- 1 day ago
QI XL - Season 23 Episode 7 -
Who What Why?
Who What Why?
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Hello and welcome to Q.I.
00:28Tonight we're asking who, what and most importantly why, with a welter of W questions.
00:34What do you say we meet our guests?
00:37What a treat, it's Delisa Chiponda.
00:42What a joy, it's Cariad Lloyd.
00:47What a pleasure, it's Susan Kalman.
00:53And what the blazes, it's Alan Davis.
00:56And why don't we hear their questionable buzzers.
01:02Cariad goes...
01:11Deliso goes...
01:15We should just have a disco.
01:18Susan goes...
01:19Why?
01:21Why?
01:23Why?
01:25And Alan goes...
01:27Because, because, because, because, because I say so!
01:33Right, what questions do toddlers ask the most?
01:39Mmm.
01:40Are we nearly there yet?
01:41Oh, that is right.
01:42Oh!
01:47My son asked me, what is fire?
01:51Oh!
01:52And I said, oh, you mean like faints?
01:54He said, no, what's in it?
01:56Which I thought was too much for six o'clock in the morning.
01:58Yeah.
01:59This is the issue.
02:00What is the issue?
02:01Don't like them.
02:04Questions or children?
02:05Children.
02:06OK, fine, OK.
02:07Because they are unrelentingly honest.
02:10Yes.
02:11Yes.
02:12They are taller than me.
02:13Oh.
02:14And I have previously been swept up at a museum in a coat party.
02:20LAUGHTER
02:23When they said, back to the bus everyone, and I went, I'm not...
02:26OK, fine.
02:27And I got on a bus.
02:28Yeah.
02:29So, I don't like children, but for some reason, they really like me.
02:32They see you as one of their own, that's why.
02:34Yeah.
02:35Yeah.
02:36Alan, stop printing that!
02:38What?
02:39Are you my real dad?
02:41Isn't it just they say, why, and then you answer, then they say, why,
02:48and then they keep saying, why, until you collapse and scream, why?
02:53Yes.
02:54So, we think that is the question, but in fact, the question that they ask most
02:57is what?
02:58What?
02:59Yeah.
03:00What?
03:01So, that's how they learn about the world.
03:03Most of the time, it's what.
03:05The number of why-style questions, which is when you want an explanation
03:09rather than a fact, it does increase as you get older.
03:12So, it's just about 3% if you're under 2 and 43% when you approach 4 years old.
03:17But even at their peak, they are in the minority.
03:20And parents think that why questions are more common because, frankly,
03:24it's more difficult to answer.
03:25They did a study at the Society for Research in Child Development in 2017.
03:29The average child between 2 and 5 asks 107 questions.
03:34Oh, that's why.
03:36107 questions per hour.
03:39Yes.
03:40Instead of contraception, they just need to put that back...
03:44..on little boxes.
03:49It's one in every 33 seconds.
03:51Wouldn't it be possible to get them to submit the questions in advance?
03:55I think so.
03:56But this study that they did, there was a child called Adam.
03:59He asked an average of 198 questions per hour.
04:02And his parents are divorced and doing their best.
04:05It's almost 30% more questions than you get on a standard episode
04:09of University Challenge.
04:11And they're harder.
04:12But the numbers plummet the minute they enter the education system.
04:15So there was a psychologist called Susan Engle
04:17and she looked at kids in elementary school in America
04:20and they found they asked two to five questions in a two-hour period.
04:24And as they get older, it seems to get worse.
04:26One child put their hand up and asked in class, you know,
04:29if there are any places in the world where no-one made art,
04:32which I think is a really good question.
04:34And the teacher replied, no questions now, please,
04:36it's a time for learning.
04:38LAUGHTER
04:40But we thought we'd try a few interesting questions for you.
04:43You can try and answer if you like
04:44or you can tell me what you think about the questions.
04:46So my first question is, have you ever been decapitated?
04:49LAUGHTER
04:50Yes.
04:51Yes.
04:52I mean, like, not in the Anne Boleyn sense,
04:54but, like, you know, metaphor...
04:55I've lost my head, frequently.
04:57Oh.
04:58Do you get cross?
04:59I get cross.
05:00I think shorter people get cross quicker.
05:02Mmm, I get very cross very quick.
05:04Because people ignore you and they don't see you.
05:07I don't think I've ever been decapitated.
05:09LAUGHTER
05:10Yeah.
05:11Do I do that?
05:12LAUGHTER
05:13Dear diary, dear diary, I don't know, you want me to go.
05:17I used to be called the Terrier at university
05:19because we were in a club and I was trying to get past
05:22and I was going, excuse me, excuse me, and this woman was like...
05:25Like, where is it coming from?
05:26Because she didn't look down.
05:27LAUGHTER
05:28And then I went, whoop!
05:29LAUGHTER
05:30And she went, oh!
05:31Like, oh, there's a thing down there.
05:33They called me the Terrier after that.
05:36LAUGHTER
05:37I think barking makes the tall people,
05:39it's like they'll look for a dog but not a small woman.
05:41LAUGHTER
05:42It's true.
05:43I was once in a pub and someone used my head as a table.
05:45Oh.
