00:00Kim, ah, 33 days after we lost Eman.
00:11Kumusta ka?
00:13Ah, okay ako ngayon, boy.
00:16It comes and goes, eh.
00:17May mga araw na hindi ako okay.
00:18May mga araw na okay ako.
00:20Kumbaga, yung grief kasi parang ambush yan eh.
00:22Ngayon okay ako.
00:24Bigla nang may maaalala ko.
00:25Na ginawa namin ni Eman.
00:27Maaalala ko yung mukha ni Eman.
00:28Or something that reminds me of Eman.
00:29It reminds me of Eman.
00:30And then it attacks you.
00:32But…
00:33Do you use a word?
00:34Ina-ambush ka?
00:35Grief ambush.
00:36Ina-ambush ka.
00:37Okay.
00:38Sabi nga nila it comes in waves eh.
00:39Hindi naman siya yung porke kunyari isang taon mo nang na…
00:42Hindi makakalimutan eh.
00:43My grief will stay with me all my life.
00:46But I will learn to walk hand in hand with it.
00:49And use the energy for Eman.
00:52Construct creatively.
00:54Creatively.
00:55I'm also back to work.
00:57Kaya nandito na ako yun.
00:59Bumalik na ako sa Tik Tok Lak last week.
01:01Bumalik na ako sa 24.
01:03Dami mong alam Kuya Kim.
01:05The routine kasi helps me.
01:07Not to mask the grief.
01:09But it keeps me…
01:10Your routine is important eh.
01:12Para hindi mo masyadong…
01:14Pag nag-iisa kasi ako, ang dami ko naaalala.
01:17Napakahirap mag-isa.
01:18Boy.
01:19Yeah.
01:20Feli.
01:21Feli is very…
01:22Eliana, Jose.
01:23Yeah.
01:24Eman is the one who looks most like me.
01:26Most like Feli.
01:27Kamuha ni Feli.
01:28Pero she is the most like me.
01:30She's very emotional.
01:31Very creative.
01:33Very impulsive.
01:35Feli.
01:36Very rational yan.
01:37She's able to rationalize.
01:40And very poised.
01:42Yung dalawang anak ko.
01:43Jose at Eliana.
01:44They look like me.
01:45But they're very much like their mom.
01:47Ayan.
01:48So…
01:49Iba.
01:50Ibang grief nila.
01:51Ibang grief ko.
01:52Mas emotional ako.
01:53Sila mas rational.
01:54And very poised.
01:56I don't know if this makes sense.
01:59But…
02:00Conscious ka ba that…
02:01Whether you like it or not.
02:03Whether I like it or not.
02:04We have to move.
02:06Oh yeah.
02:07We have to move forward.
02:09I mean but…
02:10You have to be mobile.
02:11Yeah.
02:12That's what you said.
02:13That's why you went back to work.
02:15Yes.
02:16You really need to go back to work.
02:17You just have to keep your moving.
02:18When I'm…
02:19The worst times for me
02:21Is when I wake up in the house.
02:22Because my house is the same
02:24As when Eman was alive.
02:25Nandun pa yung amoy niya.
02:27Nandun pa yung mga damit niya.
02:28Nandun pa yung gamit niya.
02:29Nandun pa yung gamit niya.
02:30When I'm alone in the house
02:31That's the most dreadful thing that I can do.
02:33And I look forward to coming home to the house
02:36With Feli there.
02:37Because I'm able to grieve with Feli eh.
02:39Nakakapagusap kami about Eman.
02:41And I'm able to project my love for Eman to Feli.
02:46And si Jose umuwi rin eh.
02:47Galing sa America.
02:48So nasa Pilipinas si Jose again.
02:50Galing sa Agued.
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