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00:00I think I should go.
00:24What? No.
00:25The night should end, don't you?
00:28The night doesn't have to end now.
00:29Oh.
00:30How exactly do you see the night ending, then?
00:32I don't know.
00:33Maybe we stay the night.
00:35Slipping into some of those fancy robes they have.
00:38I'm gonna go see if they have any rooms open.
00:46Gonna buy you a drink?
00:48Sorry?
00:49I'd like to buy you a drink.
00:51How about, uh, martini?
00:54Yeah.
00:55A vodka martini for the lady?
00:57Mm-hmm.
00:58I'm actually with my boyfriend.
00:59That guy?
01:00No, he's no good for you.
01:02You'd be better off with someone else.
01:04Aren't you a little old for me?
01:06I am indeed, but I'm not buying you a drink to hit on you.
01:11Why else would you buy me a drink?
01:13Oh, what's going on?
01:14This guy bought me a drink.
01:16Says you're no good for me.
01:18Oh, yeah.
01:19Mind your own business, Grandpa.
01:21Well, that's the thing, Steve.
01:24This is my business.
01:25See, I'm a private investigator.
01:27I was hired by your wife, Donna,
01:30to figure out whether you were having an affair.
01:32And since that's not Donna, it seems like you are.
01:36Yeah.
01:37Married.
01:38Last week, when he canceled your dinner
01:40because he was called into surgery,
01:42he was actually at his kid's dance recital.
01:45And he's not a surgeon.
01:47He manages a Pep Boys.
01:49Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.
01:51Look, I don't know what she's paying you,
01:53but I will double it
01:55if you forget what you saw here tonight.
01:57Plus, free oil changes for life.
02:00That's not how this works, chum.
02:03You see, private investigators like myself,
02:06we obey a strict code of honor.
02:09We don't do this for the money.
02:11We do this to pursue the truth
02:13because the truth is all the...
02:15Oh, jeez.
02:17I'm so sorry.
02:19My leg's asleep.
02:21That ever happened to you?
02:22Oh, gross.
02:23Oh, man.
02:24I must have sat on that stool too long.
02:26Just give me a second here.
02:29Come here.
02:30It feels so weird.
02:32It's like, whose leg is this?
02:34Ah, shoot.
02:36Anyway.
02:38You folks have a great night.
02:42See now I got you that drink?
02:44Hmm.
02:52Nice composition.
02:54You're really coming into your own
02:56as a photographer of gross dudes.
02:58Had a lot of practice.
03:00Yep.
03:01They're always cheating.
03:03They're always cheating.
03:04Nine cases in the last year.
03:07They're all the same.
03:08Client says, I think he's having an affair.
03:11I follow the guy for a couple of days.
03:14Then I catch him in a very suave way
03:17where my body functions normally.
03:20What?
03:21I want a real PI case.
03:24Something I can sink my teeth into.
03:26Something juicy, like Pacific View.
03:29Okay.
03:30First of all, you're not a real PI.
03:32You're an unlicensed trainee.
03:34Second, these cases?
03:35The ones that you've been assisting on?
03:37This is the job.
03:38Most PI work isn't juicy.
03:41It's dull.
03:42Pacific View is one in a million.
03:47We have a walk-in?
03:48Julie Kovalenko?
03:49Yes.
03:50Jack Barringer, president of Wheeler College.
03:52This is our provost, Holly Bodgemark.
03:54The provost is basically vice president.
03:56I was gonna Google it after they left.
03:58What can we do for you?
03:59This morning, my laptop was stolen.
04:02Okay.
04:04I don't think you need to hire a private investigator.
04:07What's the laptop worth?
04:09A thousand bucks?
04:10This laptop is worth $400 million.
04:13Juicy.
04:17These are standard NDAs.
04:20Regardless of whether we take the case,
04:22everything we discuss will stay within these walls.
04:24Good.
04:25Because this is a delicate situation.
04:28I've been president of Wheeler College for two years.
04:31Ever since I arrived, I've been trying to get our richest graduate
04:34to make a donation.
04:36His name is Brad Vinnick, CEO of Vinnick Capital.
04:39I know that name.
04:41Wait.
04:42Is he?
04:43What else am I supposed to do?
04:45I will not apologize for being successful.
