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QI - Season 23 Episode 4 -
Wavey
Wavey
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02:09Để tôi nói rằng, ở nowhere đó là cháil đó là đoàn đảm.
02:21... bác 4.8 inches là đ traditionally đủ vì hàm Ấn.
02:25Đó là là đ nord cực của hàm Ấn?
02:26Bác, mình không dự án nói rằng bác hàm ếm đã nói.
02:31Tôi nói, về 4.8 inches zjang cần bác năng bác and giả dự ánh vấn đo đối được bác.
02:36Bác bạn thêm nha.
02:37No, the Mr Microwave, you got the right answer and now I'm having to tell you what it was
02:43Microwave doesn't start with W
02:45Well, it is the waves that start with W
02:48It's going to be a long night, isn't it?
02:52It's like steam, it's waves
02:54The very first domestic-sized microwave oven was invented to bring half-dead hamsters back to life
03:02I know
03:03So, quick primer on how microwaves work, anybody know how they work?
03:06Don't they heat things up from the inside out?
03:09So, they have electromagnetic waves and by definition the wavelength can be anywhere from a millimetre to a metre
03:15But they fire a wavelength of 4.8 inches, which is the thing that I asked about
03:21And that is just the right size for the energy to be absorbed by the food or in this case by the hamster
03:27So the energy in them is transferred to the food and it heats it up
03:30Don't try this at home
03:31Yeah, I was about to say
03:33No, no, it's a very bad idea
03:35If that wouldn't work, it'd hurt them
03:37Yeah
03:38They'd be dead
03:39Is it the frequency of microwaves that make the water molecules shake and that's what heat is?
03:42Yes, you're absolutely right, darling
03:44It was really in-depth there, Phil
03:45Yeah
03:46I thought I was just coming here to mess around
03:48Yeah
03:49But you knew about the frequency of water molecules
03:52I can't believe you've advised for the test
03:56So, 1950s there was a British scientist called James Lovelock and he was working on a project to freeze and then reanimate cell tissue
04:05Okay
04:06Now you can see that that could serve all sorts of useful medical purposes
04:09So preserved tissues for transplant would be a good example
04:12So, I don't think you'd be allowed to do this now
04:15He gave hamsters an hour-long ice bath of minus five degrees Celsius
04:21Yeah, it was not good
04:23The heart stopped beating
04:24They stopped breathing
04:25And what you said
04:26A lot of the water in their body froze to ice
04:29So, they've got these frozen hamsters
04:31And I like this
04:32They experimented with various ways of reviving them
04:34It tried thawing them out with intense beams of light
04:37And this is all I've got on this
04:39Hot spatulas
04:41I think it explains itself really
04:45Really?
04:46Yeah, weirdly it didn't work
04:47And some of them
04:48Hot spatulas sounds like a seedy late night show doesn't it?
04:50Yeah
04:51Yeah
04:52Like cooking based
04:53Yeah
04:54Welcome to hot spatulas
04:57Anyway, it won't surprise you to learn that some of these poor hamsters then got severe burns
05:02Then Lovelock decided that he would try firing microwaves at them
05:05Now
05:06I mean what on earth is going through his mind at that point?
05:09I don't know
05:10He's frozen them
05:11He's tried to heat them up with hot spatulas
05:14Yeah
05:15And now he's going
05:16Do you know what?
05:17Let's just ding them in the microwave
05:18It does mean that he had only stuff from the kitchen
05:21So he was like freezer, cutlery drawer, lots of microwave
05:26Oh, thank goodness he didn't have an air fryer
05:29That was next
05:30You have to understand there were no domestic microwaves at this time
05:36The only microwaves were owned by the government who'd used them for various purposes like radar and stuff
05:41Anyway, he fired microwaves at the hamster, which was frozen
05:45And after a few seconds it got up and started wandering around
05:50Anyway, he never used it for cooking, Lovelock
05:52He just stuck to the hamster thing
05:54You'd think he'd be quite, he'd be exhausted at the end of the day
05:56It would have been really handy for him to have a microwave meal
05:58The person who thought of actually building a similar thing specifically to cook food
06:05Was an American physicist called Percy Spencer during World War II
06:09But the one he made weighed over 340 kilograms and was six foot tall
06:13So possibly not the one for your kitchen, I would say
06:17I would say
06:18Also, it was designed so like organ transplants and things could be
06:21Imagine waiting there on the trolley about to have it done
06:23Yeah
06:24And then you hear
06:25Ping
06:26It's ready
06:28What would be worse is if they said do you mind if we try some hot spatula sweat?
