_KÄNGURU CHRONIKEN
Willkommen in der verrückten WG von Marc-Uwe Kling und dem kommunistischen Känguru! In diesem Video zu den "Känguru-Chroniken" erlebst du die besten Momente, schärfsten Dialoge und lustigsten Kapitel des Kult-Bestsellers.
Egal ob du den Film gesehen hast, das Hörbuch liebst oder die Bücher auswendig kannst – dieses Best-Of ist genau das Richtige, um dem Alltag (und dem kapitalistischen Weihnachtsstress) zu entfliehen. Das Känguru steht auf Schnapspralinen, Nirvana und Diskussionen über den Vietcong. Marc-Uwe Kling versucht einfach nur, irgendwie klarzukommen. Zusammen sind sie das unschlagbare Duo der deutschen Kleinkunstszene.
Warum du dieses Video schauen musst:
Legendäre Zitate und Wortgefechte.
Perfekt zur Unterhaltung an Feiertagen wie Weihnachten oder Silvester.
Satire, die den Nagel auf den Kopf trifft.
Erlebe, wie ein Beuteltier die Welt erklärt, Nazis boxt und warum ein "Witzig"-Stempel manchmal die einzige Antwort ist. Viel Spaß mit diesem Ausschnitt aus dem Känguru-Universum – ideal für Fans aus Deutschland, Österreich und der Schweiz! Vergiss nicht, dem Kanal zu folgen für mehr Kabarett und Comedy.
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Willkommen in der verrückten WG von Marc-Uwe Kling und dem kommunistischen Känguru! In diesem Video zu den "Känguru-Chroniken" erlebst du die besten Momente, schärfsten Dialoge und lustigsten Kapitel des Kult-Bestsellers.
Egal ob du den Film gesehen hast, das Hörbuch liebst oder die Bücher auswendig kannst – dieses Best-Of ist genau das Richtige, um dem Alltag (und dem kapitalistischen Weihnachtsstress) zu entfliehen. Das Känguru steht auf Schnapspralinen, Nirvana und Diskussionen über den Vietcong. Marc-Uwe Kling versucht einfach nur, irgendwie klarzukommen. Zusammen sind sie das unschlagbare Duo der deutschen Kleinkunstszene.
Warum du dieses Video schauen musst:
Legendäre Zitate und Wortgefechte.
Perfekt zur Unterhaltung an Feiertagen wie Weihnachten oder Silvester.
Satire, die den Nagel auf den Kopf trifft.
Erlebe, wie ein Beuteltier die Welt erklärt, Nazis boxt und warum ein "Witzig"-Stempel manchmal die einzige Antwort ist. Viel Spaß mit diesem Ausschnitt aus dem Känguru-Universum – ideal für Fans aus Deutschland, Österreich und der Schweiz! Vergiss nicht, dem Kanal zu folgen für mehr Kabarett und Comedy.
Känguru Chroniken,
Marc-Uwe Kling,
Das Känguru,
Kleinkunst,
Hörbuch komplett,
Satire deutsch,
Comedy Deutschland,
Känguru Zitate,
Schnapspralinen,
Witzig Stempel,
Känguru Film,
Hörbuch Bestseller,
Kabarett live,
Humor deutsch,
Känguru Manifest,
Känguru Offenbarung,
Känguru Apokryphen,
Marc Uwe Kling live,
Vorleser,
Poetry Slam,
Systemkritik,
Kommunistisches Känguru,
Halt mal kurz,
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Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00:00Oh fuck, I shouldn't have brought you to the studio.
00:00:14I shouldn't have brought you to the studio.
00:00:18Hello, my name is Marc-Uwe and I am here, the narrator of this film.
00:00:22And the kangaroo is there too.
00:00:24You're in too.
00:00:26I want to tell you my story.
00:00:28Your story? I must be hearing impaired.
00:00:30Tell me, do you actually plan to interrupt me the whole time?
00:00:32You keep interrupting me.
00:00:34OK.
00:00:34May I please tell our story now?
00:00:37Go ahead and do it.
00:00:39Please, start.
00:00:41I won't stop you.
00:00:43Start.
00:00:43Oh, never mind. Let the movie begin.
00:00:45Eaters! Eaters!
00:00:47No, no, no, stop.
00:00:49You need to start much earlier. Rewind.
00:00:51Wow, you're really getting to me.
00:00:52Hello.
00:00:54Marc-Uwe.
00:00:55No, no, no, no, no. Much earlier. Much, much, much earlier.
00:00:57You know what? It's best if you just start at the very beginning.
00:01:00Good.
00:01:01I'll start from the very beginning.
00:01:11There was once a point where matter and energy density were infinite.
00:01:17A singularity where the general theory of relativity did not apply.
00:01:24And then the following happened.
00:01:27The damn Big Bang? Seriously?
00:01:29You said, from the very beginning.
00:01:30Wow, you're such a nitpicker.
00:01:33Okay, wait a minute. Now I've made a good start.
00:01:35Once upon a time, not long ago, in a galaxy very, very near.
00:01:44Hey, sorry to interrupt again, but you promised me that Nirvana would be playing at the beginning of the movie.
00:01:49This is not Nirvana.
00:01:50So, we couldn't afford to have any idea what Nirvana costs.
00:01:53We've already spent everything on Hasselhoff.
00:01:54I should never have been allowed to act in a German comedy.
00:01:56I had a very good offer from Marvel; this wouldn't have happened to me otherwise.
00:01:59Now stop complaining.
00:02:01Help me find a good beginning for the film.
00:02:04Well, I think we've already messed that up.
00:02:07That's me, by the way.
00:02:09A young man with a history of migraines.
00:02:11Hello.
00:02:11Is that supposed to be you?
00:02:12No, that's obviously not me.
00:02:14This is the actor playing me.
00:02:15I mean, I would have liked to play myself, but I'm just...
00:02:18Too old and too ugly?
00:02:19Not an actor, I meant to say.
00:02:21Now shut up already, this is my movie.
00:02:22Excuse me, have you ever been on the poster?
00:02:24Who wrote the book?
00:02:25But the film isn't called The Mark Uwe Chronicles, is it?
00:02:27Nevertheless, it's my film, and you know what I don't...
00:02:29You must see your migraine as a place of unloved Dante.
00:02:38It has a future here and there with you.
00:02:42It's best to take your time; you'll be discussing Dante.
00:02:45Take a drastic walk.
00:02:49Close your eyes.
00:02:50Hello.
00:02:51I rented the apartment across the street a few days ago...
00:03:04Well, "rented" is too strong a word, I know.
00:03:08Yes, anyway, I was just about to bake some pancakes when I realized I forgot to buy eggs.
00:03:13No, I understand.
00:03:14Understand.
00:03:15Hm?
00:03:16Oh right.
00:03:17Yes.
00:03:18Oh, your doorbell is awful.
00:03:21Four eggs are enough.
00:03:24Thanks so much.
00:03:26Thank you very much.
00:03:27Sure, why not.
00:03:28Oh, that was quick!
00:03:30Anyway, I just realized that I don't have any salt either.
00:03:44For the pancakes.
00:03:45You know.
00:03:46And if you also had a little milk, otherwise it will be too dry.
00:03:53And half a pack of flour isn't supposed to make an omelet.
00:03:57Oh, that's so kind.
00:03:59Thanks.
00:04:05Thank you.
00:04:06Oh, ah, good thinking.
00:04:16Gladly.
00:04:17If you also had a whisk and a bowl.
00:04:19My call has been answered. Please leave a message after leaving a beep.
00:04:23Oh, that's so sweet.
00:04:24Thanks.
00:04:25Hey, this is my lord.
00:04:26Wow, that's my answering machine. I thought those things only existed in movies with sloppy exposition.
00:04:30Actually, I'm looking for a babysitter, but you don't seem to be hanging around at home like usual.
00:04:35That's a shame.
00:04:37No no.
00:04:46No stove.
00:04:48Yes.
00:04:49Aha.
00:04:50They don't like tidying up very much either. What?
00:04:53May I ask what you do for a living?
00:04:55How come?
00:04:56They are at home during the day, and I don't mean to offend you.
00:04:59But it's just after three and you're still in your pajamas.
00:05:02I am an artist.
00:05:03Oh right.
00:05:04I have tonight.
00:05:06Aha.
00:05:07Acquiring artist?
00:05:08Three.
00:05:09Creative.
00:05:10What is that?
00:05:11With music and all that?
00:05:12Yes, yes.
00:05:13Sometimes.
00:05:14Well then, why don't you play something for us?
00:05:15No.
00:05:16But.
00:05:17No fear.
00:05:18I used to sing too.
00:05:19In a punk world called the Sick Sisters.
00:05:21Your song couldn't be any worse.
00:05:23Yes.
00:05:24Yes.
00:05:25Oh cool.
00:05:26You're always hanging around at my place.
00:05:31You share everything I have with me.
00:05:35Ah, you're a cabaret artist.
00:05:37I am not a cabaret artist.
00:05:38And that's how you perform?
00:05:40That was mediocre.
00:05:41Yes.
00:05:42What about you, anyway?
00:05:43With me?
00:05:44Why me?
00:05:45Excuse me, you're also 37 now.
00:05:46I am a communist.
00:05:47Aha.
00:05:48What's wrong with that?
00:05:49No.
00:05:50So, you still have some vanilla.
00:05:53But there's no table over there.
00:05:54And you?
00:05:55What are you like?
00:05:57I am an anarchist.
00:05:58I then enjoy being an anarchist.
00:05:59Cool.
00:06:00Then we can be friends.
00:06:01Will you revolutionize?
00:06:02After that, things get difficult, of course.
00:06:04Police.
00:06:05Yes.
00:06:06Exactly.
00:06:07We are the police.
00:06:08We are the police.
00:06:09Fact.
00:06:10Have you ever had a Känke here?
00:06:12Yes.
00:06:13Exactly.
00:06:14We are the police.
00:06:15We are the police.
00:06:16Fact.
00:06:17Have you ever had a Känke here?
00:06:19Have you seen a kangaroo?
00:06:21No.
00:06:22It's an animal with a pouch and a tail, a real little freak.
00:06:27I know what a kangaroo looks like, yes.
00:06:30May we come in for a moment?
00:06:31Absolutely no way.
