Skip to playerSkip to main content
NovaStream
  • 6 hours ago
Transcript
00:00You
00:13What's your first impression happy you're super handsome the day we got married. I didn't know you I
00:19Chose marriage since then I've been choosing you every single day
00:30I always wanted to kiss my man at the top of the castle, so let's kiss the top of the castle
00:38Having been married before I'm familiar with the challenges and potential difficulties
00:43I feel like I'm constantly under evaluation never roll your eyes at me
00:46I find that very disrespectful if I didn't want to have kids. I would fucking tell you
00:52It's like what I'm saying doesn't matter one flippin bit
00:56And it's hurtful. It's just like why the fuck am I even talking?
01:01Decision days a little bit different for us and other couples. There's way more on the line given the pregnancy. I
01:08Hope that my future looks like she's the last smile I sleep
01:11She asked me if I would say yes on decision day and I said yeah
01:14I'm feeling of course, but I don't know how I'm gonna feel a month from now. I love you
01:17I've been committed and I'm going to stay committed. I
01:21Just called Brittany and let her know that I was gonna say no
01:26Oh
01:42Today's decision day and last night was the first night that we've actually spent a part this entire time
01:48So it was a little weird in the middle of night waking up and earn up being there
01:56After spending the night apart I had some time to really dive in on all the good and all the hard times and really interesting
02:04where things stand where I want to be and
02:07What's best for me and I'm feeling confident with my decision today
02:27All right, so we're almost there and
02:30Hopefully we both say yesterday. I put a lot of thought into it and I think that
02:36Jalen and I's marriage over the last eight weeks has been incredible. We've definitely had our ups and downs
02:42But I think we've had far more ups and our downs have always brought us closer. So I'm extremely thankful
02:48Oh
02:57Josh meet for the very first time Jalen
03:00Hi
03:02I'm just in awe
03:04I'm good. We're good. She is beautiful
03:07Holy cow. I'm gonna fall in love with this woman like no questions asked. So before we came. I just needed to
03:13Pick something up for you. Oh my god. This is crazy
03:25I just want you to know that I love you and I'm I'm sorry that I made you uncomfortable
03:30We understand that there's some stuff going on with trust issues
03:33I
03:36Basically panic responded and said that I had unfollowed my ex on social media when I hadn't
03:42So now I can't tell if he's someone who's just gonna be like yeah, whatever you want and then build resentment like
03:47He loves to go to festivals. Would he really be okay with never going again?
03:53I feel like because he only pictures
03:55Burning Man as this community type thing
03:58He doesn't view me in the same way that he views things like that
04:02You keep cutting me off. Oh my god
04:04All I need right now is for you to say
04:07You know what kind of person I am. My hobbies are like spin and
04:12The lake and like Josh likes to go to big festivals. What kinds of things do you like to do together?
04:19I don't want to feel like I'm just changing your life and making you give up things when you can go find that with somebody else
04:26I'm like that's where I stress out
04:31I
04:36Really care about her a lot and I see a great future for us
04:40But a decision day decides to take a turn the other direction then
04:45Definitely take a part of me with it
04:49I think my biggest reservations are just at the end of the day
04:52We are just so different people and we're in two different lanes right now in a lot of ways
04:58And so I feel like this is a make or break for me
05:00I think in the past anytime I saw a red flag I ended the relationship
05:05But now I'm married and it's just like I don't know what you work through and what you don't
05:10But I hope to feel confident and secure in my decision
05:15Hello
05:19How's it going looking good man? Thank you
05:23Like the suit very sharp Josh good to see you
05:26You too
05:27Good to see you
05:28Nice to see you
05:29You're looking great
05:30Yeah
05:32All right well
05:33So you guys haven't seen each other since when I saw her yesterday but we did spend the night apart
05:37How did you sleep?
05:38Honestly I mean I did wake up like a couple of times in the middle of the night tossing and turning
05:43Yeah
05:45Here she comes
05:46She's hot as always
05:52She's always hot
05:54Hi
05:57Hi dude
05:58Oh yeah you're looking so good
06:00Oh
06:01I love it
06:03Oh yay
06:04Okay
06:04So here we are
06:06Here we are
06:06All right
06:07You guys have gone through some things
06:10We're both smiling so I guess that's a good thing
06:11I know you're both smiling that's a good thing
06:12We like it
06:12I like that
06:13We like it
06:14You guys have gone through some some ups and some downs
06:18You know uh I like to think there are more ups than downs
06:21For sure
06:22And here you are on decision day
06:24How are you feeling about the day?
06:27There's definitely been a lot that we've gone through but I think
06:32How we move forwards past those things has given me a lot of faith
06:36So what have been some of the bigger challenges that you guys have faced in the last eight weeks?
