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00:00As most of you are aware, the decision has been made to allow a cat to stay here inside of Wendelstein.
00:09This is Jones, the Devon Rex.
00:13The Devon Rex? Originally from England?
00:15Domesticated shorthairs! My hearts!
00:18I also hear they're naturally curious and like to explore!
00:21He's more special than you think, because not only does he seem to understand human language, he's even able to read.
00:27Incredible. He's truly gifted.
00:30Weird. I just assumed every cat was able to do that.
00:33He helped Koonagi and his crew. He's a legit hero.
00:37However, just like every other cat these days, he is infected with the virus.
00:43Fortunately, thanks to his intelligence, it is highly unlikely that he will attack.
00:47But if we interact with him like a normal feline, we'll be transformed.
00:52Here I was thinking I'd finally get a serotonin and dopamine hit!
00:56Is there no god or Buddha or cats you can hold in this world?
00:59Furthermore, Wendelstein now has a few new rules.
01:04We must follow them to a T.
01:07Rule one, no petting the cat for whatever reason.
01:11Rule two, all residents will work to take care of our guest.
01:15Rule three, you will love him with your hearts and souls. Is that clear?
01:19Perfectly, ma'am.
01:20They could have brought a hundred back and I wouldn't complain.
01:24Grandma?
01:25What is it, Mitsuru?
01:27Well, I wanted to make myself useful, so I created a special cat translator for the little guy.
01:32I call it...
01:35The Mitsuru-Type Cat Language Translator Equipped Mobile Device Prototype!
01:39Ta-da!
01:41At least you decided to keep the name brief. Tell me how it works.
01:45I thought you'd never ask. It's a device that uses AI to sample the frequency of a cat's meow,
01:51runs it through the program, and interprets it into human language.
01:56They were all the rage before the Neondemic. All I did was give it an upgrade.
02:00Sounds handy.
02:01I'll attach it to his carry case.
02:04I can't remember the last time I was this close to a cat.
02:07I'm Mitsuru. Let's be friends.
02:09And we're all set. Go ahead, Jones, and say something.
02:16No!
02:17Come with me if you want to live.
02:39Let's go.
02:41Let's go.
02:42Let's go.
02:43Let's go.
02:45Let's go.
02:47Let's go.
02:49Let's go.
02:51Let's go.
02:53Let's go.
02:55Let's go.
02:57Let's go.
02:59Let's go.
03:01Let's go.
03:03Let's go.
03:07Let's go.
03:09Oh
03:39I'll be back.
04:04It's Sudo, explain.
04:06The Cat 800 says that line in the classic Meowminator film.
04:09That's not what I'm asking you.
04:11I might have let my love for old-school B-movies bleed into the language processing AI's algorithm.
04:17But just think of it as the equivalent of bye-bye, or I'll talk to you later.
04:21I get the picture.
04:23If you know the movie quote by heart, then you're a true film buff.
04:27All right, everyone. The assembly is over. Get back to work.
04:31Kuniki, you and your friends prepared Jones' room.
04:34Right.
04:35Kisuke, as soon as you learn anything new about Jones' condition, inform us.
04:40Without delay, ma'am.
04:42So, I want you and your team to put your heads together and figure out how we'll keep him fed.
04:47Of course. I'll do my best.
04:50Karu and I have a few things to attend to.
04:52Yes, let's go.
04:55What are you expecting?
04:57We're going to get you all nice and groomed.
05:00I can't guarantee you'll enjoy this, but hang in there, okay?
05:02Make it easy on yourself, Dutch.
05:06What a sweet boy. That's the spirit.
05:09Works just like I intended.
05:10I think this should provide enough protection.
05:15Indeed.
05:17Come on in, you melon farmers.
05:20All painless is waiting, you mother scratchers.
05:23This translator's a bit melodramatic.
05:26Okay, come on out.
05:27First, I'll trim your claws, so hold still.
05:32This is not my day.
05:34Let's talk trimming a cat's claws.
05:37Tucked away within those sweet soft mitts are some very serious weapons.
05:41They can even be dangerous to humans.
05:44Snip a few millimeters off the tip to avoid the quick, which houses nerves and blood vessels.
05:50Gently press on the paw pads to draw out the claw.
05:53All right, I need you to hold still.
05:55I don't need no gun.
05:58Oh, quit complaining.
06:01Simple setup.
06:02One day operation.
06:04You quote Commando and Prediper a lot.
06:07Is that all you've got, Meowgatron?
