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Never Mind The Buzzcocks Season 5 Episode 1
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00:00...was Britain reborn.
00:05Hello, Bears.
00:06Hey.
00:07Hello, hello.
00:31Welcome to Nevermind the Buzzcocks, Manchester versus Britpop.
00:37...joining Noel on Team Britpop.
00:44...an award-winning actress, singer and Britpop queen
00:48who said that meeting David Bowie on the set of Absolute Beginners
00:51was the most erotic experience of her life.
00:54For me, it was a Bedouin tent on the Arabian Peninsula.
00:57And let's just say, those boys do not moisturise their hands.
01:01Let's go, she can's it!
01:03...and Alan Kinchmarsh is mad for Pampas.
01:11Monty Don can't get enough Wild Meadow,
01:13but for me, there's only one Supergrass,
01:15and here's their drummer, Britpop's own Danny Goffey!
01:19...joining Jamali on Team Manchester tonight.
01:27A DJ, radio presenter, and keyboardist
01:32for the iconic 90s band in Spiral Carpets
01:35who says that while touring with the band, EMF,
01:37he witnessed one of them put a lime in his foreskin.
01:40Big deal.
01:40Since Sainsbury started charging for their carrier bags,
01:43I get my weekly shop in mind.
01:44It's Clint Boone!
01:52And their guest captain for this evening.
01:55The legendary Maracca Man of Happy Mondays and Manchester Royalty.
01:59In his heyday, he turned down Julia Roberts' advances in a club.
02:03But I suspect he probably just cobbled 14 ecstasy tablets,
02:06so it might not have been Julia Roberts,
02:07it might have been a yucca plant.
02:09And it might not have been a club,
02:10it might have been a transit van.
02:11Who knows?
02:12He doesn't!
02:13It's Bez!
02:19Over the course of this evening,
02:21we will decide once and for all
02:23which was the better cultural phenomena of the 90s,
02:25the chemical haze of Manchester
02:26or the lager-fuelled swagger of Britpop.
02:28Trigger warning,
02:29I have to mention drugs a lot tonight,
02:31otherwise we'll have nothing to talk about.
02:34Welcome, everyone.
02:35You all right?
02:35Nice to be here.
02:36Lovely to be here, yeah.
02:36Lovely to have you, Clint.
02:38Bez, you all right?
02:38I'm really excited to be here.
02:40How do you feel about being Team Captain?
02:42I feel the pressure of it,
02:43but I'm sure I can handle it, you know what I mean?
02:45Do you feel...
02:45I've done bigger jobs.
02:50Let's talk Manchester for a bit, Bez.
02:52A lot was made of your drug use in the 90s,
02:54you know,
02:54you must get sick of being labelled with that.
02:57Well, you know what,
02:57the Persian rugs,
02:59it was actually the making of me.
03:01Well,
03:01I found a picture of you,
03:02it's lovely,
03:03any family would be absolutely delighted with it.
03:04Have a look.
03:05Back in the day,
03:12you actually gave me a pair of your maracas.
03:14Did I?
03:14Yeah,
03:15and signed them.
03:15And when I say maracas, Greg,
03:17I mean testicles.
03:19They're in a little cabinet at home.
03:22Bez,
03:22just tell us what happened
03:23when the Happy Mondays got sent to Barbados,
03:25will you?
03:25You got sent to record an album, right?
03:27Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
03:28And paid.
03:29Well, you know what,
03:30it was being sent there
03:31because it was apparently,
03:32you know,
03:33a drug-free island.
03:34Yeah.
03:35What a mistake that was,
03:36you know what I mean?
03:38My understanding of it
03:39is that you sold the recording equipment
03:41so you could buy drugs.
03:44Well,
03:44we got a great album out of it.
03:46What did it get recorded on?
03:48I think it might be an album you've imagined.
03:52Bez,
03:53I can't wait to see how you lead this team.
03:55It's Bez,
03:55ladies and gentlemen,
03:56what a treat.
03:58Clint Boone is here
04:01to Inspiral Carpets,
04:04one of my favourite bands.
04:05You and Bez are good mates,
04:07is that right?
04:0738 years,
04:08I think,
04:09since we met
04:09and since then,
04:10we've, like,
04:11regularly gigged together
04:12with our bands,
04:13we'd DJ all the time,
04:15did three gigs with him last week.
04:16Proper bangers,
04:17you know what I mean?
04:18I love Inspiral Carpets,
04:20but I just don't imagine
04:21that you were as off your heads
04:23as that lot,
04:23were you?
04:23We didn't need to.
04:24If you were just within three foot of him,
04:25you were stoned
04:26or battered
04:27or off your tits.
04:29What's the maddest thing
04:30you were involved with
04:31when you were with the Inspirals?
04:32Is it the one
04:32where I shat in a teapot?
04:33That's the one, yeah.
04:34Yeah.
04:36It was in a hotel
04:42in Swiss Cottage.
04:43I just want that
04:46to be the end
04:46of the story.
04:48Why did you sit in a teapot?
04:50I was bored,
04:51I was drunk
04:51and it was rock and roll.
04:52Tick.
04:53Three ticks.
04:55I've pissed in a carol.
04:58And that's why
04:59I never drink tea
05:00in all those whole rooms.
05:02Desi Manor's been in this.
05:03Yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:04Clint Boone,
05:05ladies and gentlemen.
05:10Ritpop queen,
05:12Patsy Kenseth is here.
05:18There's certain images
05:19that just sum up that period,
05:21I think,
05:21and you know the one
05:22that you're forever associated with
05:24who I think is so cool.
05:25Have a look at Patsy Kenseth
05:26back in the day.
05:27Do you remember that?
05:28It was a moment.
05:31It was a moment.
05:33It was a moment.
05:33Let's bring you back
05:34down to earth, though.
05:35What happened
05:35with the golf cart
05:36on the M1?
05:39Liam and I
05:40had started
05:41seeing each other
05:42and it was just as
05:43What's the Story?