06:33We're convinced these hot spatulas must be good for something
06:37It must be
06:38It must be
06:39It must be a few people who've had heart transplants and it's still a little bit cold in the middle
06:42Take it out and stir it half way through
06:49Now onto crime waves
06:51Imagine you are a full-time wig thief
06:55What would be your technique?
06:57Oh, I've failed so many times
06:59It's harder than it looks
07:03What worries me about this question is the full-time aspect of it
07:06Yes
07:07So you'd have to make a lot of money
07:09What's a time in history when you might have made a lot of money from?
07:12Georgian times
07:13Yes
07:14So where are we? We were in the
07:15In your face, Phil
07:16Why am I the enemy?
07:20Because we're doing history now and we're all playing for ourselves
07:24It's humanities
07:25No
07:26Bring it back to maths
07:28Bring it back to maths
07:29So 18th century there's a wave of wig thefts
07:33Right
07:34Because they're worth stealing, right?
07:36Everyday powdered wigs, nothing special, cost the equivalent of 100 quid today
07:40But there were some that were so elaborate that they would be 5,000 pounds in today's money
07:44And that's where we get the expression big wig from, he's a bit of a big wig
07:47So what would your technique be, do you think?
07:50First I would get a monkey for some reason
07:52Yes, that is one way of doing it
07:56They often train small children and animals to steal them
08:00So you might get, for example, a child in a basket carried on somebody's shoulder
08:06Be just the right height to whip the wig off
08:08And then the wig snatching team would run in opposite directions
08:11Wig snatching team
08:12I know
08:13I would be more subtle
08:14So first thing, I might not want the person whose wig I'm stealing to know
08:17So I'd want to swap it for something of the same weight
08:19Really, really quickly
08:21Like Indiana Jones, just the...
08:23Yeah, yeah
08:24On the head, yeah
08:25Or I would pretend I was a wig inspector
08:27And say, erm, you've contravened some rules for wigs
08:32Yeah, wig rules
08:33Or say, I've got, I think you've got fleas
08:35Can I get rid of them for you?
08:37And then I've got it, haven't I?
08:39Or what about if you put velcro on the inside of a tunnel or a bridge
08:43And...
08:46As people walked through, they'd be like
08:48Lovely, going through here, going through here
08:50Suddenly in the light
08:51Yeah
08:52It's gone
08:53Where is it?
08:54It's stuck in the tunnel
08:55But by that point it's too...
08:56Yeah, you've closed the tunnel
08:57You've closed the tunnel
08:58Yeah
08:59You've only got to wait 200 years for somebody to invent velcro in your office
09:02Unlike the people who go through the tunnel going through here, going through here
09:05Yes, that's what I do in tunnels
09:07I would run up and say
09:08Your wig's on fire, it's on fire, it's on fire
09:10Give it
09:11And then I'd grab it
09:12Yeah
09:14Imagine being, imagine how undignified it would be like
09:16Don't you dare, you give me my wig back
09:18I know what you're doing
09:19Yeah
09:20You're trying to steal my wig
09:21Come back here
09:22Going through here, going through here
09:24Stop that man
09:25He's got my wig
09:26So jostling somebody was one way of doing it
09:28You get two boys and a dog
09:29For example, one boy jostles a bewigged man
09:31The other grabs the hairpiece, tosses it to the dog
09:33And they all go off in different directions
09:34So you might see a dog running past with a wig on?
