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How to Ruin Love Season 2 Episode 1
# How to Ruin Love
#RealityInsightHub
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# How to Ruin Love
#RealityInsightHub
🎞 Please subscribe to our official channel to watch the full movie for free, as soon as possible. ❤️Reality Insight Hub❤️
👉 Official Channel:
👉 THANK YOU ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
Category
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FunTranscript
00:00Bratz
00:02Nebo Bratz
00:04Nebo Focus
00:06Nebo To N
00:18What the hell is going on here?
00:44You want to make me late for my nephew's wedding?
00:46And what does that have to do with us?
00:48Watch out, you can't talk to me like that just because he's dressed all the same.
00:51What's going on?
00:52Oh my God, what's going on?
00:56Oh, yeah, who's this woman?
00:57This woman, do you know her?
00:58There go my cows.
01:01What cows?
01:05KAHISO!
01:09Goodness, kahiso.
01:12Kahiso?
01:13Kahiso!
01:14Kahiso!
01:15I think you should run.
01:16I'm going to destroy you, you little mosquito!
01:20Come on, run!
01:23Run!
01:28What have you done?
01:40Townships and rural areas present an untapped and overlooked market for grocery delivery.
02:05By combining my vast experience in delivery network with local small-scale supermarkets,
02:10my delivery company, Dashd, will deliver on promise and product.
02:24I'm offering 10% equity for 2 million rand investment.
02:29Thank you guys for your time.
02:30I was thinking I'd give him a chance.
02:37Oh, touch.
02:38Yeah, I see a lot of potential here.
02:40I like the carcinomic element to it.
02:42Wait, we do?
02:43Yeah, this is the same guy that walked away from Deretremillion.
02:49Even my man Mayweather will tell you it doesn't jab.
02:52Bad investment, period.
02:53Well, I really love him, darling.
02:54Huh?
02:55Me too.
02:56The boy's got potential, boo.
02:57I'm serious.
02:59What are you doing?
03:01You know what?
03:03Kahiso?
03:04Congratulations, you're going through.
03:10Yes!
03:14Well done!
03:15Thank you guys so much.
03:16Thank you so much.
03:19The judges agree.
03:21Kahiso Paturi has shown he's got what it takes to get to the finale.
03:26Will he start the festive season on a high?
03:29Or will it be a terrible December for him?
03:32If Naledia Africa Solutions wins the cash prize of two million rand,
03:38find out next week on The Capitalist.
03:42Cut!
03:43Thank you!
03:44Thank you!
03:45Go, baby!
03:46My guy.
03:47I can't believe I'm paying you.
03:47Um, I'm wrapped.
03:48I don't get paid over time, yeah?
03:51How about a picture, brother?
03:55Hey, babe.
03:57I knew you'd kill it.
03:59A few phrasing issues here and there?
04:01You know, you forgot to mention that your product stands out.
04:04Yeah.
04:04Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
04:06I think you should have just let your girl peach.
04:08Period.
04:12Whatever.
04:14Let's go.
04:15Finalist.
04:16Hey?
04:16I'm so scared.
04:18Well, it didn't show.
04:20Dad, I've great news.
04:22Guess what?
04:23My child?
04:25The Leboa Komo 10 is coming after all.
04:2710!
04:29And then?
04:29Oh, but, Dad, come on.
04:33Come on, please slow down.
04:34You know what?
04:34That's too much.
04:35It's too much now.
04:36You know catering is per head, right?
04:38You know what, Kakiso?
04:39You are the ones who are doing your own thing.
04:42Okay, fine.
04:43That's fine, Dad.
04:44But no more.
04:45Even if it's your cousins, mothers, grandchildren, what, what.
04:48I don't care.
04:49Actually...
04:49Enough.
04:50Your dad wants to add more people, right?
04:55It's fine.
04:56My dad will pay.
04:57Maybe your dad's paid for so much already, no?
04:59Well, I don't want them thinking.
05:01I don't want them at my wedding.
05:02You mean our wedding.
05:04It's our wedding, right?
05:06Right?
05:06It's...
05:07Zola gets on a hello.
05:09We got it!
05:14It's my agent.
05:15We got the Netflix wedding special!
05:18Love you!
05:21Yeah?
05:21Tell me more.
05:22This is gonna be huge!
05:33I'm sure we can work it out.
05:39She's not gonna make it.
05:45Still can't find her passport.
