- 2 weeks ago
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00:00Do-do-do-do-do
00:30Do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:32Do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:34Oh, hello. Is there Parkers?
00:47Look, I'm going fishing this weekend and I shall need some more bait.
00:50No, only on the Thames. The maggots will do.
00:53I'll send something around to collect them.
00:54Oh, by the way, those trout flies I bought from you have been very successful.
00:58Especially the cocky bondu. Seems to attract the trout like a magnet.
01:04Yes, well, thank you again. Bye.
01:12Excuse me.
01:13You startled me. Do you mind knocking before you barge in?
01:18I'm sorry.
01:18Is that better?
01:24I've lost it.
01:25You've lost what?
01:26I have lost my favourite fly. I had it in my hand a moment ago. I must have dropped it. Can you see it anywhere?
01:31What does it look like?
01:32Well, it's about two inches long, red and black, and it's got a curly tail.
01:35That's...
01:36It's perhaps it's flown out the window.
01:39It is a fishing fly. A cocky bondu.
01:42A cocky what?
01:43Bondu.
01:44Oh.
01:45It must be here somewhere.
01:46Oh, well, if it's here, we'll find it.
01:49Oh, well, perhaps I should come back later.
01:50Oh, Mr Brown, you can join in.
01:53Well, I'm not really that religious, actually.
01:57We are looking for a fly.
01:59A fly?
02:00Oh, yes. It's two inches long, brown, red and black, and got a curly tail.
02:05Sounds quite lethal.
02:06Would you mind helping us look for it?
02:08No, not at all.
02:09Oh, I found it.
02:10Where?
02:10It's here, just under the desk.
02:12Oh, I'll get it.
02:12No, stand back, Sid. You'll leave this to me.
02:15What are you doing, Mr Brown?
02:16I'll tell you where you are, Miss Courtney. This will be dangerous.
02:18Hang on, that's nice. Not moving.
02:20Mr Brown.
02:21Oh, just a minute.
02:23Better to be safe than sorry.
02:28Oh, I've just remembered. I've been inspected the boilers.
02:34Have you quite finished, Mr Brown, or would you like to borrow a hammer?
02:38You can't be too careful where strange insects are concerned.
02:40Have you any idea where it came from?
02:42Yes, W Parker and Son.
02:43Oh, pardon?
02:45Fishing tackle suppliers.
02:46Oh, fish...
02:48It wasn't...
02:49It was.
02:50Oh, dear.
02:51Got any glue?
02:52I don't think child is very fond of glue.
02:54No, I suppose not.
02:55I'll buy you another.
02:56Oh, I see that you do.
02:58Excuse me.
03:01Hello?
03:02Speaking.
03:03Pardon?
03:04Is it you?
03:05Is it you?
03:07Is it really you?
03:09It is you.
03:11It's him.
03:15Coming here?
03:17Oh, you're not coming here.
03:19You are coming here.
03:21He's coming here.
03:24He's coming here.
03:25You'll be here in half an hour.
03:28He'll be here in half an hour.
03:30I know.
03:31You're not going to be here.
03:32Oh, until then.
03:36Oh.
03:37You feeling all right?
03:39That was him.
03:40Yes, he's coming here in half an hour.
03:41But who is him?
03:42I mean, who is he?
03:42Well, it is him, Anne.
03:43I never thought I'd see her again.
03:45My ex-fiancé.
03:47You mean you were actually engaged at one time?
03:49Well, there's no need to sound so surprised.
03:50He was over 25 years ago.
03:57I mean, I was just...
03:59Well, I was very young.
04:02I met him at Oxford.
04:03In the high.
04:05When it was raining, he offered me shelter under his umbrella.
04:07And he insisted on buying me a cup of tea and a sticky bun.
04:10How romantic.
04:11Yes, it's...
04:12Well, that was how it all started.
04:14Why didn't you get married?
04:15Oh, it was awful.
04:16He left me.
04:16At the church?
04:17In a lurch.
04:18Oh, Mr. Brown, I have never told anyone this before.