09:36Why do you think wigs were so popular?
09:41People had terrible heads
09:43Is it?
09:44Because there was no conditioner back then
09:46So everyone's hair looked terrible
09:48It looked like liceous
09:49Gabby
09:50A lot of it's to do with syphilis
09:51Syphilis was rampant
09:53Oh
09:54It caused men to lose their hair
09:56What?
09:57What?
09:58I don't know what you mean
10:04Wig crime, why did it stop?
10:08Wigs went out of fashion
10:09Correct
10:10Two points
10:11Two points
10:12So there was a supposed wave of detergent theft
10:15In the United States in 2015
10:17There was supposed to be a great wave
10:18And people were stealing it
10:19They had to lock it to the shelves
10:21Was that because of drugs?
10:22Well, so there was one police officer
10:24Who said he had seen people buy drugs
10:26In exchange for sort of six bottles of detergent
10:29Like the Daz doorstep challenge, isn't it?
10:31LAUGHTER
10:34Would you consider swapping your usual heroin
10:37For six bottles of QI wash?
10:42I imagine that's always been popular
10:44It's something everybody needs
10:45It's untraceable
10:46It's easy to steal
10:48You can get rid of all the evidence
10:49Yes
10:50I was in the supermarket the other week
10:53And the bottles of olive oil
10:56Were in Perspex cases
10:58Lock boxes
10:59Wow
11:00On the shelf
11:01Because they were £10 each
11:03That's the state we're at
11:05I always thought like the price of
11:06When people talk about the price of oil going up
11:08I didn't know they meant extra virgin
11:11Oiling yourself up for a hot spatula
11:13Is more expensive than anything
11:15Well, you'd want to be oiled up
11:16If you had a hot spatula
11:17You would
11:18In 18th century London
11:25It was easier for crime to pay
11:28Ohhhh
11:30I like that
11:33It kind of slid off the edge of the
11:35Just that noise
11:36Now
11:37What wouldn't you want to find in a hairdresser's pocket?
11:40Uh
11:41The husband's phone number?
11:43LAUGHTER
11:45I'm not saying they're all hussies
11:46No
11:47Some of them are
11:48Statistically
11:52More hair that they stick back on when you're not looking
11:54Because then you've got to come back
11:56That's how you get to
11:57Weirdly
11:58What happens is you go off on a tangent
11:59And get quite close to the real answer
12:00Oh
12:01OK
12:02The whole show is about waves
12:04What were waves, early waves in the hair?
12:06Perms
12:07Perms, absolutely right
12:08Early perms, short for permanent wave
12:10And they were sometimes called pocket perms
12:12By hair stylists
12:13Because
12:14It was such rough chemicals
12:16That what would happen is that large chunks of hair would break off
12:20And the stylist, instead of telling you that
12:23Would grab it and not want you to know
12:25And stick it in their pocket
12:26So you wouldn't
12:27Yeah, and you were sticking up from earlier
12:28LAUGHTER
12:29Have you ever had a perm? Have you had a perm?
12:31Have you ever had a perm? Have you had a perm?
12:33I wanted a perm, Mum wouldn't let me
12:35Why?
12:36Because she's a bitch
12:37LAUGHTER
12:38LAUGHTER
12:39APPLAUSE
12:40You'd be a very good therapist, then, the other person
12:41LAUGHTER
12:42Just right to the heart, people, in one question
12:43LAUGHTER
12:44LAUGHTER
12:45LAUGHTER
12:46LAUGHTER
12:47My mum's... I'm under such strict instructions to never mention her in any of my comedy, right? And I'm trying so hard and I can't believe that slipped out
13:08LAUGHTER
13:09I can't believe that slipped out
13:10LAUGHTER
13:11Does she watch QI?
13:12She does watch QI and she's a really lovely woman
13:14What's her name?
