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00:00I'm Danny Dyer and I'm in El Street on one of the most depraved shows on the
00:11television a league of their art now I've met gangsters I've met bare knuckle
00:16boxers and drug dealers but nothing's prepared me for the low-life scum on this
00:20show so we got the muscle one of the old boys how long you been doing it for
00:27this is actually the 19 series a 19 stretch yeah the northern cycle and then
00:34there's this fellow and all I don't know if he knows what show he's on I think he
00:38thinks he's filming narcos or something like that
00:41the drugs involved well I mean I had a couple of paracetamol today but it's
00:45just jamming his pills I'll be all right around here wouldn't you yeah it was the
00:49studio and I'm gonna be on the show as well today so let's have it
00:57the blues is a man who loves West Ham so much he's letting their captain marry his
01:10daughter leave it at you slags is Sandy Dyer
01:22Sandy Dyer
01:25and alongside Jamie Redknapp on the red team is an Arsenal fan who made the name for himself in his hard-hitting political satire not really it's the guy with the big teeth it's Rob Beckett
01:29come on
01:36you have come on the right night because joining the reds is a very special guest
01:44he's a Euros and Champions League winner and once set a record by having 191 touches in a game still less than I plan on touching him tonight it's Arsenal midfielder Jorginho
01:51he's
01:54he's
01:56he's a
01:58come on the right night because joining the reds is a very special guest
01:59he's a Euros and Champions League winner and once set a record by having 191 touches in a game still less than I plan on touching him tonight it's Arsenal midfielder Jorginho
02:06The midfielder, Jorgenia!
02:36Romesh, sit down, please. Stop being so thirsty.
02:41It's so good to have you here, Jorgenia.
02:43It feels a bit weird calling you Jorgenio throughout the show,
02:46but I just feel like I'm a commentator.
02:47What is your actual full name?
02:49Jorge Luis Frello Filho. Long name.
02:51Yeah, OK, we do Jorgenio.
02:55Jorgy. Let's go for Jorgy.
02:57Tell me, what is it like playing for the greatest club in the world,
03:00the mighty, mighty Arsenal?
03:02You make out this big Arsenal fan as well.
03:05He is gone.
03:06He's up in those corporate boxes with a prawn sandwich brigade.
03:09So he's not?
03:10He leaves after 80 minutes.
03:11He ain't even there when you come on.
03:12Oh.
03:18Oh, he's gone early.
03:19Thank you, Jamie.
03:20Thank you very much.
03:23Now, Rob, Jorgenio is nicknamed the Professor
03:25because of his football intelligence.
03:27Have you ever had a nickname?
03:29When I used to play football, I was called the Rhino.
03:32Because I was really fat.
03:35And I just plough through the other team.
03:37OK.
03:38What are you looking down there for?
03:39What can I say?
03:40No, I've seen your little finger down there.
03:41Yeah, no, this is a sit show.
03:42I don't know if someone's winding me up.
03:43Why?
03:44Right, sometimes they give you, like, a little bottle of water
03:46or a little pack of sweets to keep the energy up during the show.
03:48See what I've got down there?
03:49It's a full tuck shop.
03:50That's kind of trolling that.
03:53Now, Danny, in the interest of balance, let's talk about West Ham.
03:58Yes.
03:59Now, your future son in old Jarrod Bowen is also a great player.
04:01Yep.
04:02Could you ever see him in the future moving to a big club like Arsenal?
04:05Yeah.
04:06Why would he go?
04:07Because Saka is his nemesis, isn't he?
04:09Saka's his nemesis?
04:10Well, Saka keeps him out of the England squad.
04:12Yeah.
04:13And I think it's a myth that Saka's better than Jarrod Bowen.
04:16To be honest with you, you are slightly biased.
04:18Well, slightly.
04:19I mean, he is the father of my grandchildren, but...
04:22He's family.
04:23I just think he's as good as him, if not better.
04:26How did Jarrod and little Danny meet?
04:28She moved into a gaff and Jarrod Bowen was living next door
04:32because he'd just been bought by West Ham.
04:34So he'd moved down with his best mate.
04:35I was very excited by all this.
04:36We went on holiday and she went,
04:39Dad, Jarrod Bowen's just DM'd me.
04:41And I said, well, fucking DM him back.
04:46Well, she want news?
04:47I said, well, she...
04:48I'm joking.
04:49That's fucking joking.
04:51So, anyway...
04:53So, anyway, for the rest of the holidays,
04:55she's got this sort of little gummy look on her face,
04:57sort of texting him and all that, all sweet.
04:59And then when we got back from the holiday,
05:00he took her out.
05:01Aw.
05:02It is a beautiful love story.
05:03Oh, that is...
05:04Oh, wow.
05:09That's all we want.
05:10It's someone to, you know, love your daughter proper
05:13and look after him and all that.
05:14But the fact is, he's the captain of West Ham as well.
05:16So...
05:17It's the dream, isn't it, Dan?
05:18What's a fucking result, honestly?
05:20So...
05:21Honestly.
05:23Dan, what's he like as a...
05:24Like, obviously, being family, what's he like?
05:26He's the bollocks.
05:27Is he, yeah?
05:28Yes.
05:29I love him.
05:30Dearly.
05:31As son-in-laws go, it's as good as it gets.
05:32Well, if I die tomorrow, it don't matter.
05:33I've completed the son-in-law thing.
05:35Yeah.
05:36I feel sorry for my other daughter
05:37because there's no fucking boys you can then bring home
05:39that's ever going to match.
05:40No.
05:42The fact that this son-in-law got the winning goal
05:44in a fucking European Cup final.
