00:00Welcome! The focus of my research is the interplay between psychology and technology.
00:10How can psychology be used to improve technology? What changes as a result of...
00:18Technology in our everyday lives, including in our behavior towards other people, and where do the dangers lurk?
00:24Are there conflicts there too? And that's exactly the topic of my presentation today: digital etiquette and social media.
00:31Norm conflicts. A short example best illustrates what this means. Imagine...
00:38Just imagine, you're sitting with your best friend in a café or in the park.
00:45and finally have time to chat comfortably again. The last few weeks have been turbulent,
00:52A lot of stress. Then last night that stupid argument at home and now it hurts.
00:58It's simply good that someone is there for you, listening. But then they contact your
01:05Opposite them is the smartphone. And that person immediately grabs their phone and starts typing.
01:12Apparently a very important message or a cat video, it's hard to tell. They are
01:18I've logged out for now. This isn't meant to be offensive, it's probably just an automatic thing.
01:24Reaction. When technology calls, you react. Total breakdown in communication between the two of you. Not.
01:33Except that now you have to interrupt your story, your emotions, mid-sentence. Perhaps you think
01:38You too, that's outrageous. You just don't do that. Psychology would say, a typical
01:46Norm conflict. A violation of social norms. Social norms have always regulated our interactions.
01:55These are everyday acts of consideration and courtesy. Small things like letting others in the door.
02:02stopping, offering a seat on the bus, or even implicit rules of communication. For example,
02:08How openly do I express my opinion? To friends, to the boss – hierarchies often play a role here.
02:15In short, anyone who wants to make good progress both professionally and personally, anyone who wants to be successful, must
02:23They know these rules of the game. Social norms therefore have a very, very important function. They ensure that
02:30Our society functions, giving a feeling of belonging, of security, also a
02:38Mutual trust that we will both abide by these rules. Social norms are therefore also a
02:44A safe space for encounters between people, an expression of respect, of mindfulness towards the other person. And now, however, it is the case that in
02:56In our increasingly digital world, this is something that is getting lost more and more. We increasingly find ourselves in situations where something like two...
03:06Opposing positions. One rather traditional norm, such as giving full attention to the conversation partner, and another, one could
03:14They say that newer, modern standards mean digital communication takes precedence. And this is just one example from our...
03:23A research study in which we examined precisely such situations. What we did was that we...
03:29Participants were asked to describe events and occurrences from their everyday lives. Conflicts or misunderstandings in
03:38In connection with technology. We then had over 100 such reports and case studies, and what we found there are...
03:46There are roughly four types of conflict, all of which can be interpreted as norm conflicts. Type 1, one characterized by the
03:55Technology-based norm violation is essentially exactly what we just discussed in this initial example.
04:01have become acquainted with it. The technology does something, and this then creates a conflict, such as the interruption of direct communication.
04:09The conversation is interrupted by the beeping of the smartphone. We have this norm of undivided attention.
04:16Surely everyone has been hurt at some point, unintentionally of course. We wanted to listen, to be attentive to the...
04:24They were sitting opposite each other, but then they did something else on the side. They opened a letter, rummaged in their bag,
04:30Putting away the dishes or quickly checking your smartphone to see what's new. I know.
04:37I don't care how you are. Perhaps you're thinking, well, it's a bit of an exaggeration to put it like that.
04:42We'll see. We all don't have much time, it's really not a big deal. Just check emails on the side.
04:47Or checking Instagram, that's just part of life these days. And yes, if you look around, it seems that way.
04:55It's already widespread. Go to a café and count the tables where you don't see a smartphone.
05:01I saw it lying around somewhere. I'm curious if you'll even find one. So, if you look at this...
05:07Looking at the development from this perspective, the violation of the norm becomes the new norm somewhere along the line. And that is type 2 in our
05:14Study on norm erosion. This now affects not only attention, but other norms are also eroding.
05:20For example, reliability, punctuality. A study participant who told us something like that...
05:26Ever since WhatsApp came along, practically no one is on time anymore. You get the feeling it bothers people.
05:30There's absolutely no need to be late anymore. You can always let them know. Like, "I've been informed."
05:35If that's what you said, then it's fine. And yes, let's be honest, if you didn't have a mobile phone with you, maybe
05:43If people would make a little more of an effort to be on time at the agreed meeting point. That is to say, the
05:49The technological possibility creates a behavior that nobody actually wants. Or
05:56Maybe so. Perhaps this is the new, relaxed lack of commitment, the new lifestyle.
06:03That means we don't have a real agreement on this. Instead, there are differing positions.
06:10side by side. And that's what we called Type 3 in our study: norm fragmentation. Another
06:16An example that fits very well here is the situation of a restaurant visit where the parents
06:22They were finally going to meet their daughter's new boyfriend. And yes, the atmosphere was cozy. They were sitting.
