Title: Hello Sailor.
Mind Your Language, Season 1, Episode 10.
Episode Air Date: 2 March 1978.
Episode Brief:
Juan brings his Russian sailor friend Boris Borisovich to Mr. Brown’s class. Boris explains that he wants to defect and stay in England after having fallen love with a girl he just met. Everything seems to be going all right until Ivan Ivanovich, captain of Boris’ ship, shows up and demands to take his roaming sailor home.
#Hello Sailor #Season 1 #Episode 10
#Mind Your Language
#funny #viral #comedy #entertainment #season #top #mr #brown #english #exam #cheating
#fyp
Mind Your Language, Season 1, Episode 10.
Episode Air Date: 2 March 1978.
Episode Brief:
Juan brings his Russian sailor friend Boris Borisovich to Mr. Brown’s class. Boris explains that he wants to defect and stay in England after having fallen love with a girl he just met. Everything seems to be going all right until Ivan Ivanovich, captain of Boris’ ship, shows up and demands to take his roaming sailor home.
#Hello Sailor #Season 1 #Episode 10
#Mind Your Language
#funny #viral #comedy #entertainment #season #top #mr #brown #english #exam #cheating
#fyp
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Do-do-do-do
00:30Do-do-do-do-do
00:33Do-do-do-do-do
00:36Do-do-do-do-do-do
00:38You are looking for someone, Mr. Cervantes?
01:00Please.
01:01Please.
01:02Never mind.
01:03Shh.
01:04This way.
01:05Oh, good evening, Juan.
01:06We only just made it.
01:07Si, si.
01:08Well, come along into the classroom.
01:09In a moment.
01:10First, I have to go someplace.
01:11Oh.
01:12Oh, don't do that.
01:13No.
01:14Hey, come on.
01:15This way.
01:16This way.
01:17This way.
01:18Hi.
01:19Good evening, everyone.
01:20Well, I may as well warn you that I'm not in the best of humors tonight.
01:38In fact, I have a serious complaint.
01:40Why don't you go to the doctor?
01:42It's not that sort of complaint, Danielle.
01:44I'm far from happy with your progress.
01:46It's as if I'm banging my head against a brick wall.
01:48Oh, blimey.
01:49If you're doing that, you will be getting a headache.
01:52I checked your homework last night.
01:55And frankly, I think you're getting worse.
01:57Now, Max, the correct form of address for a cardinal is not Westminster Cathedral.
02:01I didn't know he'd moved.
02:05That should have been your eminence.
02:08And, Danielle, the word conjugate is applied to verbs and has nothing whatsoever to do with
02:13marital relations.
02:14Why, I'm sorry.
02:15And as for you, Ranjit, well, some of your answers made no sense whatsoever.
02:20That is because I'm not understanding the gist of the questions.
02:24So I'm answering different questions that I do understand.
02:29That is not the object of homework.
02:32Thousand apologies.
02:33Buonasera.
02:34Giovanni.
02:35What time do you call this?
02:36Eh, ten past seven.
02:40You're late.
02:41Haven't you got a watch?
02:42Oh, I had a watch.
02:43It was a beautiful watch.
02:45It was rust-proof, shock-proof, waterproof, everything.
02:49The only trouble is, it wasn't quite super-proof.
02:52Super-proof?
02:53Yeah.
02:54Last night, I'm working in the restaurant, and whoops at the daisy, I dropped it in the sofa.
03:00Quiet.
03:01Have you seen one?
03:03One what?
03:04One Cervantes.
03:05Oh, excuse me.
03:06No.
03:07Where the devil has he got to?
03:08Eh, it's okay, my friend.
03:09Wait here for me.
03:10Oh, I don't know about that.
03:11It's only to finish class.
03:12Oh, all right then.
03:13Do you want a cup of tea?
03:14Eh, he not speak the English good.
03:15Oh.
03:16Not like me.
03:17Oh.
03:18You wait here.
03:19No speak.
03:20No nothing.
03:21Oh.
03:22Oh.
03:23Oh.
03:24Oh.
03:25Oh.
03:26Oh.
03:27Oh.
03:28Oh.
03:29Oh.
03:30Oh.
03:31Oh.
03:32Oh.
03:33Oh.
03:34Oh.
03:35Oh.
03:36Oh.