05:47I don't know why I might have had to go to Dubai in the first place.
05:50Babe, come on.
05:50I mean, she got a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to be a trainer at a world-renowned gym for,
05:55like, a lot of dollars.
05:56Sure, I get that, but it's my wedding.
06:00And this reality special?
06:02I mean, how am I supposed to have a wedding without a maid of honor?
06:05How am I going to do this without her?
06:13Hey, are you okay?
06:15Yeah.
06:15You seem more caught up about Amalfe not being here than me.
06:18Uh, it's nothing, babe.
06:19Let's continue the walkthrough.
06:20No, hey!
06:21We promised no more secrets.
06:23Yeah, uh...
06:24It's the debts.
06:28Babe, the costs just keep rising.
06:30I'm already overextended, and now there's a whole Netflix special on top of it.
06:33I...
06:33I don't want to start our marriage being broke.
06:35You need to stop worrying about the money, okay?
06:37My dad's there.
06:38He'll help.
06:39Is your father going to pay for everything after we're married?
06:41I mean, what will happen if I don't win the capitalist?
06:44I don't think T-Botouch likes me.
06:48I'm just trying to give you the best because you deserve the best.
06:52You're the best thing that's ever happened to me.
06:55We'll be fine.
06:56Never mind winning the capitalist, my love.
07:00We'll still have our dreamy, intimate wedding.
07:03With the Lebo Wako Muten.
07:07The special only means that the rest of the world gets to see how much I love you.
07:12And we get to train for the right reasons this time.
07:15Wow, because I can't take a repeat of Durban.
07:17Please.
07:17Wait, did I tell you that Ndando has refused to sing at our wedding?
07:24Yeah.
07:25At this point, I think you and I need a safe word for when one of us starts to spiral.
07:29Yeah.
07:33Ndando.
07:37Oh, man.
07:39Okay, so this is where our arch will be, right?
07:41Yes.
07:42Only better, picture white flowers and candles everywhere.
07:47And hopefully no rain clouds.
07:50Let's hope.
07:52So do you, Zoleka Winifred Zana.
07:55Wow.
07:56Take me, Gaffiso Edward Patsudi, to be a lawfully wedded husband.
08:00I do.
08:01You do?
08:02Mm-hmm.
08:02Can I kiss the bride?
08:03Mm-hmm.
08:04Sorry, you guys.
08:26Quincy's putting up such a fuss tonight, and Swoo's the only one who can put him down.
08:30Anyway, let's talk about the Netflix special.
08:35This is huge, girl.
08:37I'm gonna have to get you in touch with my wedding planner.
08:40Yeah.
08:41Go big or go home.
08:42Didn't you guys have a small, intimate wedding in a garden?
08:45You're a guy.
08:47You don't get it.
08:48This is Netflix, babe.
08:50Besides, Twitter already cooked you guys last year.
08:53You don't want to get roasted again, do you?
08:55Yeah.
08:56I don't want my wedding trading for the wrong reasons.
08:58Exactly.
08:58Well, yeah, that's why we have a plan, remember?
09:02A plan?
09:02A dreamy, intimate wedding.
09:05This is...
09:06This is about us.
09:07And over 190 countries.
09:09What?
09:10She's TV's favorite villain.
09:12A whole celebrity.
09:13The whole country's gonna be watching.
09:15You have to give the people what they want.
09:17Hey?
09:18Mm?
09:19Did you hear that?
09:19I think Swoo's calling you.
09:20I think you should go get him.
09:21Tell him to bring Princey, and we can all eat together at once.
09:24You know what?
09:25I think I'll give the wedding planner a call first thing tomorrow.
09:28Oh, I've got Precious to plan on speed dial, so...
09:30Don't know.
09:30Speed.
09:31Hey?
09:32Mm-hmm.
09:33Babe, this is the biggest streaming platform in the world.
09:36Synth.
09:37Thanks.
09:38Don't know.
09:39Don't know.
09:40Don't know.
09:40Trust me, my darling.
09:42This is...
09:43This is a good thing.
09:44Huh?
09:44Everything's gonna be okay.
09:46You know what?
09:46I'm going to give Precious a call right now.
09:48Yeah, do that.
09:49She actually gets quite busy, so the sooner the better.
09:52Yeah?
09:52Yeah.
09:52Yeah, it's gonna be great.
09:56This is why I don't like double dates, you see?
09:59What's his problem?
10:01Now it's about Precious and whatever else.
