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18:47It was five hours one day. It was five hours stood on a thing like this and I honestly do think I freaked them out.
18:54They were like, I don't understand what's happening here.
18:57Imagine people walking past going, that statue of Keira Knightley's in a weird place, isn't it?
19:01Don't you put the statue there? Yeah, yeah.
19:04Madame Dessau's had a clear out. Yeah.
19:07I like that there's something so bloody-minded about it.
19:10I know, it was, it was a bit. And, you know, and again, it was quite fun going, oh, this is what freaks you out.
19:15If you run away, that doesn't freak you out. But if you stand still and just stand there, completely freaks them out.
19:20Yeah. Now, the second half of Manala's book is a love story.
19:25Yes. So, tell us about Asar.
19:28Yeah, I met him through some friends in college and the moment I saw him, I knew he was a good-looking guy.
19:35There he is. Can I just ask Manala, how long does he spend doing his hair? That is some careful hair.
19:41Forever. Yeah, it's true, it's true. I mean, I'm like,
19:44why are you in the toilet for hours? Like, you know, how much gel do you need to put on your hair?
19:49LAUGHTER
19:51But... But you met him and you thought, hello. Yes.
19:53And the first experience was go-karting. And I had a mini crash at go-karting. And I, you know, made it into a big deal.
20:03He was beside me and I told him, I said, you don't understand, I think I had a concussion.
20:08LAUGHTER
20:09But he was, he was trying to make me feel normal. He was being funny. He reminded me that I was driving at five miles per hour.
20:16LAUGHTER
20:18But we immediately connected. He has a good sense of humour. He laughed at my jokes, which is important.
20:23Yes. Yes. And how difficult is it to, you know, to date Malala? Because you have security with you all the time.
20:30Yeah, I took him to this movie, Toy Story 4, and I was like, relax, you know, we're together, enjoy the popcorn.
20:37And he said, there's, like, bodyguards behind me. You want me to relax?
20:42So, yeah, I understood it from his point of view, of course, but I said, you know, just be yourself.
20:49Yeah. Yeah. Forget about those men.
20:52Exactly.
20:53At any moment, just get rid of you.
20:55Oh, yes, they, they started looking after me. Yeah.
20:59Especially after, like, the Nobel Peace Prize. Yeah. Wow.
21:02Wow. And they, is that kind of forever in your head? Do you kind of think, that's it now? I've just got security?
21:07So far, yes. Yeah. So, um... Wow. And I don't want to spoil the ending of the book, but you are a married lady now.
21:13Yes. And I've suddenly been struck by a question. What star sign is Asa?
21:18He's a Virgo. Is that a good name? Very good. Yeah. Very good. I'm married to a Virgo.
21:23OK. Yeah. But he was a premature baby and he was supposed to be a Scorpio. Oh. What does that...
21:29But both would have worked for you. Yeah, I think... Yeah, both would have worked.
21:32Maybe like a bit of a mix. He has traces of a Scorpio. OK, that's good. That'll keep you on your toes.
21:36LAUGHTER
21:37Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
21:40Amy Lou Wood has spoken. Yes.
21:43And Chris, you're married to a Brazilian woman. Yeah.
21:46And now you decided...
21:48LAUGHTER
21:49You decided to do quite a big romantic gesture, I think, quite early on.
21:53Well, I was never good at languages as a kid in school and, obviously, you know, she speaks Portuguese with her family and stuff.
21:59So I thought, well, I'm an adult now. I want to learn her language and kind of, you know, be part of that culture, really.
22:07And I thought, well, I can just speak it with her when she's at home as well and I'll learn really fast and it'll progress.
22:12So, two months in, I'm learning the language and she's coming home from work.
22:17And in the end, she said, please stop.
22:19She said, I can't handle this. I'm at work all day. I'm coming home.
22:23She said, it's like speaking to a toddler.
22:25Because I was like... She'd come home and was like, today is Wednesday.
22:30LAUGHTER
22:32I have bought a hat.
22:34LAUGHTER
22:36I am a businessman from Sao Paulo.
