'Allo 'Allo - S5E02 - video Dailymotion

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Tv, 'Allo 'Allo - S5E02
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00:00The End

00:26Is there anyone among you who thinks it a little strange

00:29that I am chained to the wall of a dungeon

00:31wearing ladies' underwear.

00:33If there is, you have not been paying attention.

00:36I was tricked into this ludicrous situation

00:38by Air Flick of the Gestapo.

00:40I am now awaiting rescue by Lieutenant Gruber,

00:43who is the one who fancies me.

00:46I would rather not be rescued by him,

00:48but in war-torn France,

00:50one has to make strange bedfellows.

00:52I wish I had not said that.

00:55She has been very fired

00:58and I will have you out of here.

01:04Good.

01:07Oh, your arms look quite pale.

01:10That is because the blood has fallen down below my elbows.

01:14I hope you will soon be able to remove this experience

01:17from your memory.

01:18Yes, I hope you will be able to do the same.

01:21Here are the clothes in which you can leave.

01:24I hope the skirt is not too tight.

01:27It is the largest I could find.

01:29Why do I have to wear a skirt?

01:31René, I could not walk through the town

01:33with you dressed in ladies' underwear.

01:35Why could you not bring me trousers?

01:38You were taken prisoner as a woman soldier,

01:40and you must be taken out as a woman soldier.

01:42Will not my moustache arouse suspicion?

01:45No.

01:45No, in the German army, lady sergeants are permitted to grow them.

01:50You sent for me, Heflick?

02:01Yes, Helga.

02:02You showed great devotion by assisting with my escape.

02:06Here.

02:07What is this, Heflick?

02:08It is the Gestapo's certificate of special merit.

02:12See?

02:12Your name is at the top.

02:14My signature is at the bottom.

02:16The vexed seal is still hot.

02:18It is not only a great honour,

02:20but visit, you can get into the cinema free before five o'clock.

02:23What can I say?

02:28You can show your appreciation and gratitude by first releasing your hair.

02:44Now, you may put your arms around me

02:48and kiss me until you are giddy with ecstasy.

02:52Thank you, Heflick.

02:55You are reaching the ecstasy point very quickly these days.

02:59It comes with practice.

03:02Pay attention.

03:04Before I was in prison,

03:06I overheard the colonel and general von Klinkerhofen

03:08plotting to blow up the Führer

03:10when he visits the chateau to celebrate his birthday.

03:13I find this impossible to believe, Heflick.

03:16Von Smallhausen heard it with his very own ears

03:19and relayed it to me.

03:21Lieutenant Gruber is to do the blowing up.

03:24They must be on the alert.

03:26You will report to me all conversations

03:27between these guilty parties.

03:30As soon as I have enough evidence,

03:31I will arrest them.

03:33It is frightening to have so much power.

03:37Yes, isn't it?

03:39Now, it is my turn to go giddy.

03:46Madame Hedith,

03:53I bring you flowers.

03:55Oh, Monsieur Alphonse, you should not.

03:58Always when I bring you flowers,

04:00it is with the same message.

04:02I love you.

04:05What news of René?

04:06He is on a desperate mission.

04:08He has not come back.

04:10Oh.

04:11Well, should he not return,

04:12I wish you to know.

04:14That I would consider it an honour

04:15to continue where he left off.

04:19Monsieur Alphonse,

04:21he left off when Hitler

04:22was halfway down the Polish corridor.

04:26What is this?

04:27Michelle is in the back room.

04:28She wishes to talk to you.

04:29Oh, very well.

04:30Mimi.

04:34I love you, I love you.

04:35I have good news.

04:41René is safe

04:42and has been seen in the town.

04:44He has the luck of old Nick.

04:47I have here the spy camera

04:48with which you are to photograph the safe

04:50in the chateau.

04:52Have you arranged to steal the film?

04:54No.

04:54I have invited the colonel

04:55to take photographs of me tonight

04:57in my underwear.

04:58I will steal the film

05:00from the colonel's camera

05:01while Yvette is distracting him

05:02with a flying helmet

05:03and a wet cellarway.

05:04These poor girls,

05:06what they do for France?

05:07They get paid.

05:10How much?

05:112,000 francs.

05:12It is good value for money.

05:18Oh, it is René!

05:21Heading windows.

05:24Oh, let me help you.

05:27My poor boy, René.

