Kickin' off the new year with ABC/CBS/NBC/FOX Split Screen Credits!

Split Screen Credits Archive

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Transcript

00:00Thanks for watching ABC. Stay tuned for your late local news.

00:06Jimmy and Quentin drop in at the movies.

00:08Is this a date?

00:09No.

00:10Let's ask the guy. Is this a date?

00:11Can you pay for her?

00:12Yes.

00:13I don't care!

00:14You have every right to get lucky tonight.

00:17Tower of Kim Jr. and Neobard Alice and an all-new Jimmy Kimmel Live ABC Tonight.

00:22The mother of a missing Cleveland girl speaks out and we're tracking Doppler 5000.

00:26Mark Johnson shows us what will roll through tonight.

00:29And tomorrow, next.

00:33Imagine if all the great stars of Saturday Night Live came back on one night for one incredible show.

00:45It's true. All your favorite SNL stars are returning live next on NBC.

00:51I haven't felt this girlishly, Kitty, since I was 70.

00:54With Billy Crystal, Steve Martin, Mike Myers, Chris Rock, Adam Sandler, Jerry Seinfeld, and David Spade.

01:00I'm getting a little verklempt.

01:02The SNL.

01:03Money on Fox.

01:09A showdown's a-comin' between the good...

01:11You better watch your back.

01:13The bad.

01:14You?

01:15She stopped spending so much time.

01:17I'm yours.

01:18And the stupid.

01:19And all-new That's 70's show.

01:23Then, some people call her a psycho.

01:26Christopher Titus just calls her mom.

01:28Get down.

01:29The aliens can see you.

01:30Meet the woman who put the fun in dysfunctional on an all-new Titus.

01:35It all starts at 8, 7 Central, Fox Monday.

01:37What you'd really like to do is wrap your legs around me.

01:44Excuse me?

01:44Next, two lawyers meet their match.

01:46That would be sexual harassment.

01:48One behind closed doors.

01:50How about I just clear off this desk?

01:51Then afterwards you can write me up.

01:53And the other...

01:53Donnie Crane for the United States of America.

01:55Donnie Crane for the plaintiff.

01:56In open court.

01:57He's not my father.

01:58He's like a son.

01:59This'll be a delight.

02:00This is all about beating your old man.

02:02For once, this isn't about you.

02:04Freddie Prinze Jr. guest stars on an all-new Boston Legal.

02:08Coming up next, only on BBC.

02:11In the town of Desperation, Nevada.

02:14You have the right to remain silent.

02:16The sheriff's not corrupt.

02:17You have the right to an attorney.

02:19He's downright evil.

02:21I am going to kill you.

02:24You're mine.

02:25Oh, God.

02:26A world premiere movie event.

02:30You go ahead and pray.

02:32See what good it does.

02:34You've got to eat here.

02:37Stephen King's Desperation, two weeks from tonight, only on ABC.

02:41This has been a presentation of ABC News.

02:44More Americans get their news from ABC News.

02:49Than from any other source.

02:52Leslie Nielsen stars in Santa Who, Sunday on ABC.

02:56Up next, a deadly gun battle in Brooklyn.

02:59Plus, we're learning about some priceless work lost in the World Trade Center.

03:03Eyewitness News starts in one minute.

03:05Fox tomorrow.

03:16The gang sees cable TV for the very first time.

03:18Oh man, guy butt, look away.

03:20A new That 70s show.

03:21It's the Tuesday.

03:22The gang sees cable TV for the very first time.

03:25Oh man, guy butt, look away.

03:27A new That 70s show.

03:28It's the mother lord.

03:30Then, critics are calling it the year's best new comedy.

03:33You'll find nothing funnier than tomorrow.

03:35Start your week with a laugh.

03:37I'm still a little hazy.

03:39Let's go.

03:41Yeah.

03:42First, the high cost of health care got you down.

03:44You don't have to worry about the bill.

03:45Look, a bear.

03:46Run.

03:47Fight back with The Simpsons on a special night.

03:50By King of the Hill.

03:52Then, the days are hotter.

03:54The nights are wilder, and all inhibitions are going overboard.

03:59Love Cruise, an all-new episode.

04:01It all starts at 8, 7 central tomorrow on Fox.

04:05America Trusty.

04:06On the CSI Miami season finale.

04:08What's going on here?

04:09A city under siege.

04:11We have an escape in progress.

04:13They are armed and dangerous.

04:15A murder spree.

04:16Think they were killed in the crash?

04:17Not unless they each crashed into a bullet.

04:19A kidnapping.

04:20He's gonna bury her.

04:21It's a manhunt so big.

04:23Get down!

04:24You're next, Callie.

04:25I'm not leaving the investigation.

04:26It can't fit into just one hour.

04:29Oh, no.

04:29The 75-minute season finale of CSI Miami at a special time.

04:33CBS Monday.

04:34A lost love could lead to a new romance.

04:37They'll just forget about me, right?

04:38Choose between yesterday and tomorrow.

04:41Message in a bottle.

04:42CBS next Sunday.

04:43Monday on an all-new Late Show.

04:45Dave welcomes actor Mark Wahlberg.

04:46And don't miss Tuesday when Jim Carrey returns to The Late Show.

04:50All-new Dave all this week.

04:51Now your local news.

04:54Great and the least.

05:15The weak and the strong.

05:18The rich and the poor.

05:21In sickness and health.

05:24In joy and sorrow.

