- 3 weeks ago
Never Mind the Buzzcocks (2021) - Season 5 Episode 8 -
Christmas Special
Christmas Special
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00.
00:27Welcome! Welcome to Nevermind the Burstcocks!
00:31It's the Christmas Special!
00:34CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:37Christmas, it means something different to everyone, doesn't it?
00:40You might think tinsel, turkey, merriment,
00:42but I know what you really want.
00:44You want a Christmas show where the legal team
00:46have asked to remove a joke about Cliff Richard because,
00:48and I quote,
00:49on top of being bad taste, there were potential defamation issues.
00:52Well, you hit the mother load here.
00:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
00:57Joining Jamali on Noel's team tonight...
01:02It's not about the money, money, money...
01:04..a Brit awards-winning global superstar
01:06who has sung with Nicki Minaj and Ariana Grande
01:09and a singer who we at Buzzcocks have got a secret about
01:11that could ruin her. We must have.
01:13Otherwise, why is she here? It makes no sense.
01:16I don't know what she's done, but she's done something.
01:18What have you done? What have you done, Jessie J?
01:22CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:24And on Sophie's team tonight...
01:29When will I, will I be famous?
01:33..lead singer of the multi-platinum selling Bross,
01:36who's on record as saying he's water-skied with The Edge,
01:39he's played table tennis with Keith Richards,
01:41he's shared a scotch with Frank Sinatra,
01:43and he's had lunch with Princess Diana.
01:45And tonight, he lands the big fish.
01:47He sits next to a pregnant woman from Bolton
01:50who told me that she once got drunk on a train
01:52with Dev from Coronation Street.
01:55He's done it!
01:56It's Matt Goss!
01:58CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:02We're also on Sophie's team, an award-winning comedian
02:06and actor who is famous for Man Like Mo Bean.
02:09And I'm with him. Man do like Mo Bean.
02:11And this man likes Mo Sausage, Mo Bacon,
02:13stick a couple of hash browns on.
02:15You can keep your cooked tomato. Let's eat.
02:17It's the brilliant Guz Khan!
02:19CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
02:21Christmas, Christmas, Christmas.
02:28Is it special to you all?
02:30You haven't done a Christmas show with us, Soph, before?
02:32I've not, no.
02:33They're your favourites, aren't they, lads?
02:34It's the worst one.
02:36LAUGHTER
02:37Why is it the worst one?
02:38Quite the worst one.
02:39You're not a Christmas fan?
02:40I've got to spend time with the family and stuff, haven't I?
02:43You only live with your mum.
02:44Yeah, I do live.
02:47You've got to come out of your room, though.
02:49LAUGHTER
02:50You've got to get off the PlayStation for a while, haven't you?
02:52And do you know what the thing is?
02:53That's actually what pisses me off.
02:54I've got to get off the PlayStation for a while.
02:55LAUGHTER
02:56Jessie, do you like Christmas?
02:57You a big Christmas fan?
02:58I love Christmas.
02:59Great, innit?
03:00Yeah.
03:01I love it.
03:02November 1st.
03:03Halloween's done.
03:04I'd have thought it would have been the opposite for you.
03:06You look like a Halloween child.
03:07Well, you look like brother and sister.
03:09LAUGHTER
03:10I sat down on set, I thought it was in the Tim Burton movie.
03:13LAUGHTER
03:19First Christmas?
03:20Yeah, first one he understands.
03:21He's two, innit?
03:22Yeah, he's two and a half.
03:23So you didn't give him one last year?
03:24No.
03:25Definitely not.
03:26I've got a mate who has that policy with his children.
03:27No gifts, no celebrations until year two.
03:29That's fair.
03:30I get it.
03:31Yeah.
03:32I know someone who threw a surprise party for a one-year-old.
03:35And I was just like, you know, you don't have to do that.
03:37You just pop up from behind a tea towel to surprise him.
03:40LAUGHTER
03:41Because you've got loads of kids.
03:43Is Christmas a big thing in your house or not?
03:45Love Christmas.
03:46Yeah.
03:47It's a time for me and my wife and five kids,
03:50and we've got this new forced tradition
03:52where early on in the day,
03:54Tommy Robinson comes round
03:55and he does a protest in our front garden.
03:57LAUGHTER
03:58Immigration and Islam and all that.
04:01Doesn't it fill your heart?
04:02It does, yeah.
04:03Obviously, none of that's true, but I wish it was
04:05because Christmas is usually shit at our house.
04:07There's nothing going on.
04:08LAUGHTER
04:09Ladies and gentlemen, Matt Goss is here.
04:11There you are.
04:12CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
04:14Matt, I was genuinely a massive Bross fan
04:17when I was at university.
04:18Right.
04:19It was our house song, I Owe You Nothing.