06:40Understanding that like Josh and I are very different and like
06:43Just our lifestyle differences
06:45Um just learning how important that lifestyle is to him and how much it's far from what I'm interested in I think has been difficult
06:53You're talking about the festivals and burning man
06:56I'm hoping that Jalen can move past that and realize that we will be able to find those communities and we will be able to harness those same feelings
07:05That I felt you know within that it's just I still hold those communities very dear to me
07:10Of course
07:11And so I don't think that's ever going to change
07:13Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that in fact
07:15I mean we always hold dear the thing that brought us out of our shell
07:20Or the thing that helped us find ourselves
07:23You know that's something that's that's valuable and you should always hold that experience dear
07:29Yeah, I mean I feel good knowing that he's also
07:32Prioritizing us and like finding new things for us because at first it just didn't feel like that was possible
07:38So I think I feel really good with
07:41Knowing that we have plans for that to be balanced while we figure out what we want to build together
07:47Aside from that lifestyle that he had but we haven't had time to see it in action like that's my worry
07:54I don't want him to say yes if he's gonna change his mind and then he resents me
08:01Like
08:03At the end of the day, I don't see it being a problem
08:05You know, I feel like I hold myself on a higher, you know level than that
08:09So I I just don't see that being the case
08:12So with that in mind
08:18The time has come for you to decide
08:22Do you want to stay married or do you want to get a divorce?
08:31You know, we've definitely had our ups and we've had our downs
08:35But I have so much faith in like how we are able to communicate and move past difficult situations
08:41That I
08:43Don't for one second think that we will ever come to a hurdle that we can't jump over and become stronger in the other end
08:52And I couldn't imagine it being with anybody else so
08:57I would love to stay married to you
09:04Josh and I are very different in like a lot of ways
09:07But I think our core values and like who we are as people I feel is very complimentary
09:14Like I just think you are an incredible person and I feel very lucky to have met you
09:20So I would like to stay married to you
09:24Because I'm very excited for how much stronger we can grow together in this marriage
09:29I love you baby
09:38I love you too
09:40You guys are a beautiful couple you've learned how to deal with conflict
09:46So I want to encourage you to keep up what you're doing and continue to be vulnerable and remind yourselves of the commitment
09:51That you're making to each other and give each other grace
09:54I'm really really thankful for everything
09:56Thank you guys so much
09:58Congratulations
10:00My man
10:01Good for you
10:02I love so much about josh but I know I definitely can say that I love
10:06Who josh is and I feel really excited that he's chosen to stay with me
10:11Want me to say it again?
10:13Yeah sure say it again
10:14I want to stay married with you
10:17Thank you
10:18Thanks all you guys, take care
10:22Oh god
10:30That's what I'm talking about
10:32Heading into decision day I'm feeling conflicted
10:49Despite the disconnects and the challenges that Rhonda and I have had
10:55We did make a deep connection and I feel in my heart that you know I have established deep love for Rhonda
11:04I
11:05Really honestly do not know what I'm going to do
11:08No matter what happens today, I hope that pat knows I have really sincerely appreciated him and his commitment to this marriage
11:30It's been hard, but also it's been everything I think I could have ever hoped for
11:36I
11:38Clock strikes upon the hour and the sun begins to fade
11:45Getting into this experience one of the things I was looking for is I wanted somebody who adored me and was excited to see me
11:53Thank you for coming to you
11:55Oh, it's so good to meet you
11:57I was looking for a deep connection
11:59Oh, I gotta dance this is it
12:01Hoping that that deep connection would spawn a spark
12:11I love you
12:13Isn't it nice to have a strong man?
12:16There is absolutely chemistry with my husband. Oh my god, we're having so much fun together. I have a husband
12:22I want to feel the heat with somebody
12:26Yeah, I want to dance with somebody
12:29You're just the most amazing woman I have ever met
12:32I don't know how to say it, but I do not feel
12:36In our conversations like you have any interest in my life
12:40Oh, I hope that I do
12:43How I feel is I feel like he doesn't care
12:46That's just not true
12:48Why do you feel like you can't be yourself around me?
12:50I felt a lot of anxiety
12:52I felt a lot of emotions in this experience and
12:56Those are not
12:57Myself
12:58We don't have a lot of years left. We're more than halfway through our lives and I want to make every day count
13:08All right, that looks beautiful our first pie together
13:13Dance party
13:18Come on, baby. Go. Pat, I love you
13:20Yeah
13:27I want this to be the ultimate love story, but I need to listen to my heart
13:40Hello, how are you guys? Oh look, you're all matching matching your pink
13:47Oh my goodness
13:50Hey
13:51Oh, that's so good to see you guys
13:53I just love these earrings
13:55Oh my god, you're cute
13:56Oh, it's so beautiful
13:57It's beautiful
13:57Thank you, sweetheart. Good to see you guys again
14:02Howdy, howdy
14:03How you doing, buddy? It's good to see you, man
14:06Pat, how are you?