05:46They put a paint on top of my head.
05:48LAUGHTER
05:49But then I think you have small men like Gandhi,
05:53who was the opposite.
05:55Yeah, I think maybe it's small women.
05:56I think the point at which we've had it up to here comes back to them.
05:59LAUGHTER
06:00But is there another meaning of decapitate
06:03at the part of having your head cut off?
06:05So the picture here is of Saint Denis,
06:07a famous saint who was decapitated and, despite that,
06:10carried on with his sermon on retribution.
06:12That would be a very persuasive sermon.
06:14Yeah, I know, right?
06:15LAUGHTER
06:16It's known as being a cephalophore, so a head carrier.
06:19But they did this question on a US quiz show
06:21called The Power of Ten in 2007,
06:23and so the contestants have to predict
06:25what answer the public are going to give to a particular question.
06:28Oh, OK.
06:29And to this question,
06:30have you ever been decapitated,
06:324% said yes.
06:34LAUGHTER
06:35It's part of something called the Lizerman's Constant.
06:38OK.
06:39So there's a psychologist called Scott Alexander Siskin
06:41and he came up with this idea,
06:42and it's the approximate percentage of responses to a survey
06:45when a person clearly isn't taking it seriously.
06:48Oh.
06:49So, the name came from a 2013 survey that found that
06:524% of Americans believe that lizard men are running the earth.
06:56Right.
06:57They might also not know the meaning of decapitated
06:59and think it means drunk or something.
07:01Oh, incapacitated.
07:02Yeah.
07:03Incapacitated.
07:04Yeah.
07:05Here's another question.
07:06What are you supposed to do with a sheep's head?
07:08Leave it on the sheep.
07:10LAUGHTER
07:11I think you use it to terrify your enemies.
07:14OK.
07:15Right.
07:16So, like, famously, I think, in The Godfather,
07:17they put up horses.
07:18Horses hated.
07:19Yeah.
07:20Horses aren't really widely available.
07:22LAUGHTER
07:23You're right.
07:24Way too pricey.
07:25So, I think the thing is,
07:27much cheaper,
07:28you want to terrify your enemies on a budget.
07:30Sheepsy.
07:31I mean, it's not the right answer,
07:33but I'm going to give you a point.
07:34LAUGHTER
07:41So, this is a question asked in the annual Miss Navajo Beauty Contest,
07:45which has been going since the 1950s.
07:47OK.
07:48And one of the rounds is to butcher a sheep.
07:50Wow.
07:51And the final section requires contestants to answer a question
07:53that is specific to Navajo life.
07:55And the answer to the question, this was posed in 2012,
07:58is to burn off all the wool in a fire,
08:01slow cook the head underground,
08:03and then eat the cheek meat and part of the eyeball.
08:06Now we know.
08:07Casey, do you want to make that at home?
08:08Let us know how it goes and just see how that is.
08:10I do think this is an interesting question.
08:12Are you a narcissist?
08:13Oh, of course.
08:14We're comedians.
08:15Like...
08:16So, you say yes.
08:17What would you say?
08:18Of all the narcissists here,
08:19I am the best narcissist.
08:20LAUGHTER
08:28There is a certain something about parading yourself,
08:30and hoping that people like you and laugh at your jokes
08:34and think that you're fabulous.
08:36So, I think probably yes.
08:38Shall we go and say yes over here?
08:39Let's talk about me a little bit more.
08:41LAUGHTER
08:43Sometimes I am, sometimes I'm not.
08:46It's difficult.
08:47What do you think about me?
08:48LAUGHTER
08:49So, typically, when they were testing a person for narcissism,
08:52it was a 40-question questionnaire, right?
08:55Mm-hm.
08:56And it was things like,
08:57do you think of ruling the world frighten you,
08:58or do you think it would be a better place if you were in charge?
09:00Yes.
09:01Yes.
09:02Yes.
09:03Next question.
09:04LAUGHTER
09:05So, but then what happened was, in 2014,
09:06there was a team from Ohio State University,
09:07and they realised you could get just the same accuracy of results
09:10by asking a single question, and the question is,
09:12are you a narcissist?
09:14LAUGHTER
09:15And actually, narcissists say yes.
09:17Oh!
09:18Yes.
09:19They believe that they are superior and they don't mind saying so.
09:21So, they saved 39 questions that they didn't have to ask.
09:25LAUGHTER
09:26Two points for anybody who can name the two people in this famous painting?
09:29Narcissus.
09:30Narcissus.
09:31Narcissus is...
09:32The guy looking at the...
09:33You're looking in the mirror, yeah,
09:34because he falls into the water.
09:35Who's the person that...
09:36That's narcississus' very free friend.
09:41I'm going to call her...
09:42Alison.
09:43Alison.
09:44LAUGHTER
09:45She's like,
09:46you're not going to upstage me by falling in that pond,
09:48I'm going to get one tit out.
09:49Everyone is going to...
09:50Look at me!
09:51Look at me!
09:52Look at me!
09:53LAUGHTER
09:54It's good though,
09:55she's got just the one out and probably the good one.
09:57Yeah.
09:58What do you mean the good one?
09:59There's always...
10:00LAUGHTER
10:01There's one...
