Watch Episode 7 of Jimmy Carr’s Am I The Asshole? — “A Burger Burglar & Supermarket Sweeper” — full English dub. This episode brings dramatic real‑life dilemmas, confrontations and moral reckonings as ordinary people clash over what’s right or wrong. Brace yourself for intense stories, judgments and shocking revelations that challenge your sense of justice.
#AmITheAsshole #JimmyCarr #RealityTV #EnglishDub #S1E07 #MoralDilemma #DramaSeries #RealStories #JudgementShow #TVSeries
#AmITheAsshole #JimmyCarr #RealityTV #EnglishDub #S1E07 #MoralDilemma #DramaSeries #RealStories #JudgementShow #TVSeries
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Short filmTranscript
00:00Tonight on The Tonight Show.
00:01After seeing Brad Pitt in eyeliner, I wore eyeliner.
00:06True.
00:12Hi, I'm Archie Fallon. This is Drew.
00:13How's that?
00:14How's that, how's that, how's that, how's that, how's that?
00:17Ow!
00:21From Studio 6B in Rockefeller's center
00:23in the heart of New York City,
00:25it's The Tonight Show starring Jimmy Fallon.
00:29Hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:31Tonight joins Jimmy and his guests,
00:32Mila Kunis, Joey DeChanel, Sam Altman,
00:37musical guest, St. Paul and the Broken Bones,
00:39and featuring the legendary Roots crew.
00:42Two, two, two, seven.
00:44And now, here he is, Jimmy Fallon!
00:50Hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:53Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
00:59Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
01:03That's great.
01:04Thank you, Jimmy.
01:13Come on.
01:14Ah, ah, sound great.
01:17Thank you very much.
01:18Welcome, everybody.
01:19Welcome, welcome, welcome to The Tonight Show.
01:22You're here.
01:26Welcome, everybody.
01:27Well, guys, last night, President Trump
01:29became the first president to host
01:31the Kennedy Center Honors himself.
01:34It was like the Golden Globes if the host
01:36was also a Golden Globe.
01:39Orange is gold.
01:41You could tell it was Trump's award show
01:42because the red carpet was just one of his neckties.
01:47I love watching the red carpet pre-show.
01:48The press is like, Mr. President, Mr. President,
01:50what compression socks are you wearing?
01:52Copper Fit? I don't know.
01:58Trump said he rejected honorees who were too woke.
02:02Then he slept through all the acceptance speeches.
02:04He was just like, wake up, wake up.
02:07Yep, Trump decided to host the Kennedy Center Honors himself.
02:10And you could tell that he was running
02:11every aspect of the award show.
02:13Check out the In Memoriam that they played.
02:16And now let's look back at the things
02:18we've lost this past year.
02:21You raise me up so I can stand on mountains.
02:29You raise me up to walk on stormy seas.
02:37I said stormy.
02:39I am strong when I am on your shoulders.
02:45Can you imagine me on your shoulders?
02:48You raise me up to more than I can be.
02:54Thank you, Mr. President.
02:56Thank you, Mr. President.
02:57Thank you, Mr. President.
02:59Beautiful. Beautiful.
03:02Speaking of Trump, he just announced
03:03that he's granted approval for tiny cars
03:06to be built in the United States.
03:09I have a feeling that if Trump got into a tiny car,
03:11he'd never be able to get out.
03:13I live here now.
03:17Burger me.
03:19A lot of people are talking about this.
03:21Netflix just shocked the entertainment industry
03:23by announcing an $83 billion deal
03:26to buy Warner Brothers and HBO.
03:29Yeah, Netflix is buying almost everything
03:30Warner Brothers owns except CNN.
03:33Mmm.
03:34Basically, if Warner Brothers was an edible arrangement,
03:36CNN is the cantaloupe.
03:38Meanwhile, today, Paramount challenged Netflix
03:42and announced the $108 billion hostile takeover bid
03:45for Warner Brothers.
03:46Yep, Netflix offered $83 billion,
03:48Paramount offered $108 billion,
03:50and Tubi offered $20, a pack of Slim Jims,
03:53and two scratch-offs.
03:56Well, some more entertainment news.
03:58Last night, there was a new episode
03:59of The Real Housewives of Potomac,
04:01and it got really heated.
04:02There was a lot of drama between Stacey and Tia.
04:06Now, if you missed it, don't worry,
04:07because here to reenact that scene
04:09with actual lines from the show
04:12are the Roots' own Tariq and Questlove.
04:20Thanks, Jimmy.
04:21Tonight, I'll be playing the role of Stacey,
04:23a QVC presenter who's being confronted by Tia
04:26about being a liar.
04:28And I'll be playing Tia, a realtor
04:30who's confronting Stacey about being a liar.
04:34Okay. Whenever you're ready.
04:37I'm going to tell you
04:41why I'm upset with you.
04:44When I came into this group,
04:45I had heard things that you were, like,
04:49alleged against you,
04:50and I gave you the benefit of the doubt.
04:52All the while, you're courting me, saying,
04:54you had to have my back with the ladies.
04:56I never said that.
04:57Oh, yes, you did.
04:59No, no. You're a liar.