05:46Don't say it's a shit trophy.
05:48For me, I don't know.
05:49Now, before we move on, Georgina,
05:51I believe you've brought something along with you.
05:53Yes.
05:54We brought some presents for the guests.
05:57Oh, what a guy.
05:58I've heard.
05:59He's the best, isn't he?
06:00Oh, is that for me?
06:01Oh, thank you, Georgina.
06:02Just so you're up.
06:03Oh, thank you.
06:04OK.
06:05Cheers.
06:06What a guy.
06:07And this is...
06:08What are you, Danny?
06:09It's a son-in-show!
06:11Not me!
06:16Not me!
06:17Open up!
06:18It's lovely!
06:20Does that work for you, Quid?
06:22Yeah.
06:23How do you repeat that?
06:24Let's have a look, Dan.
06:25Let's have a look.
06:26I don't want to get it out now.
06:27Come on, Dan.
06:28Get it out.
06:29Show us what it is.
06:30Come on, Dan.
06:31Get it out, Dan.
06:32It feels weird.
06:33Bit, bit, you know, bit itchy.
06:34What are you doing?
06:35Fuck off.
06:39No, no.
06:40No, thank you.
06:41Oh, that's nice.
06:42No, no, no.
06:43No, no, no.
06:44No, I appreciate that.
06:45That's lovely.
06:46Thank you very much.
06:47Can you look after that, yeah?
06:48I will do, yeah.
06:50I'm done.
06:51OK, let's crack on with round one.
06:53This question is for you, Red Team.
06:54Have a look at this.
06:55OK.
06:56We will.
06:57Switch.
06:58We have a definite voice these days.
06:59We can do everything.
07:00We can do everything.
07:01We can do everything.
07:03Wait.
07:04Yeah!
07:05We can do it!
07:06We can do it!
07:07We can do it!
07:08Wait!
07:09Woo!
07:10Yeah!
07:11We can do it!
07:13We've got a cigarette still.
07:14We've got a cigarette still.
07:16We can do it!
07:17Kaio Saka!
07:18Just what Arsenal needed!
07:19So there you saw a little chilly Kaio Saka, little legend Leah Williamson, and Danny's
07:29still a little bit annoyed his move to Arsenal, Declan Rice.
07:32Now, all three are top gunners, but I need you to match the player to their hidden talent.
07:37So, who plays the piano?
07:39Who holds their school's long jump record?
07:41And who has dreams of becoming a Hollywood actor?
07:44Georgina, this is all about Arsenal players.
07:46Which player are you closest to in the Arsenal squad, would you say?
07:50Who's your best mate?
07:51It's really hard to say only one, because we are really...
07:55Such a great squad.
07:56You're so much like unity in the team and that.
07:58Yes, yes.
08:00Now, what about Declan Rice?
08:01Danny, have you forgiven him for leaving West Ham?
08:03It's like my expert.
08:05That's how I look at him.
08:07Or my ex-fella.
08:08And he's come up to me...
08:09Thank you for that piece of description.
08:11And he's come...
08:12Well, you know, and he said...
08:13And he's basically gone, listen, I've met someone else.
08:15Not better.
08:16You know what I mean?
08:17Just...
08:18Just someone I fancy a bit more.
08:19Yeah.
08:20And here's 100 mil, just to make the... soften the blood.
08:24Now, Declan is one of the most talented players in the country,
08:27but we have found something he's not good at.
08:29Do I know you?
08:30Because you look exactly like my next girlfriend.
08:32Do you usually even love at first sight?
08:34Or shall I walk by again?
08:36Do you know what my shirt is made of?
08:38Boyfriend material.
08:40Oh, my God.
08:42I want that video.
08:44I think I watched that when I was younger than Turngear.
08:48Is this fucking video?
08:52Brilliant.
08:53Brilliant.
08:54Now, Declan has said that he's changed his pre-match diet
08:58before moving to Arsenal.
08:59For a bonus point,
09:00can anybody tell me what Declan eats before a game now?
09:04I know.
09:05You'd have to put your hand up.
09:07I liked it.
09:08Respectful.
09:09Wait.
09:10It's pancakes.
09:11Yeah.
09:12How many?
09:13Oh, I don't fucking know.
09:14I'm not there.
09:15Lots.
09:16Eight.
09:17He eats eight pancakes.
09:18Eight?
09:19Yes, but I'll give you the bonus point.
09:20American style.
09:21Yeah, pancakes.
09:22Normal pancakes.
09:23Do you have one?
09:24I love them.
09:25Do you have them?
09:26No, I don't.
09:27What do you have?
09:28Frosties.
09:29Frosties?
09:30Well, I'll tell you what.
09:31I'll tell you what the problem is at Arsenal.
09:32Frosties and pancakes before a game.
09:34Now, you're obviously a very talented footballer,
09:36but do you have any hidden talents?
09:38Uh...
09:40Is there juggling both of the hidden talents?
09:42You can juggle?
09:43Yeah.
09:44Well, coincidentally enough...
09:46LAUGHTER
09:47I've got 15 bags of Ariba here, if you'll...
09:49LAUGHTER
09:50Give it up for George Jr, everybody!
09:51Come on, George Jr!
09:52Come on, George Jr!
09:53APPLAUSE
09:54Come on, George Jr!
09:55Come on, George Jr!
09:56Come on, George Jr!
09:57CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
09:59CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
10:01CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
10:03CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
10:05Have it, yeah!
10:06George Jr!
10:07What a guy!
10:09That was great.
10:10That was great.
10:11He's a player.
