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00:00Oh, oh, oh!
00:04Oh, oh, oh!
00:07Oh, oh, oh, oh!
00:10Hey-yo, oh!
00:14Oh, oh, oh!
00:17Oh, ho-oh!
00:19Oh, ho-oh!
00:23alsjebliko
00:27, изучimo
00:29Hello, hello, hello and welcome to the blame game, the show that does to the news what
00:40the Supreme Court has just done to your school's nativity play.
00:44I'm Tim McGarry and our regular panellists are Colin Murphy, Diona Doherty and Neil
00:53Gellamere. And our special guest tonight is a superb stand-up comedian originally from
01:05Cork but now living here. He's a brilliant live act who has also had loads of TV credits
01:10to his name including Russell Harde's Good News and live at the Comedy Store and he co-presents
01:14The Breakfast Show on Q Radio. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the hilarious Andrew Ryan.
01:23Andrew was actually on the blame game last year but only the radio version but now that
01:31he's got his turkey teeth and a hair transplant we've let him on the telly. Out of the two
01:38of us Tim we all know who needs that trip to Turkey more don't we? It's a brand new series
01:44of the blame game ladies and gentlemen so what's been happening since we last saw you in December
01:482024? Well Donald Trump was back in the White House, we got a new Pope and we're still waiting
01:53for Casement Park to be built. Yes Trump was back and within weeks he imposed tariffs on an island
01:59full of penguins, started a scrap with Canada and threatened to invade Greenland. Trump is obsessed
02:05with desolated wastelands. Honestly if I was lurking I'd be crapping myself. 2025 so far has been a year of
02:13conflict, wars in Ukraine in the Middle East, global tensions over trade and tariffs and in Northern Ireland
02:19we had a row about bilingual signs in a train station. In May a member of kneecap was charged under
02:27the terrorism act for waving a Hezbollah flag at a gig and everybody in Northern Ireland went,
02:31how long a minute, terrorist flags are illegal? When did this happen? Charges were later dropped under the legal
02:39principle, if we convict him we'll have to arrest most of East and West Belfast. Last year Gerry
02:47Adams actually made a cameo appearance in the kneecap film or maybe he didn't, that's how good his lawyers are.
02:53Yes at the end of May Gerry Adams won 100,000 euros in a libel action against the BBC. Yes the BBC is in trouble with two of the world's most
02:57most famously honest politicians. First Gerry, now the Donald. The BBC, they just hate Republicans.
03:17Gerry was delighted with his 100,000 euros until last week when Donald Trump threatened to sue the BBC for a
03:21billion dollars and now Gerry feels shortchanged. Donald Trump is suing them for one or even five billion dollars and the BBC are confident they'll successfully defend themselves in court. In an unrelated matter, the BBC have also announced a slight increase in the licence fee.
03:45Gerry from £174 to £18,463 and 27p. And finally, you're actually lucky I'm here at all tonight ladies and gentlemen, I applied for a new job recently, yes I saw a vacancy and I went for it, the job is Duke of York.
04:02Gerry is OK, it's OK, I didn't get it. Apparently I sweat too much.
04:12Yes, this year has not been good for former Prince, now Mr Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor. He's lost all his royal titles and his bodyguard, which is awful. I mean, who's going to drive him to Pizza Express now?
04:27Now on with the show, the audience asked the questions and our panel provides some very unreliable answers. So what questions did you, the audience asked us, as you came in with some questions from the audience.
04:35First one, who's to blame for this first date if it goes wrong?
04:40Who's that? Didn't leave a name, who's that?
04:43Oh, over there. Hello, Anne. The tickets to this are free, aren't they?
04:50Well played, sir, well played.
04:54Our first question tonight is asked by Una, who's from Castlewell. Una, what's your question?
04:58Who's to blame for religion being illegal?
05:01Yes, in a shock decision, the Supreme Court has ruled that Catholic and Protestant schools cannot teach their Catholic and Protestant pupils how to be Catholic and Protestant.
05:11I want to be objective about this, but let's be clear, if this nonsense goes ahead, my career is ruined.
05:17And there's a real chance that young people could grow up not even knowing the basic rules of their faith, such as why they should support Celtic rather than Rangers.