22:39LAUGHTER
22:42APPLAUSE
22:44And, you know, Malala, this book, a lot of it's about you adapting kind of to Western society,
22:50but it's also a story about your parents and how they've adapted and changed a lot.
22:56Yeah, my mum especially. She was very new to the UK culture.
23:00She couldn't speak English initially, so she had to adjust to everything.
23:05But my mum was also, you know, very strict.
23:09She wanted me to be strict to the Pakistani traditional culture.
23:12And so we... So when I met Prince Harry, we were taking a photo together.
23:21So he put his, like, arm around my shoulder, if you don't mind, like this.
23:25And my mum goes off to him and she says, remove, like...
23:29LAUGHTER
23:31She just, like, shoves off his hand.
23:33And a bit of a background to this.
23:35So, you know, for my mum, it was always a concern that her daughter is safe
23:39because in patriarchal cultures, you know, girls are not allowed to be outside their homes
23:45or, like, to see another guy or...
23:49So she was just always worried.
23:50She said, I'm not ready to, like, receive another backlash
23:52and, you know, see another controversy happening.
23:55And then there was another moment where I took a picture with David Beckham.
23:59And again, we were, like, you know, standing sort of close together.
24:02And again, my parents were, like, freaking out
24:04because they were receiving calls from our conservative relatives
24:08that, you know, why is Malala standing next to a man?
24:11And I said, firstly, I'm 17.
24:13Secondly, that's David Beckham.
24:15LAUGHTER
24:18So...
24:19But my mum and I, like, we are becoming more of friends now.
24:23And she...
24:25You know, she's...
24:27Now, like, I just like watching her focus on herself.
24:31She's learning English.
24:33She loves shopping.
24:34I mean, she's at John Lewis more than at home.
24:37LAUGHTER
24:38And, yeah, she loves Pilates.
24:40So she's exploring these new things.
24:41So I'm very happy for her.
24:43And we should say that, of course, your work continues
24:46with the Malala Fund and you're building schools...
24:49Yes.
24:50..and you're getting your message out there still.
24:51Yeah, we work in a lot of countries, including Afghanistan,
24:54where education is banned for girls.
24:56We are supporting online learning and underground schools.
25:00And we're also working in Pakistan, of course.
25:02We have invested more than $15 million in education activists.
25:08And we built a school there in my parents' village.
25:11And there was no high school for girls there.
25:14So we wanted to make a difference in our community.
25:17And I met the first class of girls who graduated this year
25:21from that school.
25:22And it was amazing that their lives have changed completely.
25:24Wow.
25:26It's an amazing story.
25:28And Malala's book is called Finding My Way.
25:31Malala Yousafzai, everybody.
25:33Thank you so much.
25:35Amy Lou Wood, you bring us the second season
25:38of the hit sitcom Daddy Issues.
25:41So BBC One, BBC Three and BBC iPlayer in November.
25:45So, first season, it was a big hit.
25:47Yes, I'm just finding it funny that that's what's following that.
25:50I know.
25:51As I did it, I felt sorry for you.
25:54I felt sorry for you.
25:55No, I was just in such a deep moment of contemplation
25:58about your amazingness.
25:59And then I was like, yes, this thing.
26:01It's more amazing than everything in my life.
26:04Malala just said followed.
26:06Cinderella's tits are not full of yellow.
26:08Oh, yeah.
26:09That's true as well.
26:10I wasn't going to dwell on that, Chris.
26:16It's a broad church.
26:18Yes, exactly.
26:19All human life is here.
26:20Yes.
26:21So, Daddy Issues.
26:22Yes.
26:23Daddy Issues.
26:24It's important, Amy Lou Wood.
26:25It is very important.
26:26It matters.
26:27So, first season, Gemma, obviously, with...
26:31She's pregnant.
26:32Yes.
26:33But now, the baby's happened.
26:35So, what's going on in Gemma's life?
26:36Baby's happened.
26:37I love that.
26:38Yes, the baby's happened.
26:39And she's feeling quite lost, quite unanchored.
26:43She doesn't really know what her new identity is.
26:47She feels an amazing amount of gain from baby Sadie, but also loss of her old life.
