- 2 hours ago
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🎥
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00:00Mmm, baby, you did your thing with this pot, bro.
00:06Aw, thank you.
00:08But as usual, I made too much.
00:10Well, Miss Tina, if you don't mind,
00:12I'd be happy to take the rest of this to the shelter.
00:15That is so sweet.
00:16Yeah.
00:18Yes, yes, it is.
00:20And which shelter are you taking it to?
00:22The Cresthaven Men's Shelter.
00:24Mm.
00:25That's his apartment, Tina.
00:26Uh, mm-mm.
00:30Malcolm, you know the rules.
00:31No phones at the dinner table.
00:33I'm sorry, Mama, I'm just...
00:35I'm waiting on a work email.
00:36Yep, that's right, son, family first.
00:40Hell, yeah!
00:44Hell, yeah, what?
00:45Hell, yeah, family first.
00:48That's right.
00:51Mama, Daddy's watching the basketball game.
00:54What?
00:56You've got to be kidding me.
00:58Hey, see, see, that's why Malcolm's my favorite.
01:01And that's why I snitched.
01:10Malcolm, why are you getting work emails at 7 at night?
01:14Because the emails are coming from Dubai tomorrow morning.
01:17Oh.
01:18Who's from Dubai?
01:19Mercedes, the, um, real housewife that I'm ghostwriting for.
01:23She's celebrating her divorce in Dubai, so the whole cast is there.
01:28She's divorcing Garnett already?
01:32He, he was her soulmate.
01:33Oh, my God, this season is gonna be so good.
01:38Well, apparently, my book is not going to be good.
01:41Getting all these notes from my people saying that I'm not capturing her voice.
01:45Uh-huh, well, here's an idea.
01:47Watch her damn show.
01:50Yeah, I already watched, like, a hundred viral clips.
01:53Now, all it is is a bunch of rich women who don't do anything, huh?
01:56Just brunch and pilates, brunch and pilates.
01:59Now, I'm not ghostwriting her autobiography.
02:01It's a romance novel.
02:03Malcolm, you have to watch her show to get her essence.
02:06She has layers.
02:09All right, fine.
02:10I will watch the show.
02:14You've got to be kidding me.
02:16Amen.
02:17Amen.
02:23Alvin, give me the damn phone.
02:26Mm-hmm.
02:30Oh.
02:30That-that's my phone.
02:36Cal-Calvin, you-you got to get it back.
02:38I'm in the doghouse, Trey.
02:39Did you see where she put it?
02:41It's gonna be at least a week before I get anything out of there.
02:45Welcome to the block, welcome to the neighborhood.
02:48Welcome to the hood.
03:00Hey, honey.
03:02Uh, can't help noticing you have a dog sled.
03:07Yes, I do, Dave.
03:09Remember that silent auction at school
03:10where I asked you to start the bidding on a few things
03:12to get people excited?
03:14Well, it didn't get them so excited, so...
03:17here we are.
03:20I do remember.
03:22You know, it's from the movie...
03:24Snow Dog.
03:27Signed by Cuba Gooding Jr.
03:30Can't believe it went for the minimum bid.
03:33Oh, not just that.
03:34We also got a hot air balloon ride in Ojai,
03:37a full-body skin cancer check.
03:39Ooh, this one might actually be fun.
03:42A four-person box at the Hollywood Bowl.
03:46Box seats.
03:47Always wanted to know what it'd feel like
03:48to sit in a lap of luxury.
03:50What-what is it?
03:50Ooh, I hope it's a Grease sing-along.
03:53You could be Sandy, I could be Rizzo.
03:57Why wouldn't you be Danny?
03:59Rizzo speaks to me.
04:00Okay.
04:02Well, it's not Grease.
04:04It is Tchaikovsky Under the Stars.
04:07Huh.
04:09Well, he's good, I guess.
04:13We're always saying that we want to see more classical music.
04:15We do.
04:16And it's free.
04:17I mean, it was $350,
04:19but we already spent it,
04:20so now it's free.
04:21Dave, is that a dog sled?
04:31Oh, it's not just any dog sled.
04:34Perhaps you remember the movie Snow Dogs?
04:38Oh, yeah, the one with the St. Bernard.
