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00:00she is a person who i cut off along with my ex-husband while we were still married
00:05so she was spreading all kinds of rumors saying that she was having an affair with chris
00:11years ago is she so what yes yes
00:17virtual reality all right monique samuels from the real housewives of potomac it is such a joy to
00:24welcome you to our studio it's such a joy to have you back on bravo thank you oh my god i'm so happy
00:29to be back so beautiful you look so radiant and the show is so much better and brighter because
00:33you're back on it oh thank you and like honestly like you are such a light on the show like i just
00:38love seeing you in this element of yours like you just seem so happy wow and yourself does it feel
00:42that way yeah i mean it's it's it's amazing coming back into it because so many people have said that
00:49that i'm like what was i like before do you know what you were amazing before but there is a vibe
00:54shift it's like you're the same person but it's like a weight is lifted off your shoulders 300 pounds
00:59yes okay so do you feel do you feel like you are a different person without chris samuels as your
01:05husband absolutely absolutely going through this whole healing journey after divorce divorce changes
01:09you already yeah right but then add in reality tv and people you know having their open judgments and
01:16they're i went hermit mode i went in i lost friends i lost family but it was okay that's what divorce
01:23does it helps you to shed and once i accepted the shedding life got so much better for me and i was
01:29able to really like work on myself and start to do some shadow work and do that inner healing and it
01:35i mean everybody says the same thing so i'm like okay it must have worked because i'm like but i feel
01:41really good and i do i also think it was so interesting i think it was a few episodes ago you
01:45were kind of almost making a joke about it but you're like i stayed in my marriage because i was fighting
01:49with you all so much to let out my aggression and then you're kind of like oh with the show having
01:54the moment not being on the show did it give you time to reflect a bit oh this is actually not my life
01:58is not how i want to be living it yeah it was almost like and i told them the first time that i thought
02:04like oh i don't know if this is working anymore my daughter was six months old guess what i started
02:08filming housewives when she was eight months old it almost like put all of our issues on pause i see and
02:14then once i left the show some time went by i did another show right more time went by and it was
02:20just like oh my god the same issues from all those years ago are still here nothing changed really
02:26interesting is when you were very candid with the girls talking about it was essentially a sex test
02:31that you did with chris to see how he really felt about you i i thought it was a very vulnerable
02:36moment for you and i applaud you for sharing that information thank you did you hear from chris about
02:40that have you heard from chris at all about what he has seen so far on housewives is he paying
02:45attention is he keeping tabs oh you better believe he's paying attention and keeping tabs but the thing
02:49about chris and i we are not in a good space like we're the the co-parenting is a nightmare um he he won't
02:56ever come to me about anything that he sees he goes through people and he has them do their bidding for him
03:01so i'll get messages back i'll get it's very sneaky it's very shady it's very him it's on brand for him
03:08and unfortunately because i had maintained such a good front and image back then it's unbelievable
03:15for most people you know so like even with the last episode where they're like calling him he said i
03:21don't know most people are looking like oh he's not trying to be in women's business he doesn't even
03:25know about it he knows about it because cookie's the mouthpiece so she's doing his bidding and you
03:32saw even in earlier scenes oh he's texting me oh why is he talking to her because he knows she's going
03:36to run her mouth right and do his bidding and then he can play innocent say i don't know what
03:41y'all talking about i've seen this a thousand so what was your interpretation of his response on the
03:46phone call with sharice because it seemed like everyone was like oh he shut it down like he he
03:52there was he that didn't happen do you think there was weird communication between chris and stacy
03:58and cookie like what do you think now with reflection and probably after gathering more information
04:03well there was definitely communication with stacy because she showed it to me yeah she literally said
04:07that he should she she showed me a message from like way before i even signed my contract where he
04:12was texting her asking hey i heard my name's being talked about on the show so they were already
04:17communicating so why would they not communicate later on if they were it was so one-sided because
04:22she made it seem like it was one-sided because ashley did pose the question of well she could
04:26have gone in and deleted messages right maybe they're fraudulent receipts do you think that they
04:31were real receipts like how do you do you think it was the communication was was real okay and it
04:35was interesting because i wasn't at the previous events for giselle's you know her 10 million download
04:42party so when she when i'm watching it in real time she said she didn't have his number and that's
04:48why sharice called him so now here i am in my presence of watching everything unfold and then the
04:54next scene is us you know sitting down having dinner together and then she pulls her phone out and says
04:59this is when he you know we know each other socially and here's what he's been sending to me
05:04and all the text messages you know scrolling and i'm like back then it didn't it was just like okay