10:12That was great.
10:13Thank you, mate.
10:14Huh?
10:15No, I can't.
10:16I can't.
10:17I can't.
10:18I can't.
10:19I can't keep my eyes on all the different balls.
10:20He can see...
10:21He can see five at once.
10:22LAUGHTER
10:23I'm gonna give you a bonus point for that, Virginia.
10:24Yes!
10:25What?
10:26For juggling, he gets a point?
10:27You do it, then.
10:28Gio, if you've got a hidden talent that you can demonstrate,
10:30I'll give you a bonus point.
10:31Well, yeah, but you're not gonna have, like, a bike here, are you?
10:34What is the talent?
10:35Obviously, a bike.
10:36The talent is a bike?
10:37Well...
10:38LAUGHTER
10:44Wow.
10:45So, I can do a little trick, but...
10:47You can do a little trick?
10:48Yeah, so do I get a point?
10:49Funny enough you say that.
10:50Oh, no.
10:51We've actually got a bike here.
10:52Give it up for Jill Scott, everybody!
10:54Come on, Jill.
10:55Come on, Jill.
10:56Come on, Jill.
10:57Come on, Jill.
10:58Come on, Jill.
10:59Now, there should be a helmet there, not Jade, but there's one under your desk.
11:02Can I just say this was 25 years ago?
11:06Yes, you can.
11:07OK.
11:08Can you tell us what you were gonna attempt to do, Jill, first?
11:10Well, I'll try and do a jump.
11:12OK.
11:13And then, like, a little thing I used to be able to do.
11:16I was 12.
11:17You're good on BMXies, though.
11:20Remember we did that when we did BMXies?
11:22You broke your wrist.
11:24He broke his wrist!
11:26Do you know what?
11:27Do you know what?
11:28It was the worst thing, because I broke my wrist.
11:30I broke that wrist.
11:31I dislocated that thumb.
11:32Oh, great.
11:33I phoned Lisa.
11:34I said, for the next two weeks, you're gonna have to wipe my arse for me.
11:37Yeah, I wish I had that job.
11:39I had to wank him off.
11:48OK, Jill, you ready?
11:50I'm so nervous.
11:51I feel more nervous than the Eurospinal.
11:53Are you bigger than I thought, or is that too small for you?
11:55What's going on with that bike?
11:56It's a tiny one.
11:57Is that how small it is?
11:58It's the same bike she is when she was 12.
12:00OK, do you win it?
12:01Probably like when you put your penis in a big hand.
12:04Sorry, I'm off.
12:06I'm off.
12:07Good job, Jill!
12:09Hey!
12:10Woo!
12:11Here we go.
12:12Woo!
12:13Woo!
12:14Well done.
12:16Jill Scott, everybody!
12:18That goes, Jill.
12:19That goes, Jill.
12:20That goes, Jill.
12:21That goes.
12:22Anybody else got a hidden talent that they want to demonstrate?
12:24Mix?
12:25No.
12:26I used to be able to do a backflip 20 years ago.
12:29OK.
12:30But I'm not doing it here.
12:31Plus, you've got no mats or anything, so...
12:32Oh, yes, we do.
12:33Bring out the mats, please!
12:34Oh!
12:35Oh, big, oh, yeah, yeah!
12:36I can't backflip!
12:37This is a wow, this.
12:38If you pose this, so...
12:39Oh, this could go horribly wrong.
12:40You're a lot heavier than 20 years ago.
12:41Oh, wow!
12:42Like, double...
12:43Four stone heavier.
12:44Wow.
12:45OK, so Meex, you're going to do a backflip?
12:46No, I'm not going to do a backflip.
12:47No, I'm not going to do a backflip.
12:48I'm not going to do a backflip.
12:49I'm going to do a backflip.
12:50I'm not going to do a backflip.
12:51I'm going to do a backflip.
12:52I'll do a capflip.
12:53I'll do a capflip.
12:54I'll do a capflip.
12:56Like double fall stone heavier Wow, okay, so makes you gonna do a backflip
13:02I'm not gonna do a backflip. I'll do a cartwheel. Okay. I didn't want to see me do a cartwheel
13:09Jesus Christ you really lowered their expectations. All right makes give it up for Michael Richards everybody
13:18Me how much am I insured for makes can I ask you a question as a school kid unique your trousers from going tight?
13:26Well, there are shops for bigger guys
13:29He's coming for you tonight. Oh, I'm getting it all okay. Oh, we've not practiced this is I expect anything
13:52Wow
13:55Oh
14:01What rich him I need an answer for me, please who plays piano who holds their schools long jump record and who wants to be a Hollywood actor?
14:09Georgie, I remember reading. I think anyway that Saka plays the piano
14:15First of all, I can tell you that's probably not right. You don't remember reading. I
14:18I
14:20Think his neck is it Oh, Declan plays his piano
14:22Declan's piano
14:24Okay, Leah Williamson has got long legs. I think she could be the the
14:30She's got long legs. She's got long fingers. She might be good at piano
14:32Oh
14:34What was the last one? Hollywood actor wants to be a Hollywood actor
14:38Come on. You're in the dressing room with these guys. You've got home. Hopefully not with Leah
14:41The inside
14:42Oh
14:43Saka, Hollywood actor
14:45Well
14:46This is pretty special a little bit of inside information
14:49I can tell you that Saka holds his schools long jump record
14:53Leah Williamson plays piano and Declan Rice wants to be a Hollywood actor
14:57You're supposed to be a Hollywood actor
14:58Yeah
14:59Joking!