05:44Morning Glory had come out.
05:45So it was growing,
05:46you know?
05:47And so we went
05:49to Nebworth
05:49and did the first night
05:52and it was,
05:53you know,
05:53spectacular.
05:55And Liam and I
05:57forgot that there was
05:58a show the next day
05:58so we decided
06:00to have a bit
06:01of a late night
06:02and nick
06:04a golf buggy
06:05from backstage
06:06and drive out
06:08onto this deserted
06:10massive field.
06:12And Liam's going,
06:12yeah,
06:13I'll do a fucking right
06:14yet,
06:14do a right,
06:14do a left.
06:16So I'm driving
06:17the buggy cart
06:18and then next thing
06:20I know
06:20is like we're
06:21on a main road
06:22literally
06:23onto the M1
06:25on a golf cart
06:27and he's going
06:28with me,
06:28yeah,
06:29do a fucking
06:29U-turn.
06:31Do a U-turn?
06:32And I said,
06:32I can't fucking
06:33do a U-turn.
06:34It's a fucking
06:35golf buggy.
06:36What do you want
06:37me to fucking do?
06:38Anyway,
06:39the police,
06:40they pulled us over
06:41and they said,
06:42hello,
06:43Mr Gallagher,
06:44I think you've
06:46rather lost your way,
06:47haven't you?
06:47And we were both
06:48eyes out on stalks,
06:50obviously.
06:51Yes,
06:52we have,
06:53please take us back
06:54and don't come
06:55into the caravan.
06:59Because there could
07:00be contraband.
07:01If at the end
07:02of this story,
07:02Patsy,
07:03someone doesn't
07:03shit in a teapot.
07:05Yeah,
07:05there's more,
07:06but I'm not going
07:07to take it
07:09to the grave.
07:15Danny from
07:15Supergrass is here.
07:21We are young.
07:23We're not,
07:23are we, Danny?
07:24Not we are.
07:25We're not.
07:26Was it mental
07:27with the Supergrass
07:27back in the day?
07:29Yeah.
07:29We're fairly hedonistic.
07:31Were you?
07:31Yeah.
07:32Because I've got to be honest,
07:33Danny,
07:33you've been on the show
07:33before,
07:34you're a delightful man.
07:35I just think
07:35you're a lovely uncle
07:36who whittles in a shed.
07:38So you need to tell me
07:39some rock and roll
07:40stuff that happened.
07:41My earliest rock and roll
07:42memory was with these two.
07:44I was a big fan
07:45of Clint and Spiral Carpets
07:46when I was about 15.
07:47I did my first acid trip
07:48at one of his gigs.
07:50You took acid
07:50when you were 15?
07:51Jesus Christ,
07:52I was uncomfortable
07:53with the show,
07:53but damn.
07:56We were chatting
07:57before about
07:58when I first met
07:59you and Gaz.
08:00Yeah.
08:01We always remembered it.
08:02Even before you became famous,
08:03we remembered these little kids,
08:04you know what I mean?
08:05And then you sat on the front
08:06of the stage
08:07right through the gig,
08:07didn't you?
08:08Like that,
08:08looking up.
08:09I remember your singer Tom
08:10just going scruffing my head
08:12at the front going,
08:13this is where this little
08:13mentalist at the front
08:14he ain't stopped jumping.
08:15And I was just like,
08:16yeah!
08:17My first thought would be like,
08:19why are these little two kids
08:20high on acid?
08:22You need someone
08:23to call their parents.
08:26Jamali,
08:26what were you up to
08:27in the 90s
08:27when the slot
08:28were all off their heads?
08:29Oh, mate,
08:30fuck,
08:30getting on it.
08:32No,
08:32I was born in 91,
08:34so I wouldn't do nothing.
08:36Don't make out
08:37you weren't having a wild time,
08:38we've got proof.
08:39Oh, fuck!
08:40Oh, fuck!
08:40Oh, fuck!
08:41Oh, fuck!
08:41Oh, fuck!
08:50Let's crack on!
08:52Calm down, Buzz.
08:53First question.
08:54Knowles team,
08:54your Britpop question
08:56is all about
08:56these music legends.
08:57Take a look at this.
08:58Slip inside
09:00the eye of your mind
09:03Don't you know
09:04you might find
09:06A better place to play
09:09And after all
09:12You're my wonder one
09:17There they are!
09:24Of course,
09:25that's right,
09:26it wouldn't be Britpop
09:27without featuring
09:27the hairy potatoes
09:28at the back of the cupboard
09:29Oasis.
09:30But,
09:31can you tell me
09:32how a member of Oasis
09:33got into a pickle
09:34due to a medical complaint?
09:36Was it A,
09:37they had to cancel a gig once
09:38because Bonehead
09:39fell into a river
09:39and got Viles disease?
09:41Knowles said,
09:42I'm not very good
09:42at the Manchester accent,
09:43full disclosure.
09:44There's no way!
09:45He said A.
09:59There's no way
10:00the gig could have
10:01gone ahead.
10:02His hands swelled up
10:03like Mickey Mouse's
10:04and that mouse
10:05had some big fucking hands.
10:08Was it B,
10:09at the Sixth Sense premiere,
10:11Noel missed the twist
10:12as he was in the loo
10:13with IBS.
10:13He said,
10:14I spoke to that kid
10:15from the film.
10:16Afterwards,
10:17he asked,
10:17did you guess he was dead
10:18and I had no idea
10:20what the fuck
10:20he was talking about.
10:21So I patted him
10:22on the head
10:23and slowly walked away.
10:24Shit film,
10:25shit night,
10:26although I did meet
10:27the Boddington's girl.
10:29Or was it C,
10:30whilst playing Glastonbury
10:32for the first time,
10:33Liam experienced
10:34the spicy flare-up
10:35of his psoriasis
10:36on his scalp.
10:37Two fans mistook
10:38his flaky skin
10:39for coke
10:39and decided
10:40they'd hoover it up.
