- 8 hours ago
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00:00...
00:02...
00:04...
00:06...
00:18...
00:20...
00:22...
00:24...
00:28I
00:52dreamt too, gone
00:53in the night
00:55but I looked and
00:59you weren't there
01:02just a dream
01:05I know
01:07I'm sorry
01:18I've come to think of it mate
01:21I had a pretty weird dream too
01:24yeah
01:25oh yeah
01:26pretty weird alright
01:28I dreamt that someone told me
01:31that they hated being a shitty navigator
01:34and wanted to be a salesman
01:37wild
01:40what?
01:42bad
01:44bad
01:45what?
01:46oh my god
01:48it was real
01:55what do you reckon then?
01:56you ready?
01:57now?
01:58now
01:59good a time as any
02:02okay
02:04we can't be crying though can we?
02:07hey
02:09not gonna look too good is it?
02:15please can you buy more stuff?
02:19not gonna go down well is it?
02:22no
02:23well then
02:27you know my old man was in antiques
02:30when I was little he used to take me out in his van
02:32find some rundown old place
02:34a real drum
02:36owned by some rich biddy
02:37with a load of filthy cats
02:38and he'd go in
02:40and honestly
02:42before I had time to finish my sandwich
02:44out he'd come with a nice little queen and dressing table
02:48yeah the gift wild man
02:52the talent
02:54taught it to me
02:55and now
02:56I'm handing that to you
03:01you understand?
03:06okay
03:15Christ
03:17didn't happen to notice the whole creep in and beat the crap out of me last night did ya?
03:21alright ready Mr. Salesman
03:30one more time
03:31we have here on offer
03:33the finest range
03:34of creams
03:36lotions and balms
03:38and you'll find this
03:39and you'll find this
03:41colour
03:42collagen
03:43with elastic
03:44elastin rich
03:46elastin rich cream
03:48which will improve your skin smoothness
03:50and make you look younger
03:52but
03:53what if I forget?
03:54well then make up
03:56remember she's not buying
03:58the product
03:59she's buying you
04:02and who are you?
04:05who the fuck are you?
04:07I'm bunny munro
04:09that's absolutely fucking right
04:11tell me again
04:12I'm bunny munro
04:13I'm bunny munro
04:15and
04:17elastin rich cream
04:20will improve
04:22moisture
04:24up to 300%
04:26but
04:29I don't think you need it
04:32actually dad I
04:34think you've got the wrong house
04:36okay I can't cope
04:38take my money
04:40really?
04:41I'd buy a dose of poison off you
04:42you little cutie
04:44I'll have two bottles
04:46okay
04:47you know what
04:48when you see that
04:49dad and his boy just
04:51it just gets me
04:52you know
04:54right here
04:57where?
04:58what I mean?
04:59why don't you go and wait outside while I take care of the boring old paperwork yeah?
05:15okay dad
05:16it was nice to meet you
05:19hey
05:21well done me
05:23thanks dad
05:24thank you
05:27oh god
05:31thank you
05:49are you a dad in my house?
05:52we're salesmen
05:55he's given a one
05:57he's the best salesman in the world
06:00he could sell your bicycle to a barracuda
06:04what?
06:06it's a predatory fish
06:08it's jaws are armed
06:09with hundreds of razor-like teeth
06:11oh
06:14you can hear her from miles away
06:16she sounds like a strangled chicken
06:21my mum died
06:22wish my mum would die
06:23wish my mum would die
06:33you right Tony?
06:35what's your trouble?
06:36for fuck's sake?
06:49no
06:51no
06:53no
06:54no
06:55no
06:57no
06:58no
06:59no
07:00no
07:01What's he like?
07:03He's alright, I guess.
07:07Dad bought me this.
07:09The bike?
07:11No, just the bell.
07:13It's a really cool bell.
07:15You think so?
07:17Yeah, it's great.
07:19Junior!
07:25Junior, get in the car!
07:27Hello?
07:29Hello?
07:31Bye then.
07:33Hi.
07:37Okay.
07:39Yeah, look like these.
07:41I'm quite alright, Dad.
07:43Everything's absolutely fucking perfect, my boy.
07:45That's what fucking crazy!
07:47I've got to be down in the lab!
07:49Fuck!
07:53I'm telling you, buddy, boy, nothing like getting your pipes cleaned first thing in the morning.
07:59Who was your mate?
08:03She just came and talked to me.
08:07Oh, right.
08:11Fancy her, did she?
08:13Dad.
08:14Alright.
08:15She did, though, I can tell. She had that special light in her eyes.
08:17Yeah?
08:18Yeah.
08:19Telling you, buddy, boy, I can spot it a mile off.
08:21Maybe I should give her one.
08:27Well, one day, buddy, boy.
08:29One day.
08:33So, where are we going next?