14:09Nice to see you
14:11Have a seat
14:13Don't you look dapper?
14:15Red scarf and all
14:18I love you, Jess
14:19Thanks
14:23Let's start with you, Rhonda
14:26How are you feeling today?
14:29For me, I'm feeling very at peace
14:34It's crazy to think it's only been eight weeks because
14:38We have been through a lot
14:41Let's talk about that and how you feel
14:43You know, I want us both to be happy for sure
14:47But I think what's most important is for each of us to do what's in our heart and what we think we need to do
14:55And I can tell Pat's in a totally different place because he has both his hands wrapped on his lap
15:04And his legs crossed and he's leaning back
15:07What does that communicate to you?
15:08Yeah
15:08That he's made his decision and it's not to hold my hand moving forward
15:18Is she right in that perception?
15:20I have to listen to my heart and I've stood on this precipice before in my first marriage
15:45I felt swept along by what was happening
15:48There were red flags going off
15:50I ignored them
15:52And that set me on a much longer path
15:55And I have a history of standing at these places and not considering myself
16:04I do not trust that I will be seen and heard as my authentic self
16:09Can I ask a question?
16:11In the past you said that you couldn't be your authentic self
16:15So how can I see you when you can't, when you're not that person?
16:20I'll give you an example, the one consistent thing I've heard from you for eight weeks
16:25Is that I don't care about you
16:27I've heard that over and over and over again
16:30And yet I am being my authentic self through all of that
16:34Trying to meet you, do everything I can to support you and be there for you
16:39And do the things that I think a good husband should do
16:43Those are all part of my authentic self
16:45And I just don't see seen
16:50Rhonda, let's talk about where you are right now
16:54And how you're feeling
16:56We're talking a lot about Pat and his emotional and how hard this has been on him
17:01And my emotional needs that haven't been met
17:04The reason he hears it over and over because they aren't, haven't been addressed
17:09If someone feels unhurt, small things even, but important
17:12Let's say there's lots of those small things that she felt were unheard of, unconsidered
17:17Or maybe even big things if she's feeling down and she says something and you think you've answered it
17:22And you're off to something else
17:24Those things got solved, the you don't care thing might stop being said
17:28Correct
17:30Yes, that's probably the truth
17:32Yeah, I think sometimes and with all the couples that I've talked to
17:35I try to encourage them most often to
17:39Can we focus on the good that's in the relationship?
17:42Because whatever you focus on most
17:45Is what you're going to experience most
17:47Yes
17:48Okay
17:50I'm thankful and appreciate the fact you felt like you could be vulnerable and open in front of me
17:56I appreciate you making me coffee in the morning
17:59And I enjoy listening to music and dancing with you
18:06You know, I feel drawn to you, other people feel drawn to you
18:10You're a very giving person and that I think is very impressive
18:15And how you just, you know, you create fun
18:21I just think I've been really, really frustrated with you
18:25And my frustration pushes you away and that's not my intention
18:31I am struggling on how to deal with it
18:34So I would apologize for making you feel like I'm pushing you away
18:39Thank you
18:42How do you both feel in hearing this from each other?
18:45I'm feeling some tenderness
18:49From Rhonda that
18:50That I like, that is, I appreciate
18:57What I'm hearing today is
19:01Helping rebuild that trust
19:05I came in here very much of the mind that I was not going to move forward
19:10And now I'm thinking, you know, I was being too rigid
19:15Maybe
19:16I don't know, I'm just
19:18I'm on the fence
19:19Look at how your all's body language has changed
19:22Since you first came in
19:23You're open to her, legs open
19:25Your shoulders are back
19:26You are more relaxed
19:28And now you're, for instance, I kind of changed it
19:31Kind of like more stiff
19:32I came in here with a very open heart
19:35Yeah
19:35Of moving forward
19:37For me right now, the elephant in the room
19:40Is here is my husband who was on that page 24 hours ago
19:46And then all of a sudden he is not moving forward
19:49And now he is on the fence again
19:52I understand how that would be very destabilizing
19:55I think if I were to say, let's continue, it would be because
20:00I care about you
20:04And that I will, I will work on that
20:07I will work with you
20:08And so we would, you know, have a chance to stop these cycles
20:14And to be able to meet each other
20:17Earnestly try with you
20:17I need to listen to your heart
20:20What did you say we're going to do?
