- il y a 17 heures
- #marriedatfirstsightuk
- #realitytv
- #relationships
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Married at First Sight UK is a popular reality series where relationship experts pair single individuals who then meet for the first time at the altar. This episode, S10E11, continues to follow the dramatic journeys of the newlywed couples as they navigate the complexities of their arranged marriages. Expect to see emotional highs, challenging lows, and pivotal moments as they decide whether to commit or walk away.
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#MarriedAtFirstSightUK #RealityTV #Relationships #FullEpisode
married-at-first-sight-uk mafs-uk reality-tv marriage relationships dating couples commitment
#MarriedAtFirstSightUK #RealityTV #Relationships #FullEpisode
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TVTranscription
00:00:00On a scale of 1 to 10, how strong are your feelings?
00:00:05Previously...
00:00:069.1
00:00:07While the dinner party brought some couples closer...
00:00:12Why are you just the best human?
00:00:14Others grew further apart.
00:00:16I don't think I can stay. What am I doing here?
00:00:18I'm at a point of my life now. I need to know you want the same thing.
00:00:22I haven't got time to waste.
00:00:24And Nelly and Stephen's marriage...
00:00:26You got like two weeks before you came here.
00:00:28Right.
00:00:29...was rocked by rumours in the group.
00:00:31Who has decided to say I was talking about my sexual activity?
00:00:33You did? We were all there.
00:00:35People are starting to me off. That, that, that, that, that.
00:00:42Wow. Did he just say this?
00:00:46Tonight...
00:00:47I'll get bored saying the same thing over and over again.
00:00:49You keep saying that.
00:00:50Don't antagonise me then.
00:00:51Don't raise your voice at me.
00:00:52Nelly and Stephen continue to clash.
00:00:54Idiot.
00:00:55Why am I liking someone who's treating me like this?
00:00:57Ahead of a tense...
00:00:57We have hit an issue this week.
00:01:00If this is the way it is, I can't do this forever.
00:01:04...and emotional commitment ceremony.
00:01:06My mindset really hasn't shifted that much.
00:01:09Sorry, I've just got to jump in.
00:01:11It's time to actually take responsibility.
00:01:14This week has been awful.
00:01:15It's been hell.
00:01:16I don't know who you are.
00:01:28Oh, I feel, like, weird.
00:01:31Oh, they're soggy little tuggies.
00:01:36Make me pretty.
00:01:37Paint me like one of your French girls.
00:01:38Yes, I am.
00:01:42It's the morning after an eventful dinner party.
00:01:45Here's your brew, love.
00:01:46Here you go.
00:01:49So, last night...
00:01:51You know, something was going to kick off.
00:01:53I could feel it in me bones.
00:01:54Just when you hear Chinese whispers all the time, man,
00:01:57it's all going to come out in the end.
00:01:58Do you know what I mean?
00:01:59Yeah.
00:01:59I'm not sorry for Nelly.
00:02:00To be fair, I didn't expect Stephen to sort of lose his rag.
00:02:04To me, what that proved last night, though,
00:02:06those two were so different, like, emotionally.
00:02:08Yeah.
00:02:11Didn't expect the whole night
00:02:13to be so focused on Nelly and Stephen.
00:02:16I feel like it just kind of spiralled, didn't it?
00:02:18And then, when all that kicked off,
00:02:20and Devani's wife, he's having an argument with Stephen...
00:02:23And Devani's just chilling next to me, just like...
00:02:25It was...the whole thing was awkward.
00:02:27If he'd just stood up, I feel like that would have meant the world.
00:02:29Mm.
00:02:30Oh, how are you feeling about last night?
00:02:36It was intense.
00:02:37Mm-hm.
00:02:38Therefore.
00:02:39What I was talking about, my sexual activity...
00:02:41Yeah, you did.
00:02:42No, I was not.
00:02:43At last night's dinner party,
00:02:45Julia Ruth felt let down by her husband's actions.
00:02:48Devani, Maeve, you were there, so what is it?
00:02:50Huh?
00:02:51Devani, don't leave me hanging.
00:02:53No, seriously.
00:02:55I don't need anyone to, like, fight my battles.
00:02:57I can do that.
00:02:58But I think if I'm calling your name,
00:03:00I need you to step up and...and be there.
00:03:02Yeah.
00:03:03Yeah.
00:03:03This is what it is.
00:03:04I knew I should have had your back at that moment in time,
00:03:09and I take a full accountability for it.
00:03:11It's just that he was yelling across the room,
00:03:13and I just felt like no one was defending Nelly.
00:03:15And, yeah, I was looking for confirmation from me.
00:03:18You're my husband.
00:03:20It was wrong for me not stepping up and obviously being there for you.
00:03:24It did feel bad.
00:03:26Going forward, 100%, I'm going to be there for any confrontation that takes place.
00:03:29He said what he said, he's apologised, but there's no, like, place to hide with the commitment ceremonies.
00:03:36And I think sometimes he likes to preach a big game, but then the actions don't match.
00:03:40Today's decision is very important, but I feel like it reflects the week that Devani and I have had together.
00:03:45It was a bit of a crazy one last night, wasn't it?
00:03:53It was, wasn't it? I know.
00:03:56Last night's dinner party, for me, I could sense that there was an awkward energy in the room.
00:04:02Dean and I had our first argument.
00:04:04I'd made a comment that Dean didn't like, so I am very nervous for the commitment ceremony.
00:04:08I obviously didn't have a great time last week, so I really just want to have a clean slate and just move on and not be in the firing line, you know?
00:04:20I have been making more of an effort.
00:04:22I did throw myself into the intimacy workshop.
00:04:24I have been trying.
00:04:25I'm not just sort of, like, shying away from anything, do you know what I mean?
00:04:29You are genuinely such a lovely person.
00:04:31You have got a heart of gold, but I just think people don't understand.
00:04:34They haven't seen that side of you yet.
00:04:35You know, obviously we had that blip, that argument,
00:04:37but we've dealt with that.
00:04:40No, it'll be, it'll be, it'll be fine.
00:04:42You won't get shouted at tonight.
00:04:49Walking into the dinner party, I was slightly disappointed.
00:04:53Thought we would perhaps come together.
00:04:55Why didn't you want to come to the dinner party with me?
00:05:00That was me kind of taking a step back.
00:05:02Judge me after six, eight, ten weeks.
00:05:05Don't judge me after two weeks.
00:05:06I'm at a point of my life now where I need to know where I stand.
00:05:10I need to know you want the same thing.
00:05:13Time's precious.
00:05:19Anita and I have lots of positives.
00:05:21The most important ones we have are the values.
00:05:24Manners, respect, understanding, compassion.
00:05:28For me, that's a great foundation stone.
00:05:29I'm hoping that that can be built on.
00:05:34My only regret off yesterday was not actually arriving at the dinner party with Paul.
00:05:39I didn't want to give them the wrong impression.
00:05:41I do adore Paul.
00:05:45He's a gentleman.
00:05:46He pulls the chairs out.
00:05:48He puts the chair in.
00:05:49He's very attentive.
00:05:51But he's never very clear on stuff.
00:05:53Paul will go around the houses and still come back with two answers.
00:05:56I'm really unsure of where I stand.
00:06:00Your decision to go separately was disappointing, yeah.
00:06:03When I look back, I'll think that maybe if I'd just said we'll go together.
00:06:10But I just panicked.
00:06:13We had a good week.
00:06:14Spent time together.
00:06:16And I thought perhaps things were going in the right direction.
00:06:22I can say some of the reasons why they've matched us, but I'm a great believer in time's precious.
00:06:30It's a ten-week experiment.
00:06:32This is week two.
00:06:34I take time, don't I?
00:06:36And I think it's always been abundant that you've wanted to get there quicker.
00:06:40Yeah.
00:06:44Today's a massive decision.
00:06:47All marriages are a work in progress.
00:06:48I've said all along that it takes me time to grow.
00:06:53And perhaps time is something she will give me to find the love and compassion that's inside me.
00:07:03Today's commitment ceremony and my decision is very important.
00:07:07I said I would put 100% into the experiment and try and grow and see where the relationship goes to.
00:07:15I've got lots to think about.
