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Short filmTranscript
00:00MUSIC PLAYS
00:02MUSIC PLAYS
00:04MUSIC PLAYS
00:06MUSIC PLAYS
00:08MUSIC PLAYS
00:10MUSIC PLAYS
00:12MUSIC PLAYS
00:14MUSIC PLAYS
00:16MUSIC PLAYS
00:18MUSIC PLAYS
00:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:24Hello and welcome to the best of the two journeys,
00:26late night Locken!
00:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:34Now, there were so many great moments from the last series,
00:37who can forget Margot Robbie giving Johnny B a piggyback?
00:40Ah, or the time we bet Ronaldo on headers and volleys!
00:42Yeah, Taylor Swift and Sabrina Carpenter,
00:44remember they did that acoustic version of the guy to scam the rat?
00:47That's right!
00:48But it tells you just how good tonight's show is,
00:50cos none of them made the highlight reel!
00:53LAUGHTER
00:55All right, let's take a look at what did make the cut.
00:57Roll that ten!
00:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:02Now, it's time to find out who's in the bar!
01:05WHERE IN THE BAR!
01:07Who's in the bar?
01:08WHERE IN THE BAR!
01:10I don't know how I learned how to do this,
01:11but I can balance things on my nose and my face.
01:14I can balance pretty much...
01:16pretty much anything, I think.
01:17On your face?
01:18Yeah.
01:19That's showbiz.
01:20So now, now.
01:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:24You ready?
01:26Count the three!
01:28One!
01:29Two!
01:30Three!
01:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:33I put one ear in first.
01:44Oh, my God!
01:46And then another one.
01:48But this is where the real trick happens.
01:50CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:52LAUGHTER
01:53That's amazing!
01:56That's amazing!
01:57PEAK PODY CLOCK
01:58I've got to keep on dancing at the PEAK PODY CLOCK
02:03I've got to keep on dancing at the PEAK PODY CLOCK
02:05I've got to keep on dancing at the PEAK PODY CLOCK
02:08I've got to keep on dancing at the PEAK PODY CLOCK
02:10I've got to keep on dancing at the PEAK PODY CLOCK
02:14PEAK PODY CLOCK
02:15Yeah!
02:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:18CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:22Jesus, lads!
02:23What do you say that?
02:24Can you do that?
02:25I don't want to put you on the spot.
02:26I don't know!
02:27We'll see.
02:28Watch your record, lads.
02:29Yeah!
02:30All right, here we go.
02:31What am I bloody down here?
02:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:35CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:46WHOO!
02:49WHOO!
02:52WHOO!
02:58I use that.
03:00CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
03:02I just can't do both, I can't do both!
03:27You yourself almost had a career as a pop star.
03:30I did audition for a boy band for Louis Walsh.
03:34How did it go?
03:36Yeah, not great.
03:38It was in the pod in Dublin.
03:39Do you remember the pod?
03:40They called my name up and I'm starting to sing
03:42I can show you the world from Aladdin.
03:44Good song choice!
03:49What song choice?
03:51I don't know.
03:52Do you know what, I started to avoid.
03:55I started and went, I'm in trouble.
03:58So afterwards anyway, Louis kept going to me,
04:01I'm going to put you in a band, I'm going to put you in a band.
04:03I was like, yeah, yeah, okay, cool, I'm getting all brilliant.
04:06After that audition, he took me outside and says,
04:08maybe not this band, but I'm definitely going to work with you in something.
04:11I was like, alright, brilliant.
04:12Thank God, I thought I really messed that up.
04:14He's like, yeah, yeah, no, we'll get you in something,
04:15I really want to do something with you.
04:16I was like, brilliant.
04:17He said, now, we have to get something done with them ears.
04:19What?
04:20We have to get something done with them ears?
04:23You have to get something done with them ears?
04:24You have to get something done with them ears?
04:25Yeah, and I was like, I was looking and going,
04:27I'm only 16.
04:28Yeah.
04:29Yeah, yeah, okay, yeah, yeah.
04:30Yeah, sure.
04:31So I went home and I was saying to my ma,
04:33he said I have to get something done with my ears.
04:34I was thinking my ma would say, like, cheeky bastard.
04:36Yeah, yeah.
04:37And my ma turned around and says,
04:38do you want to get something done with them?
04:40I was like, what the fuck is wrong with me ears?
04:44Last week in York, there was a man playing with himself
04:47up in the stalls of the show.
04:50I know, I was thrilled.
04:51Yeah.
04:54I was absolutely delighted.
04:56I was like, shut up.
04:59Was he hot?
05:00Was he wearing a ring?
05:01What was the crack?
05:02Because that just never happened.
05:03But he was like having a little,
05:04now, I was fed, I didn't know how,
05:07he was having a little go of himself, I'd say.
05:09What?
05:10He wasn't having a full, you know what I mean?
05:12It wasn't full of pepper shit.
05:13No.
05:14It was like...
05:17Yeah.
05:18It was, it was a little sprinkling.
05:20Would you say a little sprinkling of sorts?
05:22A fondle?
05:23A fondle.
05:24It was like he was playing three blind mice on himself.
05:26Because then, I didn't know.
05:28Well, anyway, I saw the footage of it
05:29and it was quite innocent in the end.
05:31Okay.
05:32It wasn't the compliment I thought it was.
05:33Ah, right.
05:34Yeah.
05:35But when he was removed, you just went.
05:36And I was like, that's not that hot.
05:38You should have thought for me, do you know what I mean?
05:40I was like, I want to stay and finish.
05:42She's still hot.
05:43I just left.
05:44So that's the closest thing I've had.
05:46What kind of commitment is that?
05:47I think I'm seeing him now.
05:49I think we're going to doubt.
05:51True or false, were you the only boy in an all-girls school?
05:54True, yeah.
05:55True, yeah.
05:56True.
05:57Why?
05:58What?
05:59I don't know.
06:00I didn't make up the rules.
06:02Not with me, folks.
06:03I think they just left it so long to put me into a school
06:07that there was no, in our local area, there was no places left, right?
06:10Yeah.
06:11So they had to just get, you have to go to school.
06:13It's law.
06:14Yeah.
06:15And eventually the only school that would take me was the girls' school.
06:18So I went in, so I spent the first seven years of my school with all girls in my class
06:23and everything.
06:24We have a picture of you here.
06:26Yeah.
06:27Very overdressed for a Monday.
06:28Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:29That was just what I wore to school, you know?
06:30I look like a little cult leader in that, don't I?
06:31It's like all these little miniature wives that I have, that this little cult leader has.
06:47Looking back on it, I was like, no-one's going to want to touch me.
06:50Well, I was wrong.
06:51I didn't know it blew up.
