- 2 days ago
Dude, My friend died, he couldn't outrun the zombies. I made it, but he continues to haunt me. I have but one goal, to find a lighter.
Category
🎮️
GamingTranscript
00:00Again, this is not for children, it can be offensive to some people.
00:09Hello, baby!
00:15And we're back.
00:18So, you know, I got this weed, man.
00:27And, uh, you know, I can't, um, I can't...
00:40I am so high.
00:43I can't smoke it without a lighter.
00:46Without a lighter.
00:49Damn it.
00:50No more saying Cussford!
00:55So, wait.
00:55So, wait, wait.
00:57It says that I'm hungry.
00:59I am hungry!
00:59Look!
01:00Who's that?
01:01I am hungry!
01:02Oh, I can see that!
01:03No, no, no.
01:04I am hungry!
01:05Oh, that's his name!
01:06You...
01:07You're hungry?
01:11Then why'd you get an ice cream for it?
01:19What?
01:20Well, it's food!
01:22But it's not food, food.
01:24You just spoiled your dinner.
01:39You just spoiled a zombie's dinner.
01:41Where is the moment we needed the most?
01:50Kick up the leaves and the magic is lost.
01:55Tell me your blue skies fade to gray.
01:58Cause you had a bad day!
02:00Yeah!
02:02It...
02:03Does it not?
02:04This may look like an ice cream sandwich,
02:06but it's actually not.
02:07It's soap!
02:07When I ran out under the water,
02:09it got super creamy and foamy.
02:15Isun.
02:16Yay, I'm smart.
02:19The prophecy is true.
02:20Oh, I don't know what the fuck all of this does.
02:32Oh, yay, I got a perk.
02:34Oh, yay.
02:35Oh, yay.
02:36Oh, yay.
02:37And so I cry sometimes when I'm lying in bed just to get it.
02:41But I was in my head.
02:44And I feel it, I feel it.
02:46I feel it, I feel it.
02:48And so I wake in the morning and I step outside.
02:54And I take a deep breath and get real high.
02:58And I scream for the talk of my nose.
03:00What's going on?
03:03Because I said
03:05Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey
03:08Hey, hey, hey
03:10I said hey
03:12What's going on?
03:17Um, a perc.
03:18So, give me a bong?
03:20Okay, so I've got beef patties
03:22and garlic. I just had some ice cream.
03:27Oh.
03:27At least you got your appetite back.
03:38Some vagina?
03:39Some garlic.
03:40Some garlic.
03:41Okay, um
03:42I guess I can drink this.
03:48Put some vodka in it.
03:50Hold on.
03:50Get crunchy.
03:51Do I have some water?
03:52Make sure you check every nook and cranny.
03:54You might find any stuff.
03:57So, I'm very hydrated.
04:05I've got cottonmouth.
04:06Yeah, but is that safe water?
04:09I guess so.
04:10It's not making me sick.
04:12It's city water.
04:13The city water should be safe, right?
04:17Depends what's underneath.
04:20What's in the ground.
04:21Okay.
04:22You should have soil testes.
04:27I'll eat this roll right now.
04:31I don't feel like making canned.
04:35Open.
04:37Eat.
04:43Canned tomatoes.
04:44Oh, I can't just bite into the can.
05:02You need a can opener.
05:11Oh, well now I'm just peckish.
05:12Oh, so I'm fine.
05:25I no longer have a hungry status.
05:29So, let's see.
05:31See, there's more cannabis.
05:32Yeah.
05:33I have.
05:34Man, I'm going to get me a slurping machine, bro.
05:35Like, seriously.
05:36Zombie apocalypse hits.
05:37It hits.
05:38I'm going to get me a slurping machine.
05:39Yeah, bro.
05:43Let's wheeze some juice.
05:45This is what put this place on the map.
05:47What are you doing, Mrs. Tony?
05:50No, no, no, no.
05:50You can't do this yet.
05:57Are you a straight-up slurping machine?
05:59Yeah.
06:00Yeah, I got an ice cream machine.
06:02Damn it.
06:03Trying to unlock the door.
06:05Just cooperate.
06:06Just cooperate.
06:09Yeah, see, I was trying to unlock the door like that.
06:31See, the keys are in the car.
06:34You're not going to have to hotwire it?
06:35Wait, is it a Mexican or a white guy?
06:40No, no, this truck is totally fucked.
06:46I fucked it.
06:48So now, we're off to see the lighter, the wonderful lighter of Oz.
06:54Why don't you just use a magnifying glass?
06:57I don't have one.
07:00Two sticks.
07:01First fire with the fire steel goes up, no problem.
07:21Second one's going to be a bit more of a challenge.
