- 3 hours ago
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00:00Who Loves the Sun?
00:07Who cares that it makes plants grow?
00:12Who cares what it does since you broke my heart?
00:17Who loves the wind?
00:22Who cares that it makes breezes?
00:27Who cares what it does since you broke my heart?
00:33Who loves the sun?
00:40Who loves the sun?
00:47Ba-ba-ba-ba, not everyone
00:55Ba-ba-ba-ba, who loves the sun?
01:01Who loves the sun?
01:08Blue größts
01:18Now look, I know what you're thinking and yes, I do work out.
01:22I just like to rest a few years between sets.
01:28But seriously, this is proof that our product can be used by anyone, irrespective of age, body type.
01:34Or back hair density.
01:36Thanks a lot.
01:38Made using Nature's own MacKay Berry, Tansform, I'm glowed up and ready to attack each day, even in your Australian winter, huh?
01:46Which is surprisingly cold.
01:48Yeah.
01:48My nipples do not lie, huh?
01:51Mine either.
01:53Well, Spraytown is a growth area for us.
01:56Really? So, uh, is that a yes?
02:00Well, here's what I'm thinking.
02:02Excuse me. What is going on here?
02:05Could you just give us a minute?
02:07Can I see your room keys, please?
02:10No, I mean, yeah.
02:11Yeah.
02:13Okay, hold on. We can explain.
02:15Obviously, we should have paid to rent the patio area, all right?
02:18And not pretend to be staying here.
02:19And Vicky should not have called the manager who what she called.
02:23Yeah, yeah, okay, but we are a startup and we're low on cash and you were being an asshole.
02:26Yeah, we believe that Tansform is a market-changing product.
02:30Yeah.
02:30So much so that I mortgaged my house to fund it.
02:33He did.
02:33Listen, when we assess a company, we don't just evaluate the product, we look at the people, too.
02:38Okay, well, if that's the case, let me give you a little close-up on my brother here, shall I?
02:42He is the smartest, most committed, most honest person you could ever hope to work with.
02:48You know what? And honestly, if you don't believe in us, why don't you suck my...
02:51Okay, okay, you have our information. Thank you.
02:53I went too far, didn't I?
02:56Then at least we came off as passionate.
03:00Where are we actually staying?
03:05Ugh.
03:07The nights are on Expedia.
03:08Eh, I'm happy about you.
03:16Does this country smell weird?
03:18Huh. A little.
03:38Do we know?
04:00Ooh! Hello, gorgeous.
04:04Hey, uh, what do you want?
04:06What's a guy who smashes through a door you usually want?
04:09I thought I'd head until next week.
04:11Where's the money?
04:13Where is it?
04:15Hey, um, yeah, no, they were a sure thing.
04:19Everyone knows the rest were dog shit.
04:21The only sure thing in life, mate,
04:23is getting your head fucking caved in when you don't pay your debts.
04:26Okay, wait, yeah, no, um, I don't have it all today, but, uh...
04:30But what?
04:32Holy shit.
04:34You used to play, right?
04:36No, mate.
04:37Yeah, no, it would have been fucking years ago.
04:39You got knocked out in the semi, cracked your head clean-up.
04:42I recognise you.
04:43Wrong bloke, mate.
04:44No, no, no, I remember.
04:45No, I had cash on Norths, and once they wheeled you out,
04:48the boys collapsed.
04:49Yeah.
04:50Terry, Terry Torres.
04:52That's it.
04:53You're a fucking great player, man.
04:55What the hell happened to you?
05:02Now fuck it up, man.
05:04Fuck.
05:18Hey, it's me.
05:19How are ya?
05:20Good.
05:21Great.
05:22Uh, so, crazy thing, I'm in Australia.
05:26Yeah, Sydney, actually.
05:29Hi.
05:30Hey.
05:31What's up?
05:32Oh, uh, this is for Joyce.
05:34Can you talk to her?
05:35Yeah, we're having dinner tonight.
05:36Ew.
05:37And what's this, like a present?
05:38You don't like it?
05:39No, it's trash.
05:40But she's your ex, not mine.
05:41Okay, but the ex is a little strong.
05:42We're just separated.
05:43You know, we still talk.
05:44Okay, okay.
05:45I'm just saying, I don't think this is gonna make you unseparated.
05:46You're right, you're right.
05:47Ugh, my judgement is off.
05:48Why am I so nervous about this?
05:49I don't know, maybe because you quit your job and started a new business and flew across
05:54the world to win her back, which I guess is romantic as hell, but that's not why we're
05:58here.
05:59Priority number one is what?
06:00Tansform.
06:01That's right.
06:02Tansform.
06:03Not fuckin' Joyce.
06:04Yeah, you're right.
06:05Tansform.
06:06Tansform.
06:07Not fuckin' Joyce.
06:08Yeah, you're right.
06:09Tansform.
06:10Tansform.
06:11Tansform.
06:12Not fuckin' Joyce.
06:13Tansform.
06:14No, you're right.
06:15You're right.
06:16But she'll take me back, right?
06:18I don't know, man.