10:02Sandy's not a narcissist apart from her boobs,
10:05where she's like...
10:06They're both great.
10:07There's always one that's a bit...
10:08My breasts are perfect.
10:09There's one that's a bit...
10:10There's one that's a bit...
10:11My breasts are perfect.
10:12There's one that's a bit perkier,
10:13that you go, alright,
10:14and then there's the one you go,
10:16Buck up.
10:17Yeah.
10:18It's Echo.
10:19Oh, Echo, of course!
10:20Who falls in love with narcissism.
10:22She was a chatterbox and she got cursed to always repeat the end
10:25of somebody else's sentence rather than making her own sentences
10:28and that's where we get the...
10:29That's where we get her.
10:30The concept of the Echo.
10:31The concept of the...
10:32It's so lovely to see you.
10:33It's lovely to see you.
10:34You're going to do that the whole show.
10:35The whole show.
10:36OK, another question.
10:37Red or green?
10:38Definitely.
10:39It's so lovely to see you.
10:40You're going to do that the whole show.
10:41The whole show.
10:42LAUGHTER
10:46You're going to be green.
10:47I found this out the hard way.
10:48OK.
10:49So in university, I went to a kissing party.
10:53Right?
10:54And when you went into the party, you chose to put around your neck
10:58either red, green or orange.
11:01Right.
11:02And if you chose green, you're open to kissing everybody.
11:05OK.
11:06If you chose red, you don't want to kiss anyone.
11:07And then orange, you're picky.
11:09And I, at heart, was green.
11:12But I thought you want to seem picky.
11:15Oh, OK.
11:16And so I chose orange.
11:17And all the green people were having way more fun.
11:20Yeah.
11:21Traffic light parties, you used to do them in the old clubs in Glasgow and...
11:27I find myself thinking, oh, wouldn't you catch viruses?
11:30Yes!
11:31That's a sign of age.
11:33But the issue is, as I discovered, having also gone to one of those traffic light parties,
11:38having worn everything green.
11:40I was as green as you could possibly get.
11:42Just being green doesn't mean anyone wants to kiss you.
11:45No.
11:46I'm here!
11:48OK.
11:49Let me tell you, red or green is an official state question in New Mexico.
11:54Oh, so the red party or the green party?
11:56No, it's nothing to do with politics.
11:58Oh, chillies.
11:59It refers to your favourite type of chilli sauce.
12:01Ooh.
12:02OK, here's another question.
12:03What was the worst thing about the great whisky fire at Dublin?
12:08Terrible waste of whisk.
12:10Mm.
12:11Yes.
12:12Well...
12:13LAUGHTER
12:18Irish distilleries did not pay any tax on whisky until it was about to be sold.
12:22And so they often allowed it to mature in these duty-free warehouses.
12:26And the warehouse, this particular one, had 5,000 barrels in it, which today is like £8 million worth of whisky.
12:32Wow.
12:33It went up in smoke on the 18th of June, 1875.
12:36Nobody really knows why.
12:37By the early hours, most of the barrels had burst.
12:39There was a sort of burning river of whisky in the streets.
12:42Oh, wow.
12:43The flow was two foot wide.
12:44It was six inches deep.
12:45I mean, it would look...
12:46I imagine it looked like the flames on a Christmas pudding.
12:48Yeah.
12:49It was a story.
12:50And 13 people died, but none of them were harmed by the fire.
12:53They died?
12:54Yes, so they all died of...
12:56From trying to drink...
12:57Well, either acute alcohol poisoning after drinking alcohol straight from the street,
13:01or from the filth mixed in with it.
13:03Yeah.
13:04If you drink anything out of a gutter, it's not good, is it?
13:07LAUGHTER
13:09People came from all over Dublin for this free hot drink.
13:12Right, right.
13:13They used their hats, their boots to scoop it up.
13:16People were, as you say, supping straight from the streets.
13:19There's one place, according to one report, a house burnt down during a wake.
13:25The family saved the body from the fire, but went right back to the whisky.
13:28LAUGHTER
13:29Now, why could they not just put water on it?
13:31Isn't that...
13:32With alcohol, you can't...
13:33I mean...
13:34Isn't that like chip pan?
13:35You've got to get the wet teeth out?
13:36It is.
13:37It's like oil on top of water.
13:38It was impossible.
13:39So what they did was they built a dam out of ash and horse manure to stop them.
13:42People carried on drinking.
13:43LAUGHTER
13:44A little horse manure cocktail, right?
13:47I know.
13:48Everybody was safely evacuated, including sort of pigs and horses at Round Wild.
13:52One man was arrested for stealing a barrel of whisky that had escaped and rolled down the streets.
13:57I like this.
13:58He was fined one pound and the barrel was sent to a nearby hospital to be given to the patients.
14:03Some of whom, presumably, were already suffering from alcohol poisoning.
14:07LAUGHTER
14:08What do you think?
14:09Whisky originated Scotland or Ireland?
14:10What are we going to go for?
14:11Wales.
14:12You can't get Welsh whisky.
14:13Yeah.
14:14We don't know.
14:15I'd say Scotland.
14:16I think the Scotland.
14:17And how can you tell the difference?