04:47These complaints about my private jet use are absurd.
04:50Your plane has made two round-trip flights
04:53from San Francisco to Aspen every day for four years.
04:57My dog is in San Francisco.
05:00My dog, Walker, is in Aspen.
05:03What else am I supposed to do?
05:06That unfortunate interview notwithstanding,
05:10Vinnick is worth about $6 billion.
05:13Like all small colleges, Wheeler is struggling,
05:16and it is a really special place.
05:18You don't have to tell me.
05:19My daughter went there.
05:21And my son-in-law.
05:22Love to hear it.
05:23Go Acorns.
05:24I got Vinnick to pledge $400 million to keep Wheeler afloat.
05:28We shook hands on the terms last night.
05:30This morning, I got to my office, my laptop was stolen,
05:33and I received this email from somebody called Wheeler Guardian.
05:39Brad Vinnick is a lying snake.
05:42You take one dollar of his blood money,
05:44I spill all your secrets.
05:46What secrets are on your laptop?
05:48Hell if I know.
05:50It doesn't matter.
05:51It's messy.
05:52And billionaires hate messy.
05:54I don't want him freaking out if he somehow finds out
05:56that two years ago I had a botched calf implant in Miami.
05:59Hypothetically.
06:01We can't go to the police because we can't afford a scandal,
06:04but the actual contract won't be signed for months.
06:07And if the blackmailer succeeds in sabotaging Vinnick's donation,
06:11Wheeler College may just disappear.
06:14Well, let us talk it over.
06:17There's no need. We'll take the case.
06:20This is clearly an inside job.
06:25Every single faculty member could be a suspect,
06:30which means you have to find someone from outside the school
06:33to go undercover and investigate.
06:37Your only chance to save Wheeler College is if you have...
06:42Okay, let's start with the basics.
06:51That's your ID card on top.
06:53That gets you into any door on campus.
06:55Also, inside the folder is the list you requested.
06:57Everyone working on campus the night the laptop was stolen.
07:00Students don't arrive until next week,
07:02so for now it's just faculty.
07:04How many of these people knew about the donations?
07:06No way to know.
07:07I mean, it hasn't been announced officially,
07:09but gossip travels fast around here.
07:11The laptop was stolen off Jack's desk next door.
07:14I can show you his office.
07:16It used to be four small offices, but Jack had it remodeled.
07:20He said he needed a private bathroom more than he needed an HR department.
07:24Please don't touch anything. Jack is very fastidious.
07:28Okay, we should start by reviewing any camera footage that you have,
07:32along with geolocation data from the swipe cards.
07:36We should start that way, but we can't because our cameras broke years ago,
07:40and we can't afford to get them fixed.
07:41Aspirin?
07:45Nicotine gum.
07:46I don't even chew it anymore.
07:48It works faster if it goes right to the stomach.
07:50How many people had access to this room?
07:53Anyone with a swipe card, which is everyone.
07:55And to answer your next question, our system is so old,
07:58we can't even track who went in what door.
08:01Friday we are unveiling Vinnick's official portrait as a distinguished graduate.
08:05Part of the charm offensive.
08:07Most of the people on that list will be at the party.
08:09Okay, since Charles is undercover, you likely won't see me unless we meet at my office.
08:14I am off to a meeting for another case.
08:16See you at the party Friday.
08:18Until then, I will be engaging in PLOP.
08:22P-L-O-P.
08:26Prepare, Learn, Observe, Pursue.
08:29PLOP.
08:30Is that a spy term?
08:32It's a famous one.
08:34I'm not sure who invented it.
08:37Uh, some genius probably.
08:40Okay.
08:41Off to PLOP.
08:43So much worse when you use it as a verb.
08:46Hm.
08:58Hi.
08:59Now a good time?
09:00Yeah, yeah, yeah.
09:01Have a seat.
09:02Can I get you anything?
09:03Water?
09:04Calcium supplement?
09:05Knee brace?
09:06I'm good.
09:07Okay, so my stupid company keeps merging with other stupid companies.
09:12Uh, Bynum Southwest Pacific is forming a strategic partnership with Northeast Atlantic Retirement.
09:17The new company will be called Southwest Northeast Atlantic Pacific.
09:22Catchy.