06:10Meowga what now?
06:12It's you and me, Meowgatron.
06:16Phew, all done.
06:18The translations did not make things easier.
06:21I could do this all day.
06:24Something tells me Mitsuru's into action movies.
06:27Right, time for your shampoo next.
06:31You set us up.
06:33It's all bullshit, all of it.
06:35Let's talk bathing a cat.
06:38The more time a cat spends outdoors, the more likely they are to have fleas or ticks.
06:43When bringing one indoors, get it nice and clean with shampoo.
06:46However, the process can be an extremely stressful one for them.
06:51So always remember to be gentle.
06:53I'm sorry about this, Jonesy.
06:55But if we're going to keep you at the Citadel, this is non-negotiable.
07:00At the end of the day, one shall stand, one shall fall.
07:05It's best if the bath temperature is between 35 to 38 degrees Celsius,
07:11and the introduction to water is done both quickly and carefully.
07:15That's it, you good boy.
07:16You're doing so well.
07:18Just relax.
07:21It's time, Carol.
07:23All right.
07:23You lost your money.
07:31You keep this up, you'll lose something else.
07:34Allow the cat time to acclimate to the warm water,
07:37and begin by cleaning its body thoroughly, starting with the back.
07:41I will look for you.
07:42I will find you.
07:43And I will kill you!
07:45Then from the back, move to wash their neck, stomach, and finally the hindquarters.
07:50Be careful not to miss a spot.
07:53Clean the face if you can, but don't be forceful.
07:57Adrian!
08:00Now to rinse off the suds.
08:03This is Sparta.
08:05Slowly and without sudden movements,
08:07use the shower head to wash away the soap until none remains.
08:11It's amazing that he's being so calm.
08:16Business.
08:18It's always business.
08:21Okay.
08:21All rinsed off.
08:23Grab a towel for me.
08:24Here.
08:25Got one.
08:26And in the meantime,
08:28the 400 people in that container could be dead already.
08:31Look at this cozy little man.
08:34Nice jacket.
08:36Very nice.
08:37If you're using a hairdryer,
08:38turn it to the warm setting
08:40and hold the end 20 centimeters from the cat so it won't burn.
08:44You see a hurricane coming?
08:47You have to get out of the way.
08:48All things considered,
08:50you were such a patient boy.
08:52It's my job.
08:54Just a bit longer.
08:55Almost done.
08:58Damn!
09:01You were so well behaved, Jones.
09:03Someone deserves a reward.
09:10Well, we managed to get through it.
09:14I forgot how exhausting this can be.
09:16You know what?
09:17It is hard work,
09:19but oddly satisfying.
09:21Gimme four.
09:23Two is enough for you, sweet boy.
09:26No four.
09:27Two, two, four.
09:29I already told you,
09:30two's plenty.
09:31Ow!
09:32Anyway,
09:33seems like this translator thing
09:35has room for improvement.
09:37Agreed.
09:39Meow!
09:40No chance.
09:42You think there are cats that actually like baths?
10:05Nah, no way.
10:06Wouldn't it be cool if they could get into the hot springs with us?
10:09Head slap!
10:10There's just one major drawback.
10:13You know we would come out of there with tails.
10:17How many months have I been on the road,
10:20traveling with this idiot?
10:22Thanks to the Iendemic,
10:23the company I busted my butt at for 10 years,
10:26finally crashed and burned.
10:29No more power-hungry president,
10:31creepy boss,
10:32or nasty supervisor.
10:34All cats now,
10:35which I consider an improvement.
10:37The two of us managed to survive,
10:39but ever since,
10:40we've been fighting for our lives
10:42in this bizarro world
10:43where cats reign supreme.
10:45Just when I finally got my first taste of freedom in a decade,
10:49I wind up in a hardcore survival game.
10:52Weirdly enough,
10:54it's made me feel more alive
10:55than I ever had before.
10:57Talk about ironic.
11:00Would you mind if I change the music?
11:02You can't tell,
11:04but I'm rocking out to this.
11:06Yeah,
11:06but I've never heard of any of the songs you listen to.
11:10Well,
11:11you're a brat
11:11and just discovered music.
11:15Have you heard of
11:17Tamiya Gachi?
11:18Definitely not.
11:20They're about yay big,
11:21and you, like,
11:22raise a cat.
11:23Depending on how you look after it,
11:25it'll end up a big chunk
11:26or fast,
11:27et cetera.
11:28Yeah.
11:30They ruled.