15:01I swear
15:02I was only joking a minute ago and I had a go at ya
15:06Red team, you scored zero points
15:22Blue team, this next question is for you. Take a look at this
15:27It's just time for you to get off the ball
15:30For you to get off the ball
15:31For you to get off the ball
15:32For you to get off the ball
15:34You should be a wonderful girl
15:35It's just time for you to get off the ball
15:38Oh, the skin running!
15:40Boy, he's caught that pure
15:42What a lovely hit
15:44Yeah!
15:45Yeah!
15:46Yeah!
15:47Yeah!
15:48Yeah!
15:49Yeah!
15:50Yeah!
15:51Yeah!
15:52Yeah!
15:53Yeah!
15:54So there you saw Phil's opponents with fear, Thomas Tuchel
15:56What a career, Mikel Arteta
15:58And his father-in-law's here, Jared Bowen
16:00Now, all three are big names in football
16:03But what I want you to do is match them to their bad boy facts
16:06Okay?
16:07Who pulls players' pants down in training?
16:09Who mugged off Prince William after beating Villa?
16:11And worst of all, who forgets to do their recycling?
16:15Now I'm a bit of a bad boy myself
16:16To give you an idea of my bad boy credentials
16:18I once took a book out from the library when I was 12
16:21And I never took it back
16:29Jill, what's the baddest thing you've ever done?
16:30I'm an angel, really
16:32Like, you know, even at the supermarket when they say
16:34How many bags have you used?
16:36I, like, count, like five
16:38Whereas some people, would you just put zero?
16:41Yes
16:42Yeah
16:43So you guys put the wrong number of carry bags
16:44Baddest thing
16:46What you gonna do
16:47What you gonna do
16:48When they come for you
16:49Uh, now, Danny, you've made a career out of playing Hardman
16:52Are you a bad boy in real life?
16:54I don't think I've ever played in Hardman
16:55It's all bellocks
16:56Really?
16:57I wore a pink dressing gown in EastEnders
16:59For fucking nine years, you know what I mean?
17:01Like
17:02No, I don't think I'm an Hardman at all
17:03I think
17:04What I like to do
17:05Is
17:06Sometimes I like to go in, like, a posh hotel
17:08Like a Dolchester
17:09Go into them beautiful carsies
17:12And have a right naughty pony
17:14Really?
17:15I don't know why
17:17Give it to me
17:19I enjoy watching Jorginio listen to Danny Dyer
17:24Described having a pony in a Dorchester
17:27Just thinking he took a little horse in there
17:30So Danny, just for Jorginio's benefit
17:32Can you explain the origins of pony and what it means, please?
17:35Well, pony and trap is a crap
17:37Which comes out of your bottle
17:39Bottle and glass ass
17:41You got that Jorginio?
17:42Got it?
17:43No idea
17:44Sorry
17:45Pony and trap crap
17:46As in
17:47A crap
17:48As in shite
17:49Shit
17:50Okay
17:51Shit
17:52And then your arse
17:53Which you shit out of
17:54Okay
17:55Yes
17:56So it's a shit coming out of your arse
17:58Yeah
17:59Cool
18:00Especially after I've had a ruby
18:01Which is a ruby Murray
18:02Curry
18:03Which is a curry
18:04Okay, why did I translate that one?
18:06Yeah
18:07Yeah
18:08Absolute stereotype here
18:10You loved it in all, didn't you?
18:11Curry
18:12Curry, I know that one as well
18:14Now, the West Ham fans absolutely love Jared, don't they?
18:17Yes
18:18He's even got his own chant, have a look at this
18:20Bowie's on fire
18:21And he's marrying Danny Dyer
18:22Bowie's on fire
18:23And he's marrying Danny Dyer
18:24Bowie's on fire
18:25And he's shaking
18:26La la la la la la la la la
18:27Well he proposed didn't he over the summer so now it should be Bowie's on fire and he's marrying Danny Dyer
18:35Bowen's on fire.
18:37Bowen's on fire.
18:39And he's shagging Danny Dyer.
18:41Well, he proposed, didn't he, over the summer,
18:43so now it should be Bowen's on fire.
18:47And he's marrying Danny Dyer.
18:49Bowen's on fire.
18:51And he's marrying Danny Dyer.
18:53I don't mind the tune.
18:55I have started it off a couple of times over West Ham myself, so...
18:59I feel there's some sort of romance in it somewhere.
19:01Also, to be fair, they've got young kids now,
19:03there's no shagging going on at all.
19:05But I think it's such a compliment.
19:09He's on fire.
19:11Not actually burning, but he's fucking on fire.
19:13What could be better than that?
19:15And he's shagging Danny Dyer.
19:17So I'm just trying to compute it in my brain.
19:21That's an amazing fucking thing.
19:23Do you wish it was about you?
19:25Well, if he put it on me, I would tongue him.
19:27I'm not going to lie.
19:29Bowen's on fire.
19:31And he's tonguing Danny Dyer.
19:33Bowen's on fire.
19:35And he's tonguing Danny Dyer.
19:37Bowen's on fire.
19:39Whoa!
19:41Meeks, did any of your teammates ever dare play a prank on you?
19:45Uh, no.
19:47I may have a couple.
19:49I heard that somebody put a shit in your car.
19:51Yeah, so basically, when I was at City,
19:53some bellend, basically.
19:57You know, so you've got your boot, right?
19:59But underneath the boot, there's like tools, isn't there?
20:01Yes.
20:03So someone's shit in a bag,
20:05and put it underneath...
20:09the bit where the boot is.
20:11So I'm down there, you know, on the highway,
20:13you know what I mean?