10:03Synth.
10:04Synth.
10:05Synth.
10:05Synth.
10:06Synth.
10:06Synth.
10:07Synth.
10:07Synth.
10:08Synth.
10:09Synth.
10:09Synth.
10:10Synth.
10:11Synth.
10:11Synth.
10:12Synth.
10:12Synth.
10:13Synth.
10:13Synth.
10:14Synth.
10:15Synth.
10:15Synth.
10:16You want some water?
10:16Synth.
10:17Synth.
10:18Synth.
10:18Synth.
10:20No.
10:25The only thing I need more of is you.
10:29Synth.
10:30Hahaha.
10:31Ooo, hey, hey, hey.
10:32Brake's on.
10:34No, wait.
10:34Where are you going?
10:35I'm going home.
10:36Can you blame me?
10:37You're a hot mess.
10:38You're the reason why.
10:40The second location is a disappointment.
10:41Oh, what do you mean?
10:45Shit.
10:46What?
10:47who is my wife you have a wife yes why did you bring me the idea of a wife
10:55it's expensive it's december i'll be paid on the sixties wow
11:00you you need to come up the window now quickly through the window i'm leaving the same way i
11:07came in actually i must meet your wife i should tell her you're a cheater on top of that you're
11:13a big fat disappointment in bed terrible but you were just having the time of your life
11:18oh really okay like this
11:20no no
11:22honey who's in my house hey listen now the toby is a policewoman with a very big gun and a
11:29short temper okay why did you bring me here ma'am you asshole yeah yeah take it take over
11:34of your things oh my gosh come on let me go let me go let me go let me go let me go
11:38yes you can you got this okay you okay
11:50that asthmatic two-minute noodle is full of it
12:11okay okay i thought that was you i mean i've scrolled past your face many a times
12:36you know you're engaged to strelo and your name is
12:57he definitely has the time i should go you know it's actually weird bumping into you
13:07like this i've been dying to tell you that strelo needs a surname back i mean you have
13:12been divorced for a year now
13:13you know i'm kind of a big deal on social media hashtag row to a million and i wouldn't want to
13:25confuse my followers you know with the same name and surname as you and why would they
13:29be confused since they follow you huh not the point but will you do it
13:34whatever great back to my run bye
13:41will you finally find a man double date yeah yeah
13:48hi i wish that dog would bite you
13:54you reckon this fitting is gonna get started
14:09i don't think you get it precious you don't when i say bigger i mean bigger i want 1942 on tap
14:17i want fireworks i want tyler on stage performing at my reception
14:21yeah isn't that like your sixth drink in like 15 minutes
14:25it's the festive season why don't you just let me festive in peace
14:29of course we can afford it
14:32oh no i definitely can't afford this wedding
14:36ah man breathing through the wound that's all my friend is doing
14:39guys since we're speaking of weddings man i don't like the style's feeling man it's not giving ammo vibes
14:45it's so plain
14:46weird man come on
14:47there's there's zolega no bro i said in dandoto here like four times last night
14:52i just need a win man
14:54um have you tried a bank loan
14:58hi i was denied three times by three different banks
15:01yeah that's the genuine economy for you
15:03it's showing us our mothers
15:05if i were you i would have taken the 33 million
15:07too soon
15:12yeah too soon sorry
15:13hey man i don't like you see this whole reality show special
15:17it's the worst thing that could have happened to us
15:20okay this reality show is the best thing that's ever happened
15:23uh yeah maybe you should keep her away from the cameras
15:30yeah hey
15:31where the hell could kazzy be
15:33who
15:35uh the other bridesmaid
15:37you literally made her the other day
15:40my friend from film school
15:42the one from america
15:44katlero
15:45oh
15:46the american
15:48just say so
15:49she's so annoying
15:50with all her fakeness and lies
15:53and her accent
15:54oh
15:55oh my god it's all about me
15:56okay okay
15:57girls please
15:58can we play nice
15:59kazzy has been through a lot
16:01and her return was not easy
16:02especially since
16:04i made it and
16:05she didn't
16:05oh shame
16:06yeah
16:06wow
16:07what are you doing
16:09what's going on
16:10okay
16:11okay
16:12okay be honest yeah
16:13okay
16:14she's not that great right
16:17she's barely a six
16:18wait hold on that's the cat 2.0
16:20i love her