00:06:32Thanks.
00:06:33At a glance.
00:06:34The city's property management company has announced that a kangaroo is living in this house.
00:06:39would have set up an apartment.
00:06:40Aha.
00:06:41But you didn't encounter a kangaroo, did you?
00:06:43No.
00:06:44What are you offering as an apology?
00:06:48Excuse me.
00:06:49That's all private.
00:06:50We're just doing our job, okay?
00:06:51OK.
00:07:00Yes.
00:07:01Perhaps you should just take a look under the bed?
00:07:03Perhaps you'll find my privacy there, because I've been missing it for three minutes.
00:07:07Let us know if you see a kangaroo, okay?
00:07:22Yes.
00:07:23OK.
00:07:24My hot tip.
00:07:25Australia.
00:07:26It's just me.
00:07:27It's just me.
00:07:28It's just me.
00:07:29Huh?
00:07:30Thank you.
00:07:31Thank you.
00:07:32Excuse me.
00:07:33But that was really very kind of you not to report me.
00:07:34It's just me.
00:07:35Thank you.
00:07:36Excuse me.
00:07:37Excuse me.
00:07:38That was really very kind of you not to report me.
00:07:39Excuse me.
00:07:40Excuse me.
00:07:41Why do you order your things online?
00:07:42Oh.
00:07:43It's me, Noah.
00:07:58Thanks so much.
00:07:59Sorry, that was really very kind of you not to report me.
00:08:06Excuse me, why are you ordering your things online?
00:08:10Shall we use first names instead?
00:08:11I mean, using formal address is silly now that we live together, huh?
00:08:15Don't you think so?
00:08:17Chocolate liqueur?
00:08:18No, thank you, I don't like it.
00:08:19I would hang my hammock here, and you would hang it up if that's okay.
00:08:24And the box is on your right, right?
00:08:25So, this is actually my living room.
00:08:27No, no, those are also bourgeois categories, huh?
00:08:32What about the pancakes? You wanted to make pancakes.
00:08:37I believe this is the beginning of a wonderful friendship.
00:08:40So, you and I, entrails, I mean.
00:08:43You're always hanging around at my place.
00:08:55So what?
00:08:56You share everything I have with me.
00:08:59Oh, that's nice of me.
00:09:00If you ever vacuum, do it in the middle of the night.
00:09:03Weather as if nothing at all.
00:09:04You always do everything differently than it's supposed to be done.
00:09:07Your behavior leads me to believe that we are friends.
00:09:12That's a bold claim.
00:09:14Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:09:15Your behavior leads me to believe that we are friends.
00:09:19You believe that.
00:09:21Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:09:22If I have a date, you come with me.
00:09:25What a date, honestly.
00:09:27If I help you, then you say we are quid.
00:09:30It's brilliant.
00:09:31Go on, catch.
00:09:31If I escalate every conflict.
00:09:34Breathe.
00:09:34Just wanted to tell you about life.
00:09:36Yes, what then?
00:09:36That you annoy me.
00:09:38Your behavior leads me to believe that we are friends.
00:09:43Oh, oh, oh.
00:09:44Once I have a plan, you'll find yours easier to follow.
00:09:57When I'm in a really awesome mood, you're even more awesome.
00:10:00That wasn't me.
00:10:01Nobody scares me as much as you do.
00:10:05Because we agree.
00:10:08Everyone else is even dumber than us.
00:10:12Yes, that's right.
00:10:12Your behavior leads me to believe that we are friends.
00:10:17I've heard it often enough now.
00:10:18Now I can sing along.
00:10:19Your behavior leads me to believe that we are friends.
00:10:26Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:10:28Ah, it's already over.
00:10:29Great.
00:10:30Today we are reporting from the headquarters of Unsere Heimat AG.
00:10:35And now Jörg Twix is standing in front of me.
00:10:37Mr. Twix, what drives a successful businessman into politics?
00:10:41As a right-wing populist.
00:10:43Right-wing populist?
00:10:44I beg you, right-wing populist.
00:10:46Jörg Twix expresses the will of the people.
00:10:50And I think that our country has a healthy patriotism...
00:10:53Healthy patriotism.
00:10:55That sounds like a benign tumor.
00:10:58It may not be life-threatening, but it is still a tumor.
00:11:01If you know what I mean.
00:11:02Doesn't matter.
00:11:03So, the first rule of the boxing club is...
00:11:07We're not talking about the boxing club.
00:11:09The second rule of the boxing club is...
00:11:12We're not talking about the boxing club.
00:11:13This rule is very easy to remember because...
00:11:16Because it's the same as the first one.
00:11:17And the third and final rule of the boxing club is...
00:11:20If you see a Nazi, you have to box him.
00:11:22Correct.
00:11:22Let's go.
00:11:23Strike.
00:11:24Come.
00:11:24I am a Nazi.
00:11:25As.
00:11:25Come.
00:11:27It's so incredibly sweet that you're babysitting here.
00:11:29But there are also people in this shared apartment who at this time...
00:11:33Half past eleven?
00:11:34Those who also like to sleep at half past eleven.
00:11:37Sorry, do you also come in a friendly version?
00:11:38I only ever appear tired, irritable, and angry.
00:11:41What are you even doing here?
00:11:42The thing about the boxing club.
00:11:43I thought we weren't going to talk about that.
00:11:45Ah, that's right.
00:11:46Correct.
00:11:47Hey, why don't you join in?
00:11:48We'll share it together.
00:11:49Ouch.
00:11:49Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, exactly, exactly.
00:11:52Always exploit the opponent's weakness, but now put your fists up to their face.
00:11:56Otherwise I'll come from below and...
00:11:57Super.
00:11:59Um.
00:12:00Um.
00:12:03When you go back to your mother's later, please remember the first two rules, okay?
00:12:07OK?
00:12:08I'll get you a schnapps baloney.
00:12:10Ah, finally.
00:12:11Ah, finally.
00:12:19Is that your fear?
00:12:23That wasn't me.
00:12:24It came from outside.
00:12:26Oh, I do have a dust mite.
00:12:28Allergy.
00:12:28I made the Kruppditte.
00:12:39Who misjudged him?
00:12:40Me, for example.
00:12:41And me?
00:12:42I'm too young to die.
00:12:45Many wonder how they managed to persuade the city to allow them to build over Görlitzer Park.
00:12:51Yes, please, how is that a manipulative question?
00:12:53Well, of course, we're building over 40 percent, not 100 percent.
00:12:59The question is whether this is even still a park.
00:13:02This is more of a drug dealing hub.
00:13:05A place where useless subjects hang out.
00:13:08The world revolution will never happen if you just lie around lazily in the park.
00:13:12What does that mean?
00:13:13Your anarchism is already so moderate, you could join the SPD (Social Democratic Party).
00:13:17You could even become chairman.
00:13:19You don't have to be so insulting, okay?
00:13:20You have to eat something, otherwise I'll get angry.
00:13:23Hmm, lucky me.
00:13:25I have something with me.
00:13:27Do you want some of it?
00:13:31Cold pancakes, old fish fingers, and chocolate liqueurs.
00:13:39Teutelt ihr, mag Paps, Paps, Paps, Schnalinen.
00:13:41You can't do that.
00:14:10I've always wanted to do that.
00:14:13Oh, those French Bulldogs aren't very good at flying.
00:14:17They behave somewhat awkwardly from an aerodynamic point of view.
00:14:19A Pomeranian, for example, or a Pekingese would certainly have flown four or five meters further.
00:14:24Which ones fly best?
00:14:25Yes, Chihuahuas are quite good at flying.
00:14:28Of course, it also depends on how they're shaved.
00:14:31That's no problem again, right?
00:14:32Did you just kick my dog?
00:14:36Yes, didn't you just kick his dog?
00:14:38Um, no German.
00:14:41No, I think the foreigners' wash might have been the wrong choice.
00:14:44Look.
00:14:44The world can consider itself lucky that Germany has not expanded as much as the tattoo on his stomach.
00:14:50How would you not like it if I punched your kangaroo?
00:14:53Yes, how would you like it if he punched your kangaroo?
00:14:55Come on over there.
00:14:56So, strictly speaking, that's not my kangaroo.
00:14:59It belongs to itself.
00:15:00I am very particular when it comes to ownership.
00:15:02Not only in the case of means of production.
00:15:04Communists too, or what?
00:15:06Yes.
00:15:06Yes.
00:15:06Do you want to look it up?
00:15:14This time I got a better shot.
00:15:22Don't do that again.
00:15:25I wouldn't have thought that Klimt wouldn't end like that.
00:15:30Well, you idiots.
00:15:31Who hasn't yet?
00:15:32Who wants to go again?
00:15:36Run, Forrest, run!
00:15:47Age!
00:15:48Hello, you wanker!
00:15:49Two parking spaces, what's wrong with you?
00:15:51Clattering!
00:15:52Hello, you bum!
00:15:53If we don't stop that asshole, he'll kick us out of here.
00:15:55Don't worry, Maria.
00:15:56I was born there, behind the counter.
00:15:59My mother was working the night shift, and that's when it made a popping sound.
00:16:01I was born very quickly.
00:16:02I am now the sixth child.
00:16:04What more could one expect?
00:16:05Then the way is clear.
00:16:07Yes, come on, she needs me.
00:16:11Bye.
00:16:12Bye.
00:16:13I can't stand it anymore.
00:16:15This Radenloch is right next to our beautiful tower.
00:16:17But we do love the historic building fabric.
00:16:21But it's good for PR, I think.
00:16:25Hey, make way!
00:16:28Excuse me.
00:16:28Oh God.
00:16:29Oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:16:29Oh, oh, oh.
00:16:30Is this still the case?
00:16:31Yes?
00:16:31I just wanted to help.
00:16:32I need the house key.
00:16:33Stay calm, I'll put it in the bag.
00:16:35Make the croups equal.
00:16:36What comes to mind?
00:16:37I shouted "Make way!"
00:16:39Asshole.
00:16:39We need the key.
00:16:40Do you have the key?
00:16:40I need an Arsenal key.
00:16:41Where is the key?
00:16:43Just look.
00:16:44I mean the house key, you idiot.
00:16:47Pull a bar, yes?
00:16:48So, what?
00:16:48Gladly.
00:16:53Go ahead and do it.
