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00:004 years of film school for this shit.
00:28Yep, $200,000 in debt and now you get to film another shitty pilot presentation for another fucking house flipping show.
00:41God, what a fucking loser.
00:44Kill me.
00:58Hello?
01:04Hello?
01:16You're too late.
01:17I already sold it.
01:20You scared me.
01:21There's no reason to be scared. There's always another home right around the corner, just waiting to be flipped.
01:27I'm Tripp Engold and you must be Wes.
01:31Yes.
01:32Look at you.
01:36Yeah.
01:38You got a really good energy about you, but you seem like a real professional.
01:42Oh, right. Uh, yes. I, I, uh, I brought my transcript for your request and then also my degree in cinematography.
01:48That's, there's no need. I already called the university and vetted you.
01:51I'm sorry to be such a stickler on the hiring process, but professionalism is very important to me, Wes.
02:00How do you feel about it?
02:02Uh, about what?
02:05Professionalism.
02:08I, I'm, uh, for it in general.
02:10I think it's the single most important quality a human being can possess.
02:14I think the lack of it is the reason our society has gone off the rails. Don't you agree?
02:19Uh, yeah. Uh, totally.
02:21Of course. Permission to hug?
02:23Okay.
02:24Coming in any, okay.
02:26Okay. I hope you're ready to get going because we are going to make magic.
02:30The first scene for the pilot of the greatest house flipping show ever made, flipped and sold with Tripp Engold.
02:37Okay. Are you rolling?
02:38I'm rolling.
02:39Okay. That's a problem because I know you're not rolling. I know this camera and when it's rolling, the red light is beeping and it's not beeping right now, Wes.
02:45Uh, no, no.
02:46You're not rolling, Wes! Look, look, look.
02:49I'm rolling. Look, the red light is on. Just take a look.
02:51You're lying. You're lying to me.
02:52I swear. Take a look at it.
02:54Man.
02:58I don't see it.
03:01I don't.
03:04I got you. I got you.
03:06Yeah, I know. You got me.
03:08Professionalism, Wes. The single most important quality followed closely by a good sense of humor.
03:15Okay.
03:17You're all right, Wes.
03:18I think this is gonna be a good day.
03:20I think this is gonna be a good day.
03:48You know, you did a really great job filming that intro back there, Wes.
03:58Oh, uh, thanks, man.
04:00Oh, 100%. Total pro.
04:02Are you gonna tell me how I did?
04:11Um, I thought you were great.
04:14Really?
04:15Yeah.
04:16Oh, that means so much coming from you.
04:17Sure.
04:18I really want to get this right.
04:19So many of these house flipping shows, they're just janky, you know?
04:23And not just the filmmaking, the flips themselves.
04:25They're downright unethical, you know?
04:27They ignore the fundamental issues of the homes, the plumbing, the electrical, and they think, what,
04:32could you just slap some 22-cent subway tile on it that it's a good flip?
04:36I don't think so.
04:37I don't think so.
04:38Yeah.
04:39Uh, y-yeah, totally.
04:41Yeah, you get it, man.
04:42You're so great.
04:43So, I think now would be a good time to get some B-roll, you know?
04:47I see this as the second part of the pilot, where some kind of funky music's playing,
04:51and I'm explaining to audiences that we're headed off to a remote section of the woods,
04:55we're gonna see this dilapidated, kind of creepy home, which, spoiler alert,
04:59of course is gonna be somebody's dream home.
05:01But right now, it's like, almost looks like a place you get murdered in, you know?
05:07So, yeah, look around.
05:08Get some stuff.
05:09Oh, okay.
05:14That's just some tools of the trade.
05:15I like to carry a shovel to dig into the foundation, make sure it's solid.
05:20Right.
05:21Um, and the, uh, with the plastic tarp?
05:28You ask a lot of questions.
05:31Well, like you said, I'm a professional.
05:36Okay.
05:39Plastic tarp is for some painting we're gonna do.
05:43Also, occasionally find some, uh, dead vermin underneath the house,
05:46and plastic's always good for carrying out bodies.
05:52That makes sense.
05:54Yeah, totally.
05:56Um, yeah.
05:57Um, could you remind me again where we're going?
06:06Yeah, it's just, uh, about 20 minutes up ahead here.
06:08We're getting there.
06:09Right.
06:12Um, what, what, what's the address?
06:14Why do you need the address?
06:16Um, I'm just, uh, curious.
06:22You're a squirmy little bugger.
06:23Look at you.
06:24You're shaking over there.
06:25Yeah, I, I, I think I, I think I need to go to the bathroom.