16:21she literally helped me get snatched after princey
16:24turtle 10
16:25so hot
16:25oh
16:26just just hold this
16:27stay there
16:28come
16:28what's happening
16:29wow
16:31okay
16:31yeah
16:32okay
16:32take a picture of me
16:34a good one okay
16:35i want to make sure we're gonna seize this
16:37picture
16:37he's overcome
16:38with the regret
16:39okay
16:40okay
16:40hold on
16:41whoa
16:41what does glenow have to do with this
16:42i thought you were in your
16:44ho is life phase
16:45yeah i am
16:46ho ho ho
16:47yeah
16:48i'm having
16:49the best sex ever
16:51you know
16:52i'm a tosser hunk
16:53yo
16:53okay
16:55yeah but
16:55you know men
16:56he hasn't called me back
16:58the street is cold
17:00huh
17:01beauty
17:02what
17:03no she didn't mean that
17:05she did
17:06she didn't mean that
17:07the streets are cold
17:08the streets are cold
17:10the streets are cold
17:11why
17:12oh sweetie
17:13it's okay
17:13okay okay okay okay
17:15okay fine
17:16fine
17:17hello my south african girlies
17:20i'm so sorry i'm late
17:21it's just uh
17:23jet lag
17:24you've literally been back for like six months now
17:27yeah
17:28but
17:30i was there for like three years
17:32so it takes longer
17:33to adjust
17:35of course
17:35it happens to everyone
17:36no it doesn't
17:37so i have good news
17:39i have two very big announcements to make
17:41so as we all know
17:42Amashia can't make it in time for the wedding
17:44so i have promoted
17:45guzzi to be my maid of honor
17:47oh wow
17:48can i politely decline
17:52excuse me
17:53emmy said that you're like a bridezilla
17:56who's a bridezilla
17:57am i a bridezilla now
17:58am i a bridezilla
17:59uh
18:02i just want everything to be perfect
18:04okay
18:04just for the reality special
18:06is that too much to ask for
18:07reality special
18:08that's actually my second announcement
18:10i'm doing a wedding reality special with netflix
18:13i'll do it
18:13it's good
18:14my girl
18:17why didn't you just say so
18:18yeah sure
18:19i'm dead
18:20when are we shooting
18:21soon
18:22because i need to like
18:23lose a few pounds
18:24because you know the camera
18:25can just like
18:25pack it up
18:26the whole time
18:27it's just
18:27you look fine
18:28no she doesn't
18:30i mean maybe you can call fit cat 2.0
18:32to help you sister
18:33oh my god
18:34oh my god
18:35you know fit cat 2.0
18:37she is literally like the best
18:39in america she's
18:42what's up with her
18:47okay
18:49your first duty as my maid of honor
18:51yeah
18:51keep her far
18:52far away from my cameras
18:54okay
18:54yeah
18:55don't you think you've had enough
19:01no
19:02well clink clink you guys
19:04yeah
19:05to the show
19:06to the wedding
19:09cheers
19:11cheers
19:12okay so it's t minus five days
19:18till the white wedding
19:19so please guys
19:20let's uh
19:20get this right
19:21uh yes auntie
19:23so baby
19:24do you think it's a good idea
19:25to do this wedding special
19:26i mean we all know what happened
19:28on that show of song gaga
19:30and the jews
19:32do you remember that one episode
19:33no man
19:35no man
19:35let's all just forget about this reality show
19:38understand
19:38if we do not follow tradition
19:40and don't follow our customs
19:43then we would be casting this wedding
19:45with bad luck
19:45i agree with him
19:46yeah
19:47he said bad luck
19:49what do they have to do with this
19:52huh
19:52what's wrong with you
19:55uncle the plan hasn't changed
19:57friday morning is the lebola
19:59and after that is the traditional wedding
20:01saturday is the white wedding
20:02what's the problem
20:03wait wait
20:03hold on my child
20:04you see everything you're saying here my boy
20:07they won't happen
20:08not until the tzana's here
20:10formally hand over
20:12solika to the paturis as per hour
20:14yes
20:15yes tradition
20:16how many times are we going to go over this
20:18just because you forced us to agree to this plan of yours doesn't make it right
20:22no no no no
20:23we're not forcing anyone
20:24if you ask me
20:24no hold on me
20:26no way
20:26i'm talking listen
20:28the problem is with you
20:29the problem is with you kuto
20:30because you're allowing these children to dictate culture to us
20:33look at your life
20:34me
20:34i'm telling you that's the problem
20:36look at you
20:37you're being so rude
20:38this reality show is going to trend for sure