20:15Yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:17Listening to the music, you know how it goes.
20:19It smells shit.
20:21And you know what, we've all done it.
20:23You just sort of like go...
20:25And it wasn't me.
20:27The number of times I'm out,
20:29did my armpits smell of shit?
20:31I don't think shit.
20:33And it lasted for weeks and weeks and on,
20:37and I had a punch one time,
20:39and basically I took it to the garage,
20:41and then goes out and gets the tools and all that,
20:43and there's shit everywhere.
20:45No.
20:46I just stunk the gaff out, and I still to this day,
20:48don't know who it is.
20:50Danny, has anyone ever done anything like that to you?
20:53Uh, no.
20:55I've done it to myself.
20:57I, uh...
20:59What happened? You left her shit in the boot,
21:00you can't have forgotten that.
21:01No, no, my wife, a mate had a new business,
21:04a colonic business, and I...
21:06She bullied me, I had to go...
21:08So basically what you do is you go in this gaff,
21:09you sit over a fucking bath,
21:11and you whack a tube up your arse, right?
21:13And his tube...
21:14Georgina, I'm so sorry you've come on the show.
21:16I'm sorry.
21:17Can we...
21:18Hold on, can you...
21:19Can you say that again, please?
21:20It's called a colonic.
21:21Anyway, this tube went right up my arse lovely, though.
21:23I was very...
21:24I was like, fucking hell, that's gone in easy.
21:26Right?
21:27And, uh...
21:29Anyway, I...
21:31Anyway, I got off it too early.
21:33So basically, it fills you up with water,
21:35and you just start shitting everywhere.
21:37You're sort of watching.
21:38They put jaw sticks in the room so it don't smell.
21:40So I'm doing me missus a favour,
21:41you know, I got in the fucking motor,
21:43and I'm going home and I thought,
21:44oh, no, fucking hell.
21:45I'm driving like that,
21:46and I'm trying to fucking hold it,
21:48and I've caught the lights.
21:50And then I had a moment where I've just surrendered
21:52and just shat myself in the car.
21:56And, uh...
22:00So you put it in the bag
22:01and put it in some footballer's car?
22:03John, John, lucky I had a renovation going.
22:05I had a skip, so I jumped out my motor,
22:07I took my jeans and pants off,
22:08threw them in the skip,
22:09and I walked in with me Hampton hanging out.
22:11Hampton is a Hampton wick,
22:12which is a dick.
22:13Right?
22:14LAUGHTER
22:15And, uh...
22:16I mean, missus just laughing at me and all that,
22:18and I thought,
22:19fucking, what have I become?
22:20LAUGHTER
22:22Back to Arteta.
22:23Mikel also brought in Win the Team Dog.
22:25Here she is.
22:26Jorginho, how does it work with the dog being around?
22:30Do you all get turns to look after us?
22:32It's a bit strange, isn't it?
22:34Yeah.
22:35Because we go to the physio room,
22:37Win is there, and then, you know,
22:39go to the gym, Win is there.
22:40Never happened to me before.
22:41So she's always just around the training ground?
22:43Yeah, she's always around everywhere.
22:45I actually got inspired by Mikel,
22:47so I've got a treat for you guys.
22:48So this round is all about bad boys,
22:50but I've got a couple of good boys for you.
22:52Please give it up for your brand-new team-mates!
22:54No, the dog?
22:57No, Win is.
23:00Oh!
23:05I don't like that one.
23:06We have hand-picked these dogs.
23:08Hello.
23:09That is so cute.
23:10Especially for our captains.
23:12Jill.
23:13Hello.
23:14Sisters.
23:19Are you happy with that?
23:20Are you trying to see if this looks like me?
23:22I'm not trying to say.
23:23It's quite clear for everyone to see, isn't it?
23:26Oh, it's so cute.
23:28Good boy.
23:29Jay, we got you a dog that looks like you.
23:32He's got no hair.
23:33An old leathery dog for an old leathery dog.
23:35What do you think of that?
23:36You like that?
23:37He's genuinely got no hair.
23:38He's bald.
23:39We're going to call him Pele.
23:40He's full Brazilian.
23:44We've also got these for him, Jay.
23:46Little doggy booties.
23:47Fetchers.
23:48Fetchers!
23:49Fetchers!
23:50Fetchers!
23:51Fetchers!
23:52Sit down.
23:53Sit.
23:54Oh, good girl.
23:56Jamie, do some with yours!
23:57Girl!
23:58You're just sitting there doing nothing.
24:00Just fart.
24:01It's actually just farted as well.
24:02Honestly.
24:03It's just farted.
24:06It stings.
24:07It's bald and it stings.
24:10Be honest, was that you that farted?
24:12What?
24:13It's just...
24:14Yeah, it was me because I'm nervous.
24:16Okay.
24:17Jill, do you want to tell me what answers you go for now that we've got your dogs?
24:20Just sit with it while you do that.
24:22Yeah, go on.
24:23Okay.
24:24So, blue team.
24:25Who likes pulling players' pants down in training?
24:27Who mugged off Prince William?
24:28And who forgets to recycle?
24:30Could you lock in your answers, please?
24:32So, Jared...
24:33Yeah, Jared is recycling.
24:34Is Arteta ever pulled your pants down?
24:37No.
24:38Yes, that's a fucking yes clearly.
24:40Arteta pants...
24:42Yeah, okay.
24:43Well, I can tell you, Jill, that Thomas Tuchel likes to pull players' pants down in training.
24:49Mikel Arteta mugged off Prince William.
24:51And Jared Bowen forgets to recycle.
24:53Yeah.