00:16:54I'm doing it now.
00:16:54You can already see that they're coming.
00:16:55I'm not that annoying.
00:16:57Yes.
00:16:57Please do it now.
00:16:58Hey, you're serious.
00:16:59Do you have it or not?
00:16:59I have the key.
00:17:00I got him.
00:17:00Attention, attention, watch out.
00:17:03No, German.
00:17:04Where's your key, huh?
00:17:06Do you speak German?
00:17:08No, no, not in German.
00:17:11I am a Turkish man.
00:17:18Do, do, do, do, do, do, do.
00:17:20Ah, yes, yes.
00:17:21You're so incredibly uptight.
00:17:22Then yes.
00:17:23Neither.
00:17:24Neither.
00:17:25Not even money.
00:17:26No, ah, oh.
00:17:30Okay, now let's all stay calm.
00:17:33Don't make a mistake now.
00:17:34You are four Nazis.
00:17:35We are not Nazis.
00:17:37We are patriots.
00:17:38Of course, four patriots.
00:17:40In any case, according to statistics from the Bertelsmann Foundation
00:17:42one of you four patriots
00:17:44an informant for the Office for the Protection of the Constitution.
00:17:47Yes, and have you ever wondered,
00:17:51Which of you four is the informant?
00:18:02Let.
00:18:07Good day.
00:18:10Luckily, you have a long connection.
00:18:12So stupid.
00:18:15Let me, let me.
00:18:17This is your car, right?
00:18:19Oh, great.
00:18:20That's just typical of foreigners.
00:18:21Oh, sorry.
00:18:22You don't work, but you like sledding, huh?
00:18:24That's not my car, it belongs to him.
00:18:26Yes, he's only borrowed.
00:18:27Yes, it belongs to his dad.
00:18:28Honestly, please just leave the car out of this.
00:18:30You have no idea what his father is like.
00:18:33Punch me instead.
00:18:34Exactly, you should punch him.
00:18:38Ouch.
00:18:39Ouch, that must have hurt.
00:18:41So you're saying the car doesn't want to make the acquaintance of my basketball stick?
00:18:46Uh, baseball bat, and no, she doesn't want one.
00:18:50No?
00:18:51I shouldn't do that, right?
00:18:52No, please don't.
00:18:55Germany is a beautiful country.
00:18:56We live in Europe.
00:18:57But soon, Europe will belong to us, the Ottoman Empire, soon to be a world power.
00:19:01Wow.
00:19:03Germans always say, "We can't do that either," right?
00:19:07Yes, please.
00:19:09I'm not supposed to cut the tires all the way to the bottom, huh?
00:19:12That is a correct assessment.
00:19:18I have absolutely nothing against Arabs here.
00:19:21Those are Turks, honey.
00:19:22Yes, I have nothing against Turks either.
00:19:24In Turkey.
00:19:25It's 100% organic and German.
00:19:31Honey, please don't forget your salmon intolerance.
00:19:34I've damned much worse things.
00:19:42Are you ugly?
00:19:50Are you stupid?
00:19:51I might as well smash something completely different if you don't change your tone.
00:19:56Just as finely drawn as the son, eh?
00:19:58Yes Yes Yes.
00:19:59That's not my son.
00:20:02This is my son.
00:20:04Yeah, they're all idiots.
00:20:11Okay, now calm down, or someone will start crying here.
00:20:15That's enough now.
00:20:17Man, I told you so.
00:20:19I am so rich.
00:20:22That doesn't bother me at all.
00:20:24I still have two of them.
00:20:26I have a black one, a red one, and a gold one.
00:20:28Thank you very much, but I had the situation completely under control.
00:20:32Yes, that's clear.
00:20:33Is everything okay with you?
00:20:34Yes, thanks.
00:20:39Now would be a good moment to approach you.
00:20:42Maria, um, tell me, I wanted, um, so, if you ever need something better, uh, yeah, I have to, uh, you know what I mean.
00:20:57Are you still wearing your pajamas?
00:20:59Huh?
00:21:00So, he's actually been wanting to ask you out for a while now, huh?
00:21:09He's not very good at dealing with feelings and stuff.
00:21:12That's correct.
00:21:13Oh, that's so cute.
00:21:15You, then tell him that it would certainly be very nice to go out with him.
00:21:17Unfortunately, that's not possible because the rules forbid it.
00:21:20"I understand, mhm," I tell him.
00:21:23She can't go out with you because the rules forbid it.
00:21:26What kind of rules?
00:21:31No idea.
00:21:33I hope you are well insured.
00:21:35I guess I don't know who you're dealing with here.
00:21:37On the contrary, you don't know who you're dealing with.
00:21:41The other one, honey.
00:21:42Oh, uh, Mr. Twix.
00:21:55I didn't recognize it.
00:21:57Uh.
00:21:58Where is my bunny photo?
00:22:16Unfortunately, I didn't know what to make of it.
00:22:18On the car key?
00:22:19My bunny photo?
00:22:20Yes, the rabbit photo is the only thing my father asked me to do.
00:22:30Jörg, I'm a friend of your father.
00:22:34I have something for you.
00:22:37This lucky charm has been in your family for generations.
00:22:43When your father had to go to World War II, he wore it around his neck every day.
00:22:47Your father knew that if the Russians discovered the rabbit photo, they would confiscate it.
00:22:56So he hid them.
00:23:00In the only safe place he knew.
00:23:03His march.
00:23:12For two whole years, your father carried the rabbit's paw on his march.
00:23:17And then, when he finally calmed down, I think the rabbit paw in me.
00:23:23I hid them for two years during my march.
00:23:26And now, little man,
00:23:30I'll give you the rabbit picture.
00:23:37I'll take care of it, okay?
00:23:38Calm down.
00:23:39Unfortunately, we cannot pay for that.
00:23:48Yes, because we're not working.
00:23:49Who's talking about money here?
00:23:51If they don't hand over the rabbit photo voluntarily, you're my plan B.
00:23:54I'll start by looking at your back.
00:24:06Your word twisting is truly awful.
00:24:08You mean if you mix up the letters?
00:24:10I find it funny.
00:24:13Danger!
00:24:14That's the Bud Spencer-style anesthesia hammer.
00:24:20Look, how long is this construction going to take?
00:24:23Five years?
00:24:24As of today, Kreuzwerk is as dead as my mother.
00:24:28I was born in here, behind the counter.
00:24:30My mother worked a night shift as a popper.
00:24:32Fall, fall, fall.
00:24:34You must fight back, that's what she'll do up there.
00:24:36Unfortunately, it's not that simple, Jesus.
00:24:37The child will hate you for that name someday, Maria.
00:24:39So, a little bit helps.
00:24:42I have an idea for a pretty radical protest song.
00:24:56Good evening everyone.
00:24:58Hello.
00:24:59Non-alcoholic beer, please.
00:25:01We don't have him.
00:25:04That's over, did you hear? We don't have that.
00:25:06Well then, a proper one.
00:25:09Wow, then it's no wonder.
00:25:21when the whole family eats sandwiches.
00:25:27My husband lost something here this morning.
00:25:30which he bequeathed to his father.
00:25:31And to which he is very attached.
00:25:33That's a rabbit's foot, something this big.
00:25:35And I'm sure one of them has it.
00:25:37And if he or she gives me their paw now,
00:25:40Then the next round is on me.
00:25:43If my husband doesn't get his rabbit foot back,
00:25:46Then it could become very unpleasant for all of them.
00:25:48Unpleasant?
00:25:49Is someone talking about me here?
00:25:50I can also be very unpleasant.
00:25:53And I'm not talking about some malicious graffiti or anything like that.
00:25:55Graffiti.
00:25:56What?
00:25:57The graffiti, the graffito.
00:25:58Singular.
00:25:59Someday, someone will tell you
00:26:00I'd get a real earful for something like that.
00:26:02And I will stay with you,
00:26:03until you regain consciousness,
00:26:05to tell you,
00:26:06I told you so.
00:26:07That's nonsense about the graffiti.
00:26:09You don't say either,
00:26:10excuse me please,
00:26:11There's a piece of spaghetti stuck to the child.
00:26:13Even if that were the most correct of all singular forms.
00:26:16Singulier, Hertha.
00:26:17We don't have a rabbit's foot here.
00:26:19You can tell your bunny that, okay?
00:26:22Goodbye forever.
00:26:23How can we be a little bit unpleasant now?
00:26:40A small terrorist attack, huh?
00:26:41The Twix is already causing the terror.
00:26:45What we need to do is carry out an anti-terrorist attack.
00:26:51And what do you have in mind?
00:26:53We must travel together!
00:26:55We must travel together!
00:26:57We must travel together!
00:26:58We must travel together!
00:27:00We must travel together!
00:27:02The tower must go!
00:27:03Let's go!
00:27:04The tower must go!
00:27:05The tower must go!
00:27:07Louder!
00:27:07The tower must go!
00:27:09The tower must go!
00:27:10One of the initiators is now standing in front of me.
00:27:12the so-called Tuesday demonstrations.
00:27:14Would you mind telling us your name?
00:27:16Uh, yeah.
00:27:17Friedrich Wilhelm Jumatz.
00:27:19That's an unusual name.
00:27:21Yes, my parents meant well.
00:27:22with the will to integrate.
00:27:24With the Integration Wilhelm!
00:27:26Yes, better than my brother.
00:27:29Tell me your name!
00:27:30I don't feel like it.
00:27:32Now say your name!
00:27:34Otto von...
00:27:36Baa!
00:27:39Lavashkiri!
00:27:40And you're here because of the demonstrations too?
00:27:41No, I wanted to buy a hand blender here.
00:27:45Okay, thank you.
00:27:46Bribery allegations, corruption rumors, protests from local residents.
00:27:50Against the 600 million euro Europa Tower
00:27:53Resistance is growing.
00:27:55Probably also because it is their favorite project.
00:27:58This concerns AZD chairman Jörg Dvix.
00:28:01I, Jörg Dvix, an angry fighter against the establishment.
00:28:06My lucky charm.
00:28:08This movie!
00:28:09That's the establishment!
00:28:11Oh my God, what happened, bunny?
00:28:15Hey!
00:28:17It's all ok.
00:28:18Yes?
00:28:20Come on, take a picture for Instagram.