26:53And she's missing her dad because her dad's moved out of the flat because her mum's moved in and her dad's terrified of her mum.
27:00So, we kind of meet her when she's trying to get her dad back and get her mum out.
27:06And we should say her dad, played by the amazing David Morrissey.
27:08David Morrissey.
27:09Yes.
27:10He's so brilliant.
27:11So brilliant.
27:12And it's actually bad how funny he is.
27:14It's bad.
27:15We can't get through the day.
27:16When I can get through a day without ruining a million takes, people actually come and say well done to me.
27:22The crew come up and go, you owned the corpse like six times today.
27:26Well done.
27:27It's just so much fun.
27:28And, of course, it's filmed in your hometown, Stockport.
27:31Yes.
27:32Yes.
27:33It's lovely.
27:34Yeah.
27:35I didn't say anything.
27:37I know.
27:38I don't know why.
27:39I'm always like, Stockport joke's coming.
27:41No.
27:42Do you actually film it there or is it just set there?
27:44No, we film it there and it's really...
27:46The first season I had people coming over going like, I know your auntie.
27:49You know, it's like, it's very cosy and nice, but also we get a lot of hecklers.
27:55Whenever we film on a certain street in Stockport, it's like, what's it going to be today?
28:00So it's fun.
28:01It's like a Greek chorus.
28:03Constantly in the background.
28:05We've got a clip.
28:06This is you as Gemma sort of getting back out there after the birth of your baby.
28:10Yes.
28:11Mmm.
28:14Now that is a tasty snack.
28:16Oh, if you're getting a snack, Gemma, I would love some peanuts.
28:19Yeah.
28:20Oh, bye!
28:24Hey.
28:25Hi.
28:26Is your friend Bill Cain?
28:27Mm-hmm.
28:28She's not had any tea, so...
28:31I'm Hodge.
28:33Paul Hodgson.
28:34People call me Hodge.
28:35I'm Gemma.
28:36People call me Gemma.
28:37Ah!
28:38Ow!
28:39You're having a heart attack.
28:42Oh!
28:43Well, let's hope so.
28:45So tell me about yourself, then.
28:47Well, I'll work in...
28:48Actually, no, I can't do that.
28:49I need to whimper.
28:50Mmm!
28:51Jerry!
28:53Oh!
28:54Yeah.
28:58Hi!
28:59Hey, babe.
29:00My boobs are about to explode.
29:01Oh, right.
29:02Are they fake?
29:03No, you're bellend.
29:04They're full of milk.
29:05Oh, my God.
29:06Why?
29:07She's just had a baby and she's missed a feed.
29:09How do I make it stop?
29:10You need to get the milk out.
29:11Erm...
29:12Shall I get a pen lid and a knife?
29:14Why?
29:15Like when people's throats swell up, stab the pen lid in and release the pressure.
29:18You want to perform a tracheotomy on her taste?
29:20Well, I don't know.
29:21How do men know so little about the female body?
29:24Come on, babe.
29:25It's like, Keira's mother would love that scene.
29:35Really, love it!
29:36It's like she wrote it.
29:37I mean it is.
29:38It's in the stars.
29:39It's written in the stars.
29:40It's in the stars.
29:41It's written in the stars.
29:42It's written in the stars.
29:43It's written in the stars.
29:44And Keira Knightley, you have a personal connection with daddy issues.
29:47My husband does the music.
29:48He does!
29:49Yeah, so I've actually seen it all and it's really good.
29:52Oh, good, cos I haven't seen him.
29:54No, I live with your face in my house, cos he works from the house,
29:57so I've literally, I've seen it all.
29:59It's great.
30:00Wow!
30:01And the music's really good.
30:02The music's really good, isn't it?
30:03The music's really good, yeah.
30:04Do you choose not to watch it, Amy?
30:05No, I've seen the first one.
30:07Oh, yeah.
30:08But I haven't, sorry, I don't know why I screamed.
30:10I've seen the first one.
30:13Yeah.
30:14But I haven't seen the second yet.
30:16OK.
