- 1 day ago
Jack is kidnapped and forced to make a $10,000 withdrawal from the bank.
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00:00From Hollywood, the Jack Benny Program.
00:24Hey, fellas, it's getting late, and we've got an early rehearsal tomorrow, so let's make this the last hand.
00:28Don, Dennis, it's your deal.
00:30Okay.
00:31Hey, Don, while I'm dealing, why don't you tell Jack about that idea you got?
00:35What, what, what, what, what idea?
00:38Well, Jack, I know I'm not a writer, but I have an idea I think of a great television show.
00:42You have now? What is it?
00:44Well, you've heard of dual roles where an actor plays two parts.
00:48Yeah, well, that's been done to death.
00:50I know, Jack, but in this idea of mine, you play a triple role.
00:54Triple role?
00:55Well, that would be different.
00:56Uh, what parts would I play?
00:59Well, you play the part of a man, a boy, and a dog.
01:07A dog?
01:09Well, how could I play a dog?
01:10You have to take your glasses off.
01:16Dennis, I know a place where you can get your ears clipped.
01:18Look, Don, I've been in show business about 30 years, and I have yet to play the part of a dog.
01:30But then there's the first time for everything.
01:32Now, what kind of a dog would I be?
01:33A St. Bernard, a Chihuahua, a Pekingese?
01:36Well, what difference does it make?
01:37What kind of dog, Jack?
01:39Well, I doubt that I can be an Irish setter.
01:42I could teach you to bark with a brogue.
01:47Ah!
01:48Begara.
01:51Never mind, just play your hand.
01:54Hey, wait a minute.
01:56It's a misdeal.
01:56I've got 16 cards.
01:58Oh, let's throw them in.
01:59It's too late to start another hand.
02:01Okay.
02:03You owe each of us 50 cents.
02:05I don't owe you anything.
02:06I furnish the cards.
02:08Wait a minute, Jack.
02:09You can't charge us for the cards.
02:11It says right here on the case, courtesy of Harris Club, Lake Tahoe.
02:15They gave me the courtesy.
02:17I'm not giving it to you.
02:20What time is rehearsal tomorrow?
02:2510 o'clock.
02:26And don't be late, Dennis.
02:29Okay.
02:30Good night, Mr. Benny.
02:31Good night.
02:32Begara.
02:36Oh, Jack.
02:37Yes, Don?
02:38Jack, I don't like to be a pest, but I wish you'd consider that idea of mine.
02:42I think your playing a triple role has a lot of potentiality.
02:45Now, why don't you leave the ideas to me?
02:47Well, all right.
02:48But look, Jack, I'm very anxious to get into the creative side of the business,
02:52so next time you have an idea, call me and let me work on it, will you?
02:55I'll call you.
02:55I'll call you.
02:56I'll call you.
02:57Well, thanks very much, Jack.
02:58So long.
02:58So long.
03:00Good night, Don.
03:00Good night.
03:01Good night.
03:01Good night.
03:01Good night.
03:01Good night.
03:03Good night.
03:03Good night.
03:03Good night.
03:03Good night.
03:05Good night.
03:05Good night.
03:05Good night.
03:06Good night.
03:08Gee, Lassie makes a lot of money.
03:14Woof.
03:16Now.
03:18Well, I don't know.
03:21I don't feel like going to bed yet.
03:23I think I'll read a while.
03:26Let's see.
03:27From Rags to Riches by Horatio Alger, Tom Swift and his flying machine, Lolita Goes to
03:38Disneyland, 1130.
03:43I might as well go to bed.
03:45Well, who can that be at 1130 at night?
03:51Bet it's Don Wilson with those silly ideas up his.
03:56Look, Don, why don't you...
03:57Hello?
03:58I'm terribly sorry to disturb you at such a late hour.
04:17Well, what's late?
04:18I mean, it's only 1130.
04:20I mean, gosh, many times I stay up till midnight, you know.
04:24What can I do for you?
04:27Well, it's the silliest thing.
04:29I was driving home and my car stopped right in front of your house and I can't get the little
04:34old motor started again.
04:36Oh, that's a shame.
04:38Well, you come right in here and you call the little old auto club.