00:28:24Destroy what destroys you.
00:28:27Yes?
00:28:27Hashtag Fakenews.
00:28:34I don't know, look.
00:28:35Perfect.
00:28:36I would vote for myself.
00:28:37Same to you.
00:28:39Oh, I see.
00:28:40I would love to.
00:28:42The therapist...
00:28:43Oh, clap.
00:28:44Yes, you need a session.
00:28:46I'll tell him you'll be there soon.
00:28:47Hello.
00:28:48So much.
00:28:48Yes.
00:28:57Psychotherapeutic practice at Lietzensee.
00:28:58Good day.
00:28:59Yes, hello.
00:28:59Ms. Dvix?
00:29:00Yes.
00:29:01It's that time again.
00:29:03Yes, I'll let him know.
00:29:05Aha.
00:29:07Aha.
00:29:08And how did you feel then?
00:29:10Um.
00:29:15Honestly, not at all.
00:29:16Yes.
00:29:18I often feel emotionless.
00:29:20Aha.
00:29:22You know, I think that very often you feel, how should I say, emotionless.
00:29:29Craziness.
00:29:30Many of my patients are amazed by my empathy.
00:29:34But well, I also studied for years for this.
00:29:38Continue.
00:29:40Yes, time is running out.
00:29:42Yes.
00:29:42I often get the feeling that everything I say or do is somehow pointless.
00:29:52Because nobody ever really listens to me anyway.
00:29:54Would you mind if I quickly grabbed a bite to eat?
00:29:55I haven't had a chance to do that all day, sir.
00:30:00Please.
00:30:05The kangaroo thinks that I'm not really unemotional, but that I just have inhibitions.
00:30:11Have I ever tried it with alcohol? Have you ever tried it with alcohol?
00:30:18Hm?
00:30:19Please?
00:30:19Yes, it helps many of my patients.
00:30:22I must confess that I myself am not at all keen on the occasional bottle of brandy.
00:30:29Seriously?
00:30:29Yes Yes Yes.
00:30:30Is that your advice?
00:30:31Of course, absolutely.
00:30:33Let's get back to this kangaroo.
00:30:35Could we talk about me instead?
00:30:38Can you only hear its voice, or can you also see it?
00:30:49What kind of question is that?
00:30:51Of course I can see it, it lives with me.
00:30:53Of course, of course.
00:30:58Hey.
00:30:59Hey.
00:31:01Well then, let's do something for that bikini body.
00:31:04So.
00:31:05Hello, dear friends, here in front of the screen.
00:31:09Here I am again, your Johnny Helge.
00:31:11I have a mat with me.
00:31:13And we'll start with sit-ups.
00:31:16Oh no, please no sit-ups.
00:31:17Who knows how to do it?
00:31:19On the floor.
00:31:21Did you spare the head?
00:31:22The kangaroo, I am very much a kangaroo.
00:31:25That's a very lovable animal.
00:31:28A fan.
00:31:29We have a patient who imagines that a pig lives under his bed.
00:31:35He can even smell it.
00:31:36I don't think you were allowed to tell me that.
00:31:38Well, why do you think it doesn't bother me that he has to listen to the shitty problems of some strangers all day long?
00:31:45I need to be able to talk to someone about this at some point.
00:31:48With you.
00:31:49Excuse me.
00:31:50One of our patients is in the waiting room.
00:31:52Oh right?
00:31:52He didn't mention his name.
00:31:54How is that?
00:31:55Excuse me.
00:31:56Excuse me, please come in.
00:31:57I'm afraid you have to interrupt your work for an hour at this point?
00:32:02Welcome, wherever you are.
00:32:03If you have heating at home, it's quite beneficial for your feet.
00:32:32Yes, yes, have you forgotten your key again?
00:32:43So we'll meet again.
00:32:45Uh, hello.
00:32:47Can I offer you something?
00:32:49Maybe fall in love over a few shots of schnapps?
00:32:53What's the point of that?
00:32:56What's that supposed to mean?
00:32:58What?
00:32:59Yes, that one.
00:33:00Ah, hey, supply and demand.
00:33:02Have you ever heard of it?
00:33:06Now it's your turn.
00:33:07Hey, hey, wait, wait, wait, wait.
00:33:09What's up?
00:33:11What about joke halls?
00:33:12There's free beer today.
00:33:12It's written right outside.
00:33:14Where is that written?
00:33:14Show me where that is.
00:33:15Where?
00:33:16Well, there you go.
00:33:21You know that?
00:33:22Otto, the display runs over your unprotected Wi-Fi and the password for the display is
00:33:26one two three four.
00:33:27Oh.
00:33:28Yes.
00:33:31Hi.
00:33:32Mark, Uwe, it's 1 p.m.
00:33:34Did you fall out of bed?
00:33:37Oh, no.
00:33:38I just had an appointment with my psychotherapist.
00:33:42Seriously?
00:33:42Are you going to see a doctor?
00:33:43Yes.
00:33:44My parents gave me ten sessions as a birthday present because I was studying philosophy
00:33:50I cancelled it.
00:33:51Hey, Mark, Uwe.
00:33:53Do you want me Marte?
00:33:54I'll buy you one.
00:33:55Come.
00:33:56Come on.
00:33:59Sorry.
00:33:59Give up.
00:34:02I'm counting to three.
00:34:03Then I'll really give you a piece of my mind.
00:34:04One two three.
00:34:08Here, man.
00:34:09Thanks.
00:34:10Hey, hey, hey.
00:34:10I wanted to tell you something else.
00:34:12Maybe you should find a girl in your price range.
00:34:15Do you understand?
00:34:18What is my price range?
00:34:20Well, more like this...
00:34:21Discount store.
00:34:24Hey, no offense intended.
00:34:25No, it's not meant to be offensive.
00:34:28She can't, anyway.
00:34:29That's against the rules, too.
00:34:31Do you know the rules?
00:34:39Hey, what are you doing?
00:34:42What does that mean now?
00:34:48Should I organize your place?
00:34:52Maul.
00:34:52Ah, there's another one who's not very bright.
00:34:55How?
00:34:56Expression.
00:34:56What?
00:34:57They say they're slow on the uptake.
00:34:59Ah, there you go.
00:35:00I warned you, old man.
00:35:03Yes.
00:35:05No no no.
00:35:07Oh God.
00:35:08Not the bad guitar.
00:35:10We have a message for you.
00:35:12This time you've stolen from the wrong person.
00:35:14Big Cloud.
00:35:15Ouch.
00:35:16What exactly are we supposed to have stolen?
00:35:19Big Cloud.
00:35:20Where is Hagenpfote?
00:35:21What?
00:35:21The rabbit's foot.
00:35:22Where is that damned Hagenpfote?
00:35:23That damn lucky charm.
00:35:25I know nothing about it.
00:35:26OK.
00:35:27You asked for it.
00:35:28Hey, no, no, no.
00:35:36Man, what?
00:35:37I have such a beautiful carpet.
00:35:38That damned Hagenpfote.
00:35:39Last chance.
00:35:43It's stuck to it.
00:35:45We are so rich.
00:35:51That doesn't bother us at all.
00:35:52Heinrich?
00:35:53We still have two carpets.
00:35:56One in the bathroom and one at his parents' house.
00:36:02Sorry, dude.
00:36:04Should I jump now?
00:36:05Are you okay?
00:36:16Do you feel any pain?
00:36:19You're always doing such stupid stuff, man.
00:36:26What did you want with that damn rabbit's foot?
00:36:30I don't know that.
00:36:32She somehow appealed to me, didn't she?
00:36:34"Yes, take me," she said.
00:36:37Promise me you'll never do something like that again, please.
00:36:40Yes.
00:36:40Yes?
00:36:41Yes.
00:36:42A pioneer's word of honor.
00:36:45Since then, I've really made the room cozy.
00:36:48When will we strike back?
00:36:49The sooner the better.
00:36:51But how do we fight back?
00:36:53We could simply call the police.
00:36:55Uh.
00:37:04Hey.
00:37:06Hey.
00:37:07Hey.
00:37:18Now let's take a picture.
00:37:20Ha-Ha.
00:37:21Maybe not that big.
00:37:30Hey.
00:37:31He should call, not me.
00:37:40Where do you want to go?
00:37:42Up.
00:37:44Wait, where exactly do you want to go?
00:37:47We're bringing the carpet for Mrs. Twix.
00:37:50I know nothing about a carpet.
00:37:53Mrs. Twix is just minutes away from giving birth.
00:37:56She very spontaneously decided to have an office birth.
00:37:58On your own carpet.
00:38:00Yes, on the carpet here.
00:38:01But shhh, shhh.
00:38:03So, all the rumors that there are some problems with the planning permissions are wrong?
00:38:08No, I mean, yes.
00:38:10I can assure you that the disapproval...
00:38:14The expertise.
00:38:15The expertise is excellent.
00:38:17No problems at all.
00:38:19The foundation stone will be laid next week.
00:38:23Yes, that's great.
00:38:24So, can you put the expertise on a towel then, please?
00:38:26That's not the case now.
00:38:28Of course that's possible.
00:38:29What's going on here?
00:38:29Yes, with the belt.
00:38:30I didn't mean to stop you.
00:38:31Uh, I'm sorry, I have to run.
00:38:34We can do it, as we say in Germany.
00:38:36Do not worry.
00:38:37What do you want here?
00:38:38Um, we're here because your Nazis peed on our carpet.
00:38:42Do the security check immediately.
00:38:43And you also broke my guitar.
00:38:45We want a new carpet.
00:38:47And a new guitar.
00:38:48Uh, the guitar isn't that important.
00:38:51I always say something.
00:38:52Learning from America means learning to win.
00:38:56They will fail.
00:38:57The antisocial network will bring you down.
00:39:00The antisocial network?
00:39:01Wait a moment.
00:39:02Yes, I thought our resistance group needed a catchy name.
00:39:04In America, the patriots have regained power.
00:39:09And do you know what the symbol of this takeover of power is?
00:39:12No?
00:39:13A field hairstyle.
00:39:14A Twitter account.
00:39:17No?
00:39:17Oh, do you know what this is?
00:39:23The result of a false inferiority complex.
00:39:28Gives?
00:39:28Yes.