14:18It says it on the bottle.
14:19LAUGHTER
14:20It's the spelling of whisky.
14:22Which is?
14:23Scottish whisky.
14:24Oh, God!
14:25Oh, my God!
14:26Has...
14:27No E.
14:28Not got an E.
14:29Is correct.
14:30Oh, yes!
14:31Has not got an E.
14:32Has not got an E.
14:33So it's Irish whisky, it's EY, and Scotch whisky is just Y.
14:38And so when the Irish moved to America, they took the E with their
14:41rhythm, so American whisky has an E too.
14:43But Japan, there is no E because the father of Japanese whisky, Masataka Takatsuro,
14:49he learnt to distill in Scotland.
14:51Now, who washed Hitler's wig out?
14:54Oh, wow.
14:55I'm very much hoping that you're going to reveal that the wig is his moustache.
14:58Oh!
14:59And he had a wig moustache kind of like a merkin or something.
15:02LAUGHTER
15:03Coincidentally, this is genuine.
15:05Yes.
15:06The only other time I've painted myself green.
15:08LAUGHTER
15:11I did a sketch when I first started out in comedy and I was completely naked apart from a merkin for...
15:17Can we just explain to anybody who doesn't know...
15:19It's a cubic wig.
15:20Can I just say the Victorian Albert Museum has a merkin department and you can ask to see them.
15:25LAUGHTER
15:28I would be very happy to show you mine.
15:30I retained it.
15:31And the sketch was, I painted myself green and I jumped out of a wardrobe shouting,
15:35I'm a wee goblin!
15:36So...
15:37Oh!
15:38I remember that sketch!
15:39Yes!
15:40Yes!
15:41I was not looking at the merkin.
15:43LAUGHTER
15:45Her boobs are just slightly...
15:47LAUGHTER
15:49LAUGHTER
15:50APPLAUSE
15:53So anyway, I retained the merkin as a beautiful souvenir of something I shouldn't have done.
16:04LAUGHTER
16:05So...
16:06Is it that he had doubles?
16:09So we are talking...
16:10A double.
16:11A doppelganger of some kind?
16:12Where might you find such a thing in London, for example?
16:14Oh, at Madame Tussauds.
16:15Madame Tussauds, exactly.
16:16Wax easier, yeah.
16:17Madame Tussauds.
16:18So it was hit by a bomb in 1940.
16:20352 waxwork heads were destroyed.
16:22But Hitler's was just covered in rubble.
16:25And his and other surviving heads, including Mussolini's,
16:28had a post-bombardment shampoo.
16:31LAUGHTER
16:32And were put back on display.
16:33But during the war, did they need a wax version of him?
16:36LAUGHTER
16:37And did they need to number it so people would be like,
16:39one, two, five, who's that?
16:40Oh, yeah.
16:41LAUGHTER
16:42Well, it's been there since 1933, and since it was installed,
16:45people have tried to destroy the waxworks,
16:48doused in red paint, decorated with a sign that said mass murderer,
16:51by 1936 it had been repaired so many times that they decided
16:55to put the whole thing in a glass case.
16:57And they only took Hitler off display in 2016,
17:00when neo-Nazis started taking selfies.
17:02Oh, gosh.
17:03Even there till 2016?
17:042016, yeah.
17:05But it's a slightly strange collection of people here.
17:07I think that's Pat Jennings at the very back.
17:09LAUGHTER
17:10LAUGHTER
17:11Very good goalkeeper.
17:13People have spotted him who know Pat Jennings.
17:15It is Pat Jennings, isn't it?
17:16It is Pat Jennings.
17:17I just realised that those two people are actual humans.
17:19Yeah, they're humans.
17:20LAUGHTER
17:21The waxworks at Madame Two of Swords of Bill Clinton,
17:26they had to superglue his zipper on his trousers.
17:29LAUGHTER
17:30Wonderful!
17:31So, we're talking about wax.
17:33Why do shepherds have such soft hands?
17:36Yes.
17:40Is it lanolin?
17:41Is the correct?
17:42Oh!
17:43Oh!
17:48What is lanolin?
17:49So, it's like an oil that's in the sheep's coat,
17:52and it's what they put in, like, hand cream and lip balm,
17:55and it's really important to know that because if you buy a vegan,
17:58a present, say your best friend is Sarah Pascoe,
18:01and you're like, this has got lanolin in, it's really good,
18:03you then realise, no, they don't like it with sheep product in,
18:07so you get to keep it, so it's quite good.
18:10LAUGHTER
18:11Yeah, so lanolin is literally Latin for wool oil,
18:14and sheep are absolutely covered in wax,
18:16and it stops their wool getting waterlogged.
18:19It is used for all sorts of products.
18:20It's used to soothe, I don't know why I'm looking at you,
18:22chap nipples, I don't know why I'm looking at you.
18:24LAUGHTER
18:25It's used to lubricate wind instruments like trombones, lip balms,
18:29but to write about the whole vegan thing, it's complicated
18:31because a lot of supermarket fruit is covered in edible wax, right?
18:35Yes.
18:36So it protects it from getting scratched and makes it all look nice
18:38and gives it a longer shelf life and all that,
18:40so apples and so on.
