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00:00Do-do-do-do-do
00:30Do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:32Do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:34Do-do-do-do-wa
00:34Do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:38Do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:39Do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:39Do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:45Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:48Do-do-do-do-do-do-wa
00:49Good evening, Sidney.
00:51Good evening, Miss Courtney.
00:53Just giving your daughter a bit of a touch-up.
00:55Did you have a nice holiday?
00:56I had seven days in sunny Spain.
00:59Pardon?
01:00Sunny Spain.
01:01Oh, that's nice.
01:02It rained.
01:03Oh, I still, I suppose you enjoyed those exotic Spanish dishes.
01:07I got food poisoning.
01:09Oh, sorry.
01:10Did it rain every day?
01:11Oh, no, when I got food poisoning, the sun came out.
01:15When I got better, it went back in.
01:18Apart from the day before we left, that was absolutely glorious.
01:22Well, at least you had one good day.
01:23I got sunburnt.
01:24Oh, I'm just pitching.
01:28Oh, hello, sir.
01:34Ah, Mr. Brown, welcome back.
01:37Oh, Ty, is she in?
01:38Oh, yes, I've cleaned out your bin.
01:41No, no, no, is she in?
01:43Oh, oh, yes.
01:45She's in a shocking temper.
01:46Oh, well, I'll see you later, then.
01:47Are you glad to be back?
01:48Oh, yes, I shall miss my old class,
01:50but I'm looking forward to the challenge of starting again with fresh minds.
01:53I wonder how many different nationalities I'll have to deal with this term.
01:58Ah, good evening.
02:08Pleased to meet you.
02:09Ah, well, thank you.
02:11Do you speak any English?
02:12Hungry.
02:13Hungry?
02:14Igen.
02:15But you want something to eat?
02:18Len, hungry.
02:19Oh, Hungarian.
02:21Igen, Budapest.
02:22All right, I'll put you in my register.
02:25Bocsánat.
02:25What is your name?
02:27Bocsánat.
02:28Your name.
02:34Name, what is your name?
02:36Ah, mi a nevem?
02:37Angolul.
02:38Zoltán Szabó.
02:40Zoltán Szabó.
02:41Igen.
02:42Yes.
02:43Bocsánat.
02:46This is yes, and this is no.
02:50Ah, yes, no.
02:52Right, I am Mr. Brown, your teacher.
03:04Ah, tanár úr!
03:05Nagyon örülök, hogy találkoztuk.
03:07Nekem nagyon fontos, hogy megtalál tanulunk.
03:09Ebben az verszágon másként nem tudok érvényesülni.
03:11És maga olyan intelligensnek néz ki,
03:13hogy biztos vagyok benne, hogy gorsan meg fog tanulni.
03:16Well, I hope that was complimentary.
03:18Bocsánat.
03:19Never mind.
03:19Bocsánat.
03:21Look, do you know any English?
03:31Ah, beszélek-e angolul.
03:33Igen.
03:33Yes.
03:36Good shave the queue in.
03:40Good shave the queue in.
03:43God save the queen.
03:44Yes, more.
03:47More?
03:48Oh, some more English.
03:49Please, thank you.
03:51Good.
03:51Stones.
03:52Stones?
03:54I can get no satisfaction.
03:59Rolling stones.
04:01Yes.
04:01Good.
04:02Well done.
04:03Good náven, Herr Brown.
04:06I'm most happy to be seeing you again.
04:10Oh, no.
04:10Ranjit, what are you doing here?
04:12We failed our examen, but we are coming back for more lessons.
04:15That is correct.
04:16Like Robert E. Bruce said, if at first you are not succeeding, try, try.
04:24Again.
04:25If at first you are not succeeding, try.
04:26Never mind.
04:29Were you not expecting us?
04:31No, the authorities don't notify the individual teachers of the results.
04:34And as usual, Miss Courtney has kept me in the dark.
04:37She switched the lights out.
04:38Yes.
04:39No, she never told me.
04:42This is Zoltan.
04:43Ranjit.
04:45Delighted to be making you acquaintance.
04:48Ah, what a nice man.
04:50He's given me a present.
04:52No, no.
04:52He wants you to read out something from his phrase book.
04:55Thousand apologies.
04:56Waiter, my soup is cold.
05:00On this page, Ranjit.
05:04Ah, pleased to meet you.
05:09Good.
05:10And this is Anna.
05:11How do you do?
05:12Yes, thank you.
05:15Would you both like to sit down?
05:17Yeah.
05:17This time I sit at the front.
05:19Then I shall be learning quicker.
05:20Good.
05:21I will be sitting in my custom place.