06:53And then I tweet Putin and it was the worst thing ever.
06:57You tweeted who?
06:58I tweeted Putin.
06:59Vladimir Putin.
07:00I tweeted...
07:01What did you say to him?
07:03I just said, hey bro, how much did you pay them?
07:08He's here tonight making that.
07:14And that laugh.
07:15Scourious.
07:16It came for about a year or two after that.
07:22And I came out to see versions, I shit myself.
07:25I was like, someone's just going to stick a pen on me or something like that.
07:28And I'll have say now, poison.
07:29What is your record in the long jump?
07:316.32.
07:326 metres.
07:34Pint 3.2.
07:35Right.
07:36Well, the reason we're asking that is because earlier, myself and Max gave it a go.
07:42We didn't know what was a good length, what was a bad length.
07:45We've got a video here of Johnny trying it.
07:47Do you want to see it?
07:48Yeah.
07:49Here we go.
07:50No, I just want to say I am carrying quad injury, the grind's a bit tight.
07:59I didn't have the right runners, several things.
08:04Right, okay.
08:05Would you do the honours?
08:06Can we stand up?
08:07Yeah, here you go.
08:08You can reveal that...
08:09Where are you there?
08:10Smacks got 1.7.
08:14I'll take that.
08:15Pretty good.
08:16It doesn't...
08:17It looks better measured out than it does on the video.
08:22Let's have a look and see how Johnny B got on.
08:26Oh, that's fine.
08:28He was cheating, he had really good runners on.
08:31What did you get, John?
08:32I did slightly better, I got 2.2.
08:35What did you see you got again?
08:376.32.
08:386.32, okay.
08:39We're just going to explain that to people, if we can.
08:42You jumped.
08:44So there's 4...
08:47There's 5 metres.
08:496.32 here.
08:59Well, I have 2 dogs.
09:00I had 2 dogs.
09:01I've had a 3-legged lurcher called Lola for years.
09:04And then we fostered Mick, who has 4 legs.
09:07And...
09:08And there they are, there, yeah.
09:10I don't know...
09:11Aww.
09:12I don't know what they're doing.
09:21Lola looks happy.
09:22Lola looks happy.
09:23It looks like Lola's going,
09:25You gotta earn your place in this house, Mick.
09:27We know at the same time that, say all ye jockeys,
09:30you're all in the same way room.
09:31You're all, like, kind of talking out together for want of a better room.
09:34We're literally beside each other, we're all...
09:35Yeah.
09:36Can you get spicy in there, like?
09:37Can I be...
09:38Do you know what I mean?
09:39Like, I can be honest, like,
09:40if some lad cut me off now in a corner, he'd be...
09:41You know?
09:42Yeah, there's kind of a code.
09:43Right.
09:44It can get spicy.
09:45There'd be a couple of...
09:46But really, like, we're small, little...
09:48lads.
09:49It's kind of...
09:50It's kind of a morbid.
09:51Don't do that again.
09:54Why is Samba so hard?
09:56Because it's all about, like, bouncing a move in your hips and your body.
10:01So...
10:02Is there any music in this place?
10:06Yeah.
10:07Can we get a bit of Samba music?
10:09Oh!
10:10There we go.
10:11How did we go?
10:12How did we go?
10:13How did we go?
10:14How did we go?
10:15Hang on, hang on.
10:16Hang on.
10:17Hang on.
10:18Hang on.
10:19Hang on.
10:20Hang on.
10:21Hang on.
10:22Hang on.
10:24Hang on.
10:25Hang on.
10:26Can you explain the basic steps?
10:28That's actually...
10:29Whoever put that song on, that's very fast.
10:31Right, so we don't normally go that quick, but they're bacacadas that you would do to that.
10:35I knew it was a bacacada.
10:36Classic bacacada.
10:37So, you close your feet.
10:38Right, close your feet, lads, I hope you all do with us.
10:40I hope you all do with us.
10:41I hope you all do with us.
10:42And girls, come on.
10:43Can you take a step back?
10:44Here we go, lads.
10:45Right, okay, listen up.
10:46Here we go.
10:47So, we close our feet and we're gonna go back on our right and then left.
10:49So, it's literally just back, back and stay up on your toes, wiggling your hips.
10:52So, we let you go, boom, boom, boom, boom.
10:56Right?
10:57Not bad.
10:58And then we'll just shake.
11:01You ready for music?
11:02Okay, hang on, hang on, hang on.
11:03But do you reckon we want people to...
11:05Why are you not joining?
11:06We want people to learn to dance.
11:07Oh, you're doing it behind the bar.
11:08We want people to learn to dance.
11:09Yeah.
11:10But there probably won't be too much samba music on in the pub in Tipperary.
11:13Yeah.
11:14Okay.
11:15I've been busy.
11:16Is it just a song that you might hear in a pub in Ireland?
11:17We can make a walk.
11:18Alright, lads.
11:19Can we do it.
11:20Did it!
11:21OK.
11:23We're the one part.
11:24Oh God!
11:26Oh.
11:30How do you do, it's too late for me to dance?
11:33She's working on her stuff.
11:45OK, well, seeing as you are the only real pro presenter here,
11:48you do live television all the time,
11:50would you read the autocue and throw it to the link for us?
11:52I would love to. Where am I going down here?
11:54OK, you see the screen's on top here. Here we go.
11:56OK, we have got a camera on the streets of Waterford
11:58where everyone... Oh, you absolutely...
12:03We have got a camera on the streets of Waterford
12:21where everyone smells of cabbage and I'd never go there
12:24because they're all sod-busting, blah-eating bog monsters
12:27and Limerick. To know what it is, it's way better.
12:30Also, I love the two audience...
12:32and their fair glass!
12:36The two Johnnies, not the two audience.
12:38Thank you, thank you.
12:40Wow, and William wrote that herself before she came back.
12:43Let's have another game of Irish or Aussie.
12:45Let's head back to Coogee Beach in Sydney.
12:48Oh-ho!
12:49That feels like home in a way, doesn't it?
12:51Doesn't it even just buzzing?
12:52OK, right, so just by looking at somebody...
12:54Who's this lad?
12:56How are the Irish or the Australian?
12:58This lad looks so scared. Get in on him.
13:00Get in on him.
13:02Get in on him.
13:03Oh, he's got budgie!
13:04OK, don't say, Anton, man.
13:06You're live on television.
13:07Nod your head if you're up for playing a game.
13:09I think he's got a big Irish head in him,
13:11but he's Australian from the neck down.
13:13Yeah!
13:14If that's at all possible.
13:17Joanne, what do you reckon?
13:18I agree with you.
13:19The pants aren't...
13:20There's no Irish man to wear those pants.
13:22But he does have an Irish head.