06:19Maybe.
06:20Probably.
06:21Not with that thing.
06:22Gimme.
06:23Gimme.
06:24Fucking...
06:25Thing's a real panty-raiser.
06:26Panty-raiser?
06:27Panty-raiser.
06:28You want them lowered and...
06:30You know what?
06:31Never mind.
06:32I don't want to talk about this with you.
06:33I'm going to the convention.
06:34How'd you get started?
06:36I don't know.
06:37I don't want to talk about this with you.
06:38I'm going to the convention.
06:41How'd you get started?
06:42I worked at a spray tanning salon back home and then one day my boss, she started bitching
06:47at me and she was like, you can't use the employee discount for customers.
06:51But I was like, I'm only using them on the hot customers.
06:54Some of whom I was sleeping with, you know?
06:56Plus these days can be so frustrating.
06:58So frustrating, I know.
06:59So then I took some of the boxes of spray tanning and I started selling it behind the
07:03local high school.
07:04And then of course my bitch boss rats me out and then all of a sudden I'm in jail.
07:07Wait, jail?
07:08I know.
07:09So anyway, I tell my brother and he bails me out and then he's like lecturing me on how
07:14I need to get my life together.
07:15And I'm like, Martin.
07:16His name's Martin.
07:17I'm like, Martin.
07:18That's what I'm trying to do.
07:19I mean, you see that, right Sophie?
07:21Yeah, for sure.
07:22Can we go back to the jail thing?
07:24No, it's just that I don't want to work for a fascist.
07:27No, I want to be respected.
07:28Oh, and then I have this trip to Chile to like drop off this package, which was stupid.
07:32And I meet this gorgeous but mean hula hooper.
07:36Hula hooping was her job?
07:37No, it wasn't her job.
07:39But she was really good at it.
07:40And anyway, then I see these guys and they're doing these incredible temporary tattoos with
07:45the juice of this berry.
07:47Berry?
07:48So we get a scientist to like whip up a formula or whatever.
07:51I don't know.
07:52I'm not a scientist.
07:53And we slap a label on it.
07:54And here I am talking to you.
07:56That's quite a story.
07:58Why'd you come out to Australia?
08:00Cause your son sucks.
08:01Cancer.
08:02Cancer.
08:03Plus, if you can make it here in tanning, you can make it anywhere.
08:06Okay.
08:07Well, here's your booth.
08:13You seem disappointed.
08:14Is there a problem?
08:15Well, frankly, the offensive size, Sophie.
08:20Not to mention the stench of hangover shits, which will definitely deter potential customers.
08:25Don't you think?
08:26I could check if there's a deodorizer.
08:28That's not going to work.
08:29Sophie, I thought we were friends.
08:31There is one remaining booth, but it's part of the diamond package.
08:34So it's a bit pricier.
08:35Take me.
08:36Back this way.
08:37Okay.
08:38Cause you're not mad at me or anything, right?
08:39No, I'm not mad.
08:40A little bit scared.
08:45Joyce.
08:46Hi.
08:47Hi.
08:48You look fantastic.
08:49How are you?
08:50Good.
08:51I'm good.
08:52How are you?
08:53I am great.
08:54And you're in Sydney.
08:55Right?
08:56What are the odds?
08:57Both of us in Southeastern Australia.
08:58It's crazy.
08:59So, um, what are you doing here?
09:00Well, believe it or not, Vicki and I started a company.
09:01Okay.
09:02Doing what?
09:03Dramatic reveal.
09:04Ta-da.
09:05We are officially in the beauty product business.
09:07Okay.
09:08Okay.
09:09Okay.
09:10Okay.
09:11Okay.
09:12Okay.
09:13Okay.
09:14Okay.
09:15Okay.
09:16Okay.
09:17Okay.
09:18Okay.
09:19Okay.
09:20Okay.
09:21Okay.
09:22Okay.
09:23Okay.
09:24Okay.
09:25Okay.
09:26Okay.
09:27Okay.
09:28Okay.
09:29Okay.
09:30Okay.
09:31Uh, what about your job?
09:33I'll quit.
09:34Really?
09:35After 20 years?
09:38Well, entrepreneurship requires sacrifice.
09:40So being here is purely a business decision?
09:42Exactly.
09:43Nothing to do with me.
09:44No.
09:45I mean, okay.
09:46Okay.
09:47Okay.
09:48Well, maybe I had you in the back of my mind.
09:50Like, way, way back there, though.
09:52In the back of my mind, like, way, way back there, though.
10:01Look, I made a lot of promises in the past,
10:06promises that I didn't keep,
10:08and this is different, all right?
10:12This one is going to come together.
10:15It has to, because I miss you.
10:22Oh, you don't worry about your reign anymore?
10:30Yeah, Martin.
10:33You had a lot of good intentions in our marriage.
10:35We're still married.
10:36But while I was waiting for you to follow through on those intentions,
10:39my life was passing me by.
10:41Okay, I get it. I really do.
10:43Look, I'm glad you're excited about your business,
10:46but I did not come here to be pitched on our future.
10:52This, this, this was a mistake.