24:54So, you got yourselves one point.
24:56One point.
24:57We'll have that all day long.
24:59Yeah.
25:00Come on.
25:01See you later.
25:02Go on.
25:03Go!
25:04Go!
25:05That's a nutty-looking dog, isn't it, that?
25:08How well did you do?
25:09So, at the end of that round, the blue team are in the league.
25:14The next part of the show is all about this football mastermind.
25:31Yeah.
25:32Yeah.
25:38Jorginho to take the penalty.
25:44Jorginho.
25:46Jorginho puts Chelsea in front.
25:48The hop, skip and a jump, it's back.
25:52Jorginho to place one!
25:54And he's placed it magnanimously!
25:58Jorginho!
26:01Jorginho!
26:04What a goal!
26:05What a moment!
26:16Give it up for Jorginho!
26:18Jorginho!
26:22Now, Jorginho, you're Brazilian but chose to play for Italy.
26:25Was that a difficult choice?
26:27Yes and no, because when they called me, I was already in Italy.
26:32I moved to Italy when I was 15, so that was the right decision for me
26:36to represent the country who gave me everything.
26:39Yeah.
26:40How great is it that just me and you on this panel speak Italian?
26:43Let's hear some of you Italian there, man.
26:45Yeah, let's hear that.
26:46Ciao, Jorginho.
26:47Tutto bene?
26:48Tutto bene, come stai?
26:49Tutto bene, grazie.
26:50Chi altro sai dire?
26:51Non tranquillo.
26:52Tranquillo.
26:53Niente, no, no.
26:54Non sai parlare tante cose diverse?
26:56No, today, tranquillo.
26:58No, today?
26:59No, today?
27:00No, no, oggi, tranquillo.
27:01Che altro sai dire?
27:02Che altro sai dire?
27:03Excuse me?
27:04Che altro sai dire?
27:05I think he says a bellendo.
27:10What was he saying, Jorginho?
27:11Was he actually speaking?
27:12I was asking what else he can say in Italian.
27:14And what did he say?
27:15He said, today, today, today.
27:17I know all the stuff with women, you know what I mean?
27:20Bella ragazza.
27:22Bellissimo.
27:23That's for a boy, though.
27:32Hey!
27:33You don't know what I do by spare time!
27:35Don't judge me, Jorginho!
27:37No, you said, I know for girls, and then you said something for boys.
27:41So...
27:42Now, Jorginho...
27:43He's lonely out there for him.
27:44Jamie, would you have played for another country if England hadn't called you up?
27:48A couple of shades dark, he'd probably do Bangladesh.
27:50Um...
27:51I get it.
27:52Of course I get it.
27:53Because you want to represent your country.
27:54And what Georgie's done, he's going to have won a European Championships.
27:56I was lucky enough.
27:57All I wanted to do as a kid was play for my country, play for England.
27:58It's the greatest honour you could ever have to represent your country.
27:59So, no, I'm England till I die.
28:00When he was 23, he could have played for Finland.
28:01Who?
28:02Because he was finished.
28:03Oh!
28:04Oh!
28:05Wow!
28:06Wow!
28:07Wow!
28:08I'm firing shots at that, I don't care.
28:09Now, Jorginho, you've got an unusual penalty technique, haven't you?
28:12Let's have a look.
28:13And Jorginho, you've got an unusual penalty technique, haven't you?
28:15Let's have a look.
28:16And Jorginho...
28:17And Jorginho, that's his methodology.
28:18He just rolls it in.
28:19He's calm enough to let the goalkeeper commit himself.
28:21Unbelievable.
28:22Skills.
28:23Do you know what?
28:24Like, I...
28:25I...
28:26I...
28:27I...
28:28I...
28:29I...
28:30I...
28:31I...
28:32I...
28:33I...
28:34I...
28:35I...
28:36I...
28:37I...
28:38I...
28:39I...
28:40I...
28:41I...
28:42I...
28:43I...
28:44I...
28:45I...
28:46I...
28:47I had a little joke at the start of the show, but I am such a fan of his.
28:51Especially in a day and age now where the game has got a lot about athletes and strength
28:55and power.
28:56How he plays in midfield, it's genuinely...
28:58He's...
28:59The professor, he is a genius.
29:00Unbelievable.
29:01Because he's not the biggest, not the quickest or strongest.
29:02But his football brain is, like, unreal.
29:06It's true.
29:07I mean it.
29:08I mean it.
29:09And I...
29:10That was...
29:11It was a joke.
29:12And I...
29:13But genuinely, I'm a big...
29:14I've said to him before, you know, like, watching...
29:15Yeah.
29:16I mean it's a hard position.
29:17You see people run it.
29:18But he just never looks under duress.
29:20Yeah.
29:21He's a beautiful football to watch.
29:22Such a lovely compliment.
29:23He's not the biggest, not the quickest, not the strongest.
29:24LAUGHTER
29:25Uh...
29:26Now, Georginio.
29:27Georginio, how did you come up with that penalty technique?
29:29That actually came, like, after training, just from a joke.
29:33I was doing a penalty with a Brazilian defender.
29:36And then I...
29:37I did, like, natural, just joking.
29:39And then he was like, do it there tomorrow in training with the goalkeepers.
29:43And I was like, nah.
29:44And he was like, yeah, yeah, let's do it tomorrow.
29:46So the next day after training, I went with the goalkeepers.
29:50So I did it.
29:51It was so easy.
29:52They want to kill me.
29:53LAUGHTER
29:54Because, you know, the goalkeepers, especially in training, they're like,
29:57you're never gonna do that in an actual game.