03:37Oh.
03:38Oh.
03:39Okay.
03:40Oh.
03:41Oh.
03:42Oh-kay.
03:43Oh-kay.
03:44Right, this evening we're going to concentrate on the alphabet.
03:48I'm gonna go around the class and I want each of you to give me a word beginning
03:51with a different letter from the alphabet.
03:53Max, we'll start with you.
03:54A.
03:55OH A.
03:56A desk.
03:58No, Max.
03:59That's a D.
04:00Alright.
04:01D desk.
04:02Max, desk doesn't begin with the letter A.
04:06I don't say anything.
04:07I want a word beginning with the letter A.
04:10A door.
04:10Good.
04:11A door.
04:12Well done.
04:12Excuse, please.
04:14Yes, Ali?
04:14I'm not understanding why you are saying a desk is not right, but a door is right.
04:19Ah, yes.
04:20Well, you see, when Max said a door, he was meaning the verb to a door.
04:24And although they do sound the same, he didn't mean a door.
04:26For example, this door.
04:27Am I right, Max?
04:29Sure you're right.
04:30I'm meaning any door.
04:33At this rate, it'll take us a week to get through the alphabet.
04:35But, oh, we'll try again, Max.
04:37Please give me a word beginning with the letter A.
04:40And I don't want A something, just one word beginning with the letter A.
04:44Think of a fruit.
04:46Apple?
04:46Apple.
04:47Good.
04:48Danielle, B.
04:50B for brown.
04:51Good.
04:52B for beautiful.
04:53Yeah, thank you, Danielle.
04:57Anna, C.
04:58Red.
05:00Red?
05:01What's that got to do with C?
05:02Red C.
05:05I want a word beginning with the letter C.
05:09Cow?
05:09Yes, well done.
05:12Tarot.
05:13D.
05:14Arthur.
05:17Darko.
05:18Darko.
05:19Well, dark.
05:21Dark.
05:22K.
05:23Yes, good.
05:24Jamila.
05:25E.
05:27Heavening.
05:28Good, excellent, well done.
05:30Giovanni.
05:31F.
05:31Thick.
05:33Thick.
05:34That's right.
05:35No, there's no such word as thick.
05:37Sure there is.
05:38My boss is English and he say lots of times, through thick and through thin.
05:45Yes, well, your boss's grammar isn't very good and don't give me the old chestnut about his grandma being very good for her age.
05:50Try not to say that.
05:52Good.
05:52She's dead.
05:55Quiet, everybody.
05:56Look, there's far too much levity in this class.
05:58Don't forget that you have your exams coming up shortly.
06:01Now, try and take it seriously, please.
06:03Giovanni, a word beginning with F.
06:06Female.
06:07Good.
06:07Well done.
06:09Su Li.
06:10G.
06:11Glate.
06:12Glate.
06:12As in Glate Wall of China, built by Grawlier's Chinese workers.
06:16Ah, yes.
06:17Thank you, Su Li.
06:19Perdón.
06:20Ah, van.
06:22We were just going through the alphabet.
06:23Por favor.
06:25A, B, C, D, E.
06:27Ah, sí, alfabeto.
06:30A, B, C, D.
06:33Would you like to give me a word beginning with the letter H?
06:36Ah.
06:37Ah, sí.
06:38Pues, uh, mira, uh, por favor.
06:44Calabra.
06:45Ah, palabra.
06:47Juli.
06:48Juli?
06:49Sí.
06:50April, May, Jun, Juli.
06:53No one, that's a J.
06:55Juli.
06:55I want H.
06:57Ah, sí.
06:58Hacienda.
06:59Yeah, well, I'll accept that.
07:00Por favor.
07:01It's all right.
07:01It doesn't matter.
07:01Sit down.
07:03Good.
07:05Ali.
07:06I.
07:08You are what?
07:10A word beginning with the letter I.
07:14Infidel.
07:14Are you meaning me?
07:16Yes.
07:17Hap, a pair of you.
07:18Sit down.
07:19Ranjit.
07:20J.
07:20Jackass.
07:23Are you meaning me?
07:24No, definitely.
07:26Not your damn day one up, you monkey face.
07:29Quiet, please.
07:30Sit down, both of you.
07:31Danielle.
07:32K.
07:32K for kind hearted.