10:55No.
10:55Sorry.
10:57Joyce.
10:58Hey, good luck with the business.
10:59Joyce, please. Come on, let's just eat.
11:02Joyce.
11:08Yeah, she's right.
11:10You know, I said we'd get out of the Midwest.
11:12I said we'd have kids.
11:13I just kept pushing it off.
11:15Well, the bright side is now you can spend more time on our business.
11:18Right, yeah.
11:19And hey, speaking of, put on your best fake smile.
11:22We've got a room full of potential buyers to impress.
11:25I'm really in the mood to network.
11:26I know, buddy. I know.
11:28Joyce was...
11:29Joyce, you loved her, but people do move on.
11:33I don't want to move on, Vicky.
11:34I know, and I don't want to do this.
11:37Ow, ow, stop.
11:39Oh, Jesus.
11:42Fuck.
11:42Sorry, I thought that would have come off as your...
11:44But the point is, what would you have said to me if I was in the same position?
11:47You would say you get one chance to make a first impression,
11:51so stop fucking crying about your ex-wife.
11:53You're bumming everybody the fuck out, pussy.
11:55Not really my tone, but, uh, sure.
11:58There we go.
11:59Hello, good sir.
12:01Hi.
12:01What do you have that'll make us look wealthy and successful?
12:05Um...
12:05Ooh.
12:07How much?
12:08$7.50.
12:09We'll take it.
12:10Vicky, we can't afford that.
12:12No, but it'll look good to people if it seems like we can.
12:14For our image, right?
12:15Absolutely not.
12:17Please, please, please, please.
12:17No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
12:20So you want it or...
12:21Yes, yes, yes, we do.
12:22Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
12:25Yes, we do.
12:26Okay.
12:27That's my big, beautiful brother.
12:29Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
12:31And I know exactly who I'm going to impress.
12:34I'll save you some.
12:35Yeah, sure.
12:40Ugh.
12:40Looks like you two are doing well.
12:43Uh, yeah, yeah, very well.
12:46What do you do?
12:47Wait, actually, let me guess.
12:50You are in tanning products.
12:56How'd you know that?
12:58I just go to a lot of beauty conventions.
13:01Oh, well, you're chosen, yes.
13:06I'm Susie.
13:08I'm Martin.
13:08Hi.
13:09So, how long have you been in the painting people orange racket?
13:15Well, about a year.
13:17Uh-huh.
13:18And I spent the previous 20 as a financial risk analyst.
13:21Right.
13:23And why'd you give that up?
13:25Well, you know, I decided I wasn't going to let the life I wanted get away from me.
13:29Well, that is some truly sentimental bullshit.
13:36Oh, I'm sorry.
13:37I've been listening to too much self-help lately.
13:41No, seriously.
13:42You know, not everyone has the courage to take that kind of risk.
13:47Well, how about you?
13:49You, uh, living the life you want to live?
13:51Fuckin' hell, Martin.
13:54Who am I asking the big questions?
13:57Oh, sorry.
13:59Well, okay.
14:00Um, if you want the truth, then...
14:03Maybe not.
14:06No.
14:07Do you see your girlfriend's having fun?
14:16No, it's my sister.
14:18And, yeah, this is her Nirvana.
14:22Not yours?
14:23Oh, God, no.
14:24No.
14:25Well, I did hear a rumor that there's a wine bar within walking distance.
14:31I don't think I...
14:33Okay.
14:34Sorry.
14:35I'm sorry.
14:36Sorry, that was way too forward.
14:38I just...
14:39I don't know anybody in town and...
14:41No, no, no, no.
14:42It's just...
14:42No, we have this big presentation.
14:44It's okay.
14:45I get it.
14:46Look, it was really nice to, um, to meet you.
14:48I hope it goes really well.
14:52Sorry.
14:52Sorry.
14:57You know, one glass of mine...
15:02Not gonna kill anybody, right?
15:05Cheers to that.
15:07Cheers.
15:08Cheers.
15:09Cheers.
15:09Is this your first time in Australia?
15:11This is my first time here.
15:13Wow.
15:13Yeah.
15:13Welcome.
15:15So, um, this spray tan of yours, is it any good?
15:18I won't.
15:19Why don't you be the judge?
15:21Here we go.
15:21Here.
15:22All right.
15:23It's good.
15:23It's cute.
15:24It's bright.
15:25Transform.
15:27And the pitch begins now.
15:32May I?
15:39Yes.
15:40And?
15:40Yes.
15:42All right.
15:42All right.
15:42Everyday life can take its toll.
15:54Work, bills, responsibility.
15:57They can make you feel colorless, right?
16:00But at Tansform, we believe you don't have to live that way.
16:04With a spray tan that you can use anytime, anywhere.
16:11Transform with Tansform.
16:14And be the best version of yourself.
16:18It's good.
16:25Oh, my God.
16:27It's really fucking good.
16:28It'sんな.
16:39Wow, my God.
16:42...
16:44...
16:46What?
16:48Oh, hi.
17:02Hi.
17:06Mustn't that go kind of crazy?