07:23Joe's using a char cloth,
07:24a steel,
07:27and a piece of quartz.
07:36Oh.
07:39There, I see the ember.
07:41Put it in the little bird's nest there.
07:45We got smoke.
07:46We got smoke.
07:47And fire.
07:57Okay.
07:58Last one striking with a pocket knife.
08:01And no problem.
08:03That's time.
08:03Do you realize
08:07how very
08:09not reliable
08:12that method is?
08:13You'll get blisters.
08:15You'll get blisters
08:16before
08:17you light a fire.
08:26This is before you light a fire?
08:28Before you can,
08:29before you build a fire,
08:31you'll get blisters.
08:33What was that?
08:40That door just opened.
08:43Oh, girl.
08:45Alright.
08:46It's open.
08:48Oh, cool.
08:51Whose house is it?
08:52Did you knock?
08:53I did not knock.
08:55We are...
08:57What if they have a gun?
08:59Good.
09:00Because I need a gun.
09:01Oh, God.
09:03I need your clothes,
09:22your boots,
09:22and your motorcycle.
09:23But what if they shoot that gun?
09:34Well, I have a baseball bat.
09:37But what if that bullet hits you?
09:38Let's check up...
09:38Let's check upstairs.
09:43Let's not break...
09:44I'm already upstairs.
09:46...the windows.
09:46Check to see if there's a false staircase.
09:55And then we head into this room.
09:57Now, so here's where...
09:58What's interesting is here is the entrance,
10:01the stairs,
10:02up to the widow's walk,
10:04if that's what it's called.
10:05and you can't get to it
10:07because it's been completely sealed off.
10:09So there's the stairs.
10:10But there's this concrete here
10:12that looks like it's perhaps
10:16from a chimney
10:18because it's got a vent right here.
10:21But that's the stairs
10:22that would take you up to the tower.
10:24I'll check the covers
10:27to see if there's any hatches.
10:32There'll be hidden rooms.
10:35Maybe in a kitchen island.
10:40Who knows a fake bush?
10:48I'll just take everything.
10:50Water party?
10:51Or outhouse?
10:52The second floor?
10:54There could be a false wall.
11:10There could be lots of goods behind there.
11:16There could be a party.
11:22In a zombie apocalypse,
11:23anything's possible.
11:24Too bad you didn't live to see it,
11:30fat man.
11:35I never lived to see it.
11:36Zombies.
11:37The zombies.
11:38The zombies.
11:39A-T-Wook.
11:42I annoyed him to death.
11:44That's what happened.
11:44I annoyed all the zombies.
11:53I annoyed all the zombies.
11:53I annoyed all the zombies.
11:53Like what was that zombie?
11:57I know I'm annoying.
12:02Okay, I'll see that zombie.
12:10Is it a zombie or a fucking stone?
12:12Is it a zombie or a fucking stone?
12:12Is that cutting off?
12:13Oh, God.
12:14I've got to figure out how to play this game.
12:27It's complicated.
12:29I don't want anything in that junk pile.
12:34You never know.
12:36I already saw what was in the box.
12:41It's not like you, your room.
12:45It's not like, it's not like there's, there might be worthwhile shit in it.
12:50I looked in the box.
12:52There was nothing in there that was fucking great.
12:55Wow.
12:56For red, dry eyes, use clear eyes.
13:09Are you in good hands?
13:11Stan?
13:12Are you in good hands?
13:15With all states, states, Stan, do you in good hands?
13:18You know that they have treatment centers for people like you.
13:25They don't want me there at those centers.
13:55They can't feed you, that's for sure.
13:59No, they can't feed me.
14:02Oh, really?
14:04They don't want me.
14:06They would have had to make this in the shoes of butter when they were.
14:10Huh?
14:11They would.
14:12Especially when I was zombie around.
14:14After a few dabs.
14:15You know, the Vogue police are gonna come around.
14:16They're gonna be like, why are you talking about fad people?
14:21I seriously think the zombie apocalypse is gonna start from a marijuana strain.
14:28It's too potent.
14:29People would take a hit.
14:30It's got the munchies.
14:31Big alienware keyboard.
14:32Like, I have to have this massive freaking keyboard.
14:38I'll get you a small keyboard.
14:39No, no, no.
14:40No.
14:41No.
14:42No.
14:43No.
14:44No.
14:45No.
14:46No.
14:47No.
14:48No.
14:49No.
14:50No.
14:51I have to have this massive freaking keyboard.
14:56I'll get you a small keyboard.
15:01No, no, no.
15:04No.
15:05No.
15:06No.
15:07No.
15:08I have to, I have to like...
15:14You know, this is what happens whenever we take dabs before we play.