18:41It's not a lot.
18:42So if you had the wax coating on, say, 6,500 apples,
18:45it's enough to make one tea light.
18:47But the Vegetarian Society has announced that the shellac
18:50that they use for this is not vegetarian due to the number
18:54of bugs killed when the shellac is collected.
18:57So it has never been vegan, may not be vegetarian,
19:00and technically fruit in supermarkets may not be vegan in itself
19:05because of this.
19:06Yeah.
19:07But there's no law that says a supermarket has to label loose fruit
19:10as containing shellac.
19:11So the only way you can tell if it's unnaturally shiny
19:14or it's got a waxy feel or a thin layer.
19:17You can tell if you scrape it.
19:18Very good for you, apples.
19:19What?
19:20Keep the doctor away, you know.
19:21Especially if you lop it out.
19:23LAUGHTER
19:24While we are on wax, you've each got a candle.
19:28Can you guess what those candles are meant to smell like?
19:32Ooh.
19:33Ooh.
19:34So let's start with you, Alan.
19:35What do you think that smells like?
19:38Oh!
19:39Oh!
19:40Rice and a bite.
19:41That's horrendous.
19:42What it is, it's garlicky and acrid,
19:44and I don't know why anybody would want this.
19:46It's supposed to smell of mustard gas.
19:48LAUGHTER
19:50Did you just poison Alan?
19:52That's for a question.
19:54It's for people who want to evoke First World War battlefields.
19:57I mean, that really fits a lovely sort of for a dinner party, isn't it?
20:01I know.
20:02Come in, sit down.
20:03Bit of mustard gas.
20:04Wow.
20:05Uh, Cariad, what is your one?
20:07Is that vinegar?
20:08Uh...
20:09Chips?
20:10It's cheese and onion.
20:11Oh, is it? Oh, crisps, yeah.
20:12Yeah.
20:13It's got no actual cheese.
20:14I mean, it's fine for vegan snippers.
20:15LAUGHTER
20:17Deliso?
20:18Mine's actually quite pleasant.
20:19I can't place it, but I know this scent.
20:21Is it, like, licorice or something?
20:23Well, it's petrol.
20:24Oh!
20:25Give us it here.
20:26I like the smell of petrol.
20:29Do you not remember when you're younger at the petrol station
20:32rolling down the window when your mum was filling up the tank
20:34and just goes...
20:39No, here's the thing.
20:40The smell of petrol is why one might like it.
20:43It temporarily suppresses the nervous system,
20:45so it gives you a sort of euphoric feeling,
20:47but it's incredibly bad for you
20:49because the chemicals disrupt messaging in the brain
20:52as well as the ability of the blood to carry oxygen.
20:55But that candle promises the joys of that forbidden fragrance
20:59without brain damage.
21:00Oh!
21:01LAUGHTER
21:02I mean, if you did it a lot when you were younger,
21:04like, you'd be fine.
21:06LAUGHTER
21:08Just sniff your candle, darling.
21:10What have you got?
21:12What do you think that is?
21:14What?
21:15You don't like it?
21:16Is it vomit?
21:17No, it's not!
21:18LAUGHTER
21:19What is it?
21:20Human breast milk.
21:21LAUGHTER
21:22LAUGHTER
21:23I feel we're on a theme with you.
21:24No.
21:25Did you not like it at all?
21:26LAUGHTER
21:27Which breast did it come from?
21:28LAUGHTER
21:29I'm sorry, Sanders.
21:30Do you know, of all the things in my life,
21:34of all the questions I've ever had,
21:35what does breast milk smell like?
21:36That doesn't smell of breast milk.
21:37I don't like it.
21:38I don't like it.
21:39I don't like it.
21:40I don't like it.
21:41I don't like it.
21:42I don't like it.
21:43I don't like it.
21:44I don't like it.
21:45I don't like it.
21:46I'm sorry, Sanders.
21:47I don't like it.
21:48I don't like it.
21:49Do you know, of all the things in my life?
21:50All the questions I've ever had,
21:51what does breast milk smell like?
21:52That doesn't smell of breast milk.
21:53I don't think it does either.
21:54It's, erm, I mean...
21:55It smells quite sweet.
21:56Yeah.
21:57And breast milk does smell sweet.
21:58Well, it actually doesn't smell that bad.
22:00It's made by an artist called Tasha Marks.
22:02It's not that bad.
22:03Can I just say there's no actual breast milk in it, but she created the smells messages here
22:10Smell warm and evocative doesn't smell of vomit. That's a very unusual
22:15That's a vomit candle
22:18Happened to you when you were being best
22:21It's making me feel very uncomfortable. Delisa give us some more petrol
22:33I've got 12 different scented candles in my house right now. Have you what scent is it or they're all different sense?
22:39Yeah, does it all mix together and make that
22:42The only time we use scented candles was when we got a new dog and we hadn't quite worked out the right diet for
22:54Turned out she needed grain-free dog food because if she didn't have grain-free, oh my god
22:59All right
23:01What begins with W and is the fifth most common reason for car insurance claims in Germany?
