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00:00Ferocious fights, stingy castles, daring knights
00:02Horrors that defy description, cutthroat cults or bull egyptians
00:05Vicious vikings, cruel crimes, punishment from ancient times
00:07Roman, rotten, rankin' rootless, cavemen, savage, beers and tubeless
00:10Groovy Greeks, brainy sages, need a missing middle ages
00:13Gory stories, we do that
00:15And your host are talking rats
00:18The past is no longer a mystery
00:21Welcome to...
00:22HORRIBLE HISTORIES
00:27HORRIBLE HISTORIES PRESENTS
00:29Hair-raising Holidays
00:31Ah, who doesn't love going on their hollybobs by the sea
00:36I adore a trip to the beach with my family
00:40And King George III was the same
00:43He especially loved holidaying in the British seaside town of Weymouth
00:47Although his family was slightly less keen on the trips
00:50Oh no, this happens every time
00:54My hair is not a nest
00:56Family on tour
00:58I'm so excited
01:00OK, Dad, tell us where we are
01:04Oh, well, we are in Dorset
01:06On a royal family holiday, going to the best town ever
01:09What could be better, girls, than going to...
01:11Weymouth?
01:12Err, not going to Weymouth
01:15That would be better
01:16Weymouth is more dull and stupid than I can find words to express
01:19You're the king, Father
01:21We could literally go anywhere
01:23I know, which is why we're doing a special surprise stop on the way
01:28It better not be a farm
01:30Oh, hello, biggies
01:35Isn't it great?
01:37I love farms
01:38I can't believe you're my sister
01:40Oh, I stepped in something
01:43Did you like a farm?
01:46Now I'm bored and I smell of cows
01:49Right, girls
01:51Let's do a bit of Weymouth shopping, shall we?
01:54Shop till we drop, that'll cheer you up
01:56It's half past five in the morning, Daddy
01:58I know, that's why I had my favourite shop, Delamote
02:01Open specially
02:02Look at the shopkeeper
02:03Loves getting up at 5am
02:05This holiday is almost as bad as last year's
02:08In fact, it is as bad
02:10It's the same exact holiday again
02:12Although I guess last year's was a bit worse
02:15Because we had to go on a boat trip
02:16Boat trip?
02:18Quite bad
02:21I've got nothing less than me to throw up
02:25It's all the excitement of being on a boat
02:28Just loving it
02:33I think it's safe to say that was a huge success
02:40Hey, Father, we're so miserable
02:43Fine, I give up
02:45Never again
02:46Really, Father, thank you
02:48Brush your teeth first
02:49Now we can find somewhere else to holiday, finally
02:52No, no, I meant we'll never do the boat trip again
02:54We'll definitely come back to Weymouth
02:55Yay
02:56Weymouth is cool
02:58Weymouth is cool
03:00Weymouth is cool
03:01Hello, holidaymakers
03:03Queen Victoria here
03:05Queen of Great Britain and Ireland
03:07Empress of India
03:08And massive fan of going on hollybobs
03:11In addition to ruling and having lots of children
03:14I did like to be beside the seaside
03:16I was a particularly big fan of going wading in the sea
03:19My husband, Albert, even persuaded me that the salty water was good for my health
03:24But tell me
03:25What special bit of equipment did I like to use when I went to the sea?
03:30Was it
03:31A
03:32An extendable ramp
03:33An extendable ramp so that I didn't have to stick on any pebbles
03:36B
03:37A big shed on wheels
03:38Or
03:39C
03:40An inflatable golden seahorse called Sebastian
03:43The answer was
03:44B
03:45A big shed on wheels
03:46Called a bathing machine
03:48Like this one
03:49It would be wheeled into the sea with me inside it
03:52So then I could get out into the water without frying eyes watching me
03:57And splash around a bit
03:58Hmm
03:59And let me tell you
04:00This ride was pimped
04:02It's got a changing room in there and curtains that go around the front
04:06So I couldn't be seen
04:07And there's even a royal working toilet inside
04:11I might be the queen
04:13But I do not royal weave in the sea
04:16Unless it's an emergency
04:18Excuse me, Monica on the move
04:23Agatha?