11:32Okay,
11:32have you at least heard of that show
11:34We Are Persians?
11:35It was still on pre-Meindemic.
11:38The first one I can remember watching
11:40was the fresh Persians.
11:42Did you see that?
11:43Fresh was like the sixth in the series.
11:46And that's the first one you saw?
11:48Shut up!
11:49Do I even want to know
11:50what year you were born in?
11:51So you're a decade or two older than me.
11:53No big.
11:54We still get along, right?
11:56I'm not that old.
11:58But still,
11:59seeing the passage of time
12:00from this angle
12:01is scary as hell.
12:06You really think so?
12:22Trust me.
12:22You'll lose sleep over it one day.
12:25I don't know.
12:26I fall asleep super easy.
12:28We made it!
12:44Not bad.
12:45This place has got some class to it.
12:49Wait up!
12:54That's weird.
12:56No cats.
12:57Maybe it's because
12:58they hate water so much?
13:00We've got the place to ourselves.
13:02That's one point
13:03for the post-apocalypse.
13:04No cats.
13:12Holy!
13:13Your skin's so soft and smooth!
13:14Your hands are freezing
13:16and I'm sensitive to the cold!
13:18Some of us aren't so lucky, okay?
13:20And now,
13:21without further delay,
13:22the hot springs!
13:23Oh crap!
13:32Oh crap!
13:35Oh crap!
13:36Oh crap!
13:48Oh crap!
13:49Oh crapity-crap-crap-crap!
13:51Gas on monkey's back!
13:55Is that another thing
13:56your generation uses?
13:57Hurry!
13:58This way!
14:04We left all of our cat repellents
14:06back in the locker room.
14:07What do we do now?
14:09What did the monkeys learn
14:23to use friggin' axes?
14:24You've got to be joking!
14:25This is so unfair!
14:27Quick!
14:27Through the window!
14:31Your lucky HR was terrified!
14:34Now's not the time!
14:35Damn, which way
14:36are we supposed to go?
14:37Let's just get out of here!
14:42They're gonna catch up
14:43to us in no time!
14:45And why are you
14:46taking a selfie video of this?
14:48I want to capture
14:49my last moment
14:49for posterity!
14:51I didn't have to be in it!
14:59I'm done.
15:00The smoking's caught up to me.
15:02What?
15:03Leave me and make a run for it.
15:05I might be able to
15:06buy you some time.
15:08Hmm.
15:10Then I want to stay too!
15:11Moron!
15:12It's only a sacrifice
15:13if you escape!
15:15Yeah, I know.
15:17But I'd be lonely
15:17without you around.
15:19So instead,
15:21we might as well
15:21keep hanging out
15:22as kitty cat friends, right?
15:24Do you even hear yourself?
15:26You're wasting your time
15:27talking to me!
15:28Let's capture
15:29our final moments
15:30as humans!
15:31Scooch in close!
15:32You totally cringe.
15:34I can't even.
15:36Okay, here we go!
15:38Say...
15:39cheese!
15:43Ah!
15:46Holy crap, that's hot!
15:48Wow, I've never seen a geyser
15:50in real life!
15:51Cheese!
15:52Cheese!
15:54We live another day.
16:00You're seriously
16:01the luckiest!
16:03Can I have some?
16:12We've earned this!
16:14We so have!
16:16Kind of surreal
16:17having an uninterrupted view
16:19of the post-apocalypse.
16:21Yeah,
16:22I'll admit
16:23it's not so bad.
16:25It's perfect.
16:38Got that right.
16:40Truly.
16:41No words do it justice.
16:43It's way too cute!
16:44Jones is gonna flip out
16:46when he sees his new room!
16:48One suggestion.
16:49We could put down
16:50cat paw print stickers.
16:52How's this look?
16:53Are you some kind of genius?
16:56That's mega cute!
16:57I've got an idea.
16:58We could put a cat chef
17:00Flushy next to his dishes!
17:03Revolutionary!
17:04In that case,
17:04we ought to add a roof
17:05over both of them
17:06like a restaurant!
17:07I dare you
17:08to name a better team
17:09than us!
17:12After reviewing
17:13everyone's reports
17:14on the cats
17:15they've encountered
17:16as well as data
17:16gathered from Jones,
17:18I've made some observations.
17:20And they are?
17:20Despite their vast numbers,
17:23we haven't really noticed
17:24much cat waste
17:25lying around.
17:27And despite the world
17:28being overrun
17:29by their kind,
17:30we haven't seen any
17:31that appear malnourished.