06:28They sit together at the dinner table, get along well, gain favor, it works. But even then
06:34It happens again; technology interferes. The young man's cell phone rings, he answers it.
06:41he answers the call, talks on the phone quite calmly at the dinner table, and apparently doesn't even think about it.
06:46There's nothing wrong with his behavior being perceived negatively in any way. On the contrary, one could even say so.
06:53You can see the ambitious young businessman, a good catch, taking care of his business around the clock.
07:01That means, depending on the interpretation, the same behavior may appear different to one person.
07:09In one case it's outrageous, reckless, completely unacceptable. In the other case it might even be
07:15It is desirable to behave in this way. The whole thing becomes even more complicated when technology now introduces new forms of
07:22It creates social interactions for which there can be no established norms yet. This applies, for example, to...
07:29This communication via chat? Services like Skype and WhatsApp. One possible interpretation would be that you can see it.
07:38like a direct conversation, like direct contact, only mediated across a distance. Then it would
07:46You can say yes; here too, you greet each other, you say goodbye. If you ask a question
07:53If you receive a message, you should respond, preferably immediately. That means you don't suddenly leave the room.
07:59It makes the other person look stupid. That's exactly what happens quite often in WhatsApp. Here, for example...
08:06a study participant who was somewhat frustrated with her boyfriend and just described it to us,
08:12I can see clearly that he has read my message, I can see that from the blue ticks, for hours there were none
08:17Answer. But I'm waiting for the answer, I want to plan the day together, I feel frustrated and
08:22Neglected. Yes, one can now ask how to evaluate the young man's behavior?
08:28Is this an outrage, a provocation, or does he simply have a completely different...
08:36How do we interpret WhatsApp? It doesn't look like a conversation, but rather like an exchange of letters.
08:42People simply reply when it suits them, depending on time and preference. That means there's another clash here.
08:49two interpretations of the same situation, and depending on which parallel one chooses
08:55Now, considering the implications, one arrives at different conclusions about what constitutes good and bad behavior. There is, after all, a prevailing opinion.
09:02No real agreement, therefore we refer to it as Type 4: the norm of confusion. Something similar can be observed.
09:09also seen on social media, for example, birthday invitations via social media. Since a
09:15A participant told us, "I posted my birthday invitation as an event on Facebook."
09:21I created this and sent it to about 20 people. Some people responded, said yes, or said...
09:28Some I hear nothing from, others I don't hear at all. Personally, I would expect to receive a
09:34I get a response, and I'm sad if it doesn't happen. But others might not even notice.
09:39Disturbing. That is to say, this participant is even aware of the confusion of norms. She says, "I am sad."
09:47Others wouldn't mind. But she's still frustrated in the end. And this reaction, and also this
09:54These developments are entirely understandable from a psychological perspective. This is because social norms...
10:01If it is broken, it throws many things into disarray, creates resentment, distance between people, and becomes
10:08This is also very clear when one considers the parallels to intercultural conflicts, which also often arise from
10:16Different social norms arise. These are simply everyday rules of social interaction.
10:23so commonplace that if you grew up with them, you wouldn't even think of it
10:28It's coming. It could also be different. For example, how do you form a queue in the supermarket?
10:34or punctuality. So if I say I'll come to you tomorrow at four, do I really mean it?
10:41I'll arrive at four or five past four, or could it be five or six? There are big differences.
10:46Differences between cultures. And if you know that, you can of course deal with it.
10:52One can correctly interpret the other person's behavior. One knows that seemingly impolite behavior
10:59It's not necessarily meant to be impolite. And there are exactly different ways to do it today.
11:05Digital cultures. And especially in these times, when meetings or even personal conversations are becoming increasingly difficult.
11:13With the near-complete shift to digital channels, it becomes clear how important it is to maintain genuine connections here as well.
11:21To maintain communication quality. That means, the next time you shake your head at your
11:28Fellow human beings, consider it from the perspective of social norms. Human beings originate from
11:33perhaps from a completely different digital culture than yourself. And you observe the same thing.
11:39Yourself. What is your digital culture? What are your expectations? Does it make you nervous?
11:47What if you have to wait longer than five minutes for a response? Do you expect others to treat your needs with respect?
11:54Do I need to interrupt my work to answer you? A short answer is always possible.
11:59Yes, and what if someone else interrupts the direct conversation with you to speak to someone else?
12:04Answer? Surely you can wait a moment, right? Yes, and that's where you notice how often that's a
12:12It makes a difference. Depending on the role you're in, things also change slightly.
12:17Standards. In any case, it makes sense to exchange ideas and discuss how you see it.
12:24Do you? That could be a first step towards understanding. Thank you for your
12:32Perhaps even undivided attention. Thank you very much.