13:15Gail
13:16Gail
13:17Can I just say, we'd like to dedicate this whole show to you
13:20LAUGHTER
13:21And we're sending Sarah home with a perm
13:23LAUGHTER
13:25So the very first perm machine was invented by a hairdresser called Charles Nessler in 1909 in Paris
13:34LAUGHTER
13:35That's a milking machine!
13:37LAUGHTER
13:39Here's the thing is, he didn't really bother about health and safety. His wife was his very first volunteer and he burnt all her hair off and...
13:46Oh, no!
13:47Yep, scalded and blistered her scalp several times
13:50He blistered her scalp his own wife
13:52LAUGHTER
13:57Sorry!
13:58Sorry!
13:59LAUGHTER
14:00He basically applied an alkali substance to his client's hair, so he started with cow's urine
14:06Mmm!
14:07Later moved to borax, that is the chemical we use today in laundry detergent and for rat poison
14:13And then he wrapped hair around heavy rollers which were 100 degrees centigrade
14:18But each one of those rollers weighed a kilo and so he had to have that contraption, the counterweights to try and take the strain off the head
14:25And they had to sit like that for six hours
14:27LAUGHTER
14:28It's impressive she won Miss America without on her head
14:31LAUGHTER
14:32Now, can you recommend a reliable way of having a brainwave?
14:39I always find, just as I'm about to go to sleep, the most relaxed I can be while still conscious, that's when I'll think of something
14:46Business people say that they call it the shower principle instead of being in water
14:50OK
14:51That's big...
14:52So between you, you've had an idea, which is quite exciting
14:54Tom!
14:55Yes, so water and being on the edge, the precipice of something
14:58Sitting on the edge of a bath
15:00LAUGHTER
15:05That's how they came up with the idea for the towel
15:07LAUGHTER
15:09There's a professional inventor in Tokyo called Dr Yoshiro Nakamatsu
15:13And he comes up with his best ideas underwater, OK?
15:17But his method is to bring himself to the brink of drowning, right?
15:22He believes that the lack of oxygen is what engenders his creativity
15:26He says, half a second before death, I visualise an invention
15:29And he dives down with a waterproof notebook and pencil, his own invention
15:34And he sketches out his ideas
15:35He's applied for three and a half thousand patents in his time
15:38These are his boots that he invented
15:40What do you think they do?
15:42Are they for stealing wigs?
15:44LAUGHTER
15:45100% could do that, because they're just for bouncing
15:48So that was his idea, he nearly died
15:50For that
15:51Yeah
15:52So does someone else wake him up?
15:53Like, who's in charge of the, OK, he's about to die, get him out?
15:57I think he just comes out of the water at that point
15:59So he's in control of all of this?
16:00But this is the theory, until he dies
16:02I mean, unless he drowns himself
16:03And that might be his very best idea
16:04And we never would know
16:05He stays for an extra half a second
16:06Oh, yeah
16:07It's kind of like auto-erotic asphyxiation, but for ideas
16:12LAUGHTER
16:13Or at least that's what he says
16:14He bursts out of the water and says
16:16Bouncing shoes! Bouncing shoes!
16:18LAUGHTER
16:21Is that it? Is that what you've come up with?
16:22And then he runs into Dragon's Den, sopping wet
16:24LAUGHTER
16:25And his soy sauce spray bottle I think is very clever
16:28You can evenly spritz your sushi
16:30That's quite good
16:31Well, that's a good idea, yeah
16:32That's a good idea
16:33But it's not worth nearly dying, is it?
16:34No!
16:35When there's other ways of getting soy sauce on things
16:37Those little fishes
16:38Yeah, they are good
16:39Yeah, but you get the rice, the rice gets soaked and it falls apart
16:43I don't mind if he drowns up by accident because that's a really good invention
16:47LAUGHTER
16:48OK, he also invented an electromagnetic condom
16:52Again, fantastic, actually
16:54LAUGHTER
16:55Does it cure syphilis, asking for a friend?
16:58LAUGHTER
17:00Is that just so you can find true north, is that the...?