17:09Yeah, looks that way.
17:14Hmm.
17:18You want to get some breakfast?
17:27Martin.
17:30Breakfast?
17:32Uh, yeah. Yeah, sure.
17:38You okay?
17:40Yeah, yeah, yeah.
17:42I just normally don't drink that much.
17:44Oh, welcome to Australia.
17:48I mean, actually, you know, look, it says last night was...
17:53Yeah, uh, about that.
17:59Just, if you could press play.
18:10Filmed us.
18:11Everything's going to be fine. You've just got to do what he says, okay?
18:13But who says?
18:19Morning, Martin.
18:22Sorry, I think maybe I'm confused.
18:25Well, what you think's happening is exactly what's happening.
18:32I think I should leave you.
18:33I just got here.
18:38Is it out?
18:43Oh.
18:44It's going to be $10,000.
18:48What?
18:50$10,000, Martin.
18:51Well, we're going to throw this up on the interwebs where your wife, kids, heck, even your pre-scarver looks, eh?
19:02You're blackmailing me?
19:03I like to think of it as preserving your privacy at market costs.
19:09I mean, who says I'm married?
19:11Spotting these is her speciality, mate.
19:22Sir, I don't have $10,000.
19:26What was it they got up at the bar?
19:28Rich prick rum.
19:30The whole bottle.
19:31The whole bottle of rich prick rum.
19:34That was my sister.
19:36So you got till 10 tonight, okay?
19:38Look, you don't understand.
19:40I really don't have that kind of money.
19:42See that?
19:45Six hours in the chair.
19:47Skin's so thin it feels like someone's jackhammering at your nerves.
19:52But I didn't move.
19:53No.
19:54Because I want everyone to know I love my sister.
19:57And I'd do anything for her.
20:00Okay.
20:02If you love your wife, Martin,
20:06you'll get the cash.
20:08Yeah.
20:09That was really good.
20:29So this whole thing...
20:32Just pay him, Martin.
20:34Martin.
20:34Hello.
20:47Yes, yes, yes, yes.
20:50Yeah, you did.
20:51Oh my God, I'm so proud of you.
20:54Oh, and I found a model for the presentation.
20:57She is very talented.
20:59Actually, I took a few nudes.
21:00Do you want to see?
21:00Oh, yeah.
21:02Here.
21:07Hey, you okay?
21:09Look who a pail.
21:13Well, lucky for you, your marriage is over.
21:15Otherwise, this would be a problem.
21:16No, it's not over.
21:18Joyce texted me this morning.
21:19She wants to talk.
21:20Oh, okay.
21:21You're willing to get mixed up with a couple shakedown artists because Joyce wants to talk?
21:26Mickey, please.
21:28Sorry.
21:29It's fine.
21:29I mean, lucky for you, this is my strong suit.
21:32Extortion?
21:33Remember how I used to run dope for Uncle Rick down in Mexico?
21:36Uncle Rick sells dope?
21:38It was actually pretty good stuff.
21:39But when you're driving desert roads, there's always this chance that you could run into bandits.
21:43And if you do, you have two options.
21:45You can either stop and let them take what is yours, or you accelerate and force them to move.
21:52We're not accelerating.
21:53Look, we got enough cash in our account.
21:55We're just going to pay them off.
21:56Right.
21:57Uh.
21:59What?
21:59Okay.
22:01The organizer of the event, this friend of mine, she's not really a friend of mine, but we kind of became friends.
22:08She offered us the biggest booth at the event, and it was really expensive.
22:14And what are you trying to say, Vicky?
22:17We have $812 left in our business account.
22:21Fuck!
22:22Damn.
22:23Fuck!
22:23Okay.
22:24It's going to be okay.
22:25Trust me.
22:25Trust me.
22:26I'm going to lose my wife, and my house, and my business.
22:31Perfect!
22:32You'll still have me, though.
22:34No, you'll be gone, too, because I will have killed you.
22:50Perfect!
22:51Missed.
23:00Dave.
23:01Turn the hole.
23:02Fuck!
23:12Big fella?
23:13How'd you go for me, Terry?
23:14Nothing.
23:15This is a degenerate gambler.
23:16You squeeze him?
23:17Wouldn't have made a difference.
23:18Took him out his word, did you?
23:26I made a judgement call.
23:28Said I'll come back in a couple of days.
23:29Because that's what I'm paying you for, right?
23:31Your judgement.
23:32Well, you want me to go back there, kick him in the guts, and hope you think shit's fucking gold coins out?
23:37You want that?
23:41Sorry, mate.
23:42You ex-footy players all got memory problems, right?
23:44Because it seems like you forgot who I am.
23:46I know who you are, mate.
23:48Memory's fine.
23:50Come here.
23:51Come on.
23:52Where is she?
24:15She'll be here.
24:17Vicky!
24:17Hello, gorgeous.
24:19Hi.
24:20So, what do you think?
24:22Oh, my God.
24:23If I could put that in a can and sell it, I'd be a goddamn millionaire.
24:29Crystal, this is Martin.
24:30Martin, Crystal, our model.