10:42Liam said,
10:43they were taking it
10:44out of my hair
10:44and putting it
10:45on their gums
10:45and up their fucking noses.
10:47So there you go,
10:48there's your three.
10:49What do you think?
10:49Did Bonad get big hands?
10:52Well, I love that.
10:53I'd love it
10:54if he did have big hands.
10:56I think that sounds
10:57like Noel.
10:58Yeah, B's sort of
10:59in Noel's voice,
11:00isn't it?
11:00What, the Boddington's girl
11:01sounds like Noel,
11:02doesn't it?
11:02Exactly.
11:03I think B,
11:04I don't think C.
11:06You don't think fans
11:07were snorting
11:08his psoriasis
11:09on his head?
11:11Were you there?
11:12You might have been there.
11:13Glastonbury,
11:14erm...
11:16You were,
11:16because look how long
11:17it's taken you
11:18to remember.
11:20Well, you would know
11:21whether Liam had
11:21psoriasis on the scalp.
11:23Well, I mean,
11:24that's like asking
11:24a doctor about
11:25their patients.
11:28Sounds like
11:29he was flaky as fuck.
11:32I couldn't possibly
11:33tell you something
11:34like that.
11:36Hey, Bez,
11:37I've been told
11:38by the researchers
11:38that you had
11:39a medical thing
11:40that made me laugh
11:41for exactly one hour
11:42afterwards.
11:43What was it?
11:44Well, I had
11:44nearly the strangest
11:46rock and roll
11:46death ever,
11:47you know what I mean?
11:48Back out in a shoulder,
11:49overdose.
11:50That's right.
11:51Yeah, yeah, yeah.
11:52And all the things.
11:54Honestly,
11:55anyway,
11:55I had these
11:56sardines
11:58and I got this
11:59like really bad
11:59stomachache after
12:00and I've heard
12:01like bicarbate
12:02soda sorts
12:03you right out.
12:04So I ran
12:04downstairs,
12:05got a big
12:06heap spoon
12:07of bicarbate
12:08and soda,
12:09put it in my water,
12:10next it down,
12:11flush straight away,
12:12back end,
12:12front end,
12:13sorted.
12:14And next thing
12:14I felt this thing
12:15in my stomach,
12:16I thought it's
12:17like a little bit
12:18left,
12:18I'll do a bit more.
12:19So I got another
12:20tablespoon of
12:21bicarbate
12:22and soda,
12:23put it in there,
12:24neck that down
12:25and like,
12:26well,
12:26fucking hell,
12:27it's getting worse.
12:28So I did another,
12:29I did another
12:30tablespoon of it
12:31and next minute
12:33I spent like
12:33the next like
12:3424 hours
12:35like remember
12:36them volcanoes
12:37with like
12:38the guy
12:40had like
12:40just froth
12:41came out of it.
12:45And you know
12:46what I found
12:46out later
12:47they cleaned
12:47drains out
12:48of the shit
12:48and all that
12:49you know
12:49I mean I could
12:51have had a hundred
12:52guesses
12:53about what you took
12:55that almost killed you.
12:56Yeah, yeah, yeah.
12:57Okay,
12:58let's get back
12:58to the Gallaghers.
12:59They might have
13:00buried their hatchet
13:01now but it hasn't
13:02always been the case.
13:03Noel once said
13:03about his mum
13:04I liked her
13:05until she gave birth
13:05to Liam.
13:07It's a genuine quote.
13:11Trent,
13:11Noel Gallagher
13:12was your roadie
13:13is that right?
13:13Yeah.
13:14Did he get kidnapped?
13:15What's that?
13:16Yeah, so the
13:16minibus with the
13:17spirals in a knoll
13:18was in London
13:19and a bit of a
13:20traffic jam
13:20and about two or
13:22three vehicles ahead
13:22was a Luton van
13:24and our drummer
13:25Craig had been
13:27mithering for ages
13:28for a cooler fan
13:29you know to cool him
13:30down on stage
13:31and we couldn't
13:31afford one
13:32and the one thing
13:33in the back
13:33of this van
13:34with the door open
13:35was a cooler fan
13:36in a box.
13:38The van's at the
13:38red light
13:39and our bus
13:40is a couple
13:40of vehicles behind.
13:42Craig says
13:43Noel,
13:44there's one of them
13:44fucking fans
13:46that I want
13:46go and get it.
13:47So Noel jumps
13:48out the van
13:48runs round
13:49to the Luton
13:50climbs in the
13:50back of it
13:51picks the fan up
13:52and then the
13:53lights change to
13:53green
13:54and the fucking
13:55drives off
13:55and Noel
13:57suddenly like
13:58so he went
14:01missing for like
14:02half an hour
14:03and found him
14:04still at the
14:05pedestrian crossing
14:06in Crouch End
14:06with a fucking
14:07fan in it
14:08on.
14:08OK, I think we
14:10need to get on.
14:11I think we need
14:11to guess.
14:12Oh, God, the
14:13question.
14:14What was it?
14:16I would love it
14:17if Oasis fans
14:18were trying to
14:19snort Liam's
14:21psoriasis off of
14:21his shoulders.
14:22That's hilarious.
14:24I think B.
14:25You don't think
14:25it was maybe
14:26Bonehead's big hands?
14:27I don't remember
14:28clown hands.
14:29But you think
14:30it's number two,
14:31don't you?
14:31I think it's number
14:32two.
14:32I think it's number
14:33two.
14:33OK, I think it's C
14:35but they see if
14:35you can see.
14:36All right, well,
14:38you are wrong.
14:41The answer is C.
14:44Liam Gallagher's
14:45fans bestook
14:46his psoriasis
14:47for good sake
14:48and they snorted
14:50it off him.
14:52Did anyone here
14:53go to the
14:53Oasis reunion?
14:55I did, yeah.
14:56I've never seen
14:56anything like it.