04:40The...
04:41No, that's Beethoven.
04:43Is that the big red dog?
04:46That's Clifford,
04:47the big red dog.
04:50Okay, if you say so.
04:52Well, Gemma's school had a silent auction,
04:55got a pretty sweet haul,
04:57including a box at the Hollywood Bowl.
04:59Oh, now, that's cool.
05:01Isn't it?
05:01I mean, it's Tchaikovsky.
05:02Otherwise, we would have invited you and Tina.
05:05Otherwise?
05:07What do you mean, otherwise?
05:10Well, it's Tchaikovsky.
05:11It's classical.
05:12Yeah, I know who Tchaikovsky is.
05:15Oh.
05:16Well, I just...
05:16I didn't think that was your thing.
05:18Oh, not our thing.
05:20What, because Tina and I are too uncultured
05:23to like classical music?
05:25Is that it, Dave?
05:25No, no, no.
05:28Look, I just had always thought of you
05:30as more of a jazz soul.
05:34A little side baby type of guy.
05:36Oh, okay, okay.
05:37Now, I get it.
05:38Thanks for clarifying.
05:40What, are you just pitching me
05:41standing over a trash can fire,
05:43warming my hands,
05:44singing doo-wop,
05:45doo-whee-whee-whee-whee-whee-whee?
05:47No, come on, Calvin.
05:48I didn't say that.
05:49Well, you didn't have to.
05:51A lowbrow like me
05:52couldn't possibly appreciate
05:54classical music
05:55the way a sophisticate like you does.
05:58Ha, I got it.
05:59Calvin, I didn't mean it like that.
06:01You know what?
06:01Why don't you and Tina come with us?
06:02You know what?
06:03We will.
06:04Great.
06:04Looking forward to a night
06:06of Tchaikovsky.
06:09Oh, yeah.
06:13Tina,
06:14do you want to hear the crap
06:16that just came out of Dave's mouth?
06:18Is this about black spatulas
06:20being toxic again?
06:21I am not replacing all my spatulas.
06:23No.
06:26Dave got tickets
06:27to the Hollywood Bowl,
06:29but didn't invite us
06:30because he assumed
06:31that we don't like classical music.
06:34How ignorant is that?
06:37Hey, do you want to hear
06:39something crazy?
06:41Calvin wants to go
06:42to that concert with us.
06:43Really?
06:44Yeah.
06:45You think you know somebody.
06:46Turns out he loves classical music.
06:49I hate classical music.
06:53Then why are we going?
06:55Because he assumes
06:57that we don't want to go.
06:59I mean, Dave thinks
06:59he's more cultured than us
07:01because he likes music
07:02with a clarinet
07:04to that big-ass violin.
07:07Cellos?
07:08No, babe.
07:09You know,
07:09the violin,
07:10the big one,
07:11that'd be on the floor.
07:12With the pointy bag,
07:14you know.
07:15That's definitely a cello.
07:18Good.
07:19Good, good.
07:20You know what?
07:20I can't wait
07:21to let his ass know
07:21I know that.
07:23Oh, well,
07:24it'll be fun
07:24to have them along.
07:26Remember,
07:26we always talked about
07:27going to see more classical music.
07:28Yeah, and yet,
07:29you notice
07:30we never actually went.
07:33Look, truth is,
07:34I'm not into that stuff.
07:36You know,
07:36my mom used to make me go,
07:37but only because
07:38her special friend Steve
07:39played the French horn.
07:42So just give them
07:43off our tickets.
07:44And let Calvin think
07:46that I'm some sort of bumpkin?
07:48No way.
07:49We have to go.
07:51We have to go, Tina.
07:53To make a point.
07:55Just because we don't happen
07:57to like classical music
07:58doesn't mean
07:59that we aren't
08:00classical music people.
08:06That's exactly
08:07what it means.
08:09Wow.
08:10Whose side are you on?
08:14So you and Calvin
08:15will bring sandwiches
08:16to the concert,
08:17and Dave will bring
08:18a charcuterie board.
08:19Oh, is Dave going to do
08:20all those weird origami things
08:22with the cold cuts?
08:24He sure is.
08:25You know Dave
08:25loves his meat flowers.