05:09whatever y'all are talking but watching it i'm like wait so you lied because you said you didn't have his
05:14number but then you showed me that he was texting you and y'all had been communicating even before i came
05:18around it was just weird it's like why are we lying it almost feels like there's a lot of people maybe
05:24dancing around the truth because i when wendy uh was saying that she has like the culprits or the
05:28suspects or whoever we could be i kind of was like why do i feel it's everybody right i know
05:34there's so many players in the situation also they might even be accidentally doing it because like
05:38if like say like giselle's talking to sharice right and k is talking to cookie and if they're both
05:43running back to chris because i was kind of like why is sharice so comfortable calling chris immediately
05:48like i was sort of like i'm like in what world or would you just be like ring and him to answer
05:53right and then she said i'm filming and you proceeded to continue to talk so anybody's stupid you know so
05:59it's like a lot's been going on and i'm just like look i just came back to show where i am and i'm in
06:06peace and here's my book and here's my oils yeah it's like what is oliver's business do you know what
06:13i do love though is how much grace you immediately extended to stacy regardless of what
06:17the situation was regarding chris you greeted her with a hug when you guys met up for dinner
06:22you were so kind to her i just feel like most housewives wouldn't move like that what was behind
06:28you choosing kindness for stacy who allegedly dated your ex-husband because a lot of the girls
06:34aren't being so kind to her right but like i look at it like this say for instance they are dating
06:39and say for instance they're getting closer why would i not want to have a good relationship with
06:44her yeah this is a person that can potentially be around my children
06:47you are so evolved monique like it is crazy but yeah but that's how i looked at it and i'm just
06:53like if this is a thing that's happening you know and it becomes serious then i don't want to butt heads
06:59with her like anybody knows when women can get along that's when the kids are happiest right so my my
07:05everything that i do is always going to go back to my children and making them happy you know so that
07:10comes first and foremost and i i don't have any qualms with her if whatever who she's dating i
07:16don't care who he's dating how how do you feel because with that because a lot of people do feel
07:21like this season it's all the ladies just finding a reason for stacy to annoy them and then just going
07:26at her did it feel like that while you guys were in it um when by the time i came along it didn't feel
07:31like that because apparently when i talked to her in that moment i shut down whatever was continuing
07:37to keep like issues and far as far as i know with stacy in her direction but i feel like a lot of heat
07:44is on stacy because stacy don't care she really doesn't care it's magical she's great tv
07:53i enjoy watching her she's funny she's beautiful and it's just funny to watch how she they make these
07:59big deals and they come at her with from little stuff to major stuff and she's just like okay
08:05all right so or just like pointing yeah when she pointed her finger and kept pointing her finger
08:10that was crazy she's really loved to see that because she was pointing a cookie right she was
08:15you really don't you don't like cookie we don't it's not that i don't like her i don't trust her
08:21and she is a person who i cut off along with my ex-husband while we were still married
08:27so she was spreading all kinds of rumors saying that she was having an affair with chris
08:32years ago is she so great yes yes yes and she she told him the cookie jar wait she made that up there
08:41there was no truth to it so she was telling people that she was having an affair with with my ex-husband
08:47who was my husband at the time and she said the only reason he was staying is because of the kids
08:52she would tell people these things and then we found out me and him called her put her on speaker
08:58phone and we said listen we're not fooling with you we done just we just had a crazy situation with
09:03a former friend and the people who have told us this are credible people we don't know why you're
09:07saying this but we're done so to my surprise i come around and they're like yeah chris and cookie
09:13i'm like wait what is happening why is he talking to you that he still messes with her yes i was
09:19completely caught off guard and i did not know i didn't understand how this connection happened again
09:26and then everybody's well like why is chris calling cookie what i don't know do all the ladies know that
09:31that she's did that i told most of them because it's kind of confusing how they would still then hold
09:36cookie as this like truth teller they didn't know until after yeah so they didn't know until after
09:41because they were asking me like well what's your issue with cookie y'all used to be cool
09:46and i was like okay well i'll tell you what the issue is and i'm so confused as to why
09:51he is cool with all the people that i literally parted ways with years ago while we were still
09:57in a marriage who did things to both of us right you know so it was just very interesting for me and
10:02i'm coming in blind with all of this so when they were asking about you know cookie i was like i don't
10:07trust her because she lies yeah and i don't trust him because he lies and apparently stacy lies too
10:12so where's the truth what i found very interesting is at the end of the scene where you guys all got
10:19together where you were talking to stacy about the situation with chris you said like you guys don't
10:23know the half of it you don't know what i really went through can you is there anything you can clarify