13:24I'm confused.
13:26Audience, what do you reckon, Irish or Aussie?
13:28Aussie, Aussie, Aussie!
13:30OK, and what's your name, Mike, and where are you from?
13:32Joanne from Ireland.
13:34CHEERING
13:36We've got a game that we're calling
13:38We Aren't Family.
13:40Yeah, so we've got a camera out in the streets of Galway
13:42where all the members of a family are dancing to the same tune,
13:45but here's the catch.
13:46One person isn't in the family.
13:48Your job is to spot the imposter.
13:50OK.
13:51OK, all right.
13:52Let's go live to Galway.
13:53OK, here we go.
13:55Lads, we've got the DeSantis family.
13:57I feel like I know already.
13:59LAUGHTER
14:00From one to six, straight away.
14:02Roddy, you're looking at them.
14:04Who do you think is not in the family?
14:06In the family?
14:08Yeah, they're all a family bar one.
14:10That fella number two.
14:12He looks a bit wrong.
14:14Andrew, what do you reckon, Andrew?
14:17Number three, because he looks too happy.
14:20LAUGHTER
14:21No family is that happy.
14:23OK, Karen, what do you reckon?
14:24Oh, now you're going close, it's hard.
14:26Yeah.
14:27No, so they look the image.
14:28Yeah.
14:29That fella on the end looks like he's just being plumped there.
14:31LAUGHTER
14:32It could be him, right.
14:33He looks a bit awkward.
14:34They say the rhythm is in the genes,
14:36so let's find out.
14:37We'll get them dancing, let's see.
14:39Is this live?
14:40Yeah, this is live in Galway, yeah.
14:42OK.
14:43Right, hit the music.
14:49Oh, I'm taking number four.
14:52Oh.
14:53Who do you reckon?
14:54Oh.
14:56It's amazing, number four is dancing with his tongue.
14:59LAUGHTER
15:01Karen, who found the family?
15:03Oh, that's so hard.
15:04I tell you, I think, I think number three is American.
15:07Number three looks a bit, yeah, he looks a bit foreign.
15:09He looks American.
15:10OK.
15:11But sound is number one, that girl looks too jolly compared to the rest of them.
15:14OK, who's not in the family?
15:15Three.
15:16Three.
15:17What do you call it?
15:19What number?
15:20Four, you reckon?
15:21Rodney Rick is four, I'll tell you what, say it not,
15:22because we'll find out after the break.
15:23Oh!
15:24Yeah!
15:25It's my friend
15:26That she knows all the way
15:28When I'm flapping the mountain
15:29Party hikes
15:30I'm betting for the ten
15:32We are family
15:36We're living by the sand
15:40We are family
15:44Hey!
15:45Hey!
15:46Welcome back to the Two Johnny's Late Night Lock-In!
15:48Now, before the break, we've seen the DeSantos family on the streets of Galway, but one person wasn't actually part of the family, John.
15:59Yes, let's go back to Galway and see, lads, right, looking at the screens.
16:02Who do we think is not part of the family, lads?
16:04What do you reckon?
16:05What number?
16:06Four!
16:07Six!
16:08Six!
16:09What are we saying?
16:10OK, OK, moment of truth.
16:11Moment of truth.
16:12We think it's number four.
16:13Some people are saying number six.
16:14Would the real imposter please step forward?
16:17Yeah!
16:18OK, number four.
16:19What's your name, and how do you know the family, or have you ever met them before?
16:30My name's Cian, and I have no idea who these people are.
16:34Put your hands together, and a big thank you to everybody on the streets of Galway.
16:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
16:53We're raising children not to play outside because it's too dangerous.
16:57Don't let them play outside.
16:58Why?
16:59What, in case they discover exploration, independence, problem solving, resilience, and essential fucking
17:04adult skills.
17:05And ironically, leaving them indoors with the iPad, where the paedophiles actually live, by
17:09the way, on the internet.
17:11LAUGHTER
17:12So we find ourselves in an environment.
17:15APPLAUSE
17:17I learnt this recently.
17:19Ireland has a navy.
17:22LAUGHTER
17:24We've seven boats, lads.
17:26LAUGHTER
17:27Oh, the dictators of the world are shitting themselves now, aren't they, huh?
17:31We have seven ships, seven vessels, and their job is to go round the island.
17:37Now, I don't know if they go up the north, right?
17:41LAUGHTER
17:42I haven't Googled it yet, right?
17:44So they go three quarters around the island, right?
17:47LAUGHTER
17:48Or up the...
17:49I'm a cross-community comedian, pick your side, lads, right?
17:52And their job, and I didn't know this, when I go to bed at night on my lovely warm pillow,
17:56there's men and women, out there, on the water, away from their own families,
18:02four or five weeks at a time, protecting our country.
18:05They're away from their own families, riding each other.
18:08LAUGHTER
18:11Oh, they're all at it, just like the guards and the teachers.
18:14CHEERING
18:17Yeah.
18:21Oh, they love... Oh!
18:23They live out in the Atlantic Ocean, they love it like...
18:26And they're away from...
18:29They're away from...
18:30Away from their own families, protecting our country.
18:32And I'm at home.
18:33And these people will never let us down if we ever get invaded.
18:37But only in Ireland would this happen.
18:39That one day, on the news, the government announced to the rest of the world
18:43that five of the ships were broken.
18:45LAUGHTER
18:47What sort of a country announces to the rest of the world
18:52that their first line of defence is broken?
18:55Keep your mouth shut, lads!
18:57LAUGHTER
18:58Tell them you have a hundred boats and say nothing, right?
19:01LAUGHTER
19:02I know the UK have a policy to stop the boats.
19:04In Ireland, we can't even feckin' start ours.
19:06Like, do you know?
19:07LAUGHTER
19:08APPLAUSE
19:09This is the weirdest RT show I have ever done, ladies and gentlemen.
19:18And I just recently did High Road, Low Road for RT1.
19:21Did anybody see it?
19:22Yeah, if anybody see it...
19:23OK, you flick a coin.
19:24Two percentage flick a coin.
19:25One person gets the High Road, the high-end, five-star experience.
19:27The other person gets the Low Road, the shite experience.
19:30High Road, Low Road.
19:31Colin Murphy and I went to Poland.
19:33Colin Murphy got front-road tickets to a Coldplay concert.
19:36Backstage passes and a chance to chat to Chris Martin one-on-one for 25 minutes.
19:41And I got to High Road.
19:43Um...
19:46Mwah!
19:47Stayed at home.
19:50Didn't chat to Coldplay.
19:52I am single at the minute.
19:54Um...
19:55Oh, yes.
19:56Meet me at the bar afterwards.
19:57Eh...
19:58But I think...
19:59I think I know why I'm single now.