30:17Not out of choice, I've just not been sent it.
30:19Oh.
30:20Keira, you can film it.
30:21I have seen the second, it's great.
30:22Obviously, it's not intended to me.
30:24Why can't I see it?
30:26I really feel like you should be able to see it.
30:28Yes.
30:29I'll ask for it.
30:30Yeah.
30:31And, er...
30:32Lala, should we go and have a drink?
30:33LAUGHTER
30:35And, Amy, here you are, back on the BBC, er, and it...
30:39I...
30:40You're probably very sick about talking about The White Lotus,
30:42but that show, The White Lotus...
30:44What? Which show?
30:45I know, we did all love it.
30:46But, like, did that...
30:47The attention that that show brought you...
30:49Yes.
30:50Has it kind of changed your life?
30:51Yes.
30:52Yeah.
30:53Yes.
30:54Cos, like, there's movies happening now and all sorts, yeah.
30:56Yeah, it's very intense.
30:57It's very intense.
30:58It is...
30:59People kept saying, your life's going to change,
31:00your life's going to change, and I was...
31:02I was kind of going, but I don't want it to.
31:04I just want to play this part.
31:05But then...
31:06And I kind of thought everyone was being dramatic,
31:09and then I realised they weren't being dramatic.
31:11It's a big, you know...
31:13I was going to go and get coffee on my street
31:15that no-one knows where I live,
31:16and then all of a sudden I'm being filmed.
31:18It was just that stuff.
31:19So, are you getting the Kira thing of people...
31:21Yeah, and I've just thought, that's what I need to do.
31:23I just need to stand still.
31:24Don't say you're dead.
31:25You won't get your coffee, which is annoying.
31:28No, but I...
31:29Yeah, but they could just replace the coffee in my hand.
31:31Oh, there you go, yeah.
31:32Yeah.
31:33Yeah.
31:34Yeah.
31:35But here's the thing,
31:36there were lots of fan theories about...
31:37You know, because we knew something bad was going to happen.
31:39Yes.
31:40There were lots of fan theories about what might have happened.
31:41Yeah.
31:42Somebody worked it out.
31:43I did.
31:44You did.
31:45OK, I've got a thing where I always guess what's going to happen
31:48in a TV show, and it causes big problems between me
31:50and my husband.
31:51Of course.
31:52Because quite often I write,
31:53and then I ruin the whole thing for him.
31:55So now I have to write it down on a piece of paper
31:57and hide it somewhere.
31:58Woo!
31:59So when I think about it, I write it down,
32:00and then it's hidden in a book,
32:01and then at the end of it, if I'm right,
32:03if I'm wrong, I just forget about it,
32:04but if I'm right, I go, look!
32:06I got it!
32:07And I was right.
32:0824 alternate versions.
32:09I killed you off.
32:10Before you got killed off, I was like,
32:11she's gone, she's too nice, she's gone.
32:13Well done.
32:14Yeah, thank you.
32:15Well done.
32:16But didn't you guess who did the shooting?
32:18No, I didn't guess who did the shooting,
32:19but I guessed the dad thing.
32:21I guessed that he was the dad of the other guy.
32:23Wow.
32:24And I guessed that early on too.
32:25I was like, please.
32:26Because I know, Malala, you watched White Lotus as well,
32:27didn't you?
32:28Yes, but I didn't guess anything.
32:29LAUGHTER
32:30It was all a terrible surprise.
32:32It was all a terrible surprise.
32:33That's fine.
32:34And, Amy, you also had an impact on Malala,
32:38because one of your first jobs, I think, you binge-watched.
32:42I know.
32:43Sex Education.
32:44And I...
32:45Yeah.
32:46And I watched it...
32:47That's so cool!
32:48Very cool.
32:49Yeah.
32:50But...
32:51It sounds different when you say it, Malala.
32:52I know.
32:53Yeah.
32:54Because I truly watched it as an educational show.
32:56LAUGHTER
32:57I actually learnt a lot.
32:58Like, honestly.
32:59I'm glad to have been of service.
33:00Yeah.
33:01LAUGHTER
33:02That's so cool.