05:27In tragedy and triumph.

05:30You are all my children.

05:32The 70s were about the clothes.

05:36I gotta wear this.

05:37The music.

05:38Hey!

05:38And the Partridge Family.

05:41Bigger than the Beatles!

05:42The Partridge Family story you never knew.

05:44Get it!

05:44Come on, get happy.

05:45Saturday at 9, 8 central on ABC.

05:51You stinker!

05:55Fox Wednesday.

05:56We are gathered here to witness the marriage of Steve and Janet.

06:01It's a night of celebration.

06:03I, Steve, take you, Janet.

06:05And shocking confessions.

06:06If we were ever going to end up like Steve and Janet, we should spend more time together.

06:10I don't know who we are.

06:11An all-new 90210.

06:13Then, will Megan Green steal her best friend's boyfriend?

06:18And we have contact.

06:19An all-new Get Real.

06:21It all starts at 8, 7 central tomorrow on Fox.

06:25Now...

06:26I don't get it.

06:30For free, murder is a horrible tragedy.

06:32But you charge a hundred bucks for it and suddenly it's a sophisticated night out.

06:37But it's inappropriate for kids.

06:39This world does need more entertainment that's acceptable for children.

06:43Something where people are nice to each other.

06:46Something where people can just love one another.

06:49They have that.

06:50It's called pornography.

06:53And that's what kids should watch.

06:56The greatest.

07:00Melissa Gilbert and Tim Matheson star in Christmas in My Hometown.

07:04CBS Next.

07:05CBS Saturday.

07:06If you thought chivalry was dead, meet Sam O'Hung in Arsenio Hall.

07:11Anybody else?

07:12Martial Law.

07:13Then a small town terrorized by a crooked charro.

07:16I'll take care of those rangers.

07:17Lee Major's guests on Walker.

07:19All right, why do I always get the big guy?

07:21Just lucky, I guess.

07:22After Martial Law.

07:23CBS Saturday.

07:32What does ABC have for you Saturday night?

07:35I don't know.

07:36Maybe fun?

07:37Try Cupid.

07:38He's got romance with an attitude.

07:39No idea what you just said, but it just turned me off.

07:45Cupid's been voted the most interesting new character and Jeremy Piven best actor.

07:49Let's talk some broadband.

07:51An all-new Cupid Saturday, 10, 9 central.

07:53The best shows on television are on ABC.

08:06Put these people out of business.

08:08While the fate of the firm is in the jury's hands.

08:11The jury has reached its verdict.

08:13A future with Bobby is in Lindsay's court.

08:15I've been thinking about leaving.

08:17You're in love with him.

08:18An all-new practice, ABC Sunday, 10, 9 central.

08:32The Late Show Emmy winner for Outstanding Variety Series for the fourth year in a row.

08:36Tonight, Dave's all-new with Billy Crystal, Britney Spears, and Bits World Series wrap-up.

08:41First, your local news.

09:02This has been a presentation of ABC News.

09:05More Americans get their news from ABC News than from any other source.

09:13Oakland, Denver.

09:15Monday night at 9 Eastern, 6 Pacific.

09:18Nature creates a couple of spectacular sites.

09:20Lava flows from a volcano in Hawaii.

09:22And meteors streak across the skies.

09:24Also at 11, why would someone use a lamp to fry an egg?

09:27ABC puts on its Sunday best.

09:35First, an all-new snoops.

09:37Either you want to be here or not, but if you don't, get the hell out.

09:40Then, an all-new practice.

09:42Your ex-wife says she came out of the bathroom.

09:43This is what she found.

09:44You want to ask our son if he committed murder.

09:48It's an all-new snoops followed by an all-new practice.

09:51ABC Sunday starting at 9, 8 central.

09:52Up next, it is one of the best news yet of the Leonid meteor shower.

09:58And who's that anchor man?

09:59It's some Channel 2 moments you've probably never seen.

10:02Plus, a rare birth times two.

10:04It happened right here in Oregon.

10:06The story's next on Channel 2 News at 11.

10:11This has been a presentation of ABC News.

10:14More Americans get their news from ABC News than from any other source.

10:19ABC News, now traveling to all 50 states in 50 weeks in search of America.

10:26Robin Williams and the feel-good comedy.

10:28Patch Adams, 8, 7 central, ABC Saturday.

10:31By certain brands of cost share of it, are being pulled from the market.

10:34And late word of a major San Diego deployment this weekend.

10:3810 News starts now.

10:41Oakland, Denver.

10:43Monday night at 9 Eastern, 6 Pacific.

10:44We spent a busy night at the airport, and it's just beginning.

10:49The holiday travel rush is on.

10:51Plus, the price of Pokemon, what every parent should know, next at 11.

10:56Robin Williams, Nathan Lane.

10:59The third cage, ABC this Saturday.

11:02This is Rob Marciano in the KT Weather Center.

11:04A few more clouds are expected tonight,

11:06so it shouldn't be quite as cold here in Portland tomorrow morning.

11:09Your complete forecast is coming up.

11:10You know I do.

11:12Who's your daddy?

11:13You are.

11:15Come on, who's your daddy?

11:16Oh, I don't know.

11:18I said, who's your daddy?

11:20I am.

11:21I'm her daddy.

11:24That was a rhetorical question.

11:27In-laws.

11:28NBC Tuesdays this fall.

11:30So who's your mom?

11:32Which tradition?

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