20:00I think I've figured it out.
20:01I think it's because I like to think I can change a man.
20:04Yes.
20:05The girls over here as well.
20:07We love a little bit of a project, don't we?
20:09Yeah.
20:10You know the way some men like to fix cars?
20:12Yes.
20:13Well, I like to fix men.
20:15I'll look for something on the verge of breaking down,
20:17and I'll be like,
20:18come here to me.
20:20And then I'll spend two years under that thing,
20:22making sure it's road-worthy.
20:25Don't worry, guys.
20:26As a comedian,
20:27you're in safe hands with me.
20:28I'm very woke.
20:29Unbelievable.
20:30Unbelievable.
20:31Like, even when it comes to the old LGBTQTA,
20:34I've got a best friend for every letter.
20:37I do.
20:38I've got a best friend for every...
20:39Like, lesbian.
20:40That's my friend, Siobhan.
20:41Like, G.
20:42That's my friend, Brian.
20:43Like, T-trance.
20:44That's my friend, Siobhan, again.
20:45She's great.
20:46She covers a load of letters for me, actually.
20:48She's on the reel, that one.
20:49She's great.
20:50She doesn't cover asexually at the end,
20:51people who don't want to have sex,
20:52but my wife sorts that one out,
20:53so it's fine.
20:54You learn a lot when you become a dad,
20:55the breastfeeding and all that.
20:56I remember the very first time ever experiencing it.
20:58I was there with my wife.
20:59She was trying to feed the baby.
21:00It wasn't really working.
21:01I didn't realise.
21:02I thought it just would work all the time, you know?
21:03And God bless the nurses.
21:04A nurse came into the room
21:05and grabbed my wife's breast
21:07and my son's head
21:08with the elegance of a builder,
21:09you know?
21:10And I was like,
21:11I'm not going to have sex.
21:12I'm not going to have sex.
21:13I'm not going to have sex.
21:14But my wife sorts that one out,
21:15so it's fine.
21:16You learn a lot when you become a dad,
21:17the breastfeeding and all that.
21:18I remember the very first time ever experiencing it.
21:20I was there with my wife.
21:21She was trying to feed the baby.
21:22It wasn't really working.
21:23She was trying to feed the baby.
21:24She was trying to feed the baby
21:25with the elegance of a builder.
21:26You know?
21:27Like picking an extension lead out of a puddle.
21:29I'll get it to work.
21:30Don't worry.
21:31And now I kind of thrive on the awkwardness.
21:33You know?
21:34I love it.
21:35My wife's dad was coming to visit
21:38when we had the baby
21:39and I could see by the walk on the man
21:42when he walked into the living room
21:43that he was going to go for a kiss
21:45with the baby.
21:46And I also knew his daughter was feeding the baby.
21:53So I could have stopped him.
21:57But I was bored out of my mind, you know?
22:00I said, ah, this will be good.
22:02And fair play to him.
22:03He must have known when he got to there.
22:04But he kept going all the way down.
22:07It was so awkward.
22:08And then he tried to make a joke about it,
22:09which is something I wouldn't recommend,
22:11to be quite honest with you.
22:12Because the joke he went for that evening, right,
22:14was,
22:15leave some for me, you greedy little shit.
22:18Well, you haven't seen him since, you know?
22:23Am I the only fucker that can see the obvious link
22:27between the decline of drinking alcohol
22:29and the rise of celibacy?
22:31It's fucking obvious!
22:33Siobhan and Noel,
22:35I don't know how long you've been together.
22:3724 years.
22:3924 years, right?
22:40We don't even need to check, right?
22:41Unless you're Muslim or a recovering addict, Noel,
22:44you were off your tits the first time you got it on.
22:47With Siobhan.
22:48There is no other...
22:49There is no...
22:50There is no other way.
22:52There is no...
22:53There is no...
22:54There is no...
22:55There is no...
22:56Sorry.
23:00Guaranteed.
23:01Well...
23:06Well...
23:07We know...
23:09Well, now that's guaranteed then.
23:11I know.
23:12We don't even need to check, Noel.
23:13Do not confirm or deny.
23:14I know for a fact.
23:15You wouldn't even be here tonight.
23:16You never would...
23:17Were it not for alcohol,
23:19you would not have been created.
23:21There'd be an empty space.
23:22There'd be no rose.
23:23Noel would have had to get to the point where I'd go,
23:25I could see two of you.
23:26Can I smash one of you?
23:27It would have been something like that.
23:29Wouldn't it?
23:31It's bang on.
23:33That's it.
23:34Put your chips on my back, Noel.
23:35That's it.
23:36That's it.
23:37I can feel the vinegar on my Chinese tattoo.
23:40Thank you very much.
23:41Good evening.
23:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
23:43Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for one of the greatest quizzes of all time.
23:50It's...
23:51The Parish Quiz!
23:52APPLAUSE
23:53I also heard you're a lifeguard.
23:54You're a qualified lifeguard.
23:55Yeah.
23:56Technically, yeah.
23:57But I can't swim.
23:58Right, so you're a lifeguard and you can't swim.
23:59You're aware of what lifeguards do.
24:00Yeah.
24:01How did you qualify?
24:02I did a class in school with about 20 other people and I was the only one that failed.
24:15And they felt bad, so they passed me.
24:17LAUGHTER
24:19And I did a class in school with about 20 other people and I was the only one that failed.
24:26And they felt bad, so they passed me.
24:29LAUGHTER
24:32I'll tell you what I'm doing, Dean.
24:33If I'm ever in the river, please, please, just offer me a suit instead or something.
24:36LAUGHTER
24:37What are you up to yourself?
24:38Oh, doing a bit of milking, doing a bit of nursing.
24:41Bit of milking, a bit of nursing.
24:42Bit of nursing, bit of milking, yeah.
24:44The two ends of it, you know.
24:46LAUGHTER
24:47Are you a nurse?
24:49Trying.
24:50I'm in my...
24:51He's doing a nurse.
24:52I only dropped out once and I didn't drop out this past two years, so I'm doing well now.
24:55LAUGHTER
24:59And who are you milking?
25:01Or who are you looking for?
25:02LAUGHTER
25:03Who are you milking for?
25:04Who are you milking for?
25:05Eh...
25:07Pat Callum.
25:08He's a fellow up the road from me, so...
25:10Right.
25:11Milking there nearly five years, so...
25:12Now, we heard you had an interest in the other roles at Shelley yourself.
25:16CHEERING
25:17What's...
25:18What's this?
25:19What's going on?
25:20I know...
25:21We love...
25:22So we're only about 40 minutes odd from Shelley at home, so we go back every year.
25:24So I recognised a few of the faces when I came in this evening.
25:27Eh, no, we love it.