08:37I don't know. Check the list.
08:39I don't have the list.
08:41I don't have the list.
08:42What do you mean you don't have the list?
08:43You had the list.
08:44Well, where did I put it?
08:45I don't know.
08:46Oh, I must have left it, but, er...
08:49Fuck.
08:54Do we need it?
08:55We're salesmen, aren't we?
08:56Yeah.
08:57Well, how the fuck are we going to be salesmen with no customers?
08:59So, should we go back and get it?
09:02Listen.
09:03I'm going to teach you the first rule of salesmanship, okay?
09:06No, fuck it.
09:07The first rule of being a man, never go back.
09:10So, what are we going to do?
09:12Just stop flapping your feet about.
09:14I'll work it out.
09:17Morning.
09:21She's the social worker from my house.
09:26Fuck it.
09:29Tell you what, bunny boy.
09:32Why don't you head next door?
09:33Grab yourself some sweets.
09:36Then have a little sit outside.
09:37Too nice to be cooped up indoors, eh?
09:39Thanks.
09:40Good boy.
09:45Right, then.
09:47Okay.
09:48So, what happens now?
09:49I call the police.
09:50Police?
09:52What the fuck are you talking about?
09:54Mr Monroe, a Section 20 Child Protection Order
09:56had already been filed when you absconded...
09:57The what?
09:58We didn't.
09:59When you absconded.
10:00We didn't.
10:01It's now been escalated to a missing person.
10:02And the police are looking for you.
10:03He's not missing.
10:04Is he?
10:05He's right here with me.
10:06Stop.
10:07Listen.
10:08His mother has just died in the most tragic of circumstances,
10:11and I can't begin to explain the effect that has had on him.
10:14It's a fucking tragedy, if you must know.
10:16Right now, that boy needs his father.
10:24Don't do it.
10:25What are you doing?
10:26You know there's a pay phone down the road.
10:27I know.
10:28We'll be gone by the time you reach, yeah?
10:29The door won't open until it's finished, Billy.
10:33Fuck.
10:34Yeah.
10:35He's just a child, Mr Monroe.
10:36He's my boy.
10:37You're just showing him the ropes.
10:38I'm sorry about your wife, Mr Monroe, but this is what's best for Bunny Junior.
10:51I do hope that one day you understand.
11:03What you gonna do?
11:13Ready, boy?
11:14Come on.
11:15Look lively.
11:18Come on.
11:22Good boy.
11:29I gave you a list.
11:30I know you did.
11:31I need a new list.
11:32Well, those were good leads.
11:33They'll give me some more good leads.
11:35I can't keep giving up good leads every time somebody loses a list.
11:38I didn't lose it.
11:40What happened to me then?
11:41Jesus Christ.
11:42Geoffrey, have you ever heard of an act of God?
11:44What's that mean?
11:45It means it wasn't my fault.
11:46So, Geoffrey, sweetheart, I'm gonna get in the car,
11:48and I'm gonna come to the office,
11:50and I'm gonna get the list.
11:51No, no, no, no, no.
11:52I wouldn't do that, my friend.
11:53You know, I've had the police in here asking lots of questions about you.
11:56It's probably best if you lay low for a bit, Bun.
11:58What?
12:00Why?
12:01That woman called them.
12:02The one with the missing money.
12:07And what did you tell them?
12:08I told them that I didn't know where you were.
12:09Did you tell them that I didn't take it?
12:11Did you tell them that I wouldn't do that?
12:15Geoffrey?
12:17Geoffrey!
12:18I told them that I didn't know where you were.
12:20For fuck's sake!
12:21For fuck's sake!
12:42Dad?
12:43Are we going back to the office?
12:44No.
12:46Then we need another list?
12:47Yeah.
12:48So, how...
12:57Second rule of being a man.
12:59Make sure you've got at least one mate, I'll never let you down.
13:03It helps if he thinks the sun shines out of your arse.
13:07So don't aim too high.
13:08Hello, you dirty cunt.
13:09All right, poodle.
13:10I can't get to the phone right now, so if you leave a message after the beep, I'll follow back.
13:19I know where we'll be.
13:21We're going to the pub.
13:22The pub?
13:25Cool.
13:32I'll be in the pub.
13:51You alright, bud?
13:52Right, bud?
13:53Poodle.
13:55Uh, Gaz, has Poodle been in you?
13:57No, I've not seen it.
13:58Junior, come here. Sit down, I'm going to put them on my way.
14:03Okay.
14:04Large scotch and a coke, yeah? A coke.
14:08Make it quick, eh, Bun? You know your lad ain't supposed to be eating.
14:11Yeah, yeah, I know.
14:14No school today?
14:21Oi! What are you doing?
14:28I feel so cold.
14:36Dad, when are you going to go home?
14:42You want to be a top salesman?
14:44Yeah, of course.
