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00:00Do-do-do-do
00:30Do-do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:32Do-do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:34Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
00:38Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba
00:40Good evening.
00:47Ah, good evening.
00:48Good evening, sir.
00:50I see that the meaning of the word punctuality hasn't yet sunk in with certain members of our class.
00:54You see, Max? I told you we'd be here before Professor.
01:01You'd better sit down before he comes.
01:03Okey-cokey.
01:04Good evening.
01:07How did you get in? Through the window?
01:10You're late. Too busy drinking in the pub to notice the time?
01:13Well, we've not been in a pub, have we been, Max?
01:17Sure we haven't.
01:18Look, we were coming to the school and we see this old lady trying to cross the road.
01:23That's right, she was very old.
01:25A hand very blind.
01:26Yeah, pushing a pram.
01:29An old blind lady pushing a pram?
01:32Well, maybe she wasn't exactly blind.
01:35Well, maybe she wasn't exactly there, either.
01:38Sure is true.
01:40On Max's life, we have nothing in that pub. Honest.
01:44All right.
01:47Hey, you left your books in the pub.
01:52What's the matter?
01:54Look behind you.
01:59Not been in the pub, eh?
02:03Now I remember we were there, just for a minute.
02:06Come on, sit down, all of you.
02:08Hey, why you not tell me the teachers behind me, you Italian macaroni?
02:12Why, you, you, you lump of Spanish omelette.
02:18All right, come on, sit down and be quiet.
02:20Hey, teacher is right.
02:20You sit down, sit down, be quiet.
02:23Go, sit down, go.
02:24Sit down, sit down.
02:25Yet one man includes you.
02:27Por favor.
02:28You heard.
02:30Sit down.
02:31I'm getting rather tired of this continual habit of certain people being late.
02:34And 7.30 is the time class commences,
02:36and you should all be sitting at your desks ready to begin work.
02:38Now, I shall tell you again,
02:39In future, anybody who comes late will go straight home.
02:43Good evening, everybody.
02:46You're late.
02:47Hey.
02:48Oh, no.
02:49Look, please, I am being early.
02:51It is only 20 minutes past the 7 o'clock.
02:53Correction, it is 25 minutes to the 8.
02:56That clock is not being right at all.
02:58Oh.
02:59And I suppose my watch is not being right also.
03:02Yes, please.
03:03Has it occurred to you that it might be your watch that is wrong?
03:07Oh, blimey.
03:08This watch is guaranteed never to be wrong.
03:10It is 21 Julies.
03:14Jewels.
03:16Yes, please.
03:17I am buying it today from the marketplace.
03:19You bought that watch from a stall on the market?
03:21Most definitely.
03:22The man is telling me it is jolly good bargain.
03:2521 Julies and real gold case.
03:2918 turnips.
03:3018 carats.
03:35Sorry, please.
03:37Well, how much did you pay for this 21 Julied 18 carat gold timepiece?
03:41Uh, two pound, 50 pence.
03:45I think he saw you coming, Ali.
03:48Ah, most definitely.
03:49He was seeing me coming before I was seeing him.
03:52What I mean is you were swindled.
03:54Oh, no.
03:55You can't buy a watch for two pounds, 50.
03:57Ah, but the man is telling me it is being so cheap.
04:00Because it is bankruptured, stuck.
04:03Rupped head.
04:05It's not going, Ali.
04:07Perhaps it needs wind up.
04:10There's nothing to wind up.
04:12Look, it's empty.
04:14Oh, blimey.
04:15I am being chittered.
04:17Excuse me, please.
04:17I go to find the crooked man.
04:19Don't be there now, Ali.
04:20And what about my money?
04:21Well, you just have to put it down to experience.
04:23Now, sit down.
04:24We've got a lot of work to do.
04:27How are you coming along?
04:29Bocsánat.
04:30Have you learned any more English?
04:32Bocsánat.
04:33More English?
04:35Eh, tanultam-e új angol kifejezéseket?
04:38Igen.
04:38Eh, yes.
04:40Eh, bloody foreigners.
04:45Thanks.
04:46Well, that's a start.
04:48You'll just have to follow the lesson as best you can.
04:51Yeah?
04:52And I'll explain later.
04:53Do you understand?
04:56Well, never mind.
04:57Sit down and do your best.
04:58Right.
04:59Now, tonight we're going to look at sentence construction.
05:02Now, can anybody give me a definition of a sentence, please?
05:05Me, please.
05:06Yes, Sulee.
05:07A sentence is a group of words that makes complete sense.
05:11Very good.
05:12For example, communism is only clue way of life.
05:16Or, tabidaries are enemies of peace-raving people.