24:32Hi.
24:32Hi.
24:33You look, uh, tan.
24:37No, I mean that this is a spray tanning demo, all right?
24:41And the point is to show buyers how a product changes your skin color, and we can't really do that if it looks like you've been slow roasting in the fucking outback.
24:50Okay, you know what?
24:50Give me a second.
24:51I'm going to talk to you for a second.
24:52Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
24:53I know you're stressed out about your fucking fuck tape or whatever, but you cannot verbally assault our employees, okay?
25:00Well, you have darker shade.
25:01Just fucking get it together.
25:03Jesus Christ.
25:05Hey, sorry.
25:06It's okay.
25:10Shit's getting worse.
25:12Fucking headaches, blackouts, mood swings, sensitivity to fucking light.
25:19Sorry, mate.
25:21You have any, um, memory issues, erectile dysfunction?
25:25Oh, let's skip the part where you think you've got an active medical license.
25:31Just give me where I come from.
25:32Sorry, mate.
25:33Just, uh, trying to help.
25:43I need 60.
25:44Mate, this is only going to get you 15.
25:46I'll have the rest by Friday.
25:47Mate, you know that's not how it works.
25:49I need 60.
25:50I'll break your fucking dick.
25:52Okay.
25:52Yeah, you want a call?
25:54Let go of me or we're never going to do business again.
25:57Yeah.
26:01Okay, good.
26:05Just, um, just give him 15 and throw in a couple of extra for professional courtesy.
26:15Ladies and gentlemen, you'll get everything you've done out of Sprite Hand.
26:18Because our picks, we have 10 small.
26:22A self-tanner, full-plated, and the chelps of the Pinder.
26:26Climb in the anti-hail elements of the firm with its natural tanning companies.
26:3010 small special drive, 50% faster, and last 90% longer.
26:35And the competition happens.
26:36And the podcast is coming from the...
26:37...
26:37...
26:38...
26:39Okay.
26:40Fuck.
26:41All right.
26:42You ready?
26:43You ready?
26:44You with me?
26:45Let's do this.
26:46Okay.
26:47Here we go.
26:48Here we go.
26:49Hello, Sydney!
26:50I'm Vicky Marvin, and this is my brother, and this is my brother, and this is my brother,
27:08and this is my brother.
27:09It's okay.
27:10Whoopsie doopsie.
27:11Get up.
27:12Get up.
27:13Get up.
27:14Woo!
27:15The costume was a stupid purchase.
27:33Can you just try to be a little positive?
27:35I fainted in front of our entire industry.
27:38I'm being blackmailed.
27:40Jesus!
27:41And now our inventory is exploding.
27:44I think it's just the heat.
27:46It's winter.
27:48Okay, listen.
27:49Here's what we're gonna do.
27:50We're not gonna pay them, okay?
27:52We are going to floor it at these assholes, and then we are going to explode on them.
28:00No.
28:01We're not gonna do it your way.
28:03Okay, how do you want to do it then?
28:05You're looking for a personal loan?
28:08Yes.
28:09Or maybe a business loan, depending on certain factors.
28:13What factors?
28:14Well, whatever factors put ten grand in our pocket today, Phil.
28:19What collateral do you have?
28:21Well, he has a really nice three-bedroom, two-bathroom house back in the USA.
28:24Ever heard of it?
28:26Well, I've already taken out a mortgage on my half of the house.
28:29I'm not using my wife's equity.
28:31Psst.
28:32Phil, come here.
28:34Theoretically, between you and me, if we can get this guy to stop being such a B-word,
28:38how quickly can we get that loan?
28:41Typically, mortgage approvals take about seven days.
28:43Okay, seven days isn't gonna work.
28:45Do better.
28:46Can I ask what the loan is for?
28:49Sure.
28:50Yeah, it's, uh...
28:51We, uh...
28:52He's being blackmailed.
28:59No, but he really is.
29:01We need you to do us a solid.
29:06That loan would have floated us for months.
29:08It's Joyce's house, too.
29:09Joyce hasn't lived there in a year.
29:11Well, she's still my wife.
29:12Okay, well, if she was still your wife,
29:13you wouldn't have forced us to cross the Pacific to win her back.
29:16The reason we don't have money is because you spent it on a booth for a company ten times our size.
29:21Oh, so this is my fault,
29:22because I don't really remember taking my brother's dick out and shoving it in the nearest flim-flammer.
29:26Okay, I've destroyed my life. Noted.
29:28Maybe your life needed destroying.
29:31What's that mean?
29:32Were you and Joyce really that happy?
29:34Because I don't think that you were.
29:36And last night, when you were at the bar with that hot-ass blackmailer,
29:40Martin, that is the happiest I have seen you in years.
29:45What? Where are you going?
29:47Martin?
29:48Fix this on my own.
29:57Oh, look, it's Phil.
29:59The corporate cog who destroyed my business.
30:02I'm sorry.
30:03Great.
30:05My brother's going to have his legs broken,
30:07but I'm sure the bones will heal quicker when I regale him with your one-word apology.
30:12I get it.
30:15You think I like this job?