29:59Yeah.
30:00You're never gonna do that.
30:01So I kept practicing during training for, like, a few weeks.
30:04And then when I felt comfortable, I started doing the game.
30:06And...
30:07Because you're the OG.
30:08Everyone now copies it.
30:09Like, Ivan Toni does it.
30:10But you're the first one to sort of have the confidence to just look at the goalkeeper,
30:14see where he goes.
30:15Yeah, at the beginning...
30:16You have to have some balls for that, though.
30:17Yeah, at the beginning, it's quite, like, intimidating, you know?
30:20Yeah.
30:21Because the pressure and you have the full stadium there.
30:25And to keep calm, to not look at the ball and look at the keeper, it's not simple.
30:30It's not easy.
30:31And then once you get used to it, it's different.
30:32I love it.
30:33It's great.
30:34Well, in honour of having a penalty specialist on the show,
30:37we are bringing back an oliga their own favourite.
30:39That's right.
30:40This is Popstar Penalties.
30:43Woo!
30:44Yes!
30:45Popstar Penalties
30:47Popstar Penalties
30:49Popstar Penalties
30:50Popstar
30:51I'm talking about
30:52Those Popstar
30:53Popstar Penalties
30:55Yeah, it's legal
30:57OK, so, Georgie, you're in goal.
31:00And Popstars are going to come out one by one and put your goalkeeping skills to the test.
31:04If they score, it's a point to the blue team.
31:06But if you save or they miss, it's a point for the reds.
31:10Right.
31:11All we need now is a Popstar.
31:15Popstar!
31:17Popstar!
31:19Let's see who's up first.
31:21Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me
31:27When I grow up
31:29I wanna be famous
31:30I wanna be a star
31:31I wanna be a movie
31:35Yes!
31:36Please welcome pussycat dog, Kimberly Royer!
31:38Don't you wish your girlfriend was hot like me
31:42Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak of me
31:45I need you
31:46Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak of me
31:48Oh!
31:49Oh!
31:50Calm down!
31:51Oh!
31:52OK.
31:53Oh!
31:54Welcome to the show, Kimberly.
31:57What are your football skills like?
31:58Well, I think we're about to find out.
32:00Oh, there he is.
32:01OK.
32:02Kimberly, get in position.
32:03Shoot when you're ready.
32:04Good luck.
32:05Come on, Kimberly!
32:06Come on!
32:07Come on, Kimberly!
32:08Come on!
32:09Come on!
32:10Do it!
32:11Yeah!
32:12Oh!
32:13Oh!
32:14Oh!
32:15Oh!
32:16Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak of me
32:19No!
32:20Don't you wish your girlfriend was a freak of me
32:23That is a point for the red team.
32:26Please give it up for Kimberly Wyatt!
32:28Oh!
32:29Oh!
32:30Well done, Kimberly.
32:31Er, I don't know about you, Rob, but I'll tell you what,
32:33I could go for another pop star!
32:35Oh, yes, please!
32:36Yeah!
32:37Pop star!
32:39You!
32:40Pop star!
32:41Let's see who's up next!
32:46Like she's playing hard to get
32:48Her brunette is such class
32:49She's hard to forget
32:50See, at first I wasn't after her heart
32:52I couldn't stop thinking about her after I left
32:58Please welcome Professor Greene!
33:01Hey!
33:02How are you doing?
33:03How are you doing, man?
33:04How are you doing?
33:05Yeah, yeah, yeah
33:06Welcome to the show, what a long long drive on
33:07Now, obviously, Professor Greene is not your...
33:08it's not your real name, is it?
33:09How are you doing?
33:14Oh, good, man. How are you doing? You all right?
33:16Yeah, yeah. Welcome to the show. What an honor to have you on.
33:18Now, obviously, Professor Green is not your real name, is it?
33:21No, it was a nickname I was given,
33:22cos I used to sell lots of... plants.
33:25LAUGHTER
33:27So, it's Professor Green versus The Professor.
33:29Take your penalty when you're ready, mate.
33:30It's The Professor off!
33:32One Professor Green!
33:35Yeah!
33:36Ooh!
33:40Oh!
33:44Unlock it.
33:45That's a point for The Professor. Give it up for Professor Green!
33:48CHEERING
33:49Well done. Well done.
33:51I don't know.
33:53Is anyone still peckish for another pop star?
33:56Yeah!
33:59Pop star!
34:00Woo!
34:02Pop star!
34:03Let's see who's next.
34:05Don't stop moving
34:08Can you feel the music?
34:10DJ's got us going around
34:13CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:17Please welcome, Bradley from X-Cloud!
34:20CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:23CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:26CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:30How are you doing, brother?
34:31How are you doing, brother?
34:32Bradley, thank you so much for coming on the show.
34:35Thanks for having me.
34:36Now, who do you support?
34:37Arsenal.
34:38CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
34:40This is a joke!
34:41By the way, tell me, what are you taking skills like?
34:44Well, you know what?
34:45I've been here before, and I miss before,
34:47so I'm here to redeem myself, so...
34:49OK, well, good luck.
34:50Come on, Bradley.
34:51Listen, mate, my advice, just reach for the stars.
34:53LAUGHTER
34:54OK, good luck.
34:55Like that.
34:56It's it!
34:57LAUGHTER
34:58Oh, yes, George, yes, Jorginho!
35:04Fine luck, Bradley.
35:05Please give it up to Bradley from X-Cloud!
35:08Good to see you, Nick.
35:09Good to see you.
35:11Now, Meeks, apparently you want to take a penalty,
35:13is that right?