05:18Or, China will want...
05:19Yeah, I think you're waiting for a point, Sulee.
05:22Right.
05:22Now, a sentence contains eight parts of speech.
05:24Can anybody tell me what they are?
05:26Come along.
05:26Now?
05:27Good.
05:28Excellent.
05:29Pronoun.
05:29Very good.
05:30Hey, why am I very good?
05:32And she's excellent.
05:34Well, all right.
05:34You're both excellent.
05:35Right.
05:36Anybody else?
05:37A third.
05:37Good.
05:38Hadwell.
05:39Well done.
05:40Adjective.
05:40Yes.
05:42Papacational.
05:43Good.
05:43Good.
05:44Yes.
05:45Conjunction.
05:46Well done.
05:46One more.
05:47Come on.
05:48Does anybody know what the other one is?
05:50An interjection.
05:51Right.
05:51Can anybody tell me what an interjection is?
05:53Si, senor.
05:54Yes, one.
05:55Needle.
05:55Say, like, uh, doctor.
06:06Interjection.
06:08No, uh, that's an injection.
06:10Ah, sorry.
06:10An interjection is a word put into a sentence to express some emotion, such as O, R or Hush.
06:16Right.
06:17We will now construct a sentence starting with a noun.
06:20Ranjeet, can you give us a noun, please?
06:22Idiot.
06:23Surely you could have thought of something else.
06:27I could have said Muslim.
06:30Don't you have been insulting me.
06:31Can you go to the right?
06:32That'll do, Ranjeet.
06:34You're here to learn English.
06:35Now, kind of keep your personal prejudices to yourself.
06:38A thousand apologies.
06:39All right.
06:40Now, give me a noun, please.
06:41A waiter.
06:42A waiter.
06:43Good.
06:43Now, Max, an adjective.
06:47Come along.
06:49Look, Ranjeet gave us a noun, waiter.
06:52You describe him.
06:53Is he old, tall, short, thin?
06:55How do I know?
06:56I never met him.
07:00We're not talking about an actual waiter, Max.
07:03Ah, he's a part-time waiter.
07:05We are trying to construct a sentence.
07:09Ranjeet has given us a noun, waiter.
07:11I want you to give me an adjective that describes him.
07:14Hockey.
07:15A hold waiter.
07:17An old waiter.
07:18With a moustache.
07:21Just old will do.
07:23Hockey.
07:25Right.
07:25We'll put a definite article in.
07:27The old waiter.
07:29Now, we need a verb.
07:30Something he was doing.
07:31Danielle?
07:32Ooh, making love.
07:35Can't you think of something better that he could have been doing?
07:37But I can't say nothing better than making love.
07:41Yes, but something more appropriate to a waiter in a restaurant.
07:44Bon, alors.
07:46He served.
07:47Served.
07:48Good.
07:49The old waiter served.
07:52Now, we need an adverb.
07:55Tarot.
07:56En sort.
07:58Yeah, an adverb, please.
08:00Modifying the verb serve.
08:03Carefully.
08:04Carefully.
08:04Carefully.
08:07Served.
08:09Carefully.
08:11Right.
08:12Now, can anybody add anything to that?
08:16The old waiter.
08:18Carefully served.
08:20Fish and chips.
08:22Two more nouns and a conjunction.
08:25Hockey-cockey.
08:27The old waiter.
08:29Carefully served.
08:31Two more nouns and a conjunction.
08:33There's a right first time, Giovanni.
08:39Mr. Brown.
08:39Yes, Sid.
08:40There's a geezer out here who wants to see Miss Courtney.
08:43What's that got to do with me?
08:44Well, I can't find her anywhere.
08:45Would you come out and have a word with him?
08:46Oh, yes.
08:47All right.
08:47Now, I want you to complete the sentence using an interjection, a preposition and a pronoun,
08:51and I shall be back in a minute.
08:52All right?
08:52All right.
08:53All right.
08:53This is him.
09:01Are you Miss Courtney?
09:05Do I look like Miss Courtney?
09:07Well, I'd ask to see you, Miss Courtney.
09:09Ah.
09:10Well, who are you?
09:10My name's Forbes Fortescue.
09:14Pardon?
09:15Forbes Fortescue.
09:18Oh, Jeremy Brown.
09:22I'm an ATC.
09:24I'm a BA, Oxfam.
09:27My card.
09:28Ah.
09:29Oh, you're an ATC, an assistant town clerk.
09:31Quite so.
09:32Ah, I see.
09:33Ah, Miss Courtney.
09:34Mr. Brown.
09:35Is this another of your foreign students?
09:37No, he's an ATC.