05:29Thank God he is safe.

05:36The bravest transvestite in all France.

05:40We were worried.

05:42You have been away for so long.

05:44The girls from the typing pool

05:45invited me for a drink.

05:47I have here the spy camera.

05:50It is disguised as a large potato.

05:53That works so.

05:57I split it in two

05:58to reveal the camera.

06:06Why disguise it as a potato?

06:09Because you do not get carrots that big.

06:13When next they order some food

06:15from the chateau,

06:16you will deliver it.

06:17You will find the room

06:19containing the safe,

06:20photograph it,

06:21and deliver the film

06:22to Monsieur Alphonse.

06:24I have in my mortuary

06:25many fluids

06:26which skillfully blended

06:28can develop the film.

06:29I must go now.

06:31You know what to do.

06:40Oh, René.

06:41It is so good

06:42that you are safe

06:43and back with us again.

06:44But you are looking pale.

06:46Well, I had to take my makeup off.

06:49René,

06:50night after night,

06:51I dream that you come to my room.

06:54You owe me in your arms.

06:56You kiss me.

06:57You make world

06:58abandon love to me.

06:59When are we going to be together?

07:01In dreams like that,

07:02you hardly need me.

07:05Do you know,

07:06we have not even kissed yet.

07:08Well, it is very difficult, Mimi.

07:10Me with Yvette in there,

07:11my wife out there,

07:12me up here,

07:12you down there.

07:17Just a quick one.

07:19Oh, very well.

07:21Oh.

07:26Winning!

07:30Why is that girl

07:31crawling all over you?

07:36You stupid woman!

07:40She jumped into my arms

07:43because she saw a mouse.

07:46It is your job to set the traps.

07:47Can I trust you with nothing?

07:49Oh, I am sorry.

07:50There is so much to do.

07:52Excuses, excuses.

07:54Do not let it happen again.

07:56Good morning.

08:00Good morning.

08:01I am existed.

08:05Any chance of a cup of kiffy?

08:09Mimi, coffee for this British idiot

08:11who thinks he can speak French.

08:14I have for you good nose.

08:18What is your nose?

08:21In my bog,

08:22I have a cat.

08:23He has a cake in his bag.

08:35It weighs a tin.

08:36This cat contains a powerful bittery

08:42for the rudeo.

08:44Two of the kindles are the terminals.

08:47One is plis,

08:48the other is monis.

08:51Can you gas watch his watch?

08:55Which is which?

08:58Yes, well,

08:58I suppose it is very well done,

09:00but I think that this is one terminal

09:01and the other one is this one.

09:03No, that is the win.

09:06May I have the spoon

09:07to steal my kiffy?

09:12It is cleverly done.

09:26You idiot, Mimi.

09:28You could have killed him.

09:29You have raised a limp on my hod.

09:34Look,

09:35get out of here

09:36and take this cack with you.

09:40I shall put it in the rudeo

09:41under your wife's mithers' bod.

09:43Then I can collect my bursicle.

09:46Look,

09:47use the back passage.

09:50That man will be the death of us.

09:52I can still feel the static

09:54in my whale-born corset.

09:57Here,

09:57go and earth yourself.

09:59He can come home

10:08as late

10:09as can be.

10:11Home without him

10:13is no place

10:15for me.

10:16Can't help

10:19lovings

10:20and man.

10:22You are just

10:30Miss Lieutenant Gruber singing.

10:32Oh, never mind, Colonel.

10:33It is my turn next.

10:37Table for two, Colonel?

10:39No, Renee.

10:40Helga's got a very important date.

10:42She has been invited

10:43by General von Klinkerhofen.

10:46General von Klinkerhofen

10:47coming here?

10:48Oh, what an honor.

10:50He did the table by the window

10:52for Helga and the General.

10:53But it is occupied.

10:54No, it is not.

10:55Get out.

10:59Colonel, this way.

11:00Please come and sit down.

11:02Oh, let me help you

11:04with that heavy camera.

11:05Does it have a film, in it?

11:08Does it?

11:08Yes, a new one.

11:12Then will Yvette be ready for me?

11:14Oh, in a few moments, Colonel.

11:16Mimi,

11:17take care of the Colonel's camera.

11:19I will see no one

11:22who comes to it.

11:25Ah!

11:26Good evening, Earthlake.

11:28Oh, my God.