35:14No, I want to go in there.
35:15You want to go in there?
35:16Yeah, Jorginho's technique.
35:17Oh, Jorginho?
35:18Are you up for this?
35:19Michael wants to go in goal against one of your special penalties.
35:22Is that good?
35:23OK.
35:24Come on, Jorginho!
35:25Come on, Jorginho!
35:26Go on, Jorginho, give him space, give him space.
35:33Do we get a point?
35:34You know the feeling?
35:35Come on, Jorginho.
35:36Come on, Jorginho.
35:37Come on, Michael, Jorginho!
35:38Don't fall for it.
35:39Oh!
35:40Oh!
35:41Oh!
35:42Oh!
35:43Oh!
35:44Oh!
35:45Oh!
35:46Oh!
35:47Oh!
35:48Oh!
35:49Oh!
35:50Oh!
35:52Oh!
35:53Oh!
35:54Oh!
35:55Oh!
35:56Oh!
35:56Oh!
35:57Oh!
35:58Oh!
35:59Oh!
36:00Oh!
36:01Oh!
36:02Oh!
36:03Oh!
36:04Oh!
36:05Oh!
36:06Oh!
36:07Oh!
36:08Oh!
36:09Oh!
36:10Oh!
36:11Oh!
36:12Oh!
36:13Oh!
36:14Oh!
36:15Oh!
36:16Oh!
36:17Oh!
36:18Oh!
36:19Oh!
36:20Oh!
36:21Oh!
36:22Oh!
36:23Oh!
36:24Oh!
36:25determined by how quickly the other team can complete a sporting challenge and in honor of
36:30having georginio here who's done a lot of this in his time we've come up with an extra special game
36:35this is trophy lift
36:45we're taking lifting trophies to a whole new level and because winning a title is like walking a
36:49tightrope one player from each team will commando crawl across this wire to the trophy lift platform
36:54before taking a triumphant leap to grab the trophy winning three bonus points for their team uh
37:00danny's ambition danny you feeling good wonderful wonderful okay i read once that you've got one
37:07massive testicle is that true yes what one massive one small you've got testicles like my eyes
37:14yes funny enough i looked in your eyes and it reminded me of my bollocks
37:18that's the reason they're doing it that high any lower it'll drag across the floor
37:25okay red team you are going to be answering questions first your time starts when you
37:29hear the whistle and you have until danny lifts the trophy to answer how are you heights danny
37:35okay i thought i was all right but now i'm up here i'm fucking sitting myself
37:38right right give it up for danny die you're going to absolutely smash this danny
37:45danny die is ready your time starts now which trophy was stolen before england won it in 1960
37:54george of eight yeah which manager did tucco take over from a borussia dortmund in 2015
37:59pop yes who has one more trophies jill scott or michael richard jill scott yes which european
38:06competition that's not as good as a champions league or the european league did west ham
38:10conference league yeah which team did roberto mancini play for in the premier league
38:16yes what is heavier the premier league trophy or the champions league
38:21no which player scored italy's equalizer in the euro 2021 yes which arsenal player has won the premier
38:28league golden boot four times in right a rate yes which of micah's old teams in west ham
38:35beat to win the european conference league yes how many european championships of italy won three
38:46two yes who are the only premier league club to receive a gold trophy arsenal invisible yes in golf
38:55what trophy did europe beat the us two in rome in 2023 have a look at him
39:09what's an absolute legend danny dyer everybody
39:21that's fucking hard danny what happened what happened me bollock he's well 12 years we
39:25follow me bollock said no so i had to roll off it but if you if you come off it you're fucked
39:34it does look pretty bit it looks swollen it's one can i touch it
39:40fuck it fuck it you know it's actually swollen is that it there's your you got small nuts james yes
39:48you might stand out the chance uh well let's look back at how you got on while jamie gets in position
39:54i can't do it no you're not so big fine uh jay how you feeling babe i feel rough mate i feel a bit sick
40:07i don't even lie and i might it might be sick just be careful there guys uh okay
40:13run can you give me just need a bit of bad boy listen you ready yeah
40:23i was just gonna ask one more time you've definitely got me in you
40:27thank you right foot over the rope left leg dangle yeah that's bollocks that because that didn't
40:31fucking work mate okay blue team now it's your time to answer questions
40:37fucking hell good luck jamie your time starts now which country has won the world cup the most
40:46time yes how much did arsenal pay chelsea for georginio 15 mil like 12 yes how many times have
40:54west hand lifted the premier league trophy never no god who has won the champions league more times
41:02georginio or west ham yeah which club has georginio made the most appearances for
41:08chelsea which club did west hand sign jared barren from home yes often referred to as upton park
41:15what is the name of west hand's old stadium old stadium uh yes which trophy did jamie redknapp win in 95.
41:22if i come no it was a league club yes which what was the first part of georginio's former italy manager mancini
41:29some boy uh uh quarantine uh martina yeah which club did chelsea by georginio
41:36for yes what position did tuchel primarily playing as a player defense yes which scottish
41:45team did michael arteta play for uh rangers yes yes jimmy come on jimmy what color is gunasaurus rex
41:52green yes yes we didn't go in the final for the lionesses in the u.s final in 2022
41:59yes i'm one of our questions jamie redknapp get me on jamie redknapp everybody
42:04come on jimmy
42:06jump come on jimmy
42:20oh
42:34We are the child of the blue and the blue and the blue.
42:41So that means that tonight's winners are the Red Team.
42:43Well done, you'll be watching the League of the Reds on Sky.
42:46I'll see you next time tonight.
43:04I'll see you next time.
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