17:09LAUGHTER
17:10Apparently, what do I know, the motion of copulation induces a small current in the bloodstream
17:15And that increases pressure?
17:17Would you have to plug it in?
17:19LAUGHTER
17:25Darling, you don't want to be plugged into the mains
17:27Well, that's how
17:28Well, that's what I'm thinking
17:29After getting out an extension lead
17:31Oh
17:32What I love is that the elves know
17:34They're sending me a message saying it's wireless
17:35Thanks, guys
17:36LAUGHTER
17:38APPLAUSE
17:40Anyway, he calls himself Dr Nakamats
17:45Since he was 42, he has taken a photograph of every single meal that he has eaten
17:52I'm glad he said meal, I don't know what he was going to say
17:55LAUGHTER
17:58I mean, have you been on Instagram? That's what everyone's doing
18:01Yeah
18:02Did he invent that as well?
18:04LAUGHTER
18:05He's been doing that since he was 42, he was in his mid-90s
18:07Oh, wow
18:08But he analyses his food and lifestyle and says he will reach the age of 144
18:13Oh
18:14There is an extraordinary culture in Japan, though, of sort of curious ideas
18:17They have a word for it called chingdogu
18:19And it means weird tool
18:21The selfie stick is one that came out of Japan in 1995
18:25But 20 years later, it was, you know, they're ubiquitous
18:27There is a hay fever hat
18:29LAUGHTER
18:31LAUGHTER
18:32So cool
18:33So you've each got a prop next to you
18:35See if you can guess what they are for
18:37These are weird tool inventions
18:39That hay fever hat is by Kenji Kawakami
18:41I mean, mine are
18:43Right
18:44So, Phil
18:46That is a daddy-nurser
18:50It's called the daddy-nurser, it's great, but actually there's all kinds of people who might want to breastfeed their children who can't for whatever reason
18:56People who adopt or people whose milk just doesn't come in or they don't have a big enough supply
19:00So I know it's really silly, but it's also quite a beautiful invention
19:03Hmm
19:04Right, what have you got, Alan?
19:05I mean, they're plastic glasses and they've got little funnels on them
19:08Mm-hmm
19:09So you could pour, erm, eyedrops in?
19:14He's exactly right, darling
19:15They are eyedrop funnel glasses so that you don't spill
19:18That's amazing! That was a good invention!
19:21That was a good invention!
19:23Together, Alan, we could get some pretty precise milk in those eyes
19:27LAUGHTER
19:32You could get very clean eyeballs
19:34What have you got, Sarah?
19:35Well, I've got a toilet plunger, but it's got a ribbon on so you know it's a girl
19:39LAUGHTER
19:41What do you think you might do with it, though? It's not a toilet plunger, I can tell you that
19:44Is this to get my milk to come in?
19:46LAUGHTER
19:47It is a portable subway strap, so what you do is you're on the subway
19:52LAUGHTER
19:54You stick it to the roof
19:56No!
19:57Stick it to the roof
19:58I worry it's not going to be...
19:59Oh, hello!
20:00No!
20:01LAUGHTER
20:02So if you put it above your head...
20:03Yeah, but there's nothing there, son
20:04I see what you mean, so just...
20:06Yeah, pull the phone
20:07When you have to get off, that must be difficult
20:10To be like...
20:11Yes
20:12Right, what have you got, darling?
20:15Now, there should be some toasters, isn't there?
20:16Oh, yes, there is
20:17Oh, I didn't know if that was Sarah, sorry
20:18I thought you'd ordered a snack
20:20LAUGHTER
20:21Open the stick
20:23Oh!
20:24Yes, and have a look
20:25Oh, I bet I know what this is going to be
20:27Is it butter?
20:28Buttering
20:29It's a butter stick for buttering your toast
20:30Oh, look, it works
20:31Oh, that's good
20:32Oh, look, it's lovely
20:34And would you take this with you to events?
20:37LAUGHTER
20:38It's so QVC, you know
20:40It's so...