33:03Was that your first ever screen job?
33:06It was, yes.
33:07Yes.
33:08Which was quite daunting, I imagine,
33:10because to be straight out of drama school and...
33:12Yeah.
33:13Yeah, it was very daunting.
33:14And we all kept being like,
33:15it's just going to go under the radar.
33:16Mm-hm.
33:17And we're just happy with that.
33:18It's going to be under the radar.
33:19And then it wasn't under the radar.
33:20No.
33:21But the good thing, you won a BAFTA for it.
33:22Yes.
33:23There you go.
33:24Yeah.
33:25Yeah.
33:26APPLAUSE
33:29And one of the...
33:30Filming these things, it did look fabulous.
33:31You know, you were staying in a fabulous hotel.
33:33You just did the women in Cabin 10.
33:36Cabin 10.
33:37How expensive was that superyacht you were filming on?
33:38It was something like 160 million for the superyacht.
33:40Wow.
33:41If you've got that in spare change,
33:42you can buy that superyacht.
33:43Wow.
33:44Yeah.
33:45And was it fabulous?
33:46No, I was really excited, because I was like,
33:47oh, I never get to, you know, film anywhere glamorous.
33:49And now it's a superyacht and there'll be champagne,
33:50it'll be gorgeous.
33:51And instead, it was like, we were crammed together,
33:54we weren't allowed to touch anything,
33:55you weren't allowed to sit on anything,
33:56because it was too expensive,
33:57you weren't allowed to walk on the carpets,
33:58because they were too expensive.
34:00So we were all sort of like that,
34:01we weren't allowed to drink anything.
34:02It was...
34:03And there was a woman whose job it was to fluff up the carpets.
34:08So she was a carpet fluffer, one might say.
34:10Wow.
34:11And if you put your toe on it,
34:12then you got hit on the back of your leg to get off the carpet.
34:15I had such hatred over this piece of carpet,
34:18it was quite extraordinary,
34:19but it was always fluffed.
34:21Wow.
34:22That's her job.
34:23I mean, I think she was chairs as well,
34:25so the chairs...
34:27But it appeared a lot of carpet fluffing.
34:30We all know what a fluffer is traditionally.
34:32If you get hired as a fluffer and then you realise
34:35you've only got to do the carpet,
34:36she'd be made up.
34:37LAUGHTER
34:38We're not explaining, Malala.
34:40LAUGHTER
34:41Do you know what a fluffer is?
34:42No, just leave it!
34:43LAUGHTER
34:44Oh, OK.
34:45Remember the star sign said it was going to go well?
34:46Yeah.
34:47Leave it.
34:48OK.
34:49I think the Gemini's being too chatty.
34:51Exactly, exactly.
34:52Just a quick reminder,
34:53AV's latest show, Daddy Issues,
34:55kicks off on the BBC next month!
34:56OK.
34:57APPLAUSE
34:58We turned to Christopher Coulson.
35:15His autobiography is called Keep Laughing.
35:18It is also out now.
35:20And I'm struck...
35:21You are a young man, Chris.