09:23Yeah.
09:24So we're gonna have a bunch of new employees and we need to do some background checks.
09:27Um, do you want the job?
09:29Well, to be honest, I'm a little surprised you want to hire me given that you once called me a remorseless, bottom-feeding, two-faced rat.
09:41Yeah, I did.
09:42Mm-hmm.
09:43But that's water under the bridge.
09:45I gotta admit, you did a great job on the case with Gladys.
09:49And honestly, I'd rather have somebody I know in turn to this.
09:52Okay.
09:53Yeah.
09:54Send me the files.
09:55Great.
09:56Hey, uh, Nancy's stuck in her bathtub again, and she's not alone.
10:00Oh, hey, Froggy.
10:01How's it going?
10:02You wanna help me with something?
10:05Well, by all means, save Wheeler College.
10:08I mean, it's the best.
10:09Do you realize that it's almost the 25-year anniversary of when we first met?
10:13Tell me again how it happened exactly.
10:15Well, we were on the freshman orientation camping trip.
10:20Literally day one.
10:21And I looked at him, and he looked at me, and I said, do you know anything about camping?
10:28And I said, not one thing.
10:30And then we smiled at each other, and I felt like I got struck by lightning.
10:37And then, like, two weeks later, she introduced me to you guys?
10:41Yeah.
10:42Oh, I remember.
10:43You had a very interesting hairdo.
10:45Look, Adam Duritz of the Conning Crows convinced a lot of guys my age that they could pull off dreads.
10:51I made a lot of bad choices.
10:53And one great one.
10:55Good save!
11:00Julie, it's 7-12 a.m., day five.
11:05This is the first of my weekly reports.
11:08I once again object to doing these weekly instead of daily.
11:13Too bad.
11:14They're boring.
11:15I know you think they're boring.
11:17But in a case like this, every detail is crucial.
11:21My class will meet Monday and Wednesday in Burnham Hall, room 331.
11:28Fun fact.
11:30Thornton Burnham, for whom the building was named.
11:33Boring!
11:35The campus is small.
11:37It's only about 116 acres.
11:41That's just shy, and I do mean just shy, of 47 hectares.
11:47Oh, my God.
11:49Anyway.
11:50During my first week of PLOP, I met a number of possible suspects.
11:57Andrea Yee, professor of economics.
12:00Very upbeat.
12:01You must be going to this event on Friday.
12:03Who is Brad Vinnig?
12:05He's a multi-billionaire grad, supposedly making a huge donation.
12:09Hopefully, some of it goes to the econ department, because God knows I could really use a raise.
12:14You know, I haven't bought a new bra in six years.
12:17That's not your problem, though.
12:20It's nice to meet you.
12:22You too.
12:23Not a likely suspect.
12:25Max Griffin, assistant professor of journalism, just published a book called The Fourth Estate, America's First Line of Defense Against the Second Coming of the Third Reich.
12:39Excited to read it.
12:40Don't be.
12:41It's terrifying.
12:43You a motorcycle guy?
12:44How'd you know?
12:45I always forget I'm carrying this thing around with me.
12:50I'm guessing you're not a big Brad Vinnig fan.
12:55You going to that party Friday?
12:57I'm not really interested in kissing the ass of a billionaire corporate oligarch.
13:01But they do serve these amazing tiny empanadas, so I might stop by.
13:07Slavaj Tishibili from linguistics, and Yarko Hovonen, professor of semiotics.
13:14What exactly is semiotics?
13:16I've never really known.
13:18Uh, it's a complicated subject.
13:22Yeah, it's hard to define.
13:24Contemporary post-Plumfeldian language analysis investigates phonology.
13:28But I did.
13:29John, you missed the point, John.
13:31You must start the signifier and signified.
13:34Move through structuralism to post-structuralism.
13:36No.
13:37No, that's very useful.
13:38Framework, you put it inside.
13:39You put the framework.
13:40What kind of carving?
13:41And he's going to come having such...
13:42I talked to them for about 20 minutes.
13:44No idea what they said.
13:45Let's just assume they're not suspects.
13:47But I may know someone who is.
13:50Charles Neuendijk, visiting lecturer in engineering.
13:53This is Dr. Benjamin Cole, head of our English department.