23:07Windows, wheels. No, nothing to do with the car. It's all women women
23:18Will the beast? No, oh you are closer than anybody
23:22Getting closer
23:29That is the correct answer
23:35You can buy weasel insurance for your car in Germany. Actually, they're called Beach Martins, which is a member of the weasel family
23:42They like to crawl into small warm places
23:47And so around the car engine and then they chew the wires in 2019
23:52We've seen a hundred and ninety eight thousand weasel damage claims in Germany alone
23:59And so there are now companies that offer weasel insurance
24:03In fact, Audi and Mercedes-Benz thought oh my god, this is actually a serious problem
24:06They thought it maybe it was the German cars
24:08So they hired this biologist called Karl Kugelschafter and he concluded it was nothing to do with the manufacture of the car
24:14Just that the weasel population boom had coincided with a production boom of German cars
24:21So large predators like foxes were dying out due to habitat loss
24:25There was a decline in hunting because of welfare laws weasel fur coats had gone out of fashion
24:30There was a succession of milder winters
24:32So you get much higher survival rates and they've adapted to urban life
24:35So they have now invented something called a Wiedensau-Brinzip, which is the world's first anti-weasel device
24:43Which is fitted to Mercedes engines and basically gives them a nasty electric shock
24:48If you want to be thrifty, you can use a spray made of bear urine
24:53Then your car has to smell of bear urine
24:55Yes
24:56Well, you know
24:58Just leave the lid off the petrol cap and you know
25:02Get the breast milk candle out
25:03Yeah, that'll be fine
25:04But they are astonishing beach martins
25:06In 2016 a single one of them shut down the large hadron collider
25:11It got in there
25:12It was it hopped and then they switched it on
25:14Well
25:19Two of them hurtling towards one another
25:21It was electrocuted i'm afraid by an 18 000 volt transformer. That'll do it
25:29So there's a rotterdam museum curator called keese mollica and he collects animals that have come to an unfortunate but newsworthy death
25:42He literally went to get the weasel from the hadron collider
25:49He's got a catfish that got stuck in a dutch man's throat
25:53In 2016 he's got a sparrow
25:56Accidentally knocked down 23 000 dominoes in a world record
26:01Toppling attempt in the netherlands and was subsequently shot
26:08Oh wow
26:09Why would you shoot a wee sparrow for just
26:10Because it's knocked down all those dominoes
26:14People take dominoes very seriously
26:16When it did it it just had its foot on the first one
26:23The weasels in this country in the uk are mostly least weasels they're only about eight inches long
26:30I don't think they're so cute they pierce holes in birds eggs and lick the protein oozing out
26:34Oh that's that's that's less cute isn't it
26:38They suck the unborn chicks and juice
26:41Incredibly high metabolism their heart beats 500 times a minute oh wow
26:45They need to eat a third of their body mass every single day and they need to poo every hour and a quarter
26:50I wouldn't
26:50I wouldn't get one as a pet
26:56That's a lot of pooing maybe they should eat less than they wouldn't
27:01According to ojibwe and chippewa mythologies so native american in wisconsin apparently according to them
27:07There is a deer-headed monster called the wendigo okay
27:11It's a malevolent creature it's got insatiable hunger for human flesh right
27:16It can be killed if you want to know how to do it by tempting a weasel to climb up its bottom
27:21Oh
27:23Climb up its bottom or in its bottom no climb up its oh well in or up okay you're being very specific well listen you have to be online
27:33In and up
27:36So if you in wisconsin just bear that in mind the car industry has suffered an epidemic of german weasels
27:44Come on that's quite clever that is quite clever
27:46Thank you
27:48Okay, here's another question which wikipedia articles are 100% wrong I bet it's their articles on encyclopedia britannica
28:02There are many problems with wikipedia but the way in which it has been sourced is that anybody with the time and the technology can
28:09Input and you don't necessarily have to know what you are talking about
28:12So in 2020 it was discovered that nearly half of the articles on scots wikipedia
28:19Were written by a north carolina teenager who didn't speak a word of scots
28:25wow
28:26Yeah, he went by the name amaryllis gardner and between the age of 12 and 19 he created over 20 000 articles he made
28:34Hundreds of thousands of edits. He essentially took english language articles and rewrote them with a scottish accent
28:41And he then became an administrator and used his power to undo other people's attempts to correct his work
28:50wow
28:50wow
28:51Wikipedia articles are now being used to train ai models
28:54So you might take something which an ai model has told you and not know that it's come from wikipedia
28:59And some of those ai models may have trained on the work by the north carolina teenager who said that it was scots
29:05so
29:06so
29:08So a teenager from north carolina
29:10Was writing articles on scots or scottish he was just using english language articles and rewriting them with what he thought was a scottish accent
29:20So it wasn't like scots gail or anything no no not even that
29:23What's a very very him and the guy that runs the museum with dead animals
29:29I know it's a niche thing
29:31Yeah, can anybody read the scots language anybody here?
29:35Let's give susan a go
29:37Yeah
29:39Well, it depends on whether it's scots language
29:42Well, it's recognized as one of the three indigenous languages in scotland so gaelic english and scots
29:47Yes, um, so i'm going to put a scots sentence up from the scottish government website
29:52On the screen and see if anybody is a skilled linguist without really knowing it in the 2022 census
29:58That number of people reported that they could speak scots with that number of people reporting that they could speak right right or understand scots
30:05There you go, that's fantastic
30:12Does that count as a
30:14Does that count as a language?