25:28And how do you think Caitlyn is doing?
25:29Oh, she's fab.
25:30Caitlyn's a dote.
25:31Yeah, such a good guy.
25:32Great answer.
25:33Rose Shelley answering.
25:34LAUGHTER
25:35100%.
25:36I feel like Dahi O'Shea already.
25:38What a kill lady.
25:40Hold on, lads.
25:41Do you have a favourite animal?
25:42I do, erm, Snoopy the cow.
25:45LAUGHTER
25:46Snoopy the cow, no.
25:47Is Snoopy the cow just your favourite, or is it a pet, or what?
25:50Oh, it's a pet, yeah.
25:51Right.
25:52No, she...
25:53As a calf and a heifer, she used to snoop into her pockets.
25:56Right.
25:57To see what she could find.
25:58Usually sweets or something, you know.
26:00Something good.
26:01LAUGHTER
26:02So that's why she got the name Snoopy.
26:04The way I left your favourite, there's a lot of money in there.
26:06LAUGHTER
26:07There's none of that, Johnny.
26:08LAUGHTER
26:09And representing us is Jake Kylie.
26:11How are you, Jake?
26:12Too bad, no.
26:13Too bad.
26:14Well, Jake, how are you getting on, man?
26:15Wrecked.
26:16LAUGHTER
26:17Jesus Christ.
26:18Well, how's you wrecked?
26:19A fair long way up, mate.
26:20LAUGHTER
26:21LAUGHTER
26:22We're up here every week, man.
26:23Come on.
26:24Yeah, you could stay home, we'd see each other as well, mate.
26:27LAUGHTER
26:28Kicking off with John in Rossnery.
26:30Here's your question.
26:31Hi, Johnny.
26:32Congratulations on becoming the third Johnny.
26:34Just to ask you, who was the captain of the St Mary's adult team
26:39that won the Junior B Championship.
26:41And here's his mother.
26:44LAUGHTER
26:46APPLAUSE
26:48It's a mirage.
26:53LAUGHTER
26:54I'm sorry, the man asking the question is standing right there.
26:57LAUGHTER
26:58And then the mother is there.
27:00LAUGHTER
27:01You obviously recognise that woman.
27:02I do, yeah.
27:03Who is it?
27:04Who is it?
27:05Who is it?
27:06It's Mammy.
27:07LAUGHTER
27:08The woman in the video is your mother.
27:10Yeah.
27:11OK, so the answer to the question is...
27:12My brother, James Lynch.
27:14LAUGHTER
27:15APPLAUSE
27:16So I know if you're right.
27:17APPLAUSE
27:19And the answer is...
27:20James Lynch.
27:21APPLAUSE
27:22Munder Connacht, we're back to you.
27:27Let's have your next question.
27:28Well, Amy, Conor here.
27:29I'm with the two Fergals.
27:30You're with the two Johnnies.
27:31Munchophonic last won the Junior Championship in 1976 against Banyan.
27:35Our question for you today is...
27:36Whose cows are those?
27:37LAUGHTER
27:38Whose cows are they out the back of the GE airfield?
27:39Right.
27:40It is...
27:41Own Brodie's cows.
27:42Own Brodie's cows.
27:43Yes.
27:44Right, well, let's find out if you're right.
27:45And the answer is...
27:46The Brodie's cows.
27:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
27:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
27:49Tige, we're starting with Nurnie.
27:50Here we go, here's your question.
27:51Hi, Tige.
27:52Gillian here from the shop.
27:53Can you tell us which local farmer sells us these potatoes?
27:56LAUGHTER
27:57No, Tige.
27:58That's Gillian from the shop.
27:59LAUGHTER
28:00No, Tige.
28:01That's Gillian from the shop.
28:02LAUGHTER
28:03LAUGHTER
28:04LAUGHTER
28:05No, Tige.
28:06That's Gillian from the shop.
28:07LAUGHTER
28:08LAUGHTER
28:09LAUGHTER
28:10LAUGHTER
28:11LAUGHTER
28:12LAUGHTER
28:13LAUGHTER
28:17No need for first names, the shop.
28:19I like how...
28:20I like how you're all in Nurnie, lad.
28:22Too much hardship to name the shop.
28:24LAUGHTER
28:25It's just the shop.
28:26Who produces them spuds?
28:27Eh...
28:28Jeez.
28:29John Byrne.
28:30John Byrne.
28:31John Byrne.
28:32OK.
28:33All right.
28:34John Byrne, you say...
28:35Let's find out if you're right.
28:36And the answer is...
28:37The Byrnes.
28:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:40John Byrne, Byrne, Byrne, Byrne, Byrne, Byrne, Byrne, Byrne, Byrne, Byrne, Byrne, Byrne.
28:45CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
28:49OK, Aisling, let's go back to Khalidi for your next question.
28:52Hi, Aisling.
28:54Margaret and Mike here.
28:55We're here in the shop in Nahida.
28:57And Margaret has a question for you.
28:59Aisling, what year did my mother open the shop?
29:02LAUGHTER
29:03Now, that is...
29:04..Khalidi's posh and vex, Margaret and Mike.
29:06LAUGHTER
29:07Oh, God.
29:08In what year did Margaret's mother open the shop?
29:10Like, I think it's the 50s.
29:12Between 53 and 54.
29:13Go on, give it a go.
29:1454.
29:151954.
29:16OK, let's go back to Dexter's laboratory and find out.
29:19And the answer is...
29:201953.
29:21CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
29:23LAUGHTER
29:24Jake, you ready?
29:25Just to go up now.
29:26Let's go to the Premier County for our next question.
29:28Hi, Jake.
29:29Andy here.
29:30Which one of the coals two hounds?
29:31I'm sorry.
29:32I'm sorry.
29:33I'm sorry.
29:34I'm sorry.
29:35I'm sorry.
29:36I'm sorry.
29:37I'm sorry.
29:38I'm sorry.
29:39I'm sorry.
29:40I'm sorry.
29:41I'm sorry.
29:42I'm sorry.
29:43I'm sorry.
29:44I'm sorry.
29:45I'm sorry.
29:46I'm sorry.
29:48Hi, Jake.
29:49Andy here.
29:50With Firmacool's two hounds.
29:53But last Thursday evening, this hound here, Pepe,
29:56had a big birthday party in Palmuca.
29:58Your father was there with many others.
30:00He had a cheesecake.
30:01The lads had sponge cake.
30:03But what age was Pepe?
30:05LAUGHTER
30:07OK, the question is...
30:09The question is, what age was Pepe the dog last week?
30:12Well, I wouldn't invite it.
30:13LAUGHTER
30:15I didn't even get to collect a feather then.
30:17LAUGHTER
30:18Eh...