00:07:20Pros and cons of staying, pros and cons of leaving.
00:07:24Deep down I really don't know what to do.
00:07:25I feel good going into today.
00:07:34I would have woke up feeling much better today if I knew I'd had a hot candle wax massage.
00:07:38But, you know, today's a new day.
00:07:42I'm hoping that like after the week we've had this week, we can move forward in a positive way.
00:07:48I was just knackered last night, so we will do that this week.
00:07:52Everyone's going to ask you the question, did you give me massage?
00:07:56It definitely hasn't been the smoothest week for Lee and I.
00:07:59I think physical intimacy does need to come.
00:08:01It's important.
00:08:02You know, when married, you've got to commit to it.
00:08:04You've got to do your homework, Lee.
00:08:06At the end of the day, that whole situation with Rebecca is well and truly put to bed.
00:08:10I think we're definitely on the same page now.
00:08:12Yeah.
00:08:13I hope so.
00:08:14I've got feelings attached to this Rebecca situation.
00:08:18At the commitment ceremony, I'm hoping to just speak about what certain feelings might mean
00:08:22or where they're coming from and just get some advice on how we can move forward.
00:08:27Maybe less pressure on the intimacy because I'm tired of hearing about it.
00:08:31I'm going to get asked loads of questions about 9.5 bae.
00:08:40Oh, my God.
00:08:419.5.
00:08:42Oh, you don't like that?
00:08:43I just didn't think you would declare your love for me in that way.
00:08:46Declare your love?
00:08:47Jesus.
00:08:48I'm looking forward to it.
00:08:49I can't wait for tonight.
00:08:50Yeah, me too.
00:08:50I'm excited.
00:08:51I'm excited.
00:08:58I'm a bit anxious about the commitment ceremony.
00:09:01Don't speak with Ash.
00:09:01He's been up and down.
00:09:03He thinks I pick up on too much and I think he's oblivious to a lot of the things he says
00:09:07and how they come across.
00:09:09I'm not looking forward to the kind of things that me and Ash have to share with the experts.
00:09:14What is it you are particularly scared of sharing with the experts today?
00:09:18Yeah, it's intimacy based, yeah.
00:09:20That makes me anxious because I'm private.
00:09:22I don't like the idea of having a very personal conversation quite publicly, but I will have to
00:09:28on this occasion.
00:09:28I think it's good that we're starting to speak.
00:09:32We've got as far as we can take it and we do want help.
00:09:35I think it's going to help.
00:09:36It's going to make it better.
00:09:38Aye, aye, aye.
00:09:40I think this is going to be a really big commitment ceremony for Grace and I.
00:09:43She's been at me to not speak about the intimacy side, but I think we've hit a stage now where
00:09:49I don't feel like we're moving forward.
00:09:50So I'm going to open up today with the experts.
00:09:53Last night's dinner party was very intense.
00:10:06Other people getting involved in Lily and I's relationship is something I always wanted to
00:10:10avoid.
00:10:11But I think for me, going into the commitment ceremony today, I'm a little bit up in the air.
00:10:15Maybe when the pen hits the paper, I'll actually make a decision then.
00:10:20This week, there's been way more downs than there have been ups.
00:10:24I broke my rib and Stephen stayed out until the very end of the night and I was the last
00:10:27one to come home.
00:10:28Even though he said he's got making up to do and he's going to really work on that this
00:10:31week, I still fear that he doesn't understand why I feel the way I do.
00:10:36And it makes me feel really neglected.
00:10:41Where'd I start?
00:10:46You were discussing your previous history on the day that you should have been at home
00:10:51with me.
00:10:51When they started bringing up my dating history and who I may or may not have slept with
00:10:55before the experiment started is totally irrelevant to this.
00:10:58It's adding more fuel to the fire.
00:10:59But I think it's just, why is he talking about that when he should be checking in on
00:11:05me?
00:11:05Why is that even relevant?
00:11:07The girls have sat you down and said, oh, this is going around about Stephen, but it's
00:11:11like, back off.
00:11:12That doesn't, I don't think this conversation is going anywhere.
00:11:16There's no shit that's going around in circles.
00:11:19Fuck me.
00:11:20Don't get mad at me.
00:11:21Who am I getting mad at you?
00:11:22I think it's going around in circles.
00:11:24I'll get bored of saying the same thing over and over again.
00:11:26But you keep saying that.
00:11:27Because I have to fucking say it.
00:11:28Don't raise your voice at me.
00:11:31Don't fucking antagonise me then, Nelly.
00:11:32Simple as that.
00:11:33You're not a child.
00:11:33You can handle your own emotions.
00:11:34Yeah, I can handle my own emotions.
00:11:36So don't shout at me.
00:11:37Don't fucking antagonise me, Nelly.
00:11:39You're not a child.
00:11:40Don't fucking call me.
00:11:41Don't say I'm not a child as well.
00:11:42Don't tell me not to antagonise you.
00:11:44I'm not antagonising you.
00:11:45Let's just not talk.
00:11:46I'm not antagonising anyone.
00:11:47I'm saying don't speak to me that way.
00:11:49Let's just not talk.
00:11:49Don't speak to me that way.
00:11:50Okay.
00:11:50Let's just not talk.
00:11:51Ah.
00:11:54Fucking idiot.
00:11:55Sorry?
00:11:56I said fucking idiot.
00:11:58That's what I said.
00:12:08Name calling is the nastiest thing ever.
00:12:11Here we go.
00:12:12Don't name call.
00:12:13I think it's disgusting when people name call.
00:12:16Where is your empathy in this?
00:12:18Where are you thinking, you know what, Nelly?
00:12:19Poor girl has had a really rough week.
00:12:22And then you've called me a fucking idiot.
00:12:25I got so rude.
00:12:28That is a line that you...
00:12:29I can't deal with.
00:12:34It sucks.
00:12:35I don't want to be here in this position.
00:12:36I feel like a bit of a clown.
00:12:37I feel like I should just go put some clown makeup on.
00:12:39Why am I liking someone who's treating me like this?
00:12:41I don't think name calling me is making it up to me, hon.
00:12:46It's not.
00:12:48I think it's disgusting.
00:12:50It's something that I'm never going to tolerate.
00:12:51That is the first and last time you will speak to me like that.
00:12:54It's not.
00:12:58I it's not.
00:13:03It's not.
00:13:34Welcome to the second commitment ceremony.
00:13:38We know this week has brought some of you closer and posed new challenges for others.
00:13:44Please put your trust in us and bring your true thoughts and feelings to the couch.
00:13:50Let's get started.
00:13:54First up to the couch, Maeve and Joe.
00:14:04All right.
00:14:05Hiya.
00:14:06Hello.
00:14:08This is very natural body language right here.
00:14:11Yes, put you two together.
00:14:12And also, you know there's coordination going on.
00:14:14It's a vibe.
00:14:14It's my idea as well.
00:14:15Yeah, it actually is.
00:14:16It makes us a team as well, doesn't it?
00:14:18Everyone knows we're together.
00:14:19So you're a team?
00:14:20Yeah, of course we're all.
00:14:21Yeah, 100%.
00:14:22I love it.
00:14:24This week, I came to your apartment.
00:14:27Yeah, you did.
00:14:28So this was ultimately about building self-worth.
00:14:32And it was changing the script in your mind, Maeve, around not believing when someone tells you something positive.
00:14:41Yeah.
00:14:42I actually don't know how to feel.
00:14:44I get the compliment.
00:14:45Obviously, it's nice to hear, but, like, I actually don't know what to do after.
00:14:50Do you remember what I asked you to say in the exercise?
00:14:58Joe could even help you out.
00:15:00I believe it.
00:15:01I receive it.
00:15:02And I thank you.
00:15:04That's it.
00:15:05Yeah.
00:15:05You believe it.
00:15:07And you're appreciative that the compliment came.
00:15:10And the more that you do this, I promise you, you will rewrite the script.
00:15:14And it may take some time.
00:15:16Yeah.
00:15:16Because that negative script has been ingrained in you for so long.
00:15:21Like, I'm actually starting to, like, believe what he's saying.
00:15:25He said, obviously, that I make you feel more comfortable in social situations.