05:01Why are you trying to hijack this conversation?
05:05Because you're trying to build...
05:07No, no, no. Go ahead.
05:09Well...
05:10No, no, no. Go on.
05:11I will...
05:12Just go.
05:13I will if you just shut the up for one second.
05:15Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
05:17You are not going to tell me to shut up.
05:19As I was saying before I was rudely interrupted...
05:24No, no, no, no. You see?
05:26See, this is the real her.
05:28She plays prim and proper, but just like you said,
05:31I don't need to play.
05:33I am prim and proper.
05:36I have extended my manners.
05:37Oh, wait a minute. You didn't extend any manners.
05:39I didn't.
05:40You acted so unladylike.
05:44You want to fit in so bad.
05:48You are the person that has been in this group for a year,
05:51and you still don't fit in.
05:55Oh. My. God.
05:58You are a try-hard.
06:00Just like your fashion.
06:02Get your ass up out of my face.
06:04Get out! Get out!
06:06Not today. You won't act unladylike.
06:09Take your things and be going. Toodle-oo.
06:12I've had enough.
06:13I'm done. I have other things to do today.
06:16Get out! Toodles! Toodles!
06:20Wow. Might be the best. Oh, my gosh.
06:24And the Emmy goes to...
06:29Oh, my gosh.
06:31Let's love it, Tariq, everyone.
06:33That was...
06:36Well, listen to this, guys.
06:38The Louvre just announced that hundreds of Egyptian books
06:42were damaged in a recent water leak.
06:44Yeah. Egyptians were like, well, they would have been fine
06:47if you just left them here in the desert.
06:48Right!
06:55The Louvre. Right now, the director of the Louvre is like,
06:58I'm ready for 2025 to be over. Okay.
07:01Well, guys, New York City is in the middle of a cold snap,
07:04with temperatures dropping down into the teens.
07:06And here now to talk about it is our weather correspondent,
07:09Jerome Davis. Thanks for joining us, Jerome.
07:11Hey, Jimmy. Thanks for having me.
07:14So, tell us, how cold is it out there right now?
07:19Jimmy, it is freezing right now.
07:21It feels like the city is one giant icebox.
07:24I mean, it's so cold right now,
07:26I'm going to go hug a toaster oven to defrost my nipples.
07:32Sorry? Sorry? What did you just say?
07:35Oh, could you not hear me? I said, it's so cold right now,
07:39I'm going to go to McDonald's for a toasty McGriddle.
07:44Oh.
07:47Okay. I thought you said something else.
07:49So, how is everyone managing to stay warm?
07:52Well, many people stay indoors, turn up the heat.
07:55But personally, I just hop, buck naked in my neighbor's jacuzzi,
07:59and wave to the ring cam.
08:03I'm sorry.
08:06I'm sorry, you do what?
08:08I said, I personally, I just wear a puffy jacket
08:11and scroll through the Instagram.
08:13Is there something wrong with the audio, or...?
08:16Well, maybe not. I can't tell.
08:17It's important to keep a warm core to prevent hyperthermia.
08:20Are people wearing layers?
08:22Oh, yes, definitely. People are wearing lots of layers.
08:25But I keep my core warm by slowly drizzling my chest
08:30with hot nacho cheese.
08:32Okay, now I'm positive.
08:34I just heard you say you keep your core warm
08:36by drizzling your chest with hot nacho cheese?
08:38I most certainly did not say that.
08:41I said I drink hot toddy so my core doesn't freeze.
08:45What's going on with the connection?
08:48Let's just wrap this up.
08:50By the way, are you cold right now?
08:52You're not even wearing a coat.
08:54But what I am wearing is a kilt,
08:56and I'm standing over a subway grate like Marilyn Monroe.
09:00Oh, boy, trains are coming.
09:02Oh, baby, that's hot.
09:09Get out of here!
09:11Get out of here!
09:14Get out of here!
09:15I'm gonna stop having that guy on.
09:17Bye, take care!
09:21Take care!
09:22Go! Take care!
09:23Take a walk!
09:24Take a walk!
09:25Take care, buddy!
09:26Good to see you again.
09:27Take care, buddy.
09:29All right, all right.
09:31Show's off the rails tonight.
09:33All right, get him out of here! Oh, my God!
09:38Finally, guys, we have exactly seven shows left before we go on Christmas break,
09:47which means it's time for that beloved Tonight Show tradition,
09:5012 Days of Christmas Sweaters!
09:5312 Days of Christmas Sweaters, 7 days left!
10:00That's right!
10:02Every show between now and Christmas,
10:04we'll be giving one lucky audience member a Slay-mazing Christmas sweater
10:09from our Countdown to Christmas cabinet.
10:14Since there are seven shows left, let's open door number seven.
10:21Can I just say, I'm having the best time.
10:26You are?
10:33Yes!
10:35Ever since I was little, I always wanted to open tiny doors,
10:41and it's been a dream of mine.
10:44So, I just want to say to you, Jimmy,
10:47thank you for making that dream come true.
10:53Richard, don't cry. Don't cry.
11:03I wasn't.
11:05I was acting!