07:35Good.
07:35K for kiss.
07:36K for kiss.
07:38Listen, I think that'll do, Danielle.
07:41Uh, Max.
07:42L.
07:43Elephant.
07:45Now, Max, try again.
07:49Love it.
07:49Good.
07:51Anna.
07:51M.
07:53Meistersinger.
07:53No, knitting begins with a K.
08:01What do you knit with?
08:06Ah, wool.
08:12What are these?
08:15Needles.
08:16Needles.
08:17Excellent.
08:18Well done.
08:18Giovanni, can you give me a word beginning with the letter O?
08:22Oryble.
08:22No.
08:24Holiday?
08:25No.
08:26Oapeless?
08:27Yes, you are.
08:30You keep dropping your aspirates.
08:32Eh?
08:35I'll not drop nothing.
08:37No, no, no, no.
08:38An aspirate is the sound made by the letter H.
08:41The words you've given me all start with H and not with an O.
08:44Excuse me.
08:45I want a word beginning with O.
08:46Come on.
08:47How to say it?
08:48That's better.
08:49Excuse me, Mr. Brown.
08:51Ah, hello, then.
08:51Miss Courtney wants to see you in the tea room.
08:54Ah, all right.
08:54I'll be as quick as I can.
08:56Giovanni, would you take charge of the class?
08:57Si, Professor.
09:00I think you'd better come too, Pedro.
09:03Por favor.
09:04Miss Courtney's found your fishy friend.
09:07Are you going to answer me?
09:10Look, what is your name?
09:13Who are you and what are you doing here?
09:17What seems to be the problem, Miss Courtney?
09:18This is.
09:19I just came in here and found him.
09:22Well, he seems to be some sort of foreigner, but I can't get a word out of him.
09:25Is he one of yours?
09:26No, I'm not sure.
09:27Well, you can find out what he's doing here.
09:30After all, you do seem to have a way with these foreign persons.
09:34Well, I'll do my best.
09:36Hello.
09:36What is your name?
09:40Name?
09:41Do you speak English?
09:43No?
09:44Parlez-vous Francais?
09:46Sprechen de Deutsch?
09:47Parlez Italiano?
09:49Habla Spaniel?
09:50Well, say something, even if it's only but not him.
09:55Amigo.
09:56Everything's all right.
09:57Not worry, not worry.
09:58Oh, Juan, you know this person?
10:00Si.
10:00I'll tell you the truth.
10:02He's my brother.
10:03Your brother?
10:04I don't believe you.
10:05Okay.
10:06I'll tell you the truth.
10:07He's not my brother.
10:09He's a good friend.
10:11We sleep together.
10:12Pardon?
10:12Not in the same bed.
10:16Same room.
10:17Look, why don't you tell me the whole story, Juan?
10:20Okay.
10:21I'll make it a clean chest.
10:22Breast.
10:23Si.
10:24But you must promise me not to tell nobody.
10:26Well, let's hear what you have to say first.
10:28His name is Boris.
10:30His marinero.
10:31Marinero?
10:32Si.
10:36Oh, a sailor.
10:37Sailor.
10:38Last night, he came in bar where I work.
10:41He's Russian.
10:42Russian?
10:42Si.
10:43You mean he was in a hurry?
10:44No, no.
10:45He's Russian from Russia.
10:48Oh.
10:49Sailor?
10:50A Russian sailor?
10:51Si.
10:52We drink vodka.
10:54Si, vodka.
10:55And he asked me for mental home.
10:58Asked you for what?
10:59He say, no go back, Russia.
11:01Ask me for mental home.
11:03Casa de loco.
11:06Asylum.
11:06Political asylum.
11:07Si, si.
11:10He's a defector.
11:11No, no, no, he's Rucci.
11:15You know that he'll take him back, eh?
11:17Oh, no, of course not.
11:18This is a free country.
11:19If he wants to stay here, he's perfectly at liberty to do so.
11:22Welcome to England, comrade.
11:24Let's go.
11:24Last night.
11:25Thank you, sir.
11:25Thank you, sir.
11:26Thank you, sir.
11:27Thank you, sir.
11:28What do you want?
11:53You're supposed to be studying the books.
11:56Who says so?
11:56I say so.
11:58Yeah?
11:59Look, professor has put me in charge.