00:39:29This is the future.
00:39:31The Europa Tower.
00:39:33Or The Wix Tower.
00:39:35How we fly together internally.
00:39:38Planned and financed.
00:39:40From patriotic movements from 16 different nations.
00:39:4317, you're forgetting Bavaria.
00:39:45Do you know why I'm building our headquarters in Kreuzberg?
00:39:51In this tainted heart of left-wing, green, multicultural human experiments.
00:39:57Like me.
00:39:58No.
00:39:59Why?
00:40:00Because I can.
00:40:03Because you lost.
00:40:05With whomever we want.
00:40:07Therefore, I can simply stroll into your old fortress.
00:40:10and ejaculate my tower in your face.
00:40:13So, is that a no to the guitar and the new carpet?
00:40:20You live here, don't you?
00:40:21Huh?
00:40:22Here in the house next door to the other one.
00:40:23No, no, we live somewhere completely different.
00:40:24Somewhere completely different.
00:40:25Do you know what I'm going to do?
00:40:26I was just wondering why you, being so impotent, are getting on my nerves.
00:40:29I'm going to buy your house too.
00:40:33I'm going to tear it down.
00:40:34And I'm going to build myself a park.
00:40:40Okay, now get out.
00:40:44Let me.
00:40:46Where is that?
00:40:46Oh, hey.
00:40:47Abarkt.
00:40:47Cautious.
00:40:48There you go.
00:40:48I am on the endangered species list.
00:40:50Okay, come on, let me open it.
00:40:51I am tall.
00:40:53Get me the curly tail.
00:40:55An idiot in uniform is still an idiot.
00:40:59An idiot in uniform is still a uniform.
00:41:01Oh, oh.
00:41:03Incidentally, I'm quite sure they weren't Nazis, but patriots.
00:41:07Knapps-Berliner?
00:41:35I wondered.
00:41:37Should I perhaps become a bit more active?
00:41:41I've received some positive signals from Marie.
00:41:43I couldn't care less.
00:41:47Um, I mean, I'm really happy for you.
00:41:51Sorry, I mixed up what I wanted to say and think.
00:41:56How could I become more active?
00:41:58Just ring her doorbell.
00:41:59What do I want to say to her?
00:42:01Just ring the bell.
00:42:01You'll think of something.
00:42:05OK.
00:42:05Perhaps you shouldn't mention the Twix parking garage.
00:42:08Hm?
00:42:10And you should take off your pajamas.
00:42:13Yes, that's a good idea.
00:42:18Now that you've taken off your pajamas, maybe you could put on something proper.
00:42:23True.
00:42:23A bathrobe isn't really appropriate.
00:42:28No.
00:42:32Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:42:33Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:42:42Nope.
00:42:43Hi.
00:42:45I...
00:42:47Yes, please?
00:42:49I was just about to bake some pancakes.
00:42:55And that's when I realized I have no eggs.
00:42:59So, so. You have no balls.
00:43:03That came across wrong somehow.
00:43:07I forgot to buy eggs.
00:43:09That seems a bit silly to me, of course.
00:43:11After all, eggs are such a prominent part of the word "pancake".
00:43:15God, if I had noticed that earlier, I could have saved myself a lot of trouble.
00:43:21So, do you perhaps have any eggs for chicken eggs for me?
00:43:26I am vegan.
00:43:28I do not store unborn babies of sentient beings in my refrigerator.
00:43:32Cool.
00:43:34So then...
00:43:36Bye.
00:43:41Bye.
00:43:42Wow.
00:43:43Just wow.
00:43:45I imagined it would be fun, but it exceeded all my expectations.
00:43:49Life is a series of missed opportunities.
00:43:54Well, maybe yours.
00:44:04That was a joke.
00:44:06You always look so incredibly stupid.
00:44:08Are you not a vegan at all?
00:44:09Yes, yes.
00:44:10These are Jesus eggs.
00:44:11Jesus eggs?
00:44:12For heaven's sake!
00:44:13The Catholic Church will surely pay a fortune for this relic.
00:44:21Yes, I am a vegetarian myself.
00:44:24Wow.
00:44:25Now we could almost go out for a meal.
00:44:27Well, almost.
00:44:28Actually, I've been living on the border for quite some time now.
00:44:30On veganism.
00:44:31Mhm.
00:44:32Just let me know when the time comes.
00:44:36Notice?
00:44:38Sweet.
00:44:39But I can't go out with you.
00:44:41It would be against the rules, you know that.
00:44:47Yes.
00:44:48Bye.
00:44:51Do you believe the rules really exist, or does she just not like me?
00:44:54Oh, you know.
00:44:55I think she likes you, but...
00:44:57The problem is that you...
00:44:59You're not really very, um...
00:45:01Not particularly.
00:45:02You know, that one word, you're not particularly, um...
00:45:05Sexy?
00:45:06Yes.
00:45:07Yes Yes Yes.
00:45:08That's clear, but...
00:45:09That's not what I meant.
00:45:10I meant, um...
00:45:11Why can't I think of the word right now?
00:45:12Not particularly.
00:45:13Successful.
00:45:14Yes, sure, but...
00:45:15That's not what I meant.
00:45:16Not particularly funny.
00:45:17I meant...
00:45:18Uh...
00:45:19Yes, of course, otherwise you would be more successful.
00:45:20But I meant, um...
00:45:21I meant, um...
00:45:22You're not very...
00:45:23You are particularly interesting.
00:45:24Yes.
00:45:25Yes.
00:45:26Exactly, exactly.
00:45:27That's the word I was looking for.
00:45:28You...
00:45:29You're not particularly interesting.
00:45:30Yeah, you're nothing special.
00:45:32You are...
00:45:33You are...
00:45:34You're like a blank sheet of paper.
00:45:36Or rather, like one of those recycling patterns.
00:45:38So, a...
00:45:39A grey leaf, yes.
00:45:40I think you're like one of those suits from C&A, you know?
00:45:42It's wearable, but it's not exactly stylish.
00:45:45Or like a Fiat Punto.
00:45:47Yes, that's okay, but...
00:45:49Nothing you'd want to take on holiday.
00:45:51Okay, okay...
00:45:52You know, something like that...
00:45:53OK.
00:45:54You are misunderstood.
00:45:55No wonder I need to see a doctor, huh?
00:46:00I just want to help.
00:46:01Maybe you just need to do something that sparks her interest.
00:46:07Oh dear.
00:46:08He's really creating chaos in a relationship.
00:46:10How this happened remains our ugly secret.
00:46:15You have absolutely nothing to worry about.
00:46:27They are not crazy.
00:46:28At least not compared to my other patients.
00:46:31I have one, for example.
00:46:32He actually imagines that he knows someone who speaks.
00:46:36Mr. King!
00:46:37Hello, you're already here.
00:46:39Come on, come on.
00:46:41I'm glad, great, great.
00:46:42Have you ever bought a new CD?
00:46:44Like an inner meadow.
00:46:45No.
00:46:46Could you perhaps buy it together with the book?
00:46:47Make a good offer.
00:46:48Yes.
00:46:49Please come, please come.
00:46:50Time is running out.
00:46:51No disturbances.
00:46:52Thank you.
00:46:53Please.
00:46:54You don't believe me, do you?
00:46:55Yes, yes.
00:46:56I actually live with a wildebeest myself.
00:46:58Um, just bring the kangaroo along to the next meeting.
00:47:01Excellent.
00:47:02Perhaps you'll also bring the babbling hare.
00:47:05And I ask the Mad Hatter.
00:47:07Then we'll have a wonderful tea party.
00:47:10Please take a seat.
00:47:11Time is running out.
00:47:12Speaking of tea societies.
00:47:13I felt so great after the last session.
00:47:17But I would stand by that for a long time.
00:47:19Yes, I just wanted to give it to you as a small token of appreciation, so to speak.
00:47:22No, I'm not allowed to, you know that I don't have to ask the patient for anything...
00:47:25Uh.
00:47:26Oh, that's very thoughtful of you.
00:47:31Yes, and if you wish, we can destroy the evidence right away.
00:47:35Okay, I'll get some glasses.
00:47:36Yes.
00:47:37Oh, Mr. Kling.
00:47:38Yes, I imagine it must be incredibly stressful to have to deal with all that psychological crap from other people all day...
00:47:48Stressful?
00:47:49Mr. Kling, it's hell.
00:47:51Every human being is an abyss.
00:47:53You feel faint even when you just pull down.
00:48:01Yes, yes.
00:48:02Bye.
00:48:03Huah!
00:48:04Huah!
00:48:05Huah!
00:48:06Huah!
00:48:07Huah!
00:48:08Huah!
00:48:09Huah!
00:48:10Huah!
00:48:11Huah!
00:48:12Huah!
00:48:13Huah!
00:48:14Huah!
00:48:15Huah!
00:48:16Huah!
00:48:17Huah!
00:48:18Huah!
00:48:19Huah!
00:48:20Huah!
00:48:21Huah!
00:48:22Huah!
00:48:23Finally, we unfortunately have to interrupt the meeting.
00:48:27Because of these...
00:48:28You know, sometimes you have a patient whose problem is quite simple and straightforward,
00:48:38because it's a total ear-hole.
00:48:41And what are these earworms doing with their earhole problems?
00:48:45You know I'm not allowed to tell you that.
00:48:48A little bit.
00:48:49But please stop looking up.
00:48:51Just a little bit, simply a little bit of storytelling.
00:48:53Look.
00:48:54Yes.
00:48:55The Twix has the following problem.
00:48:58Now you want something for yourself, then you can't even help me, the kitchen is overflowing.
00:49:03You're not allowed to help, brother.
00:49:05Look.
00:49:06I now know a little secret.
00:49:09And now we just need to find evidence and you have to find his Hecker...
00:49:12His...
00:49:13Hacking computers.
00:49:14His ugly secret?
00:49:15Yes.
00:49:16Twix falsified the soil report.
00:49:18The soil in Berlin is too sandy.
00:49:19The tower would cost five times as much.
00:49:21And you must his...
00:49:23Hacking computers.
00:49:24You think there's a folder called Top Secret on the Twix desktop.
00:49:27And inside is a file called incriminating document.pdf.
00:49:30Or how about that?
00:49:31Yes.
00:49:32That's possible, isn't it?