08:26Tina.
08:29Yeah?
08:29Port back your Tupperware.
08:31Hey, any chance
08:32you made lasagna last night?
08:34Get away from me.
08:38Just put these on the table.
08:41Okay, so let's talk wine.
08:43Hmm.
08:44Well, we'll be at the bowl
08:45for like three hours.
08:46How many bottles
08:46should we bring?
08:47For classical music?
08:49A case.
08:50What?
08:51It's not going to be that bad.
08:53Look, if you want to have
08:55a good time
08:55at something boring,
08:57my extensive research
08:58suggests you should take
09:00gummies.
09:03Gummies?
09:03Huh?
09:04Well, it's an idea.
09:07It should be.
09:09I mean, we have to.
09:09We can't.
09:10It's fine.
09:10We could.
09:11We'll have wine too.
09:11I don't know.
09:12Let's go.
09:14Look, I'm telling you,
09:15it's got me through
09:16a lot of things
09:17that I didn't want to go to.
09:18Oh, Gemma,
09:19we are doing it.
09:20Well, you're so bad.
09:24Trey, do you know
09:24any dealers?
09:27Dealers?
09:28This is California.
09:29There's five wheat shops
09:30on Marengo.
09:32Hey, look,
09:33tell them Trey sent you,
09:34you'll get $10 off.
09:36Which one?
09:37Any one of them.
09:40Good news.
09:41The tickets came
09:42with a parking pass.
09:44Just so you know,
09:45it is stacked.
09:46So?
09:47I'm just saying
09:48if you want to leave
09:48the concert early,
09:49you won't be able to.
09:51Are you saying
09:52that you want
09:53to leave early, Dave?
09:55No, not me.
09:56Don't be silly.
09:57I can't get enough
09:58Tchaikovsky.
09:59Oh, me either.
10:01Did you know
10:01that he died of cholera
10:03nine days after
10:04the premiere
10:05of his sixth symphony?
10:07No, yeah, no.
10:08I knew that.
10:0818, 9, 93.
10:09Yeah, yeah, yeah.
10:11That's the year
10:11he died.
10:13Yeah, I'ma pop
10:14my gummy now.
10:15Oh, God, yes.
10:17Be cool, be cool, be cool.
10:19Dave's a narc.
10:21Oh, God.
10:23That nagging cough
10:24is back.
10:26Excuse me
10:27while I cough.
10:29What?
10:34That's better.
10:35Small.
10:37Real small.
10:37I know.
10:40All right.
10:41Here it is.
10:42The Trophy Divas
10:43of Brentwood.
10:45Oh, my God,
10:46it's five seasons.
10:47Oh, okay.
10:48Where do you want
10:49to start?
10:50I don't really think
10:50it matters, Marty.
10:52How about this one?
10:53Look, three facelifts
10:54and a funeral.
10:58Hey.
10:58Hey.
10:59Hey.
10:59I found it.
11:01Mercedes' personal
11:02brand of rosé.
11:04And it's the good stuff.
11:05Two bottles
11:06for $9.
11:09Previously
11:09on Trophy Divas
11:10of Brentwood.
11:11Don't you ever talk
11:13about my
11:13husband you bit.
11:15You mean the husband
11:16I saw at the rooster
11:17house last night?
11:18Stop filming.
11:19I want a producer.
11:20I need a producer.
11:21Oh, my God.
11:23Did that woman
11:24just take her wig off
11:25and throw it in
11:25a Mercedes suit?
11:26Okay, okay.
11:28I think we need
11:29to start from
11:29the previous episode
11:30so we can see
11:30how we got to
11:31wig and soup.
11:32Yeah.
11:36Coach.
11:37Calvin, please.
11:38What?
11:38I'm hungry.
11:39Why don't we
11:40take a picture
11:40of my charcuterie art
11:41for my Insta first?
11:42Oh, wait.
11:44I got to put
11:44my biscotti assortment
11:46up there.
11:49What's that look for, Dave?
11:51You thought I'd bring
11:52a common cookie
11:52to a Philharmonic?
11:54Oh, Coach.
11:56Okay.
11:57Well, for the record,
11:59I, too, love biscotti.