04:21And I want to bond with you now.
04:22I'll tell you this.
04:23Go on.
04:24I once had sex to that song.
04:25OK.
04:26I once had sex with a woman
04:27who threw a Marks and Spencer's Goodsbury fool on my penis.
04:29What?
04:30Licked it off like a big cat.
04:32LAUGHTER
04:33So you've got a blowjob and dessert.
04:36LAUGHTER
04:38Christmas, big thing for you?
04:42I love Christmas, but I feel like coming back here
04:44after I've been in the States, it arrives in, like, October
04:47and it's just too much.
04:48It's too much too soon.
04:49Yeah.
04:50It's overkill for me.
04:51When do you want it to come?
04:52Like, December 15th.
04:55Really?
04:56That is very specific.
04:57That is a very quick lead-up.
04:58How do you fit it all in?
05:00Well, that's a very personal question.
05:02LAUGHTER
05:04There you go.
05:06One for the dad's name?
05:08Just with...
05:09Just with your thumb, innit?
05:10Yeah, yeah.
05:11LAUGHTER
05:12For me, at my age,
05:13just like an old marshmallow.
05:15LAUGHTER
05:16You've both done versions of Silent Night, right?
05:18Have we?
05:19Can we have some live Silent Night?
05:21Oh, my God.
05:22To start the show?
05:23CHEERING
05:24We did it in the same key.
05:26Let's find out.
05:27Let's come, your heart is bright
05:33Round yon virgin, mother and child
05:42Holy, if it's so tender and much
05:49Sleep in heavenly peace
05:56Sleep in heavenly peace
06:00Sleep in heavenly peace
06:05LAUGHTER
06:06APPLAUSE
06:11Beautiful.
06:12That's what it looks like.
06:13I feel like me and God should have wrapped at the end.
06:15LAUGHTER
06:16Yeah, you wrap our beatbox.
06:18Yeah.
06:19Between us, let's go there.
06:20I think that's the one connection no-one ever wants to see,
06:22is you and me wrapping.
06:24Like a beatbox?
06:25So, can you run while Sophie beatboxes?
06:27No, I can't.
06:28Just for me, let's crack it.
06:29No, I can't.
06:30LAUGHTER
06:31I'm just giving you one, yeah.
06:33Sorry, I'm just going to lay back.
06:35I'm just giving him a...
06:36Hold on, let's have a little bit of beatboxing for me.
06:38All right.
06:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
06:42I need to be stood up, I think, actually.
06:44CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
06:45I lost my nerve.
06:48It was a special.
06:49Watching a pregnant northern woman beatbox.
06:50That round of applause was the definition of charity.
06:51It was, yeah.
06:52OK, shall we crack on with the show?
06:53Yeah!
06:54CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
06:55Here we go.
06:56The first question is for Sophie's team.
06:57And unsurprisingly, guess what?
06:58It's about Christmas music legends.
06:59Take a look at this.
07:00When love was gone through
07:13All I want for Christmas is you
07:17If she sees you
07:19When love was gone through
07:23All I want for Christmas is you
07:27It's the season, love and understanding
07:32Merry Christmas, everyone
07:36Christmas time, mistletoe and wine
07:41Children singing Christmas
07:45APPLAUSE
07:46That was Mariah Carey shaking Stephens
07:55And the smell of TCP on your dying grandma's skin
07:58Cliff Richard
07:58Sophie's team, can you tell me which one of these Christmas legends
08:07Has created an absolutely insane Christmas recipe
08:10Is it
08:11A. Cliff Richard has a special Christmas gravy
08:14That consists of eight stock cubes
08:16Two beef, two chicken, two lamb and two vegetable
08:19He tops it off with teriyaki sauce
08:21And Worcester sauce
08:23Along with some fried onions
08:24And if you think that sounds mad
08:26He frees his jugs a bit
08:27So that his family don't miss out
08:30Or is it
08:32B. Whilst appearing on a festive edition of Sunday Brunch
08:35Shaking Stephens made gingerbread
08:37Iced with chicken liver pate
08:39He told Simon Rimmer
08:41The idea popped into my head
08:43Next thing you know
08:43I was slaughtering one of my hens
08:45When the panel tried Shaky's creation
08:47Got one dry heaved so hard
08:49They had to cut to a break
08:50Or was it C. In 2006
08:55Mariah Carey revealed
08:56She makes seafood Christmas puddings
08:59I substitute the raisins for caviar
09:01The candied peel for prawns
09:03And the brandy for tuna brine
09:05However, in 2024
09:07She admitted she hadn't made one for years
09:09Saying
09:10I'm in a much better place now mentally
09:12There you go Sophie's team