04:24Agatha?
04:25That can be you
04:26John!
04:27What brings you to Hawaii?
04:28You!
04:29Agatha
04:30I published your books and were expecting another one
04:32I did not expect to find you, Agatha Christie, detective writer, on a beach in a...
04:35It's the bathing suit, John
04:36What do you think?
04:37Agatha?
04:38Agatha?
04:39Agatha?
04:40Agatha Christie?
04:41Agatha Christie?
04:42Agatha Christie?
04:43Detective writer on a beach in a...
04:45It's the bathing suit, John
04:47Whatever it is, it's not a book
04:49And that's what we need
04:50People need more Poirot
04:51I've been trying to get a hold of you for weeks
04:53Well, you've caught me, red-handed
04:55Why are you even here?
04:56Because of that little lady over there, Jonathan
04:59I can't see anyone
05:00Is it Miss Marple?
05:01The sea, John
05:02Do you know what this is?
05:04An insole for a very big shoe
05:06It's a surfer, John
05:08I've been learning to surf
05:10So what are you now?
05:11A surfer?
05:12Could we at least fix a typewriter on this thing?
05:14I'm still a groundbreaking crime novelist, John
05:17I've just discovered a totally epic new hobby while on my vacation
05:21Well, you know what would be totally epic, Agatha?
05:24A new book!
05:26I do have a new idea for a book
05:28Oh, great
05:29It's about a British prince
05:31Terrific
05:32Who gets murdered
05:33Intriguing
05:34While surfing in Hawaii
05:36Oh, that's ridiculous
05:37People simply won't take you seriously
05:39If you keep telling tales about surfing princes
05:42Good work
05:44John, have you met the prince of Wales?
05:46What is hell
05:48Your wonderful majesty
05:51Chill, bro
05:52Oh, it's awesome out there, Agatha
05:54I just stood up on the board
05:55I think I'm the first British dude to do it
05:58Check this out
06:00Woohoo!
06:02Later, bro
06:03Tell me more about this royal murder story then
06:06How does it start?
06:07Well, the prince is in the water and there may be a shock
06:10It's a great first chapter
06:11No, no, no
06:12The prince is in the water and there may be a shock
06:14Your royal highness
06:15Watch out!
06:20It's true
06:21Famous crime writer Agatha Christie
06:23Really did get hooked on surfing
06:25And her surfboard really was called Fred
06:28When I go abroad on my holes
06:30As well as souvenir hunting in their exotic bins and sewers
06:35I love a bit of sightseeing
06:37And people in the past did too
06:39Alexander the Great once actually took a break from waging a war
06:44So he could go and visit the tomb of his hero
06:47The legendary Greek warrior Achilles
06:49Oh, oh, they're emptying the bins
06:52Got to get a snap
06:53Oh, oh, the bins
06:55I don't know
06:57Hey all, fair Alexander
07:00Welcome to the ruins of ancient Troy
07:02Thanks, buddy
07:03We're actually on our way to attack the Persian Empire
07:05But we couldn't resist little holiday of Troy on the way
07:08All war and no play makes Alexander the Great
07:11A dull and yet still strangely awesome emperor
07:14Well, let me be your tour guide to this historic ruin
07:17All I ask is the honour of your company
07:19And also a large bag of coins
07:23Spike, what do you want to say?