05:23Good.
05:25Yes, well, I was hoping for a hundred percent to pass record,
05:28but still, two failures out of ten is not bad.
05:30What's happening, Master Ji?
05:35Bung Bawa.
05:36Four failures out of ten.
05:39Jamila, you failed.
05:41Sorry, Master Ji.
05:42But maybe next time I am whining, huh?
05:45I'm sure you mean winning.
05:47Ah, huh.
05:48And you, Taro?
05:49Asshole.
05:50Loss of face.
05:52Not good for Japanese.
05:54First, consider Harry Currier.
05:57Then, no, decide, come back for more lessons.
06:01If no pass next time, act free!
06:06Just make sure you don't do it on the classroom floor.
06:09Well, as you can see, you are not alone.
06:11This is Zoltan.
06:13Jamila and Taro.
06:14Plea to meet you.
06:15Good happening.
06:20Jamila, you want your place back, yo?
06:22No, no.
06:23I sit at backside with Taro.
06:26No, Jamila, you will sit at the back.
06:28Backside is what you sit on.
06:32No, Master Ji.
06:33What I sit on is chair.
06:38I can see why you failed.
06:42Buenas noches, Elkos.
06:46Juan, don't tell me you failed.
06:48So right.
06:49I don't tell you.
06:51You don't need to tell me.
06:52I know.
06:53Ah, you plenty smart.
06:56It's more than I can say for you.
06:57Por favor.
06:58Never mind.
07:00Oh, this is Zoltan.
07:01This is Juan.
07:02How you do?
07:04For me, eh?
07:06He's just trying to say that he's pleased to meet you.
07:08He doesn't speak any English.
07:09Ah, so right.
07:10I taste this.
07:13That would be like the blind leading the blind.
07:15Blind?
07:17You don't see.
07:19You feel, you feel.
07:20No.
07:24He's not blind.
07:25I was just using a...
07:26Oh, never mind.
07:27Sit down.
07:28Okay.
07:29I sit here.
07:30Yes.
07:31Oh.
07:32Good afternoon.
07:35Good evening.
07:36I here come to English learn.
07:38I come here to learn English.
07:41We together sit?
07:43No, we can't do that.
07:44What does matter?
07:45There's wrong something with me?
07:47No, there's wrong nothing with you.
07:49I'm very much like you.
07:51Yeah, well, I am your teacher.
07:53Teacher?
07:54You're too young to be teacher.
07:56Oh, thank you.
07:56Is that your name?
07:58Yeah.
07:59Ingrid Svensson.
08:01Oh, Ingrid Svensson.
08:03I take it you're, uh, Swedish?
08:05Yeah.
08:07Where from?
08:08Stockholm.
08:09Stockholm.
08:10And what is your job?
08:11Au pair.
08:12Which pair?
08:13Oh, no.
08:16Well, uh, where shall we sit you?
08:17Ah, let's sit here with me.
08:19There is also a place here beside me.
08:22Now, here, please.
08:23Here, mate.
08:24Yeah, well, I think we'll sit you at the front for the time being.
08:26Here, attack.
08:27Very nice.
08:33Yeah, well, you're sitting next to Juan, and, uh, behind you is Ranjit.
08:37At the back, are Tarot and Jamila.
08:39She is Anna, and he is Zoltan.
08:41And I am Ali.
08:44Ali, not you as well.
08:46As well as what, please?
08:47You failed.
08:48Oh, yes.
08:49But I'm getting 20 out of 100.
08:52Well, it's nothing to be proud of.
08:53You should get at least 50 marks to pass.
08:5520 is disgraceful.
08:56Oh, no.
08:57Last year, I'm not getting anything at all.
09:00So I'm getting more and more better.
09:02I sit here.
09:05Squeeze, please.
09:08Please to get up.
09:09What for?
09:10That is my sit.
09:12I not see name in sit.
09:14Get your big Spanish bottom out of my chair.
09:18You talk to me like that.
09:20I punch you.
09:20No, well, that's enough.
09:21Seats are not reservable.
09:23Sit somewhere else, Ali.
09:24Okay.
09:25I sit at the back.
09:27You big Spanish bull.
09:28Come on.
09:30I will just wait a few more moments in case there are any more new students.
09:34Buona sera!
09:36Hey, Sarah!
09:37It's just like whole times.
09:41It's a big surprise, eh, professori?
09:43Well, let's say it's more of a disappointment.
09:45Oh, but I'm not disappointed to be back.
09:48Who's that?
09:50This is Ingrid.
09:51She is Swedish.
09:52She's also sitting in my seat.