13:56Dr. Cole is a Wheeler College lifer and a very dear friend.
14:00Ah.
14:01And yes, before you ask, he has always been this way.
14:04So what's your specialty within the department?
14:08I teach romantic poetry and the 19th century novel.
14:12Just one novel?
14:13Sounds easy.
14:15Droll.
14:17If you'll excuse me, I have to get ready.
14:20I assume you're going to the cocktail party later for Brad Vinnick?
14:25I am, out of professional necessity.
14:28You don't approve of Vinnick?
14:29Do I approve of Vinnick?
14:31Did Antigonus approve of Aetisius?
14:35Boy, I don't know.
14:36Oh, I apologize.
14:38I forgot what you teach.
14:40I'll ask it in a way you can understand.
14:43Did Garfield approve of not having lasagna?
14:46Ah, come on now.
14:49Engineering is an advanced science.
14:52Oh, yes.
14:54That bridge is big.
14:56What if we built one that's bigger?
14:59Fascinating stuff.
15:01Dr. Benjamin Cole is my first suspect.
15:05He's prickly.
15:06He has an axe to grind.
15:08And he kind of hurt my feelings.
15:11More later.
15:12New and Dyke out.
15:14Okay.
15:15Okay.
15:16Any headlines?
15:18Couple small things.
15:19One woman left her job quite suddenly, but I think it's innocent.
15:23The other was just a public intoxication charge from college.
15:26Oh.
15:27That's a load off my mind.
15:28Thanks so much.
15:29Mm-hmm.
15:30So, how you been?
15:31Working any hot new cases?
15:33Yeah, we've been busy.
15:34Good.
15:35Same.
15:36Actually.
15:37Corporate just told me I have eight weeks of vacation I have to take by the end of the year.
15:43I have no idea where to go.
15:45Any recommendations?
15:46Hawaii.
15:47Oh, yeah?
15:48You love it there?
15:49I've never been.
15:50I don't take vacations, but I've heard people like it.
15:56Yes, I've also heard people enjoy Hawaii.
16:02Okay.
16:03Well, thank you so much.
16:06Hey, everything good at Pacific View?
16:18Maybe.
16:19What do you remember about Dee Dee Santos Cordero?
16:22Beloved leader, caught you red-handed, called you a remorseless bottom-feeding two-faced rat
16:27in an email I deleted before you could read it.
16:29I read it.
16:30She hated my guts, right?
16:32Until you and Charles went and apologized or whatever, yeah.
16:35Anything I can help with?
16:38No.
17:05Why?
17:06Why?
17:07Why?
17:08Why?
17:09Why?
17:10Why?
17:11Why?
17:12Too bad to ask you.
17:13Pretty ugly, isn't he?
17:15Sorry?
17:16Oh, the him?
17:18The him.
17:19Him?
17:21The him, yes.
17:24I mean, I suppose he's classically handsome.
17:27Square jaw and all that.
17:29But his soul, his soul is ugly.
17:36Charles Neuendijk, visiting in the engineering department.
17:41Mona Margadoff, professor of music theory.
17:45How long have you been here?
17:47Oh, gosh.
17:48I got my PhD in 1984.
17:51I came here a year later.
18:06Okay.
18:09That is too much.
18:11I'm so sorry, but there's no smoking in the museum.
18:15Really?
18:16Because I'm standing with the president here and he doesn't seem to mind.
18:19Right, Jack?
18:20Yeah, I do not.
18:21Claire, find Mr. Vinnick an ashtray, please.
18:24Thank you so much.
18:27Vinnick is unbelievable.
18:29We're paying for a cash bar at our own party and he's handing out $100 Cubans.
18:34Well, that brand of confidence is found only in the ultra-wealthy American male.
18:41And the fattest hippo in Central Africa.
18:43Yeah, news flash, the billionaire's a narcissist.
18:47So are you, Ben.
18:48And yet we still love you.
18:50Oh, well, excuse me, Elizabeth.
18:52I'm not a narcissist.
18:54I'm an egotist.
18:55Oh.
18:56There's a difference.
18:57He made a ton of money and now he wants to give some of it to us.
19:01Why does this upset you so much?