00:15:30But then, obviously, like, I believe that because how we opened up, like, yesterday at the dinner party.
00:15:35Like, that was a massive thing for you to do.
00:15:37Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:15:37I was, like, so proud of him.
00:15:39And I think, like, I don't want to speak on behalf of everyone.
00:15:41But I do think everyone else is so proud of him for doing it.
00:15:43Yeah, yeah.
00:15:44Yeah, you say that?
00:15:45Yay!
00:15:46But this is why I feel the way I do about you.
00:15:49Because you're just so, you have my back so much.
00:15:52And just, that's why I feel so strongly about you.
00:15:55Because she's such a great person.
00:15:57It's okay.
00:15:57I've just found, like...
00:16:07Oh, God, why am I crying?
00:16:09It's okay.
00:16:09Do you know what it takes for me?
00:16:12I've just found the whole thing quite overwhelming.
00:16:18Just the whole process.
00:16:19That's where she's just been such a solid rock for me.
00:16:22She knows what I've been through in the past with, like, the booze and what have you.
00:16:27But she's just been so reliable and so strong for me.
00:16:32She's literally got an art of gold.
00:16:34So it's like, that's why I'm getting emotional.
00:16:36Because I've never actually met someone that's so selfless in a relationship.
00:16:43We just know we're there for each other when we need it.
00:16:46But my sort of...
00:16:47That's all about, though, isn't it?
00:16:48Yeah.
00:16:48Having each other's back.
00:16:49You've got to.
00:16:49My sort of biggest worry in our relationship, though, is obviously with my past, the drinking
00:16:56and the drugs and stuff like that, she's very much...
00:17:00Likes to party.
00:17:01Yeah, which is absolutely fine, and I do it now and again, but my biggest worry is that
00:17:05I don't want to be, like, the fun sponge.
00:17:07Yeah, but you're not going to be.
00:17:08I don't want to go out.
00:17:10I'm choosing not to go out because I'd rather be with you.
00:17:13Yeah, I think, Jo, it's very important to hear what Maeve is saying.
00:17:16Yeah.
00:17:17What she's telling you is that she prefers to spend time with you because of you.
00:17:24She's giving you a compliment.
00:17:25It's very important for you to receive and believe what she is saying.
00:17:32I've never had calm in me life.
00:17:34There's always been drama constantly, and when I'm with Jo, it's quiet.
00:17:39It is me calm, and that's all I've ever wanted.
00:17:41I know it sounds silly, but I like it.
00:17:44It doesn't sound silly at all.
00:17:45What is better than being able to spend time with someone that you feel safe with,
00:17:52that gives you strength, that is helping you to become a better person?
00:17:56What's better than that?
00:17:58Jeff.
00:17:59I think you're amazing, and I've been in love before,
00:18:07and I've been trying to find love again,
00:18:13and I genuinely think I have fallen in love with you.
00:18:16I'm getting the hot flush.
00:18:26100%.
00:18:27So there you go.
00:18:29I can't tell you how much you actually mean.
00:18:38I mean, I just honestly, like, I've never met anyone like it.
00:18:43Ever.
00:18:44And no, I'm not, do you know what it is?
00:18:45Yeah, I do love you too.
00:18:47I think we should just get right to a decision, all right?
00:19:06Yeah, this is a pretty obvious answer.
00:19:10You know the way I feel about you.
00:19:13I do love you.
00:19:15Oh.
00:19:15And I honestly can't wait to see what the rest of this process
00:19:19and hopefully beyond has in store for us.
00:19:22So it's stay.
00:19:25Oh!
00:19:29Maeve.
00:19:30I just honestly want to say, like, thank you for everything.
00:19:33Each day I'm learning something new about myself.
00:19:36And honestly, like, I can't tell you how much I actually appreciate it.
00:19:42So, I'm staying.
00:19:43LAUGHTER
00:19:44We've seen incredible growth between the two of you.
00:19:53We're so incredibly proud of you.
00:19:55Thank you so much.
00:19:56Well done, you guys.
00:19:58APPLAUSE
00:19:59Aw, you're a nerd.
00:20:06I know, what the fuck?
00:20:09LAUGHTER
00:20:09Next up...
00:20:18Julia Ruth and Devani.
00:20:22APPLAUSE
00:20:23Hello, you two.
00:20:28Welcome.
00:20:28Welcome.
00:20:28All right.
00:20:32How are you both feeling?
00:20:34Feeling good?
00:20:34Yeah.
00:20:35Yeah?
00:20:36Yeah.
00:20:37Now, I know you had the values ranking experience this week.
00:20:42Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:20:42So, why don't you help us understand what happened there?
00:20:45Erm...
00:20:46Should I go first, or...?
00:20:47Yeah, go for it.
00:20:48Obviously, the values was quite different.
00:20:50So, for me, I put children first.
00:20:53And then I put sex eight, and then I put looks nine.
00:20:56So, we did differ in those three categories.
00:21:00The children part made sense for us.
00:21:02So, in terms of, Devani, your kid is everything.
00:21:04Of course, that made much sense.
00:21:05But I think the bulk of it, which was concerning, or a challenge for us, was that you were saying
00:21:10work, occupation, money was something you valued way more than, like, sex and looks.
00:21:19I just was confused as to why it was that low.
00:21:22I didn't believe it 100%, if I'm honest.
00:21:25What do you say to that, Devani?
00:21:26When I went into this challenge, 100%, I did it all authentically, and that's what...
00:21:32made sense to me.
00:21:34Are we saying here that, as a couple, one of you puts a high priority on attraction and
00:21:41sex, and the other doesn't?
00:21:43Or that you just prioritise them differently?
00:21:48I think just prioritise them differently.
00:21:50Like, what I said after the challenge, it was like, it's beautiful that we didn't match
00:21:54in every of the categories.
00:21:56So, even if sex was lower doesn't mean that I don't prioritise that, do you know what I mean?
00:22:00I just feel like it's just something that's just going to be a day-by-day situation, but
00:22:04I don't think that the values that was obviously presented was going to be a deal-breaker, and
00:22:08I don't think it will be.
00:22:12So, these activities are really a great starting point for some really good conversation about
00:22:18what are our priorities in life?
00:22:20Where are the similarities and where are the differences?
00:22:22And I guess that's how you now bring that into your relationship.
00:22:25I feel like we've asked each other questions and challenged each other on where we've sat
00:22:30things.
00:22:30I feel like we've been trying our best in terms of that.
00:22:33So, aside from the challenges around differing values, we also saw at the dinner party last
00:22:38night some conflict that you had with Stephen, and your sense that Devani wasn't really there
00:22:44having your back.
00:22:45I mean, she's a tough cookie, and I'll always fight my own battles and that, but I think
00:22:53if I'm saying, Devani, I'm calling your name, and then you don't step up and you're just
00:22:58sitting quietly, it was a bit disappointing to not have your support there because you were
00:23:02there, but nothing, and I just got left to hang out dry by myself.
00:23:08Yeah.
00:23:10I don't ask for help, and I just felt like I was me calling for my husband and you didn't
00:23:14say anything.
00:23:16I don't know, I felt really exposed and vulnerable, just kind of let down.
00:23:20So what stopped you, Devani, from supporting her in that moment?
00:23:24I think I just felt like I didn't want to feel the fire, but generally I would do stand up.
00:23:31But you didn't?
00:23:31No.
00:23:32And it's had an impact on your wife?
00:23:34If you had your time over, what would you do differently?
00:23:40Definitely stand up.
00:23:42And then I'll comfort her to obviously know that I've got her back.
00:23:46Yeah, so just some sort of like acknowledgement or get up and come to me or just something.
00:23:53It's not about getting involved in conflict, it's about giving your wife your support.
00:23:58There are clearly some issues for the two of you around values.
00:24:01There was a sense that perhaps you weren't quite getting to that point of reading each
00:24:05other and listening and maybe understanding what each other was needing.
00:24:09Whether that's the importance of sex or support in an argument, it's about talking and communication.
00:24:16We're going to go to a decision.
00:24:18Devani, we'll start with you today.
00:24:19How is it?
00:24:20Okay.
00:24:21Obviously we had a little hiccup yesterday.
00:24:23Every relationship has to go through conflict.