30:19That dog's fair old.
30:21LAUGHTER
30:22It's 16.
30:24That's a fair age.
30:26Let's go back to Andy and find out if you're right.
30:28Hi, Jake.
30:29I hope you got it right,
30:30or you'll be in trouble the next evening.
30:32But Mr Pepe celebrated his 16th birthday.
30:36CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
30:40It's a draw, lads, which means we need a tiebreaker.
30:43Right, can we get Davy Russell to give us a hand with this tiebreaker?
30:46Davy Russell.
30:47CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
30:49Jump in here, Dave.
30:50This is a tough quiz, lads.
30:52It is a tough quiz.
30:53Well, you see, you're not from those parishes, Davy.
30:56I'm not.
30:571953 and 1954, do you know what I mean?
31:00Tough.
31:01OK, lads.
31:02So, our question is, Davy Russell, champion jockey,
31:06all his life had to be on top of his weight in order to race.
31:09Our question is, now he's retired, what weight is he?
31:12LAUGHTER
31:13You don't have a weight in time.
31:14You have a weight in skills.
31:15No, please.
31:16Tyg and Nerney to the nearest KG.
31:19What weight would you say, Davy?
31:20He's laying a mutton down.
31:21LAUGHTER
31:23What's your looking, Tyg?
31:25His old height, his hind quarters are...
31:27Have a good, have a good look at him, now.
31:30LAUGHTER
31:31What, what would you put on him, Tyg?
31:33Eh...
31:35Shhh...
31:3788kg.
31:3988kg.
31:40What's that in old money?
31:42I don't know.
31:43I don't know what that is in old money.
31:4488kg.
31:45Ashley?
31:46Oh, it's pure shat in the deck.
31:48I'd say 85kg.
31:50OK, she's meant for the less one.
31:5285kg.
31:53Well, here's the moment of the truth, Davy.
31:54LAUGHTER
31:55We're back in the weigh room.
31:57Oh, I mean, like, with or without clothes?
31:59LAUGHTER
32:00We'll be back after the break.
32:02LAUGHTER
32:03We'll leave on the clothes.
32:04I'll just hop up on it, she'll work away.
32:05Will she?
32:06Yeah, OK.
32:07Including the boots.
32:09Shhh...
32:1188kg, which means Tyg is the winner.
32:14CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
32:17Now, here is the moment of the truth, OK?
32:18In one of these envelopes is an all-expenses-paid trip to Las Vegas.
32:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
32:34Now, also in there, OK, is a bag of spuds from the shop.
32:39Which envelope are you going to take, Tyg?
32:43What's it going to be?
32:44In one of them is the trip to Vegas and the others the bag of spuds.
32:46We're going with this one.
32:47You're going with that one closest to you, OK?
32:49Tyg, open her up and let us know.
32:51Dead right bless yourself.
32:52Give me fingers crossed for you, Tyg.
32:53Hold it up to the camera.
32:54What have you got?
32:55What's it going to be?
32:56A bag of spuds.
32:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
32:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
33:00Thanks, give it up for Clayton Ashley.
33:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
33:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
33:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
33:08Free from desire.
33:09Mind and sense is purified.
33:11Free from desire.
33:13Mind and sense is purified.
33:15Free from desire.
33:17Mind and sense is purified.
33:19Free from desire.
33:21Now, ladies and gentlemen, you may not know this.
33:39We don't like to bring it up too often, but tip one, the All-Ireland.
33:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
33:45Take that, Carol.
33:47And tonight, in the bar, is a very important guest.
33:52Can I make my way down, please, if you don't mind, ladies and gentlemen?
33:55Sorry, how are you?
33:56What's your name?
33:57You're not our guest, but thank you.
33:58LAUGHTER
33:59Not you and the Kenny Jersey Idol, lads.
34:01Because if you don't mind, right here, behind you all,
34:03all evening has been...
34:05D'Alene MacArthur!
34:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:09Yes!
34:10Now...
34:12Tipperary, we're lucky enough to win it this year.
34:16But only ten counties have ever won the Hurling All-Ireland Championship.
34:20And had the chance to climb those hallowed steps
34:22and make the famous speech.
34:24So we thought we'd let some counties
34:26who have never won the All-Ireland...
34:28LAUGHTER
34:30Some people here in the audience might like to lift it.
34:32Like, I see a whole mix of jerseys.
34:34Where are you guys from?
34:35Baltimore, America.
34:37Baltimore have never won it.
34:39LAUGHTER
34:40Right.
34:41Say, for example, is there anyone here from Tyrone?
34:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:47OK, let's go have a shot.
34:50LAUGHTER
34:51This should go well, I think.
34:53LAUGHTER
34:54OK, who's from Tyrone?
34:56CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:57Tyrone have never won the Liam McCarty, have they?
34:59That's right, I know.
35:00Well, would you like the chance now to lift the cup
35:02and make a speech?
35:03Jeez, I'd love it, eh.
35:04OK, now...
35:05Are you ready, so, in your own time, ready?
35:06Ooh...
35:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35:09CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35:12Who would you like to thank?
35:13Jeez, I'd like to thank my whole family
35:15and all the good people at Tirlikin,
35:17especially my Uncle Rodney Kelly,
35:19a big inspiration for me.
35:20LAUGHTER
35:21No, this is... this is unbelievable.
35:24Never thought I'd lift this thing in my life.
35:27LAUGHTER
35:28Thanks very much.
35:29Give it over to Ron, everybody!
35:31CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
35:33Back to you, Johnny Smacks.
35:36Thank you, John.
35:37Now, as Johnny B said,
35:38only ten counties have won the Liam McCarty Cook.
35:41One of those counties haven't won it since 1998.
35:44I am, of course, talking about Offaly.
35:47Neil, do you remember the summer of 1998?
35:50Shut your face!
35:51LAUGHTER
35:52Yes, it was brilliant, absolutely brilliant.
35:54First team to be knocked out and still win it
35:56when it got in the back door,
35:57the way all Offaly people like to do it.
35:59LAUGHTER
36:01Now...
36:02That... that sounded weird when I was there.
36:04LAUGHTER
36:05I'm from Rosgray, so right on the border.
36:07Yeah, occupied Offaly.
36:08Yeah, yeah.
36:09LAUGHTER
36:10So, you know, I'm always kind of giving Offaly a ribbon,
36:12but I think it's time that, you know,
36:14we get the Liam McCarthy over, give it to an Offaly man.
36:16Oh, yes, please.
36:17I think it's only fair, Lance.
36:18Would you like to see Neil Delamere lift the Liam McCarthy Cup?
36:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
36:22I don't know about this.
36:23For the bite of Offaly.
36:24Come on, what about Carlo?