05:29And why Troy Parrott is now technically a saint.
05:34But who can we blame for religion being illegal now?
05:39Yeah, the judgment said that kids here aren't taught RE, it's more that they're indoctrinated.
05:47That's my strong word.
05:49I heard that and I thought, bless us and save us, Jesus, holy sweet mother of God.
05:56Indoctrinated? How very dare they?
05:59Do you know what I mean? That's ridiculous.
06:02It's of course I've been indoctrinated, do you know?
06:04The fact you all knew what he was doing, even the Protestants!
06:19We're totally indoctrinated, do you know what I mean?
06:22I tell you for a fact, right, and I know I wouldn't be the only one in this room for a fact, that I could be out anywhere in the world, right, doesn't have to be here.
06:30Anywhere in the world, in a bar, enjoying myself, doing shots, dancing like an idiot, having a great time to myself.
06:37And as the DJ just cut the music, grabbed the mic and just started going, I confess to Almighty God and to you, my brothers and sisters.
06:44I would immediately stop with them and immediately go, that I have greatly sinned.
06:47And immediately drop in.
06:49It's that thing, if you can get a Catholic anywhere, if you get them in bed, just whisper in their ear, just in the middle of it, just at the appropriate moment, just start whispering.
06:56Hail Mary.
06:57What's the appropriate moment?
07:02You know.
07:06There's been a huge drop-off anyway, I don't know what they're worrying about, because there has been a massive drop-off in everybody going to church, no matter what the nomination, and especially young people as well, young people going to church.
07:15Yeah. And I've said this before and I'll say it again, is that the way, if you want kids to not do something, right, the way to get them to not do it is put it on the curriculum.
07:24That's how you get them to not do it. Teach them. That will bore the whole, there will be no interest in it whatsoever. See, RE, it's on the curriculum, they're bored, they don't want to care.
07:33You could have done this with smoking years ago, it would have cut teenage smoking if you'd start teaching smoking as part of the curriculum.
07:38And kids, they're going, oh, double smoking next, oh, you could have done it with drugs, do you know what I mean? Get in here, get in here, you're lit, you're lit for drugs.
07:52I want to see a hundred lines in front of you.
07:56I think integrated education is really important. Like, my daughter goes to an integrated primary school and I think that's really important for her as a Catholic atheist and mixed with a Protestant atheist.
08:09But I genuinely feel like I'm undoing decades of secretarianism when I teach her that, like, not all bellies are silly.
08:21I'm learning French at the moment. I'm trying to learn French at the moment, right?
08:24Uh-huh. Yeah, yes. And you have dressed like one, which is fantastic.
08:30I have dressed like a French person. Like a French. Yeah, you look like a French person, it's very chic.
08:36And the man was trying to explain that the religious adjective goes after the noun, but instead of picking a human, he picked animals.
08:43So, instead of going, an homme catholique, he went, for example, un chien catholique, a Catholic dog.
08:50And I was like, I don't know if dog's a Catholic, but continue. And he kept going, he's like, un chien hindu, a hindu cat.
08:59Like, you can't have a hindu cat. Do you know how many lives a hindu cat would have?
09:04He kept going, he's like, un pic, c'mon de Jehovah, a Jehovah's Witness Woodpecker.
09:13I was like, they would never stop knocking at your door.
09:16Like, school's so stressed, it's stressful enough without worrying about whether they're learning religion or not.
09:29Because, like, kids sat the transfer tests last week. Like, that's still a thing.
09:34And I just think we shouldn't be judging, like, an 11-year-old on how they perform in one exam.
09:38We should be judging them on how much money their mum and dad have.
09:44Did you see the Israel, the US ambassador to Israel, had a go to Ireland? Did you see that?
09:48Mike Cuckabee said, oh, yeah, have you fallen...
09:50They were talking about the Occupies Territories Bill in the Dáil.
09:52And he went, oh, have you fallen into a vat of Guinness? Ireland needs to sober up.
09:57This is, yeah, this is what he said. And he's the former governor of Arkansas and he's the current US ambassador to Israel.