06:28Oh, well, there's not many rest stops out here.
06:30Not much of anything, but, you know, you can just wait until we get to the house.
06:33I'm, I'm just not, I'm not sure if I could hold it.
06:35Well, it's really close.
06:36You're fine.
06:37Right.
06:38It's, it's, it's number one.
06:39So, maybe, maybe you could pull over real quick and I could just-
06:42Well, there's no, there's no shoulder on the road.
06:43I wouldn't want anything bad to happen to you.
06:44I know, I just, I just, I really, I really, really gotta go.
06:47This came on kind of suddenly.
06:49Yeah, man, I don't know.
06:50I just, uh, I can't, um, I don't know.
06:53Can you, can you, I just, can you pull over please?
06:55No, I can't do it because it's dangerous.
06:57How do you, no, please stop.
06:59I just really gotta go.
07:00Hey, careful.
07:01Open this thing.
07:02Fuck.
07:03Fine.
07:04You gotta go?
07:05You gotta go.
07:06Whoa!
07:07Not very professional, Wes.
07:12Jesus.
07:15All right.
07:22Sure.
07:27It's a real bummer, Wes.
07:31Not only is this unprofessional, it's downright anticlimactic.
07:40I mean, I spent a lot of time in that house.
07:45It's a house of horrors, the likes of which we haven't seen since the climax of Home Alone 2.
07:54Oh no.
07:56Oh no.
07:58Please don't tell me.
07:59You're gonna make it this easy.
08:03It's okay.
08:05It's okay.
08:06This is just a little confusing is all.
08:09I mean, I'm confused, you know?
08:13It's all happening a lot faster than it normally does.
08:17It certainly does.
08:20I mean, part of me wants to stretch it out, you know?
08:24Like, put you around a little bit, I could chase you some more.
08:29But also, another part of me is like, this feels kind of sad.
08:34Please, I just...
08:43Yeah.
08:45It's sad.
08:46I think I can do this all over.
08:55Clean my calendar tomorrow.
08:58Find someone else.
09:00A little more professional.
09:01Oh my God.
09:12Didn't even come close to using you.
09:15Sorry, PF.
09:17Not your night.
09:21Maybe it's me.
09:23Maybe I'm getting rusty.
09:25It's on to me so quickly.
09:28Too many clues in the back seat, maybe?
09:32I wonder if I put the tarp...
09:35Yeah, just the tarp in the back.
09:37And then save the shovel.
09:39The big reveal of the house.
09:41Might be a...
09:58Yes!
10:00Thank God!
10:01Step away from the car!
10:02Oh!
10:03Okay!
10:04Thank God!
10:05Thank God you're here!
10:06Stop, stop, but do not move!
10:07Hands on your head!
10:08Yes!
10:09You got a mark.
10:10Yeah, but look!
10:11Look what happened!
10:12Look!
10:13Look!
10:14Hands on your head!
10:15Yes!
10:16We got a male.
10:1720s.
10:18Unconscious.
10:19It's my sweet cousin!
10:20It's my sweet cousin!
10:21That man killed him!
10:23Oh, God!
10:25He's in the woods and he's getting away!
10:26Get down on the ground!
10:27Right now!
10:28You don't understand!
10:29On the ground!
10:30On the ground!
10:31Okay, all right, okay, okay.
10:32You guys are great.
10:34You're great and you're very in command and you're doing a great job, but you're missing one very important thing.
10:39There is a man, a killer, who killed my friend and he is in the woods!
10:44Who are you talking about, sir?
10:46I don't know!
10:47Okay.
10:48I'm sorry.
10:49I'm just so stupid.
10:50I don't get his name.
10:52Tell us what happened step by step, sir.
10:56Okay.
10:57But it's really scary.
11:01There was a man.
11:04He was a bad man, but he didn't seem like it.
11:08He was a little weird and hyper, but he seemed harmless.
11:13And he hired me and Wes, my filmmaking partner, to film this pilot for this really interesting new house flipping type show, you know?
11:25And he had a cool take.
11:28It was like integrity and professionalism.
11:32Sir, please get to the point.
11:34Yes.
11:35I'm sorry.
11:36It's so...
11:40So are you okay?
11:42I feel like I'm in a horror movie.
11:45Is this real?
11:46Are you even real?
11:47Is this real?
11:48I'm sorry.
11:49I'm sorry.
11:50He put us in the car and he drove us out into these woods.
11:54And there was like...
11:56All these weird things started happening.
11:58Like I looked at the back and there was a shovel and there was a plastic tarp.
12:03And then...