09:17One of those
09:18Incredibly is true
09:19Cliff sounds less weird now
09:22Yeah it does doesn't it
09:23Yeah
09:24So obviously you try and decipher
09:26What people are cooking
09:27By maybe like cultural heritage
09:30Right
09:30Yeah
09:30That's the way I'm looking
09:31So Cliff Richard
09:32Is this uncle um
09:33He's just straight up
09:34Why uncle
09:35Sorry
09:37I didn't expect to be asking this
09:40Do you know who Cliff Richard is
09:41Yeah but
09:42Yeah I've seen him
09:43He was the guy that was
09:44With the nice hair just now
09:45That's the guy with the nice hair
09:46So is he
09:47Because he looks a little bit like
09:48Ambiguous
09:49You get what I'm saying
09:50Yeah he's got
09:50He's got that David Dickerson tan
09:52Yeah
09:52Where you got like
09:54You second look him
09:55You go
09:55Hey wait a second
09:56Yeah
09:57Should I be saying
09:58Should I be saying
09:59Hello uncle
10:00Or hello uncle
10:01Like I don't
10:01To me they sound the same
10:03They sound the same
10:05Let me do it one more time
10:05Hello uncle
10:06Hello uncle
10:07There you go
10:08There you go
10:08Wow I could watch this all night
10:11Sorry
10:12You're not sure what race
10:13Cliff Richard is
10:14I don't think there's anyone
10:17More white than Cliff Richard
10:20What do you think
10:23So Shakin Stevens
10:24Made of gingerbread
10:25Chiffin
10:26I don't think he'd have done that
10:28Do you
10:28Chicken patty
10:29I've met Shakin
10:30If it helps
10:30I can give you some insight
10:31Into his character
10:32Please do
10:32Yeah
10:32He was pretty quiet
10:34Okay
10:35Thank you
10:37That does actually help
10:38Because if he was quiet
10:39He would have made the bold choice
10:41Of chicken liver patty
10:43With gingerbread
10:44Maybe you can rule it out
10:45Based on that alone
10:46I'll rule it out
10:47Yeah
10:47Do you think
10:48Mariah Curry
10:50Reveals she makes a seafood
10:52I don't think she ever cooks
10:53Have you met Mariah?
10:55You must have met Mariah
10:56Yeah
10:56I've worked with her
10:57She nice?
10:57Yeah she's super cool
10:58Is she?
10:59Yeah
10:59I had a friend that had a bit of a beef
11:02And I ended up putting together
11:04And they're good friends now
11:05Is it someone famous?
11:06Yeah it is
11:07Come on
11:08Come on
11:08Come on
11:09Come on
11:10Is it Cliff Richard?
11:11It is
11:12For fuck's sake it is
11:14Come on tell us Matt
11:15We won't put it in the show
11:16Of course not
11:16No
11:17Not my first rodeo mate
11:18Just say
11:19Shall I give you some facts
11:26That might help you decide?
11:27Yep
11:28In an interview
11:29Mariah was asked
11:30If she cooks her own Christmas dinner
11:32And she said this
11:33She said
11:34I do
11:35And nobody believes me
11:36And in the same interview
11:37Later she admitted
11:38Well I help
11:39And then a little bit further
11:42In the interview
11:43She said
11:43I do a bit of seasoning
11:44Jessie you
11:48Went to a lot of effort
11:49For Christmas once
11:50Didn't you?
11:50When I was pregnant
11:51I was in LA
11:53And I didn't want to come home
11:55So I flew my family to me
11:56And the plumbing in LA houses
11:59Isn't the best
12:00And there was a lot of food
12:02Consumed
12:03Which meant there was
12:03A lot of toilet trips
12:04It was rough
12:06And basically
12:07The first pipes
12:08There was literally
12:09Like shit water
12:10Coming out of the floorboards
12:12What?
12:14Yeah
12:14Here's the story
12:15You were having Christmas day
12:16But the house got full of shit
12:18Basically
12:18Yeah
12:19Because honestly
12:20The story they asked me to prompt
12:22Was that you
12:23Was that you once went abroad
12:24On holiday
12:25And you took a suitcase
12:26Full of stuffing
12:26They didn't mention
12:27A house being full of shit
12:29Oh really?
12:29Oh yeah
12:31That's a different story
12:32I mean
12:34That is another story
12:36That I said
12:36I prefer the house
12:37Full of shit one
12:38But yeah
12:38I was so pregnant
12:40I was just like
12:41Yeah I know
12:41How many months?
12:42I was five and a half months
12:44But everyone was like
12:44She was about to drop
12:45And I was like
12:45Nope
12:46Just over half way
12:48Yeah
12:48See I just had a big old baby
12:51Did you?
12:52Big as Greg
12:52Yeah
12:53Did you know in advance
12:56They keep telling me
12:57I'm having a tall baby?