10:04And you just think, man, dude, I don't think it's necessarily helpful for you to just reinforce these kind of prejudice stereotypes.
10:10You need to go home, divorce your sister and shove your banjo up your hole.
10:20Oh, speaking of people getting annoyed, oh, every year it's the same thing, every single year.
10:23Oh, outraged people in the Daily Mail going crazy.
10:27Bloody Tesco. Bloody Tesco. Bloody Tesco.
10:31Oh, yeah. Bloody Tesco.
10:33They're not getting my club reward points.
10:35Bloody Tesco, renamed Christmas trees, evergreen trees.
10:40It's bloody Christmas.
10:42They've lost their... Yeah, they do that every year.
10:44Yeah, lost their picky over it.
10:46I seen the funnest thing outside of Tesco one time, the best bit of graffiti I've ever seen.
10:50There was one of those signs someone had stuck onto the side of the wall saying,
10:53Jesus saves.
10:54Do you ever see those?
10:55Yep.
10:56And someone had spray-painted below, I ask because he has a club card.
10:59LAUGHTER
11:01Thank you, thank you very much for that.
11:12Yes, indeed, education was in the news this week.
11:14Kim Kardashian wants to be a lawyer but sadly failed her California bar exams,
11:18which sounds not too bad until you realise, wait a minute,
11:21Kim Kardashian is not as bright as Jimmy Bryson.
11:24LAUGHTER
11:27So what is our next question tonight?
11:29Our next question tonight is asked by Sam from Bangor.
11:31Hi, Sam, what's your question?
11:32Yep.
11:33Who's to blame for World Cup fever?
11:35In a dramatic match this week, Scotland beat Denmark to reach the World Cup finals.
11:40Scotland fans say the match couldn't have been any better,
11:43but of course it could have been.
11:44It could have been against England.
11:46LAUGHTER
11:48I genuinely want Northern Ireland to make it partly because I really admire
11:51what Michael O'Neill has done with his young squad,
11:53but mainly because Michelle O'Neill will have to use the N-word
11:56and congratulate Northern Ireland.
11:59LAUGHTER
12:01Oh, I'm so excited about this.
12:03It's going to be tremendous and it was brilliant because earlier in the week
12:06when we realised that Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland
12:08were both in the draw, everybody did the same thing and it was on the front
12:10of the Irish News and it was just like,
12:12Can the Republic of Ireland, can they play Northern Ireland?
12:16And everybody's like, Oh, I don't know if that's a good idea.
12:18And the PS and I were going, Oh, the Overtime!
12:20Oh my God, the Overtime!
12:22Oh God, I could get a new kitchen.
12:25Oh, this would be absolutely fantastic.
12:27Just because these two, I'm going to get so much storage
12:30because these two jurisdictions are playing each other,
12:32but ironically I won't partition the island.
12:35LAUGHTER
12:37That's a kitchen storage joke.
12:40And then I watched, I watched it, the draw was so boring.
12:45It was just because there's bureaucrats from FIFA
12:49and then one very glamorous presenter and they're going,
12:51Oh, it may be their sixth time in the World Cup
12:54or they haven't been to the World Cup since 1982.
12:57It's boring, just boom, boom, boom.
12:59It should be like a GAA draw for a meat raffle.
13:01That's what it should be.
13:02It should be a pink ticket, a pink ticket, Bosnia-Herzegovina.
13:06That's what it should be.
13:07Or it should be like bingo, but every country has a bingo call.
13:09Do you know like two fat ladies?
13:11Yeah.
13:12It should be just like, brand new tits, turkey!
13:15LAUGHTER
13:17Versus Vida bread munchers, Northern Ireland.
13:22Right?
13:23Or don't stand close to the windows, Russia.
13:26LAUGHTER
13:28Versus your tourists only go one way, Switzerland.
13:32Right?
13:33You're going to need to get quicker on all these.
13:38These are just like the man we don't talk about, Austria.
13:43Versus...
13:44Wales.
13:48LAUGHTER
13:51It's glorious, right?
13:53And Cristiano Ronaldo getting sent off against us
13:56is one of the funniest things I've ever seen.
13:58Of course, you can't call him Cristiano Ronaldo now
14:00because of the Supreme Court ruling.