00:24:25I'm not ready to throw in the towel yet.
00:24:29I'm very excited to build that emotional connection and I know that we will get there.
00:24:33And so my final decision is to stay.
00:24:41Julie Ruth.
00:24:43And I feel like the values task shed a lot of light on our relationship.
00:24:48And I just want to keep having some of those tougher conversations.
00:24:52Hopefully there's no more conflict in future.
00:24:53Thank you guys.
00:25:05Hope you have a great week.
00:25:06Thank you.
00:25:07Thank you.
00:25:08Thank you.
00:25:08Thank you.
00:25:16Next up on the couch, Sarah and Dean.
00:25:21Good to see the two of you.
00:25:29You too as well.
00:25:31So guys, how has your week been?
00:25:33I mean, the intimacy workshop with yourself, we went in with an open mind because that
00:25:38was one of the things that we have been struggling with is the intimacy side.
00:25:41But I have to say since then, we are still taking baby steps, but we've been like holding hands, like cuddling, just taking it slow.
00:25:51I think there's a big pressure build up because we had done nothing.
00:25:54So, you know, it's kind of good to have that work because that just popped that bubble.
00:25:56We're like, oh, it is okay.
00:25:57Like, it's my wife.
00:25:58Of course I can, like, touch her if I want to, you know?
00:26:00It's kind of nice to kind of get that.
00:26:01We did have a bump in the road.
00:26:04Sight argument.
00:26:05Yeah, first argument.
00:26:06What are we referring to?
00:26:08Um, we all went for drinks.
00:26:11Kind of come back to our apartments.
00:26:14There was a producer there as well.
00:26:16And then there was a, like, comment made.
00:26:18Yeah, it was a silly comment that I made.
00:26:20And he isn't into women, so it's not as if it was then.
00:26:23Do you know, it was silly.
00:26:24And what was the comment, Sarah?
00:26:26That I found him attractive, basically.
00:26:28That you found the producer attractive?
00:26:30Yeah.
00:26:30Okay, and was that said in the presence of Dean?
00:26:33In front of Dean, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:26:34It was just a comment that I made.
00:26:35It was kind of...
00:26:36Just joking, banter, yeah.
00:26:38And then we'd gone upstairs and Dean had sort of said, you know,
00:26:42yeah, you weren't happy and I get it.
00:26:45When I heard her say that, I was like,
00:26:47damn, is she ever going to say that about me?
00:26:49And it kind of just triggered something to me, yeah.
00:26:51I was like, I don't think I can do this
00:26:52because I don't know if you're ever going to feel that way.
00:26:56It was like, Jesus, like, what am I doing here?
00:26:58Like, I just want to hear that said to me, you know, from my wife.
00:27:03It has made us stronger, though, do you not think?
00:27:08Kind of has, because it was our first argument.
00:27:12I think what you have to be careful of is
00:27:14to not take the blame for something that someone else has done.
00:27:19Yeah, yeah, no, definitely, I've said that.
00:27:21Don't forget or diminish your feelings in all this.
00:27:24It's OK to feel hurt and express that.
00:27:26Just say, tell me, say.
00:27:28Don't pretend that you're OK all the time.
00:27:30I'd rather you said.
00:27:31Do you know what I mean?
00:27:32Yeah.
00:27:33I think what we'd all rather hear, Sarah, to be totally honest,
00:27:36is that you stop doing it.
00:27:37Yeah, I will.
00:27:38Yeah, absolutely.
00:27:39OK?
00:27:40Mm-hmm.
00:27:40You know, you've said something disrespectful, you've apologised.
00:27:43You've said something disrespectful, you've apologised.
00:27:47It's time to actually take responsibility.
00:27:49Yeah, 100%.
00:27:50Yeah.
00:27:50And to not just say you've got the hots for some guy.
00:27:54You know, that's very immature, sort of, 15-year-old behaviour.
00:27:58You're an adult and you're in a serious relationship here.
00:28:01There's a lot at stake.
00:28:02It's time to actually take responsibility.
00:28:21Yeah, 100%.
00:28:21Yeah.
00:28:22And to not just say you've got the hots for some guy.
00:28:26You know, that's very immature, sort of, 15-year-old behaviour.
00:28:30You're an adult and you're in a serious relationship here.
00:28:33There's a lot at stake.
00:28:38I completely agree and I take full responsibility and put my hands up.
00:28:42And I am so sorry, I really am.
00:28:44I just need to know why I am behaving like this because before coming here I was this ball of sunshine
00:28:51and I just feel like since I've come here I've sort of lost that and I don't know why.
00:28:55Because I'm not a disrespectful person and I don't like the way that I'm behaving, I don't.
00:29:01What we're saying is just be a bit more mindful.
00:29:05You know, you are in a relationship.
00:29:07I know.
00:29:07And I wonder if part of the reason you're able to say some of these things is maybe, Dean,
00:29:14because you're not putting those boundaries in place to say this isn't acceptable behaviour.
00:29:19It's about for you, Dean, to say these are my boundaries, I will not tolerate this.
00:29:24and for you, Sarah, to actually do it.
00:29:27Yeah.
00:29:27He needs to see that.
00:29:29Yeah.
00:29:31Let's go to the decisions.
00:29:33Dean?
00:29:33We have improved, but then I did have that fear of if we're going nowhere, why would I stay?
00:29:41Am I going to leave?
00:29:42Am I going to run?
00:29:43I'm here to find out about me as well as find out about us.
00:29:47So I think I get to myself as well as us as a couple to keep pushing forward.
00:29:51So I've decided to stay.
00:29:57Thank you.
00:30:00And Sarah, what's your decision?
00:30:01Yeah, I think the absolute world of you, I think you're an absolute gem.
00:30:05I apologise again for my actions and behaviour.
00:30:09I am learning so much about myself.
00:30:11This obviously is a really intense process.
00:30:14And I'm going to give this week my everything.
00:30:16And I want to continue to see how it goes.
00:30:19And so I am also going to stay.
00:30:25What I'd really like you guys to take from this, Sarah,
00:30:28I think just be a bit more mindful about what you're saying.
00:30:31And Dean, it's okay to say, this is how I want you to treat me and this is not acceptable.
00:30:36And I think it's important for you to kind of practice that.
00:30:39I know it's something I need to work on.
00:30:40Yeah.
00:30:41Thanks, guys.
00:30:42See you guys.
00:30:43See you guys.
00:30:43See you guys.
00:30:44Thank you.
00:30:44Thank you.
00:30:52Next up.
00:30:55Kia and Daveed.
00:30:56So, now, of us, aren't you?
00:31:02You're even walking in unison.
00:31:05This is a good sign, right?
00:31:07Yeah, definitely.
00:31:08Fabulous.
00:31:08We're really good.
00:31:09Yeah.
00:31:10So, tell me, how was expert week for you?
00:31:12You had the challenge of ask me anything.
00:31:15It was good.
00:31:15I think it was questions that we don't ask each other every day.
00:31:18I think the things he said, they were very positive
00:31:21because there were things that I would like to change about myself as well.
00:31:24What are some of those things?
00:31:26How much you get in your head.
00:31:28Yep.
00:31:29Your confidence on your own appearance.
00:31:31Like, if you can see yourself through my eyes.
00:31:34Yeah.
00:31:36Because I don't see myself as other people see me.
00:31:39I still see myself as the person that was disregarded or wasn't good enough.
00:31:46but he makes me feel good and wanted and enough.
00:31:53He does that for me very well.
00:31:54One thing that I see the two of you do amazingly is hold eye contact.
00:31:58Yeah, because it's my anchor and I always tell him,
00:32:01if you feel like you're losing yourself, find me.
00:32:03And we do that, we find each other.
00:32:05Beautiful.
00:32:07I feel like I know the answers to this already,
00:32:09but how has intimacy progressed in your relationship?
00:32:12I don't know what you're talking about.
00:32:13I'm a virgin.
00:32:14We don't touch one another.
00:32:15No.
00:32:16We're not for it.
00:32:17No.
00:32:18Lights out.
00:32:19Dark.
00:32:21We're the blindfold.
00:32:26I am loving this bond.
00:32:28I think this is the right time to go to the decisions.
00:32:32Sure.