12:58Well my boyfriend's tall
13:00So every scan
13:01He was just really long
13:02Yeah that's what
13:02Mine's dead long
13:03And his feet
13:04Was stuck under my ribs
13:06I'm gonna have a vagina
13:07Like a basset hound
13:08I'm really
13:11I'll tell you
13:13I'll tell you
13:13This is probably TMI
13:16But totally off
13:17But just woman to woman
13:18Baby to baby
13:18Yeah
13:19So when I prep for a natural birth
13:20I did this thing called
13:22The epi-no
13:22Where you put like a balloon in
13:24Yeah
13:24And then you blow it up
13:26To the size of a baby's head
13:27And you give birth to it
13:28Like every night
13:29For like the three weeks before
13:30Sounds knacker in there
13:32So I did that
13:33And then ended up
13:34Having a c-section
13:35So now I've got
13:39The most inappropriate
13:40Party trick
13:40It's just
13:41I'm sorry
13:43You were putting
13:44A big balloon
13:46Inside yourself
13:47And then
13:47Birthing it every day
13:48Yeah
13:49What do you reckon?
13:56Let's get back to the question
13:57We're gonna have to make
13:58A decision soon
13:59I think Cliff
14:00Just because
14:00It's the least weird
14:02I'll just throw this in for you now
14:04Because it might help you
14:05Cliff Richard
14:06Was born in India
14:07So he was born in India
14:09Yeah
14:09So what happened
14:13If you're born in India
14:14You just retain the tan
14:16For the rest of your life
14:17He was born to two
14:19White parents
14:21Well that's what he thinks
14:22Let's get an answer
14:27Is it Cliff's gravy
14:29What do you think?
14:31Is it Cliff's gravy
14:36Shakey's gingerbread pate
14:37Or Mariah's seafood pudding
14:39Sophie
14:39Let's get some points on the board
14:41You're saying Cliff
14:42You're
14:43Just quite fascinated by him being in India
14:46I'm just quite fascinated
14:47Cliff Richard
14:48Here we go
14:49It's gotta be
14:49Oh my God
14:50You're right
14:50Yeah
14:51The answer's A
14:52Well done
14:56Cliff makes his own
14:59Special disgusting gravy
15:01Sophie's team
15:03That's a point to you
15:04The next question is for Noel's team
15:11Take a look at this
15:12That was your friend's ugly baby
15:33Elton John
15:34But Noel's team
15:36Can you tell me
15:37Which of these stories
15:38Led to Elton having
15:39The worst Christmas ever
15:40Was it A
15:41In 1979 while enjoying
15:43A festive buffet
15:44Elton tried
15:45Borsan cheese
15:46For the first time
15:47Starting a love affair
15:48That quickly became an addiction
15:49He told NME
15:50By the end of the year
15:52I was eating 14 pucks a day
15:54I wasn't even using crackers
15:55I was just biting into them
15:56Like an apple
15:57Or was it me
16:01Elton went to the airport
16:02To pick up his lover
16:03Who was staying for Christmas
16:04When Elton arrived
16:05He found out
16:06That on the flight over
16:07His boyfriend had decided
16:08That he wasn't gay
16:09And run off with the air hostess
16:11Elton never saw his boyfriend again
16:13Or was it C
16:16Whilst present shopping
16:17In Harvey Nicks
16:18Elton got his head stuck
16:19In a £4,000 polar neck sweater
16:21Writing in his autobiography
16:23He said
16:24I was so embarrassed
16:25They had to cut me out
16:26With a pair of medical scissors
16:27And then they expected me
16:28To pay for it
16:29As I said at the time
16:30Is Elton John's head too big
16:32Or is your top too small
16:33Chicken and egg isn't it
16:35There you go
16:37Your team
16:37One of those is true
16:39I love that
16:41Borsan
16:42It's a puck
16:43Is it of Borsan
16:44Well I
16:45That's what Elton claims
16:46I mean the image of him
16:48Biting into it
16:48Like an apple
16:49God I hope that's the truth
16:51I think it's B
16:53Just because I think
16:54That is the thing
16:55That would ruin your Christmas
16:56Like A yeah
16:57C's a bit embarrassing
16:59But B like