14:03LAUGHTER
14:04You have to call him Muslim...
14:06Muslim-o-Ronaldo and duo-o-Ronaldo
14:08and Cristiano-o-Ronaldo
14:10because you have to...
14:11you have to sit them all in equal amount of time.
14:13So, Ronaldo getting sent off is very funny.
14:15He's now in the White House, as we speak,
14:17having a meal with Donald Trump, MBS from Saudi Arabia
14:21and Elon Musk.
14:24Can you imagine having a meal with those?
14:26It's like the Last Supper where everybody is Judas.
14:29LAUGHTER
14:33I wouldn't eat dinner with Mohammed bin Salman, would you?
14:37No.
14:38He'd chop up your steak and then deny he ever did it.
14:40LAUGHTER
14:41But, of course, Ronaldo now plays for Saudi Arabia.
14:43Well, he plays in the Saudi League
14:45and the Saudi Wealth Fund could buy pretty much any football team
14:48in the world.
14:49The Saudi Wealth Fund could buy any Irish League club
14:54whatsoever except one, I always thought, yeah.
14:57Which one?
14:58Well, it's the home of Islam, so... Crusaders.
15:01LAUGHTER
15:03They're not buying Crusaders.
15:05LAUGHTER
15:06So, I just think it's very, very exciting.
15:08When Trump met MBS, he was asked a question...
15:10Did you see this?
15:11He was asked a question about Khashoggi, the journalist...
15:13Oh, yes.
15:14..who was chopped up in the embassy.
15:15And, of course, Trump always does the same thing.
15:16He goes, where are you from?
15:17They went, ABC.
15:18They went, ABC, fake news.
15:19But he always knows the outlet, so then he can come back.
15:22Just once, I want somebody to go, what about Khashoggi?
15:25And he goes, where are you from?
15:26The Strabang Chronicle.
15:27Answer the fucking question.
15:28LAUGHTER
15:33I tell you, I tell you, I...
15:35Look, like Neil, obviously, I'm a massive Republic of Ireland fan,
15:38right, but I also, today, when the draw...
15:40Sorry, I'm a massive Republic of Ireland fan, but when the draw was
15:42done, Northern Ireland got Italy, right, and I just really felt
15:46for the Northern Irish fans, right, because there is no direct
15:49flights from Northern Ireland to Italy.
15:52They have to go to Dublin, which is going to drive the Northern
15:55Ireland fans insane.
15:57Secondly, the game is on, potentially, at the Stadio
16:00d'Olimpico in Rome, the most Catholic city in the whole world,
16:04right?
16:05The last time an Irish team was in Rome, part, some sort of
16:08World Cup, it was Italian 90, and that team got an audience
16:11with the Pope, right, and I got a feeling this team will not be
16:14getting anywhere near the Pope, right?
16:17And if Northern Ireland can get through Whitley and get through
16:19there, there's definitely a chance that kneecap can do the DUP
16:22conference, right?
16:23Guaranteed with that.
16:25So the best of luck.
16:26This is the start of it, by the way.
16:28I don't follow football either.
16:29This is the first time I've heard of this guy, Troy, and it's
16:32such a bizarre name for somebody from Dublin.
16:34I've never heard, I've never met someone in real life called
16:36Troy.
16:37I imagine the day he was born, his mum was like, quick, think of a
16:40name.
16:41The dad was like, I don't know.
16:42And she was like, just Troy.
16:43And he was like, I am Troy.
16:44And his daughter was born.
16:45And his daughter was born.
16:46You are called Diona.
16:47And his daughter was born.
16:48Who is your favourite princess married to Charles?
17:02Diona.
17:03Diona.
17:04Diona.
17:05Diona.
17:06Diona.
17:07Diona.
17:08Diona.
17:09Diona.
17:10Diona.
17:11That press conference as well, in the White House with
17:14Crown Prince, hoo-ha.
17:16And they were sitting there and then the journalists, sorry,
17:18accused him about the murder of Khashoggi and all that.
17:21And Trump basically said, hey, oh, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
17:25Things happen, you know what I mean?
17:27Better being better born.