04:22Oh, well, if you'd rather not.
04:23No, sit down.
04:24Well?
04:25For years I have kept this terrible secret to myself.
04:29Now, he is coming back into my life again,
04:30and I feel I must tell someone.
04:32And I think I can trust you, Mr. Brown.
04:34Well, I'd rather not if it's going to cause any embarrassment.
04:36Oh, it won't embarrass me.
04:37Yeah, but it might embarrass me.
04:38No, I'm sure it won't.
04:39Well, anyway, he asked me to go down to Brighton with him
04:42for one of those, you know, weekends.
04:44Oh, double room, Mr. and Mrs. Smith.
04:46Exactly.
04:47And you refused?
04:48Oh, no, I won't.
04:51I even remember the hotel.
04:54The Bella Vista opposite the abattoir.
04:56Very Bella Vista.
04:58Well, we booked in,
04:59and Albert, being the thoughtful man he was,
05:02he let me go upstairs first to prepare myself, as it were,
05:06whilst he had a drink in the bar.
05:08Getting up a bit of Dutch courage, eh?
05:10I beg your pardon?
05:11Oh, you need to be such a lovely person waiting to be, um...
05:15Well, what happened then?
05:16He didn't turn up.
05:18He got drunk, passed out,
05:20and spent the night on a settee in the residence lounge.
05:23How despicable!
05:24Well, I went home, and I refused ever to see him again.
05:27I heard later that he was working in the Far East.
05:31But I must admit,
05:33I have always cherished a secret hope
05:35that he might one day come back.
05:38Excuse me, please.
05:39Yes, Ali, what is it?
05:40Please come quickly.
05:41We are having plenty of trouble in the classroom.
05:44What do you mean, trouble?
05:45Maxie and Giovanni,
05:46they are murdering each other.
05:48Come on, Dave.
05:49I'm ready when you are.
05:50And I'm a lady when you are.
05:51Come on, Dave.
05:54Well, you come on, Dave.
05:56Okay.
05:57Oh, sure, lad.
05:59You're going to be sorry.
06:01We're seals are going to be sorry.
06:02Okay.
06:03Come on, then.
06:04I'm waiting for you to come on.
06:05And I'm waiting for you to come on.
06:06Come on, stop this brawling.
06:08Oh, so lucky for you, Professor.
06:09Stop me from giving you a black eye.
06:12I will not have fighting in the class.
06:15Fighting?
06:16It was more like dancing.
06:18I was just warming up.
06:20Yeah, me too.
06:21Yeah, well, what is all this about?
06:22I tell you, Professor.
06:23He's a-call me a wop.
06:26And he's calling me a greaseball.
06:29I've never told everybody sitting down.
06:31I wish you could pick up proper English
06:32as quickly as you pick up slang.
06:34I have enough trouble with Ali and Ranjeet.
06:35Now, don't you two start falling out.
06:37Now, shake hands.
06:37Come on.
06:39Right, now, tonight,
06:40I want to concentrate on English conversation,
06:42the sort of things that you have to say
06:43during the course of every day, all right?
06:44For example, Ranjeet,
06:46where would you take a check?
06:47The check of Slovakia.
06:55Not that sort of check.
06:57A check for a certain amount of money.
06:59Where would you take it?
07:00To a bank.
07:02Right.
07:02Juan.
07:03Yes, senor.
07:04If you felt ill, what would you do?
07:05Go to bed.
07:08But before that?
07:09Take the clothes off.
07:11You could go to the doctor's.
07:13No, no, doctor.
07:15Doctor killed my uncle in Madrid.
07:18Who?
07:19Gee.
07:19My uncle, he has pain in the chest.
07:22He go see doctor.
07:23Doctor, he listen and say,
07:26so I.
07:27Ten minutes later in the street,
07:29my uncle,
07:30finito.
07:32What, a heart attack?
07:33Motocard.
07:34Well, you can hardly blame the doctor for that.
07:40Gee.
07:40The doctor,
07:41he was driving them all.
07:46Behold,
07:47Tarot.
07:48Ah, so.