04:45There, right there.
04:46Go ahead.
04:47I'm not a member of the auto club.
04:49Oh, you're not?
04:51Well, then, uh, why don't you call your...
04:56your husband?
04:58I'm not married.
05:02Oh.
05:02They're a seem to be so helpless.
05:07Well, maybe I...
05:08I can help you.
05:09Wait a minute.
05:09I'll get my flashlight.
05:13I'm so glad my car broke down in front of the house of a big celebrity like you.
05:19Oh, you recognize me?
05:21I certainly do, Rock.
05:29I'm not Rock Hudson.
05:30Well, you could have fooled me.
05:35Really?
05:36Look!
05:39Anyway, all right.
05:40I'll help you in a minute.
05:41I'll just get this flashlight.
05:44And...
05:45The battery's dead.
05:48Hasn't been used in such a long time.
05:50I guess I got some other batteries in there.
05:52Hold this for me.
05:53Just a second, would you please?
05:57I thought I was dead.
05:58Well, you better hold it, huh?
06:11You come out and show me where that little old car is, huh?
06:16Hey?
06:21Now, here we are.
06:24Let's see.
06:25Now, you just hold that flashlight, and I'll have it fixed in a little old minute.
06:35Oh, I'm sure you will.
06:36Uh, let's get in there.
06:39Let's see.
06:42That's anything over there.
06:43I don't know too much about these things, but...
06:46Oh, for heaven's sakes.
06:48No wonder.
06:49These pipes are disconnected.
06:51I think this one should be sort of connected...
06:54Wait a minute, who are you, God?
07:13Shut up and get in the car.
07:17What?
07:17Get in the car.
07:18But, sweetie, I don't understand.
07:22You heard him.
07:26There was nothing wrong with your car at all.
07:28You lied to me.
07:29Yeah.
07:30And it wasn't easy calling you Rock Hudson.
07:36Come on, Benny.
07:37Get in the car.
07:38I don't want to get in the car.
07:39Quit the car.
07:44Okay, boys.
07:45Bring him down.
07:46Come on.
07:48Boy, I haven't been bitten, kicked, and scratched so much...
08:10...since we snatched that purse from that little old lady.
08:14Okay, take his blindfold off.
08:16Take the gag out of his mouth.
08:41Where am I?
08:42Where am I?
08:43Where are you?
08:44You're in the Wedgwood Room of the Waldorf Astoria.
08:47Sit down.
08:50Fellas, please don't...
08:51I'm a nice guy.
08:53I never harmed anybody in my life.
08:55Honest, I didn't.
08:56Really, don't hurt me.
08:58Please don't.
08:59I won't tell on you.
09:01I won't.
09:02Please.
09:03Please don't hurt me.
09:05Please.
09:05I thought we snatched a big comedian.
09:09Here we wind up with Betty Davis.
09:13Who are you people, anyway?
09:16Oh, you want to know who we are?
09:17Well, this is J. Edgar Hoover.
09:19He's Dick Tracy.
09:20And I'm Florence Nightingale.
09:24Well, well, Flo.
09:26Oh, shut up.
09:31Look, Florence.
09:34Why...
09:34Why did you take me out of my house in the middle of the night and bring me here?
09:39What do you want from me?
09:40I'll tell you what we want.
09:42First, give me your wallet.
09:44But look, I...
09:45Look, you heard her.
09:46Give her your wallet.
09:50Safely.
09:51What's in it?
09:59Nothing but a few cards and a used bus transfer.
10:02A used bus transfer?
10:04That ain't worth nothing.
10:05That's what you think.
10:07The driver of my bus doesn't see too well.
10:11What did you do that for?
10:13My mother drives a bus.
10:16Come on, where's your money?
10:18I haven't got any.
10:19Haven't got any?
10:20Listen, you're loaded.
10:21I haven't got any with me.
10:23Hey, this is Jack Benny.
10:25I rent where he keeps his money.
10:27Come on, Benny.
10:27Let's have your shoe.
10:30There's nothing in my shoe.
10:31Look.
10:32Look.
10:33It's empty.
10:34It's empty, see?
10:35See?
10:36That's just a gag that my writers write about me being cheap.
10:40That's all.