36:26LAUGHTER
36:31There's a good chance...
36:32There's a good chance I may not be able to show my face
36:34around Ross Grave for a while,
36:35but Neil Delamere,
36:36you've surely practised this in the mirror as a young fella.
36:38No, I knew I was so shite, I didn't get anyone here.
36:40LAUGHTER
36:41I'd like to thank my uncle, Rodney Kelly.
36:43LAUGHTER
36:46He's... he moved down from Tyrone,
36:48and this is why we won.
36:49Can I do the speech I would make?
36:51Oh, lads, it's...
36:52Listen, it's customary in this position,
36:54we're going to say hip-hip-a-ray to the losing team.
36:57LAUGHTER
36:58But it was Kilkenny,
36:59and you can't beat those fuckers by enough, so...
37:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
37:03LAUGHTER
37:09Neil, put it up, lift it up!
37:10Go on, lift it up!
37:11Get it up there!
37:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
37:14Look at that!
37:15Oh, blue, it is a lovely colour
37:18Till it gets the second dip
37:20That's the way with the outland's courting
37:22You'll never know when he'll take a fit
37:24Madam, I'm a darlin' a dire-o-didder-o
37:27Oh, madam, I'm a darlin' a dire-o-day
37:29Oh, madam, I have gold and silver
37:32Madam, I have tracks of land
37:34Madam, I have ships in the ocean
37:36All I'm missing is a fine young man
37:38Madam, I'm a darlin' a dire-o-didder-o
37:41Oh, madam, I'm a darlin' a dire-o-day
37:44Oh, going to the well for water
37:46Washing it around for to make some tay
37:48He fell over, I fell under
37:51All of the game was above the nae
37:53Madam, I'm a darlin' a dire-o-didder-o
37:56Oh, madam, I'm a darlin' a dire-o-day
37:58Oh, madam, I'm a darlin' a dire-o-day
37:59Oh, madam, you can tie my garter
38:01Tie it up above my knee
38:03You!
38:04If you want, you can tie it further
38:05Madam, I'm a darlin' a dire-o-day
38:07Oh, madam, I'm a darlin' a dire-o-didder-o
38:10Oh, madam, I'm a darling a die-ro-dee. Oh, madam, I'm a darling a die-ro-dee-ro. Oh, madam, I'm a darling a die-ro-dee.
38:18Yay!
38:20Well, Ireland, that's so stuff.
38:23So, you can match the personality of an animal to what kind of person they should be with.
38:30It's not diet or relight again with animals, is it?
38:32It kind of is.
38:33The rural Irish version.
38:34We're back to leash.
38:36There's two Jack Russells.
38:39We're wondering if you could describe, we've got an animal here for you.
38:42Yeah, this is Goujon, who is a five-year-old golden retriever.
38:46I mean, what kind of person owns a Goujon?
38:49Well, the person who should own a golden retriever is someone that likes to walk and someone who's active.
38:54Because a lot of dogs are rehomed because people get a cockapoo and they live in a fucking flat in Dublin or something.
38:58So, I would think a quite active person that likes walking.
39:02Yeah, we've got another dog for you here.
39:04This is Ted Hastings, who's a four-year-old golden doodle.
39:08Yeah.
39:09You know, what kind of a person owns him?
39:10Well, that would probably be an old lady or an elderly gay man.
39:13Great, we can tell you there are two dogs.
39:18Nailed it.
39:21Well, the question is, which Johnny owns which dog?
39:25Oh.
39:26Who's been doing more walking?
39:29It's impossible to tell, isn't it?
39:32Golden retriever.
39:33Yeah.
39:34That's my Goujon.
39:35Yeah, golden doodle.
39:36I am, of course.
39:37He's going to one.
39:38He's going to one.
39:39I am, of course, an heavenly gamer.
39:41Hello, Ash.
39:42Hello.
39:43So, we have a series of pictures which show you at your absolute peak.
39:48So, we thought we'd play a game.
39:49Are you up for this?
39:50Yeah.
39:51Okay, it's called Game Face, where you have to tell us which event you are participating
39:56in, just going from your facial expressions.
39:58Right.
39:59Let's have a look at your first picture.
40:01Oh, yes.
40:02It has to be long jump, because I always put the worst faces to a long jump, surely.
40:06You reckon it's long jump?
40:07If I do that in any other event, that's really embarrassing.
40:10Okay.
40:11Let's find out if it is long jump.
40:14Hey!
40:15It's a long jump.
40:17Always the worst photos.
40:19Always.
40:20Let's have a look at another photo, Cain.
40:23Now.
40:24I know it instantly.
40:25Could have been a really big curry.
40:27What do you reckon, Cain?
40:32It has to be the shot putt.
40:33The shot putt.
40:34It has to be.
40:35This is me trying to do maths.
40:36It has to be.
40:37Right.
40:38Let's find out if it is the shot putt.
40:39It is.
40:40Yay!
40:41Let's have one more.
40:42Let's have a look.
40:43Okay.
40:44Erm.
40:45I know it again.
40:46It's a long jump.
40:47It has to be, like.
40:48Okay, let's have a look.
40:49Is it the long jump?
40:50It has to be.
40:51It has to be.
40:52It has to be.
40:53It is you long jumping over the lift.
40:56Get ready.
40:57So, we're going to show you some pictures.
41:02This is the view you would have had when you were riding these horses winning races.
41:06Did I?
41:07Are these horses that I rode?
41:08Yes.
41:09Okay.
41:10So, let's have a look at horse number one.
41:11No way.
41:12No way.
41:13I didn't ride that horse.
41:15It's got a double bridle on.
41:16No way.
41:17So.
41:18You did.
41:19That's one of yours.
41:20That's one of yours.
41:21That's one of yours.
41:22Yeah.
41:23There's no denying it now.
41:24I know they don't all look the same when you see the photos.
41:28That's one of yours.
41:29They don't all look the same from behind, Davey.
41:34Right, Davey.
41:35Look.
41:36You rode this horse.
41:37Who is it?
41:38Sam Crow.
41:39It's Max.
41:40Well, Davey, let's find out if you're right.
41:42It is Sam Crow.
41:43That's amazing.
41:44Okay, we've got another one.
41:45Yeah, we've got another one.
41:46Okay, Davey.
41:47Here's a look at horse number two.
41:49No, that is, that is, I would say a harder one.
41:52Very hairy.
41:53No, I...
41:54No, you did.
41:55These are...
41:56They're all horses.
41:57We know you did.
41:58They're all horses you rode.
41:59Right.
42:00You did.
42:01You did.
42:02They're all horses you rode.
42:03Right.
42:04You did.
42:05You did.
42:06They're all horses.
42:07They're all horses you rode.
42:08Right.