07:49Although weights are now metric in this country,
07:51we still use an old system,
07:53which is known as what?
07:54Saria.
07:55Not Noah.
07:56Does anybody know?
07:57No, no.
07:59Avoir du poids.
08:00Excellent.
08:01Merci.
08:02Does Avoir du poids ring a bell now, Tarot?
08:04Yes, sir.
08:05Avoir du poids is French for
08:07have you some
08:08piso?
08:12Come on, Tarot.
08:13I don't believe you're that stupid.
08:15Sorry.
08:16Just a
08:16joke.
08:21Come on.
08:22Future, kindly leave your jokes at home.
08:25Right, Zoltan, I'm going to ask you a question.
08:27Yes, please.
08:27Which shop?
08:28Yes, shop, shop.
08:29Which shop would you go to
08:31to buy a packet of cigarettes?
08:33Cigarettes?
08:34Uh, no shop.
08:36Come on, Zoltan,
08:36you must go to some sort of shop.
08:38Zoltan, no smoke.
08:42Where you go, Zoltan,
08:44where you go for chewing gum?
08:47Ah.
08:50Sweet shop.
08:50Sweet shop.
08:50Sweet, sweet.
08:53Anna tells me sweet.
08:55No, sweet, sweet.
08:57Sweet or sweet,
08:58what's the difference?
08:59Well, the difference is, Anna,
09:00that you must learn to say
09:01were and not the.
09:02Were.
09:04The were.
09:05Really go again.
09:06Try again.
09:07The were?
09:08Try saying
09:09vo-er without the ver.
09:11A were.
09:12A were.
09:13Almost.
09:14Try again, but this time
09:15don't say a were,
09:16just were.
09:18Were.
09:18Were.
09:19Wonderful.
09:20Wonderful.
09:21Uh, Wednesday.
09:22Wednesday.
09:23A wet weekend in winter.
09:24Wet weekend in winter.
09:26Very good.
09:27Very good.
09:31Anna.
09:32Yes, please.
09:33Do you have a headache?
09:34Oh, no, sir.
09:36Assume you have a headache,
09:38where would you go
09:38to get some aspirin?
09:39Ah,
09:40tandoori takeaway.
09:42No,
09:43Anna.
09:43Yes, please.
09:44My jolly good friend
09:45who is working there
09:46always had plenty aspirin.
09:48I meant to buy
09:49some aspirin.
09:50Why should I be
09:51buying them?
09:52When I can be
09:53getting them
09:53from my friend
09:54nothing at all.
09:56All right.
09:57Where do you go
09:57for aspirin
09:58when the tandoori
09:59takeaway is closed?
10:00Oh, blimey.
10:01Taj Mahal Curry House.
10:03Camilla,
10:05would you please tell
10:06Ali where you go
10:07to get aspirin?
10:08Oh, by chemist.
10:11Where are you going now?
10:13To buy some aspirin
10:14for headache.
10:15I thought you said
10:15you haven't got a headache.
10:16Oh, blimey,
10:17I got one now.
10:18Oh, come on, sir.
10:20Excuse me, Mr Brown,
10:21the old dragon wants you.
10:22Please, Sid,
10:23do be a bit more respectful,
10:24especially in front of the students.
10:25It's up to us
10:26to set a good example.
10:27I'm sorry.
10:27No, what does the old dragon,
10:28Miss Courtney want you?
10:29I've no idea,
10:31but I don't think
10:31she's very well.
10:32She actually smiled at me.
10:36Today my prince will come
10:39watching the twilight.
10:43Anton!
10:44Are you feeling all right?
10:46Yes, why?
10:47It sounded as if you were in pain.
10:48I was singing.
10:50I am sorry to bring you away
10:52from your class, Mr Brown,
10:53but before you leave this evening,
10:54would you mind checking
10:55that Sid's locked up properly?
10:57Absolutely.
10:57So he should be.
10:59I was referring to the building.
11:03You see,
11:04it is quite likely
11:04that I may be leaving early.
11:07Oh, to think he's come back
11:08in my life after 25 years.