14:57The atmosphere
14:58was unbelievable.
14:59The vibe
15:00throughout the city
15:01even through the day
15:01was like biblical.
15:03It's a bit of a
15:04cliche but it's
15:05just, because
15:05it's the biggest
15:06feel-good story
15:07of the decade,
15:08isn't it?
15:08I did watch
15:08the pirate stream
15:09with someone's
15:10TikTok live.
15:12It was shaky
15:13but I've got the vibe.
15:14Yeah.
15:18Have you been?
15:19Did you go?
15:19No, because I
15:21watched the whole
15:21thing unfold
15:22and it was so
15:23magical,
15:25those memories.
15:26And I haven't
15:27seen Liam
15:28for nearly 26
15:29years but
15:30I'm so happy
15:32for Lennon,
15:33our son,
15:34because he's
15:34just gone
15:35to watch
15:36this cultural
15:37explosion
15:38and I
15:39couldn't be
15:40happier
15:41for the band
15:42and for all
15:43the people
15:43that are
15:43rediscovering
15:44them.
15:44It's so nice
15:45to see two
15:45brothers make
15:46up, isn't it?
15:47It's beautiful.
15:48Because I don't
15:48know about you,
15:48I was an
15:49arsehole to my
15:49sister.
15:51Well done,
15:52Oasis!
15:52Yes.
15:53Well done!
15:59Hard luck,
15:59no point for you
16:01there.
16:01There's his team.
16:02Take a look at
16:03this.
16:03That was Pass Me
16:20the Big Bowl,
16:25this kid's head is
16:26massive, Tim Burgess
16:27and the charlatans.
16:28But can you tell me
16:30what intimate
16:31experience did the
16:32band like to engage
16:33in?
16:33Was it A,
16:35before a show,
16:36the band would share
16:36a cocktail of each
16:37other's urine?
16:38Guitarist Mark
16:39Collins said,
16:40we nicknamed it
16:41Dr. Bladder's
16:41Lucky Homebrew,
16:42so that no one knew
16:44what we were up to.
16:45God knows where the
16:45idea came from,
16:46drugs probably,
16:47but it really did
16:48change me as a man,
16:49friend and a father.
16:50Or was it B,
16:53the band would blow
16:54cocaine up each
16:55other's bumholes?
16:57The technique required
16:58one paper cone,
16:59one thick straw
17:00and one Rizla paper.
17:02They called it,
17:03genuinely,
17:04Cocainous.
17:06A phrase coined
17:08by frontman Tim Burgess
17:09who said,
17:10yeah,
17:11I just made it up,
17:12two words,
17:12throw them together,
17:13portmanteau.
17:13Is that what they
17:14call it?
17:15C,
17:15was it,
17:16when stressed,
17:18the band would
17:18calm themselves down
17:19by fingering and
17:20sniffing each other's
17:21belly buttons?
17:22Bassist Martin Blunt
17:23said,
17:24it takes you out of
17:25your head and puts
17:25you right in the
17:26moment.
17:27When I pop my pinky
17:28in,
17:29I know the second I
17:30inhale that aroma,
17:31life will just make
17:32a little more sense.
17:34There it is.
17:36What do you think?
17:37Could you imagine
17:37them fingering
17:38each other's belly buttons?
17:39I could imagine
17:39every one of them
17:41things happening
17:41before the show.
17:42What,
17:43sticking your finger
17:43in someone's belly button?
17:44I was going to say,
17:45I think B sounds
17:46like a waste of
17:47coke,
17:47you've just got to
17:47numb ass.
17:49Isn't it good
17:50to put drugs
17:50up your bottom,
17:51Noel?
17:52Yeah,
17:52it's not bad.
17:53It's sport,
17:53it's sportless.
17:55Apparently Stevie
17:56Nick's roadie
17:57used to blow
17:58coats for her arms.
17:58Famous for it,
17:59yeah.
17:59McDonald,
18:00McDonald's straw.
18:02I mean,
18:03the thing is,
18:04I wouldn't know,
18:05but you want to
18:06make sure that you
18:07blow and you
18:08don't suck.
18:11That's really,
18:12I've got to be
18:13honest,
18:13Patsy,
18:14you don't need to
18:14be an expert
18:15to know that.
18:16All this chat
18:18about blowing coke
18:19and getting someone
18:19to blow coke
18:20over you
18:20made me realise,
18:20I don't actually
18:21have any real
18:21good friends.
18:23I can't think
18:24of one friend
18:25that I could
18:25call up and be like,
18:26brother,
18:26I need a hit.
18:27No,
18:27no.
18:27I'm not going to
18:28do it.
18:28No.
18:30Like,
18:30as you think of the
18:31fault,
18:31you get a knock
18:32on the doorbell
18:32and it's no
18:33destroy.
18:33what about this notion
18:39that they might have
18:39drunk each other's piss?
18:42It's a thing that
18:43though,
18:43isn't it?
18:44People on these
18:45weird things and
18:46they drink their own
18:46piss.
18:47You might understand
18:48this.
18:49How are they
18:49benefiting from
18:50drinking each other's
18:51bits?
18:51Like,
18:52I like the smell
18:52of my belly button,
18:53I get that,
18:54and I can imagine
18:54blowing coke up my
18:56asshole probably
18:57would be nice.
18:57It would be easy
19:00to do your
19:01ass up.
19:10It's like going
19:10under a bridge.
19:13I'm glad you made
19:14it clear it was a
19:15tall thing.
19:15I thought you
19:16were just saying
19:16I had a big
19:17asshole.
19:20What do you
19:20think,
19:21Bez?
19:21Yeah,
19:22I'm not too
19:22sure.
19:23It's really,
19:23I'd like,
19:24I'd,
19:24I'd,
19:24I'd worried
19:25that they were
19:26doing any of
19:26them three
19:27things.
19:27Or all of them.
19:29Yeah,
19:29yeah.
19:30It was B.
19:31It was definitely
19:31B.