07:23what do you want to say show me the resting place of achilles the greatest of the greek warriors
07:28and hero of the trojan war behal the tomb of achilles oh it's right there bro i can't believe
07:37i'm stood right in front of the actual tomb of achilles haphistion look yeah i'm looking is great
07:43bro really like achilles oh yeah yeah massive fan i even sleep with a dagger under my pillow just
07:48like he did you know i always tell haphistion if i have an achilles heel is probably how much i love
07:54achilles yeah he's always saying that bro it's good to meet someone who respects the legends of troy
08:00just a bit might have to pour a load of oil over the tomb in tribute oh there it goes probably
08:06you don't need that much oil you know what gonna crown it in garlands too garlands and oil well do
08:11we have to spend all day at the tomb of achilles bro uh yeah in fact i'm gonna run around it naked
08:17ratio investion does he do this a lot yeah you better join in otherwise it gets a bit grumpy
08:23oh watch out for the oil who wants to go and look at famous landmarks when you can look at me
08:32yes when i the great emperor napoleon bonaparte was captured at waterloo the impressive sights the
08:38people traveled to see was me and i don't blame them i am a rather handsome chap go on treat yourself to
08:47an imperial christian it's 1815 and thousands of people have gathered in hundreds of small boats
08:56to catch a glimpse of the captured french emperor napoleon welcome to goggle boats
09:03hello boni oh he looks smashing totally worth traveling all the way from glasgow oh totally
09:15i do like a man in uniform do you like a man who's been fighting britain for the last 23 years
09:21if he's in uniform yeah i mean it's good but i wish something had actually happened
09:31look mum it's not partly took his hat off that made it worth traveling 400 miles can we go home now
09:37so british is that easily amused no yep there is no nation as foolish as we are
10:03so uh is he napoleon he's wearing a bicon hat isn't he with a two point yeah and three points to
10:11triton do you reckon if you've got one point that makes him a unicorn
10:21oh they're singing him his national anthem well those aren't the words the national anthem
10:26no mum they're singing him the french national anthem in french why because he's never mind
10:34what's he doing here anyway he's been captured by the royal navy and he's been kept here until he
10:39gets moved to a prison on a tropical island in the middle of the atlantic where he'll be for the rest
10:42of his life tropical island if i knew that was the punishment i would evaded holland years ago
10:56i'm not sure sitting watching that little french fellow waving his hat all day really floats my
11:04holiday boat gusty i've always got problems with wind one way or the other maybe you've been abroad
11:13for a holiday well in the past that was something that only very rich and powerful people could afford
11:19to do in the 17th century wealthy people went on trips called grand tours i don't think you'd be
11:26getting much rest and relaxation with this lot every year young lords from england set off across
11:33europe to learn about greek and roman classic history and they don't always behave themselves
11:41welcome to grand lords on tour 1758 i'm the bear leader it's my job to ensure these young
11:50gentellement have a educational and enriching time here's a kiss bear leader please put that back
11:56that is a priceless article
12:08the tour is a cultural experience for the young lords
12:12james sassel six out of salisbury king's cousin and wealthiest man in shropshire and i'm here to
12:18explore the philosophies and sites of the ancient past and to party
12:26no no no i'll be careful i'm not gonna lie i'm having the time of my life we're going to the
12:31beach i've spent so much money three thousand pounds is that a lot the whole point of the grand tour is
12:40like it's a kind of finishing school for landed gentry you know what i'm saying we get to see all the
12:45places we studied in real life like florence constantinople rome the orcans
12:55yeah we started in the alps climbing it's actually quite tough no no no not for me i got one of the
13:00locals to carry me up in a chair some people get very upset with the young lord's behavior
13:06no no no no no the fully of british boys has gained us the title golden asses all over italy
13:15next week the tour moves to athens where the boys study pythagoras and lord cecil is sick on the
13:22pathogenin
13:29yo yo yo it's your boy ibni baduta here international traveler extraordinary
13:37follow me as i go on the hajj that's an islamic holy pilgrimage to saudi arabia next stop mecca boy
13:46oh i'm in india i did go to mecca but then i love traveling so much i just kept on going oh and
13:57guess what the sultan of india's only hired me as his ambassador best holiday ever
14:05the sultan of india is sending me to china i can't wait bandits are coming run for your life