35:22know you are a young man Chris so a life story a memoir why did you decide to do
35:27it now I mean penguin asked me if I wanted to do it towards the end of last
35:31year and then they a stroke of genius on there but they put it on sale on a
35:36pre-order before I'd started writing anything of it
35:40there isn't I mean I'm a procrastinator at the best of times there is nothing
35:44like a book being on sale that doesn't exist to make you write a book
35:49yeah that would motivate you oh you know I'm 48 and like you can write a book
35:54at any it depends what it's about doesn't it but you know there's kind of three
35:58parts to it really I suppose and and you know losing me sight for 25 years
36:04becoming a comedian and getting to do telly and then obviously strictly really
36:09which felt like a really kind of positive good ends for that kind of part of the
36:15story and I heard you talking and you thought that writing that first 25 years
36:20was gonna be the difficult bit describing your your your sight getting worse yeah
36:24well I mean talking about like being a kid and losing me sight and stuff and I was
36:29like who's wanna read this this is and also I'm a bloke from Liverpool who grew up in
36:33Liverpool in the 80s I'm quite close I dig a hole I bury things in and I I put a
36:37front on for people to see you know and and once you've kind of cried on the telly in
36:42front of 10 million people you feel a lot more open about and so I I thought
36:48that would be the hardest bit to write because I know what I'm like and and but
36:52it actually ended up being like the most what I thought was the most kind of
36:56interesting and an original part and then when you get to the stuff about
37:00being a comedian which I thought would be the stuff that was easiest because it's
37:04what I do and it's what I love and you can be really funny about being a
37:08comedian and stuff you kind of get to that bit you go this is the bit every
37:11comedians got in their book so this is actually it's harder to make this bit
37:15from an original perspective if you know what I mean yeah to the whole first
37:20bit which is really just you know my own story that no one else has really well as
37:25you say the book has a fabulous conclusion with your your triumph on
37:28Strictly and certainly that is something you are justifiably really proud of
37:33aren't you yeah I mean it's it's mad you know it wasn't on my radar and I knew
37:38nothing about it and it was but it's the most proud of anything I've ever been you
37:42know and it's everything I've ever done in comedy apart from that very first gig
37:47which was a dare to give it a go but everything else has been incremental it's
37:51always you know last time I was on Graham I was talking about making a
37:55Christmas film with Lee I'd never done it with Lee Mack I'd never done a film
37:58before but it's still within my wheelhouse it's expanding your comedy
38:03chops you know and yeah and and doing something that's very much within but
38:07your job and your skill set is whereas this was so far out my comfort zone it
38:11was such an unknown and it was so intensive and consuming and terrifying the
38:17most terrifying thing I've ever done in my life and and for us to kind of
38:20maintain it for four months and and pretty connect with people the way that it
38:24did it's it honestly I couldn't I couldn't be prouder of it you know so
38:28yeah
38:34very quickly because there's a story you tell you used to do material about your
38:39daughter how old was you when this happened was you two or something so the
38:42first kind of break I had on mainstream telly was live at the Apollo and I had
38:47this bit of material about my daughter being a baby and they're doing a poo in the
38:50bath and and she she kind of noticed it floating past her and she she handed it
38:57to me and asked me what he said what's that daddy and I had to sniff it to find
39:02out
39:04and the joke was kind of I kind of I I told the story but I kind of put myself
39:10into her head as if she knew what she was doing like you know the same to a
39:14little toy penguin watch this mr. penguin I'm gonna ask him ask him with it's
39:17ice cream or whatever it's the only bit of my stand-up my daughter saw like for
39:22years of mine when she was older and she thought that's all I did for a living
39:27she just thought I went out and I told rooms for the people that she shit in the
39:30bath and when she kind of she learned that like obviously I went out and that's
39:37how I am money and I paid for like you know food and everything and and all
39:41because I went out and I told this story and she was like god thank god I did that shit in the
39:46bath and we'd have nothing she said to me and she must have been about 10 at this
39:52point and she said to me I said I was going out to do a gig in London and she
39:57said can I come daddy I said no she went can I come when you're 18 yeah and she
40:01said and you can be on stage and you can tell everybody that I did a poo in the
40:05bath and then at the end I can come on and go hey everybody it was me
40:11I said you're not going to feel like that when you're 18 yeah
40:16very good okay it's time for music this Grammy winning British band has had three number one
40:26albums and headlined Glastonbury and are joined tonight by an Irish superstar
40:30collaborating for the first time on their new single rubber band man it is Mumford and
40:35sounds with hosier
40:45when you can't win for losing and the beggars start choosing the chaos in your head calls the cracks to
41:01start showing all knowing all blowing with the light of the dying to raise the dead
41:13oh you're a world away but you're still the same I know you by your heart and I will call you by your name and it's a long way from the crap to the brain
41:29from the crap to the brain you know that I remember everything
41:36steady yourself in your tumbleweed words be a street corner preacher or just feed the birds but don't hold to yourself
41:56what heart more turn stone be a rubber band man make the water your bones
42:03dying just to live now
42:11you're a world away but you're still the same I know you by your heart and I will call you by your name and it's a long way from the crap to the brain you know that I remember everything and I said forever you said get back in the car nothing lasts forever babe you know it breaks my heart
42:18and I'll call you anything
42:25that you like
42:32and I am free and I'm able
42:39to call you the second
42:40that you die
42:46that you die
42:47that you die
42:48just to live now
42:49you're a world away
42:52just to live now
42:56you're a world away
42:58And I'm able to call you the second
43:04That you died just to live
43:13You're a world away
43:18But you're still the same
43:21I know you by your heart
43:23And I will call you by your name
43:25And it's a long way
43:28From the crack to the break
43:31You know that I remember everything
43:35And I said forever
43:37You should get back in the car
43:40Nothing lasts forever, baby
43:42No, it breaks my heart
43:44You're a world away
43:46But you're still the same
43:50You know that I remember everything
43:55A new ink on your skin
44:00Red lips in the dark
44:03Nothing lasts forever, babe
44:05You know it breaks my heart
44:07Put a shiver on your skin
44:09Do your hair in the car
44:12If nothing lasts forever, babe
44:14Then can we make a start?