11:11I think I need another sherry
11:12to settle my stomach.
11:15What's the matter?
11:16He's here.
11:17Look.
11:21Where?
11:22Down there.
11:23Oh!
11:24Oh!
11:25You stupid fool,
11:27you have crowned my Albert.
11:29I feel terrible.
11:47I've got a splitting headache.
11:49Oh, look, I am sorry.
11:50It was an accident.
11:50Look, this is Miss Courtney's office.
11:52You can...
11:52Oh, wait a minute.
11:53Look, have you got somewhere
11:54where I could comb my hair
11:55and brush myself down?
11:57I must look presentable
11:58for our first meeting
11:59after 25 years.
12:01Yes, of course, sir.
12:02Straight down there on the right.
12:03Oh, thank you.
12:07Enter!
12:07Hello, darling.
12:18It's you.
12:19Oh, where's Albert?
12:20You haven't pushed him
12:21down the stairs, have you?
12:22No, no, no.
12:23He's just gone to comb his hair.
12:24Well, is he all right?
12:25There's no damage, I hope.
12:26I'm afraid there is, actually.
12:28Oh, dear.
12:28Is it bad?
12:29Well, the plant pot's broken.
12:30I was referring to Albert.
12:34Oh, Albert.
12:34No, no, no.
12:35He's fine.
12:36I'll get it.
12:38Darling!
12:38Oh, it's you.
12:40Yes, this is darling.
12:42Miss Courtney.
12:44Albert!
12:45Dolores!
12:46Dolores!
12:50Haven't you a class to attend to?
12:52Yes, of course, darling.
12:53Dolores.
12:55Excuse me.
13:00It must have dropped to 2p.
13:06It must have rolled away somewhere.
13:14I'm glad to see you're all working hard.
13:16What are you studying, Ingrid?
13:19How to improve your bust line.
13:21Very educational.
13:22You can borrow it if you wish to.
13:24No, thank you.
13:25What's keeping you occupied, Juan?
13:28Girls galore.
13:29Well, I'm sure there's not much English in that.
13:31No, but some pretty pictures.
13:33Yes.
13:35Sontan?
13:37Gorgeous chicks.
13:38Well, I'm sure that's not about poultry farming.
13:41Bochama.
13:41Never mind.
13:43Anna?
13:43True romances.
13:46Max?
13:46Football review.
13:48Danielle?
13:49Toujours l'amour.
13:50Don't the French ever think about anything else other than love?
13:52To the French, there is nothing else.
13:57Giovanni?
13:57L'amouré.
13:58In Italy, we're just like the French.
14:02Ramjeet, cartoon capers.
14:04I am reading all about Bugs the Bunny and Woody the Pecker.
14:09Annie, the world's most exotic dishes.
14:13I didn't know you were interested in cookery.
14:14Oh, blimey.
14:15When I am buying it, I did not know it was about cookery.
14:18Jamila, knitting made easy.
14:25Tarot, the confessions of a geisha girl.
14:28Yes, well, you might all learn English much more quickly if you began by reading a better class of literature.
14:35And as you're all obviously so keen to learn English, I'll give you some extra homework tonight.
14:39Why, uh, look, it's time you took these lessons seriously.
14:42So, before we break for tea, I'm going to ask you each a question, and anyone who gives an incorrect answer will be fined 10p.
14:49Oh, the money will go to charity.
14:52Hey, who's this bird charity you give our money for?
14:56Oh, Giovanni, charity is not a bird.
14:59It means, uh, uh, it means an organization, a deserving cause.
15:04Right.
15:04One.
15:05Yes, sir.
15:05Spell quiet.
15:07Por favor.
15:08Quiet.
15:09Ah, quiet.
15:11Pfft.
15:12No, spell quiet.
15:14Ah, eh.
15:16How much we pay if we are wrong?
15:1710p.
15:18Yes.
15:22Right, Ingrid, give me an example of a preposition.
15:26Um, will you to dinner take me?
15:29I said a preposition, not a proposition.