12:02You've got to do what I tell you.
12:04Now, I'm going to ask you the questions,
12:07and you're going to give me the answers.
12:09Okey-cokey.
12:11Ali.
12:13Yes, please.
12:15What is Nauna?
12:17Oh, blimey.
12:18It is very simple.
12:19Nauna is a lady who is...
12:21Nauna!
12:22Hey, Jamila.
12:24What's the plural of a thief?
12:28Huh?
12:29The plural of a thief.
12:31A thief.
12:33Robbers.
12:35No.
12:36No, no, no.
12:37Not robbers.
12:38Ah.
12:39Look.
12:40These are robbers.
12:41They are one thief, two...
12:42Thieves.
12:43That's better.
12:44Max.
12:45What's the opposite of bitter?
12:46Lotta.
12:47That's not right.
12:48Sure it is.
12:49Opposite of bitter money is lotta money.
12:51Quiet.
12:52Quiet.
12:53Please.
12:54Silencio.
12:55Thank you, Giovanni.
12:56You can sit down.
12:57Ah, Juan, I think it might be a good idea if Boris sat next to you.
13:00Eh.
13:01Aye, vamos.
13:02For your general information, Boris is from Russia.
13:06Ah.
13:07Much better he sit next me, rather than representative of capitalist philosophy.
13:09Oh, sorry to disappoint you, Sue Lee, but Boris has decided to change horses.
13:13Oh, blimey.
13:14Is he a Russian cowboy?
13:15No, Ali, I mean that he's decided that he prefers our democratic way of life to the Russian regime.
13:20He's a defector.
13:21He's a traitor.
13:22But a Ling Russian embassy.
13:23That will do no such things.
13:24What's that next to you?
13:25What's that next to you?
13:26Eh.
13:27Aye, vamos.
13:28For your general information, Boris is from Russia.
13:30Ah.
13:31Much better he sit next me, rather than representative of capitalist philosophy.
13:33Oh, sorry to disappoint you, Sue Lee, but Boris has decided to change horses.
13:36Oh, blimey.
13:37Is he a Russian cowboy?
13:38No, Ali, I mean that he's decided that he prefers our democratic way of life to the Russian regime.
13:41He's a defector.
13:42Well, you do no such thing, Sue Lee.
13:44Boris has made his decision, and after the class, Miss Courtney will inform the Home Office,
13:47who will then decide whether he can stay.
13:49Why he wish to reflush up?
13:51Well, I haven't the faintest idea.
13:52Hey, maybe he's a spy.
13:55Yeah.
13:56A double agent.
13:57Maybe Sue Lee is right.
13:58We send him back where he came from.
14:00He should be interrogated.
14:02He's the...
14:03Shut down, everybody.
14:04Quiet, please.
14:05Sit down.
14:06I'm sure that Boris has a perfectly good reason for wishing to remain here.
14:09Boris?
14:10Dada.
14:11Ah?
14:12Would you come out here, please?
14:13Oui, oui.
14:14Oui, oui.
14:15Oui, oui.
14:16Juan?
14:17Oui.
14:18Does Boris speak any English?
14:19Ah, I teach him a little.
14:20Oh, good.
14:21Why do you wish to leave Russia?
14:23Por favor.
14:24I see you speak English as well as Juan does.
14:25Huh?
14:26It's all right.
14:27Why do you wish to leave Russia?
14:28I don't know.
14:29Well, come over here.
14:30Russia?
14:31Dada.
14:32England?
14:33Dada.
14:34Why do you leave Russia to stay in England?
14:44Dada.
14:45Dada.
14:46Dada.
14:47Dada.
14:48Dada.
14:49Dada.
14:50Dada.
14:51Dada.
14:52Dada.
14:53Dada.
14:54Dada.
14:55Dada.
14:56Dada.
14:57Dada.