30:20Does that count as a language?
30:22I think it done d'oleto
30:24I think it done
30:26Burns wrote in scots so scots is a language used in poetry and music and it's still used colloquially by a lot of people in scotland
30:34But what I mean is yeah without ever hearing of this language I can understand that
30:40Well, perhaps you're a greater linguist than you're
30:44There is a lot of wikipedia vandalism willie on wheels is one of my favorites
30:49He created thousands of throwaway accounts so that he could just deface wikipedia articles
30:54And his most prolific work was simply adding on wheels to the end of any
31:00To the end of any article title as well as redirecting the news page to a picture of a willie
31:06You know what genius comes in all forms
31:11We respect it when we see it
31:13My father's a politician in malawi so there's an ongoing like war of
31:18rewriting his wikipedia page so every few days like things come up from the opposition
31:24Someone's changed it and he's got an intern who just constantly keeps fixing it keeps fixing it
31:30Anyway wikipedia is the largest collection of knowledge in humanities history
31:33It is 85 percent by and about white middle-class men and that is only going to be perpetuated as ai
31:40Scrapes this data, but there are some quite funny ones
31:43The president of fifa was given an award by south africa after the football world cup was held there
31:48But the official website took his name from the most recent wikipedia page
31:53Which had been vandalized and announced that they had given it to joseph sepp bellend blatter
31:57Yeah
32:04When manchester city wanted to they wanted to name one of their stands
32:10After one of their former great players there's a guy called colin bell
32:14They wanted to do a vote amongst the fans. What should we call it?
32:17And all these manchester united fans started voting for the bellend
32:20I think
32:23Wonderful
32:24Actually some of it's very clever there's an australian electronic band called peking duck and they were playing in melbourne in 2015
32:29And a fan went backstage said i'm the lead singer's stepbrother and for proof
32:34He showed them the wikipedia page which he had changed two minutes earlier
32:40What's the biggest waste of time you can think of oh
32:44Yes, I think they call it doom scrolling
32:48Yeah, when you're just on your phone
32:51Looking at nonsense scrolling
32:53I hear about this, but you've never done this in my whole life. Oh, it's so you never just found you've gone. Oh, i've been here for six hours
33:01What are you looking at like literally it's these sites like tick tock or instagram where their algorithm
33:07Has mapped all the things you're mildly interested in so if you like cats and you like
33:14Comedians it will find a cat comedian like literally
33:18It knows you like things you don't even know you like and so you just like will add dictally move from one
33:26Useless clip to a next okay, so I like danish things and chainsaws. Is that a thing?
33:30I feel like it's one of the most useless addictions like at least cocaine they've got good stories
33:48I've got there's nothing rock and roll about like I waste too much time looking at the other people's stories just going
33:55Huh
33:58The only one I like yeah people falling down escalators
34:04I would watch that. I mean you guys could just watch old reruns of you've been framed
34:10I'm not very proud of this, but I actually now have to block myself. Yeah, same when I need to work
34:16I'm not on facebook or tick tock anything. I took everything off. I've only got two apps left on my phone. What are the two apps?
34:21The only thing
34:25One's better than the other one's better than the other. I think an app called I feel a right tick is a very
34:35Meanwhile, what's that woman doing in the day is that sounding?
34:37Well, this is the thing that you would not want to be able to tidy up in the desert what an incredible waste of time
34:41There was a guy called william shanks and he spent 20 years calculating pie to 707 places, right?
34:49I can do around nine three point one four one five nine two seven. Yeah, I could do one point one five nine two six
34:56The thing is he spent 20 years doing this to 707 places he made an error which meant that all the digits after
35:10527 were wrong and it was not discovered until 62 years after his death
35:16He died in 1882 having wasted a great deal of his life
35:23When he died he thought he'd done it right
35:24So he died a happy man. That's it. That's the main thing. That's the main thing. Yeah, but he could have done something else
35:32But like nothing is pointless which brings you joy
35:35Okay, so take this story and tell me whether you would have gone this far 2022 there was a man in utah pradesh called tungna
35:41Chaturvedi, okay, and he had been trying to get 20 rupees back from a train ticket since 1999
35:50Okay
35:5323 years
35:55So what happened was he asked for a refund on the spot he was refused right?