20:21She said, I need to listen to my heart
20:25That's why we got into this
20:26The time has come, okay, for you to make a decision
20:36Whether you want to stay married
20:40Or if you want to end it here
20:41And get a divorce
20:55I want to stay married
20:58I want to continue to work on this
21:00I want to face my fears with you
21:08And develop the ways that we can be nurturing
21:11And be loving and be supportive
21:13And be there for one another
21:15I want to be perfectly honest
21:20Like I came in here feeling all of that that you just said
21:24And it's, I don't feel as open or hopeful as I did
21:30Um, that said, I, like, there's not a place in my heart that's ready to say no
21:38Not yet
21:42But I'm really scared
21:45There's a fire starting up and starting up
21:48I see you
21:49I see you
21:52Well, I do
21:54Rhonda, do you want to stay married
21:56Or do you want to get a divorce?
21:58I want to stay married
22:04Congratulations
22:11I think it's actually more poignant today
22:14Than it was on our wedding day
22:16Because on our wedding day we got lucky
22:21And today we actually
22:24Looked into each other's eyes
22:25And it was a hard, hard conversation
22:29But also we did choose each other today
22:32Thank you so much
22:33Oh, you're so welcome
22:35I'm proud of you, man
22:35I'm proud of you, man
22:37Oh, you're so welcome
22:40Wow hold on
22:41Thank you
22:43I love you
22:44Thank you
22:44For choosing me
22:45Thank you for choosing me.
22:47I love you, too.
23:09For us, Decision Day is a little bit different,
23:12given our situation with the pregnancy.
23:15I think that adds, like, a whole other element
23:18to this already pretty crazy situation.
23:21Oh, there's something you can't lose.
23:24There's a lot in every room.
23:27Here to never go out of style.
23:30So we are almost to the venue for Decision Day.
23:34We just passed not that long ago
23:36the actual venue where Derek had got married,
23:40and that was, like, a full circle moment.
23:43Yeah, it's my favorite view.
23:46It's a magic trick we do.
23:49There's a lot on the line here,
23:51and, you know, it's not something that,
23:54yeah, I'm taking lightly,
23:56but I do feel confident in my decision.
24:00We have a lot of things that are gonna hit us,
24:04a lot of new things in the future
24:06that we're gonna have to figure out,
24:08and we need to, like, really work through this.
24:14I'm just thinking back to
24:16how much our relationship has evolved.
24:18You know, we've come a really long way.
24:21Took me by surprise
24:23I didn't expect
24:25Nice to meet you.
24:26Nice to meet you, too, Megan.
24:29Whoa, nice one.
24:31Cheers.
24:32Cheers.
24:36She has fucking abs.
24:38Oh, my God.
24:39Fucking hot.
24:41What's the thing you like most about Meg?
24:43Really smart.
24:44She's, like, driven.
24:45There's a big list.
24:46Oh, that's so sweet.
24:47You seem pretty angry.
24:49I think it's just...
24:50I mean, yesterday was just kind of unexpected.
24:54I'm getting heated because this is really pissing me off.
24:56Why not just say how you feel?
24:58Okay, just...
24:59I'll tell you.
25:00Because you get like this.
25:01Honestly.
25:02Fuck this shit.
25:04I'm so dumb.
25:07What can I do to make it more safe?
25:10Being vulnerable.
25:12I really care a lot about you.
25:14I hope you know that.
25:15I'll do more things to make you realize that.
25:18You got somebody here who you can rely on.
25:20I love you.
25:27You took these two tests.
25:30And we're pregnant.
25:31Both came back completely positive.
25:33This changes pretty much everything.
25:45Yes, she is in that red dress.
25:47She walking too, isn't she?
25:48Hi.
25:49Hey.
25:50Hey.
25:51Lady in red.
25:52Look at you.
25:53You better.
25:54Oh, you look nice as always.
25:55Oh, my gosh.
25:56You look incredible.
25:57Yes, you're wearing that dress and those earrings.
26:00Great.
26:01How are y'all?
26:02We're good.
26:03Good.
26:05Oh, and the shoes.
26:07Mm-hmm.
26:08Oh, yeah.
26:09I like to accessorize.
26:11Well, why don't we get your other half in here?
26:13There he is.
26:14Hey, buddy.
26:15Oh, yeah.
26:16You look really nice.
26:17You do, too.
26:18I like that.
26:19Wow.
26:20Aw.
26:21Did you guys plan this with the red?
26:22He knew I was wearing red.
26:23I know you guys have had a, um, it's been a great ride, but it's been a rocky ride at times.
26:40Yeah, so right from the very beginning, we were having some, uh, challenges where Megan would get a little defensive when I would bring things up.
