00:00 I'm addicted to surrogacy.
00:02 I've been a surrogate three times,
00:03 and in total, I have received over $120,000.
00:08 People have accused me of selling my body.
00:11 I'm a (beep)
00:12 I'm selling a baby.
00:14 I'm playing God.
00:16 It's my body, my choice.
00:19 - Do you think being a surrogate
00:21 has impacted you negatively?
00:23 - Hi. - Hey, how are ya?
00:26 Welcome back everybody to Stop, Sit, Surrogate
00:28 with Kennedy and Ellen.
00:29 - Hi.
00:30 - My mom's name is Ellen,
00:31 and she was a surrogate three times as well.
00:34 So I started a podcast with my mom,
00:36 and it's just been phenomenal.
00:40 We talk about the good and the bad,
00:42 and we've both had six experiences with surrogacy,
00:45 and we've had good experiences,
00:47 and we've had not so good experiences.
00:50 - How did I inspire your surrogacy journeys?
00:52 Like what made you wanna do this?
00:54 - Your second journey.
00:55 - Oh, what was my second journey?
00:57 - When you had the triplets,
00:59 and I was like eight,
01:00 and I saw your relationship with the dads,
01:04 and they were just so loving on all of us,
01:07 and I was just drawn to them,
01:09 and I was just like, "Wait, this is so cool."
01:11 How did you feel when I told you
01:12 I was going to be a surrogate?
01:13 - Oh boy, that's mixed.
01:14 - Oh! - Yeah.
01:16 Not happy. - Oh!
01:17 - The first initial reaction was not happy
01:19 because I really flashed back in my head
01:21 and went, "My three."
01:23 Two were not good. - Sure.
01:24 - One was phenomenal, and just thought,
01:25 "Oh no, I don't want her to go through that pain."
01:27 Then as I started to think about it,
01:29 I thought, "Well, she's a single mom, right?"
01:31 - Yeah. - Got a little guy.
01:32 - Yeah. - I thought,
01:33 "What better way to change her life?"
01:34 - I had my son at 20, so when I turned 21,
01:37 my mom had said, "Hey, you qualify to be a surrogate."
01:40 And I started doing my research,
01:43 and I went online, and I Googled agencies,
01:45 and when I came across one that I liked,
01:48 then I signed up, and I met the qualifications,
01:51 and my journey began.
01:53 I did gestational surrogacy.
01:55 - I started to get on board with it,
01:57 and I started to, "All right,
01:58 "she's gonna do it here regardless, so."
02:00 - True. - "Might as well,
02:01 "maybe I can help with giving you injections."
02:03 - I know, you gave me all my injections.
02:05 (upbeat music)
02:07 - I'm hungry, can I have a snack, please?
02:09 - Sure, let's go.
02:10 Hi, Dad. - Hi, Kim.
02:14 - Are you hungry?
02:15 - Starving, actually.
02:17 - Okay.
02:17 How did you feel when I told you
02:20 that I wanted to be a surrogate?
02:22 - I brought back memories of your mother, of course.
02:25 - Well, how did you feel when Mom
02:26 wanted to be a surrogate then?
02:27 - Well, at first, I wasn't too keen on it.
02:29 - Why?
02:30 - Well, I didn't know a lot about it.
02:31 It was a new journey, and it was a new experience
02:34 that I knew nothing about,
02:35 so it was a learning curve for me.
02:38 - Okay.
02:40 - Ashley, how do you feel about Mom
02:41 and doing another surrogacy, buddy?
02:44 - It's okay.
02:45 - Can you tell me what it means to be a surrogate, buddy?
02:48 - To help other people have babies.
02:50 - Do you think being a surrogate
02:52 has impacted you negatively?
02:55 - I think being a surrogate
02:56 has not impacted my son negatively.
02:59 When I started surrogacy, my son was almost two,
03:03 so I really didn't describe the first journey to him,
03:06 and then my last journey, he was almost five,
03:09 and with that, I explained a bit more.
03:13 Mommies tell me you can't carry a baby, but mommies can,
03:16 and this isn't your brother or sister,
03:18 but we're going to help them have a baby
03:22 so that way they can go to Disneyland
03:24 and equate the things that he would do.
03:27 Are the babies that I don't keep,
03:28 are they your brother and sister?
03:30 - No.
03:31 - No, who are they?
03:32 - They are other people's babies.
03:35 - They're other people's babies.
03:36 So some positive things that have come out
03:38 of me being a surrogate is I've been able to show my son
03:41 different ways that people can have families.