44:16Oh!
44:20Wowza!
44:21Not going to tag with Hosier
44:23Beautiful job
44:26I think Marcus and Hosier are coming over to see us
44:29Come on over, there you go
44:32Hi Marcus, it's really nice to see you again
44:37That's Chris McCrosley
44:39Oh, I know, Hosier can be
44:42Amy LeWood, Malala, Kira
44:45That's Marcus and Hosier
44:48There you go
44:50Have a seat, too
44:52Have a seat, too
44:53There you go
44:54Lovely, thank you so much for that performance
44:57What a gorgeous, gorgeous thing
44:59And star signs
45:01Star signs
45:03And Pisces
45:05Oh, yes
45:05Yes, I thought so
45:07Really, my boyfriend thought you were a Pisces
45:10Okay
45:10What does that mean?
45:12He's going to sing a song
45:13Oh, yeah, they are the dreamers
45:17Oh, okay
45:18They're the dreamers
45:19Marcus, what are you?
45:20Aquarius
45:21Same
45:22What does that mean?
45:23Weird
45:23Cool
45:24It's really worked out so far
45:28Yeah
45:28Now, I have to say
45:30That rubber band man
45:31Is off this just announced album
45:34A prize fighter
45:35I haven't seen that yet
45:36That looks wicked
45:37Yeah, that's how new it is
45:38Yeah
45:38So, how did it happen?
45:41How did the two of you get together
45:42The band and you get together?
45:44Yeah
45:44It was our first collaboration on record
45:46We've known each other for a long time
45:48We've collaborated live a number of times
45:50Oh
45:51Friends for a long time
45:52And then we sent Andrew a bunch of demos
45:55For this new record we were working on
45:58Yeah
45:58And you listened
45:59And gave some nights
46:01No
46:02I sent the entire album, in fact
46:04Which was like
46:04I think that's so rare when you do a collab like this
46:07And to be given the whole body of work
46:10And I think you just said
46:11Just listen through
46:11And if there's something that connects
46:12That you connect with as well
46:14If there's a song that you love
46:15And so it was a real treat
46:16I got to listen through
46:17And why this song?