12:01And I can't wait
12:02to hear the cello.
12:06Who brought
12:07the black tongs?
12:09Well, congratulations.
12:11The platter
12:12is now contaminated.
12:15It's Mr. Ryan,
12:16the teacher
12:16from our school.
12:19So?
12:20So, I'm high
12:21as a kite.
12:23You weren't
12:23just a second ago.
12:24Well, these things
12:25really kick in fast.
12:27Okay.
12:27Calm down, okay, Gemma?
12:29It's just in your head.
12:31I'm cool.
12:32I am cool.
12:33Okay.
12:35I'm just gonna look
12:36this way
12:36the whole concert.
12:39Wow.
12:40Principal Johnson.
12:42Tina.
12:42Small world.
12:44Hello, Mr. Ryan.
12:46So lovely to see you
12:48under the stars.
12:49Are you also here
12:52for the concert?
12:55Aren't we all?
12:58You good?
13:00I sure am.
13:05He knows.
13:07I gotta say,
13:19that episode
13:20was a ice.
13:20Yes, it was.
13:21Yeah, but
13:22Mercedes was wrong
13:23for getting on the ATV
13:24with London's man.
13:25Yeah.
13:25But Sienna
13:25tried to warn her.
13:26Yeah, but she's not
13:27gonna listen to Sienna
13:27after that fight
13:28with Savannah.
13:30Why is every woman
13:31on this show
13:32named after
13:33a city or a car?
13:34All right,
13:36you know what?
13:37I'm glad we did that.
13:39I think I'm starting
13:40to get a better sense
13:40of her personality.
13:42So, Laker game?
13:43Hell yeah.
13:44Let's go.
13:58I wonder what's gonna happen
13:59on Tahoe's yachts.
14:00It's not gonna be good.
14:01Especially after Sienna
14:03said her neck
14:04had more lines
14:05than notebook paper.
14:06And you know
14:07Tahoe got them hands.
14:08Yeah.
14:09Well, I mean, look,
14:10the Lakers already up
14:11by four in the second quarter.
14:12We know how this gonna end.
14:14What we don't know
14:15is what's gonna happen
14:16on that yacht.
14:17Turn it back!
14:18Come on!
14:20One more episode.
14:21Somebody going overboard.
14:22Yeah, she might die today.
14:23Jose Nevis.
14:24Let's go.
14:24Mr. Ryan is going
14:32to tell everybody
14:33I'm done.
14:34I'm gonna be on Dateline.
14:36It was a night of music
14:37that turned into
14:38a nightmare
14:39of drug-fueled mayhem
14:41for the pretty principal.
14:43Chill off!
14:45Don't nobody know
14:47your ass.
14:50And besides,
14:51gummies are legal.
14:54Shh!
14:54Shh!
14:56Shh!
14:56Shh!
14:56Shh!
14:57Shh!
14:59I'm killing my vibe.
15:03Calvin,
15:03what is wrong
15:04with our wives?
15:06Whoo!
15:07Oh, I'm starving!
15:09Oh!
15:11Pepperoni flour!
15:12Oh, my God.
15:15Oh, oh,
15:16these cheese cubes,
15:17they look just like dice.
15:19Oh, come on, now.
15:21Baby needed
15:22new bad shoes.
15:27Did she just
15:28throw cheese at me?
15:31Calvin,
15:32if I didn't know better,
15:32I'd say that they were high.
15:34Calvin?
15:36Calvin.
15:36What, Dave?
15:37I'm in a zone here.
15:39Do you have
15:40an earbud in?
15:41Oh,
15:42I'll give you that.
15:44The Lakers game?
15:48Dave,
15:48you put my
15:49earbud in your ear?
15:50That's nasty.
15:52Tina,
15:52you got a wet nap.
15:54Tina,
15:54you got a wet nap?
15:57Tina,
15:58you hear that?
15:58Oh.
15:59Every time I talk,
16:00I hear somebody
16:02saying what I'm saying
16:03and she sounds
16:04just like me.
16:08You know, Dave,
16:08if I didn't know better,
16:09I would think
16:10our wives are high as hell.
16:13That is what
16:13I was trying to tell you.
16:15This is great.