17:00You know what I mean
17:01I think A
17:02That's a fight
17:02I think an addiction
17:03Is shameful
17:04Like 14 pucks
17:05That would ruin my day
17:07Do you want to be reminded
17:08What Elton looks like
17:09See if he looks like
17:09A man who'd eat cheese
17:10Like an apple
17:11Yeah
17:11Here he is
17:12Yeah
17:13I love that picture
17:16That's what my nan's face
17:17Looked like
17:18When she found out
17:18That despite Brexit
17:19We were still trading
17:20With Europe
17:21So I'll give you
17:30A few facts about Elton
17:31Then we'll make a decision
17:32Throughout the 70s
17:33Elton John and Rod Stewart
17:34Used to try and outdo
17:35Each other with Christmas gifts
17:36One Christmas
17:37Elton upstaged
17:38Rod Stewart massively
17:39In an interview
17:40Rod said
17:40I bought him
17:41A pop-up fridge
17:42From Harrods
17:43You pressed a button
17:44And there'd be steam
17:45And lights
17:46And a bottle of champagne
17:47It cost me £600
17:48He said
17:50Oh very nice
17:51Here thank you
17:51And he gave me
17:52A Rembrandt painting
17:54Oh wow
17:55Rembrandt
17:56An actual Rembrandt painting
17:58By the artist Rembrandt
18:00Fucking hell
18:00I've never felt so stingy
18:03Mad in it
18:03A Rembrandt painting
18:05Yeah
18:05Mad
18:06That one of the guy
18:07Eating a puck of cheese
18:08Love that one
18:11Let's make a decision folks
18:13What do you think
18:13A, B or C
18:14I like the idea
18:15That his head got stuck
18:16In a jumper
18:18That'd be quite nice
18:19Wouldn't it
18:19No
18:19I don't think it's polo Nick
18:20We're not getting him cut out
18:22But then it probably is
18:23Can we mix the two
18:23Could he not fit in the polo neck
18:25Because of the cheese
18:26That sodium will smile you up
18:28You think there's a chance
18:29The answer's going to be A, C
18:30Yeah
18:30It could then be B
18:32Because his boyfriend
18:33Didn't come because
18:34He got so big from the cheese
18:36Yeah
18:36The answer is A, C, B
18:40Okay
18:40So
18:41The answer is all of them
18:43Elton's boyfriend decided he wasn't gay
18:47Because Elton had eaten lots of cheese
18:49And got his head stuck in a jumper
18:50Send it up to the top, Greg
18:53I'm down for the cheese
18:56I'm down for the cheese
19:00Are you down for the cheese
19:01Or are you saying B
19:02I'm saying B
19:03I think it's B
19:04But who cares
19:05We all think it's B
19:06But we're going to say cheese anyway
19:07I think it's B as well
19:11But I think
19:11We're going to say A for fun
19:12We're going to just say A
19:14You're wrong
19:15The answer is B
19:16Yes
19:17Yes
19:17Yes
19:18Yes
19:19Yes
19:20Elton's boyfriend apparently changed sexuality
19:23Ran off with an air hostess
19:24And Elton said he's never heard from him again
19:27Yeah
19:28Hard luck Noel's team
19:32Well done Sophie's team
19:33No points to Noel
19:34One point to Sophie
19:35Hooray
19:36Time for a little break now
19:42I'm just going to have a little sip on Cliff's gravy
19:45That's not gravy
19:47That's not gravy
19:47Welcome back to Nevermind the Buzzcocks
20:02A Christmas special
20:03The show that until one hour ago
20:05Had a joke about P. Diddy's secret Santa gift in it
20:08Which our legal team sent us the following email about
20:10Please 100% lose this
20:13Six exclamation marks
20:15Next up it's the intros round
20:17Here we go
20:18Noel and Jessie on your feet please
20:19You'll be performing the intro of a song
20:21To Jamali
20:22Song one
20:24Take it away
20:24Jamali, what do you think?
20:47I don't know
20:48I can't remember the note now
20:52I can pass this over
20:56Get ready to steal
20:57It's the worst I've ever sung ever
20:58Jamali, I'll give you one last guess
21:01I'm going to pass it over
21:01Yeah, pass it
21:02Okay
21:02Rock and around the Christmas tree
21:05Rocking around
21:06That is right!