10:27about your time with chris and what people may not know or understand about how bad things were yes and
10:34i go into very full detail in my book okay all right so let's talk about it love letters from
10:40versions of myself first of all i love the cover it's beautiful thank you so we open up about what
10:44we went through in our marriage in this book yes i do i open up what i went through and most importantly
10:49if you ever read any books on alchemy they give you the whole process when it comes to your
10:53awakening your spiritual awakening when you have that aha moment and what typically happens after so in my book
10:59i give you every stage of that but i also give you an example the example is me so i'll give you
11:06different things that i went through whether it was during my childhood or during my marriage or post
11:10marriage you know so i give you all of the steps that i actually went through when it comes to
11:15transformation when you really start to go inward and you discover who you are you face your shadows
11:20and the hardest part is when you start losing people that you thought were there for you but then you
11:25realize that they were never there for you they were there to get benefits from you or to use you
11:31and sometimes you can be sleeping with your own damn enemy you know so and it's a real thing but i also
11:36show gratitude if it wasn't for my marriage i would have never had this awakening moment i would have never
11:42set boundaries i would have never found myself and really started to look at what i deserve i'm like
11:48i'm a good person i have some issues just like everybody else but overall i really do think that i
11:54deserve to be loved properly yeah you know were there parts of you that resisted doing that work
11:59to go in the deep because it's very scary and it kind of like pulls the rug out from under you you
12:03know what i mean like how what was the process like for you before saying okay i need to do this work
12:08to become my better self yeah it was scary because i knew after i started doing the work i knew that my
12:12relationship would dwindle because you can go through a spiritual journey with a person with your person
12:18with your partner with your spouse whomever but you don't have to be growing at the same rate but
12:25you both have to be growing and you both have to want to do the inner work and once i started seeing
12:30that that wasn't an option for my then husband i was like okay i'm still going to take this journey and
12:36i just i'm gonna just hope for the best and sometimes when we ask god to start removing what
12:41doesn't serve us sometimes that's the very people that we put into high positions whether it's spouse
12:46parents you know so that's what i went through and i don't regret it because i have a sense of
12:51peace that i've never experienced in my entire life it seems like it so you started doing the work
12:56during your marriage was chris encouraging of it or supportive of it at first or was he like
13:02please because i don't i don't know how he felt about you sort of going on this
13:06enlightenment journey was he intimidated by it was he scared it was a lot of pushback it was very like
13:12you know like oh good for you at first but once it started to affect him the boundary started to
13:17affect him then it was like wait what are you doing you know i remember the very first trip i took
13:22a solo trip for my birthday and i went to arizona and i went to a meditative resort and i said i'm
13:28going by myself it was my first trip by myself since being married and having children and i said i really
13:34need this trip because i need to not have everybody else's voices all around me i really just need to
13:40connect with myself and with god and as i was leaving for the trip i felt so good because i was
13:46like i'm doing this for me i made sure that the kids were set the nanny was there everybody was in
13:51place food was where it needs to be everybody's good and as i was walking out the door i had my car
13:56service there as i was walking out the door i said do not call me unless the house is burning down and
14:02even if the house is burning down call 9-1-1 yeah i said i need a complete break and the look he gave me
14:08was like he was so upset that i was so happy about doing this trip for myself and i remember getting
14:15into the car and i remember thinking to myself i am going to have a great trip regardless of what
14:21he has to feel about it because old me even then would have felt down that he was down or upset that
14:29i was leaving and it would have ruined my whole trip it would have put me in a mindset where i
14:33wouldn't have been able to enjoy myself yeah and i said forget that i left and it was amazing for me
14:38it's the it's the place where and i talk about it in my book as well it's the place where i learned
14:43boundaries and when i came back uh it was yeah transformative did he call you during the trip
14:49so i would i would check in on facetime during certain times of the day and then because i was
14:54actually no phone like at this resort yeah you turn your phones off and so i would check in in the
14:59morning make sure everybody's good and then i would turn my phone off and put it in their little
15:03like they have these little lock box and i would be without my phone no social media i was completely
15:07disconnected for five days wow yeah that is amazing i love that and i guess like that is the type of
15:13resort and the piece i now i get why you and giselle made up so quickly right well it seemed quickly on the
15:19episode but we sat down for a long time okay yeah and i think that we both were in two totally
15:25different places in life um we both actually experienced loss you know divorce is a loss she
15:32lost her father it puts you in a different space when you're mourning something you know and and you
15:37are able to kind of see past what really doesn't matter and you it's like i'm not that person anymore