12:04I looked at Wes and I was like, this is weird, right?
12:07And then...
12:08Wes is really smart.
12:10And he was like, sir, I have to go to the bathroom.
12:12And these guys are like, no, you can't go to the bathroom.
12:14We're almost to the house.
12:15And Wes is like, I really have to pee.
12:16And he's like, no.
12:17And so Wes just bolted out of the car.
12:19And he ran in that direction.
12:21And I ran in that direction.
12:22And the guy...
12:23He just chased Wes instead and he killed him.
12:26And he...
12:27And I feel guilty that I'm alive and he's not.
12:33But...
12:34But then I got...
12:35Wait, wait.
12:36I'm not finished.
12:37Hold on.
12:38That's when I got really brave.
12:40And I jumped on his back and I whacked him with a shovel like two times really hard.
12:45And he started wobbling.
12:46And he was like, get up.
12:47Okay, sure.
12:48Okay, okay.
12:49Stay down.
12:50Stay down.
12:51Right.
12:52But he was wobbling away.
12:53And so I said, I just got to grab Wes and put him in the car and take him to the police.
12:57And that's when you showed up.
12:59Why didn't you just call us?
13:02Because there's no cell phone.
13:03Get your hands out of your pockets.
13:05Stop yelling at me like I'm the bad guy.
13:09I'm the good one here.
13:11The bad guy is out in the woods and you are wasting your time here with me.
13:14I promise you.
13:15I'll stay here.
13:16I'll be a little well behaved nugget.
13:18So have you used any substances?
13:20No, I haven't used any substances.
13:21Please.
13:22One of you.
13:23I'm begging you.
13:24You.
13:25Or you.
13:26Go in the woods.
13:28He could be out there.
13:31Please.
13:34Go check it out.
13:36Sir.
13:38On the ground.
13:39And just wait here.
13:40Yes.
13:41Okay.
13:42Wearing a black button up shirt and silk black pants.
13:45Well, take care of it, sir.
13:46Just make sure you get the right one.
13:48Dispatch.
13:49This is Officer Marr.
13:50I'm out on Old Hutt Road.
13:52I need backup.
13:53We have an incident out here.
13:55About 50 yards off the turnout.
13:57I'll forgive that for 32.
13:58Thank you so much.
14:00Listen, Officer.
14:01I have a question.
14:02It's totally okay if this is a no, but my knees are really just barking at me.
14:07Is it okay if I just sit like crisscross applesauce?
14:09Sir.
14:10That is...
14:12Oh, thank you so much.
14:14That's fine, sir.
14:15Good at your job and kind too.
14:16I hope your friend's doing okay out there.
14:20This guy is really dangerous.
14:22I mean, I think he could be an actual serial killer.
14:26The poise, the charisma.
14:31He's just a real professional.
14:33Please be quiet.
14:34Sorry.
14:35I don't know.
14:40Copy.
14:43Is that backup calling in?
14:46Sorry.
14:47None of my business.
14:50Good thing for backup though, right?
15:05Did you always know you wanted to be a cop?
15:11That's personal.
15:12I'm sorry.
15:13I'm just curious about the whole process, you know?
15:16It's such an important job.
15:18You gotta be really good at it.
15:20So do they vet you?
15:21Is it like a really long school?
15:24Can anybody become a cop?
15:27So many people's lives in your hands, you know?
15:30It's like airline pilots, you know?
15:31You're just like, okay.
15:34He's flying us around.
15:35I hope he's competent.
15:53I know I'm talking a lot.
15:54Just two more quick things.
15:56First, I'm so sorry I was such a crazy person earlier.
15:59I'm together now.
16:00And secondly, thank you.
16:02Thank you for showing up and being so good at your job.
16:07There's no one out there.
16:09Yeah?
16:10Yeah.
16:11But I did find some blood and some evidence of a scuffle for sure.
16:15So let's not liein' about that.
16:18Not li- wait, you think I- you thought I was lying?
16:21We don't know what happened here, sir.
16:23Sir, all we know is that we found you dragging a dead body in a sheet of plastic heading towards your car.
16:29It's his car, not my car.
16:31Yeah, okay.
16:32But you're the only person out here.
16:34And we have a responsibility to go with only the evidence we have.
16:38So-
16:40Wes?
16:41Wes!
16:42You're alive!
16:43Easy, easy!
16:44Back away, sir!
16:45Back away!
16:46Sit down!
16:47Are you okay?
16:48Are you okay?
16:49Are you okay?
16:50You're okay, buddy?
16:51You're okay!
16:52Sir, we need you to be quiet so that we can ask your friends some questions.