21:08CHEERING
21:09It was Rocking Around the Christmas Tree
21:13By Brenda Lee
21:14And here's how it should have sounded
21:16CHEERING
21:16That was Brenda Lee with Rocking Around the Christmas Tree
21:26Brenda Lee once said
21:27To me Christmas is about loading up on meat
21:30And then farting like a tractor all day
21:32She did not say that
21:33But you try and find a funny Brenda Lee quote
21:35Next song please
21:38Song two
21:38Take it away
21:39SING LONG
21:44SING LONG
21:50Oh, that was shit
21:50SING LONG
21:51SING LONG
21:55Yeah, there we go
21:56SING LONG
22:01SING LONG
22:03SING LONG
22:04Shimali
22:05Jamali sang about sleigh yes what about a sleigh what do you do on a sleigh
22:14flying on the sleigh no there's a snowman next to me on the sleigh you've
22:19got I'm going to tell you you've got the word sleigh right and if you don't
22:21get this up I'm passing it over ah fucking sleigh swimming happy Christmas
22:31everyone sleigh swimming sleigh I'm passing it over sleigh bells ringing wrong
22:37you're both wrong it was sleigh rides by the Ronettes here's how it should have
22:41sound it
22:48that was sleigh ride by the Ronettes which was included on the album a Christmas gift for you from
23:05Phil Spector which sounds a lot nicer than the Christmas gift I got from him one year I wanted
23:09Lego Phil what the hell am I supposed to do with a corpse okay
23:13well done you guessed nought correct
23:19all right Sophie and Matt it's your turn to perform to Guz song one take it away
23:28dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun
23:58in the song though what is it is it like um like knight rider no that's what i tell you what
24:05it does sound like knight rider but that's what was in my head do you know i'm going to pass it
24:08over i'm going to say knight rider ba-da ba-da ba-da ba-da ba-da ba night rider it's definitely
24:14not knight rider oh it's so there in my head listen you're both wrong it was the waitresses
24:23with christmas wrapping let's hear how it should have sounded
24:40that was christmas wrapping by the waitresses in 2015 carly minot covered the song with iggy pop
24:46while she thought it was iggy pop it turned out to be an old dog tube from behind the sofa that
24:50absolutely honked next song please if this one is knight rider i'm gonna shit on the stage
25:07this is good this sounds like the song
25:11you're not gonna get this this guitar riff by matt goss is absolutely bang on
25:23nope no no no you can't see me by tupac chakor
25:27so so close i'll pass it over yeah you just when is it the one the the crackhead in it
25:40talking about shay mcgowan yeah shay mcgowan yeah it's it's not the one with the crackhead in it
25:46you know no night rider i wish it were night rider you're both wrong it's christmas time
25:52by the darkness here's how it should have said that was christmas time by the darkness justin
26:09hawkins once said i think the more successful you are the bigger your hair gets and he's right
26:13that's why the jackson five was so successful well it was their hair and their dad beating them with a
26:18stick yeah i know sophie's team hooray naught correct at the end of that round noel's team have no
26:29points but sophie's team have two points the next game is called ziggasaguar
26:42and it's a game all about the weird isolated bits in songs released at christmas time
26:47we're going to play five sounds from five songs and all you need to do as teams is to name the
26:52songs that the strange sounds come from you get a point for each one you name correctly noel's team
26:58you're up first here is your mashup listen to this
27:01i think that's surfing usa is that is that teletubbies or mr blobby i say mr blobby well well i think
27:21it's mr blobby if you look at it well i'll tell you now correct one point yes so mr blobby yeah last christmas
27:28uh no no we have it one more time yeah one more time
27:48what was that till sound of the underground correct two points surfing in the usa nope oh oh i'm out that's
27:57all we got okay two i'll pass it over some extra points here sound of the underground they've
28:02already got that one i wish it could be christmas correct yeah for a stolen point yeah you've got
28:11one no you're all right i thought i thought i just had a stroke um um no is it um cat amongst the pigeons
28:21it isn't cat amongst the pigeons no no sound of the underground we did have another one if anyone
28:26else says sound of the underground what about um that that dj spin was it no no boom boom shake shake
28:34the room is what i was thinking because that starts with a what that down where down that sound of the
28:38underground what one did you what did you get that one should we end this yeah okay so the full list
28:51is wizard i wish it could be christmas every day mr blobby by mr blobby band-aid do they know it's
28:57christmas i can't believe you didn't pick boy george out girls allowed the sound of the underground i
29:02think we've established we got that one and the final one was south park with mr hanky the christmas
29:08poo well done nolts team got two points and sophie's team picked up a bonus point
29:20all right sophie's team your turn here's your mashup
29:30oh
29:37there you go you get the guesses first so the first one yeah i've lost my brain
29:41let's twist again one of them do you want to hear it again no no um oh fuck something's happened
29:46do you want to hear it again sorry so did you say fuck something's happened yeah yeah something i was i
29:52have three then could we hear it again here again yeah god
30:06i have no idea i think this baby brain thing is actually real you'll be all right
30:11um genuinely um yeah fucking whitney houston sings um uh what does she sing so i will always love you
30:21correct one point um and then we went to matt any matt but that's but i thought it was that it is
30:29i thought it was a twist again but it isn't it it's not you just kept saying that at me no but is it