26:50From there, our next bump was, uh, just misaligned expectations on roles and duties in the house.
26:58What we learned from that was, like, on my side, I need to present things more tactfully.
27:04And on her side, she needs to work on not getting so defensive and so escalated.
27:10Mm-hmm.
27:11I think I need to, like, breathe, think about it for a little bit, and then come with a softer approach.
27:16Yeah.
27:17I mean, there's definitely been hard times.
27:18Mm-hmm.
27:19Let's talk about, um, children.
27:20I know you guys have had those conversations, right?
27:23Um, yeah, so, no one really knows, but I'm pregnant.
27:31Really?
27:32Really?
27:33Really.
27:34Oh, my God!
27:36Are you serious?
27:38We were not trying.
27:39Oh, my gosh!
27:40Oh, my gosh!
27:41Oh, my God!
27:42Oh, my God!
27:43Are you serious?
27:45Oh, my man!
27:47Oh, my God!
27:48What are you doing right now?
27:50Congratulations, dude!
27:52Oh, my God!
27:53Oh, my God!
27:54Oh, my God!
27:55Yeah.
27:56Oh, wow!
27:57Oh, my God!
27:58This is a first.
27:59This is a married at first sight first.
28:01Oh, my God.
28:02Well, goodness.
28:03It's wonderful.
28:04Well, I...
28:05I don't know what to say.
28:06Well, I...
28:07We're all kind of speechless here.
28:09Yeah.
28:10Well, I think the time is now here for you to decide.
28:13Do you want to stay married or get a divorce?
28:17You are just extremely caring and compassionate.
28:20And without any hesitation, 100%, I want to stay married to you.
28:27I love you.
28:29And I love your sense of humor.
28:32I love your pretty smile and your big blue eyes.
28:37And I am really excited to start a family with you.
28:42I think you'll make an amazing mom.
28:45And I'm just really excited for our future.
28:49You make me a better person.
28:55I know that you love Zoe as much as you love me.
28:58Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
28:59And I am so excited to raise a child with you.
29:04So I am choosing to stay married to you because I can't imagine being away from you.
29:12And I love you.
29:15I'm all in, I'm all in, I'm all in, I'm all in, I'm all in, I'm all in.
29:19I mean, we want to say thank you because, you know, y'all made this match.
29:24So...
29:25Yeah.
29:26God.
29:27Invite us to the baby shower.
29:28Yeah.
29:29Yeah, how about that?
29:30That's right.
29:31100%.
29:32Congratulations again.
29:33Congratulations for everything.
29:34I'm excited about walking out of here, the three of us.
29:37There's still a lot of things that we need to do to plan and everything.
29:40So if it's gonna be nice, you can focus on the future.
29:43Well, guys, you guys go and do what married people do.
29:45Okay, okay.
29:46All right.
29:47Thank you so much.
29:48Pleasure.
29:49My man.
29:50You know, I got into this with hope that I would end up with a wife and someone I could
29:55start a family with.
29:56And that's exactly what I got and more.
29:58It's like a dream come true.
30:00Oh, wow.
30:03Wow.
30:04Wow.
30:05I'm all in the ride on the edge.
30:07It's all underfoot.
30:26It is the morning of decision day and those are lovey's legs sticking up in the corner.
30:31I was just having a heart-to-heart conversation with him, asking him what he thinks about decision
30:38day and moving forward.
30:41Still a bit off balance from the past couple days.
30:51We've been through a lot of tough decisions already.
30:53None of us want her to be hurt.
30:55None of us want me to be hurt.
30:56And it's a big decision.
30:57But you know, we've committed, I'd say wholeheartedly, to trying to make it work.
31:06And I hate that, trying to make it work.
31:08That sounds like bullshit.
31:09But it's really, in a short period of time, that's what you're trying to do.
31:12Maybe loving you senseless, senseless, senseless.
31:17But baby, you're giving me glimpses.
31:19This last couple months has been a pretty exciting journey.
31:29Got a new ring.
31:30Got a new ring.
31:31I love you a lot.
31:34I love you.
31:35I love you too.
31:36Oh, shucks.
31:40Oh, right in the middle.
31:42Aw, these are pretty.
31:43They are.
31:45Chad is kind, funny, and sweet.
31:48But it's been a little exhausting at times too.
31:51We're trying to talk, and we're trying to share.
31:55And just let us talk and share.
31:59I apologize.
32:01I love you.
32:02And I'm so glad I met you.
32:04But I don't give a fuck about this show.
32:08At this stage of the game, I'm more of a regimented person.
32:11And I'm accustomed to being in charge.
32:16I'm done.
32:17I am done.
32:19I'm just done.