03:44 - I'm just kind of curious,
03:45 how do you feel about going into this next journey
03:47 with Kennedy?
03:48 - I feel super excited to experience
03:51 for the very, very first time
03:52 what a surrogacy journey would look like,
03:54 especially with her.
03:55 - Are you nervous?
03:55 Are you scared about any of the process?
03:58 - Just the shots.
03:59 (laughing)
04:02 - So we have been together for two years
04:04 and he has not yet experienced surrogacy.
04:07 - Kennedy told me she was a surrogate on our first date.
04:11 I had no idea or anything related to surrogacy
04:14 before I met Kennedy.
04:15 So there was a ton of questions,
04:17 just her experience mainly about it, you know,
04:19 and just the process of it all.
04:22 I was really intrigued by it.
04:23 - What judgment have you had about being a surrogate?
04:26 - That I'm selling my body, I'm a (beep)
04:29 I'm selling a baby, I'm affecting my kid negatively,
04:34 I'm playing God, I shouldn't be compensated
04:38 for being a surrogate, just outrageous things
04:41 that are very uneducated.
04:43 But I can combat each one of those statements.
04:47 You know, I don't do this just for the money.
04:49 I wouldn't do this for free,
04:50 but I don't do this just for the money.
04:52 My son is not affected negatively.
04:54 I wasn't affected negatively, 'cause my mom did it.
04:57 In fact, this affected me positively, I'm a surrogate now.
05:01 I can understand how some people, if they're religious,
05:03 they think that we're playing God,
05:05 but really, you wanna do anything in this world
05:09 to be able to have your family.
05:10 And for some people, that's surrogacy.
05:13 And I'm not selling my body, my body, my choice.
05:17 So I have, over the span of, let's see, 2015 to 2021,
05:22 I have collected maternity clothes.
05:27 And they are not cheap, so I don't get rid of anything.
05:32 Surrogacy isn't all about the money.
05:35 It is the fact that both parties are helped.
05:39 Let's see, one more box.
05:41 I would say to people who think that I'm doing this
05:43 for the money to get educated.
05:45 In total, out of my three surrogacies,
05:48 I have received over $120,000.
05:51 And I was a single mom, and I was able to afford a house
05:55 in California by myself.
05:57 And that was really important to me,
05:59 to be able to still provide for my son in that way.
06:03 Like I said, I still love surrogacy,
06:05 and I was addicted to that feeling
06:07 of helping another couple grow their family.
06:09 I have a friend who makes surrogate clothes.
06:11 She's super cute, surrogate sister design.
06:15 I love it.
06:16 When I got pregnant with my son,
06:17 that's when I started collecting them.
06:20 And then as I grew on to more journeys,
06:23 you know, that leaves me with three buckets full.
06:25 So right now I'm in the process of my fourth journey.
06:30 I would say that I became addicted to the feeling
06:34 of surrogacy after I had my first surrogate baby.
06:39 When I got to see the parents meet their baby girl,
06:43 that's the feeling that I was addicted to,
06:45 and I just had to do it again.
06:46 In my fourth journey right now,
06:48 we are in the process of basically
06:52 just getting my background check done,
06:53 and then once I'm cleared, then I get to do matching.
06:56 I'm really excited.
06:57 I'm kind of sad.
06:58 It's a little bittersweet,
06:59 'cause I know that it's going to be possibly my last journey,
07:03 but I'm excited, so I'm ready to get started.
07:07 What I've loved most is being pregnant and delivery,
07:12 which sounds weird, but it's true.
07:14 Another thing is I've actually grown closer to my mom,
07:17 because we've had something else to connect over.
07:20 I've grown a huge community online with surrogates,
07:23 and we all understand each other
07:24 and are there for each other and support each other.
07:27 Hi, everybody.
07:28 So I just wanted to pop on and just let you all know
07:31 that even though it's been a year,
07:32 I finally signed with an agency,
07:34 and I am so excited to see where this journey goes.
07:38 So stay tuned and see what happens.
07:42 I've been pregnant all of my 20s,
07:44 so as excited as I am to be a surrogate,
07:47 I'm also excited to finish my family
07:50 and be done being pregnant.
07:51 It's a little bittersweet, but it's also fun
07:55 and hopefully making an impact in the surrogacy world.
07:59 (upbeat music)
08:01 (upbeat music)
08:04 (upbeat music)
08:06 (upbeat music)
08:09 (upbeat music)
08:12 [BLANK_AUDIO]
Comments