30:33sorry it was a bomb bomb bomb that's a christmas number isn't it because i'm just a bit concerned
30:41for sophie's general welfare to be honest yeah yeah yeah
30:43i won't do what you tell me bloody hell yeah that one what's the song called oh uh uh oh
30:52fucking um um it was it was the christmas number one do you need a cup of tea sophie
30:58no you don't don't song it's hash it over greg do what you tell me okay hash it over gregory
31:05um you've got i will always love you that points in the back all right is it killing in the name of it is
31:13killing in the name of and is it the frog song paul mccartney the frog crazy frog the frog chorus it is the frog
31:23chorus yes you've got two left and then is there re petite yes it is re petite yeah
31:35you've only got one missing i know is it the one or did you get that no that's re petite it's not
31:41crazy fog no you're not gonna get it okay i'll tell you who they all were it was whitney houston i
31:48will always love you sophie's team got that yeah rage against the machine killing in the name of
31:52no steam got that bob the build is the one you all missed can we fix it jackie wilson re petite paul
31:59mccartney the frog chorus yeah so sophie's team got one point and noel's team got three points
32:10at the end of that round sophie's team have four points noel's team have five points
32:15time for a quick break i've just got to pop off and wrap my niece's christmas present
32:29welcome back to never mind the buscox christmas special you want another legal note don't you
32:46this is a genuine quote from our lawyer i can't find any record of christopher doing drugs i know it's a
32:51fake anecdote but please lose the bit about him being on the gag again happy christmas our next round
32:59is called it's behind you a game celebrating the christmas tradition of panto noel's team you're
33:05playing first everyone please make your way to the game area all right noel's team behind you there is
33:18a pop star who is appearing in panto this christmas each of sophie's team is going to tell you who it
33:24is but two of them will be lying it is your job to work out who is telling the truth for the audience
33:30at home please look away now if you don't want to know who it is as i reveal the panto star
33:37who is behind the curtain this is a lady called faye from steps
33:51sophie who is behind the curtain lee ryan matt who is behind the curtain toy wilcox why have they all
33:59said it like the person's diet is lee ryan the blonde hair one from blue yes was he saying something
34:06vaguely racist did he say sorry no no no no no no he's a good guy yeah i like him but he's a good
34:18guy um what was what was lee ryan wearing he was in costume and he had his winkle pickers on was he
34:25dressed as an elf no i think he was somebody who was in jack and the beanstalk probably was toya there
34:32toya was there yeah um how tall is she she's probably five foot two i think she she's wearing
34:40fishnets and high boots yeah you lying absolutely
34:44oh my god that was good because what character is faye playing faye from steps is
34:59maid marion in robin hood so what was she wearing like maid marion clothes like you know
35:05you know the long sleeves and that medieval shit yeah medieval shit and she had shoes on and stuff
35:13i don't know i don't believe you all right
35:19he's lying so much and he's pretending so much that it's not his one
35:24gus could be telling the truth that's what i think i think you're telling the truth
35:28i thought you said i was lying no but i mean in a sense of double bluffing like you're making it seem
35:32like you don't know but you do should i tell you the truth i didn't even know this show was about
35:35music so don't take what i say seriously i don't really know what's happening
35:41i've got five kids at home i didn't tell my wife i was leaving the house i'm in a lot of trouble
35:46it could be toya you know have you met toya before
35:50i've met her so many times and you said she's how how tall five two ish
35:56he seemed like a man who would know a woman's height just by looking
35:59he could really just
36:05what character is she playing puss in boots i think it's funny he said puss i might have to go with
36:10that one
36:10that's a funny word it's a funny word it's a great word it's a great word now i think
36:16whose was yours again lee ryan yes yeah yeah i hope not because i said that thing at the beginning
36:23yeah that's gonna be awkward all right now no team it's time to decide so i'm going with guys
36:31that's me yeah i think it is all right we'll go faye with from lovely all right let's see if you're
36:36right will our panto star please step through the curtain
36:40you're right it's faye tozer from steps
36:53hello my god you're all really good all right all right yeah very good thank you how are you all right
37:01merry christmas merry christmas to you as well yeah you're in pantomime already we're going
37:07through to the um first of february in uh birmingham at the hip dome wow yeah get sparkly and fun for
37:13christmas what a welcome christmas edition faye from step cheers robin hood robin hood it's till the
37:23first of february can i say matt goss was amazing he was great i knew it was faye tozer and i started
37:35to think it might be toyer okay sophie's team's turn so if you could swap places teams good luck kids
37:42to the audience at home please look away if you don't want to know who it is
37:54noel's team starting with jamali please tell us who is behind the curtain it's bez from happy mondays
38:02playing widow tranky in aladdin and can i say before i go further my god i hope that's true
38:09noel who's behind the curtain it's terry from east 17 and he's playing buttons in cinderella
38:18see that jesse who's behind the curtain um it's kelly from eternal she's playing the fairy in sleeping