10:40Yeah, well, we'll see.
10:43Hey, wait a minute.
10:45What is it, Fingers?
10:47Yes, watch this.
10:50What's it, Fingers?
10:52Yeah.
10:53That's it.
10:53What's it?
10:54That's me.
10:55What is it?
10:55You don't know.
10:56I don't know.
10:57What is it?
10:57That's all.
10:58That's all.
10:59I don't know.
11:00Oh, my God.
11:02He's like, hey, baby.
11:03Oh, my God.
11:03You know, I don't know.
11:04You don't know.
11:05It's just a bit.
11:07Oh, my God.
11:09Oh, my God.
11:09Oh, no.
11:11Oh, my God.
11:12Oh, my God.
11:14Oh, my God.
11:15Oh, my God.
11:16Oh, my God.
11:17only 15 cents
11:28it's mad money
11:31i don't know what's going on here anyway i'll do anything do you want what do you want
11:38we want money to get out of this you're gonna have to give us ten thousand dollars
11:42ten thousand dollars either you get us ten thousand bucks or we'll break both your legs
11:50you heard him ten thousand bucks or we break both your legs
12:00does it have to be both
12:12this guy's a jerk maybe we ought to rub him out
12:20no no no don't don't rub me out i'll get you the money honest i will
12:24i got friends all i have to do is call them i'll get the money
12:27okay buster get on the phone
12:28there it is all right i'll call i'll call don wilson
12:34he'll give me some money all right now you tell him to get together ten thousand bucks
12:39and put it in a shoe box and put it under the bus bench on wilshire and la brea and one
12:45word out of line and i'm going to disconnect you and the phone at the same time so watch
12:50it i'll watch it i'll watch
12:52hello hello don don don this is jack at three o'clock in the morning never mind that listen
13:09john don i'm kidnapped i'm being held for ransom so you've got to get ten thousand dollars put it in the
13:16shoe box and leave it under the bus bench at wilshire and la brea
13:22jack that's ridiculous
13:24what look jack how can you compare a corny old-fashioned story like that with the
13:31brilliant idea i have for you to play a triple role
13:34but don that's not it i'm ken laugh oh jack it'll never work it's an unbelievable plot it just won't work
13:45well what'd he say
13:55he thinks your idea stinks
13:58okay call somebody else
14:05well this late at night can't i wait till tomorrow morning dial buster dial while you can still use your fingers
14:12all right i'll call dennis he'll help
14:15oh dennis dennis this is jack jack who
14:37jack benny now listen i've been kidnapped
14:44uh-huh
14:48now look you've got to get a hold of ten thousand dollars and put it in a shoe box
14:54uh-huh
14:58and put it on the bus bench at the corner of wilshire and la brea
15:04have you got that yeah yeah i got you okay
15:14believe it on the bus bench it's supposed to be under the bus bench
15:19all right i'll call him again
15:34hello oh dennis this is jack again jack who again
15:44jack benny oh mr benny hey what a strange coincidence you know i just had a crazy dream where you were kidnapped and you needed ten
15:54thousand dollars
15:58a dream
15:59a dream dennis hey i gotta go back to sleep and find out how it comes out goodbye
16:05dennis dennis dennis dennis he hung up that crazy kid went back to sleep
16:15that dennis day you was talking to yes well why don't we kidnap him and hold him
16:19for ransom his mother wouldn't give you a dime
16:26look benny we've fooled around long enough now we're gonna have to bump you off no no no please don't bump me
16:31off i promise you i'll get you the money look i'll go to the bank tomorrow morning you can go with me
16:46here's a pen and here's a withdrawal slip yeah i never made out one of these before
17:04well you're gonna make one out now for ten thousand bucks i'll go ahead
17:28some bank they don't trust anybody
17:30step up to that teller remember we got you covered one false move we'll let you have it
17:43oh hello mr benny how much are we putting in today i'm not putting anything in oh you're just
17:50visiting it again
17:55no i'm i'm taking some out
18:01you're taking some out yes uh i want to withdraw nine
18:11ten thousand dollars
18:18excuse me just a minute please
18:24mr harris
18:25there's a man over there who looks like jack benny
18:30that is jack benny well i thought so too but he wants to take out ten thousand dollars
18:36take out
18:48take out
18:49Take out.