09:54You will move, yes?
09:55I will move, no.
09:56Oh, you can come and sit next to me.
09:59No, you sit next to me.
10:01That's right.
10:02You sit next to Giovanni and Max because I want to sit here.
10:05I'm sorry, Danielle, but I think it's important that new students should sit at the front.
10:09I don't like you.
10:11I'm so embarrassed.
10:12You can come and sit next to me.
10:15Hey, sit between us.
10:16Okay.
10:22Well, I must say that I am extremely disappointed in you all.
10:26It's not your fault, professori.
10:28We not pass because we're stupid.
10:32And what does that make me?
10:35I'm more stupid.
10:36Exactly.
10:39Out of ten students, I have nine failures.
10:42Very sorry, I'm late.
10:44Congratulations.
10:45You're getting ten out of ten.
11:03Well, I really don't know what to say.
11:06Oh, blimey.
11:09If you're not knowing what to say, how are you going to be teaching us?
11:15I'll ignore that stupid remark.
11:17Jolly good.
11:20Because you have all failed, I have failed.
11:23No, that's not true.
11:25It's perfectly true.
11:26Now, this term, I want much more effort from all of you.
11:28You must all pull your socks up.
11:30All right.
11:31You must all concentrate much harder this term.
11:42Now, we shall start at the beginning again.
11:44Only this term, I shall be giving you twice as much homework as last.
11:47And I want a hundred percent effort from all of you.
11:52Right.
11:53Now, tonight, I thought we'd start by you each telling me what you've been doing during the holidays.
11:58Please.
11:59Yes, Sultan.
11:59I do not understand what you are saying.
12:05Well, never mind.
12:06Just keep quiet and listen.
12:08Bocianot.
12:09Never mind.
12:10Bocianot.
12:10Eh, un momentito, un momentito.
12:13I speak.
12:14Bocianot.
12:15No, bociana.
12:16No, speak.
12:21Sorry.
12:28Right.
12:29Right.
12:30Now, what have you been doing with yourself, Jamila?
12:36Master Ji, I went on holidays to visit all my family.
12:44Ah, you went to Bombay?
12:46Bombay?
12:46No, Birmingham.
12:52Birmingham, the Mecca of the Midlands.
12:55And you, Taro?
12:57Ah, so.
13:01Well, what did you get up to?
13:03I went on a fishing holiday.
13:06Oh, good.
13:06Did you catch anything?
13:07Catch heavy cold.
13:12Did you enjoy your break, Ali?
13:13I'm not breaking anything.
13:18I'm not breaking a holiday.
13:19Oh, jolly good.
13:21I'm learning how to be driving a motor car.
13:24Good.
13:24That's very useful.
13:25When do you take your test?
13:27Oh, blimey.
13:27I'm already failing my test.
13:29The examiner man was jumping out of the car.
13:33And I was going down a hilly.
13:35I expect you were going too fast.
13:38Oh, no.
13:39I was going backwards.
13:43Right, what did you do, Su Li?
13:46Spent time lighting.
13:48Lighting what?
13:49Lighting book.
13:50Oh, a book.
13:52What sort of book are you writing?
13:55It's called The Democratic Way of Life.
13:57All about brawler's freedom-loving Chinese.
14:01I see.
14:01A work of fiction.
14:02Tell us what you did with yourself, Ranjit.
14:07I have been looking after my cousin while her husband has been away.
14:11Oh, that's very commendable.
14:13He is being discharged this week.
14:15Discharged?
14:16Has he been in hospital?
14:17No.
14:18Prison.
14:20Oh, I see.
14:21And he's been sent to prison for something he didn't do.
14:24Really?
14:25What didn't he do?
14:25He didn't run fast enough.
14:28I know.
14:30Tell us what you did, Giovanni.
14:31I went to Marsgate.
14:37Marsgate?
14:38Now, scuse me.
14:39I met this fantastic girl.
14:42She had the biggest...
14:43Yeah, yeah, yeah.
14:47I'm sure you'll get your meaning.
14:49Every day, we used to go on the sands for a bit.
14:54For a while?
14:56Scuse me?
14:57You used to go on the sands for a while.
14:59To say that you went on the sands for a bit could imply that you were doing, um, well, something naughty.
15:04That's right.
15:04We were very naughty on the sands.
15:07I learned.
15:08Mr. Brown.
15:10Miss Courtney wants you straight away.
15:12Oh, thank you, Sid.
15:13Well, I suggest you all take an early tea break and we continue with this later.
15:16Please.
15:19Yes, Sultan.
15:20Look, you know, you really must start to speak.