17:28Yeah.
17:29He's not a very nice guy.
17:30What are you saying?
17:31This guy's innocent.
17:32You know what I mean?
17:33Basically that's what he said.
17:34Is he a 1920s mob?
17:35That's exactly what he was like.
17:37I'm not joking.
17:38Yeah, man, awful.
17:39It's a shame if you were to get knocked over by a jalopy on
17:42the way home.
17:43Hey, get the tummy gun.
17:46Jimmy Cagney, you dirty rat.
17:49Yeah.
17:51One of my friends worked for Donald Trump for a couple of years.
17:54Before he was in politics, he worked for him at one of his golf
17:56courses.
17:57Really?
17:58And he's actually from here and he was working for him.
18:00And I said, what was he like?
18:01And he said, he's the greatest boss I've ever had.
18:03What?
18:04He said he was the best boss he's ever had.
18:05He would turn up three or four times a year.
18:07Every time he'd turn up, everyone got a pay increase.
18:09What?
18:10He'd just turn up, shop looks great, pay increase.
18:12Then he'd bring you out for dinner.
18:14He said he was the best boss ever.
18:16But if you disagreed with him on one thing, you were gone.
18:20So he was being...
18:21What did I say?
18:22What did I tell you?
18:23Things happen.
18:24Things happen.
18:25Things happen.
18:26Do you know what Trump said?
18:28Granddaughter is nearly qualified for the ladies PGA tour.
18:31Is she?
18:32Granddaughter, she's a fantastic golfer.
18:33And his son, Barron, is a very good football player, you know?
18:35Are you on some sort of payroll?
18:37No, no, no, no.
18:38Have the BBC got to you?
18:39Have the BBC got to you?
18:40Have the BBC got to you?
18:41No, no, no.
18:42Is somebody up there talking to him?
18:44What's the...?
18:45You can say what you want.
18:46Say nice things about Trump.
18:47Say nice things about Trump.
18:48But I like him.
18:49And Pol Pot of Cambodia.
18:50What a bad rep he gets.
18:52I'm only telling you what I'm hearing.
18:55Right.
18:56A friend of mine used to work for Mussolini.
18:58Now, does he have Mussolini?
18:59There were some great roads in...
19:02Do you know how else...
19:05A friend of mine...
19:06Now, here...
19:07A friend of mine...
19:08A friend of mine works for Victor Orban.
19:12And Victor Orban slipped a few quid after,
19:16Ah, ma, won the All-Ireland.
19:18Slipped a few quid to a PSNI officer
19:20to just drive around with the jersey.
19:23What?
19:25Can we cut that whole Trump off?
19:31We'll get to the World Cup next year.
19:35That's not the count.
19:37I'm just trying to get tickets for Ireland when we get to America.
19:39That's all I'm trying to do is get tickets.
19:42Thank you very much indeed.
19:43Yes, Donald Trump has finally authorised the release
19:46of the Epstein files.
19:48Will the files exonerate Trump or will they convict him?
19:51Well, I suppose it depends on how the BBC decides to edit them.
19:55So what is our next question tonight?
20:06Our next question tonight is asked by Rachel from Ballyna Hinge.
20:09Hi, Rachel.
20:10Who's to blame for ill health?
20:12Yes.
20:13GPs in Northern Ireland have backed the motion of no confidence
20:16in Health Minister Mike Nesbitt.
20:18Mike says he will do everything in his power
20:20to resolve his dispute with the GPs as soon as possible,
20:23as this would be the right thing to do.
20:25Plus, he has a prostate examination scheduled for next Thursday.
20:28The dispute between Mike and the GPs is getting petty.
20:33The GPs offered to talk to Nesbitt,
20:35but when they phoned his office at half eight,
20:37they were told they were number 67 in a queue.
20:40But who can we blame for ill health?
20:50Well, I think Mike Nesbitt gave the GPs a 4% increase.
20:55He gave them a 4% increase on their wages.
20:58He didn't have the budget for it.
20:59He's writing cheques he can't cash, right?
21:01I like him for that.
21:02They then came together, they had a meeting,
21:04probably for about ten minutes,
21:06and then they said that they had no confidence in him, right?