00:49:33Even if that were the case.
00:49:34How am I supposed to get access to his computer?
00:49:36Hm.
00:49:37Let me think about it.
00:49:39If only we had a chance to sneak into Twix's house somehow without being noticed.
00:49:45Perhaps...
00:49:46Hm.
00:49:47When many other people will be there.
00:49:50Perhaps...
00:49:52at a party!
00:49:53I am looking for freedom!
00:49:55With coverage.
00:49:56With coverage.
00:49:58With coverage.
00:50:01I am looking for freedom.
00:50:02With coverage.
00:50:03With coverage.
00:50:05With coverage.
00:50:06With coverage.
00:50:08With coverage.
00:50:09And listen, this is purely a reconnaissance mission.
00:50:15We behave as inconspicuously as possible.
00:50:17Yes, yes.
00:50:17Dear Destel, dear friends, we are incredibly happy that you are all here.
00:50:22Three words I don't want to hear today.
00:50:24Capitalism, pig system, host grain.
00:50:27Sure.
00:50:27And no alcohol.
00:50:28I never drink on duty.
00:50:30I, I only need you, I don't need anyone else.
00:50:34You are my dear star, I love you.
00:50:37I think it was a very big mistake to bring you along.
00:50:39I, I, it was a mistake to bring you along.
00:50:42That suits you quite well.
00:50:43Huh? But you look pretty good yourself.
00:50:48Honestly, kids, get a room.
00:50:51Good evening.
00:51:02Good gracious.
00:51:07I could vomit.
00:51:13But you're like that, I'm still old by comparison.
00:51:16Hello?
00:51:18Once, never, that's you.
00:51:21How does this car get into the living room?
00:51:24Garage elevator.
00:51:24Yes, exactly. Garage on the seventh floor.
00:51:27That must be incredibly annoying when all your acquaintances come around every May 1st and ask,
00:51:31whether they can park their car in your living room for the night.
00:51:47Look.
00:51:48We know them.
00:51:50Our friends.
00:51:51His office must be back there.
00:51:54Exactly, that's where I need to go.
00:51:55We need to mingle with the people.
00:52:05Unobtrusive.
00:52:05Making small talk.
00:52:06Small talk is my strength.
00:52:08Watch out.
00:52:10I'll try tax havens.
00:52:13We simply no longer want the terror of the radical-green, socialist-gay-lesbian minority lobby.
00:52:18The radical-green, socialist-gay-lesbian minority lobby.
00:52:23Yes, the RGSSLML.
00:52:27Mhm.
00:52:28But you already know that our skies are being sprayed with toxic chemicals across the board.
00:52:32No.
00:52:34Here you can see these so-called chemtrails.
00:52:37They want to make the German people infertile.
00:52:40Aha.
00:52:42How can I invest my money in a politically correct, i.e., right-wing nationalist, way?
00:52:47Let me help you.
00:52:48The answer: our new equity fund.
00:52:51For example, we only have companies in our portfolio that rely primarily on child and slave labor in the third world in their production chain.
00:52:58I don't see the difference between this and a normal equity fund.
00:53:03Here, hold on for a second.
00:53:05It's gotten really bad these days, that in many of our city districts like Heizberg you can hardly find anyone who talks properly about dating anymore, right?
00:53:11I feel marginalized.
00:53:13Do you understand that?
00:53:14Yes, we all know that feeling.
00:53:15Very good.
00:53:17You four finally have it.
00:53:19I can't get up there. I don't know how to get past them.
00:53:21Yes.
00:53:22You need to distract her.
00:53:23Why me?
00:53:24This is a stage.
00:53:26Yes.
00:53:27No no no.
00:53:27If you smell it in front of us, that's a really loud shot.
00:53:29I am not a cabaret artist.
00:53:30Now you go up there and then you sing a song. And it has to be one that everyone has to listen to.
00:53:35Why don't you play your rather radical protest song?
00:53:38And you were trying to fool me.
00:53:39No no.
00:53:40You can do it.
00:53:41I remember something else.
00:53:42What do I have here?
00:53:42Listen!
00:53:43I can still go for a walk.
00:53:45Or play something by Relish People.
00:53:48Yes.
00:53:48Hello.
00:53:49I know why they're so hot?
00:53:49I am an E.
00:53:50Excuse me please.
00:53:51Yes.
00:53:52Hi.
00:53:53Hi, Marc-Uwe.
00:53:54Hi.
00:53:55I would like to sing a nice serenade to Jörg.
00:53:57Yes, that's simply not possible.
00:53:58Good.
00:53:59OK.
00:53:59Hello.
00:54:00Yes.
00:54:01You look like a crowd that would definitely love to join in.
00:54:13sings along.
00:54:15Let's go.
00:54:16Problem here.
00:54:17Problem here.
00:54:17It is a matter of disclosure.
00:54:19To try.
00:54:20With a load of crap.
00:54:22Go.
00:54:23Caution.
00:54:24Level.
00:54:25Have you already booked one?
00:54:31The online Nazi is always there.
00:54:33No, that's it.
00:54:35But at some point, my time has come to an end.
00:54:38That's it.
00:54:39The boss found the password difficult.
00:54:41I don't need a password.
00:54:42Why not?
00:54:43Ah, most Windows versions have a vulnerability that can be exploited during the boot process.
00:54:47direct.
00:54:47So, so, so.
00:54:48Are you really interested in that?
00:54:49No.
00:54:50You, normal ending!
00:54:52That's it.
00:54:54It's over.
00:54:55It's over.
00:54:57Seriously?
00:54:58One two three four.
00:55:02No.
00:55:03Uh, 1933.
00:55:08Hey, it's you again.
00:55:10Take me.
00:55:11Take me with you.
00:55:11Yes, assholes!
00:55:13Aaaaaaah!
00:55:15Aaaaaaah!
00:55:16Aaaaaaah!
00:55:16That's something.
00:55:17Thank you very much!
00:55:18Thank you very much, that's it.
00:55:20I'll secure a Fruchtzwerg (a type of fruit yogurt).
00:55:22We're a little fruit dwarf, I mean.
00:55:23Untalented artists.
00:55:25I always participate.
00:55:26Ouch!
00:55:26Everything's happening now!
00:55:27Ouch!
00:55:27Ouch!
00:55:28Ouch!
00:55:28Ouch!
00:55:28Ouch!
00:55:29Ouch!
00:55:29Ouch!
00:55:29Ouch!
00:55:29Ouch!
00:55:29Ouch!
00:55:30Ouch!
00:55:30Ouch!
00:55:31Ouch!
00:55:31Ouch!
00:55:32Ouch!
00:55:32Ouch!
00:55:33Ouch!
00:55:33Ouch!
00:55:34Ouch!
00:55:34Ouch!
00:55:35Ouch!
00:55:35Ouch!
00:55:36Ouch!
00:55:41Ouch!
00:55:42Ouch!
00:55:42Ouch!
00:55:43Oops.
00:55:43I can drive over this car.
00:55:45Where is the family now?
00:55:46For him, for the car?
00:55:47Ouch!
00:55:47Ouch!
00:55:48Ouch!
00:55:48Ouch!
00:55:49Are they crazy?
00:55:50Ouch!
00:55:50Ouch!
00:55:51Ouch!
00:55:51Ouch!
00:55:52Ouch!
00:55:52Ouch!
00:55:53Ouch!
00:55:53Ouch!
00:55:54Ouch!
00:55:54Ouch!
00:55:55Ouch!
00:55:55Ouch!
00:55:56Ouch!
00:55:56What are you doing?
00:55:57Are we in the seventh estate here?
00:55:58Nobody likes a complaining passenger.
00:56:00Ouch!
00:56:01Ouch!
00:56:02Ouch!
00:56:03Ouch!
00:56:04Ouch!
00:56:05Ouch!
00:56:06Ouch!
00:56:07Ouch!
00:56:08Ouch!
00:56:09Ouch!
00:56:10Ouch!
00:56:23Becca!
00:56:24Ouch!
00:56:25Ouch!
00:56:30Ouch!
00:56:31COSASI!
00:56:32COSASI!
00:56:33HAUM!
00:56:34DISASI!
00:56:34Ouch!
00:56:35Oiej!
00:56:36Ouch!
00:56:37Ouch!
00:56:38Ouch!
00:56:39and take everything with you, number two
00:56:53Great, you can't find anything about kangaroos, but I'm still applying for both offenders.
00:57:00the immediate order for pre-trial detention due to risk of flight and risk of obstruction of justice
00:57:06And they really have a risk of repeating themselves, that the kangaroo will immediately get a sports car again.
00:57:10I go into the pool, I regret nothing, I would do it again anytime, why do I always have to do this
00:57:16Shitty cases, drinking makes me really unhappy. Have you ever tried it with alcohol? Of course.
00:57:24But let me say one thing: it's not a permanent solution either; I'm still applying.
00:57:29Pre-trial detention because I... well, that's fine, but where are you supposed to put the kangaroo? Can't you do that?
00:57:33I called them, they said sorry, I must be hard of hearing, they're a fascist, so I think...
00:57:39In a first sense, this could be considered an infringement on the rights of the animal owners, but it's not my kangaroo.
00:57:46I refuse to recognize this court as long as it doesn't recognize me. Damn class justice.
00:57:51Now I have received a warrant for pre-trial detention due to violation of the animal owner's duty of care, bail required.
00:57:595000 euros, it's still about property damage after Parakel, no justice, no peace, fuck the police
00:58:04A €10,000 deposit will bring your kangaroo a little respect; it's not my kangaroo, after all.
00:58:09It belongs to itself; they are very particular about ownership. I have nothing against it.
00:58:14Class justice – I just don't like the class aspect; there should be a little more respect for the court.
00:58:19Respect for shit, 20,000 euro deposit now, please just be quiet, the story will be
00:58:27I'm free, nothing will happen to you, you asshole, they just want to get me, yeah, of course.
00:58:36Does that mean I can leave? No? Yes? Oh, okay. I'm glad we found a solution that satisfies everyone.
00:58:48found
00:59:06very tastefully furnished
00:59:36ring, come along
00:59:45Your lawyer is here, my lawyer.
00:59:52I would like to point out that this is not my lawyer.
00:59:56Nonsense, as your lawyer I advise you to exercise your right to remain silent.