15:30A preposition shows the relation between a noun or pronoun and some other word.
15:36A gift from Mary, a house for sale.
15:39A date with teacher?
15:40Yes, all right, I'll accept.
15:42Oh, good, you're not forgot.
15:44No, I mean, I will accept your relation.
15:46Now, Ranjit, how do you pronounce the following?
15:49B-O-U-G-H, C-O-U-G-H, and T-O-U-G-H.
15:52You are trying to be catching me out.
15:54And B-O-U-G-H.
15:56Buff.
15:57T-O-U-G-H.
15:59Toff.
16:00C-O-U-G-H.
16:02Co.
16:04Three out of three wrong.
16:06Thousand apologies.
16:09All right, Giovanni, what is meant by vice versa?
16:12On second thoughts, I won't ask you that.
16:15What is a diphthong?
16:17Is it like a dipstick?
16:20What do you think?
16:22I think I owe you 10p.
16:26Allie, what does the term coup de grace mean?
16:28And don't you dare say cutting the lawn?
16:29I'm never hearing of it.
16:32It means the final stroke.
16:34It's French.
16:35Oh, blimey.
16:36I'm having enough worries learning the English.
16:40It's in fairly common usage.
16:4210p, please.
16:45Tarot.
16:47Tarot.
16:47Ah, so.
16:50Decline the verb to jump.
16:52I jump up.
16:54You jump up.
16:56He jumps up.
16:58She jumps up.
16:59We jump up.
17:00They jump up.
17:02Very good, Tarot.
17:03But you must try not to end every word in O.
17:05Okay?
17:06OK.
17:07As oil is to water, so chalk is to?
17:13Plucky board.
17:15Cheese.
17:1610p, please.
17:17I am not understand.
17:18Well, it's a phrase.
17:19It's in common usage.
17:20They are as alike as chalk and cheese.
17:23But, Master G, chalk and cheese are not be alike.
17:26Exactly, sir.
17:27It means they're not alike.
17:28Hi, Ingridsy.
17:30I am think it is easier to say they are not be alike than to be talking about chalkies and
17:35cheesies.
17:36Yes, well, I admit we do tend to complicate our language.
17:38Max, er, give me an example of a principal clause.
17:44Santa clause.
17:46My nerds.
17:47Right, just for that, Max, you can write out 20 times a clause is a sentence which is part
17:51of a longer sentence.
17:53Hockey?
17:54Yeah, but not now.
17:55In your own time.
17:55And you can give me 10p.
18:01Tanya, as handsome as a prince, as ugly as...
18:06As sweet.
18:08As ugly as sin.
18:1110p.
18:12It was worth it.
18:16Anna, can you give me two different meanings of the word blow?
18:20Yeah.
18:21You can blow like so.
18:23Or you can give somebody a blow.
18:30Thank you, Anna.
18:32Right, Zoltan.
18:33Yes, please.
18:34Can you give me the past tense of the verb to see?
18:37Eh...
18:38Boccianot.
18:43See, saw.
18:44Ah!
18:45See, saw, see, saw.
18:47No, no, no, no, Zoltan.
18:48Yeah.
18:48Today I see.
18:50Yesterday I saw.
18:51No, well, it's not really fair to take one from you.
18:55Boccianot.
18:56Oh, I don't know, though.
18:58Wait, 80p in three minutes.
19:00At this rate, we'll soon have a small fortune.
19:02Another cup of tea, Albert?
19:04No, thank you.
19:06A Dolores?
19:08A glass of sherry, perhaps?
19:09Oh, no, I don't drink now.
19:11I've given it up.
19:12It's a very bad habit.
19:14Oh, you're so right.
19:15I only keep it for visitors.
19:22Oh, dear.
19:23Come on, Dolores.
19:25Think of something a little more sparkling.
19:28I wonder, will you pour me another cup of tea?
19:34Tea?
19:34Yes, please.
19:35But you said you didn't want any more.
19:37I've changed my mind.
19:38Oh.
19:39As a matter of fact, there is something else I want to ask.
19:42Yes.