21:08Because that's all they're allowed, ten minutes of meetings, right?
21:10But since I've lived here in North Down,
21:13I think from watching the health service around here,
21:16I think everybody here on this panel, everybody watching at home,
21:18everybody in the studio tonight over the last five years,
21:20we can all agree with every single person that works in the health service.
21:24I think we can all agree and come together as well.
21:26It's probably the only thing in Northern Ireland
21:28that people from all communities will come together and agree in
21:31is the staff of the NHS that,
21:33have you thought about working a bit harder?
21:35You know what I mean? Like...
21:37Law-winging.
21:39Law-winging.
21:41You know, you're lucky to have a job.
21:45Law-winging.
21:47But since I...
21:49Well, cut that out.
21:50That was...
21:51No, no, no, no, no, no.
21:53That stays in.
21:54And the Trump thing.
21:56And the Trump thing.
21:57That stays in with the Trump thing.
21:59For my final appearance on the...
22:01Stop doing this!
22:02Stop doing this!
22:04But the thing is, right, when I ring my GP here like you do,
22:07I ring in the morning, I swear to God, right,
22:09you ring up and go,
22:10Hiya, can I get an appointment?
22:11What's it concerning?
22:12I said, it's concerning me health.
22:16I haven't rang up to cancel the sky.
22:19What's the problem?
22:22I said, I can't sleep.
22:24So none of us are sleeping at the moment.
22:26She goes, we'll get the duty doctor to give you a call back.
22:29What's the best time to call you?
22:30I said, between 2am...
22:32And 6am, right?
22:36One day I was walking past my GP, right?
22:39I was walking past and I thought to myself,
22:40I must pop in and book an appointment
22:42for like six weeks down the line
22:43to review some medication I'm on.
22:45I'm on meds, right?
22:46And so I said, I must walk in.
22:48So I walked in and I said to the woman,
22:50I said, hiya, I was just passing.
22:51Can I just get an appointment for like six weeks?
22:52She goes, you need to call us at 8 o'clock in the morning.
22:54I said, listen, I don't want the same day emergency appointment.
22:57I just want one like six weeks down the line.
22:59Can you not just put me in when you have a gap?
23:01Like on a bench, she goes,
23:02I'm sorry, we don't do appointments face to face.
23:04You have to ring us up.
23:05So I took out my phone.
23:07Right?
23:09I'm standing in the GP surgery and I went,
23:11you want me to ring you?
23:12I'll ring you, all right?
23:13And the phone behind her rang
23:15and she actually went...
23:18And I went, don't pick it up.
23:20I'm in front of you, right?
23:22And I thought, no wonder it takes ages to get anti-dunned.
23:24They don't understand the logic, right?
23:26And every time I get a prescription, right?
23:27Every time I get a prescription off the doctor,
23:29I go down to the pharmacy and this is another thing that gets me.
23:31You walk in, you go,
23:32hiya, can I just get this, please?
23:33And they're like, it'll be 20 minutes.
23:35And I'm like...
23:37It's behind you.
23:38Turn around.
23:40I'm looking at it.
23:41Why are you wearing a white coat?
23:43You're a shelf stacker.
23:44Like, it's literally...
23:46Turn around.
23:47There it is.
23:48Will you just give me the Viagra?
23:50Like, it's just there.
23:52So, yeah, I feel sorry for them all.
24:01They're all under pressure, but poor Mike.
24:03They are under pressure.
24:04Like, the GP's under so much pressure now
24:06that they're now drafting in vets
24:09to go into farms
24:11to convince farmers to go to the doctors
24:13because the farmers don't want to waste the doctor's time.
24:15I mean, they're happy to ring the vets
24:17whenever their sheep sneezes and the wrong accent.
24:20You know what I mean?
24:21They don't want to...
24:22But I think that's just like...
24:23It's not just farmers.
24:24That's men of a certain age.
24:26Sorry to some of you on the panel
24:28and I'll not say which ones.
24:33Better take men.
24:34What are you looking at?
24:35What are you saying?
24:36It's not him.
24:37Aren't you all just plastic hair?
24:39They all point at each other.
24:40Better just make...