20:40hey
20:42hey
20:43if you have a problem with the way that tzana's choose to do things
20:47there's the gate
20:48come on
20:50oh there's the gate
20:50thank you
20:51out
20:52i've never seen you out
20:53to not surprise these people
20:55are they kicking us out of here
20:57no man
20:57no
20:58we are going in
21:01there's a commotion
21:05uncle didn't you say you moved here for some peace and quiet
21:07what's happening
21:08are you expecting anyone
21:10something's definitely going on
21:12you won't keep us out of here
21:14what's going on
21:15i don't know
21:16this would never happen at waterfall estate
21:19never
21:20oh god go in there
21:21i'll show you what i'm doing
21:22please no sec
21:23you're gonna hurt me
21:24you're gonna hurt me
21:25ah
21:26ah
21:27oh
21:28oh
21:29oh
21:30oh
21:31oh
21:32oh
21:33oh
21:34let's go see what's happening
21:35calm down
21:36we want you here
21:37just sit down i'll go out there
21:38i'll come along with you
21:39you come away
21:40just sit down
21:41your
21:42you're not allowed to be here
21:44guys
21:45wait no no no
21:48stop
21:49no no no no
21:50i would stand
21:51you'll hurt
21:52oh
21:53you're not allowed
21:55leon
21:56no man leave him man
21:57thank you
21:58let him go
21:59let him go man
22:01Dad? What are you doing here? Hey, but didn't they say the old man wasn't well enough to travel?
22:10Papi? But I told you to. This is typical course.
22:14You're making a racket. I'm trying to hear what's going on down there.
22:18Let me go see what's going on.
22:19Okay, my boy.
22:20Hey. Why is it I hear from my neighbor, though, that my granddaughter is getting married?
22:26And now, Dad? What is he saying?
22:31Didn't you say he couldn't make it?
22:33Had I been told? I would have been here, my love.
22:36You complaining about not being informed? That's rich coming from you. Really is.
22:40Wait, Martin. Wait, wait.
22:42Dad, please. Let's go talk in private. Please, let's go in there.
22:47I'm not simply going to sit there quietly and watch you give away my granddaughter like we're uncultured, like we're some kind of swine.
22:55Granddad, that's not what's happening. Please calm down. Just calm down.
22:58We've agreed that the Lobola negotiations are happening on Friday. And we also agreed on the Lobola price. Right, Dad?
23:06You have agreed? Who did you agree with? What on earth are you thinking? You're negotiating your own pride price. What is this now?
23:15Well, things will have to be done correctly. Or no. As the Tana family, before the wedding can take place, we will arrange properly for the Lobola negotiations.
23:30And it's only then you'll have your wedding. Not so?
23:34Yes.
23:35Oh, wow. Let's rather forget about the wedding special. We might as well just have our own reality show series.
23:41Oh.
23:42I have to say, it's dramatic, eh?
23:44Um, Granddad, please, please listen to me. We can't just change things now.
23:50I mean, we've already sent the invitations. And the venue is only available on Saturday. We won't have another day available.
23:56Also, the TB crew is on standby.
23:58Oh, my dear child. Do you not want your marriage to be blessed?
24:04Yes, of course.
24:05When you are at Tana, we do things properly. When at Tana Pride is getting married, for Lobola, we want 11 cows. 11.
24:15What? 11? What?
24:19Cows?
24:20So, where am I supposed to get 11 cows, Wolega?
24:25Just calm down.
24:26Well, where I come from at home, a man makes a plan, my boy.
24:32What did he say?
24:33He said 11.
24:3511. 11 cows.
24:37We don't even have a chicken.
24:40I don't understand, brother. I mean, why are you entertaining that man's nonsense, eh?
24:45I want him to go as much as you do.
24:47Oh, we had a plan. What right does my grandfather have to ruin it all?
24:54Only God knows what he's really doing here.
24:57And why didn't anyone tell him about the wedding, though?
25:01Dad, this isn't fair. You didn't want to make a big deal of the negotiations for Lobola. So what changed now?
25:07Eh, my child, your grandfather's already here now, so I'm afraid the only way to get rid of him is to do things his way.
25:14Hey, no! There's no way.
25:16All right, he'll stay. But he'll make some holes in your white wedding, my love.
25:22Fine. I will not jeopardize my white wedding for these Lobola negotiations.