14:45Well, top salesmen have got to be like sharks.
14:48Roofless, efficient, killer sharks, okay?
14:51Okay.
14:54You know what happens to a shark if it stops moving?
14:57What?
15:06He suffocates.
15:27Well, drop me! It's the boys!
15:28Hi, Guru.
15:29All right, Guru?
15:30All right, Guru?
15:31Ha, ha, ha!
15:32Crap!
15:33Are you actually steaming me?
15:34Hi, Guru.
15:35What are you doing in here, little man?
15:36Just having a quick one.
15:37You, my little friend, are just too much.
15:38What, you were too busy to come and have a drink with your old pal?
15:40Come on now, as if I'm ever too busy for my mate, Guru.
15:41Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
15:42Good to see you.
15:43Good to see you.
15:44Good to see you.
15:45Gary, couple of scotches.
15:46And another coat.
15:47Yeah, in a minute.
15:48Show your appreciation for Guru.
15:49Not gonna lie, I've been pretty fucking busy working my list, mate.
15:50You're pretty steaming, mate.
15:51I'm steaming, mate.
15:52Hi, Guru.
15:53What are you doing in here, little man?
15:54Just having a quick one.
15:55Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
15:56Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
15:57You, my little friend, are just too much.
16:00What, you were too busy to come and have a drink with your old pal?
16:03Come on now, as if I'm ever too busy for my mate, Guru.
16:06Ha, ha, ha, ha!
16:09Good to see you.
16:10Ha, ha, ha, ha!
16:11Gary, couple of scotches.
16:13And another coat.
16:14Yeah, in a minute.
16:15Show your appreciation for Guru.
16:16Not gonna lie, I've been pretty fucking busy working my list, mate.
16:19Oh, yeah.
16:20Pretty fucking busy, you're pretty busy fucking.
16:22Well, I do like to go above and beyond for my customers.
16:24Oh, yeah.
16:25I know.
16:26What a fucking...
16:28What?
16:29You all right?
16:31What's that?
16:33A few drinks with the boys?
16:36What more could I ask for?
16:38Daddy.
16:39All right.
16:40Listen.
16:41I think I need a wee actually, Dad.
16:43Yeah, go on.
16:44Over there.
16:45So, Poop, mate.
16:46Been a bit of a hot streak, actually.
16:48Managed to go right through my list.
16:50So, I was gonna ask if...
16:53there was any chance I could...
16:56Hey.
16:59You sure you're all right, mate?
17:01Come on, man.
17:05Poop!
17:06What are we doing?
17:08Poodle.
17:09Poodle.
17:10I need a word mate.
17:12Poodle.
17:13Yeah.
17:14Poodle.
17:15Nice.
17:16Hot streak.
17:19Poodle.
17:20That's right.
17:21Poodle.
17:23Poodle.
17:24Poodle.
17:29Poodle.
17:30Poodle.
17:31Poodle.
17:32Poodle.
17:33Poodle.
17:34Oh, yeah.
17:35Poodle.
17:36No!
17:43What?
17:50Weird isn't it?
17:58You don't have to understand, you know.
18:01It's okay to be a little boy.
18:04I love spaceships.
18:06Beatles.
18:15Who, what?
18:17God.
18:18…
18:20…
18:21…
18:28…
18:29…
18:31…
18:32Go the fucking way!
18:33Fuck off!
18:36Stop! Fucking move it!
18:37Take...
18:45What have we done?
18:47Sit down!
18:48Run!
18:52Move the fucking arm!
18:57Move it on the fucking way!
18:59Jokey, you fucker!
19:01Hey poodle!
19:02Show it to me!
19:03What?
19:04It's alright guys, he's had a few too many, mate.
19:06Back the fuck up!
19:07Go on!
19:08Go on!
19:09Show me!
19:10Show me!
19:11Fuck this!
19:12Fuck inside!
19:13Calm it down, now!
19:14Fuck this!
19:15Fuck off!
19:16Hey!
19:17Hey!
19:18You want a pussy?
19:19Come here, come here, come here, come here!
19:20Fuck you!
19:21What's the matter with you?
19:23Let's get you another drink.
19:29Sorry, is this your room?
19:34Oh, you're alright.
19:48Are you here with your dad?
19:50Christ.
19:51You didn't fancy the form affair, no?
19:52I'm not a little kid.
19:53Alright, mate.
19:54You're a salesman.
19:55On the road.
19:56I'll be going soon.
19:57Alright.
19:58Work him on, is it?
20:00Won't be wanting any of this then.
20:01Come on.
20:02Come on.
20:03Poo, what's that with you, eh?
20:04She's gone!
20:05A salesman. On the road. We'll be going soon.
20:11Alright. Working man, is it?
20:25Won't be wanting any of this then.
20:29Come on, Pooh. What's that with you, eh?