19:03The Wheeler Distinguished Graduate Award, traditionally given to poets, musicians and activists,
19:10will today be given to a man who's concerned only with his own coffers and whose sole talent is extraction and not contribution.
19:19He's a plague.
19:21They're more like him every day.
19:23Hell is empty and all the devils are here.
19:27This is The Tempest, Act One, Scene Two.
19:29Okay, well, throwing a party for a billionaire is a small price to pay to keep all our jobs, right?
19:35To keep this place alive?
19:36Yes, well, there is one price I'm willing to pay.
19:39Maxwell, may I buy you another drink?
19:42Yes, please.
19:43I agree with you.
19:49And I've been here ever since, so 1985 to 2025, that's 40 years.
19:57What?
19:58You asked me how long I'd been at Wheeler.
20:00Yeah, an hour ago.
20:02Right.
20:03Sorry.
20:04So, I compose music, and sometimes a song will pop into my head.
20:09And if I don't stop whatever I'm doing and go someplace very quiet and write it down, it'll disappear.
20:17Most people here are used to it. I forgot you're new.
20:21You look so familiar.
20:24Could we have met before, somehow?
20:26Possible, but most people our age recognize me from Lavender Highway.
20:35Now it's goodbye, baby.
20:38Well, it's goodbye, baby.
20:41Well, it's not like me to stay too long.
20:45I remember that song.
20:48Was that you?
20:50That was me.
20:51That was my band.
20:52I was 18 years old.
20:55We played at Woodstock.
20:57Wow.
20:58You know, we had weirdly similar lives.
21:02Because when I was 18, I was on the local news for growing a really large squash.
21:08So, I guess we both understand fame.
21:14Do you still perform?
21:15That song?
21:16No.
21:17Not since the band broke up 50 years ago.
21:20Hmm.
21:21People ask me to all the time, but I don't like living in the past.
21:25So, I have to make the rounds.
21:27Are you gonna stay for a while?
21:29I am.
21:31Good.
21:34Thank you, Claire.
21:35Hi.
21:38How are you guys?
21:39Good evening, Professor.
21:41How's it going?
21:43It's good.
21:44Making progress.
21:46Talked with Mona Margadoff.
21:48What's the deal there?
21:49What's going on with her?
21:51Do you mean, is she like a possible suspect?
21:54She's on the list I gave you.
21:55Huh.
21:57What about her husband?
21:58Is he a suspect?
22:00Uh, no.
22:01He died like 15 years ago.
22:03Huh.
22:04Copy that.
22:05Husband has alibi.
22:07Graveyard.
22:09Okay.
22:10Good.
22:12Ready to meet Vinnick?
22:14Well, yes.
22:15Nice.
22:17Hold up, sweetheart.
22:19Boom.
22:22Brad.
22:23Congratulations again.
22:24Um, this is Charles Newendike, visiting professor in engineering.
22:28Finally.
22:30A useful discipline.
22:31Huh.
22:32Might even lead to one of these kids getting a job.
22:34All these pointless subjects.
22:36Philosophy, art history, fashion design.
22:39Hey, look.
22:40It's my senior thesis.
22:41Pants.
22:43Oh.
22:44Let me introduce you to my wife and daughter.
22:45Oh, yeah.
22:46I can see the family resemblance.
22:49Nope.
22:50That's the wife.
22:51This is Rebecca, my daughter from my first marriage.
22:55What?
22:56And this is my newest wife, Kelsey Rose.
22:59Hi.
23:00Isn't that so funny?
23:01The two of us?
23:02She's so much older than me, but she's my daughter.
23:04I was like, go to your room, little missy, and do your homework.
23:08I'll give you a nugget.
23:09I'll do it.
23:11I'm just kidding.
23:12Um, I'm gonna go look at my portrait, Charles.
23:14Entertain the troops.
23:15Are you married, Shuffles?
23:22It's Charles, and my wife passed away a couple years ago.
23:28Oh, I'm sorry.
23:29That's a bum-o.
23:31Woo!
23:32Tiny empanadas.
23:33Oh, my God.
23:36Oh, I don't want this.
23:38Sorry.
23:40So, how did your wife die?
23:42Julie, 6.48 p.m.
23:46I'm right in the middle of plopping.
23:49My next move will be to...
23:53Gotta go more later.
23:55Hello again.