17:33This is only
17:34a working theory,
17:35but they may be
17:36obtaining energy
17:37from a source
17:38other than food.
17:39Meaning what?
17:41I'm saying
17:41what if cats get energy
17:42from sunlight,
17:44like microbes?
17:45For real?
17:46That's crazy.
17:47There have been
17:48known cases
17:49of vertebrates
17:49photosynthesizing.
17:51Like the fire salamander,
17:53a species native
17:54to Europe.
17:55I suppose
17:56if cats evolved enough
17:57it could theoretically
17:58be possible.
18:00Assuming this actually
18:01proves to be true,
18:03it would mean
18:04the cats have gained
18:05control of the sun, too.
18:07Just kidding.
18:09Yeah, of course.
18:13Cat army dead ahead!
18:15Prepare to intercept!
18:16Radio for reinforcements!
18:18Hold them back
18:19until we get a response!
18:22We won't lose
18:23to you cuddly fluffballs!
18:25Imagine cleaning a room
18:26one your kitty
18:27just ransacked!
18:28Use that!
18:29Wait!
18:33We can't hold them off!
18:35They'll swallow
18:35and cough us up
18:36like hairballs!
18:38Problem is,
18:39you boys just don't
18:40have enough spirit.
18:45Shall we dance?
18:47Are those salt guns?
18:53You're gonna hurt the cats!
18:54What are you thinking?
18:55No!
18:56Look closer!
18:58Not a single shot
18:59is hitting them!
19:00Also,
19:01it's putting them
19:02to sleep!
19:04Cow can relax.
19:06This is my own
19:06special plant-based mix
19:08made with catnip.
19:09Most likely,
19:10you've heard of catnip,
19:11or western matatabi,
19:13and herb felines
19:14are quite parcel too.
19:16With a flavor
19:17similar to mint,
19:18it can even be used
19:19in cooking,
19:20making it beloved
19:21by both species.
19:23Isn't this a pickle?
19:33Diamondclaw,
19:34my old nemesis.
19:40Nice last samurai!
19:41You're the reinforcements?
19:50Oh, thank god!
19:51You got here quick!
19:52We heard you were
19:53in a bit of a bind.
19:56I know you!
19:57You're the gunslinger
19:58who never lands a hit!
20:00And that's the mighty
20:01Meowryor!
20:02Last samurai, right?
20:05They're even more badass
20:06than the stories.
20:07We thank you.
20:10Go easy on the praise now.
20:13General's the one
20:13that deserves it.
20:22Several cats
20:23are approaching
20:23from the east.
20:25A hundred more
20:25at the south-east.
20:28Yes.
20:29A small army of cats
20:30approaching from the east,
20:32and a larger army
20:33of around a hundred
20:33is heading this way
20:34from the south-east!
20:36There is still time
20:37before they arrive.
20:38We must prepare ourselves
20:39before they do
20:40and protect headquarters!
20:42Leader!
20:43A few words of encouragement
20:44for these fearless knights!
20:48Let's do this!
20:53Stand tall, fellow humans!
20:55Let's show these little critters
20:57the real strength
20:58of mankind!
20:59That's our general.
21:01She's just like Joan of Arc
21:02after hearing the voice of God.
21:03I'm just allergic to cats,
21:09you guys.
21:10I don't hear voices.
21:12Where's Kowloon now?
21:15I hope I get to see her soon.
21:17Look how it works!
21:18Let's go!
21:18Let's go!
21:22We're going!
21:23The world is really
21:24as if you don't
21:26we almost've been
21:26late,
21:27We're going!
21:28Let's go!
21:28We're going!
21:29Let's go!
21:30We're going!
21:30We're going!
21:31We're going!
21:32We're going!
21:32We're going!
22:35How'd you get that nasty cut on your face?
23:02My cat was nice enough to give it to me.
23:05I took her for her annual checkup, but first I had to put her in her carrier.
23:11Clever girl figured out I was about to take her somewhere and went absolutely ballistic.
23:17Some cats hate going out, whether it's to the vet or somewhere less traumatic.
23:21My guess is she has negative memories associated with the carrier.
23:25What can you do to change that?
23:28One way is to start leaving it out in the open at all times.
23:31Gradually, you can move it closer and closer to where she eats.
23:34I've already tried that.
23:37And failed.
23:41We've already done two full circles around the room.
23:43Sounds tough.
23:44The point we're trying to make is, keeping a cat isn't as easy as you might think.
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