38:25beauty you read that really really badly which means you're lying did i oh she did it quite well you did
38:32no you because you you're really quick you know yeah yeah she might just read badly are you ruling
38:39out that's from the happy button days yeah yeah i am sadly yeah yeah i'm ruling it out why are you
38:45ruling out what's wrong with you is he all right i don't know i just can't that's a good point actually
38:50what part would he play in a pennant match um widow twanky
38:54you saw him at the back actually yeah you did and i said to him i said oh you're playing widow
39:00twanky and he went oh yeah yeah mad for it yeah mad for it i think it's terry for me 17. buttons
39:07in cinderella he had sort of a military outfit with big different colored buttons on it what color
39:12buttons was yeah i think it was yellow red and blue so you caught that all in mungo well i just noticed
39:18the buttons because the outfit is sort of like a maroon and then oh it's a maroon and yellow what
39:23hell of a band a detective show called goss sounds great yeah it's just him slapping people going
39:31slick i'm on your team you're making me want to say no comment you're nervous bro j j who who was
39:39your person again kelly from eternal and she's no no fairy and sleeping beauty right what was she wearing
39:46a blue dress and she had a wand i think we should go with kelly just tell me just tell me the truth
39:51i'm your boy captain you're captain i think you should i trust your instinct i'm sorry there's the
39:56whole thing going on here with good girls whispering to jamaali just tell me the truth i'm your boy
40:09so so team captain we've fought with our friends jesse j all right you're saying it's jesse j
40:15she knows the truth the person behind the curtain is kelly from eternal kelly from eternal let's
40:21see if you're right will our panto star please step out oh it's jesse was telling the truth apart from
40:45the dress bit that was my favorite song going on angel it's a good alphabet when i first saw i already
40:53knew yeah come on that there was something inside of you oh such a good song something i thought i'd never
41:04find angel of mine
41:12i love it i love it i don't want to spoil that but could we do it again with sophie beatboxing
41:21jesse was telling the truth and you can catch kelly at the floral pavilion in new brighton
41:25playing fairy snowfall in sleeping beauty until the 4th of january thank you kelly
41:37join me
41:37and at the end of that round sophie's team have five points and noel's team have six points
41:50so far final round it's time for next lines noel's team your time starts now have yourself a merry
41:58christmas let your heart be light have yourself a merry little christmas let your heart be light
42:03from now on all your troubles here we go from now on all your troubles will be outside frank sinatra
42:08have yourself a merry little christmas old mr crinkle is soon gonna jingle soon gonna jingle
42:14the bells that'll jingle all your troubles away yes jesse jay the man with the bag
42:21christmas time mistletoe and wine children screaming christian
42:25christmas without you to hold it's shaking stevens no it'll be lonely this christmas without you to
42:40hold it'll be lonely this christmas without you i'll give it you lonely and cold mud lonely this
42:47christmas christmas i see a little silhouette of a man will you do the thunder yes queen bohemian
42:55it's the sound of the underground it's the sound of the underground
42:59three petite the finest girl you're ever gonna meet the beat the beat of the drum goes round
43:04around girls allowed sound of the underground
43:06all right well done now's team you've got four points circus team you've got to get six right
43:22to win right here we go you ready yeah your time starts now baby if you've got to go away don't think
43:29i could take the pain stay now stay now stay another day he's 17 stay another day when will
43:38i will i be famous oh i can't answer that bros when will i be famous when will i see my picture
43:46in the paper i can't answer that correct bros where will i be famous welcome to my christmas song
43:53welcome to my christmas song i'd like to thank you for the year elton john step into christmas bob the
44:03builder can we fix it yes we can yes we can bob the builder yes we can we can fix it i really can't
44:10stay but maybe it's cold outside i have to go yeah yeah i have to get home i've got
44:19it's not it's not right but turn me on i've got to go away dean martin baby it's cold
44:35that sound means it's the end of the round and the end of the show and i can tell you that sophie's
44:40team have nine points but with 10 points our winners tonight are noel's team
44:50thanks to jesse jay no jamali guzz sophie and matt
44:57it's 40 years this year since live aid so we've done our best to recreate do they know it's christmas
45:03this was our plan ask the original singers to take part if any of them say no we'll replace them with
45:08professional tribute acts see if you can work out who we've had to replace happy christmas good night
45:23it's christmas time christmas christmas there's no need to be afraid don't be afraid at christmas time
45:33in the christmas time in the christmas time we let light in and we banish the shade
45:39banish him banish him
45:39in our world are plenty we can spread a smile of joy throw your arms around the world at christmas time
45:55and pray for the other one at christmas time it's hard but when you're having fun
46:10fun there's a world outside your window and it's a world of dread and fear
46:24heaven is
46:32instead of you
46:34instead of you
46:38Be the world
46:42Let them know it's Christmas time
46:46Be the world
46:50Let them know it's Christmas time
46:54Be the world
46:58Let them know it's Christmas time
47:02It's time again
47:32It's time again
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