14:11hey bandit incoming bandits incoming i'm in a ditch hiding from the bandits
14:18worst holiday ever he's hiding in the ditch probably shouldn't have shouted out
14:23worst holiday ever
14:28it's your boy batuta here the bandits are keeping me prisoner in a cave as caves go it's a nice one but
14:34i'm okay i think a villager freed me yay all i had to do was give him
14:40all my clothes but you let me keep my trousers from now on they are officially my lucky trousers yeah
14:47now onward to china yeah so on the way to china i stopped off at ceylon see what nothing but blue
14:59skies ahead for your boy batuta best holiday ever
15:06i'm sure that'll blow over
15:07my ship got put in a storm the others made a raft but they said there was no room for your boy batuta
15:16so you know here i am on a sinking ship worst holiday ever
15:31rescue the new ship with new friends batuta's luck's in boy best holiday ever
15:37pirates are coming
15:43the ship was robbed by pirates and my clothes were stolen again but it's not all doom and gloom
15:50i've still got my lucky trousers
15:52and i have traveled 75 000 miles so actually best holiday ever
16:03what are we gonna do this summer oh probably nothing again
16:07not if i have anything to do with it who are you hi i'm thomas cook and i'm gonna give you the trip
16:14of a lifetime oh she's gone new thomas cook holidays in the first holiday of its kind i'm packaging
16:23together an incredible trip for the whole family all the way from leicester to loughborough
16:30oh wait did you say loughborough oh loughborough uh uh yeah well that's only 11 miles away that's
16:39right a whole 11 miles of luxury train travel oh oh so we're going first class well second class
16:49one carriage of holiday makers will be going second class the other nine will be going third class
16:54your very own seat on a train probably and this trip is all inclusive with food provided at our
17:03destination well that actually sounds quite good what are we having a cup of tea and a ham sandwich
17:11so much for luxury we'll be giving out free flags to wave and there'll be a band plane to welcome you
17:18on your arrival it's a dream getaway it's a third class train ticket a ham sandwich and a cheap flag
17:27it doesn't really sound like a holiday look there are no other package holidays this is the first
17:32one so it's literally just this or stay at home sign me up yeah me too oh thanks guys thomas cook
17:40holidays where will your next adventure take you to be honest it's probably going to be loughborough
17:45again next year when i'm on holiday i love a treat that might be a trip to something like a theme park
17:54or eating something tasty hello you nice candy floss and in my book the bigger the better in victorian
18:04times though they had teeny tiny servings of ice cream called penny licks hmm i dropped my candy floss in
18:12the bin i'll go and get it oh bonus i love toppings just when you thought the british summer time
18:23couldn't get any better oh look over there it's the ice cream cart yes it's everyone's favorite victorian
18:30summer treat the penny lick the refreshing instant snack that you can share with friends one penny lick
18:36please our taste sensations include lemon strawberry vanilla and the saliva and germs of whoever had
18:43the glass last flavor um vanilla without the saliva and germs they ain't optional right and how much is
18:53a penny lick you trying to be funny the penny lick costs you just one penny well yes i suppose that is
18:59cheap and a fairly high risk of infection you do wash these glasses don't you sometimes
19:03i mean if it's been properly lit clean there's no need beautifully lit clean you could eat your dinner
19:14off that i love them because the cold gives me relief from the sores around my mouth oh pick a penny
19:20lick they're quick they're thick and there's a chance they won't make you sick one penny lick please
19:26nap one yourself you're joking ain't you i'm not eating there
19:36madame i present the most thrilling new experience in paris the first of its kind in the whole world
19:43but it's just a wooden card on a tiny train track it is so much more than that i'm sure that's fine in
19:49years to come people will travel the world and queue all day just to ride one of these we call it
19:55les montagnes russes bonjour oh after those huge ice slides that look like little mountains
20:05of course we don't have much ice here in paris that is why we use the tracks so we are just in a box
20:11ending down an hill very very fast where isn't it outside shouldn't we wear some kind of safety
20:17strap to keep us from flying out if it stops suddenly that sounds like a great idea but it's a bit late
20:23right now i'm sure the tracks will keep us going in the right direction uh what happens if the wheels come
20:32huh i guess we're about to find out oh the acceleration the danger it is so much fun
20:40why would anyone find danger fun i don't know madame but the more interest people have on this ride