18:59Take out.
19:04Out.
19:06Hey, George.
19:18How've you been?
19:19Fine.
19:20Fine.
19:21I'm good.
19:22Nice to see you.
19:23I got some...
19:24Wait a minute.
19:25Wait a minute, George.
19:26Come here.
19:27I need your help.
19:30I need your help.
19:33I need your help.
19:35I need your help.
19:37It's a bad tune.
19:39Doesn't compare with my last big song hit.
19:41I'll be waiting for you, Bill, when you come back from San Juan Hill.
19:43Leave me cold.
19:53I'm sorry for the delay, Mr. Benny.
19:55Here's your $10,000.
20:01George.
20:04Jack, if you want to keep on getting away with that 39-year bit, you better get rid of that
20:08nervous twitch.
20:10I need your help.
20:11I need your help.
20:12I need you.
20:13Doesn't got a chance.
20:14It's pathetic.
20:15Florence!
20:16Florence!
20:17Florence!
20:18Miss Nightingale!
20:19Why did you bring me back here?
20:20I gave you the money.
20:21Why didn't you turn me loose?
20:22I could've taken the bus home.
20:23I threw away your transfer.
20:24I don't care about that.
20:25Why don't you let me go?
20:26Let you go?
20:27You kidding?
20:28You've seen our faces.
20:29You know our voices.
20:30You'd go right to the cops and turn us in.
20:31Yeah, so we're gonna rub you out.
20:32No!
20:33No, don't rub me out.
20:34I'm too young to die.
20:35I've got too much to offer in the entertainment world.
20:37You know what?
20:38You know what?
20:39I'm so sorry.
20:40I'm so sorry.
20:41I'm so sorry.
20:42I'm so sorry.
20:43I'm so sorry.
20:44I'm so sorry.
20:45I'm so sorry.
20:46I'm so sorry.
20:47I'm so sorry.
20:48I'm so sorry.
20:49I'm so sorry.
20:50It's the entertainment world.
20:53You yourself said I was another Betty Davis.
21:00Go ahead, Melita.
21:03What's that?
21:04What's that?
21:05That's a fuse.
21:07When it burns down to the dynamite, we'll be halfway down to Tijuana.
21:12What about me?
21:14You'll be there ahead of us.
21:15He's going ahead of us.
21:21So long, Benny.
21:23That's Benny!
21:45Oh, thank heavens.
21:50How did you, how did you fellas know where I was?
21:52We followed you from the bank.
21:54Well, why, did you recognize the gangsters?
21:57No, but we figured any time Jack Benny comes into a bank and takes out $10,000, something's got to be wrong.
22:05Don't leave. It's true, and we got the whole gang.
22:07And here is your money back.
22:09My money?
22:11How do you like that?
22:13Just because my writers keep writing those cheap, stingy jokes about me, my life has been saved.
22:21Hey, is there a police car outside?
22:23Yes, why?
22:24Well, it's almost three o'clock.
22:26I want to get this money back to the bank before I lose a whole day's interest.
22:39Jack will be back in just a moment, but first...
22:43Oh, hello, Mr. Benny. May I help you?
22:49What's all this with the... the apples and the oranges and the pineapples and everything?
22:56Oh, well, you see, Mr. Benny, when you drew out $10,000, it caused a run on the bank, so we had to go into a new business.
23:13Well, all right. I'll take, uh, that grapefruit looks good. I'll take about three of those.
23:27Oh, it's lovely.
23:29April.
23:30And, uh, oh, these tomatoes are nice and big. Give me two of these.
23:35You know?
23:36Let's see what else I want.
23:39Oh, maybe a bunch of these grapes.
23:41Oh, they're beautiful.
23:42Yeah.
23:43All right.
23:44That'll be a little...
23:46No, wait a minute. I don't like these kind. Uh, take out the grapes.
23:51Take out.
23:53Out.
23:54Take out.
23:56Out.
23:57Yes, out.
23:59Yes, out.
24:06I'm a little short of cash, so just charge.
24:17Oh, good night, folks. I'll be seeing you soon.
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