20:41It's so perfect
20:42It's so elegant
20:44And...
20:45LAUGHTER
20:46I think if I saw somebody with that, I would think, gosh, I wish I was them
20:51LAUGHTER
20:53Then you can do a little bit on your wrists and your neck
20:56Oh, yes
20:57That's true
20:58Maybe put it on your spatula
20:59Lipstick
21:00Yeah
21:01Yeah
21:02Or if you were swimming the channel, you could put it on your chest
21:04Yeah
21:05It's a really good idea
21:06I think we're all trying to use less single-use plastic though, aren't we?
21:09You could make it of wood
21:11Or another fabric, which was a material which was more...
21:14Denim
21:15Denim?
21:16There's a lot of denim
21:17LAUGHTER
21:18A lot of jeans get ripped
21:19Yeah, I'm convinced
21:20Yeah, I think that's the market in that
21:22Can't understand why the two of you have not made a fortune so far
21:25LAUGHTER
21:26I've got other things as well, what's that?
21:28Those are just tissues in case you get butter on you
21:30Now...
21:31LAUGHTER
21:33Right
21:34It's time to wrangle with the tangle that is general ignorance
21:36Fingers on buzzers, please
21:38What happened when War of the Worlds was first broadcast on the radio?
21:42Yes
21:43Everybody panicked, they thought it was real
21:45They set you up, man! They set you up!
21:50Is it the case that it was a news bulletin about it that caused the panic
21:55And not the actual broadcast?
21:57I mean, the whole thing is a sort of myth that's built up around you
21:59Ah
22:00So Orson Welles, who you can see directing...
22:02This is a rehearsal and you can see him directing
22:03Because it was about an alien invasion and people thought it was real
22:06Well, they did and they didn't
22:07It was 1938, it was trailed for weeks as fiction
22:10And Welles told people before the broadcast and after the broadcast
22:14That it was fiction, it was interrupted four times to tell the listeners
22:18It's just a play
22:19And anyway, only 2% of the population listened to it
22:22Aliens would say that though, wouldn't they?
22:24Yeah, that is true
22:25They were invading, they would say, it's just a play
22:28Imagine if that happened with other TV programmes
22:30Imagine if, like, every five minutes in Gavin and Stacey
22:33They had to tell them and go, I'm not really called this
22:35My name's James Corden
22:37There are very few isolated incidents
22:39Wells agreed to compensate one man from Massachusetts for a pair of shoes
22:44Since he had spent the money he had saved for a pair of shoes to get a train ticket to escape the Martians
22:50And he said, I'll buy you some shoes because you're an idiot
22:53Ten years later, there was an actual riot after a radio adaptation of the same play in Quito, Ecuador
23:02But, you know, this was much more understandable
23:05There'd been no warnings
23:06There was a sister newspaper that had deliberately posted fake UFO sightings
23:11The play used impressionists to pretend to be actual politicians and so on
23:15And that riot did result in seven deaths
23:17But the original, 1938, everybody was pretty much fine
23:22Now, where would you find the longest heat wave in living memory?
23:27Sahara Desert, that's hot, isn't it?
23:29Yeah, it is hot
23:30They don't have...
23:32Spain, have you seen A Place in the Sun?
23:38Do you remember our Japanese inventor Dokkanakamatsu?