32:21I can be a bit of a challenge.
32:24I mean, you want to have a conversation, but you don't want me to participate in the conversation.
32:28I'm trying to tell you what I think, and you're arguing all the points.
32:32Why is it that you're telling me what you think, and I'm arguing, versus I'm telling you what I think, and you're telling me what you think?
32:39We're getting nowhere with this.
32:40Okay, then I'm done.
32:41Okay.
32:42It's fine.
32:43That's fine.
32:44I was thinking decision day was a yes.
32:46And right now I'm thinking decision day is not a yes.
32:50It begins now.
32:51I do want to be with her, and I hope she understands how much I appreciate her.
33:05I can't imagine my life without Belinda.
33:08I hope that she knows that I will do everything I can to protect her.
33:12And I hope that we can work this out.
33:15If I don't continue in the marriage, I'm definitely going to be missing that partner.
33:20I want to live a life with the companion.
33:22I want to have somebody that I can talk to at night.
33:24I want to have someone I can go, you know, hang out with and do all the fun things with, travel with.
33:29I feel like I'm definitely someone who has a lot of love to give, and I just don't want to have to be alone anymore.
33:38But I just don't want to lose my voice.
33:41You know, I can't lose myself in a marriage.
33:43And I feel like I need to remember that I'm also there and that I also matter.
33:50Hello.
33:51Hey.
33:52Hi.
33:53You look beautiful.
33:54Awesome.
33:55Okay.
33:58Here's your man.
33:59Hi.
34:00Wow, you look stunning.
34:02Me too.
34:03Come on, baby.
34:12Aw.
34:13A thoughtful guy.
34:15Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.
34:16You see, you're doing this right.
34:18Tell us a little bit about what have been some of the most enjoyable times you two have had together.
34:24Um, the night we danced.
34:29We danced in our apartment and just sat and listened to music all night.
34:34I think it's a culmination of lots of things.
34:37Hmm.
34:38Cool.
34:39It's the smile.
34:40She'll start telling me a story and start giggling as she's telling me the story.
34:45And you can see she's just genuinely happy.
34:48Hmm.
34:49And that's cool.
34:50Mm-hmm.
34:51What are you proudest about in terms of your own personal growth in this period?
34:55I came into this with an open mind and open heart, and I feel like I stayed true to that.
35:01I wanted to be patient enough to make things work.
35:06Yeah.
35:07Um, but yeah, I'm proud of that.
35:10I think I'm proudest about the fact that this is so anti-Chad that I actually tried it.
35:17And I'm proud that although I did have a incident on occasion, I personally believe that I did very well for this long.
35:29Right.
35:30Uh, but I realized how bad I hurt her.
35:34Hmm.
35:35You know, it was tough to deal with.
35:37What did you realize?
35:40Just how little control I have over what I thought I had control of.
35:44Hmm.
35:45And I need to find healthier ways to try to burn off some steam and when I can get back into a gym and I can be near my gym and I can go do things.
35:51Yeah.
35:52To let go of some stress.
35:55There's still going to be rubs because we are very different people and we came from very different places and we experienced very different things, but I genuinely care about you.
36:06And I believe you care about me.
36:09And I don't think there's anything we can't figure out as long as that's the overbearing feeling.
36:15Yeah.
36:16Well, you know, when we give the marriage vows, we talk about the tough times as well as the good times.
36:22Hmm.
36:23And that's what marriage offers is an embrace to be there for both and to make each other better through sticking around to fix things and grow.
36:34So with that in mind, the time has come for you to decide, do you want to stay married or do you want to get a divorce?
36:46I am willing to do whatever it takes to make this connection work.
36:52To me right now, there's nothing that makes me want to walk away.
36:55And there's everything that makes me want to stay.
36:59Just trying to believe in something I believe in you.
37:08I love you.
37:11I thank the world of you.
37:13I can't wait to see the rest of the world with you.
37:18Will you stay married to me?
37:23Um...
37:24I mean, I think if anything, if I had a reason to walk away, it would just be because we weren't working on it the way we committed and said we were going to.
37:49Um...
37:54But...
37:56I know that if we're working on it, we can get through it.
37:59So...
38:01Yes.
38:02I will stay married to you.
38:06Love you too.
38:10Y'all got me tearing up.
38:11Yeah.
38:13Yeah.
38:15I want to make it work.
38:16And if you're willing to look inside yourself and...
38:21And have these conversations with me and do all the things.
38:25All the things.
38:27Then let's do them.
38:28Let's do all the things together.
38:30Perfect.
38:31Come on now.
38:32I love that.
38:33I love that.
38:34Well, congratulations are in order.
38:35Congratulations.