19:32Before we find
19:32FURI,
19:33how do you
19:33know?
19:33It's in
19:34Tim's book.
19:34Oh,
19:35yeah,
19:35that'll do it.
19:43Right,
19:44let's look at
19:44it.
19:44It's B.
19:45Yeah.
19:46You're right,
19:46it's B!
19:51The band
19:52would blow
19:53coke up
19:54each other's
19:54arses,
19:55and the
19:55activity was
19:56called
19:56Cocanus.
19:58OK.
19:59Well done,
20:00Bez.
20:00You've got a
20:00point.
20:01Hey.
20:01It's best
20:02to see.
20:03Go on.
20:07Time for a little
20:08break.
20:09We'll see you in a bit.
20:09Welcome back to
20:21Nevermind the Buzzcocks.
20:24Manchester versus Britpop,
20:25the show that proudly
20:27refused to cut down on your pork life
20:28and get some exercise.
20:30And you know why?
20:30Because pork's delicious.
20:31Live fast, die young.
20:33Next up, it's the intro's round.
20:34Bears and Jamali on your feet,
20:36please.
20:36You'll be performing
20:37the intro of a song
20:38to Clint.
20:39And remember, Clint,
20:41it is the title of the song
20:43we're looking for.
20:43Here we go.
20:45Song one,
20:46take it away,
20:46boys.
20:47Come on, one more time.
20:57I feel like I'm on drugs.
21:10You chug me.
21:12I feel like I'm on a whole tub of bike bike.
21:13I thought when you first sighted, I thought Resurrection with the guitar was not.
21:19Sadly to you, that's your guess. Resurrection is not the right answer. I'm passing it over.
21:23Is it Stone Roses? Is it Waterfall?
21:25I'm not telling you. It's not Waterfall.
21:28Ah, you're wrong. It was I want to be adored by the Stone Roses.
21:32Here's how it should have sounded.
21:39Yeah, pretty good though, wasn't it?
21:43I shouldn't have got it. When Beth said I want to, I shouldn't have got it.
21:50That was the Stone Roses with I want to be adored. Front man, Ian Brown said,
21:54we've got to ban all air freighted food, carrots from Holland, potatoes from Egypt.
21:59It's all got to stop. And then he devoured a big bag of drugs transported from a Colombian man's bottom.
22:06Next one, please. Bez, Jamali, take it away.
22:10We've got to do it quick because it's going to leave Beth's mind like this.
22:16You start it, brother.
22:25I do the old tune.
22:26Yeah, that's nice.
22:26You did, you did the last song and then my part.
22:32Yeah, yeah.
22:35Stay off the bike up, kids.
22:39Go on.
22:39One more time.
22:52Go on.
22:52One more time.
22:53Go on.
22:54Sorry, can I interrupt? Just to help Clint out. It could not sound less like this.
23:09I'm passing that over. Clint doesn't know. Give me a title of a song and let's put everyone out of their misery. Any song?
23:16Ring of Fire.
23:16It's got to be in Manchester.
23:18So close.
23:19Strap yourselves in.
23:20What about Step On?
23:21It was Step On by the Happy Mondays.
23:22Yeah, go on.
23:23I've just got that.
23:24I've got it.
23:25I've got it.
23:26I've got it.
23:27I've got it.
23:28I've got it.
23:29I've got it.
23:30I've got it.
23:31I've got it.
23:32I've got it.
23:33I've got it.
23:34I've got it.
23:35I've got it.
23:36I've got it.
23:37I've got it.
23:39I've got it.
23:40I've got it.
23:41See you later.
23:43That was Happy Mondays with Step On.
23:45Here's how it should have sounded.
23:52Oh, that's what I meant to do.
23:54Woo!
23:55I forgot I had that one.
23:56Bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum.
23:58Yeah, yeah.
23:59That was the Happy Mondays with Step On.
24:01And for the avoidance of doubt, when I say the Happy Mondays, I mean Bez's bum.
24:08Bad luck.
24:09You guessed none correct.
24:15Right, Noel and Danny, it's your turn to perform to Patsy.
24:18So on your feet, please.
24:19Good, okay.
24:20As always, Patsy, it's the title of the song we're looking for.
24:23Yeah.
24:24Song one.
24:24I'll do the drums.
24:25Are you ready?
24:26Off you go.
24:27Oh, I know it.
24:42I know it.
24:44I know it.
24:46Oh, my.
24:47Pass it over.
24:48Oh, my.
24:49Oh, my baby.
24:51Sounds like a song from Oliver.
24:56It was originally.
24:58Oh, my darling.
24:59No, incorrect.
25:00Pass it over.
25:01What's it called?
25:02Tender.
25:03Tender is correct.
25:04Yay.
25:06It was tender by Blair.
25:08It smells like sand.
25:10You did very well, but they stole it.
25:16That was tender by Blair, which was kept off the number one spot by Britney Spears' Hit Me Baby One More Time.
25:34Not because it was a better song, but because in the video, Britney was dressed as a sexy schoolgirl.
25:39And in the late 90s, casual paedophilia was absolutely fine.
25:44I'm talking about that.
25:54No, our band was kept off number one by R. Kelly.
25:58Yeah.
25:59Maybe I want to start a campaign that's actually going to take him off number one and reinstate us to number one.
26:04I agree.
26:05Can I do that?
26:06Yeah.
26:07All right, song two.
26:10Take it away.
26:11Oh, yeah.
26:12The band is always released.
26:15Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang...
26:16Bang, bang, bang.
26:17Bang, bang, bang, bang.
26:19Yeah.
26:20Oh,ma, a, a, a.
26:21Blue.
26:22We have pretty beat in air.
26:23It's a opposition grupo!
26:24mano al-by-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de-de.
26:25Bang, bang, bang. Bang, bang.
26:29Is it Elastica?
26:31And I are connected?
26:34Yeah.
26:35Connection?
26:36Yeah.
26:37You are right.