30:19My mum won't even talk to me.
30:20She thinks I take people's houses away.
30:22Really?
30:23She doesn't talk to you?
30:25No.
30:26It sucks.
30:27Yeah.
30:28My mum kicked me out just for selling some furniture that I honestly didn't think she was using anymore.
30:36And I made bank.
30:37It's like, why don't you support me?
30:39Yeah.
30:40I mean, it sounds like you sold her furniture, but I get it.
30:43It's like, mums, you know?
30:46Yeah.
30:47Mums.
30:48God.
30:49I get it.
30:50Hey.
30:57I don't normally do this.
31:02He helps people on the bank account, if you know what I mean.
31:05I do know what you mean.
31:08Grab a quick drink.
31:09Nope.
31:10Okay.
31:11Fair enough.
31:12Yeah.
31:20Stem cell therapy has been shown to repair the damage caused by repeating headaches.
31:26By using a patient's own mesenchymal stem cells to support the recovery of the dramatic
31:31osteoporosis, strain damage, and excess inflammation.
31:35Hey.
31:36I'm, uh, I'm Vicky from, from the phone.
31:40What do you want?
31:41I'm, I'm looking for a loan.
31:44Don't do loans anymore.
31:46Well, that's a shame.
31:48What do you do now?
31:53Help, people.
31:54What, like, if I need a ride to the airport on a Friday night, things like that?
32:01Yeah.
32:02If you've got the money, I'll get the job done.
32:05Yeah.
32:06Well, I'm not exactly flush with cash right now, hence the need for the loan.
32:13What's the loan for?
32:18Just your typical black male sex tape situation.
32:23Of course.
32:24Yeah.
32:25There could be some other options.
32:28How do you feel about your second amendment?
32:30See the photo?
32:31Yep.
32:32Kind of felt bad for this one.
32:33You had a thing for this guy?
32:34No.
32:35Because it sounds like you don't want to take his money.
32:36Maybe I'm just tired of blackmailing broke tourists.
32:37Fuck threats with your idea.
32:38Fuck it.
32:39Extortion operations.
32:40And I didn't think that I'd be doing them forever.
32:41So what?
32:42Gonna transition to dolphin train, are we?
32:43Neurosurgeon.
32:44Yeah.
32:45Yeah.
32:46Yeah.
32:47Yeah.
32:48Yeah.
32:49Yeah.
32:50Yeah.
32:51Yeah.
32:52Yeah.
32:53Yeah.
32:54Yeah.
32:55Yeah.
32:56Yeah.
32:57Yeah.
32:58Yeah.
32:59Yeah.
33:00And I didn't think that I'd be doing them forever.
33:01So what?
33:02Gonna transition to dolphin train, are we?
33:05Neurosurgeon.
33:06An astronaut.
33:12Mind picking those up for me, please?
33:24What the fuck?
33:25Hang on.
33:26Cash.
33:27Don't be rusty.
33:28Please don't touch me.
33:30Stand fucking still.
33:42You don't get to be anyone
33:44but who I tell you to be.
33:46Understand?
33:48Yeah.
33:50Good girl.
33:52Can you pick this up for me please?
33:58Hey, you've reached Joyce.
34:00Please leave a message.
34:02Hey Joyce! I got your text.
34:04I'm really looking forward to talking.
34:06In the meantime,
34:08Vicki and I, we have a
34:10big opportunity,
34:12but we're just kind of putting the pieces together
34:14right now, so...
34:24If you're happy with your message,
34:26press one.
34:28To delete, press two.
34:32You traded the company van?
34:34For the money we need.
34:35You need, not me being blackmailed.
34:37This time.
34:38And what is this piece of shit?
34:40No, it was a good deal.
34:42I'd do it again.
34:43Oh, oh jeez.
34:44That's him.
34:45That's him.
34:46What'd I do?
34:47Answer the phone.
34:48Show this fucker who's boss.
34:50Okay, okay, okay.
34:52Hello?
34:54I have the money.
34:58Here at the motel?
35:00No, no, no, no.
35:01Somewhere public.
35:02Yep.
35:03Afraid I have to insist on that.
35:07You're right.
35:08Yeah, no, you're right.
35:09Here does work.
35:10Yeah, sure.
35:12One hour?
35:13Okay.
35:14Looking forward to it.
35:15Nervous?
35:16No, no, no, no.
35:17Not even in the slightest.
35:19Are you?
35:23Well, that may...
35:24Oh, yeah.
35:26Bad job.
35:27Really bad job.
35:28Yeah, I didn't feel good about it either.
35:41Hi.
35:42Hello, man.
35:43Come on in.
35:44So how is everyone?
35:51Right here.
35:55This is the end of it.
35:57Here it is.
35:58What up?
35:59Where's the sex tape?
36:00Who are you?
36:01I'm the sister.
36:02And we're not gonna pay you shit until you delete the fucking video from the cloud or whatever.
36:08Well, money first.
36:10Then I press delete.
36:12Not happening.
36:13Oh, I'm just gonna send it then.
36:16Okay.
36:17Money first.