25:26If it doesn't happen in the next two days, we'll forget it.
25:31Oh, and most importantly, I don't want grandfather anywhere near my cameras. Okay?
25:37Okay.
25:37I don't know, babe. Maybe we should just move the wedding.
25:53Wow, how are you doing?
25:55Wow, how are you doing?
25:56Wow, how are you doing?
25:57We got the venue a year in advance. It's probably fully booked until next year.
26:02And besides, the call sheet is out already. We can't just cancel on it.
26:05I know that, but you live in cows, Olega.
26:08Even my dad's annoyed and wants this over and done with.
26:11Maybe I can just lend you the money and you can pay back.
26:13No.
26:15I'm already living in your apartment, babe.
26:17I can't let you pay for your own Lobola.
26:18You're not marrying yourself.
26:20No.
26:20That was the point of us moving in together to begin with. To save money.
26:24I know. But this is a lot.
26:29I just want the rest of the world to know that I choose you for the rest of my life.
26:33Why is that so hard?
26:40Look. Hey.
26:44I'll get the money. Okay?
26:48I'll get the money. I promise you.
26:50I'll sort this out.
26:52I have a plan.
26:54Come here.
26:56Okay?
26:57Okay.
27:12I've got no plan.
27:15No, man.
27:16Magai, why don't you just go ahead and take Olega's money, bro?
27:19What kind of man does that make me?
27:21Well, the kind who doesn't lie to his future wife. That's not so bad.
27:25No, bro. I just want to be able to do this one thing, okay?
27:29Oh, well.
27:29How about Spoon?
27:32How about Spoon?
27:33That guy's loaded. He always has money.
27:36I can't ask him again. I took a loan from him last month. I can't do it.
27:40What about your auntie, though?
27:41Do you know Doreen?
27:42By the way...
27:44A bank loan?
27:50It's not like borrowing money from your granny. They need to know that I can pay it back.
27:53It's a tough one.
27:59Hey, speaking of granny's, Kakiso, I know an old lady that can give you money now. Like, immediately.
28:07Hey, I promise you, it's legit.
28:11Ah, relax, bro. I see a potential plus one there. Hello. How are you? Do you have any money?
28:21None.
28:31This is a bad idea.
28:33Do you have a bad idea?
28:36Relax, man. Let's go.
28:37He looks like a hitman.
28:39Hey, my four cars, man.
28:47Let's just go.
28:54Hello, brother. How's it, guys?
28:58Hey! Hello, hi. Greetings, greetings.
29:02Yes, hello to you two. Hey, do you have an appointment?
29:06Through the app on Play Store.
29:09I told you they're legit, huh?
29:10Hmm. Three, two, three.
29:12Aye.
29:13Ha.
29:14Eve 80. 1987, right?
29:17Yes, mama, it is. That's my dream car right there.
29:20Yeah.
29:20Yeah.
29:21He traded in his old car for this one here.
29:23And after that, he spent thousands of rands upgrading this thing.
29:26That's how it goes. He likes to trim things up, you know?
29:29Yeah, no, it's worth it, you know.
29:30Yeah.
29:31Yeah, she's a real beauty.
29:33Yeah.
29:34How much?
29:38Uh, I'm not selling it, ma'am.
29:40Did you not come here to borrow money, though?
29:42Yeah, it's, uh, I'm getting married.
29:44How much you want?
29:47Just tell her the truth.
29:50A hundred and fifty thousand.
29:51My goodness, that's a lot of money for a first time.
29:56Yeah, I understand that, but I've got to negotiate lobola.
30:00I, I swear I'll pay it back.
30:02So you, you're gonna lend us the money, or you're gonna, nah.
30:07My chance.
30:08Hey, gentlemen, we're coming, please.
30:10We created you.
30:11I'll give you five percent of my business.
30:12Hey, hold on, hold on, hold on.
30:14Five percent, five percent.
30:15Five percent.
30:16Yeah.
30:18Tom.
30:19Uh, ma'am, if I don't pay you, I'll give you five percent share of my business.
30:23How do I know if your business is even legit?
30:25Ah, ma'am.
30:26There were some white guys last year.
30:28They were willing to pay him.
30:29They made an offer for his app for 33 million.
30:33I'll tell you what.
30:35Instead of the money, hey?
30:37I'll lend you 16 live cows.
30:40Because I like you.
30:47You're lending me?
30:48Yeah.