26:42It was Connection by Elastica.
26:45Here's how it should have sounded.
26:55That was Elastica and Connection,
27:04as opposed to a poor connection with Elastic,
27:06which is what my uncle claimed in court
27:08when he was arrested for exposing his genitals in parts.
27:11Fortunately, it was the late 90s,
27:13so casual paedophilia was absolutely fine.
27:17Yay!
27:21You got one right!
27:23Yay!
27:25Well done, guys.
27:28We did have easier ones, I think.
27:30I don't know how much of it was down to them being easier,
27:34how much of it was down to not having Bess.
27:38I don't agree with that.
27:40No.
27:40No, no, he's right.
27:41He's not right.
27:45And at the end of that round,
27:46Noel's team have one point.
27:48Bess's team have two points.
27:50Yay!
27:51Our next round is called ID Parade,
27:57where our panel must identify a Madchester and Britpop legend.
28:01Noel's team, here's your line-up.
28:03For the audience at home, take a look at this.
28:04That was the brilliant Echo Belly with I Can't Imagine the World Without Me.
28:26But can you tell me which of our line-up is their bass player, Alex Kieser?
28:31Is it number one, Echo Belly?
28:34Number two, Andrea Bocelli?
28:37Number three, erotic dreams about Lorraine Kelly?
28:45Number four, why are my fingers always so smelly?
28:49Or number five, I feel so lonely, please rub my belly.
28:56There you go, Noel.
28:58That's a selection of very different men.
29:01Yeah.
29:02Is there anyone we can rule out early doors?
29:06Well, I remember playing lots of gigs back in the day with Usa.
29:10You did play gigs with them?
29:12Yeah.
29:12I know it's not number five,
29:14because I reckon I'd been out on loads of mad benders with him.
29:17With number five?
29:18Mm-hmm.
29:19Yeah, I'm not sure he's the bass player in Echo Belly.
29:22Oh, all right.
29:23So you've been on the piss for number five,
29:25but he might not be in Echo Belly.
29:29Is this the bass player?
29:30Bass player for Echo Belly.
29:31Because from this angle, number one looks like he hasn't got any arms.
29:34Yeah.
29:38Number two is speaking to me.
29:41Is he?
29:42He's speaking to me as well.
29:43He's like, he doesn't love nothing but the sea.
29:47Number two.
29:49Stairs at the ocean.
29:52You get a lot of tool based players.
29:54I'd say number three.
29:56I think number three looks like he's capable of killing.
30:04What do you think about number four?
30:05Number four, if he was in Echo Belly,
30:07then I'll be very shocked.
30:12I feel like number four is a genie if you rub a vape.
30:24No, seriously, Danny,
30:25you think you've been on the piss for number five,
30:28but he's not in the bath.
30:30He's not in the bath.
30:31Listen,
30:31I've been on benders with a lot of people
30:33and I've definitely been on the bender with him.
30:36All right,
30:36no see,
30:37final answer,
30:37let's go.
30:38You choose.
30:39I'd say three as well.
30:42I back you.
30:43Okay.
30:43Lock it in.
30:44Number three.
30:45Number three,
30:45locked in.
30:47Will the real Alex Kieser
30:49please step forward?
30:51Oh,
30:51it's number four,
30:52fuck.
30:55Oh!
30:56Hello,
31:02love.
31:04You're a trickster,
31:06aren't you?
31:06You're a trickster.
31:07This is different times,
31:08though.
31:09This is different times.
31:10Alex,
31:11thanks for coming on.
31:12You're welcome.
31:13What's happening?
31:13Are you Echo Belly playing at the moment?
31:15No.
31:16Okay.
31:18Let's hear it for Alex Kieser,
31:20the wrestler.
31:20Okay,
31:26there's this team.
31:27Your turn.
31:28For the audience at home,
31:29take a look at this.
31:30So silly things
31:33are always easy to blame
31:37Try to grow up
31:41Don't always be the same
31:44That was Paris Angels
31:49with Perfume.
31:50Bez's team,
31:51what I want to know
31:52is which of our line-up
31:53is the singer
31:54Ricky Turner
31:55from the band?
31:56Is it?
31:57Number one,
31:58Perfume.
31:59Number two,
31:59Fart.
32:00Number three,
32:01Eggy.
32:02Number four,
32:03Burn.
32:03Number five,
32:04Pin Juice.
32:09Pin Juice.
32:12Over to you,
32:13Bez's team.
32:13What's your argument?
32:14I think number four
32:15requested the biggest jeans
32:16that he had.
32:17Yeah, yeah.
32:21Fuck me,
32:21they are big.
32:22Fuck,
32:23they create their own
32:23ecosystem.
32:24Fuck me,
32:25I think that's fucking
32:25beautiful.
32:26Really,
32:27number five looks so
32:28comfortable in that hat.
32:31Yeah,
32:31I feel bad for number five.
32:32He shouldn't be here.
32:33He should be in the crowd
32:34for time team.
32:36What about number three's hat?
32:37Is that a Manchester hat?
32:39It looks like a lovely
32:40old lady's sub hat.
32:41Let's have some facts.
32:45Ricky lives in Manchester.
32:48Oh,
32:48here we go.
32:49The research has been at work.
32:54Here we go.
32:55Ricky's favourite colour
32:56is black.
32:59Oh,
32:59hang on,
32:59this is interesting.
33:00Ricky is terrified of sponges.
33:02He doesn't like how they feel.
33:06It nauseates him.
33:08Who might be scared of sponges?
33:10Look,
33:11I'm just drawing,
33:12I think it's number one,
33:13man.
33:13That's a Mancunian face
33:14right there.
33:15Look at him.
33:15He's the,
33:15he's the final boss.
33:19All right,
33:19well,
33:20don't take your final guess
33:21until I give you this fact here.
33:24This is fucking mental.
33:26If Ricky could travel back in time,
33:29he would love to show a caveman
33:31a 1980s ghetto blaster.