36:18Money first.
36:19No.
36:20Vicki.
36:21Dammit.
36:22Here you go.
36:23It's all there.
36:24What?
36:25What?
36:26What?
36:27I was starting to think this isn't enough.
36:29If you can get 10 grand in a day, you get 20 tomorrow.
36:33Cash, come on.
36:34Let's just get out of here.
36:35You know why this works.
36:36You know why this works?
36:37I'll tell you.
36:38Everyone wants to believe they're the most interesting person in the room.
36:39Because no one wants to admit they're just another everyday shitbag.
36:40But here's the thing.
36:41If you get tape fucking a woman who isn't your wife, then it doesn't matter who you think
36:45you are.
36:46You're still gonna have to pay the asking price.
36:47And now that price is 20.
36:48Do you get a fucking gun?
36:49I'm accelerating.
36:50You sure about this?
36:51Yeah, I'm American, of course.
36:52I'm fucking sure about this.
36:53... of course I'm fucking sure about this...
36:54if you get taped fucking a woman who isn't your wife
36:58then it doesn't matter who you think you are
37:01you're still going to have to pay the asking price
37:04and now that price is 20
37:07I don't think so
37:10you got a fucking gun?
37:12I'm accelerating
37:12you sure about this?
37:14yeah I'm American of course I'm fucking sure about this
37:16give me your phone now
37:19now
37:20tell me your password
37:22one
37:25one
37:27one
37:28what are they all ones?
37:32two
37:32okay
37:34I'm kind of having a hard time adding the password in
37:38also pointing
37:39sure
37:40don't move
37:43I'm not familiar with this OS
37:46lady will you help him delete the fucking sex tape
37:49surprise
37:50I have one too
37:52give me a gun
37:54please
37:55I'm getting a fucking gun
37:58okay listen
38:01if you want 20 I can give you 20
38:03alright I'll write you a check
38:04I'll write you a check
38:05we don't really do checks here Martin
38:07stop moving
38:09shut that thing up
38:12now please
38:15sorry
38:16sorry it's just
38:19some shit's just to a run okay
38:25okay
38:25please
38:26please don't
38:27don't
38:28hello
38:29this must be Mrs. Marl
38:30please don't
38:31sorry
38:46hang up
39:10hang up
39:11hang up
39:13is he
39:27yeah
39:29maybe we have to call
39:31an ambulance
39:32no no no no
39:32we're in a foreign country
39:34and
39:35and we just killed somebody
39:37we're not gonna call an ambulance
39:39what do we do?
39:43we've gotta get rid of him
39:44okay
39:46I think I know somebody
39:48so you thinking like an acid bath situation or
40:05I'm thinking you guys are fucked
40:08you know how she is?
40:15yep
40:15well you know what I'm getting the fuck out of here then
40:19would ten thousand dollars change your mind?
40:27we need a big fucking bag
40:30wait
40:42wait wait
40:42yep
40:43okay
40:44let's go
40:44oh my god
40:45wait
40:46oh my god
40:47oh my god
40:47okay
40:49oh my god
40:49yeah
40:49it's good on your ride mine
40:55I think so
40:57good
40:58pop the boot
40:59okay
41:00hold on
41:01we're taking my car?
41:03yeah
41:03your body
41:04your car
41:05I suppose that's terrible
41:07it's all the boxes
41:11it looks like he's gonna have to ride up front
41:13hey
41:25no no no
41:25it's his birthday
41:28pussy can't handle his tequila
41:30oh fuck
41:36okay
41:36okay
41:37okay
41:37where are we going?
41:41we feel like
41:41pizza
41:43burgers
41:44fries
41:44oh fuck
41:45I could do burgers
41:46if
41:46you kidding
41:47if I come with me
41:48okay
41:49yeah no
41:50we're just gonna go get rid of the body
41:51yeah
41:51no
41:51let's do it
41:52let's do it
41:53let's do it
41:54hey let's go
41:55Jesus Christ
42:14ready
42:19three
42:20two
42:21up
42:21keep going
42:23I turn
42:24there
42:24a little bit more
42:26right here
42:27get a leg
42:30get a leg
42:30get a leg
42:31pull it
42:31oh
42:32oh
42:33Jesus
42:35we're doing this
42:43let's drop the dead fuck
42:45come on
42:45let's go
42:46fuck's sake
43:03help me with things
43:04hey
43:06that ain't the cleaner
43:28dead care
43:29yes yes
43:30I'll polish the leaves
43:32make them green again
43:34shake out the trees
43:35chase in again
43:37spring cleaning
43:38getting ready for love
43:40ha
43:40ha
43:41ha
43:42sluts off to wintry flowers
43:44wash them out with April showers
43:47go for them with fragrant flowers
43:49shine up the moon above
43:52cause you and I
43:54have a rosny home under the sky
43:57like these who spray cleanin'
44:00get ready for love
44:02yes yes
44:04yeah that's the real
44:07crema
44:07you wanna stick that in here
44:10I think they're happy
44:14the people in the glass
44:18I hope so
44:21Okay, bud, I'm just going to think back on you.