38:37There's lots of things to talk about and think about still.
38:40It's been a pleasure.
38:41Congratulations.
38:43You're so deserving.
38:44Thank you so much.
38:45But hearing Chad say he's still all in makes me feel good.
38:49And I believe that both of us are in a place where we don't want to hurt each other.
38:54We just want to care about each other and make things work.
38:57And as long as we want that, I think it'll be good.
38:59We keep on playing in my mind.
39:16So tell me if I'm just wasting all my time.
39:23When I first woke up, I was hopeful about today.
39:26I knew exactly where we both stood.
39:29There had been no indication that it would be anything other than a definitive yes.
39:35And then he called me this morning to tell me that his answer was no.
39:38And I felt my heart sink.
39:43I wanted to just not even show up.
39:46But I thought that he should hear me out.
39:48And I should at least hear him out.
39:50Because we are married and I take marriage very seriously.
39:53That's the part of me that makes me want to fight.
39:55But I'm not in a good spot right now.
40:08Hi there.
40:09Hey.
40:10Hey.
40:11How you doing, man?
40:13I'm doing all right.
40:14All right.
40:15Hi, Will.
40:18Stay down.
40:19Good to see you.
40:20So, how are you feeling?
40:25I think that I just had some more thoughts.
40:30And I'm kind of all over the place because I'm saying no and I told Brittany that.
40:35Oh, wow.
40:36Oh, wow.
40:37What happened?
40:38I think that throughout this, her not thinking I'm trying, her not thinking that I'm doing anything,
40:43her not feeling anything from what I'm doing, that was the theme.
40:47She asked me what love meant to me.
40:50And I said how those commitments every day, how I want to be the reason why she's happy,
40:54how she makes me happy, and I want to grow together.
40:57And then she said, well, no, love is passion for me.
40:59It seems like it's not passion.
41:00You don't love me.
41:01So, she tries to compare things to how she feels them.
41:05And if it's not how she feels, then it doesn't matter.
41:08And it's not validated.
41:09And I understand that she may say things in the heat of the moment.
41:12Things like, well, maybe I'm just not the one for you.
41:14She said that to you?
41:15Yeah.
41:16Yeah.
41:17And that hurts a lot.
41:19Because I don't know if I can live life not being enough for my partner.
41:23It's almost as though she wants you to fight for her.
41:26Absolutely.
41:27And for you, and I'm going to give you credit, just admitting that things hurt.
41:30You know, that's something I hadn't heard from you before.
41:32Yeah.
41:33But let's have the conversation.
41:34Fair enough?
41:35Yeah.
41:36Okay.
41:37All right.
41:38Here she comes.
41:41Hi.
41:42Hello.
41:43Beautiful.
41:44How are you?
41:45I'm doing okay.
41:46How are you?
41:47Hi, gorgeous.
41:48So pretty.
41:49Good.
41:50Who wants to sit down?
41:51Uh-oh.
41:52Hello.
41:53How are you feeling?
41:54Um...
41:55Well, it's shocking.
41:56I'm like completely shocked.
41:57It's not what I was expecting or not what I was hoping.
42:12I mean, I was really excited to come here and I was excited to see you and talk to you.
42:17And, um, for us to, you know, continue being married to one another.
42:24Um, if I haven't been able to express like how important you are to me and how much you mean to me, I'm sorry.
42:34Um, I think you're an amazing, I think you're an amazing person and you just, you bring me so much joy.
42:47Like, every time I'm around you, um, this shit sucks.
42:53Every time I'm around you, like, I just get excited and happy.
42:59And over these past, like, eight weeks to know you and, like, to really get to know you and understand you has been just such a blessing.
43:08Because I think you are the most kind, generous, thoughtful person that I've ever met.
43:15And you're you.
43:17And that's what I love about you.
43:18Like, you are uniquely you.
43:21And I could see the way that you love me and the way that you care about me.
43:26And I've never felt those things before.
43:29And so I do appreciate it.
43:38I can't do this.
43:40I'm so sorry.
43:53And if I haven't made you feel that way, like if, if I haven't made you feel like you're important to me and like your feelings are important to me because they are.
44:05Just, just as stupid.
44:10I'm done.
44:14I'm thankful that I was able to make you feel those things in those ways I didn't know.
44:22Well, in the beginning, I was just trying to get to know you.
44:25And so I was asking you to, I don't know, I guess like kind of make it easier, like, be more expressive and like open yourself up.
44:35And when I didn't get that in the beginning, I just, I didn't know how to react to it.
44:40And then over time, I started noticing that like, you're opening up and like, you're showing me your heart.
44:47And I think that's what makes me sad is because I didn't express that to you that that's what I was noticing and I was so grateful for.