11:07All right, thank you, Richard. Here we go.
11:08Now, so door number seven.
11:11Richard, whenever you're ready, offence.
11:14This is a beauty.
11:22Richard, thank you. This is...
11:29Wow. This is gorgeous.
11:32All right, now, let's see who's going home with tonight's sweater.
11:35Everyone, look at your seat number!
11:37If I call your number, I need you to jump up
11:39and let me know where you are.
11:40Quest, can I get a drum roll, please?
11:42Who wants me to pick their number and sing a one?
11:49237!
12:03Get over here!
12:05How are you? Nice to see you. Welcome!
12:09Congratulations.
12:12Thanks.
12:13You've won tonight's Christmas sweater.
12:15What is your name?
12:16Bella.
12:17Bella, where are you from?
12:18Toms River, New Jersey.
12:19Hey! I love Toms River, New Jersey!
12:24Bella, you have a beautiful outfit on time,
12:26but it's very thin. It's cold outside.
12:28Yeah, I need that.
12:29You need this sweater.
12:30Would you like to try it on right now?
12:31Can I?
12:32Yeah, please!
12:33Can't do it.
12:34No, this is exciting. I'll help you.
12:38You look gorgeous.
12:39No, look!
12:40Oh!
12:41This is stunning.
12:42You look stunning. Look at that.
12:45You look stunning! Come on!
12:47Gorgeous!
12:49Congratulations!
12:50Round of applause for our winner.
12:52Stick around. We're talking to Mila Kunis.
12:54When we come back, everybody!
12:55When I thought the night shouldn't get better
12:58I'm the one that's still in the world
13:00It's better
13:01We're laughing, we're laughing, we're laughing, we're laughing
13:03We're talking, we're talking, we're talking
13:04We're talking, we're talking
13:05We're talking
13:06We're talking
13:07We're talking
13:08How the problem at?
13:09Outside is getting caught.
13:10Poor man.
13:11Listen.
13:12Too pertained.
13:15Our first guest is a Golden Globe-nominated actor
13:18who you can see in the new movie Wake Up Dead Man,
13:21A Knives Out Mystery.
13:23It's in select theaters now and on Netflix Friday.
13:26Everyone, please welcome Mila Kunis!
13:47Welcome, welcome, welcome back!
13:49Jimmy, I just realized I wore the wrong dress for sitting.
13:52I really did.
13:53As I sat down, I was like,
13:54Boy, this is really...
13:55This is way more comfortable in this dress
13:57But I don't think that that's going to be approved.
13:59You could sit like that if you want to.
14:00This is how I have to sit for the whole interview.
14:01I'll just do it with you and act like that's how I sit.
14:03Do I look weird sitting like this, though?
14:04No, this looks normal.
14:07It's perfect.
14:08This is how I can sit?
14:09This is perfect.
14:10Okay.
14:11No, you look...
14:12No, that looks perfect. That looks normal.
14:13I feel like, okay, whatever.
14:14You look great.
14:16How are you? How's the fam? How's everything going?
14:17Everybody's really good.
14:18Yes.
14:19I want to talk about your movie because I absolutely loved it.
14:21I love the Knives Out movies.
14:22This one is fantastic.
14:23It's the third one in the series.
14:24Wake Up, Dead Man.
14:25Yeah.
14:26Knives Out.
14:27You got Rian Johnson.
14:28Oh, yeah. Clap.
14:29Yeah.
14:31Because there's a murder.
14:33There is a murder.
14:35It's so good.
14:36Yeah, Daniel Craig is off the chain great.
14:39Yes.
14:40Everybody's great in this, by the way.
14:41It's such a fun experience.
14:42You are great.
14:43Joshua Connor, Kerry Washington, Glenn Close.
14:45Yes.
14:46Everybody hits home runs.
14:47I love the movie because all these movies, I never have any idea where it's going to go.
14:52There's another twist, another turn.
14:53It's so good.
14:54It pays off at the end.
14:55You play a police officer.
14:57Do you think that you would be a good police officer with solving crimes?
15:02Um, I think I'd be fine.
15:05Yeah?
15:06I think I would have too many feelings.
15:07Like, I would just, I would be like, no, I don't know.
15:10I don't know.
15:11I would fail.
15:12I don't think I would get past the academy.
15:13I thought, I thought maybe we could play a fun game here where it's called snap judgments,
15:17okay?
15:18Well, that I can do.
15:19I'm really good at judging.
15:20Yeah.
15:21Judging I can do.
15:22Judging you can do?
15:23I'm doing creative judging.
15:25Alright, here's what we're going to do.
15:27So we have two cards, alright?
15:29We're going to have to instantly guess if the other person is lying or telling the truth,
15:32okay?
15:33You just say true or false.
15:34Are we on a clock or do I just say it right away?
15:36I just trust system.
15:38Just say it right away.
15:39Okay, go.
15:40We can't afford a clock.
15:41Okay, great.
15:42Sorry.
15:43My middle name is Allen.
15:45James Allen?
15:47False.
15:48After seeing Brad Pitt in eyeliner, I wore eyeliner.
15:53True.