09:38I don't care what nationality he is.
09:41It's time you were in the classroom.
09:43Madam, my name is Forbes.
09:47He's hyphenated.
09:49How unfortunate.
09:51I'm here from the town hall.
09:53We have some news from the palace.
09:55Victoria or Crystal?
09:58Buckingham.
09:59I'm here in connection with the royal visit to the borough next week,
10:04and as the Duke himself laid the foundation stone of this building,
10:08it has been suggested that Her Majesty and His Royal Highness
10:10pay a brief informal visit to the school.
10:13The Queen and Prince Philip coming here.
10:15Next Tuesday.
10:16Did you hear that, Mr. Brown?
10:17They're coming here, the two of them, together, in person.
10:20Him and her, together.
10:21Well, calm down, Miss Courtney.
10:23Don't overexcite yourself.
10:24Oh, who's getting overexcited?
10:25I'm being perfectly calm about the whole being.
10:28Oh, oh, oh.
10:29Oh, oh.
10:29Oh, oh.
10:30Oh, oh, oh.
11:00There's strange things on toilet doors.
11:01Bucks and does, um, you know, lads and lasses,
11:04setters and pointers,
11:05but I have never seen Dukes and Queens.
11:07Oh, it's not for them to use.
11:09What's it for?
11:09Well, it's Miss Courtney's idea.
11:12You see, she didn't want to offend the royal family
11:14by letting them see toilet doors.
11:16So I've done the best thing.
11:18I've disguised them.
11:19Oh, very diplomatic.
11:20Right, you.
11:21What a waste of time it is, though, Mr. Brown.
11:23They must have loosened Buckingham Palace.
11:25Oh, absolutely.
11:27Is the old batlax in yet?
11:28The old batlax is here.
11:31Well, I wasn't meaning you, Miss Courtney.
11:33Well, I trust you are not referring to Her Majesty.
11:36Oh, no, no, no.
11:36I was referring to Gladys, the tea lady.
11:38Huh.
11:39Here.
11:41What's this for?
11:42Well, it is not for sticking in your buttonhole.
11:45It is to wave at the royal personages.
11:50Are you going to change?
11:51Into what?
11:52Well, you surely don't intend to greet our distinguished guests
11:56in that jacket.
11:57Haven't you anything a little more formal?
11:59I've got a black tie I wear for funerals.
12:01Here.
12:04Well, that's better.
12:06Here's if I'm going to a cup final.
12:08Sydney, go and sweep the schoolyard.
12:12I'll sweep you up once.
12:13Well, sweep it again.
12:15You wouldn't like me to go down on me hands and knees
12:17and scrub it, would you?
12:19Don't be ridiculous.
12:21It wouldn't dry before they arrive.
12:27I think I'll go and polish the silver.
12:30What silver?
12:31Well, I brought my silver tea set
12:32in case they wanted a drink.
12:34Oh, perhaps the Duke would prefer a tot of rum
12:36being an ex-naval man.
12:37Oh, dear.
12:38I haven't thought of that.
12:40Oh, well, he'll just have to make do with Sherry.
12:41Shall I ask Gladys to make up a couple of ham rolls
12:44in case they feel a bit peckish?
12:46Ham rolls?
12:48You can't give royalty ham rolls.
12:52This is a very special occasion.
12:54Tell her to open a tin of salmon.
12:57You won't want anything to eat.
12:59It is better to be prepared.
13:02Oh.
13:03I wonder if we should have got a red carpet.
13:06Look, why don't you go the whole hog
13:07and ask the music class to play the national anthem
13:09as they enter?
13:10This is supposed to be an informal visit.
13:12I don't think you're approaching this special occasion
13:14in the right attitude.
13:15I think you're being carried away.
13:17Nonsense.
13:17This is an opportunity for all the staff and students
13:21to show their loyalty and devotion to our sovereign.
13:24It's up to the entire school to make a good impression.
13:27And one never knows where it may lead.
13:29The New Year's Honours list isn't far away.
13:31Honours list?
13:32Yes.
13:33A knighthood could be within your grasp.
13:35A knighthood?
13:36Mr. Jeremy Brown.
13:59Arise, Sir Jeremy.
14:06Mr. Brown?
14:09Yes, Your Majesty?
14:10I beg your pardon.
14:11I thought you were the Queen.
14:12Have you been drinking?
14:13No, I just stay dreaming.
14:14Well, you had better wake up.
14:16They are due to arrive in half an hour.
14:18Now, where are your students?
14:18They're in the cloakroom, changing.
14:20Changing?
14:20Yes, they insisted on wearing their national costumes.
14:24Granite?