01:00:00I hereby request that the arrest warrant against my client be lifted immediately.
01:00:04Why, given the new facts?
01:00:07which new facts, as you may have already learned from the press,
01:00:10The plaintiff, Jörg Twix, did not receive a building permit for either his car lift or his rooftop pool.
01:00:18From a legal point of view, there was therefore neither a car in the living room nor a pool on the roof terrace of this apartment.
01:00:25Therefore, my client is only responsible for ensuring that his/her...
01:00:30pet drove into something that didn't exist, into something that wasn't there
01:00:37From a legal point of view, nothing at all has happened.
01:00:41correctly
01:00:43was not there
01:00:59No, no, no, no. Show me that again.
01:01:13And that's a hologram, right?
01:01:15Yes.
01:01:15Can you make something with that?
01:01:16I can try.
01:01:17And there was nothing else on his computer?
01:01:18No incriminating documents? Nothing at all?
01:01:21Nothing.
01:01:22Hm.
01:01:24I have a plan.
01:01:26That's what I was afraid of.
01:01:28We need a team for that.
01:01:31So, what are your special abilities?
01:01:33Can you fly, make yourselves invisible, and imitate funny voices?
01:01:36What does it want from us?
01:01:37Maybe it wants to punch you in the face.
01:01:39Yes, that's exactly the right attitude.
01:01:42You're in!
01:01:42Can we say that among real estate investors, there are Sona, and then there are others completely different.
01:01:48But those are the worst.
01:01:50I don't quite follow.
01:01:51That's what a little blacksmith does.
01:01:53Not everyone can be born with a 100-watt love life.
01:01:55Some people just got an energy-saving lightbulb, huh?
01:01:57Congratulations.
01:01:58You're on the team.
01:02:00What kind of team?
01:02:01How much longer do I have to sit here, Mom?
01:02:03What are the applicant's strengths?
01:02:07He is extremely loyal.
01:02:09And I don't have a babysitter.
01:02:12Good.
01:02:13Now only one more is needed.
01:02:16Lynn.
01:02:18You can leave.
01:02:18Did this reach my lawyer?
01:02:22No, her bail was provided.
01:02:25Did you pay the deposit?
01:02:27No.
01:02:28Show him what we've done.
01:02:29Enough with cabaret.
01:02:31I'm not talking to you.
01:02:32Huh?
01:02:33Show them to me.
01:02:33Look, we've put the whole thing online and declared it an art project.
01:02:36And then you raised your deposit through crowdfunding.
01:02:39You're a little bit famous now.
01:02:40And that's great art.
01:02:41The counterattack by the antisocial network will become legendary.
01:02:45We planned an anti-terrorist attack.
01:02:46You know what?
01:02:47I think I have absolutely no desire to be part of your big counterattack.
01:02:50I somehow have the feeling that whenever you have an idea, I'm the one who's for it.
01:02:53I get my ass kicked and I...
01:02:54This is not good.
01:02:57Why are you angry with me now?
01:02:58How come?
01:02:59I just told you that.
01:03:01But...
01:03:01You told me I should let my emotions out.
01:03:03Here they are.
01:03:05Yes.
01:03:05But not on me.
01:03:07We only have one hour left.
01:03:08No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:03:11Are you worried, bunny?
01:03:17Yes.
01:03:20Lördwix, don't worry.
01:03:24My luck never leaves me.
01:03:28So, did I hear that correctly?
01:03:30We know the rest of his secret, but we have absolutely no proof.
01:03:33We don't need that.
01:03:34We live in a post-truth era.
01:03:37What does that mean?
01:03:37We simply claim to have evidence.
01:03:40Specifically, at the laying of the foundation stone.
01:03:41I will secretly unbox the architect and then deliver his speech.
01:03:45Well, I think we're relatively similar.
01:03:51So, does everyone know what to do?
01:03:54That's what I expected.
01:03:55That's why I prepared handouts.
01:03:57Could you please distribute some items?
01:03:59I even came up with a logo.
01:04:01Very pretty.
01:04:02Do you have another one for him?
01:04:03No, he's not participating.
01:04:06I don't even know why he's here.
01:04:08Oh, you're not participating?
01:04:09No, I will watch your antics with goodwill, but someone else can get punched in the face this time.
01:04:15Pipe.
01:04:15I also have migraines.
01:04:16It's so good that we got you out of jail.
01:04:18Wait a minute, not you, Ed.
01:04:19I don't need to put up with this.
01:04:20Then go.
01:04:21Go ahead.
01:04:22Just stay there for now.
01:04:23Uwe, go away.
01:04:24Well, you go ahead and do it.
01:04:25Bye-bye.
01:04:27Okay, then take a look at the handouts. Showtime is almost here.
01:04:33Thank you very much.
01:04:34Madame de Blanche, please, please.
01:04:35What's going on here?
01:04:53We need to get through here quickly.
01:04:54Red through.
01:04:55Yes.
01:04:56No, no.
01:04:56There.
01:04:57What are you even talking about?
01:04:58We can't get onto the premises.
01:04:59Too many safety precautions.
01:05:01So we thought we'd go through the wall.
01:05:04You can't be serious, can you?
01:05:05Instead of everything being on the handout.
01:05:07Well, I come from here.
01:05:10Probably.
01:05:12Probably.
01:05:16Hi.
01:05:19It's the wall, after all.
01:05:21Yeah, right?
01:05:21I was right after all.
01:05:22Excuse me, guys, why didn't you punch a hole in your own wall?
01:05:32Are you crazy?
01:05:33We're not going to put a hole in our corner shop.
01:05:35Yes, that makes sense.
01:05:36Can you at least look after Jesus?
01:05:52Yes.
01:05:52Dear friends, fellow citizens, patriots, today is the first day of the next thousand years.
01:06:14What an incredibly stupid sentence.
01:06:17Today is also the first day of the next thousand years.
01:06:19I welcome our allied patriots from our European neighboring countries.
01:06:27Who invited them?
01:06:29Excuse me, colleague.
01:06:30We are the Turkish delegation.
01:06:32We are also nationalists.
01:06:34Suppressing minorities, imprisoning dissidents, denying genocide – we can do that just as well as here.
01:06:39Warm regards to these ladies and gentlemen of the lying press.
01:06:43And who will be here?
01:06:46Dear friends, here it is, the Europa Tower.
01:06:50Today we're putting an end to the Galtbox.
01:07:14Klopp, klopp, klopp.
01:07:16Excuse me, is that the new Holomax 3000 you have there?
01:07:20Yes.
01:07:22Nationalism is never always about hating, and violence is what our enemies claim.
01:07:27This accusation is completely unfounded.
01:07:30That's a great piece of equipment.
01:07:32Are you showing more already?
01:07:33Yes, we only just got that too.
01:07:36We originally wanted to work with the Polo Plus 2.0, but...
01:07:40Because we have common enemies – the Chinese, the Samists, Brussels – but we will show them all that international nationalism can work.
01:07:53Yes, let Mr. know.
01:07:55That wasn't the plan.
01:07:59I am Steuers, the leader of this great movement.
01:08:03You can be proud to have me as your leader.
01:08:17Go on, get started!
01:08:18That's fast too.
01:08:20The Tower costs more money because of the sand.
01:08:24And thanks to the split in the 6T distributor, we were finally able to produce enough flowers.
01:08:39Are you really interested in that?
01:08:41Total.
01:08:42She will never find happiness.
01:08:46He will lead them to victory.
01:08:48Ladies and gentlemen!
01:08:50Help!
01:08:51Always leave me out!
01:08:52Before I now hand the floor to the architect of this symbol of our strength,
01:08:58Let me say once again that I am glad we have cleared out our conferences,
01:09:05to serve Western culture together.
01:09:09Analog, converted, 8K signal.
01:09:16Send it back!
01:09:18Did I really just say that?
01:09:20I am pleased to present to you the architect of the Europa Tower.
01:09:25Albrecht Schwulstatt!
01:09:26Yes, I am the architect.
01:09:46I am the architect.
01:09:48And I am very pleased about your interest and ours, and yours, um, I am the architect.
01:09:58This man, Jörg Twix, wants to betray you.
01:10:01Oh, man, do it!
01:10:02He systematically lied to everyone.
01:10:03He falsified a building survey because he is too weak to support the tower.
01:10:08It will be many times more free.
01:10:09Let some people press!
01:10:11They want to hear what you just said!
01:10:15I need a spink if you've got nothing to hide.
01:10:17Yes, you can...
01:10:18The gate has a longer construction time than the Cologne dump!
01:10:21The way Twix plans the tower, it will collapse!
01:10:23You're not going to bring it down at all!
01:10:25Well, we'll see about that.
01:10:27Be nice and quiet, okay?
01:10:28Oh, oh!
01:10:32If we start running now,
01:10:33Then they are so happy and run after us.
01:10:35Oh man, you god!
01:10:38Help!
01:10:38Help!
01:10:39Help!
01:10:40Help!
01:10:40Help!
01:10:41Help!
01:10:41Help!
01:10:41Help!
01:10:58Help!
01:11:00Schöndert!
01:11:02Again!
01:11:05We are the heard.
01:11:08I had the situation completely under control.
01:11:24Sure.
01:11:27Thanks.
01:11:29What did you say?
01:11:32You already understood me.
01:11:38What an incredible frost it was.
01:11:43It was all a show.
01:11:45If they had this evidence, they would have presented it.
01:11:49It's all lies.
01:11:51As always.
01:12:08This is another one of those perfect moments.
01:12:29So I think I deserve to hear your rules.
01:12:50So so.
01:12:51First, no friends.
01:13:00We are not friends.
01:13:02I hardly know you.
01:13:03I wouldn't say we're friends in any way.
01:13:05Secondly, nobody without their own children.
01:13:07I have a kangaroo.
01:13:09That's at least as nice.
01:13:17Thirdly, no artists.
01:13:19I'm not a real artist at all.
01:13:23I'm more of a...
01:13:24Street performer, huh?
01:13:25This is a private conversation.
01:13:28You won't find anything like that in my pub.
01:13:35Fourth, nobody in the same house.
01:13:38That's crap.
01:13:42Come on, everyone!
01:13:44I think rules are overrated.