19:42I know it may sound silly after all this time and not writing and everything,
19:47but I never forgot you, Dolores.
19:49Yes.
19:51Yes.
19:51And I couldn't believe my good fortune when I discovered that you haven't married.
19:55I never married either.
19:57Didn't you?
19:58No.
19:59Would it be too much to expect?
20:01Oh, no.
20:01I mean, would you consider?
20:02Oh, yes.
20:03I mean, will you marry me?
20:04Oh, this is so sad.
20:08Oh, Elvis, my cup is overflowing.
20:12So is mine.
20:14Oh, no, no, it doesn't matter.
20:17And what do you say?
20:18Will you marry me?
20:20Oh, yes, please.
20:20I get a special licence and we can be married next week.
20:24So soon.
20:25Well, we've already wasted 25 years.
20:27We don't want to waste any more.
20:29Oh, wait.
20:30What's the matter?
20:31No, we can't.
20:31We'll have to wait.
20:32You see, my money is tied up abroad and it'll take several weeks to transfer it over here.
20:37Oh, that's all right.
20:38I have enough money.
20:39Oh, no, dear Dolores, I couldn't have you paying for the wedding, the reception and the honeymoon.
20:42Oh, but what is mine is yours.
20:44No, no, it wouldn't be right.
20:46Nonsense.
20:47Don't be so proud.
20:48Well, I'll tell you what I do.
20:50I will use your money on the strict understanding that I pay you back when mine comes through.
20:57Oh, very well if you insist.
20:59I most definitely do.
21:01Oh, gosh, Albert, I'm so excited.
21:04So am I.
21:13Just a moment.
21:15I've had a little engagement.
21:17I've got a meet a fellow down the road on some business.
21:20it'll only take a few minutes and then I shall come back and take you to dinner
21:25somewhere just the two of us. that would be lovely. don't go away.
21:37why were you going?
21:41Albert? everything all right sir? everything all right? I've just seen a
21:47fellow I haven't seen for years, Albert Collins. oh Albert, miss Courtney's
21:51boyfriend? never. yeah it's true. he's a crook, he's a con man. oh you must be
21:57mistaken he's just come back from the Far East. he's been away for 20 years. he's
22:01been away all right doing some porridge. he's been in prison. he was in the nick
22:07with my brother-in-law. he's getting out of there like a fiddler's elbow. do you know
22:13his speciality is? finding lonely women, asking them to marry him, taking their
22:18life savings and scarper him. I'm getting married in the morning.
22:26the bells are going for charge. miss Courtney I'm afraid I've got some rather
22:30disturbing news. oh nothing you could say to me today would disturb me. I think this
22:34might. it's about Albert. ah Albert. my future husband. you see I've just been
22:38talking to Sid. husband? yes we're getting married by special license. oh no. oh now
22:44Mr. Brown I know you're fond of me but you mustn't take it away. has he tried to borrow
22:48any money from you? and I fail to see what business that is of yours. he has. look I
22:53hate to have to tell you Mr. Courtney but your future husband is a crook. don't be
22:56so impertinent. it's true I'm afraid. he's a con man. he specializes in
23:00proposing to lonely women and then taking their money. oh nonsense. I don't believe it.
23:03well ask Sid. his brother-in-law was in prison with him. prison? are you sure? I'm afraid
23:08so. well perhaps he's reformed. oh come on you don't believe that do you? no. I thought
23:17it was too good to be true. he's coming back to take me out to dinner. what shall I do?
23:23don't worry Miss Courtney. I'll deal with him. you just leave everything to me.
23:28I've got a message for you from Miss Courtney. oh yes. push off. what? I know all about your
23:42little game so I advise you to get lost quick before I throw you out. you and whose army?
23:47me and this army?
24:01well uh yeah yeah well um perhaps I had better be going.
24:06it's all right Miss Courtney. he's gone. oh thank you Mr. Brock. oh!
24:18thank you so much!
24:20you anderson yea
24:22cheers
24:29applause
24:31cheers
24:41cheers
24:42cheers
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