16:04You didn't even think for a second on that one.
16:07Okay, sorry.
16:08In college, I majored in computer programming.
16:13False.
16:14God, that's going to be true, isn't it?
16:19Wait.
16:20I performed stand-up at Woodstock 99.
16:25False.
16:26True.
16:27No, false.
16:28No, true.
16:29True, true.
16:30True, true, true.
16:31Okay, I don't know.
16:34What's the next one?
16:35I think mayonnaise is disgusting.
16:39True.
16:41False.
16:42I don't know.
16:43Let's see how you did.
16:44You answered true, false for the last three of them.
16:46But my middle name is Allen.
16:49You guessed false because I would be Jimmy Allen Fallon.
16:54You are correct.
16:55That is not my middle name.
16:56It's Thomas.
16:57Okay.
16:58Okay.
16:59This is the one.
17:00This is the one that's going to stick in my head.
17:03After seeing Brad Pitt in eyeliner, I wore eyeliner.
17:06You immediately said true.
17:09That is false.
17:10I did not.
17:11In college, I majored in computer programming.
17:14That is true.
17:15I knew it.
17:16Yeah.
17:17I think I said one of them.
17:18I can't. Yeah.
17:19I loved it. Yeah.
17:20I performed stand-up at Woodstock.
17:21Where did you land on that?
17:25False.
17:26I did.
17:27I said true.
17:28Oh, I didn't mean to curse.
17:29I'm so sorry.
17:30Didn't I say?
17:31It's crossed out on the cue card because no one knew what you were saying.
17:35No, no, no.
17:36Go with the cue card.
17:37I think mayonnaise is disgusting.
17:40I said true to that.
17:43You love me, you?
17:44Oh.
17:45No, I do not like mayonnaise.
17:46I think it's disgusting.
17:47Ugh!
17:48Ugh!
17:49I hate mayonnaise!
17:51Ugh!
17:52Ew!
17:53Ew!
17:54Ew!
17:55It reminds me of puss.
17:58I like you.
17:59Alright, here we go.
18:00Here we go, everybody.
18:02You want to play?
18:04You want to play?
18:05Okay.
18:06So you got two correct.
18:07I got all correct.
18:08Is that right?
18:09I got one wrong.
18:10True.
18:11No, we're going by one.
18:12No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
18:14No, no, no, no, no.
18:15She can judge.
18:16Judge, she says two and a half.
18:18Okay, okay.
18:19Alright, here we go.
18:20Alright.
18:21I did tequila shots with Helen Mirren in Milan.
18:24True.
18:25My first pet's name was Jason Priestley.
18:29True.
18:30Okay.
18:31Chuck Norris taught me how to punch.
18:34Wow.
18:36That would be so cool.
18:38I'm going to say true again.
18:40Kristen Bell sang me happy birthday at Benihana's.
18:44Yes.
18:47True.
18:48Okay.
18:49I once reached level 70 in World of Warcraft.
18:57True.
18:58Wait, did I say everything was true?
18:59Yep.
19:00Is any of them false?
19:02Yep.
19:03Gosh, darn it.
19:04Should I do it again?
19:05Yep.
19:06Yes.
19:07Alright, let me do it real fast.
19:08I did tequila shots with Helen Mirren in Milan.
19:10Uh, false.
19:11My first pet's name was Jason Priestley.
19:12False.
19:13Chuck Norris taught me how to punch.
19:14Oh, I think you're cool.
19:15I think that's true.
19:16Okay.
19:17K-Bell sang me happy birthday at Benihana's.
19:18She's fun.
19:19I think that's true.
19:20Okay.
19:21I once reached level 70 in World of Warcraft.
19:22I feel like you might have a nerdy side, so I'm going to say that's true.
19:25Okay.
19:26Okay.
19:27Alright, first one.
19:28Alright, so the first one, I guess, false.
19:30You did tequila shots with Helen Mirren in Milan.
19:32False.
19:33It is false.
19:34It is false.
19:36It is false.
19:39Your first pet's name was Jason Priestley.
19:42I said false.
19:43It's true?
19:44It's false.
19:45Yes!
19:46It is false.
19:47Alright, here's where it might go off the rails.
19:50Chuck Norris taught me how to punch.
19:52I just want that to be true.
19:54It's true.
19:56Okay.
19:59Alright.
20:00Kristen Bell sang you happy birthday at Benihana.
20:03That is not true.
20:05Ah!
20:06No, sorry.
20:07Okay.
20:08It's a good one.
20:09Okay.
20:10You once reached level 70 in World of Warcraft.
20:12I said that was true.
20:13That is sadly true.
20:15Yes!
20:16I did really well!
20:17Did he?
20:18Yes.
20:19Four to two and a half.
20:21I'm the reigning champ.
20:22Yay, me!
20:23I want to show you.
20:24I want to show everyone a clip.
20:28Here's Mila Kunis and Daniel Craig in Wake Up Dead Man.
20:31Take a look.
20:32I owe Detective Elliot a fruit basket for giving me your number.
20:35I am just glad to be of service.
20:37Geraldine, you had the foresight to see that this goes way beyond normal police work.