16:55Slowly, slowly, slowly.
16:56Take it slow.
16:57Take it slow.
16:58Okay, sir.
16:59We got you.
17:00We got you.
17:01We got you.
17:02Easy breaths.
17:03Easy breaths.
17:04Okay.
17:05Sir, are you okay?
17:08I don't- I don't know.
17:10I- I don't-
17:11Sir, I'm a police officer.
17:13I'm here to help.
17:15I- I can't- I don't- I'm sorry.
17:17I can't really see you.
17:19I- I'm- Who are you?
17:20Who are you?
17:21I'm a police officer.
17:22I'm here to help.
17:23You are?
17:24Yeah.
17:25You are?
17:26Oh my God!
17:27Oh my God!
17:28Thank you!
17:29Thank you!
17:30Where is he?
17:31Where- Where is that horrible man?
17:33Which man?
17:34Which man?
17:35Who- Who are you talking about?
17:36The killer!
17:37The killer!
17:38He- He's wearing a black button-up shirt with some black pants and-
17:43I- He's so fucking evil.
17:45He- He's so evil.
17:46He- He- He- He- He-
17:49He said he was a real estate agent and he wanted to make a video for some stupid fucking house show and then-
17:54He- He- He chased me into the woods and then-
17:57He- He tried to kill me with a shovel.
18:01Okay, okay.
18:02All right, sir.
18:04Oh!
18:05Oh!
18:06Oh!
18:07Oh!
18:08Oh, wow.
18:09That's a lot of blood.
18:14Oh, boy.
18:15Oh, shit.
18:16We need to get him to a hospital.
18:17Okay, all right.
18:18Oh!
18:19Wait, wait.
18:20You're not finished questioning him yet, though.
18:21No, no.
18:22Get him in the ho- Get him to the hospital.
18:23Take him in.
18:24Take him in.
18:25I got him.
18:26I got him.
18:27Here we go.
18:28Here we go.
18:29Follow me.
18:30Sir, sir, we need you to back away.
18:31You're okay.
18:32You're okay.
18:33You're okay.
18:34Come on.
18:35Come on.
18:36Come on.
18:37It's okay.
18:38Sir, follow us to the hospital.
18:39Okay?
18:40Yes, and then we'll continue the questioning.
18:41Come on.
18:42Come on.
18:43Come on.
18:44Come on.
18:45Come on.
18:46Come on.
18:47Come on.
18:48Come on.
18:49Come on.
18:50Come on.
18:51Come on.
18:52Are you serious?
18:53Sir!
18:54Sir!
18:55What are you doing?
18:56Get back in the car.
18:57Follow us directly to the hospital.
18:59I have to talk to you about something.
19:01Get back in your car!
19:03It's going to be a bit uncomfortable, but it's very, very important.
19:04I don't know.
19:05It's your turn, man.
19:06Is he kidding me?
19:07No.
19:08No.
19:09We have somebody.
19:10I know!
19:11We have to get him into the hospital.
19:12One day!
19:13Go hand him down.
19:14Go fire him down.
19:15I'll go check him.
19:16Yeah!
19:17Oh, okay.
19:18We gotta get there.
19:19We gotta get there!
19:20Yeah, I know we gotta get there!
19:21I know we gotta get there!
19:23Yeah, I know we gotta get there!
19:24Yeah, he's gotta get there!
19:25Yes, I know!
19:26Oh, I know!
19:27I know, I know.
19:28I know.
19:29It's okay.
19:30Yeah, I know we gotta get there.
19:32Man, I know we gotta get there!
19:33Come on, man!
19:34Goddamn it. Sir, what are you doing?
19:36Thank you so much. Thank you.
19:37You have to follow us to the hospital.
19:39Turn around here so we can turn around and...
19:44No, no, no, no!
19:45Yeah, I'll be 23 back on that town property case,
19:48and I'll be 76 to the Williams Road address
19:51to see if I can put you...
19:53What I wanted to tell you
19:54is that you're incredibly unprofessional.
19:56You guys should not be letting people like me go.
20:12It's so disappointing.
20:15You're supposed to protect us.
20:23I don't know.
20:24Maybe it's me.
20:26Maybe I'm just getting old.
20:31Is excellence not a thing anymore?
20:35It's like all we're shooting for is just a...
20:38B minus.
20:43Everybody gets a trophy, you know?
20:45Sure, everybody gets a trophy.
20:48You get a trophy.
20:50You get a trophy.
20:52Everybody gets a trophy.
20:56I don't know.
20:56Oh, right.
21:26Oh, right.
21:56Oh, right.
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