15:32Speak.
15:34You.
15:35Girl.
15:43Yes, please.
15:44You're not a girl.
15:46You.
15:47Ah, you have a girlfriend.
15:56Girl.
15:57I understand.
15:57English.
15:58An English girlfriend.
15:59You.
16:01Me, write.
16:02Oh, you want me to write a letter to your girlfriend?
16:05Please.
16:06Ah.
16:07What do you want me to write?
16:09Boccanot.
16:10Yes.
16:10What I write?
16:16Ah, hogy mit Ãrjon a nÅ‘nek?
16:18Az, hogy ilyen gyönyörű nővel még életemben nem kalálkoznak.
16:21És szeretném megcsókolni.
16:24És elvinni egy vendéglőbe, ahol van egy kis cigányzene és jó magyar bor.
16:29És megmutatnám neki, hogy milyen az igazi magyar férfi.
16:34I think I'll get the general idea.
16:41Sidney!
16:48Yes, Miss Courtney?
16:49Did you tell Mr. Brown that I wished to see him?
16:51Oh, yes, definitely.
16:56I think this should be all right.
16:58Dear Miss, I'm writing to tell you of my feelings for you.
17:02I think you are beautiful.
17:04I want to hold you in my arms and kiss you.
17:07Please say you feel the same about me.
17:11Oh, my love.
17:13Yeah.
17:19What is going on in here?
17:21Oh, nothing.
17:22Well, it certainly doesn't look like nothing.
17:24Ah, well, I was just writing a letter for Zoltan to his girlfriend
17:27and he was showing me his appreciation in Hungarian.
17:31Kindly leave us.
17:32Boccanot.
17:33Go.
17:35I said go.
17:36Go.
17:37Go.
17:41Now, Mr. Brown.
17:43I understand that none of your previous students
17:45passed their Lower Cambridge Certificate.
17:47Ah, well, I think there were a few near misses.
17:48That is not good enough.
17:50Obviously, Mr. Brown, you are sadly lacking in the necessary qualities
17:53required to teach English.
17:54Ah, just a moment.
17:55Don't interrupt.
17:57I shall be keeping a very close eye on you this term, Mr. Brown,
17:59and unless I see a marked improvement, out you go.
18:02Well, it's not necessary.
18:03I do no wish to listen to your feeble excuses.
18:07Pompous old cow.
18:11What was that?
18:12Oh, I said, I'm just going now.
18:21Hey, you not speak nothing?
18:24He is not knowing the English as well as what we are knowing.
18:28I speak with him.
18:30Oh, blimey.
18:31He speak Hungarian.
18:34Sure, I speak it on Aryan.
18:38Football.
18:39Igen, football.
18:41Puskas.
18:41Pelle.
18:42Kempis.
18:43Beckenbauer.
18:44Bobbily Sheldon.
18:45Bobbily Moore.
18:46Hey!
18:48You see, I told you I speak the language.
18:50Hey, you like England, no?
18:55Yeah, I also very much like it, yeah?
18:58You not make the eyes at Mr. Brown.
19:01If I want, I will.
19:03Mr. Brown does not like the blonde ladies.
19:06Swedish girls are the beautifulest.
19:09Trouble with Swedish girls, they are too big in the bosom.
19:12French girls are too big in the mouth.
19:14In China, rules are not important.
19:18It is Blaine's and Interac that matter.
19:20Absolument.
19:21Yeah, Su Li is right.
19:22We women are not symbols from sex.
19:25You agree, Jamila?
19:26I know understanding.
19:28We women are not here to give the men the pleasure.
19:33I like give men pleasure.
19:36Trying to find a few winners?
19:38Ah, no, Mr. Brown.
19:39Just trying to find out if I can afford to leave the wife.
19:42Pardon?
19:43Premium bonds.
19:44£100,000.
19:45I could be lucky.
19:46Somebody's got to win it.
19:47How many bonds have you got?
19:48One.
19:50You're as bad as me.
19:51I've only got one.
19:521-double-F-2-3-2-3-2.
19:54You've got a good memory, haven't you?
19:55Ah, it's not a difficult one.
19:561-double-F-2-3-2-3-2.
19:58That's right.
20:00Hey, that's it.
20:02That's what?
20:021-double-F-2-3-2-3-2.
20:05I don't believe it.
20:06Here, you sure you've got the right cucumber?
20:08Cucumber?
20:09The number!
20:10Yes, I've got my bond here.
20:11Positive, look.
20:121-double-F-2-3-2-3-2.
20:14That's right.
20:15100,000 pounds.
20:16What are you going to do with it?
20:17What am I going to do?