44:34Psychologically, you're going to go through some tough shit.
44:37You're going to ride that fucking wave.
44:39Take some Xanax, do some yoga.
44:42Whatever it fucking takes to keep your mouth shut.
44:46Especially if the fucking cops come.
44:49What about that tattoo lady?
44:50She finds out we're already dead.
44:53You don't know, Cash.
44:55Fish only gets caught if she opens up her fucking mouth.
45:00I feel like you're, like, singling me out on this.
45:03I feel like you're the one who's going to fuck this all up.
45:06And I don't want to kill you.
45:07Jesus Christ, you're obsessed with me.
45:10Okay, okay, I'll be good. Here.
45:13Sorry.
45:17And if you see me again,
45:18you fucked up.
45:22Okay.
45:24Well, on that note,
45:25I am going to take some me time
45:27and shower off his blood.
45:31Yeah.
45:32Uh,
45:33I should...
45:35Oh, okay.
45:38You're going to be okay?
45:39Jesus, Martin.
45:44You're really asking the big questions.
45:54Ooh, good news.
45:56I found two seats on a flight home tonight.
46:00Bad news, all that's left is middle seats.
46:02I fucked up everything, didn't I?
46:04Yeah, you kind of did.
46:08But I've fucked up things before, too.
46:11You always get another chance.
46:13Nah, I don't think there's any coming back from this.
46:15What the hell?
46:23What?
46:24What?
46:25Ah!
46:26If it isn't the spray tan siblings.
46:29Sorry to turn up unannounced.
46:31I got the, um, conference people
46:32to give me your motel address.
46:35Why?
46:37Uh, do you mind if I...
46:38Do you mind if I just...
46:39Uh, uh, sure, I guess.
46:41Sure.
46:42That's nice.
46:42Have a seat.
46:43Uh, sorry.
46:47I know it's early.
46:48So, uh, how can we help you?
46:52I couldn't get your pitch out of my mind.
46:54It's not every day a seller reaches me like that.
46:57So I had a word to marketing.
46:59They love the whole anti-aging USP.
47:02Plus the name, Tansform.
47:04It just...
47:05It just makes reinvention sound so easy.
47:08And that shit sells.
47:09Pardon the language.
47:10Really?
47:11Yeah, so, uh, I'm thinking small trial.
47:15Uh, what do we say?
47:162,000 cans.
47:17Put it in a few stores.
47:19See if you can get the word out.
47:20You hit those numbers.
47:22We can expand.
47:23I mean, it sounds amazing, but we're actually...
47:25We'll, we'll do it.
47:27Oh, great.
47:29Great.
47:31So, um, just call the office and set it up.
47:34Great.
47:35Great.
47:35Can you go now?
47:41I'm respectfully.
47:41Yeah, yeah, yeah.
47:45Stuff to do.
47:46Yeah.
47:47Sorry, I know it's really early.
47:53Bro.
47:56You can see that too, right?
47:57A hundred bucks says you can't hit that.
48:02You're on.
48:08What the fuck?
48:09I think we should stay.
48:11We just fed a corpse to a reptile.
48:14Close.
48:21There's nobody.
48:22Nothing ties us to cash.
48:24I mean, why would anyone suspect us?
48:26Why would we want to take that risk?
48:28If we quit, the business is done, all right?
48:30You go back to being yelled at by retail managers,
48:33I lose choice.
48:39Last one, make it count.
48:41Okay, we don't, we don't even have 2,000 cans.
48:43Well, make them, right?
48:45What'd you say when you first came to me
48:46with the idea for Tansform?
48:48I don't know.
48:49You said sometimes you gotta get arrested
48:51for selling stolen beauty products
48:54to realize what you want in life.
48:55I said that?
48:56You did.
48:57I mean, I'm paraphrasing a little bit.
48:58But look, you're exactly right.
49:01Everything we want is right here in Sydney.
49:04My wife will...
49:05Our business.
49:07I do really love being co-CEOs with you.
49:13I know that what happened last night
49:23seemed like the end of our road.
49:25But what if it was the beginning?
49:26I know that what happened last night.
49:27I know that what happened last night.
49:28I know that what happened last night.
49:28I know that what happened last night.
49:29I know that what happened last night.
49:29I know that what happened last night.
49:30I know that what happened last night.
49:31I know that what happened last night.
49:32I know that what happened last night.
49:33I know that what happened last night.
49:34I know that what happened last night.
49:35I know that what happened last night.
49:36I know that what happened last night.
49:37I know that what happened last night.
49:38I know that what happened last night.
49:39I know that what happened last night.
49:40I know that what happened last night.
49:41I know that what happened last night.
49:42I know that what happened last night.
49:43I know that happened last night.
49:44I know that happened last night.
49:45I know that happened last night.
49:46Are you sure?
50:01I think as long as we stick together, we'll always be okay.
50:16I'm not your fucking friend, I'm trying to be low, I'm trying to feel it, I'm trying
50:34to be it.
50:35This is not my problem, I'm not your fucking friend, this is not my problem, I'm not your
50:50fucking friend.
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