20:47the more popular it becomes i would like to get off now i am going to do some of it
20:54i'm afraid there is no way to stop the ride until we get to the bottom
21:02oh that's if we do stop at the bottom just because the track stops doesn't mean we will
21:11scream if you want to go faster
21:17let's go again i am going up oh
21:23so you go on roller coasters and eat ice creams on your holidays i've got no idea what roller coasters
21:29and ice creams are or holidays in medieval times we didn't have anything like that well not exactly
21:35anyway a bit more a bit more a bit more trying to safely oh hello we're just building a medieval
21:44church it's hard work isn't it dave yeah i'm shattered a bit like a foot
21:51but luckily building medieval churches does mean you get a bit of time off now and again
21:56but can you tell me why is it because a we only work in the morning so we can pray in the afternoon
22:02b we get some of the holy saints feast days off or c no one can tell the time so we just finish
22:07when we want pretend it's the end of the day the answer is b we get some holy days off in fact
22:15that's where your word holidays comes from our holy days yeah where are you going for your holy
22:19feasts tomorrow ted church same as everyone else come on well we better finish building it then
22:27you're all right
22:32time i can't believe i am going to my first
22:35is going to love it the girls only festival right here in ancient athens celebrating the fertility
22:45goddess demeter you are an absolute bottom-made pooper brains for having not gone before that's
22:51actually quite heartful oh no babes that's the pre-party bit of thesmophoria where we all insult each
22:57other your hairy smell bag do you have a butt like the parthenon because it's big old and smelly
23:13she knows about the pig guts right what girlies love guts we sacrifice piglets and then we mix their
23:21guts with dirt hit the leg for more easy breezy guts and dirt recipes and then we throw them all into a big
23:27pit yay one woman gets chosen to be something called the baler and they have to kind of go into
23:32the pit and scooch around in all of the pig gut mush and then they scoop it all up and spread it on
23:37the altar congratulations we thought it'd be cool if you were the baler this year you're so lucky olympia
23:44hashtag blast she bailed can you believe you got to be baler at your first vesmophoria i honestly can't
23:52there's my four-year gift time stick below to buy our very own teleporter piggy collection perfect for
23:59you and your friends you know sometimes you just give each other the gifts instead of bothering with
24:03all the baler and somebody scooping around and all the big mush stuff wait what what so the the
24:09the gunk smooshing that was all optional you butt-brained boneheaded baboon butted paws awkward
24:15actually um the insults are at the start of the festival that was actually quite powerful don't
24:22forget to like and subscribe pig guts now that sounds like my kind of festival is it all you can eat
24:33that's made me hungry now still nothing beats my favorite kind of holiday i do like to be beside the
24:40seaside and we've got queen victoria to thank for helping make seaside holidays popular but it was
24:47people like holiday camp pioneer philly buckling who really changed things thanks to him seaside breaks
24:54became more affordable for everyone from queens to rats happy holidays
25:00oh no the beach was not traditionally where one would go and here in bognaya this water's so cold but
25:16doctors said it helps to make your gout go gout go it's cool to be by the sea now it's cool to be by
25:25the sea i like to be by the sea and to take all my family i change in a bathing machine i see the sea but
25:32it can't see me even a royal empress leads us vacation by the sea i'm promenading while the kids are
25:42bark kitten spading oh yeah in the sea we're paddling and wading na na na na break by the ocean break by the ocean
25:54seaside factory workers sure like to be b-side i thought for their week off i could provide
26:24a holiday with entertainment supplied supplied
26:31holiday camp by the sea my holiday camp by the sea i called it butlands because i named it after me
26:39i'll do everything i can to make my campers all happy catering for all their needs obviously for a fee
26:46dandy floss baby or a knobbly knee contest maybe oh yeah grandparents mums dads and their babies
26:58everyone has fun by the ocean break by the ocean it's cool to be by the sea now it's cool to be by the sea
27:06and it's all thanks to him and me break by the ocean break by the ocean
27:20shall we all go and get fish and chips
27:22the past is no longer a mystery hope you enjoyed horrible histories
27:45and you
27:48try to do something
27:50you
27:50try to be
27:52you
27:53try to do something
27:54you
27:54try to thank your
27:55what you
27:56try to do something
27:57you
27:58try to do something
28:00this is
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