30:49The thing is, um, my nephew is getting married tomorrow.
30:52And the ceremony is at 4 p.m.
30:55So I'm lending you his cows.
30:57But you need to bring them back before 2 p.m.
31:012 p.m.
31:03You understand?
31:06So what happens when the Tanas ask what happened to their cows?
31:09Hey, man, it's not like it's gonna matter.
31:11He's not going to keep them in his garden, is he now?
31:13We're just gonna show them the cows, tell them we're keeping them at a farm,
31:16then bring them back to Mombazo.
31:17And then?
31:19And then you win 2 million lans from the capitalists and replace them before they know they've gone to a war.
31:25Fuck us.
31:25Oh, well, I guess if you don't want my cows...
31:29No, no, no, no, Mombazo, we'll take the cows.
31:32Hey?
31:33I'll take the cows.
31:34And I, I will take one of your fingers for every minute that you're late.
31:44Your fingers.
31:46Uh, I think we should go, my friend.
31:49Uh, gentlemen.
31:51Okay, keep going.
31:53Eish, my chains.
31:55Eish, my chains.
31:57There's a cave.
32:03So, we open on you, waking up in a tiny little fountain apartment.
32:07Excuse me?
32:08I worked very hard to save up so I can buy this place.
32:11Thank you very much.
32:12Cut to Soweto.
32:13How are you waking up?
32:15Split screen.
32:16South Africa's favorite villain.
32:17With failed township entrepreneur.
32:20I see it now.
32:21Then we cut to spiraling staircase.
32:25The large patootie clan on the side.
32:26On the other side, the four zanners.
32:28It's actually six now.
32:29Perfect.
32:30Okay.
32:31Or two families at war.
32:34Cut to Lobola negotiations.
32:36Clan names and their uncles welcoming gifts and more.
32:39But will the negotiations be open?
32:43That's perfect.
32:44Cut, cut, cut.
32:45How about we just skip the Lobola part and focus more on the most important part.
32:50The White Wedding.
32:51Huh?
32:52It's boring.
32:56We want all the drama.
32:57Like tears, conflict, family secrets.
33:00No, but what happens to having a wholesome wedding special?
33:05Yeah, wholesome just doesn't get the ratings.
33:08Or a safta.
33:09Who's the safta even for?
33:11Just, uh, sorry.
33:14It's fine, it's fine, it's fine, it's fine.
33:17He got real cows.
33:20That's what I'm talking about.
33:24We've got it.
33:26Imagine real cows coming down, craying super white.
33:29Stand up for the beach on earth.
33:35Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah.
33:43Oh, my goodness.
33:45I'm here, I'm here.
33:46Let's load the cows.
33:47Come on, let's go.
33:48Ah, where's the truck?
33:52Ah, but I, but I made a plan here.
33:54You call this a plan?
33:55Can you see how many cows are here?
33:57How will we fit them all?
33:58Easy.
33:59I'll take them one by one.
34:01Think about what it will mean for the zanahs.
34:02It will make them happy.
34:03Uncle, Tahiso is literally going to kill me now.
34:08You just had one job here.
34:10Hey, you can be so unreliable, uncle.
34:13I swear.
34:14Why?
34:16I put the car in now.
34:24I think that my role as Maid of Honor is the biggest one I've ever had.
34:29You know what they say in America, they're not small roles.
34:32Listen to me, boy.
34:32Our ancestors are angry.
34:35And people are being fed pies as big as your finger.
34:38No, man.
34:39All this does is to make us look stingy.
34:42The ancestors are angry at us for doing this here instead of at home.
34:45I've had to appease them with a bottle of whiskey.
34:48No, dad.
34:49Not my-
34:50Guys, follow the noise.
34:51Let's go.
34:52Let's go.
34:53Wait.
34:53What?
34:53Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
34:55No.
34:55Wait.
35:01Do some work.
35:01What must I do?
35:02Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go.
35:03Okay, let me tell you about a time.
35:06Go, go, go, go, go.
35:07We're going to exit the ocean and chlamydia.
35:08I thought what?
35:10Yeah.
35:10Chlamydia.
35:11We're just trying to help.
35:12She thought she had chlamydia.
35:16Damn it.
35:17We made it!
35:23We made it!
35:24We made it!
35:25We made it!
35:26We made it!
35:39We made it!
35:40We made it!
35:41We're finally here!
35:42We made it!
35:43We made it!