20:42This is something you and I have not experienced.
20:46A textbook example of a perfectly impossible crime.
20:51The stuff of detective fiction.
20:53This should not exist in our real world.
20:56And yet here it is.
20:59The Holy Grail.
21:01Look, I love the passion.
21:03I just need to feel confident that you know this case is solvable.
21:05Well, I'm incapable of not solving a crime.
21:08That moment of checkmate.
21:10When I take the stage and unravel my opponent's web.
21:14Oh, you'll see.
21:15It's fun.
21:16Oh, yeah!
21:17Mila Kunis, everyone!
21:18Wake Up Dead Man!
21:19A Knives Out Mystery is in select theaters now and on Netflix Friday.
21:24We'll be right back with more Tonight Show, everybody.
21:26Come on.
21:30The Nitro, everybody.
21:31Come on.
21:32What up, what up?
21:33It's the man you better know and love.
21:35Whether you can surprise me.
21:37The cursed queen.
21:38Cause I'm from his worst chain.
21:40Yeah.
21:43Our next guest is an Emmy and Grammy-nominated performer who stars in the new film, Merv,
21:49which begins streaming this Wednesday on Prime Video.
21:52Please welcome Zooey Deschanel!
22:04Zooey!
22:06Yes!
22:08Come on!
22:10I'm so happy you're here.
22:11I'm so happy to be here.
22:13Zooey, we go way back, by the way.
22:15I know.
22:16We did a music video for one of my songs.
22:19Your song was just so good.
22:21Idiot Boyfriend.
22:22Everybody knows it.
22:23Yeah, of course.
22:24Don't sing it all at once.
22:25Don't sing it all at once.
22:26But if you wanted to.
22:27But if you wanted to.
22:28We'll do it after the show.
22:31You know it.
22:32I had so much fun hanging out with you.
22:34It's so fun.
22:35I love that.
22:36Was it a long shoot?
22:37It was like several days, I think.
22:39Yes, yeah.
22:40It was like a long shoot.
22:41It was back when they had budgets for videos.
22:43Yes.
22:44Did you do different genres?
22:45Yeah.
22:46Bobby Brown.
22:47Yep.
22:48Prince.
22:49Yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:50Who else did we do?
22:51You were a disco.
22:52It was like an off-the-wall kind of.
22:53There was a Michael Jackson off-the-wall.
22:54Yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:55I was floating in space in that silver outfit.
22:56Yeah, that was really good.
22:57Oh, my God.
22:58You were the best to work with.
22:59It was so fun.
23:00You were.
23:01No, stop, stop, stop.
23:02You were.
23:03The coolest.
23:05You're so talented.
23:06And I always wanted to ask you about this story
23:08because I loved you on New Girl as well.
23:10And you have to explain.
23:17What?
23:18When Prince was on New Girl.
23:20Uh-huh.
23:21What do you want me to explain about it?
23:23Well, how did it happen?
23:25And who called who?
23:26And how does Prince end up on the show?
23:29How did it all go down?
23:30Yeah.
23:31Great question.
23:33Okay, so I get an e-mail, like, out of the blue one day.
23:37Yep.
23:38From an unknown e-mail.
23:40And it's like, hello, I'm manager to legendary artist Prince.
23:45And I was like, this is a joke for sure.
23:48Who got my e-mail?
23:49Who's pranking me?
23:51And so I sent the e-mail along to my agent.
23:54I'm like, this can't be legit.
23:56But just, like, check.
23:57Because if it were Prince, I'd be stoked, of course.
24:00And then he took a few days and he got back to me.
24:04He's like, this is legit.
24:05And, I mean, the body of the letter was like,
24:08Prince loves New Girl.
24:11Watching it on tour with his band.
24:14Very invested in Nick and Jess.
24:18Oh, my gosh.
24:20Wants to come on.
24:21He's the best. He's the best.
24:23And then, so when he came, not only did I then get to do a...
24:28Like, release a single with him, which was a complete surprise to me.
24:33It was a scratch vocal I did for, like, as a prerecord for the set.
24:38And, like, Prince disappeared for, like, six hours.
24:41And he came back and he's like, I mixed it into a single.
24:44Okay?
24:45And then, not only that, but I was the one who got a sign.
24:49I have, like, a weird superpower where I'm not, like, afraid to talk to anyone.
24:53It's not that I'm not intimidated by people, but I can just talk, like, endlessly.
24:58So, they were like, you have to go hang out with Prince.
25:02And I was like, yes.
25:04Watch me.
25:05I will.
25:06So, I went and I, like, I hung out with Prince.
25:08Like, I was, like, his, like, host for the day.
25:11I, like...
25:12What did you talk to him about?
25:13Everything. Like, pancakes.
25:15Zoe, you are unbelievable.
25:18You are not being serious.
25:20You talked to Prince about pancakes?
25:22Omelets. Yeah, everything.
25:23Omelets?
25:24Everything.
25:25What do you mean, omelets?
25:26I'll tell you he made omelets with coconut oil.
25:28That's all I know.
25:30Did you ever know that?
25:31I still haven't tried.
25:32Did you know that? He liked coconut oil?