01:13:46They aren't really rules, but more like temporary guidelines.
01:13:53Do you feel like going dancing?
01:13:54Where does Mom rent her apartment?
01:14:19A hazelnut fodder.
01:14:19Well, it seems kind of ridiculous to me to say "you".
01:14:22Come on, do it already.
01:14:24You now have lip drainage.
01:14:27And fill out the hazelnut fodder voluntarily.
01:14:31You stole the hazelnut fodder again.
01:14:32Please tell me now that it's not true.
01:14:34I couldn't resist.
01:14:36Yes, why are you waiting?
01:14:38Get that damn lucky charm!
01:14:40We're giving them back to them now.
01:14:42Then that matter is settled.
01:14:43No, never!
01:14:44You couple!
01:14:45Let go, let go!
01:14:46Look at this!
01:14:52What is that?
01:14:54If you ask me, that's proof.
01:14:56Stop her from staying!
01:14:58Have a look!
01:14:58Come quickly!
01:14:59Watch out, my hands!
01:15:07Dear patient, you must see your migraine as the place of an unloved aunt,
01:15:15who comes to visit you here and there today.
01:15:26Oh, fuck!
01:15:27Now it's going to hurt!
01:15:31Yes, now it's going to hurt!
01:15:33Oh God!
01:15:36It'll be alright!
01:15:45You must feed the hazelnuts!
01:15:47You think I'm sorry, you're tough, but I'm tougher!
01:15:51And here there's always a meadow like a mountain meadow!
01:16:02Cool!
01:16:02That's a really special move!
01:16:04Okay, Otto, what do we do now?
01:16:06We're doing what any decent German would do.
01:16:08Alright, we'll go out and beat them up.
01:16:11No, we're calling the police.
01:16:12Welcome to the Berlin Police!
01:16:19I think that's him!
01:16:23If you have witnessed a murder, please press one now.
01:16:28If you have been murdered, please press two.
01:16:32And off he goes!
01:16:33You, you all!
01:16:39No!
01:16:40That's enough to drive a stork crazy!
01:16:42If you have murdered someone, please press three now and record your confession after the pictogram.
01:16:48Two will survive!
01:16:51That's it, you're sorry!
01:16:52You mustn't call her that.
01:16:57They are simply victims of their own circumstances.
01:17:00Who is that?
01:17:00This is already a direct physical act of violence by individuals against the omnipresent, structural violence of society.
01:17:07This is one night, you victim!
01:17:09If your bicycle has been stolen, then unfortunately you're out of luck.
01:17:13Okay, I'm going out there and I'll start them together.
01:17:14Please note that additional charges may apply from your mobile provider.
01:17:20A very small bird.
01:17:22It suddenly lands on your stomach.
01:17:28Ouch!
01:17:29Where is the rabbit photo?
01:17:36Look, boy!
01:17:39Bud Spencer seems to be a powerful anesthetic.
01:17:43Jesus, come here!
01:17:50So, dude.
01:17:51Ouch!
01:17:51Mama!
01:17:52Who has the rabbit photo?
01:17:53The rabbit photo!
01:17:54The rabbit photo!
01:17:55Great.
01:17:56It is too late.
01:18:00You've already leaked everything to the press.
01:18:04The sun shines to warm you.
01:18:07I love you.
01:18:12Those legs are unbeatable.
01:18:16Everything that needs to be done is out.
01:18:21You are no longer acceptable to the party or to me.
01:18:23Are we talking about the rat hole?
01:18:24Are we talking about the rat hole?
01:18:38Are we talking about the rat hole?
01:18:51Listeners, are we in the rat hole?
01:18:54Hey, let's go home, you USA!
01:19:05What the hell is that beast doing acting like a tough guy?
01:19:07Stop it, otherwise I'll be unpleasant!
01:19:10Oh, look!
01:19:12Yes!
01:19:13Yippee!
01:19:14Stop wobbling!
01:19:16Stop!
01:19:18Are you insane!
01:19:20Oh, I feel sick.
01:19:22Come on now, you asshole!
01:19:24Hooray!
01:19:29Yes!
01:19:30Number three!
01:19:45Hey, colleagues, I'm an undercover agent.
01:19:47What are you?
01:19:47Informant.
01:19:48Yes, yes, that's clear.
01:19:49Yes, an informant from the Federal Office for the Protection of the Constitution.
01:19:50Zah, stop!
01:19:51Tell me, what's the point of this?
01:19:52Why are you pausing the movie?
01:19:53Ah, now all the bad guys are being arrested.
01:19:55You can imagine.
01:19:56Let me fast forward a bit.
01:19:57Are you crazy?
01:19:57Give me the wares, the noses.
01:19:58Stop it!
01:19:59Hey!
01:20:01Well, that went pretty well, you know, right?
01:20:07Never do that again.
01:20:08Yes, my little one.
01:20:15Oh, oh.
01:20:27Hey.
01:20:31Yes.
01:20:39See you.
01:20:45Yes, see you around.
01:20:47Yes?
01:20:48Honestly, dude?
01:20:49That would have been the moment.
01:20:51It would have been far too kitschy, it simply wouldn't have worked.
01:20:54Man, cheesy?
01:20:55Yes, next time.
01:20:56What? Next time? Oh.
01:21:02Tell me, why did you jump onto the bucket of the excavator?
01:21:05I wanted to save the house.
01:21:07But if you think about it carefully...
01:21:09That's on my not-to-do list.
01:21:10Then you have to go.
01:21:12That's on my not-to-do list.
01:21:13That was quite a daring stunt, wasn't it?
01:21:15You weren't worried, were you?
01:21:17Since I met you, all I do is worry.
01:21:19Were you worried?
01:21:20Yes.
01:21:21About me?
01:21:22I knew right away that we would become friends.
01:21:24Were you worried?
01:21:25Maybe I was a little worried about you.
01:21:28Absolutely. For no reason at all.
01:21:29I had the situation completely under control.
01:21:35You were worried about me?
01:21:36Look, the sunrise is way too kitschy.
01:21:38Oh, that's just not acceptable.
01:21:39Terrible.
01:21:40That makes you look ridiculous.
01:21:43Not.
01:21:44mold on
01:21:46mm
01:21:47third
01:21:48third
01:21:49third
01:21:50small
01:21:55I really don't know what I'm doing here.
01:22:20I'm not some system victim with a psychological issue here.
01:22:22Look, and that's exactly what I mean.
01:22:25You are completely inconsiderate.
01:22:26And I think it would really help us,
01:22:28if we talk about it openly with an impartial referee.
01:22:31I don't understand how he can be impartial if you're paying him.
01:22:33You're welcome to pay half if you want.
01:22:36Yes, that would be even better.
01:22:39There you are, Mr. Cabaret Artist.
01:22:43God bless you.
01:22:44I've already made us some tea, if that's alright.
01:22:48Tell me, how is our kangaroo doing today?
01:22:53You can ask directly yourself.
01:22:57I always have to check on the kangaroo to see how it is doing.
01:23:01Which kangaroo?
01:23:03No, no, no, no, no.
01:23:05I don't see a kangaroo, I don't see a kangaroo, I don't see a kangaroo.
01:23:08Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, it's right there.
01:23:09Nobody is sitting there, Mr. Kleink.
01:23:12He needs a mental doctor even more than you do.
01:23:14What did you say?
01:23:15I didn't say anything.
01:23:17Don't be silly.
01:23:18You know perfectly well that you're only getting yourself into trouble with that stupid kangaroo.
01:23:27Yes, that's a kangaroo, I don't see a kangaroo.
01:23:57I don't see a kangaroo, I don't see a kangaroo.
01:24:27I don't see a kangaroo, I don't see a kangaroo, I don't see a kangaroo.
01:24:40The scandal involving baton brigades revealed falsified expert opinions and black money in offshore accounts.
01:25:03Unsere Heimat AG, owned by Berlin real estate mogul Jörg Dwix and facing difficulties, was bought today by an investor.
01:25:11The new owner assured all tenants that he would take care of all problems.
01:25:16We from "5 to 12" are meeting him today for an interview.
01:25:22It's pointless trying to argue with a pile of shit.
01:25:29You've tried long enough, you've booked yourself into every talk show.
01:25:36There's always some Nazi sitting there spouting nonsense, but at some point it has to stop.
01:25:44That's it, it's over, it's over.
01:25:50We don't want it to go back to the way it was.
01:25:54We'll come without you, you wankers.
01:25:58Without you guys, sure.
01:26:01What else can you do here during the day?
01:26:02Humans have always been clueless about many things.
01:26:06Why does it get dark and so terribly cold at night?
01:26:09Therefore, he found a story about a guy called God.
01:26:13Basically, an extremely convoluted fantasy plot.
01:26:16And blood is still being shed today because of this nonsense.
01:26:20Hey guys, eventually you get good.
01:26:23That's it, yes, that's it.
01:26:26It's over, it's over.
01:26:31We don't want it to go back to the way it was.
01:26:34We'll come back without you, your shot.
01:26:38Without you guys, sure.
01:26:41We can do that too.
01:26:42A few have a lot, many have nothing.
01:26:45Many pay taxes, a few know the tricks.
01:26:49The world is on the verge of a heart attack.
01:26:53And everyone believes that the market will regulate it.
01:26:56The river flows steadily from bottom to top.
01:27:01Enough is enough.
01:27:03That's it, yes, that's it.
01:27:06It's over, it's over.
01:27:09We don't want things to stay the way they were.
01:27:14We can manage just fine without you.
01:27:18Bye, bye, adieu.
01:27:19Does that echo too?
01:27:21Yes, fountain, come, I've heard.
01:27:24Come on, nice, please.
01:27:26Come to the point.
01:27:29The game is over, finally move on.
01:27:31You are reserved, you push the fly.
01:27:36Update it, then fly away.
01:27:39When it was us, Appel-Gut.
01:27:43Bye-bye-Kowski, there's the door.
01:27:48The Appel blade.
01:27:50That's all, folks, bye-bye.
01:27:54Hocus, hocus, give, hocus.
01:27:58Arms, water, out and shot.
01:28:01A really awesome ending, actually.
01:28:07Yes, that would have been a good ending, but you always have to add your two cents.
01:28:11You always have to have the last word.
01:28:19I don't have to.
01:28:20Brain.