00:32:32Kia first.
00:32:34So, every single day with this man is an absolute joy.
00:32:38I honestly feel like I've known him my whole life.
00:32:42It's insane.
00:32:43Like, it's hard to put into words how I actually feel about you,
00:32:45because I've just, I've never felt like this about anyone.
00:32:49So, just thank you for being you, and because of that, my decision is to stay.
00:32:56I haven't felt this safe with anyone, I have no fears with you, anything is just easy, even standing in front of you three.
00:33:15And I just want to keep growing, and as long as you want me, I will choose to stay.
00:33:24I wish you all the best for the rest of the week.
00:33:35Good luck, guys.
00:33:36Well done, you two.
00:33:48Next up, Grace and Ashley.
00:33:52Right away, the first thing that I see is, Ashley, where is your right hand right now?
00:34:10I'm not touching technically.
00:34:10No, but he does, and it's, we're good.
00:34:13We're like, well, yeah, we're warming up to one another.
00:34:15Sometimes.
00:34:16We're good sometimes.
00:34:18It's not really changed.
00:34:19So, you're saying there's been no improvement of physical intimacy?
00:34:22It's just still that judgment of can I, can't I?
00:34:25There's still that doubt.
00:34:26There's no set of rules, so it's extremely hard for me to kind of navigate as to when it is okay or when it isn't okay.
00:34:34I feel differently.
00:34:35I feel like you just do it, and if I'm not feeling it, I just say.
00:34:40That's my interpretation of how it is.
00:34:41But then we are having intimate moments.
00:34:43Like, I can go from that to then not being able to touch you, and it's, it's, it's confusing.
00:34:51I would love to keep it completely private, in-house, lock the door, seal it up between us,
00:34:57but we have hit issues, an issue this week that I know we're not going to never get.
00:35:04gate just between us.
00:35:05I know that we're going to need help with, so we are going to have to speak about intimacy.
00:35:09I didn't want it being displayed and picked over, and, you know, bits of it being gossiped
00:35:14about here, there, and everywhere, but yeah, we, we, yeah, we, we, we, I do need to speak
00:35:19about that.
00:35:20You tell the story, because obviously you feel a bit more thing about it, you, you tell
00:35:23the story of what you want to do, and then if there's anything that I want to add to the
00:35:26end, I can add to show sort of my side of it.
00:35:28Okay.
00:35:28So, earlier in the week, Ash is super generous, we go for a lovely date, Ash picks up the bill,
00:35:37it's so lovely.
00:35:40Somewhere between him being really generous, picking up the bill, and walking home, I developed
00:35:46this anxiety that I have to keep Ash sweet by being affectionate.
00:35:50Grace, help us understand this, can we just clarify, the anxiety of what?
00:35:55It's the expectation, this means that I have to give you sex.
00:35:59Yeah.
00:36:01I just developed this anxiety.
00:36:03We then did another date, we saw a show, we had the most amazing dinner, it was such a
00:36:08good night.
00:36:09Ash, very generously, picks up the tab again.
00:36:11It's just so hard.
00:36:14I don't want to do this.
00:36:15You've got to, you're not going to move forward otherwise.
00:36:17Okay.
00:36:19We had spoken about, like, a contraceptive that we might consider using at some point.
00:36:30I said, maybe we should look, if they have it.
00:36:33We bought a contraceptive.
00:36:36We walked back, I go to bed.
00:36:41Ash, what about me?
00:36:45After the day we've had, you should want to.
00:36:49But that anxiety about the grand gesture and the sort of transactional nature kind of played
00:36:55true.
00:36:58Can I say something?
00:36:59Yeah.
00:37:01We went on this really nice meal, I went to this show, I wasn't thinking about sex or
00:37:04anything, I'm just, I didn't do that to have sex with Grace, I'd done it because it
00:37:08was something nice to do for her.
00:37:09You took me to get contraceptive, I thought the date had gone well, so I'm annoyed at
00:37:15myself for getting frustrated, but couldn't help it.
00:37:19Thank you for your vulnerability in sharing that, Grace, and also you, Ashley.
00:37:26So I want to take this notion of feeling obligated, Grace.
00:37:31What about your experience makes you feel as if a gesture means you having to cross a boundary
00:37:41of yours?
00:37:42I don't know, I'm just cautious.
00:37:44Like, am I always going to be beholden to being affectionate to you?
00:37:47Will it always depend on my affection?
00:37:49Will your mood always depend on that?
00:37:51I constantly feel like you're looking for that bad thing in me.
00:37:56It's like we went out to get a pizza and we were really flirty and touchy and holding
00:38:00hands, cuddling, like little pecs, things like that.
00:38:02We went back to the apartments, put the pizza in, and then I picked Grace up and put her
00:38:07on the counter while I was doing the pizza.
00:38:08and I was kind of between Grace's legs and she was rubbing her nose in my face.
00:38:12Sorry, can you stop?
00:38:13You're actually embarrassing me now.
00:38:15This is embarrassing where it's just going.
00:38:17But she was like rubbing her nose in my face and it was quite intimate.
00:38:19And then I went for a kiss and she went, no, no, I'm not doing it.
00:38:22So it was like, for what felt like an intimate moment for me, was then not right for Grace,
00:38:28which I understand and I'm being respectful of, but I've done a grand gesture and you said
00:38:32it makes you feel uncomfortable.
00:38:33Can't do physical touch because that makes you feel uncomfortable.
00:38:36You keep saying, I can't do physical touch.
00:38:38You do do physical touch.
00:38:40There is so much physical touch and it's insulting when you say, I can't do it.
00:38:44I never get to do it.
00:38:44It's just so confusing.
00:38:45I'm not saying that, Grace.
00:38:46You're putting words in my mouth.
00:38:49Did anyone else hear it?
00:38:51I'm hearing it all the time.
00:39:05You keep saying, I can't do physical touch.
00:39:07You do do physical touch.
00:39:09There is so much physical touch and it's insulting when you say, I can't do it.
00:39:13I never get to do it.
00:39:14It's just so confusing.
00:39:15I'm not saying that, Grace.
00:39:16I'm not saying that, Grace.
00:39:16You're putting words in my mouth.
00:39:18Did anyone else hear it?
00:39:21I'm hearing it all the time.
00:39:23You did just say you can't do it.
00:39:24Yeah.
00:39:25I'm not saying all the time.
00:39:27I can't really do much more to prove to you I'm not the person you're trying to find.
00:39:30Sometimes I feel like what Ash brings to the group is not a reflection of what's really
00:39:35happening.
00:39:36It's like an edited version.
00:39:38With the nails thing, like, I wouldn't have reacted if Ash had said it in a particular
00:39:43way.
00:39:43But in the retelling of it, it's always more favorable to Ash, in my opinion.
00:39:48Can you clarify the nail thing?
00:39:50I'd love to.
00:39:52There was a comment about something I was wearing.
00:39:55You look nice.
00:39:56Haven't you got a dress you can put on?
00:39:57Or put on a dress for me.
00:39:58And I was like, let that go.
00:40:00Like, that's all.
00:40:01Can I say what that was from my side?
00:40:03Well, yeah.
00:40:05Do you mind if I finish?
00:40:06Sorry.
00:40:06Yeah, of course.
00:40:08Then the nails.
00:40:09We're in bed.
00:40:10He sees that my nails have overgrown.
00:40:12He's like, I like these done.
00:40:15Like, keep these up.
00:40:15So I just said, no one tells me how to dress, how to look, how to be.
00:40:21Like, I'll do that.
00:40:23A couple of days later, the same comment, haven't you got a dress you can wear?
00:40:27There was only the one comment with a dress.
00:40:28It was twice.
00:40:29It was not.
00:40:30It was.
00:40:31Okay.
00:40:32It comes up again.
00:40:33And because we'd already had a conversation, I thought we'd settled it with the nails.
00:40:38I said, not this again.
00:40:39And she's like, but don't you want to wear a dress?
00:40:41Like, don't you want?
00:40:42Like, isn't it?
00:40:43Wouldn't you want to do it for me?
00:40:44I understand where that.
00:40:45I've never said that.
00:40:46So you're saying about me making up.
00:40:48Wouldn't you want to wear a dress for me?