14:58ah a woman
15:08is this true one
15:11last night in bar
15:13he meets beautiful girl
15:15he has fallen how you say
15:17heels over head
15:19head over heels
15:21oh well thank you Boris
15:23you can sit down
15:24sit down
15:26well Sully I'm sure even you wouldn't wish to stand
15:33in the way of true love
15:34true love should be for state not individual
15:36yes well not this side of the iron curtain
15:39now where were we up to in the alphabet
15:41which letter have we got to
15:43P
15:43well then suppose you give me a word beginning with P
15:46plopaganda
15:47as used by decadent western world
15:51to splat rise about growly as peace
15:53rubbing Chinese
15:54Sully do you have to make a political speech every time you answer a question
15:59yes
15:59chairman Mao he say
16:01it is duty of those who can see
16:03to guide Brian to write off clues
16:06the eight points for attention are as follows
16:08do not damage clots
16:10do not take ribbities with women
16:12do not take ribbities with women
16:17Ali
16:18will you give me a word beginning with Q
16:20Q
16:22yes
16:23go on
16:24Q
16:26yes
16:26come on
16:27Q
16:28Ali will you give me a word beginning with the letter Q
16:31Oh blimey, I'm giving it to you three times already.
16:35Q, like bus, stop, Q.
16:38Oh, I'm sorry. Well done.
16:41Taro, R.
16:43Awesome.
16:45Radial.
16:47Good. Ranjit, S.
16:49Eskimo.
16:51Eskimo begins with an E.
16:54Thousand apologies.
16:56Think of a word that describes you.
16:58Stupid.
17:00Don't you call me stupid.
17:02You half-heated Pakistani poppadam.
17:04Don't you call me Pakistani poppadam, you browned-off chapati.
17:07All right, that'll do. Sit down, both of you.
17:10Juan, tea.
17:12Por favor.
17:13Tea.
17:14Ha. Tea.
17:18No, no, no, Juan. I don't mean it's time for the tea break.
17:22Eh, por favor.
17:23Never mind. Sit down.
17:25No, but.
17:26Excuse me, Mr. Brown.
17:27Ah, what is it this time, Gladys?
17:29There's another one turned up.
17:31Another what?
17:32A rusky.
17:33I've shown him into Miss Courtney's office.
17:35I am Captain Yvonne Yvonne.
17:39Are you?
17:40Da.
17:41And you are Mrs.
17:42I am Miss Courtney.
17:46A fine woman like you has no husband?
17:49No.
17:50Ah, I am understanding.
17:52You prefer to have the lovers.
17:54Certainly not.
17:55Now, will you please get to the point?
17:59I have reason to believe that one of my men is here.
18:03Really?
18:04Oh, come, Mrs. Courtney.
18:05Miss.
18:06Miss.
18:07Miss.
18:08Miss.
18:09We both know he's here.
18:10He must come back to the ship and return to Russia.
18:13That is for him to decide.
18:16Enter.
18:17Wish to see me, Miss Courtney?
18:19This is Captain Yvonne Ivanovitch.
18:21Mr. Brown, our English teacher.
18:23How are you doing?
18:24Yes.
18:25Very well, thank you.
18:27I welcome you to England.
18:28You and your compatriot are perfectly safe here.
18:31Don't have to go back to Russia if you don't want to.
18:35Mr. Brown.
18:36Yes?
18:37The captain has no wish to stay here.
18:39He has come to take back the other person.
18:42Ah, but you can't do that.
18:44Why not?
18:45Well, he doesn't want to go back.
18:46He's met this girl, you see, and they want to get married.
18:48No, it's impossible.
18:49We are only being here for the one night.
18:51Yeah, well, it was love at first sight.
18:53No, peoples do not fall in love at first sight.
18:57Yes, peoples do.
18:58I tell you, he cannot be getting an English wife.
19:01Why not?
19:02Because he already has a Russian one.
19:05I'm not saying that he's already married.
19:08To Anastasiev.
19:09Well, this puts an entirely different complexion on the matter.
19:12I'm afraid we have no alternative but to return your roving shipmate.
19:17Will you see to it, Mr. Brown?
19:19Very well.
19:25You are a woman of great perception as well as being beautiful.
19:31Oh, thank you.
19:33You are reminding me so much of your great national figure.
19:37Oh, yes.
19:38People have said I resemble the Queen.
19:40Yeah, yeah, yeah.
19:41No, no.
19:42Not the Queen.
19:44British Bulldog.
19:45Okay.
19:46Juan, I ask you the question.
19:51What is the name for a group of cows?
19:54Por favor.
19:55Hey, come on.
19:56You know what I'm saying.
19:57You might fool Professor, you're not fool me, huh?