25:34Yeah.
25:35You knew about...
25:36I did not know about that.
25:37I did not know about coconut oil.
25:38The pancakes.
25:39Yeah, and then, once he had a guitar, like, he could just play, like, anything.
25:44And he started playing the Tighten Up by Archie Bell and the Drills.
25:48And I go, that's the Tighten Up.
25:50Oh, he goes, what's that?
25:51And I go, Archie Bell and the Drills.
25:53Oh, you would know.
25:54And I knew.
25:55And I was, like, just stoked I knew his reference.
25:58And then I was kind of good with him for the rest of the time.
26:01But you always...
26:02I love that you were like, that's Archie Bell and the Drills.
26:04Yeah.
26:05Tighten Up.
26:06Yeah.
26:07Everybody knows Tighten Up.
26:09You guys know Tighten Up, right?
26:10They have to.
26:11Of course, Ruth knows Archie Bell and the Drills.
26:13You guys are working out.
26:15We'll talk later.
26:16It's going to Tighten Up.
26:19Tighten Up.
26:20Tighten Up.
26:21Tighten Up.
26:22I didn't do it.
26:23It's going to Tighten Up.
26:25Weep, weep, weep, weep, weep, weep.
26:32Can you hit...
26:36There you go.
26:37Hi, I'm Archie Bell.
26:39This is Drills.
26:44I love that.
26:45So you bond with Prince.
26:47You guys are like the band version of Prince.
26:49This is incredible.
26:50Yeah, this is like having Prince.
26:51This is like having Prince.
26:53Thank you for telling that story.
26:55Of course.
26:56Let's talk about the cutest.
26:59Let's talk about Merv.
27:00Oh, my gosh.
27:02Can we describe?
27:03I know.
27:04It's so cute.
27:05Look at Merv.
27:06Now, by the way, how do we explain what Merv is about?
27:09Okay, so it's fairly easy to explain.
27:12Yep.
27:13It's a story of a couple that's broken up, but they share custody of a dog, which happens to a lot of people.
27:21Yeah.
27:22Because dogs are our family, too.
27:24And the dog becomes depressed because they're broken up and they have to take the dog on vacation together.
27:33It's so cute.
27:34So it's really cute.
27:35And it's like takes place at Christmas.
27:37So it's like not a hard Christmas movie like Elf where it's like they're going hard at the Christmas.
27:43It's like a soft Christmas movie like a Love Actually or something like that where there's like Christmas in the background kind of.
27:48Yeah.
27:49So it's got Christmasy elements.
27:51It's got dog elements and it has rom-com elements.
27:54So.
27:55Come on.
27:56What more do you want?
27:57I love it.
27:58I love Merv.
27:59I want to show a clip.
28:01Here's Zooey Deschanel in Merv.
28:03Take a look.
28:04Anna, what are you doing here?
28:05I'm trying to help our dog.
28:07When you sent that picture of him looking so sad still, I felt awful.
28:12This is because of us.
28:13And if there's anything I can do to help him feel better before his little heart explodes,
28:18I will do it.
28:19Like what?
28:20Cheering him up with your mere presence?
28:22He's probably freaked out.
28:23You've turned up dressed like some weird lady spy.
28:27First of all, lady spies are just spies.
28:30In case you didn't get that Venmo.
28:32And also, I'm dressed like this because I'm allergic to the sun.
28:35Oh, here we go.
28:36I know that.
28:37I get hives all over my body.
28:38No, you don't.
28:39You don't get hives.
28:40You get sunburned.
28:41One full hive.
28:42You get sunburned.
28:43Come on.
28:44Not in front of Merv.
28:45Come on, guys.
28:46Zooey Deschanel.
28:47Merv begins streaming this Wednesday on Prime Video.
28:51More tonight's show after the break.
28:53Stick around, everybody.
28:54Now make it work.
28:55It's coming tight up.
28:58It's coming tight up.
28:59It's coming tight up now.
29:01It's coming tight up.
29:03Go on and do it.
29:04Just tell me love y'all.
29:06It's looking tight up.
29:08It's coming tight up.
29:10It's coming tight up.
29:11It's looking tight up now.
29:14Go on and do it.
29:16It's coming tight up now.
29:18I don't like you, but I ain't concerned
29:23Because I'm more concerned with the pay that I earn
29:25And listen
29:26Our next guest is an entrepreneur, investor,
29:31and technology executive best known as the CEO
29:33and co-founder of OpenAI,
29:36the artificial intelligence research company
29:38behind ChatGPT.
29:40Please welcome Sam Altman!
29:48ChatGPT.
29:50Sam Altman, welcome!
29:55Thank you so much for coming on.
29:57Thanks for having me.
29:57Sam, you've been considered one of the leading figures in AI.
30:02You co-founded OpenAI, which led to ChatGPT,
30:07which is celebrating three years now, ChatGPT.
30:11When all this is happening, first off, what is ChatGPT?
30:16Can we just do that for anyone?
30:19My dad's probably watching it.
30:20It's like an AI chatbot.
30:22You ask a question, it tells you what to do.
30:23And it tells you what to do.