33:36Well,
33:37we've got history
33:37with the Paris Angels.
33:39And I have as well.
33:40Yeah,
33:41so I know Ricky.
33:42Oh.
33:43But whoever's styled him
33:44for this,
33:44he's done well,
33:46hasn't he?
33:46You know what,
33:46I was like that,
33:47which one's Ricky there,
33:48you know what I mean?
33:49Do you think it might be
33:50his number two?
33:50Because he's a really good
33:51looking lad.
33:52Yeah.
33:53Oh,
33:54can we have a different line-up?
33:54Yeah.
33:57Okay,
33:58final guess.
33:59I think number one.
34:00Baz,
34:01team captain?
34:02Well,
34:02I kind of,
34:03obviously,
34:03I don't agree with number one.
34:04What do you think,
34:05Clay?
34:05Yeah, number one.
34:06Number one it is.
34:07Is it number one
34:08because you know him?
34:09Well,
34:09yeah.
34:10Yeah.
34:12It still could be wrong.
34:15Let's find out
34:16if you're right.
34:17Will the real
34:18Ricky Turner
34:19please step forward?
34:22Woo!
34:24Yes,
34:24Ricky.
34:25Oh,
34:26yeah.
34:27Baz's team,
34:28you're right.
34:30Ricky Turner.
34:33Ricky,
34:34thanks for coming on.
34:35What are you up to
34:36at the moment?
34:37Work at Spirits U,
34:38the old's in Manchester.
34:39No,
34:39it's all.
34:41That's it for
34:42Ricky Turner
34:42and the rest of our guests.
34:44It's Ricky Turner.
34:44Woo!
34:45Woo!
34:45Woo!
34:45Woo!
34:45Woo!
34:45Woo!
34:45Woo!
34:45Woo!
34:45Woo!
34:46Woo!
34:46Woo!
34:46Woo!
34:46Woo!
34:47Woo!
34:47Woo!
34:47Woo!
34:48And at the end
34:48of that round,
34:49Noel's team have
34:50one point.
34:51And Baz's team
34:51have three points.
34:52Woo!
34:53Woo!
34:53Woo!
34:54Woo!
34:54Woo!
34:54Woo!
34:55Woo!
34:56Woo!
34:56Time for a break.
34:57We'll see you in a bit.
34:58Woo!
34:59Woo!
34:59Woo!
35:00Woo!
35:01Woo!
35:01Woo!
35:01Woo!
35:01Woo!
35:01Woo!
35:02Woo!
35:02Woo!
35:02Woo!
35:03Woo!
35:03Woo!
35:03Woo!
35:04Woo!
35:05Woo!
35:06Woo!
35:06Woo!
35:07Woo!
35:07Woo!
35:07Woo!
35:08Woo!
35:08Welcome back to number one of the first cards,
35:12Manchester versus Britpop.
35:14Woo!
35:14Woo!
35:15Woo!
35:15Woo!
35:15Woo!
35:16It's now time to play our new game,
35:18Uppers and Downers!
35:20Woo!
35:21Woo!
35:21Woo!
35:21Over there, there are two piles of cards,
35:28one with Manchester hits and one with Britpop hits.
35:31We'll show you one of each,
35:32and all you have to do is to correctly tell me
35:34which one charted higher for a point for your team.
35:37But I can't do this all by myself, I need some assistance.
35:40So, in Manchester's corner, please welcome the Manchester Maraca!
35:51And in Britpop's corner,
35:56please give it up for Milky from Coffee and TV!
36:07Just to limit your expectations,
36:08if you think there's going to be band members inside those costumes,
36:11then forget it.
36:12It's two very badly paid members of production.
36:21Manchester Maraca, what is your first song?
36:28That's right, folks, the costumes are impractical.
36:33It's Waterfall by the Stone Roses.
36:40And Milky, you poor bastard.
36:43What are you going with?
36:45Oh!
36:47It's Oasis Supersonics, I'm a little blessed to laugh.
36:51Right, who do we think charted higher?
36:58You can discuss it with your team-mates.
37:00Yeah.
37:01Oh, I think I'm right.
37:02Oh, charted higher.
37:03We've never had teams take something so seriously.
37:06It is.
37:07It is serious, man.
37:08Absolutely delighted.
37:09Carry on.
37:10It's serious.
37:10Um, you know what?
37:12I don't know, I weren't around.
37:14Go on, I will go with you.
37:15Yeah, I don't know.
37:16Give me your answer.
37:17Oasis was higher.
37:18I think we would say the same.
37:19You're both saying Oasis charted higher.
37:22Yeah.
37:23Milky, Maraca, could you please reveal your chart position?
37:27Higher.
37:28Oh, wow.
37:31Oh, this is good.
37:35This is good telly, isn't it?
37:37It's very good, yeah.
37:40It's going to be slow, right?
37:41Super Sonic picked at 31, losing to Waterfall at 27.
38:10So, you're both wrong.
38:12Right.
38:12Shame on you.
38:13Okay.
38:15Call me suspicious.
38:16I think the audience are enjoying this game for the wrong reasons.
38:19LAUGHTER
38:19CHEERING
38:20CHEERING
38:24CHEERING
38:25CHEERING
38:27All right, song two.
38:35Manchester Maraca, what's your next song?
38:37Spiral carpets, this is how it feels.
38:47So, this is how it feels to be lonely.
38:52This is how it feels to be small.
38:56And Milky.
38:58Quite a confident little swagger there from Milky.
39:02Oh, another banger.
39:05It's Pumping on Your Stereo by Supergrass.
39:08MUSIC PLAYS
39:10You can all have a guess.
39:16I've got no idea.
39:17Who do you think charted higher?
39:20Surely one of you two knows this.
39:21We're going for Supergrass on this one.
39:23What do you think, then, Danny?
39:25Do you think you came in higher than...
39:27I'd always go for one of my favourite ever bands in Spiral carpets, but...
39:31I don't know.