15:18play what like I just get so stoned I can't be funny why are you eating on
15:27the couch pretty good
15:31that over here well you're not funny to begin I know I'm not funny and I'm funny
15:44looking yeah you are well not funny haha but funny looking I think I've I've taken
15:56all the cardboard like like I could build a house out of all the cardboard that I've
16:05taken you build up build your own house inside that house this homeless guy made
16:12himself a two-story cardboard home
16:23yeah check the garage oh no the yeah the garage is in teaching a where can I keep
16:35the barbecue stuff oh here's some reading material
16:40it's all fucking I'll play your magazine
16:45tell me if I listen to all the reading material I don't know
16:51I think I hit the beach oh hell if you can't make a participation you can at least pop this stuff
16:59you can at least pop this stuff you can take the carbonation out of that kit
17:02if you need some suns down doing anything right if these are good punch bag
17:08we got trees let's see
17:12oh it was raw this is not possible you're done he brings that pissing over and the big surprise is
17:31the fucking bass is fucking raw
17:35fine
17:37try to see if this food push the button there is food push the button no you're going the wrong way now
17:54I don't know if you can't make a participation you can at least pop this stuff
18:02you can at least pop this stuff you can take the carbonation out of that kit if you need some suns down if you can do anything right if these are good punch bag
18:10now you just now you just now you press the whole computer
18:16now the internet sounds damn it totally
18:20you know if I was going to put pick someone
18:29to communicate with whenever they died during the zombie apocalypse I would not have picked you
18:39you don't know how hilarious I think that shit is I want to laugh so fucking hard right now
18:48oh there's cat food and dog food you know that would be great during the zombie apocalypse
18:58I'd be the last ghost you communicate with during the zombie apocalypse
19:03I'd probably annoy the hell out of you the whole time too
19:08kinda like what you're doing now
19:11no no I'm talking about but in a ghostly way
19:15where you like you would have been able to throw me out or nothing you're like
19:19fuck
19:20you sit here sleeping up and just
19:23slap you right in the forehead
19:25here we go
19:28what am I supposed to do again
19:35okay I play the character
19:38alright this house has shit
19:42I have exercised the demons
19:47this house is clear
19:51turn it upside down
19:55these not smokers
19:56these people did not smoke
19:59man how the hell am I going to quit smoking
20:01I wish smoking could just quit me instead
20:03thank you for meeting me here
20:05I have something very important to tell you
20:08I have something important to tell you too
20:11Peter I think we should see other people
20:13okay
20:15uh good that's what I was gonna say too
20:21why why why don't they smoke
20:26take the garage
20:30that's what I was thinking this might be a garage
20:34let's not fuck with that that's the power for the whole building
20:43there we go
20:48now you're gonna learn with the zombies
20:49see the lights
20:53come on give me a lighter
20:57at least a torch
20:59come on give me a lighter
21:01I think a little fucking blowtorch
21:06oh my god
21:12I mean later we're gonna need shit
21:18but like
21:19there's
21:21there's just stuff
21:24I'll hook you for a lighter
21:25that's all we need
21:26just a lighter
21:26right right now
21:27all we need is a lighter
21:29the machine is a lighter
21:30you know
21:31this is series
21:35this is vital
21:36in a zombie apocalypse
21:37a lighter
21:38you got two ounces of wheat
21:39and no lighter
21:40oh my god
21:41I don't want to
21:42I don't
21:42god damn it
21:44the world is going to shit
21:46these yuppies do not have
21:49at least a book of matches
21:50a lighter
21:51I don't want to take the fucking rotten shit
21:56there I am walking into the wall
22:10did you see that
22:11huh
22:15that's it I'm out of here
22:19this shit is over
22:21say how's that a power and ability
22:26if you were paraplegic
22:27would you have the power and ability
22:28to walk into walls
22:30like no
22:31well there you go
22:31the power and ability
22:35to walk into walls
22:36very encumbered
22:38well after I
22:42what the fuck
22:44next to the furniture
22:46you can build a fort
22:50with all these extra chairs
22:51god damn it
22:51I gotta break all this shit up
22:53this is like
22:54the shed too
22:59this is like work man
23:03I'm too old for this shit
23:05there's nothing in here
23:07this is fucked
23:10I'm over
23:11I'm a hundred percent
23:13over encumbered
23:15that is a compost bucket
23:17but that's not what I'm looking for
23:20you should
23:20okay I want it
23:49oh there's one
23:50come on
23:50you want to see me kill a zombie
23:53you see zombie kill of the week
23:56goes through
23:57come on
24:01you're fucking ugly
24:04you're one
24:13ugly motherfucker
24:15you're doing a thriller
24:19you're catching a thriller
24:20yeah
24:20got him
24:27got him
24:29got him
24:29you're
24:31you're
24:33you're
24:33uncle
24:33Willie son
24:34you're uncle
24:35Willie son
24:36hey you'll
24:45mess them up
24:46horrible
24:48you know
24:49just bust out the
24:54I would
24:55I would do a crouch
24:56you know
24:57but like
24:58they're dead
24:59already
25:00so
25:01I pawned the noobs
25:06oh snap
25:06I pawned the noobs
25:08let's see
25:10if you can
25:11use the car lighter
25:14the truck lighter
25:15there is no
25:16truck lighter
25:17there isn't?