30:24And so it's like Google search,
30:26but you've made it into more of a thing
30:28that you can have a conversation with.
30:30Yeah.
30:31You know, it's gotten, like, much smarter
30:32over the last three years.
30:33So it used to not do very much.
30:34Maybe it used to only do Google search.
30:36And now it can, like, really do a lot of stuff.
30:38People are asking it for, like, healthcare advice,
30:40how to learn stuff.
30:41Yeah, tell me about what are the pros of ChatGPT.
30:45The number of people that reach out to us
30:47and are like, I had this crazy health condition.
30:50I couldn't figure out what was going on.
30:51I just put my symptoms into ChatGPT
30:52and it told me what test to ask the doctor for
30:55and I got it and I'm cured.
30:56Like, that's great.
30:57That happens a lot.
30:58Wow.
30:58You can definitely learn anything.
31:00Anything?
31:01Pretty much.
31:02I haven't found anything I can't learn.
31:03You can do your work way, way faster.
31:05You can use it instead of Google.
31:07You can use it for, like, advice about your life.
31:08People talk about all the people in their life
31:10and trying to figure out what to do.
31:11The idea is it's like a general purpose sort of life advisor.
31:15Yeah, and I know that you and your husband
31:17just had a baby.
31:18Congratulations.
31:18We did, thank you.
31:19Yeah.
31:21How old is he?
31:22Eight months.
31:22Eight months old?
31:23Yeah.
31:24Are you loving him?
31:25So much.
31:25It's the greatest thing in the world.
31:26I have no non-cliche thing to say,
31:28but it is by far so much better
31:30than anything anyone tells you.
31:32I am just so incredibly happy.
31:34And do you use ChatGPT when raising your baby?
31:37I cannot imagine having gone through,
31:39like, figuring out how to raise a newborn
31:40without ChatGPT.
31:41Clearly, people did it for a long time.
31:43No problem.
31:43Yes.
31:44But...
31:45Yeah, it did.
31:47So I know, like, it clearly was possible.
31:49Yes, it was possible.
31:50But I have relied on it so much.
31:53I mean, it's obviously, like,
31:55the most important thing to have in my life,
31:56so it's top of mind, and I use it all the time.
31:58But, like, I was...
31:59A couple of months ago, I was at a party.
32:01I was talking to this guy, and, you know,
32:02we had kids about the same age,
32:04so we were talking about that.
32:04And, you know, he was like,
32:06oh, you know, what's your kid doing?
32:07Normal conversation.
32:08And he's like, yeah, these, you know,
32:10six months old, once they start crawling,
32:12it's everywhere.
32:13They go everywhere.
32:14And I was like, my six-month-old can't crawl yet?
32:16And he was like, you sure, like, you know,
32:18maybe, he's like, you sure about that?
32:19You think he's okay?
32:21And I was like...
32:21You think mine can't?
32:22I was like, well, I think he's, like,
32:23about to start.
32:24I'm sure he's doing fine.
32:25And, by the way, I bet my kid can do
32:26a lot of things yours can't,
32:27so it's all right.
32:29But then I, like, ran to the bathroom,
32:31and I was like, do I need to take my kid
32:32to, like, the doctor tomorrow morning?
32:33Is this okay?
32:34Should every kid be able to walk
32:36at six months?
32:36Yeah, crawl.
32:38Crawl.
32:38And, I mean, yours can't.
32:40No, no, mine, yours can't.
32:42Mine walked at six.
32:43Yeah.
32:45Mine was on Dancing with the Stars
32:46at seven months.
32:47There we go.
32:48Semi-finalist, no big deal.
32:51But it was a really...
32:52I got this, like, great answer back,
32:54which was, like, of course it's normal.
32:56Of course you don't need to go to the doctor.
32:57You know, parents do all these sorts of things.
33:00And, by the way, and it's personalized.
33:03Like, ChatGPT gets to know you.
33:04And, you know, by the way,
33:06you're the CEO of OpenAI.
33:07You probably are around, like,
33:08all these high-achieving people.
33:09Maybe you don't want to, like,
33:10project that onto your kid,
33:11and you should just, like, relax,
33:12and he'll be fine, and, you know, whatever.
33:14And I was like, oh, okay.
33:15What about ChatGPT now?
33:17What are the cons?
33:18What are we worried about?
33:21What are the things that people don't like about him?
33:23Um, I mean, a long list of things.
33:26But one of the things that I'm worried about
33:31is just the rate of change
33:32that's happening in the world right now.
33:34You know, this is a three-year-old technology.
33:36No other technology has ever been adopted
33:37by the world this fast.
33:40It is a truly general-purpose thing.
33:42The same thing that can figure out
33:44how to go cure a bunch of diseases
33:45can be used in a bunch of negative ways.
33:48The rate at which jobs will change over
33:50may be pretty fast.
33:52I have no doubt that we'll figure out
33:53all new jobs to do
33:55and sort of, I hope, much better jobs.
33:57But the speed at which this is happening
33:59is this just sort of, like,
34:01barrels through society
34:02and making sure that we introduce this
34:05to the world in a responsible way
34:07where people have time to adapt,
34:08to give input, to figure out how to do this.