00:40:49I would never say that.
00:40:51But I thought that was part of the conversation.
00:40:52Like, why does it bother you?
00:40:54So I booked the dates and I knew where we were going.
00:40:56I knew we were going to a fancy restaurant.
00:40:58It was a surprise for Grace.
00:41:00She put an outfit on.
00:41:01I said, you look amazing.
00:41:02But I know, like, have you got a dress to put on?
00:41:04Because I know where we're going.
00:41:06That was what it was.
00:41:07I'm not telling you what to wear.
00:41:08And the nails thing, it meant, like, do you want to get your nails done as a treat?
00:41:12I'm not telling you what to do.
00:41:15I'm trying really hard.
00:41:16Okay, you're trying.
00:41:17And I give you an A for trying.
00:41:19But I'm going to give you a C for execution.
00:41:21Okay, so now you know it wasn't received well.
00:41:27100%.
00:41:27But you know what your intention was.
00:41:29Yeah.
00:41:30So what we're talking about right now is the difference between impact and intention.
00:41:35So my question is, how can you rephrase that to include your intent?
00:41:42I'm not really sure, to be honest, Paul.
00:41:43I'm, like, thinking about it on the spot now.
00:41:45So start it off for me.
00:41:47I would like to...
00:41:48Treat you to get your nails done.
00:41:49To show that I...
00:41:51Care about you.
00:41:54Reframing as a question, but also ensuring that you outline your intent.
00:42:00I think this is incredibly important, because what I hear you saying, Grace,
00:42:04is that you have this anxiety around, well, what is the intention?
00:42:09But instead, if it is, here's what I'd like to offer,
00:42:12because I want to show you how much I care for you.
00:42:15Is that fair?
00:42:15Mm-hmm.
00:42:16Grace is about understanding what your triggers are, what makes you feel comfortable,
00:42:23you know, having that open communication and really building that trust.
00:42:27Like Paul said, there's something there about intent,
00:42:30because, actually, if Grace can hear that the intention isn't to control
00:42:36or to want any sex or affection, but it's just a kind act,
00:42:40I suspect her response will be more positive,
00:42:43but it does require open communications and patience as well.
00:42:49Yeah?
00:42:49Well, I will work on it, and I appreciate it.
00:42:51So then, Ashley, I would ask you, what do you believe Grace could do to help you?
00:42:58I'm not really sure anymore, because I'm struggling with the fact that
00:43:01if this is the way it is, I can't do this forever.
00:43:06I'm truly trying my utmost to make this work,
00:43:10and I feel like I'm always hitting this wall.
00:43:12Here's what I would love you to do.
00:43:16Ashley, your homework is always include your intention.
00:43:20Okay.
00:43:21Grace, here's what I would love for you to do.
00:43:24Have you ever heard of the magic ratio?
00:43:26Hit me with the magic.
00:43:28The magic ratio.
00:43:29Every time something happens in your relationship where it's challenged,
00:43:33you want to make sure that there's at least five positive affirmations.
00:43:38You don't have to calculate it five to one, da-da-da,
00:43:40but just think about how every day you are continuing to provide these positive affirmations
00:43:48to your partner, because once he receives that, he'll know she's in it,
00:43:53and that's going to give him the fuel to continue to fight for the relationship.
00:43:59Now, you should be doing the same thing, Ash,
00:44:01and then you end up building a stronger relationship, okay?
00:44:07Grace, how do you feel right now in this moment?
00:44:10I feel...
00:44:13I do feel a bit frustrated almost,
00:44:16because it always comes back to, like,
00:44:19like, Ashley makes all the effort.
00:44:23Yeah.
00:44:23I feel...
00:44:25Like, even coming into this,
00:44:28Ash was like, I'll let you lead, like, I'll let you...
00:44:31And then I just feel like Ash just somehow managed to make it
00:44:34about me being the problem again.
00:44:36But I do feel that there's potential.
00:44:40When we're good, it is good.
00:44:42We are moving forward.
00:44:43It's two steps forward, one step back.
00:44:46So I think if we keep going and we keep working at it,
00:44:49hopefully it'll just connect.
00:44:51We've got to work at it.
00:44:52It's just hard.
00:44:54It is incredibly hard.
00:44:57And now I'm going to ask you to do something even harder,
00:45:00and that is to make a decision.
00:45:02Okay?
00:45:03I thought you were going to say kiss.
00:45:04Oh, my God.
00:45:06Have a kiss.
00:45:07See if it works.
00:45:08Look at that.
00:45:09Look how you snapped into that.
00:45:10No, it can be fun.
00:45:11It definitely can.
00:45:13It can be.
00:45:14It can be fun.
00:45:14Yeah.
00:45:16If we can go with Ashley first.
00:45:19So, I'm sorry and I'm annoyed at myself for getting frustrated.
00:45:23I am giving this everything.
00:45:25I have from the very beginning.
00:45:26I've said I would.
00:45:27When it's good, it's absolutely amazing.
00:45:28And I'm really happy.
00:45:30I genuinely believe if we can get over this,
00:45:33we're going to be the strongest couple
00:45:34because I think we're dealing with so many things
00:45:36that it'll make us from strength to strength.
00:45:39I'm in it as long as you are,
00:45:41and I'm really willing to work at it.
00:45:42So, I said to stay.
00:45:53Grace.
00:45:55This is really hard.
00:45:58I'm sorry if it feels like I don't appreciate you.
00:46:03I came here for a marriage.
00:46:06I'm committed.
00:46:07I really want to make this work.
00:46:09So.
00:46:09Stay.
00:46:17What's that under?
00:46:18Nail polish.
00:46:19Of course it's nail polish.
00:46:21Of course.
00:46:22All right.
00:46:23Thank you so much for your honesty and your vulnerability.
00:46:27Thank you.
00:46:27Thank you very much.
00:46:28Thank you.
00:46:29Next up to the couch,
00:46:45Rebecca and Bailey.
00:46:46Thank you.
00:46:47Thank you.
00:46:49Hello, nice.
00:46:50Hello.
00:46:50You all right?
00:46:51Hello.
00:46:52Hello.
00:46:52Lovely to see the two of you.
00:46:54Lovely to see you too.
00:46:56Tell me how your week has been.
00:46:58Yeah, another good week for us.
00:46:59We had our little task, which was X-Files.
00:47:03It was nice to open up a bit more.
00:47:06I think it brought out a vulnerable side from us both.
00:47:08I learned a bit about you, and she does wear her harness sleeve, and she is an emotional girl.
00:47:13Those are all good qualities.
00:47:14So I came out of it in a better place, I think, just happier, just hearing a bit more of that deeper side.
00:47:20Opening up, being comfortable to talk about anything and everything is an important part of a relationship.
00:47:25So I would definitely say that it helped.
00:47:28Yeah, it felt great to connect with him on a deeper level.
00:47:32We did get into have we broken people's hearts before and how we feel about that now.
00:47:37So I think when you talk on a deeper level with someone, especially when you share like an emotional conversation,
00:47:42of course it's going to bring us closer.
00:47:45There was no conflict around that.
00:47:46We were just talking on a really vulnerable level and came up the other end closer, yeah.
00:47:52What I'm seeing here is that this is a phenomenal relationship.
00:47:55There has been no conflict.
00:47:59There was a scale that you were given on a scale of 1 to 10.
00:48:05No, I don't know what you're on about.
00:48:07Was it, Bailey?
00:48:07I don't remember.
00:48:08It was a scale from 1 to 10, 10 being love.
00:48:11And Bailey, for you, it was a 9.5.
00:48:19I don't know what the 0.5 is about.
00:48:22I feel like it's a bit of me second-guessing myself.
00:48:26So I probably feel like even though I liked my answer, I probably wasn't being true with myself
00:48:32because the feeling is there and I do love it.
00:48:38So it's a 10.
00:48:38It's a 10.
00:48:40So, yeah, it is a 10.
00:48:42And I don't know, I do love you.
00:48:44I am in love with you, yeah.
00:48:45So, yeah.
00:48:46That's so lovely to hear.
00:48:56And, Rebecca, how is that for you to hear Bailey say that?
00:48:58It's so nice.
00:48:59It's like, I can't imagine my life without Bailey.