23:56Hello again.
23:57Again, hello.
23:59I-I was, uh, I was wondering, because I'm new,
24:03whether or not you could just show me around campus a bit?
24:07I would like that.
24:08But first, I have an errand to run.
24:10Keep me company.
24:11Yes.
24:17Solved it.
24:19Solved the case.
24:21What case?
24:22The case of why you would hire me when you hated me so much.
24:26It didn't make sense.
24:27And then it hit me.
24:29You're playing a long game.
24:31You want revenge.
24:32So I went back to those employee files, and I dug a little deeper.
24:35Turns out the guy with the public intoxication charge has a juvie record.
24:40Sealed.
24:41Marijuana possession.
24:43You hire him.
24:44Find out about that.
24:46Blame me.
24:47Bad Yelp reviews.
24:48Complaints to the state board.
24:50Come after me.
24:51Take me down.
24:52That is your long game.
24:53I'm right.
24:55Right?
24:56Julie.
24:58That is the most delusional rant I have ever heard, and I work in elder care.
25:02Two of the residents think I'm Chita Rivera.
25:04Then why did you hire me?
25:05Because I needed background checks, and you're the only private investigator I know.
25:11Well, that's exactly what you would say if you were trying to take me down.
25:15All right.
25:16Okay.
25:17Just listen.
25:18This level of mistrust and paranoia is what we in the medical and psychological community
25:24refer to as cuckoo bananas.
25:27Maybe you should go to therapy and try to figure out what happened to you to make you like this.
25:32Oh, I know exactly why I'm like this.
25:37Solved that case years ago.
25:41Yeah.
26:02Hey, Blade.
26:03Hey, Mona.
26:04Tuba's right over there.
26:05Mm-hmm.
26:06Oh, this is Charles.
26:07Hey, Charles.
26:08Hi, Blade.
26:09I'm scared of Blade.
26:10Don't be.
26:11This place is great.
26:12They get a lot of good stuff from Columbia.
26:13Oh.
26:14Drums and musical instruments.
26:15Oh.
26:16They use them to smuggle cocaine across the border.
26:17Oh.
26:18Oh.
26:19I'm kidding.
26:20Charles, you think that Tuba's full of cocaine?
26:21Honestly, I have no idea.
26:23Oh, not full of cocaine.
26:24Yeah, I'll just take the Tuba.
26:25Long story short, because the department is broke, I have to go looking for used instruments
26:27all over Northern California, bring them back here, and refurbish them myself.
26:40Well, it seems like a lot of extra work for a tenured professor.
26:44What if a kid has always wanted to learn the Tuba, and she comes here, she goes to the
27:03music department, and there are no tubas, and that makes her sad?
27:08Can't have sad kids, can we?
27:11Let's just leave it here, I'll take it inside in the morning.
27:16No one's gonna, no one's gonna steal it?
27:20Well, not unless the unrefurbished Tuba Vanded escapes from Sing Sing, but I don't think
27:25that's gonna happen.
27:27I need to say something to you.
27:32I met my late wife, Victoria, right after grad school.
27:38She passed away a couple of years ago, and ever since, um...
27:44Charles, how old are you?
27:4776.
27:48I'm 74.
27:50We've both been through some shit, right?
27:55We both lost people we loved.
27:58We've both been through periods of joy and tragedy.
28:04We both opened for Fleetwood Mac at the Royal Albert Hall.
28:09Wait, sorry?
28:10Metaphorically.
28:11I mean, mine was literal, but my point is, people our age have this whole complicated
28:21life behind us, and we have God knows what ahead of us.
28:28Let's just be here.
28:31Now.
28:33Well, that was certainly...
28:49Since graduating in 1975, Brad Vinnick has achieved everything there is to achieve
29:08in the world of finance.
29:10To celebrate those accomplishments, we declare him this year's distinguished graduate, and
29:15we'll hang his portrait here in the Mildred Wheeler Historical Gallery.
29:30Oh, my God.
29:32Please help me get help.
29:36Huh?
29:45θ²·γŠγ‚γ‚Š
29:53ε‰ε›žγ«θΆŠγ—εˆ‡γ‚Š?
29:55γ‚„γ‚“
29:56γ‘γ‚Šγ‚“
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