24:41Like, we all...
24:42They don't want to waste the doctor's time.
24:43Like, we all have a dad or a husband
24:44who's like, that leg there,
24:45that leg was always hanging off.
24:46Don't worry about it.
24:47If I get that lumper move,
24:48what will the children play with?
24:50You won't get any truth out of a farmer anyway.
24:54No.
24:55At the best of times.
24:56Do you know what I mean?
24:57What are you saying, farmers?
24:58Do you know yourself?
24:59Yeah.
25:00It's just as long as you have your health,
25:01that's the main thing.
25:05When I read that headline about the vets...
25:07Yeah.
25:08The vets like...
25:09Dishing out medical things to the farmers,
25:11I had visions of, you know, farmers in pig crates.
25:14Yeah.
25:15That's what I had visions of them in there,
25:16with some vet putting on a massive glove.
25:19Going, right, Fergus,
25:20we're going to have a wee look at this here thing now.
25:23I imagined a vet with, you know, doing a rectal,
25:26and...
25:28on Fergus.
25:29That's cool.
25:30I'm just going, easy now, easy now.
25:33Are you...
25:34Are you...
25:35Are you confusing a vet with someone trying to crack a safe?
25:37Yeah.
25:42Oh, we also need to talk about how...
25:44how brilliant somebody was in blue light.
25:46Oh, yeah.
25:47Kevin just said...
25:52She was so like, you know, a woman in control.
25:54I'm just thinking there's no way that Sean, your husband,
25:56didn't go, bring that headset home.
26:02Just maintain position.
26:03I'm trying.
26:06I think I need backup though, to be honest.
26:08I thought you were great,
26:09and the only people that get annoyed at blue lights
26:11and line of duty here are people who have auditioned
26:14and not gotten into it.
26:15Yeah, yeah.
26:16Hey, Tim.
26:17How are you?
26:20I'm Michael.
26:23Yeah, they're saving me for the next series.
26:25Andrew was also...
26:26I was also in blue lights.
26:27He'd be terrible.
26:28You were in blue lights?
26:29Season two, yeah.
26:30You were in it.
26:31Yeah.
26:32What were you doing?
26:33Oh, nurses, they need to work a bit harder.
26:38No, I was in the final scene of series two.
26:40I was...
26:41Tell us all about it later.
26:42And then...
26:48With that response time, you should have been in the police force.
26:53Thank you very much.
26:54Thank you very much for that.
26:55Just time for a quick fire round.
26:57I will read you various newspaper headlines,
26:59and I want you to be faster than a Northern Ireland fan going Italy.
27:03Oh, for ffff...
27:05Sick.
27:06UK mistakenly releases prisoners.
27:10And they don't even have a peace process.
27:12LAUGHTER
27:14How Prince William makes sure his children behave.
27:26You want to spend the weekend with Uncle Andrew.
27:29LAUGHTER
27:35The galaxy is shrinking.
27:37Uranus isn't.
27:42Chilli powder will stop animals digging up your garden.
27:45It won't stop them shitting in it, though.
27:49Teenager building functioning body parts entirely from Lego.
27:53As his grandas run out of Viagra.
28:00There are five different levels of sleep.
28:02Or six if you've ever tried staying awake to Nolan Live.
28:10I love the way he said...
28:11You should be a ninja announcer.
28:13Nolan Live.
28:14Well, you see, the other option was...
28:16Or six if you work in the civil service.
28:18And based on my performance tonight...
28:20LAUGHTER
28:25LAUGHTER
28:26You know...
28:29No way I was slagging anyone else off.
28:32The only nurses and doctors in the audience will meet him outside after the show, all right?
28:37That's it, ladies and gentlemen.
28:38That's the end of the show.
28:39Please show your appreciation to our panel.
28:41Colin Murphy.
28:42Andrew Ryan.
28:43Tony Doherty.
28:44And Neil Delamere.
28:50All right.
28:55I'm Tim McGarry.
28:56Until next week, don't blame yourselves.
28:57Blame each other.
28:58Goodbye.
28:59Balloon operatic music.
29:00¡No!
29:01Beats!
29:02Balloon operatic music.
29:03�
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