00:49:02And I know that he might be more vocal when it comes to the love stuff.
00:49:08And it feels a little bit soon for me to declare that right now.
00:49:13But I feel so deeply for him.
00:49:16Bailey knows how I feel.
00:49:17You know how I feel about you for sure, don't you?
00:49:19Yeah, 100%.
00:49:20Yeah, I didn't say it to get it back and, like, you can go at your own time.
00:49:23But I wanted to say it.
00:49:25I had to say it.
00:49:25So, yeah.
00:49:29Lovely.
00:49:29I've got a nice, warm, fuzzy feeling right now.
00:49:31So this is good.
00:49:32Yay!
00:49:33So, let's go to a decision.
00:49:37Bailey, if we can start with you, please.
00:49:39You have all the qualities that I was looking for in a wife and so many more that I didn't
00:49:44even realise that I kind of needed.
00:49:46So, really loving spending time with you, loving to get to know you.
00:49:50And, yeah, can't wait for this journey to carry on.
00:49:53So, it is a resounding stay.
00:49:56Yay.
00:49:57With a love heart.
00:49:58Oh, let me see.
00:49:59Oh, that's cute.
00:50:00Yeah.
00:50:01That's cute.
00:50:01That was lovely.
00:50:02That was awesome.
00:50:03So, nice.
00:50:03Rebecca, what's your decision?
00:50:05I'm so happy with what you've said to me.
00:50:08And you know that I feel really, really strong feelings for you.
00:50:11And you make life just light and fun.
00:50:13And, yeah, you're just an amazing person.
00:50:16So, 100 million percent stay.
00:50:22I'm really excited to see where this relationship goes.
00:50:24Thank you.
00:50:25Wish you all the best for the rest of the week.
00:50:26We'll see you next week.
00:50:27Well done, guys.
00:50:28Well done, baby.
00:50:29Thank you.
00:50:30Next couple up on the couch.
00:50:46Anita and Paul.
00:50:47Thank you, ma'am.
00:50:49Hello.
00:50:49Hello.
00:50:50Hello, Jen.
00:50:50Hi.
00:50:51Welcome.
00:50:51Hello.
00:50:52Hi.
00:50:52Hi.
00:50:53Welcome.
00:50:56When we last saw you on the couch, Anita, you said, leave.
00:51:01Yes.
00:51:01And it was all about feeling that Paul could be doing more to listen to you.
00:51:06How have things gone this week?
00:51:08Um, had your challenge.
00:51:11That kind of opened the doors for Paul to ask more questions.
00:51:18Anita, did you feel that he was asking you questions that was helping him to get to know you better?
00:51:25Not really.
00:51:27Nothing of the deep kind of stuff.
00:51:31What did he ask you about?
00:51:32Paul asked, do you have the time and the patience to wait for me?
00:51:40And I answered, well, how long is a piece of string?
00:51:44OK, Paul, can you tell us a bit more about that?
00:51:47From my perspective, time makes all the difference to grow a bond.
00:51:52It takes me a long time.
00:51:55My foundation is trust, respect, values.
00:51:59And then I build from then.
00:52:04And Anita has emphasised she doesn't have that time.
00:52:07Well, really, nobody does in this experiment.
00:52:08Sure, yeah.
00:52:09You know, this is a fast-tracked process.
00:52:12I feel like I've made an effort.
00:52:14But when I got to affairs of the heart, there's not been a lot of depth.
00:52:22I've sidetracked it slightly, shall we say.
00:52:25You've sidetracked it?
00:52:26I think so, yeah.
00:52:27I think I have to be honest with myself, yeah.
00:52:29I think I should have considered that.
00:52:31I would have had to be quicker in being emotionally vulnerable.
00:52:37Paul, when you were starting to come into the experiment,
00:52:41you were quite clear that you were ready for love.
00:52:44So I'm wondering what changed for you.
00:52:48Maybe I wasn't brave enough.
00:52:52The fear of opening up, being in a vulnerable space,
00:52:57it's kind of alien to me.
00:53:00Because it's always ended with failure.
00:53:02Hence why I'm sitting on the sofa.
00:53:05So, Anita, how's all of this landing for you?
00:53:10Disappointed.
00:53:11The outside is great, and I can see why we've been paired and matched up.
00:53:18But, like, he's like a huge onion.
00:53:22He's got loads of layers to him.
00:53:24And the deeper layers, we are just on two totally different pages.
00:53:29Yeah.
00:53:31I'm ready.
00:53:32That's why I'm here.
00:53:33I don't think, truly, Paul has actually been ready.
00:53:40Paul and I are good friends.
00:53:46But that's not what I came for.
00:53:49I came looking for love, and...
00:53:52Yeah.
00:53:56Yeah, that's a very, uh, observant comment, I think.
00:54:00You came to find love, and I came to find myself.
00:54:06I'm going to go to a decision.
00:54:07Anita, to you first.
00:54:10I know I said I was a bowler last week,
00:54:12and I took your advice on board.
00:54:15Spent more time with Paul.
00:54:18But I'm still not convinced...
00:54:22..we can get on the same path.
00:54:25Um...
00:54:27I think the world of Paul, I really do.
00:54:29Genuinely, from the bottom of my heart.
00:54:31I really do.
00:54:32HE LAUGHS
00:54:33My mindset really hasn't shifted that much.
00:54:57So...
00:54:58..I've decided to...
00:55:01..you can't believe it.
00:55:06APPLAUSE
00:55:06And to you, Paul.
00:55:11Oof, my turn.
00:55:12Yeah.
00:55:14Um...
00:55:15..it's with...
00:55:17..great understanding.
00:55:24Great respect.
00:55:27Back to the golf course.
00:55:28Leave.
00:55:28APPLAUSE
00:55:30You certainly look like a couple of people
00:55:37who have a lovely friendship.
00:55:39Yeah, 100%.
00:55:40I enjoy the company.
00:55:42She's a good girl.
00:55:43We are, obviously, the three of us,
00:55:45very disappointed for both of you
00:55:47that you didn't find what you were looking for here.
00:55:49But we are certainly buoyed by the thought
00:55:52that you both learned a thing or two about yourselves
00:55:54that hopefully you can now take back into the world
00:55:56and hopefully into future relationships,
00:55:59knowing more about what you want and what you don't want.
00:56:01For sure.
00:56:02So thank you so much for all your honesty and openness.
00:56:05Thank you.
00:56:06Thank you.
00:56:07Thank you.
00:56:07APPLAUSE
00:56:08I came here for a wife.
00:56:14I came here for love.
00:56:15That was the intention.
00:56:16It's all right.
00:56:17It's all right.
00:56:18I think from Anita's perspective,
00:56:21it needs to be instant.
00:56:23I just wanted time to find that love.
00:56:27I wish I could be able to get vulnerable much quicker.
00:56:31My pace was a bit slower.
00:56:33My emotion was not very deep.
00:56:36And I have to take responsibility for that.
00:56:38Next up to the couch.
00:57:00Lee and Leah.
00:57:01Come on.
00:57:03APPLAUSE
00:57:03Hello.
00:57:08Hello.
00:57:09Good to see you both.
00:57:11Good to see you.
00:57:12How are you?
00:57:14Wobbly week.
00:57:15Wonky wobbly week.
00:57:17A wonky wobbly week.
00:57:19Yeah.
00:57:19All right.
00:57:20So where I would love to begin
00:57:22is when you heard this one was coming.
00:57:25Oh.
00:57:26No, we definitely need it.
00:57:27And I was excited for it.
00:57:28I just didn't know what was to expect.
00:57:30Yeah.
00:57:30Well, I wasn't expecting the table of sex toys,
00:57:32put it that way.
00:57:33We took a handful of stuff.
00:57:36I would like to have done the wax candle thing,
00:57:39which is a pinky promise.
00:57:40I did pinky promise that we would do it last night,
00:57:41but I'll be honest, it was a really long day.
00:57:43And we were both tired by the time I got on.
00:57:45I wasn't tired.
00:57:46It wasn't the best time for me to get him massaged.
00:57:47I felt like I could have had the massage.
00:57:48OK.
00:57:50Another thing I've done wrong then.