34:10Yeah.
34:10You could imagine that,
34:11us getting that wrong.
34:13Yeah, and are people on it?
34:15Yeah, like, again,
34:16this has gone really well so far,
34:19better than I would have thought.
34:20If you look at the trajectory
34:21of the last three years,
34:21we have integrated this into our lives,
34:23into society.
34:24People use it in all sorts of really great ways.
34:28And we've been able to get, so far,
34:30a lot of the benefits.
34:31And I think we've done a good, thoughtful job
34:33as a society of mitigating the downsides.
34:36But we're still feeling our way through this.
34:38And I'm sure as the intelligence keeps ramping,
34:41there will be a lot more to come.
34:43And when do you think, like,
34:44it's all going to be, like, perfected?
34:48I hope never.
34:50You know, I hope just we have a relent...
34:53We as the human species,
34:55we have this relentless drive to improve
34:56and make things better
34:57and to want more and to do more
34:58and to create more.
34:59And I hope that keeps going forever.
35:01But if you just look at how far it's come,
35:04even this year, in 2025,
35:06you know, we started this year
35:06with these models that could do
35:08a little bit of math.
35:09By the end of the year,
35:10we're doing better math
35:13than our best mathematicians
35:14at our most difficult competitions.
35:15And what's the biggest thing you see happening
35:18out of Chachibutti in the next five years?
35:22Five years is a long time.
35:24In five years, I think a lot.
35:26Next year, I hope we'll start to see these models
35:28really make small but important
35:30new scientific discoveries.
35:32And in five years,
35:33I hope they're curing diseases.
35:34Thank you so much for coming on
35:36and talking about this stuff.
35:38I appreciate this.
35:39And please hug that little baby.
35:41I will do that.
35:42Sam Allman, everybody.
35:43We'll be right back
35:44with more Tonight Show.
35:45Stick around.
35:46Performing Fall Moon
36:02from their new self-titled album,
36:04please welcome St. Paul
36:06and the Broken Bones!
36:08You love me and you always did
36:31and you always will
36:32and I'm running on
36:33Don't worry, maybe I'll fix it
36:36in the next song
36:37Just kidding, please let me be
36:41the smart one
36:42for all it wants
36:44Don't stop reading
36:45till you hear what's got me wrong
36:48Let me ask you
36:51I'll be back in that fire room
36:53Where the spring, your summertime,
36:57your beauty shots do
36:59I can't wait to get old
37:02And just talk to you
37:04Oh, I miss you, baby
37:07Oh, I miss you, baby
37:09I hope that they made you smile
37:23Just a tiny bit
37:24For a little while
37:26God knows you deserve more
37:28Oh, I just want some
37:30It's hard in a pretty way
37:33I'll tell you why
37:35I love you so
37:36Don't stop reading this last line
37:39One more time
37:40Love me as a merry man
37:44In that fire room
37:46Where the spring, your summertime,
37:49your beauty shots do
37:51I can't wait to get old
37:54And just talk to you
37:57Oh, I miss you, baby
37:59Oh, I miss you, baby
38:02Oh, I need y'all to clap with me
38:04When the morning went to
38:09Oh, I miss you
38:11deep into you
38:13I 한 my, miss you
38:14And just say
38:15and take back
38:16Nope
38:16If you let the spring
38:17We'll be out
38:17Next
38:18We'll be able to
38:19We'll be able to
38:20We'll be able to
38:2029,000
38:21Mary
38:21With the spring
38:21ning
38:22So
38:23We'll be able to
38:23We'll be able to
38:24We'll be able to
38:24I've been able to
38:25See your
38:27fly
38:27後
38:28Someone
38:28You
38:29が
38:29I'll be able to
38:30Pull on
38:31Oh,之
38:31We'll be able to
38:32you
38:33You already
38:33Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
39:03Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
39:33Come on now
39:41That is how you do it
39:43Thank you
39:44That is how you do it
39:45St. Paul and the Broken Bowls
39:48Catch him on tour now
39:50We'll be right back everybody
39:52Tell me why, tell me so
39:55You ask me to go high
39:56I tell you to go low
39:57I want to see you muck on that air
40:02Can you dig it?
40:03Yeah, let's sing the song
40:04My thanks to Mira Tunis
40:08Zooey Deschanel
40:10Sam Altman
40:11St. Paul and the Broken Bowls
40:14Once again
40:15And the Roots right there
40:19From Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
40:20Thank you for watching
40:22Stay tuned for Late Night
40:24With Seth Meyers
40:25Good night, everybody
40:26Get involved
40:27Better get involved
40:29Get, get, get involved
40:31Get into it
40:33Do it
40:34Uh-huh
40:38Set
40:41Get into it
40:46Enough
40:48Uh-huh
40:49druk
40:49D
40:54Up
40:55Jump
40:57Up
40:57Watch
40:57Tom
40:58nach
40:58Start
41:00At
41:01$
41:01$
41:02$
41:05$
41:07$
41:07$
41:08$
41:08$
41:08For
41:09$
41:10$
41:12$
41:13$
41:14$
41:14$
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