20:00Now, what's the name for a group of cows?
20:03I don't know.
20:05A herd of cows.
20:06For favor?
20:07Heard of cows.
20:08Sure I heard of cows.
20:09Santa Maria, a herd of cows is a lot of cows.
20:11And you speak a lot of bull.
20:12Thank you, Giovanni.
20:13Thank goodness you're back.
20:14I tell you, Professor, I don't know how you put up with all these foreigners.
20:27Boris.
20:28Da-da.
20:29Yeah, well, there's a set of friend of yours outside.
20:30He's waiting to take you back to the ship.
20:31Captain Ivanovich.
20:32Nyet, nyet.
20:33Yeah, not nyet, nyet.
20:34Da-da.
20:35He's told me all about Anastasia.
20:36Anastasia.
20:37For your general information, Anastasia is Boris's wife back in Russia.
20:40Oh, the randy old Cossack.
20:42You will permit me, Mr. Brown?
20:43All yours, captain?
20:44Boris, Boris, of it.
20:46Gullubchik.
20:47He's a flyer.
20:48I told you, it's a flyer.
20:49I'm so sorry.
20:50Good thing to see you.
20:51You will be with me, Mr. Brown.
20:52All yours, Captain.
20:53Boris, Boris, of it.
20:55Galubchik.
20:56I'll wait to see you tomorrow.
21:00Take care.
21:01And every day.
21:02I'm so sorry, sorry.
21:03I'm sorry, I'll wait to see you tomorrow.
21:05What about Anastasia?
21:06Anastasia?
21:07For your general information, Anastasia is Boris' wife back in Russia.
21:09What's that?
21:10You wish to meet me, Mr. Brown?
21:11Come along, pay attention. We've had enough endroptions for one evening.
21:25Which letter in the alphabet were we up to?
21:26Ah, me, te, ti.
21:29Good. Where one?
21:30Tabaco.
21:32Tabaco, good.
21:33Uh, Max, you.
21:36Me?
21:36No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, the letter, you.
21:40Umbrella.
21:40Yes, good, but not hum-brella. Umbrella.
21:45Hockey.
21:48Anna, V.
21:49Vent.
21:50Vent? Yes, good, as in air-vent.
21:52Nein, as in I vent to wash my hands.
21:55No, Anna, those words begin with W. I want a word beginning with V.
22:00What instrument does Yehudi Menuhin play?
22:03A fiddle.
22:03Oh, a violin.
22:07Violin, natürlich, ja.
22:09Good.
22:11Uh, Danielle, W.
22:14W for what?
22:16Good.
22:16W for when?
22:18Oh.
22:18I only wanted one word, Danielle.
22:23Excuse me, Mr. Brown.
22:24What is it this time, Gladys?
22:26He's back.
22:26Who's back?
22:28Ivan the Terrible.
22:31Wants to see you.
22:33Giovanni, would you...
22:34Captain, you wanted to see me?
22:39Yes, Mr. Brown, could I please have a word with you?
22:42Yes, quite.
22:43Yes, well, yes, well, yes, well, yes, well, yes, well, yes, well, yes, well, yes, yes, please.
22:47Will you please speak on my behalf, please?
22:50Will you do this one thing for me?
22:51Well, please.
22:52Right, yes.
22:52Please leave it to me.
22:53Thank you, Mr. Brown, thank you.
22:57Enter.
22:58Miss Courtney, we've got a bit of a problem.
23:01Captain Ivanovich is outside.
23:03Oh, don't tell me his compatriot has escaped.
23:05Oh, no, Boris is safely on his way back to the ship.
23:07Well, then why has the captain returned?
23:09Well, he wants to defect.
23:10You see, he says, like Boris, that he's fallen heels over head in love.
23:14Oh, these foreigners are impossible.
23:16Why, tell him to go away.
23:18His infatuations have nothing to do with us.
23:20Well, I'm afraid this one has, you see.
23:22He says, er, he's fallen in love with you.
23:28My little English bulldog.
23:32You must love me.
23:34I am loving you, Mrs. Grantley.
23:37Miss, Miss, Miss, Miss, Miss.
23:40Miss, Miss, Miss, Miss.
24:10Miss, Miss, Miss, Miss, Miss.
24:40Miss, Miss, Miss, Miss, Miss, Miss.
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