14:26Granite, are you there?
14:28What?
14:31Oh, blimey, Royal Britannia!
14:34Well, don't you like it?
14:35You do what?
14:36Don't you like it?
14:37Very patriotic.
14:39I don't know whether to salute you or run you up the flagpole.
14:43I've got a surprise for you.
14:45Yeah?
14:46Look.
14:46Oh, blimey.
14:50That'll surprise the Duke.
14:52Surprise him?
14:53He'll paralyze him.
14:55You're supposed to curse you, not flap him your underwear.
14:58Any of my stupid...
14:59Good heavens.
15:00Hey, don't speak to us, you flap your knickers.
15:03Yeah, they will come up here, won't they?
15:07Oh, yes, I expect so, Gladys.
15:09Oh, I do hope so.
15:10I think Prince Philip's lovely.
15:13And I've always been fond of sailors.
15:15Hey, don't forget he belongs to the Queen.
15:18Yeah.
15:18Have you seen any of my students?
15:20They're still changing.
15:21Ah.
15:21Well, go on, tell them to hurry up, Sid, will you?
15:23All right, yeah, I'll get them in.
15:24Yeah, and I'd better get tidied up, too.
15:26The Duke might want to inspect me utensils.
15:29Hey, I think this looks better on you.
15:35All ready for your inspection, sir.
15:38Carry on, Sid.
15:39Fish China.
15:46Is that your national costume?
15:48This is uniform of People's Army of Rehabilitation, as prescribed by Chairman Mao.
15:52Well, you're not right, kid.
15:53Well, I think it lacks a certain finish, a belt of ammunition, a couple of hand grenades.
15:59Miss India.
16:02Oh, very nice, Jamila.
16:05It is Jamila, isn't it?
16:08Miss Germany.
16:11What do you think?
16:12Very teutonic.
16:15Miss Sweden.
16:16Miss Sweden.
16:16Miss Sweden.
16:22Beautiful, yes.
16:23Beautiful, very.
16:25And the clothes, too?
16:26Well, I was referring to that.
16:28Miss France.
16:33What do you think?
16:39Tray Bell.
16:40Merci, Jerry.
16:43Miss Greece.
16:44Are you comfortable in that, Max?
17:08Shabby'd call, boss.
17:11Mr. Parkistani.
17:12Mr. Parkistani.
17:14God bless Queen Elizabeth.
17:17And not forgetting the Duke of Edinburgh.
17:21Duke of Edinburgh?
17:23Him also.
17:24Oh, well.
17:24Italy!
17:25Italy!
17:36Are you representing Italy or the Mafia?
17:39No.
17:39Are you representing Italy or the Mafia?
17:41I represent Sicily.
17:53Mr. Punjab!
17:57Oh, most endearing, Ranjit.
18:00Thank you very much.
18:02Mr. Hungry!
18:03Whee!
18:04Whee!
18:05Whee!
18:05Whee!
18:06Whee!
18:06Whee!
18:07Whee!
18:07Very pretty, Sultan.
18:10Mr. Japan!
18:15Thank you, Poo, I presume.
18:17Ah, sorry.
18:19And last but not least, Mr. Spain!
18:23All right!
18:25Ah!
18:32Profissori, there's still nobody coming.
18:34Well, any minute now.
18:35Come on.
18:35Any places, everyone.
18:37Um, where's Sultan?
18:38Yeah.
18:39He's going to try and find the toilet.
18:41Ah, well, that may take him a while.
18:47I'd like to stress that this visit is informal
18:49so that Her Majesty may not necessarily come into this classroom.
18:53Well, you mustn't be too disappointed if she doesn't,
18:56but if she does, I want you all to behave just as if she weren't here.
18:59Understand?
19:03In view of the occasion, it would seem appropriate
19:05to tell you a little of the history of our British kings and queens.
19:08Now, it all started with the Norman conquests.
19:10I have seen that on the television, very funny English play.
19:15I'm referring to the actual invasion of England by William of Normandy.
19:19It was 1066.
19:20Wrong.
19:21I beg your pardon?
19:261066.
19:29Maybe, uh, 1056.
19:34It was 1066.
19:36No, cannot be 1066.
19:3960 minute, one hour.
19:441066.
19:47Six minute past 11.
19:521066 was the year.
19:55Ha, ha, ha.
19:56So right.
19:56Right.
19:57Now, William of Normandy, by the way, does anybody know what other name he was known
20:05and by William the...
20:06Corn-cure-er?
20:10Conqueror.
20:11Hockey.
20:13Now, he was succeeded by his third son, William Rufus, the Red King.
20:18Oh, blimey.