25:18you checked
25:18I've checked
25:20how you gonna smoke
25:22the weed to begin with
25:23do you have a pipe?
25:25I don't know
25:25it just says
25:26that I need a lighter
25:27is it all rolled up
25:32already
25:32is it pre-rolls?
25:33I guess so
25:34are they organic wraps
25:38or are they hemp wraps?
25:44or are they organic hemp wraps?
25:48I'm just gonna
25:51wheeze some juice
25:52what flavor?
25:53this is what put
25:54this place on the map
25:55what are you doing
25:57Mr. Stoney?
25:58no no no no
25:58you can't do this
25:59you can't do this yet
26:00what slippers do you have?
26:03I don't know
26:03it looks like
26:04yellow, green and red
26:06that
26:08that
26:09that don't tell me much
26:10oh hi
26:14how's it going?
26:17Jesus
26:18are you okay?
26:20oh my god
26:21Brian
26:21are you okay?
26:22yeah
26:22I'm fine
26:23Annie
26:24are you okay?
26:25so Annie
26:25are you okay?
26:26are you okay Annie?
26:27what happened to her?
26:29she was hit by
26:30she was struck
26:31by a smooth criminal
26:32it's a fucking
26:33straighter marijuana
26:34okay
26:37is this
26:38is this a
26:39is this a room?
26:41ah
26:42it unlocked
26:43the room
26:44for me
26:44yay
26:46whoa
26:50yeah
26:51damn
26:53done
26:54done
26:55there we go
27:00order it up
27:01I'm
27:01I'm
27:02you know
27:02I'm like you
27:04whenever you go
27:04to the bathroom
27:05do you play what you're asking
27:13before I take a shit?
27:15huh?
27:16I can't hear you
27:17do you play what you're asking
27:18before I take a shit?
27:23I'm joking
27:24well I've got to put
27:25some shit somewhere
27:27you gotta put it somewhere
27:28Will
27:28she actually stole it
27:31somewhere better than that
27:32she's buried out back
27:34yep
27:42there's nothing in there
27:43thanks for
27:48unlocking the room
27:49for me
27:50let's say
27:51check the pockets
27:52but
27:52I don't think I'm wearing pants
27:53what brand is that TV?
27:59let's see
28:00is it compatible
28:03with the wall mount
28:04let's read this
28:08it's not anybody can read
28:11British furniture
28:12I can read
28:14don't be jealous
28:15because
28:16I can read
28:17I was in Nashville
28:20Tennessee last week
28:21and after the show
28:21I went to a waffle house
28:22right
28:22I'm sitting there
28:23and I'm eating
28:23and I'm reading a book
28:24I don't know anybody
28:25I'm alone
28:25I'm eating
28:26and I'm reading a book
28:28and this waitress
28:29comes over to me
28:29what's he reading for?
28:35wow
28:36I've never been asked that
28:37all right
28:45no no no no
28:47um
28:50ah
28:54yes
28:56there we go
28:58you kind of
29:05you get any vehicles
29:06hold on
29:07I mean
29:09do you get any like
29:10taint to sit?
29:16let's do a little
29:17inventory organization
29:20prioritize the most
29:25the necessities
29:25put weed in front
29:27of everything
29:28before water
29:30all right
29:31I'm no longer
29:32encumbered
29:33and there was
29:36just an autosave
29:37so
29:38we're gonna
29:40fuck off
29:41would you like
29:45to fuck off?
29:47no
29:47okay
29:48so long
29:53farewell
29:53I'll be just
29:55and good night
29:55well we didn't
29:59find a lighter
29:59today so
30:01so maybe we'll find
30:06some matches
30:07next time
30:07well no
30:10I had matches
30:11but they
30:12the game
30:12will not
30:13allow me
30:14to do that
30:15any last words
30:18fart face
30:20yeah
30:22during the zombie apocalypse
30:23don't be fat
30:24voila
30:25appetit
30:32appetit
30:32Oh, I see nothing, I was not here, I did not even get up this morning!
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