20:32She's gone.
20:33What are you talking about, mate? Who's gone?
20:35Anna.
20:37My Anna, she's fucked off, Bond, and it's like...
20:41You're my mate, aren't you?
20:43Yeah, of course.
20:46It's like she took it with her.
20:48All of a sudden, it's gone.
20:51I can't make a sale, I can't fuck, I can't...
20:57It doesn't work anymore.
20:59Alright.
21:01Don't panic.
21:02Okay?
21:03It's just one of those things.
21:05Happens to everyone.
21:08Has it happened to you?
21:09Well, no.
21:13But...
21:15It's happened to people I know.
21:19Do you mean me?
21:23Yeah.
21:24No, don't worry.
21:25Poor old Bond will sort you out.
21:26Gary, get us a couple more drinks, would ya?
21:30You alright?
21:31Yeah.
21:32I should go.
21:36My dad's probably wondering where I am.
21:37Back to work, right?
21:38Working man.
21:39Actually...
21:40Actually...
21:41Can I please have some?
21:42Can I please have some?
21:43Yeah.
21:44Can I please have some?
21:45Yeah.
21:46You alright?
21:47Yeah.
21:48I should go.
21:49Yeah.
21:50I should go.
21:51Yeah.
21:52I should go.
21:53My dad's probably wondering where I am.
21:56Back to work, right?
21:59Working man.
22:02Working man.
22:05Actually...
22:09Can I please have some?
22:14Take it.
22:16Thanks.
22:19Good luck.
22:21You'll see.
22:25Everything's gonna be alright.
22:27Thanks, Bonnie.
22:32Thanks.
22:33Thanks.
22:34Thanks.
22:37It's good to see you, mate.
22:38You too.
22:39Yeah?
22:40Yeah.
22:41Yeah.
22:47I didn't just come in to say hello, though, you know.
22:51I was after a bit of a favour, actually.
22:56What favour?
22:58Look, the truth is...
22:59I ran into a spot above her.
23:01Caught in my pants down, you know how it goes.
23:03And I managed to lose my list.
23:06I was gonna ask for a couple of names of yours, but...
23:10Actually, if you're not in the zone right now, then maybe I should take the whole thing off your hands.
23:15What do you reckon?
23:17That's why you're here.
23:20That's why you've come to see me.
23:21Fucking...
23:22Yeah.
23:23I'm not being rude, Poo, but do you really think I've got time to be sitting around listening to your sob stories?
23:27It's your fault.
23:28What?
23:29You fucked her.
23:30After the wake.
23:31Who?
23:32Annie.
23:33Did I?
23:34No, please.
23:35Poodle, what does it even fucking matter?
23:44Poo!
23:45Poo!
23:46Poo!
23:47Poo!
23:48Poo!
23:49Poo!
23:50Poo!
23:51Poo!
23:52Poo!
23:53Poo!
23:54Wait!
23:55What are you?
23:56What the fuck are you off now?
23:57Get the fuck...
23:58Poo!
23:59Poo!
24:00You're a cunt, Poo!
24:01Poo!
24:02A true, proper, total cunt!
24:04I've been your best mate for years, and I love you, but you don't give a fuck about anybody
24:09but Poo!
24:10Poo!
24:11Poo!
24:12Poo!
24:13Poo!
24:14Poo!
24:15Poo!
24:16Poo!
24:17Poo!
24:18Poo!
24:19Poo!
24:20Poo!
24:21Poo!
24:22Poo!
24:23She had a condition.
24:24You knew that.
24:25Everyone knew that.
24:26She was ill.
24:27There's nothing me or anyone could do about that.
24:29It wasn't my fault.
24:30None of this is my fault.
24:34If you want to hold onto a bird for two fucking minutes, Poo, maybe try not being such a
24:38fucking loser.
24:39Lost it.
24:40Lost what?
24:41Lost it.
24:42You never fucking had it.
24:43You're a part-timer, mate, and also ran.
24:45And if your bird were so special, why don't I even remember fucking her?
24:50Poodle.
24:51Poodle!
24:52Poodle!
24:53Poodle!
24:54Poodle!
24:55Poodle!
24:56Dad?
24:57Poodle!
24:58I want you to say sorry to me.
24:59Poodle!
25:00Say sorry!
25:01Poodle!
25:02Say sorry!
25:03Poodle!
25:04I want you to say sorry to me, say sorry, say sorry and then will you give me the fucking
25:17list?
25:18Oh my god, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know.
25:41Fucking hell, it's alright mate, it's alright, I've called the police, my wife's on the phone
25:54to an ambulance, it's alright, did you see the number plate, help is on the way, just
26:00stay as still as you can, wait where the fuck are you going, you can't just fuck off,
26:06wait, wait, wait, how's it going, you can't just fucking leave?
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