11:30There is no reason

11:31to cease your dollification

11:32just because a senior

11:33Gestapo officer

11:34in a particularly foul mood

11:36is entering your premises.

11:38Leon.

11:41So, there you are.

11:43What kind of a funny

11:44old game is this?

11:46I have two tickets

11:47for a film

11:48featuring her

11:49Stanley Laurel

11:49and her Oliver Hardy

11:50and I am left

11:52waiting in the foyer

11:53holding a bag

11:54of chocolate funches.

11:56I'm sorry, Heflick.

11:58I have been ordered

11:58by General von Klinkerhofen

12:00to be his companion

12:01for the evening.

12:02You will learn, Helga,

12:03that nobody stands up

12:05the Gestapo.

12:06Okay, Heflick.

12:07I shall not go away.

12:09I suspect

12:10that the general

12:11is involved in a plot

12:12to assassinate the Fuhrer

12:14as this is a very common fault

12:16with our generals.

12:16I am arresting you.

12:19You will come away

12:20with me for interrogation.

12:22Oh, Heflick.

12:24You see this bulge

12:25under my coat?

12:25Do you know what it is?

12:36I don't know.

12:37Correct.

12:38Stand up.

12:39Quick.

12:39March.

12:41Helga,

12:42where are you going?

12:43She is coming back

12:44to my place

12:45to be interrogated

12:46at length.

12:49Yvette, Yvette,

12:50we have got the film.

12:52Take the colonel upstairs now.

12:53I do not belong.

12:57Are you ready, colonel?

13:00Ready.

13:01I'm obsessed.

13:04Here is your camera.

13:09I do not wish

13:10the troops to know

13:11that I'm going upstairs

13:12with you.

13:13I'm a colonel, you know.

13:14I will go first.

13:16I will follow you

13:17casually.

13:18Lieutenant Gruber,

13:42another song.

13:43Everybody enjoy yourselves.

13:45Come.

13:45If you ever get

13:48across the sea

13:49to England,

13:50England,

13:51then maybe

13:52at the closing

13:53of the day,

13:55of the day,

13:56the bars will all

13:57be serving

13:58German lager,

14:00which means

14:01we won the war.

14:02Hip, hip, hooray!

14:03Hip, hip, hooray!

14:05General Eric von Klinkerhofen,

14:08I am Klaus and Bar,

14:09hero of the Russian front.

14:14Heil Hitler!

14:15Heil Hitler!

14:15Relax, I'm off duty.

14:20Good evening, General.

14:23Ah, so this is the place

14:24where all the action is.

14:27Where is my companion?

14:29Unfortunately,

14:30she left with Herr Flick.

14:31What?

14:32It was against her will.

14:33Again, this man

14:34thwarts me.

14:36The sooner he is

14:37pushing up the daisies,

14:38the better.

14:39I am most sorry, General.

14:41Then it is not your fault.

14:43I will not have

14:44my evening ruined.

14:46Find me a girl

14:47and some wine.

14:48Henry!

14:49Sir General needs wine.

14:51Also, he would like

14:52a woman to sit with him.

14:53I will sit with him.

14:56In the top of my stocking

14:58is a dagger.

15:00I will engage him

15:02in conversation

15:03in a low voice.

15:05When he leans forward

15:06to hear me,

15:08I will plunge the dagger

15:09between the third and fourth weeks.

15:12He will die instantly.

15:13Look, Mimi,

15:15I realize that you are

15:16trying to prove yourself

15:17with a resistance,

15:18but this is neither

15:19the time nor the place.

15:20A man of his rank

15:21needs more sophisticated women.

15:23I shall go.

15:30Good evening, General.

15:33I understand you fancy

15:35a little sophisticated company

15:37to while away

15:38a leisurely hour.

15:45A man like you

15:46should always have

15:47at his side

15:48a beautiful woman.

15:50I agree

15:51that sometimes

15:52the roulette wheel of life

15:53throws up the odd zero.

15:54Of course, sir.

15:58I do not sit

15:59with ordinary soldiers,

16:01although they crave

16:02my company.

16:03Hmm.

16:04Well, it is wartime.

16:05Men the long way

16:06from home

16:07get very desperate.

16:09Are you very desperate, General?

16:11Not yet.

16:13You, over here.

16:15Yes, General.

16:17It's very old and flat.

16:20Really?

16:20It is one of our best vintages.