44:54And it made you feel that like, it didn't matter.
45:00Well, that's not true.
45:02I noticed all of those things.
45:06And I think it was just scared.
45:09I was scared of this moment right here.
45:12I was scared that like, we'd get to this place where you just said you didn't want to be with me anymore.
45:19I mean, that was a lot of things I haven't heard before.
45:30And I know I haven't made everything the easiest.
45:34I know that I may not be the most easy person to understand.
45:42We both have things that we need to work on.
45:45Yeah.
45:46But I, I was just asking for time.
45:52I mean, clearly we care about each other.
45:54Like otherwise this wouldn't be happening.
45:56And the fact that you're crying right now, like that does something to me.
46:07I'm trying to process things because I know that I, I can't undo the call this morning.
46:13You know, and I knew that going into it, but there is still processing for that.
46:19I mean, this is, I'm definitely all over the place.
46:23What do you want to do?
46:24I mean, I just need more time.
46:26We can't.
46:27We can't.
46:28We can't.
46:29We can't.
46:30We can't.
46:31We can't.
46:32We can't.
46:33We can't.
46:34We can't.
46:35We can't.
46:36We can't.
46:37We can't.
46:38We can't.
46:39We can't.
46:40We can't.
46:41We can't.
46:42We can't.
46:44We can't.
46:45We can't.
46:46A lot of feelings and emotions today.
47:01I think that I did get validation of my feelings and emotions,
47:06understanding that I am here and I'm trying.
47:08So I appreciate that.
47:10She said she's trying to get better on those things,
47:12but they've been happening for two months.
47:16And I know that's not something that you can change immediately anyway.
47:23And at the end of the day, it's my decision.
47:25It's my choice about my life and what I want to do.
47:29So I'm making a decision today based on that.
47:33Hey, Will.
47:34Welcome back.
47:39Hi.
47:41Can you have some time to clear your head?
47:43Yeah, a little.
47:44Yeah.
47:46The time has now come for you to both decide
47:49if you wish to stay married or to get a divorce.
47:59It's not a hard decision for me.
48:01I, of course, want to stay married to you.
48:04I want to build a life with you and I see a future with you.
48:08And I want to put in the work for myself individually
48:13and for us as a couple.
48:16And I just want to continue to be married to you
48:22and be happy with you.
48:32Will?
48:33I adore you and I enjoy so much with you and exploring and learning with you
48:54and projecting our future and the things we want to do.
48:57I think that we do have a lot of growing to do with one another and learning.
49:02I do want to be with you and I do want to continue this.
49:15And I want to learn it with you.
49:19I want that.
49:21It's a shot.
49:21So I'm saying yes to us, trying to work harder on us
49:26because we haven't been in the real world.
49:32Awesome.
49:35I believe that some of the greatest marriages that I've seen
49:40have also gone through some of the greatest challenges.
49:42And so I think that you guys going through this, you know,
49:45take this as a lesson.
49:47You know, you're learning how to be married.
49:49You know, and it's not all butterflies and rainbows.
49:52You know, it's, it can be hard work,
49:54but the reward is incredible.
49:59Will saying yes in that moment was different than how I thought that would go.
50:04I feel like he's my person and I feel like I'm your person.
50:12And I know I've said that before.
50:14You said the other way before.
50:16Right.
50:16And I've said both ways before.
50:19That was probably the most emotional experience of my life.
50:25Marriage has been a beautiful, terrifying experience.
50:31It's been a lot of confusion.
50:32It's been a lot of sad moments, but it's all worth it because I have Will.
50:38I set out to do this to find my person.
50:42And I believe that Will is.
50:43Can I have a kiss?
50:44Yeah.
50:49This is five for five.
50:51All right.
50:52Definitely not the journey that I thought we'd take,
50:55but it's our journey and I do see myself being married to him forever.
50:59I see us going through all of the different stages of life.
51:01And I think we'll make a beautiful life together.
51:04I love you.
51:06I love you.
51:07I love you.
51:07I love you.
51:09I love you.
51:10I love you.
51:10I love you.
51:11I love you.
51:11I love you.
51:12I love you.
51:12I love you.
51:13I love you.
51:13I love you.
51:14I love you.
51:14I love you.
51:15I love you.
51:15I love you.
51:16I love you.
51:16I love you.
51:17I love you.
51:17I love you.
51:18I love you.
51:18I love you.
51:19I love you.
51:19I love you.
51:20I love you.
51:20I love you.
51:21I love you.
51:22I love you.
51:22I love you.
51:22I love you.
51:22I love you.
51:23I love you.
51:23I love you.
51:23I love you.
51:24I love you.
Be the first to comment
Add your comment