35:58He went through 100 hearings and in the end he got his money back and his family were furious
36:05Said it was an incredible waste of time and money
36:07He said it's not the money that matters this was always about a fight for justice and a fight against corruption
36:13So it was worth it. Yes
36:19Legend yeah go for it anyway got his money back my favorite of the things that you think wow that's a waste of time
36:25But good on you 1934 paramount pictures made an amazing film which I have seen and they called it it ain't no sin
36:32Right so as a publicity stunt what they did is they got a load of parrots
36:36In a room and they continuously played them the name of the movie right continuously played them
36:41It ain't no sin and the idea was the birds would learn to say it
36:44And then the studio would send one to every single reviewer in the land
36:48And the birds would keep saying the name in the movie
36:50Unfortunately at the last moment the movie which starred Mae West had to change its name
36:57It was regarded as too risque so they changed the name to belle of the 90s
37:01And so they had a load of parrots who could say
37:03It ain't no sin it ain't no sin but it's completely pointless they can't send them to anybody
37:10I know don't you love that and there's a guy in france called a rica blue
37:14He spent four thousand two hundred hours over eight years with a 23 foot tall model of the eiffel tower
37:22there it is out of
37:24106 900 matchsticks he finished it on the 100th anniversary of the death of eiffel
37:312023 december the 27th he applied to the guinness world records for the world's tallest matchstick tower
37:37They disqualified him because he'd taken the red tops off the matchsticks
37:42No, that's unacceptable guinness
37:44Well the next day they relented and they gave it
37:46There must have been that one night where you think that's it my whole life i've spent eight years building that
37:52Now it's time for the second most pointless quiz on television general ignorance fingers on buzzers, please
37:59My first question do you have common sense
38:04Delisa naturally of course I do
38:09I I don't know this is the first time I am going to call to question that ringing
38:13Okay, so what do you think is common sense stunning common sense is like uh acquired um logic no acquired like um
38:22More than logic it's just like homespun knowledge right so you can't really define it is that what you're saying
38:29I see your point well, I think part of the problem is that we all disagree
38:33About what common sense is so there was a team at the university of pennsylvania 2024 they took a group of over 2 000 people
38:39And they asked them to look at more than 4 000 statements and then the people had to rate them
38:44Whether or not they thought they were common sense
38:45And the idea was that maybe if a large enough cohort of people could agree on something that statement could be called common sense
38:52It's incredibly personal
38:54So the only things that people could actually agree on were statements of fact
38:57So a triangle's got three sides but statements things like numbers don't lie
39:02We should always trust the math all human beings are created equal things like that seemed more divisive
39:06Those are the things that people would argue about and it's interesting when they try and decide to program ai systems using human common sense
39:14But we're never going to agree as to exactly what that is
39:16I mean a lot of it's passed down that's the problem
39:18So I still always have money in my purse in case I need to use a phone box
39:25I mean good luck with that
39:28I was at paddington station not that long ago and there was a young young boy
39:32Who I hadn't got his phone and I taught him how to use a payphone wow and it was one of the nicest moments of my life
39:40Are you sure it wasn't a defibrillator?
39:45And I felt great because it felt like all my training as a brownie
39:5040 years later come to fruition. I bet that uniform still fits
39:54I still have it and I still wear it
40:02Common sense is less common than common sense suggests what would a french person call this a chaise
40:13That was scary several things were left at once what were you going to say a lady
40:17So not a chaise lounge they use that for a different kind of chair a deck chair is a chiselon is it?
40:29Yes, absolutely. The thing that we have here is a meridien
40:32Meridien for latin from midday. She looks really pissed off about it. She wasn't in a deck chair
40:38I'm so sorry, what chaise long is a deck chair? It's a deck chair, yeah
40:44So what have I got in my house?
40:47I was sold a chaise long
40:48Why do we call that a chaise long?
40:50I mean that is a long chair
40:53Because the english are just much more you know straightforward about it
40:56Oh you want to get one of them long chairs that you can lie on
40:59How long do you want it?
41:01Who initiated using a chaise long as they wanted for that question?
41:06It's going to be marie antoinette
41:11Okay, shall I ask the question?
41:14Who initiated the chaise long as a psychoanalyst's couch?
41:17I heard it on July. It was marie antoinette. It's just common sense
41:28Is it not freud but a descendant of freud?
41:30No, it is freud. It is freud
41:31Do you thought the combination of lying down and not being able to see the analyst was going to allow you to open up more?
41:36The truth is that he didn't really like eye contact
41:39He said I cannot put up with being stared at for eight hours a day
41:42And so he didn't really want to look at them either. So it just seemed like a better thing
41:46Louis the 15th he had a thing that I'd like is a chaise volante
41:50Flying chairs kind of primitive lift and it was built into the royal palace at versailles in 1743
41:56And the idea was that his mistresses could bypass the stairs and even the servants
42:00So it would spirit a woman three floors up using counterweights which I just love
42:05Like a sexy standard stairway
42:08But is that because like your wife's coming
42:11It's just like a wave
42:13So the duchess of bourbon had another one installed in her mansion in versailles
42:17But got stuck in it for three hours and in the end they had to knock all the walls down to get the lift off
42:23Louis the 15th liked the thrill of the chaise
42:25That one was really clear
42:32Worrying noise from the audience
42:34So all that remains is to hand out the medals let's see who gets what in last place with minus 44 it's alan
42:42That's with minus 6 deliso
42:46In second place but who's counting with minus 5 carriott
42:51And in first place with the utmost wherewithal with three whole points
42:59Come on
43:10Thank you to susan deliso carriott and of course alan and i leave you with this question from american comedian rita rudner
43:16How come when you mix water and flour together you get glue and then you add eggs and sugar and you get cake?
43:22Where does the glue go
43:52How come when you mix water and you get cake?
43:54How come when you mix water and you mix water and you mix water and you mix water and you mix water and you mix water and you mix water?
Be the first to comment