15:42so let's just move forward after we hash it out not letting you off the hook we're gonna talk about it
15:49as the same for her with me and then let's start let's have a reset i feel it really is a good reset
15:54because even though of course she loves to be reasonably shady the way she talks about you in
15:58scenes you're not in i've been loving this season because she's very like i love how open monique
16:02is being i love having her back and everything like that it seems like you guys really are moving
16:06to a beautiful place i hope so yeah does it feel that way it does it feels very genuine it does
16:13and i'm grateful for it because sometimes when you leave in a certain position especially
16:18the beef that her and i had you know like that whole viral moment with the binder and everything else
16:22it's like you cannot even it it can't go away you know and i'm so glad it hasn't because every time
16:27it comes up in my algorithm it's so good oh my god but i'm glad you guys are in a better place
16:32it's crazy because i when i see it i cringe really i do oh i scream i laugh i hoot and holler i show
16:38my husband i say we got to watch this one more time it was so good and i mean before we let you go
16:43of course there's so much going on in potomac with wendy right now are you kind of a shoulder to lean on
16:48for her are you giving her her space because when we caught up with stacy she said that she's kind
16:52of encouraging her a lot and being there for her but i'm kind of curious where you are falling with
16:55yeah i talked to wendy wendy and i got together with the kids and i'm all all here for wendy and
17:01for her husband and her whole family they're a beautiful family and people go through things
17:05and sometimes it's it's very unfortunate when you're on this platform and everything gets put out
17:10there and you don't hear from the actual party you don't hear their side you just hear all of the
17:15negativity and we honestly don't know what happened and that's their business it's their
17:21fight and i don't want to judge them on something that i don't have all the details
17:25to and even if i did what does it concern of me you know so i would love for people to just kind
17:30of like give them some space while they navigate this and i know because there are reality tv stars
17:36they will share when they're ready to share you know you're cool with wendy i'm curious if you're
17:41currently cool with k kiarna how do you feel about kiarna yeah i love kiarna okay
17:47we're big fans we love her okay we are big fans the only reason i bring that up is because i don't
17:53know if you saw but chanel ayan from the real housewives of dubai yeah she was doing interviews
17:57on the carpet for bravo con and she was recently asked on cynthia and crystal's podcast who was the
18:02rudest bravo liberty at bravo con and she mentioned kiarna she said she was rude and she was like oh she
18:07thinks she's beyonce i just would love to know your reaction to chanel ayan calling her rude
18:12and saying she thinks she's beyonce i think that was a complete misjudgment because k is so sweet
18:17but k owns a med spa and i feel like she might have had some you know some little injections that
18:22had her face just snatched the face card at bravo con was actually insane she was so good maybe she
18:31just couldn't smile there you go because i was with k the whole time me and her did certain um
18:39we did certain events together yeah and we sat next to each other on the potomac panel k is cool
18:44as a fan she really is i know it's funny because chanel said her and katie janella were the two
18:48meanest people and i was like those are the two sweetest we love katie janelle did you meet katie
18:52janella from orange county she's lovely my thing is this if you're always expecting people to kiss your
18:58ass you're going to think anybody that doesn't kiss your ass is a bad person so maybe it's the
19:02expectation from the person that was there and not necessarily k because k is cool like she's so
19:09sweet so cool and such a lovely time she is she is but i feel like between the look the face was
19:15snatched so maybe she just didn't have it in her to crack a smile for you she was being advertising for
19:20her pretty next year this is k i don't have to smile at you i'm just going to give you looks
19:27and before before we let you go when is the book available it's available for pre-order december
19:327th on monique samuels.com yes and then it's going to officially be released on january 4th oh my god
19:38okay new year new book it's whatever it's going to be this is like the perfect new year's resolution
19:43energy book and you know what i love too this is something i added towards the end because i didn't
19:48want people to just read the book and have nothing to do or know how to do their process
19:53at the end of each chapter i have what's called heart work instead of homework so i actually give
19:58you different prompts that you can ask yourself different questions and it really provokes some
20:02deep thought so that you can start taking the journey as well so while you're reading the book
20:06you're also on the journey so it's very interactive so yes i really i know it's going to change lives i
20:12know it's going to push people into a space where they're demanding the respect that they deserve
20:16and they're loving themselves and there's nothing wrong with that oh oh my god yes and it's also
20:21relationship too because if you work on yourself you're going to attract somebody that's vibrant
20:25at the same frequency that's a brain dating okay my mr right is just going to show up yes knocking on
20:31the door yes oh my god but thank you for writing that book and thank you for stopping by monique we
20:35love you thank you i love y'all too it's so good seeing y'all again
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