20:18Celebrate, of course.
20:19Gladys.
20:20Yes, Mr. Brown?
20:21Coffees all round.
20:29Right.
20:29Quiet, everybody.
20:30Listen.
20:30I want to read you all my letter of resignation.
20:32Oh!
20:34Are you not going to resign?
20:35No, no.
20:35I am definitely resigning.
20:36With 100,000 pounds,
20:38I no longer need to teach English.
20:39That's true.
20:40Oh!
20:41Right.
20:42Dear Dracula.
20:43This is to inform you
20:47that I think you are a rude,
20:48obnoxious,
20:49and self-opinionated old dragon.
20:52And if ever I see you again,
20:54it'll be too soon.
20:56Yours disrespectfully, Jeremy Brown.
20:59Right.
20:59Ali.
21:00Yes, please.
21:01Do me a favor
21:01and see that Miss Courtney
21:02gets this straight away.
21:04Jolly good.
21:09Please.
21:10Oh, yes.
21:11Zoltan, your letter.
21:12There we are.
21:19Right, Gladys.
21:20Where's Sid's paper?
21:21Oh, he went with it.
21:24Took it with him.
21:24Took it with him?
21:25I got a paper, Mr. Brown.
21:27Oh, great match.
21:28There we are.
21:30Ernie's lucky winner.
21:31100,000 pounds.
21:33And today's number is
21:351EF2323...
21:36Wait a minute.
21:38That's not right.
21:381EF.
21:39It was 1FF and the other one.
21:40Do you apologise
21:42for the misprint
21:42in our earlier edition?
21:46I haven't won anything.
21:49So you will not
21:50be resignating after all?
21:52Resigning.
21:53Oh.
21:54That letter to Miss...
21:56Hello, please.
21:59Ali.
22:00The letter to Miss Courtney.
22:01She's not in the office.
22:02Oh, thank God.
22:03Mr. Bryan,
22:04Mr. Nadine,
22:05did you wish to see me?
22:05No.
22:06Oh, yes, please.
22:07This is for you.
22:08I want another word
22:10with you, Mr. Brown.
22:11Come into the office.
22:15Close the door.
22:19Ah, just see
22:19what this letter is first.
22:20Oh, I shouldn't bother
22:21if I were you.
22:22You never know where it's been.
22:23It could be full of jokes.
22:23Oh, don't be so ridiculous.
22:26You know,
22:26I seem to recognise
22:27this writing.
22:29It looks remarkably
22:30like yours, Mr. Brown.
22:31Oh, it's nothing like mine.
22:32It just looks like mine.
22:33Go away.
22:33I'll have better than it.
22:34Er,
22:35I think I'll go.
22:36I haven't finished with you yet.
22:37You will have
22:38when you've read that letter.
22:39No, make a pint.
22:40Nothing.
22:47But, Horace.
22:50Miss Courtney.
22:51I have never read
22:51anything like this
22:52in my life.
22:53I can explain.
22:54Just listen to this.
22:55I'd rather not.
22:57Dear Miss,
22:58I am writing
22:59to tell you
22:59of my feelings for you.
23:01You see,
23:01I thought I'd want to...
23:02I want to hold you
23:05in my arms
23:06and kiss you.
23:09You did write this letter,
23:10Mr. Brown.
23:11Oh, yeah,
23:11well, not to you.
23:12Well, you did the letter
23:13you were writing
23:13for that Hungarian student.
23:15Yes, you see,
23:15what must have happened...
23:16You don't need to go on.
23:18I mean,
23:18it's obvious
23:19he's been spitten
23:19by my charm.
23:21It feels like...
23:22Pardon?
23:24I have told you
23:25before, Mr. Brown,
23:27that I do have
23:27this strange fascination
23:29for the opposite sex.
23:30Oh, yes.
23:31Very strange.
23:34You may not believe
23:35this, Mr. Brown,
23:36but when I was
23:37a young girl,
23:38I was very plain.
23:48Cup of tea, please,
23:49Bernice.
23:51Everything hot gay,
23:51Mr. Brown?
23:52Yes, I must have put
23:53Zoltan's letter
23:54to his girlfriend
23:54in my envelope
23:55to Miss Courtney.
23:56Hey,
23:57he's not gonna be
23:58very happy.
23:59Why not?
24:00He's just gone
24:01to give the letter
24:01you write to Miss Courtney
24:02to his girlfriend.
24:05What?
24:05Don't lie.
24:07We keep them all happy
24:08in that sport,
24:09John.
24:23Don't lie.
24:41You wait.
24:42You wait.
24:43You wait.
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