35:55What do you mean you can't bring the cows?
35:57We made it!
35:58Shh!
35:59What are we going to do now?
36:00We don't have enough time and I can't get married without my fingers.
36:03Your fingers?
36:04What now?
36:05What are you talking about, Kakiso?
36:07There's always issues with this family.
36:08What's happening here?
36:10It's uncle.
36:10So what did he do now?
36:11He brought a small van to transport the cows.
36:14Oh my goodness.
36:14My goodness.
36:16Oh my goodness.
36:16That got riddol.
36:17Greetings.
36:20What a pleasant surprise.
36:23and you two know each other no yes you know what hey we have a big issue in our hands you know
36:36let's focus on gahiso and the missing cows the cows are missing no they're not missing i just
36:41need to get a truck quickly otherwise all of this is gonna be for nothing i know a guy uh he lives
36:47in soweto who knows a guy who knows another guy who owns trucks in fact you met him that night
36:52what night no probably somebody else shame he's thinking about someone else okay so how soon
37:03can we get it gahiso my son are you seriously letting your future in-laws help you to go and
37:09get the cows that are meant for the lobola no this is bad luck dad if there's no cows there's no wedding
37:17so no lobola at all how soon can we get it i mean i can go and get them it's just that i'm unfamiliar
37:22with joeberg unless someone accompanies me
37:25i'll go let me accompany you let's go what's this hey mama what's going on now what's happening with
37:40your sister mom i don't know what are you doing here actually zolega's my niece
37:45what you know you could have told me that zolega was your niece yeah but you were not into talking
37:54that night plus with your one night stand rules and all i didn't even get your number so i take it
37:59your family doesn't know that you go home with random strangers well in their eyes i've only slept with
38:05and i'd like to keep it that way how's about i take you out tonight get to know each other
38:12come on dude we're in the middle of a wedding and anyway there's nothing to know because you see
38:18when it comes to love i'm done wow that's dramatic i think that maybe you just haven't met the right
38:26person for you who's fine dude just drive okay
38:33where are they time's almost up
38:45i told you i told you we're going to win today
39:06here are the girls let's go let's go hey hey they're waiting they look so stressed trust me
39:12things will come together yeah i'm here just like i said i'd be right right
39:17so let's hurry those who's mad at us
39:25hey come over here my boy i'll stab you please give us five minutes i told you
39:51two p.m. shot yes you make me late for the wedding and it will be ruined no no i know
39:57members but we're almost done here just just just five minutes i want the keys to the truck
40:03where are the keys huh the keys oh the keys they're in the truck they're in the truck
40:07yeah i'm taking my bloody cows oh i will shoot you my boy it's just ten minutes
40:14gentlemen hey gentlemen come on
40:18what's happening over here don't tell don't tell me and who are those people
40:25you know actually i'm going to butcher you like meat
40:31get out of my way you i'll be over there okay yeah yeah i'm coming
40:37hey who who are those people who are they
40:40come on let's go
40:44look they're taking the cows something is going on they're taking the cows they're being stolen
40:50i'm telling the others the cows are being stolen
40:52my goodness and then for my fifth birthday i
40:58are you guys listening when is the global negotiation actually gonna start
41:04yeah because this is not giving i don't think this is gonna trend hey
41:09uh you didn't even let me finish you should listen to the story
41:13if you just let me they're taking the cows what the cows are being stolen now
41:17the who's cows i don't know who's taking them i'm going back there i don't know
41:21who's taking them but they're getting stolen
41:23my goodness go go go go go go go oh we're trending at number one
41:30i should have never listened to you man i knew this was a bad idea
41:35oh you're blaming me now yeah it's uncle god's fault come on
41:40those are my cars
41:47she's missing with the dog
42:07what the hell is going on here you're gonna make me late for my nephew's wedding
42:12what what does that have to do with us watch out you can't talk to me like that
42:15just because he dressed all fancy
42:16hey brother what's going on let's go come on let's go come on let's go brother
42:20oh dear that's my muscle huh there go my cows huh did you say cows
42:29what's going on run run i think you should run
42:34i think you should run
42:38i think i'm going to destroy you you little mosquito
42:47come on let's go let's go
43:03let's go let's go
43:09what have you done
43:14you see this is the content we signed up for
43:21saftas here we come
43:25thank you
43:42Satsang with Mooji
44:12Satsang with Mooji
44:42Satsang with Mooji
45:12Satsang with Mooji
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