46:18I just love the
46:19I think the lyrics are stunning
46:21I didn't even know where the
46:23Oh, yeah
46:24So this is
46:25There's a weird story behind the lyrics
46:26Tell us
46:27It's very Aquarius, actually
46:28Oh, yeah
46:29I think I get that
46:31I guess
46:31Brandy Carlisle
46:34Who's a mutual friend of ours
46:35Love Brandy Carlisle
46:36Who we love
46:36I think she had a dream about me
46:39In a non-weird way
46:41And wrote me a text message
46:45With a bunch of lyrics
46:46Which became the verse
46:48For Rubber Band Man
46:49She's like
46:50She's like a sister
46:51To many of us
46:52And sort of like a soothsayer as well
46:55And she had these words
46:56That she felt were for me
46:58And it was the verse lyrics
47:00For Rubber Band Man
47:00So I turned it into a song
47:01Wow
47:02Yeah
47:03And a very nice time for a host
47:04Because you've just finished
47:06A very long tour
47:07Yes
47:08Yeah
47:08I've been out of a suitcase
47:09Just about three years
47:10Maybe just over three years
47:11Yeah
47:12So
47:12So I'm winding down
47:14And the guys are getting ready
47:15For a hurry
47:16It's very sweet of him
47:17To be up for this
47:18Yeah
47:18But no
47:19It's a nice
47:19It's like
47:20It's supposed to be on your holidays
47:21Delighted
47:21It's not just a nice little thing to do
47:23And as you say
47:23Mark
47:24You're touring this year
47:25And it goes right into next year
47:26Yeah
47:26It's no three-year tour though
47:28Is it
47:28Well
47:28Not yet
47:30Yeah
47:31Oh yeah
47:32You're getting there
47:33Listen
47:33We've loved having you on the show
47:35Thank you so much
47:36For that performance
47:37And good luck with the collaboration
47:38And the new album
47:39Very good
47:40Right
47:44That is nearly it
47:46Before we go
47:47It's just time for a quick visit
47:48To the big red chair
47:50Who do we have
47:51Hello
47:51Hello
47:52Hi
47:53What's your name
47:53I'm Jennifer
47:54Jennifer
47:55Lovely
47:55Where are you from Jennifer
47:56Central New York State
47:57Okay
47:58Central New York State
47:59Very specific
48:00I like it
48:01If I do on a map
48:02And do you live there still
48:03Or live here
48:04No
48:04No I live there
48:05Oh right
48:06So you're just on holiday
48:07Yeah
48:07Yeah we just arrived this morning
48:09Oh my goodness
48:10Wow
48:11How long are you staying for
48:11A week
48:12Okay
48:13Touring around
48:14Or just in London
48:15No we're going to tour around
48:16A little bit
48:17Okay
48:17Now where are you heading
48:18From here we're going to head up
48:19To the Cotswolds for a few days
48:21What a lovely idea
48:22Off you go with your story
48:27Okay
48:28Okay so I'm a veterinarian
48:30And one day this guy brings his dog in to see me
48:34Because he's been vomiting
48:35The dog's been vomiting
48:36And I do some diagnostics
48:37And I ascertain that this dog has something
48:39Stuck in his small intestine and needs surgery
48:41So I take the dog to surgery
48:43Remove what it is that's blocking him
48:46And the next day I'm getting the dog ready to go home
48:49The wife comes in to pick him up
48:51And I give the dog
48:53The owner what I took out of the dog's intestines
48:56Which was a pair of women's panties
48:58And they're not minivan panties
49:01They are Lamborghini panties
49:03And so I give her these panties in the plastic bag
49:07And I said this is what you paid for essentially
49:10And she looked at them and she said
49:12These aren't my underwear
49:13Oh
49:14Great story
49:17There you go you can walk
49:19I'm not even done I can walk
49:21Oh is there more to this?
49:22Oh there's more
49:23Oh let's go with them more yes
49:25So it's me the dog and this homicidal woman
49:28And I look at the dog and I'm thinking
49:31Buddy I don't know who's going to get you in the divorce
49:34But you ain't no man's best friend right now
49:38You can walk you can walk
49:40Go go go go walk
49:40Yes very good
49:41Lovely
49:43And that's really all we've got time for
49:46You have to go in the red show yourself
49:48I tell you a story you can contact us via our website
49:50At this very address
49:51And please say a huge thank you to all of our guests
49:52Mumford is hunting hosier
49:54Chris McCausland
49:58Amy Le Wood
50:01I'll see you next week with pop super star Ed Sheeran
50:13Comedian Jack Whitehall
50:14Salt burn star Rosamund Pike
50:16And Hollywood leading man Glenn Powell
50:18I'll see you then
50:19Good night everybody
50:19Bye bye
50:20Thank you so much for the rest of the night
50:22Thank you so much for the rest of the night
50:23And we'll see you next week with pop super star Ed Sheeran
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