20:19You are having a communist king?
20:20No, no.
20:23He was called the Red King because of his red hair.
20:26Jolly good.
20:28Now, William Rufus died in 1100 after being struck by an arrow in the woods.
20:33Hey.
20:34Maybe it was Robin the Hood.
20:39Now, Robin the Hood wasn't...
20:41Robin Hood wasn't born then.
20:44He was in the Middle Ages.
20:46How can he be in Middle Age if he's not yet been born?
20:50Look, never mind about Robin Hood, all right?
20:53Oh, yes.
20:55Very comfortable.
20:56Sorry to interrupt, Mr. Brown, but they will be here any moment now,
20:59and I thought it would be rather nice if one of your students were to present this to Her Majesty.
21:04I'll do that.
21:06It is usual for a bouquet to be presented by a lady.
21:10With that skirt, who's going to know the difference?
21:14Come outside and I'll show you.
21:16All right.
21:16Now, who do you suggest, Miss Corbyn?
21:20Well, how about Jemina?
21:22Yes.
21:22Jemina, dear, will you come here?
21:26And for goodness sake, girl, get rid of that knitting.
21:30Now then, Jemina, I want you to wait with me in the hall until Their Majesties arrive,
21:35and then you can present this to the Queen.
21:37You curtsy first, and then you give it to her.
21:39Now, let's try that.
21:41I am the Queen.
21:45Miss Corbyn?
21:46No, no, no, Jemina, come on.
21:47She's just pretending.
21:48Oh, ha.
21:49I am understanding.
21:50Here you are, Queenie.
21:59You do not speak until you are spoken to, and then you address her as ma'am.
22:03Now, let's try again.
22:04All right, there you are.
22:10Superintendent, how soon a royal couple will be here?
22:12They're not coming.
22:13What?
22:14We've had to rearrange the schedule.
22:16Oh.
22:17They're going straight from the hospital to the town hall.
22:19We're cutting out the visit to the school.
22:21Well, I better go and tell Miss Corp, then.
22:23There isn't time.
22:23You must come with me now.
22:24You men, follow me.
22:26Oh.
22:26Excuse me.
22:32Please.
22:34My name is Mrs. Baxter.
22:36But you are not.
22:37My name is Mrs. Baxter.
22:41And my husband has just joined your woodwork class.
22:45Do you think I could have a word with him?
22:50Uh.
22:52Hey, Sid.
22:53No, you can't.
22:54Sid, no.
22:54God, blimey.
22:56It's her.
22:56Come on.
22:58Come on.
22:59Come on.
23:03Hang on.
23:04Hang on.
23:04Hang on.
23:05Don't go away.
23:06Come on.
23:06Come on.
23:06Come on.
23:07Try it again.
23:08She's gone.
23:08Mr. Brown.
23:09She's here.
23:10She's arrived.
23:11She's outside.
23:12She can't be.
23:13She must have come in by the back entrance.
23:14But don't leave her standing outside.
23:16Sidney, show her in.
23:29So pleased to meet you, Mum.
23:32Where is your husband?
23:34He's in the woodwork class.
23:38I do hope we shall have the pleasure of meeting him later on.
23:43This is Mr. Brown, our English teacher.
23:47How do you do?
23:48Mum.
23:51Janela.
23:59Oh, Mum.
24:02Oh, how kind.
24:08And in this class, we are endeavouring to teach English to foreign students.
24:27Excuse me, Miss Courtney.
24:29Don't interrupt, Miss Brown.
24:30I think you should know that.
24:30Mr. Brown.
24:31All right.
24:31Please yourself.
24:32Oh, would you care for a kind of teacher?
24:34If it's not too much trouble.
24:36Oh, it's no trouble at all.
24:39You must come round and have a cup of tea with my husband and I sometime.
24:43Oh, it's no trouble at all.
24:44Oh, it's no trouble at all.
24:44Oh, it's no trouble at all.
24:45Oh, it's no trouble at all.
24:46Oh, it's no trouble at all.
24:47Oh, it's no trouble at all.
24:48Oh, it's no trouble at all.
24:49Oh, it's no trouble at all.
24:50Oh, it's no trouble at all.
24:51Oh, it's no trouble at all.
24:52Oh, it's no trouble at all.
24:53Oh, it's no trouble at all.
24:54Oh, it's no trouble at all.
24:55Oh, it's no trouble at all.
24:56Oh, it's no trouble at all.
24:57Oh, it's no trouble at all.
24:58Oh, it's no trouble at all.
24:59Oh, it's no trouble at all.
25:00Oh, it's no trouble at all.
25:01Oh, it's no trouble at all.
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