16:22Not the vine, the woman.

16:24Have I not seen

16:26a better-looking girl

16:27around here?

16:28Uh, she is busy upstairs.

16:31Nobody is too busy

16:32for a general.

16:36Is it too creepy?

16:39I'll have just one more.

16:41I will hold the celery.

16:44Come along, Colonel.

16:51Keep still!

16:54You may leave the Hermit and the Gowels.

17:18Chicken, the salad, and the cheese.

17:24Where have you been?

17:26This food should have been

17:26at the chateau ten minutes ago.

17:28I will take you all there.

17:30I have waiting outside

17:31my small urse

17:32with the small urse.

17:34The flag is now down.

17:35The girls will help you

17:39with the Ampers.

17:40Here is your camera.

17:42The film has been cut down

17:44and loaded.

17:45Here is the plan of the chateau.

17:47We think that the seph

17:48is in a room

17:48on the first floor.

17:50Now deliver the food

17:51to the kitchen,

17:52go to the room quickly,

17:53photograph the seph,

17:54and run like hell.

17:56The last bit will be easy.

17:58What do I do

17:58if I get caught?

18:00Say you have lost your way.

18:01How do I explain this?

18:03Say you are on your way

18:04to a bring-your-own-potato party.

18:08Now, quickly, you must go.

18:11Oh, there has been

18:13a message on the wireless.

18:16The RAF are going to bomb

18:18the German troops tonight

18:19in Novion.

18:20That is wonderful news.

18:23Wonderful news?

18:24Are you out of your mind?

18:25What happens if they hit my cafe?

18:27We are not insured

18:28against the RAF, you know.

18:29You go back.

18:30Go back and tell them

18:31to steer clear of my cafe.

18:32I will sign a torch

18:33up the chimney or something.

18:35You should be proud

18:36to be bummed by the RAF.

18:39Quickly, you must go.

18:40Quick, monsieur,

18:41before the RAF drop one.

18:46Oh!

18:59What are you doing?

19:03Uh, food for the kitchens.

19:07Straight down to the corridor.

19:13That is the way to the room

19:14with the safe.

19:15Good luck.

19:18And Rene.

19:19Yes?

19:20Be careful.

19:21Safe, safe, safe, safe.

19:49Who is there?

20:01Rene!

20:05What a surprise!

20:07I was delivering food.

20:12I lost my way.

20:13There are many passages.

20:15It is most confusing.

20:17No, I'm very sorry.

20:18I will be going.

20:19No, no.

20:20Stay a while.

20:22Hand me my towel.

20:23Go ahead.

20:36My slippers?

20:37Bear with me a moment.

20:45I will get my dressing gown.

20:46I will get my dressing gown.

20:46I'm glad to see you're making yourself at home.

21:11And what is this you're holding in your hand?

21:16Oh, just an ordinary potato.

21:19I was on my way to a...

21:21No, no.

21:23Give it to me.

21:25We will roast it in front of the fire.

21:28No, no, no.

21:33Hold that.

21:34Now, do you fancy a little schnapps?

21:38I do not fancy a little anything.

21:41Look, I really should not be here.

21:42I must be getting back.

21:43Do you think of all the times I have invited you here?

21:46And now you arrive by chance?

21:49Or did you?

21:51Oh, no.

21:51Purely by chance, Leigh.

21:54I really should not be here.

21:55It is probably against regulations.

21:57Don't worry.

21:58The walls are thick.

22:00The doors are stout.

22:01Why are you waving your potato about?

22:03Well, it is very heavy.

22:07Let us cut it in half.

22:08No.

22:09I have a knife here somewhere.

22:11But...

22:12Oh, an air raid warning.

22:17Probably a false alarm.

22:19No, no.

22:19It is the RAF.

22:20They are due about this time.

22:22I mean, they have not been...

22:23They have not been for such a long time.

22:27This wardrobe is solid oak.

22:30We will be quite safe in here.

22:32Come inside.

22:33Come inside.

22:36Ready?

22:37No, it is your wardrobe, Lieutenant.

22:39I will take my chance in the cellar.

22:42Where are you?

22:46Sorry.

22:49Ready?

22:56Where are you?

22:57Ah, just a little bit to your left.

23:05I am only thinking of your safety.

23:08Do not worry, Lieutenant.

23:09You have been more helped than you will ever know.

'Allo 'Allo - S5E02

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