23:41Oh, yeah, of course
23:42Of Japan
23:43The Underwater Doctor
23:44Underwater
23:45Underwater
23:46Underwater is the longest heat wave on Earth
23:48It was in the North Pacific, so off the western coast of the United States
23:51It lasted 711 days from 2014 to 2016
23:55So we get a large mass of unusually warm water
23:58It's basically a heat wave for the sea
24:00Oh, I just thought it was someone weed in the water
24:03But it's very bad when it happens
24:05So algae thrives, which is very bad news for lots of species like salmon
24:09And they swim away to somewhere colder
24:11Someone needs to put their arm in and just swoosh it about
24:13Yeah, just keep getting it moving
24:14Yeah, like the other end of the bath
24:16But if the fish go because it's too hot or it's too unpleasant
24:20Then the seabirds die and during that heat wave
24:23It was the cause of the biggest known mass die-off of a single species
24:27Four million guillemots died
24:28So, I mean, we need to pay attention
24:30The way in which marine heat waves are defined as quite different to land heat waves
24:33Land heat waves
24:34It's a period of at least five days when temperatures are at least five degrees above average
24:39So, 2013 Antarctica had a heat wave reached heights of minus 30 degrees Celsius
24:46The longest heat wave that we know was in India and that lasted in 2024 lasted for 24 days
24:52There was a British heat wave 1976 which was remarkable
24:55I remember it well
24:56Oh my goodness
24:57And so there was a minister called Dennis Howell and he was made the minister of drugs
25:01Oh!
25:02Dennis Howell, yeah
25:03Look at the colour of his bath water!
25:05I tell
25:06He was charged by the then Prime Minister James Callaghan
25:11Had to persuade everybody to use less water and even persuaded to do a rain dance on behalf of the nation outside number 10
25:17That's when politicians really gave it their all
25:20Anyway, days later there was an enormous amount of rain after his dance and he was made minister of floods
25:26Were they not taking it seriously in the old days?
25:30I don't know because two years later he was the minister of state for snow so
25:34He did all the weather
25:35Yeah
25:36That guy
25:37And this was a professional picture
25:38This wasn't like
25:39This wasn't like leaked
25:40This wasn't like leaked
25:41I don't know if it's his Tinder profile
25:45Erm
25:46What's the largest animal in the world that's not a whale?
25:53Christopher Biggins
25:55I love Christopher Biggins
25:59Biggest non-whale on the planet
26:01Is it still in the water though?
26:03Yes
26:04Oh
26:05I'd say an octopus because they've got these really long tentacles haven't they?
26:09Okay, I can tell you it's about one and a half times the length of a London bus
26:13It's always buses isn't it?
26:14It's always buses
26:15Oh, jellyfish
26:16It's always jellyfish
26:17The biggest non-whale on the planet is a whale shark
26:20We're always talking about buses
26:22Yeah
26:23Right?
26:24And I don't want to do that
26:25So what we're going to do is we are going to use people
26:27So what I do when I come out beginning of the show I learn the names of everybody in the audience
26:34Which is nice because then I can speak to them
26:35So Joe where's my friend Joe?
26:37Right, so Joe is going to hold up a sign at this end
26:40I want to show you how big a whale shark is
26:44And then where is my friend Neil?
26:46Thank you Neil darling
26:47So Neil's going to stand up
26:49So from Neil to Joe that is the size of a whale shark
26:55However, this is not even cracking into the top ten of animals
27:00Obviously we have to go to the large blue whale for something really big
27:04And I don't think we've ever been able to do this before
27:06But my darling could you go all the way to that wall with your sign?
27:11Thank you so much Neil
27:12And if he walks all the way to that wall
27:15There, that is the size of a blue whale
27:19Do you not think that is remarkable?
27:21And we wanted to show you rather than tell you
27:23It's just so many buses
27:25So well done boys, thank you so much
27:27All of which wibbling and wobbling brings us to the straight matter of the scores
27:37Oh is it the end?
27:38Yeah
27:39You won't want to know the end because in last place
27:43All washed up with minus 27 it's Tom
27:49I was so happy
27:51I did well
27:53In third place on the brink of a wipeout with minus 19 it's Sarah
27:57In second place wavering on the edge with minus eight it's Phil
28:03Our winner tonight riding the wave with a whole minus four
28:12It's Alan
28:14So I wave goodbye to Sarah, Tom, Phil and Alan
28:25And I leave you with this wise crack from the late former US president Jimmy Carter
28:30My esteem in the country has gone up substantially so that now when people wave at me they use all their fingers
28:37Thank you and good night
28:39Thank you and good night
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