39:31What do you reckon?
39:32Well, I mean, I wasn't in either of those bands, so...
39:36Well, you should have asked.
39:38You should have asked.
39:38I was sick in L.
39:40I can't see what you think.
39:41Well, I didn't marry anyone in those bands.
39:45So, um...
39:47You should have asked.
39:49LAUGHTER
39:49APPLAUSE
39:50Danny, do you know what your result was for that, your chart result?
39:59I think that was 14, I think, I was.
40:01Oh, yeah.
40:01I got a feeling I was about eight, nine.
40:03Yeah, I think you were the winners on that one.
40:05So, you're saying Supergrass came in higher?
40:07Yeah.
40:09Supergrass are saying that they came in higher.
40:11Right.
40:12And Spiral carpets are saying that they came in slightly lower.
40:16Yeah.
40:17We'll go with that.
40:18Is this like me saying to you, Greg,
40:19what socks are you wearing right now?
40:22Shit.
40:23I'm not thinking about my socks.
40:25I'm not thinking about the songs.
40:26Like the audience, I'm just waiting for these two pricks
40:28to have to take the...
40:29LAUGHTER
40:30Take the numbers off the front.
40:34Milky, Maraca,
40:36can you please reveal your chart position?
40:38LAUGHTER
40:39LAUGHTER
40:40They can't...
40:42You can't see.
40:43They can't see it.
40:45Hey, Milky!
40:46Oh...
40:48Oh...
40:48Oh...
40:49Oh...
40:50Oh...
40:52Yes.
40:54Oh...
40:55Oh...
40:56Oh...
40:57Oh...
40:57Oh...
40:58Oh...
40:58Oh...
40:59Oh...
41:00Oh...
41:01Oh...
41:03Oh...
41:03Oh...
41:04Oh...
41:04Oh...
41:04Oh...
41:04Oh...
41:04Oh...
41:05Oh...
41:05Oh...
41:06You were right.
41:08Your number.
41:08Yeah.
41:09I mean, who'd have thought this would be getting the biggest reaction?
41:11Pumping on your stereo
41:14Peaked at number 11
41:15Beating, this is how it feels
41:18Came in at number 14
41:20So both teams get a point
41:22And at the end of that round
41:29Noel's team has two points
41:31And Bez's team has four points
41:32Let's say a big thank you to our fabulous assistants
41:39The Manchester director
41:41Just listening to the music tonight
41:56To be honest with you
41:57It's just, it's so joyful
41:59I kind of don't relate to much music these days
42:03And this has just been like, you know
42:05Sort of a batch of your youth
42:06Hasn't it?
42:08It's a real celebration
42:10Sorry to get all deep there
42:11Right, it's time for next lines
42:19I'll give you the first line
42:20You tell me the next one
42:21You get a point
42:22Simple as that
42:22You're up against the clock
42:24This could be important
42:26Noel's team
42:29You're up first
42:29And your time starts
42:31Now, confidence is a preference
42:33For the habitual voyeur
42:34Of what is known as
42:36Park life
42:36Correct, blur, park life
42:37He sips another rum and coke
42:39And told a dirty joke
42:42Ocean colour scene
42:43The day we caught the train
42:44We are young
42:45We run green
42:46We are free
42:47Teef, nice and clean
42:48Teef, nice and clean
42:49Supergrass, all right
42:50Yes, there's love if you want it
42:52Love if you want it
42:53Don't sound like the sonnet
42:54Don't sound like the sonnet
42:55The verb sonnet
42:56Oh, Deborah, do you recall?
42:58The wood chip on the wall
42:59Nope
43:00Ah, your house was very small
43:01Very small
43:02Disco 2000
43:03She got one in the oven
43:05Oven
43:06Oasis
43:06But it's nothing to do with me
43:08Oasis, she's electric
43:09Yes
43:09I don't understand
43:10How a heart is a spade
43:12But somehow the vital connection is made
43:16Elastica connection
43:17If it's good enough for you
43:18It's good enough for me
43:21Correct, dodgy, good enough
43:23Do you remember the time
43:24Well done, old team
43:31You've got four right
43:32Okay, Bess's team
43:33Here's yours
43:34You need three points to win
43:35Come on
43:36You're against the clock
43:37And your time
43:39Starts
43:42Now
43:43Oh, sit down
43:44Oh, sit down
43:44Oh, sit down
43:45Sit down next to me
43:46Correct, James
43:47Sit down
43:47She'll carry on through it all
43:49She's a waterfall
43:50The stone rose is waterfall
43:51Don't you know
43:52He can make you forget
43:53You're a man
43:54You're a man
43:55Interesting, you're a melon, man
43:57Happy Mondays
43:58Step off
43:58You see, wait, you said it
44:02Oh, it's my fault
44:04Can you dig it?
44:07Oh, yeah
44:07Can you dig it?
44:09Yeah, correct
44:10The mock turtles
44:11Can you dig it?
44:12Itchy and scratchy
44:13Come running up the alley
44:14Charlotten
44:15If you'll be good
44:16I'll be good to your daddy
44:17The Charlotten's
44:17North Country boy
44:18Husband don't know
44:19What he's done
44:20Kids don't know
44:21What's wrong with mum
44:22Correct
44:22In spiral carpets
44:23This is how it feels
44:24Yippie, yippie, yippie, yay, yay
44:26I had to crucify somebody today
44:29Some brothers is out of it
44:31Happy Mondays
44:31Kinky Afro
44:32I can see her
44:33Here she comes
44:34Stone roses
44:35Here she comes
44:37She bangs the drums
44:38Stone roses
44:39She bangs the drums
44:40That sound means it's the end of the round
44:48And it's the end of the show
44:49And I can tell you that Noel's team have six points
44:52But the winners with nine points
44:54There's this team
44:55Thanks to Tomali
45:01Bess, Clint, Patsy, Noel and Danny
45:04Good night
45:24Bess, Clint, Patsy, Noel and Danny
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