16:16They're stoned
16:17and you're not even
16:18listening to this
16:18boring funeral music.
16:20Boring?
16:21So you don't like it?
16:23No,
16:23and neither do you.
16:24You know,
16:24if you didn't like it,
16:25why don't you just tell me?
16:26Well,
16:26that's because you
16:27assumed I didn't like it.
16:29And you don't.
16:30Well,
16:30it's not because
16:31I could like it.
16:32I like sophisticated stuff.
16:33I like Mascotti.
16:35You do?
16:37No,
16:38it ain't hard as hell.
16:39Whatever.
16:40You know what?
16:40Here's your earbud back.
16:42I'm not putting this
16:43back in my ear.
16:44It's got your wax on it.
16:48And now,
16:49thanks to you,
16:49all I got to do
16:50is just sit here
16:51and listen to this.
16:53I'm sorry,
16:53but will you guys
16:54please quiet down?
16:56We'll do you one better, Scott.
16:57We're going to leave.
16:58Oh, God, yes, yes.
16:59We're in stacked parking.
17:01Nobody's going anywhere.
17:02Cheech, Chon, sit down.
17:05Now Mr. Ryan
17:06definitely knows.
17:07Everybody knows.
17:16I got to say,
17:18Mama was right.
17:19Mercedes does have layers.
17:21In a weird way,
17:22I admire her resilience
17:23and her honesty.
17:25Okay,
17:25am I the only one
17:26that got teary-eyed
17:28when she sang hallelujah
17:29at her Frenchie's funeral?
17:32No, you were not.
17:33Peppa went way too soon.
17:35Oh, Lord!
17:37All right,
17:38you know what?
17:39I think I am ready
17:40to write for her now.
17:41I can definitely
17:42hear her voice.
17:42And when she's not
17:43screaming and throwing things,
17:45she's actually
17:46pretty interesting.
17:47And sent.
17:49Sent what?
17:51I just sent Savannah
17:52a DM on Instagram.
17:54What?
17:55She just found out
17:56that a husband
17:57is gay
17:57at a dog funeral.
17:59I got a shot.
18:01I mean,
18:02he's not wrong.
18:03It's a long shot.
18:04Calvin,
18:19you okay?
18:20I'm fine.
18:23Are you high, too?
18:26No, Dave.
18:27I'm just listening
18:27to the music.
18:29You actually like this?
18:31It's actually
18:32the most beautiful thing
18:33I've ever heard
18:34in my life.
18:35Really?
18:36Okay, well,
18:37I guess I underestimated you.
18:39You know,
18:39your ignorance
18:40is astounding.
18:43Calvin,
18:44I'm sorry.
18:44I had no...
18:45It's at lease.
18:56Whoo!
18:57Yeah, baby!
19:00Whoo!
19:01Yeah!
19:02Yeah!
19:04Yeah.
19:09Yeah!
19:10Can we talk about the dinner party with the psychic?
19:30Oh, that was insane.
19:31Madam Rosa was uncanny.
19:34Now, look, I'm a man of science,
19:36but Barcelona should have listened
19:37when she predicted Clay would cheat on her.
19:39Right, right. With her accountability code?
19:41That part. That part.
19:42See? I knew you guys would love it.
19:46Speaking of which, you know the reunion show just dropped.
19:49You want to pop the rest of these bad boys and watch?
19:51Heck yeah, we are so bad.
19:54What?
20:09Gets me every time.
20:16Well, I'm sorry, Calvin.
20:17You know, I should have never musically profiled you.
20:20Well, I'm not surprised.
20:23Calvin has always appreciated exquisite beauty, obviously.
20:28That's right.
20:29Hey, you think I can get Trey's phone back?
20:33Oh, I gave it back.
20:35But, uh, you could fish around in there
20:37and see what else you could find.
20:38Mm-hmm.
20:39Mm-hmm.
20:41Why? Why?
20:43Mm-hmm.
20:44All right.
20:45All right.
20:46All right.
20:53All right.
20:53All right.
20:57climate change.
20:59All right.
20:59That's a good way.
21:00All right.
21:01All right.
21:02Let's go, in entonces.
21:05We're so good.
21:08That's a good one, though.
21:09Let's go, inuye.
21:10You
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