42:09You did.
42:10They're all horses you rode.
42:11Right.
42:12I...
42:13I...
42:14I...
42:15I don't know that horse.
42:16No.
42:17Take a guess.
42:18If it's...
42:19Fieldor.
42:20It's not Irish Point.
42:21Oh, good horse.
42:22Yeah.
42:23It was my last winner.
42:25Yeah.
42:26Yeah, your last winner.
42:27It was my last winner.
42:28Yeah, good horse him.
42:29Okay.
42:30He can't hear you.
42:31Let's have a look at one more.
42:32One more horse.
42:33Ah, the man himself, is it?
42:36What are you saying?
42:37What are you saying?
42:38Is that the tiger?
42:39It is tiger oil.
42:40Yeah.
42:41What is he?
42:42Good horse.
42:43Good horse.
42:44Good horse.
42:45Good horse.
42:46Good horse.
42:47Good horse.
42:48Good horse.
42:49Your man still gives out about your fashion choices from time to time.
42:52I mean, is it fair to say she's trolling you a bit?
42:54When I'm...
42:55She is my ultimate troll.
42:56I had to ban her from texting me when I'm live on television.
43:00Because it was...
43:01Oh, state of your hair.
43:02Jesus.
43:03A bit heavy with the make-up.
43:04A bit heavy with the make-up this morning.
43:06Do you think that...
43:07Do you think that shirt is right?
43:08Oh my God, are you pregnant?
43:09Did you forget to tell me?
43:10And this is just...
43:11Wait, in the middle of the show?
43:12In the middle of...
43:13In the middle of...
43:14Like, it will start at seven and it will not stop until ten.
43:16So I had to ban her.
43:17We have some of the messages that your ma'am has sent you.
43:19Oh no.
43:20Can't...
43:21She's got up.
43:22This is for you.
43:23The hair is...
43:24The hair is a big page.
43:25Can't see your face with your hair.
43:26With your hair.
43:27Yeah.
43:28So this is in the middle of the show.
43:29You might check your forehead to break.
43:307.40 in the morning.
43:3120 to 8.
43:32I've been on air for 40 minutes.
43:33We have another one here.
43:34Hair lovely, but you're very pale.
43:36Very pale.
43:38It's not the time, Mary.
43:40We're living in different times, girl.
43:41Mary is on fire at 8.19.
43:43We've got another one here.
43:44Hate that blouse mirror.
43:45Bin bin.
43:46Bin bin.
43:47And I think this is my personal favourite.
43:51Love...
43:52Love your jumper.
43:53TV3 keep showing your spanks.
43:57We've wondered like what it's like to get hit by a professional boxer.
44:00Yeah.
44:01And thankfully Johnny B has said he's willing...
44:06To get hit by a professional boxer.
44:08So we...
44:11So...
44:12Pretend he's Putin.
44:13Would you?
44:15This one's not that potted.
44:16Good.
44:17Good.
44:18Good.
44:19It is.
44:20Give it to him, Mick.
44:21Fucking give it to him.
44:22You're starting like that, yeah?
44:24Sorry.
44:25Oh!
44:26You're ready?
44:27You're ready?
44:28You're ready?
44:29You're ready?
44:30You're ready?
44:31No.
44:32No.
44:33No.
44:34No.
44:35No.
44:36No.
44:37No.
44:38No.
44:39No.
44:40No.
44:41No.
44:42No.
44:43No.
44:44No.
44:45No.
44:46No.
44:47No.
44:49No.
44:50No.
44:51No.
44:52No.
44:57That's only the time for tonight.
44:59Time for tonight, lads!
45:01Back in the house for the two Johnnies, late night lock-in season finale!
45:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:08Yeah, yeah, fuck you, yeah!
45:10WHISTLE BLOWS
45:13Short action is actually the maniac!
45:16CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:18All right.
45:20Let's do this.
45:23Whoo-hoo-hoo!
45:25Whoo-hoo-hoo!
45:27She walked across the dance for that night.
45:30She was dressed to kill.
45:31She was a sexy lady.
45:33She had to get her thrill.
45:35How did she get it?
45:36How did she know?
45:37All the music to beat the temple.
45:38She was wrong for that life.
45:40She was in for a fight.
45:41She said,
45:42Greetings.
45:43All the time with a new chair.
45:44All the time with a mic in the left hand.
45:46It's been all fun to preach it.
45:47Are you ready now?
45:48Move to the rules now.
45:49Life in here's no meaning.
45:51Are you ready now?
45:52Move to the madness of a party night to you.
45:54We bring this group to you.
45:56Are you ready now?
45:58Move to the groove.
46:00Put your hands up in the air.
46:02Put them up, put them up.
46:03One simple question to ask you.
46:05Are you ready?
46:09Whoo-hoo-hoo!
46:11Go, go, go!
46:12Whoo-hoo-hoo!
46:14Go, go, go!
46:15All right.
46:16Every single person in the house tonight.
46:18Let you see, she's a maniac.
46:21She's a maniac.
46:22She's a maniac, maniac on the floor.
46:27And she's dancing.
46:28And she's dancing like she never did before.
46:33Why do you run the tunes on his dance floor?
46:36She's a maniac, maniac on the floor.
46:40Sing it!
46:41And she's dancing.
46:42And she's dancing like she never did before.
46:47Don't cry tonight.
46:49Don't cry tonight.
46:52Side to side like you just don't care
46:56Everybody in the house on a party night
46:58Scream up back to me
47:00I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the I'm the
47:03She's the maniac, the maniac on the floor
47:08And she's dancing
47:09And she's dancing like she never did before
47:14Don't cry tonight
47:22Huge thank you to everyone here in swan's bar tonight and thank you to all of our guests throughout the series and thank you at
47:28Home for watching now for a very special performance from Dan McCabe playing grace
47:33See you soon
47:42Chapel
47:44In
47:52We have told us who we must be her
48:03Liberty
48:04Oh
48:06Oh
48:08Mr. Please do you are?
48:11Oh
48:13Oh
48:17Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment to linger
48:24You'll take me out the dark and I will die
48:30With all my love I place this wedding ring upon your finger
48:40Upon your finger
48:42There won't be time to share a love for me the same
48:52Oh
48:54Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment to linger
49:01They'll take me out the dark and I will die
49:07When there won't be time to share a love for me the same
49:09Grace just hold me in your arms and let this moment to linger
49:10We have told you I will die
49:10K clarite
49:11With all my love I place this wedding ring upon your finger
49:20There won't be time to share a love, oh
49:23Grace just hold me in your arms and let the sweetest moment to linger
49:26I will be in your arms and let this moment to linger
49:28There won't be time to share our love
49:37For we say goodbye
49:58For we say goodbye
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