00:57:53What was the intention of taking the sex toys?
00:57:58To maybe go the next step
00:58:01or, like, see what happens with them.
00:58:02Was that your intention, Lee?
00:58:05I wasn't massively thinking,
00:58:06oh, my God, can't wait to get into bed
00:58:08and use all these later,
00:58:09being that we're not even at that base yet.
00:58:12Me and Leah have kissed a few times,
00:58:14but I think we've got a lot to come
00:58:16before we even get to that point.
00:58:18What's holding you back?
00:58:24There's been this huge light shone
00:58:26on mine and Leah's intimacy.
00:58:28And when this pressure has come in,
00:58:31it just kind of feels a bit like,
00:58:33can we just, like, appreciate all of the good
00:58:36that we do have for a second
00:58:38and not, you know, shine this light
00:58:40on the little bits that are missing
00:58:41and that will come naturally
00:58:43because the intimacy on a physical level
00:58:45could come when we deepen
00:58:47that emotional connection.
00:58:49So let's go to something else
00:58:52that I saw creep up
00:58:54that you, Lee, were voicing concern
00:58:59with regard to an interaction
00:59:01that you thought Leah and Rebecca had.
00:59:04There was a moment where I felt
00:59:05Leah was being over-familiar with Rebecca.
00:59:07I mean, now we've realised
00:59:09in a way it was quite positive
00:59:11because there's obviously feelings there.
00:59:13Otherwise, I wouldn't have reacted that way.
00:59:15OK. Have you investigated those feelings?
00:59:19I have tried to.
00:59:20I've been with people in the past
00:59:22that have been overly flirty
00:59:24and disrespectful in front of my face,
00:59:26so I'll take that there was part of that
00:59:27that was a trigger for me from my past.
00:59:30But I wouldn't feel this way about a friend.
00:59:33I wouldn't feel those feelings of jealousy.
00:59:35I wouldn't, you know, be bothered
00:59:37when we're arguing and get my back up
00:59:39and get argumentative in the moment
00:59:41because if I didn't care to that degree,
00:59:43I wouldn't do that.
00:59:44So I've identified that there are feelings there,
00:59:47so for me, that's positive.
00:59:50You have this feeling of jealousy.
00:59:52What is the fear of that feeling?
00:59:56Like not being enough
00:59:57because I've had that in the past.
00:59:59So if you have those fears,
01:00:00what's the desire?
01:00:02To be enough and to be respected.
01:00:06Not for you just to be enough,
01:00:08but for your partner
01:00:09to exhibit that you are enough.
01:00:11Yeah.
01:00:12That's what you want.
01:00:13Yeah.
01:00:13You want to make sure Leah
01:00:14feels like you are enough.
01:00:18Personally, like, it's nice to know
01:00:19that Shaz got feeling in there.
01:00:22She doesn't say things like that a lot.
01:00:25You know, Leah,
01:00:26Leah adores you.
01:00:29and she wants to be affirmed.
01:00:33Yeah.
01:00:34And affirmed could be,
01:00:35I do like you.
01:00:36I do care about you.
01:00:37It could be a hug.
01:00:38It could be whatever it may be.
01:00:39But the key is that
01:00:40you're consistently affirming your partner.
01:00:43Yeah.
01:00:43I'll make more of an effort to do that.
01:00:44I feel like I do that with you quite a lot.
01:00:46Yeah, you do.
01:00:47But moving forward,
01:00:48I accept that that's important to you
01:00:50and I will make an effort to do that.
01:00:52Okay.
01:00:53Let's go to a decision.
01:00:55Leah.
01:00:56It's been a wobbly week.
01:00:58Yeah, it's been a wobbly week.
01:00:59Although it's been difficult,
01:01:01I think it's become
01:01:02so much more apparent
01:01:03that there definitely is something there.
01:01:06So, yeah,
01:01:06I want to continue to see where it goes
01:01:08and I want to
01:01:09discover more levels of you and us.
01:01:13So I chose to stay.
01:01:15Thank you.
01:01:20I think for me,
01:01:23I do believe
01:01:24there's definitely something there.
01:01:25I've taken the arguments
01:01:27really positively
01:01:28because it's shown
01:01:28that you have got
01:01:29some kind of feeling there.
01:01:31So I wrote stay.
01:01:33Wonderful.
01:01:39Let's take the pressure off
01:01:41the physical intimacy
01:01:43and let's work on building
01:01:45the emotional intimacy.
01:01:46Yeah, I'd love that.
01:01:48All right.
01:01:48Does that sound fair?
01:01:49Yeah.
01:01:51All right.
01:01:52This is good.
01:01:53Thank you.
01:01:54Thank you.
01:01:55Thank you.
01:02:04Our next couple on the couch tonight,
01:02:07Nellie and Stephen.
01:02:16Hello, you two.
01:02:18Hello, you two.
01:02:19Well, last night's dinner party
01:02:25was rough
01:02:27for you guys.
01:02:30And certainly,
01:02:31just looking at the two of you now,
01:02:33it's looking pretty frosty.
01:02:36So,
01:02:37what has transpired
01:02:39in the last 24 hours?
01:02:40So, we had the dinner party last night.
01:02:46There was a lot of opinions in the room,
01:02:47which I really appreciated
01:02:48because I feel like I needed
01:02:49my support system
01:02:51to vocalise how I was feeling.
01:02:52When we got home,
01:02:53we said we weren't going to talk about it,
01:02:55but I just said to him,
01:02:56please, if I ever talk about my feelings,
01:02:58just hear me and listen to me.
01:02:59And he said, yeah,
01:03:00and he would.
01:03:01And then this morning,
01:03:02we were talking
01:03:03and then
01:03:04it turned into an argument
01:03:06which ended with Stephen calling me a fucking idiot.
01:03:09I allowed frustrations
01:03:18to get better at me.
01:03:18I didn't mean it directed at you.
01:03:20I mean,
01:03:21it's just the whole situation
01:03:22is just idiotic to me.
01:03:23Like,
01:03:24everything that's led up to it
01:03:25this week
01:03:25is just,
01:03:27it'd be so frustrating
01:03:28and saying,
01:03:29go around in circles.
01:03:30I didn't mean...
01:03:30Sorry,
01:03:31can I just be clear?
01:03:32Did you call the situation
01:03:33an idiot
01:03:33or Nelly?
01:03:35I meant to say
01:03:36the whole situation for me is...
01:03:38You said,
01:03:38you're a fucking idiot.
01:03:40I was trying to,
01:03:42like,
01:03:42word out that
01:03:43the whole situation
01:03:44is idiotic to me.
01:03:44But what you actually said...
01:03:46Fucking idiot, yeah.
01:03:46And that's just how it come out.
01:03:52It's not just how it came out.
01:03:54It's how you chose to say it.
01:03:58You're a grown man.
01:04:00in control of the words
01:04:01that come out of your mouth.
01:04:15You said,
01:04:16you're a fucking idiot.
01:04:16Yeah,
01:04:17and I said,
01:04:17I was trying to,
01:04:19like,
01:04:20word out that
01:04:20the whole situation
01:04:21is idiotic to me.
01:04:22But what you actually said...
01:04:23Fucking idiot, yeah.
01:04:24Yeah.
01:04:24And that's just how it come out.
01:04:28It's not just how it came out.
01:04:30It's how you chose to say it.
01:04:32You're a grown man
01:04:33in control of the words
01:04:35that come out of your mouth.
01:04:38Is this something
01:04:39that's new for you,
01:04:41coming out with a bit
01:04:41of an outburst like this?
01:04:42Or is that a pattern
01:04:43you've noticed
01:04:44in yourself?
01:04:45totally new to me.
01:04:48I'm a very calm character.
01:04:49I'm a very cool character.
01:04:50I find it very hard
01:04:51to actually lose my rag.
01:04:54And the reason,
01:04:54obviously,
01:04:54for that,
01:04:55which I've opened up
01:04:57to nearly a few bits
01:04:58about,
01:04:58obviously,
01:04:58my attack
01:04:59when I was 20.
01:04:59and I found it very hard
01:05:03then to lose my temper
01:05:06with people.
01:05:07For many, many years,
01:05:09I've felt broken
01:05:09because I can't feel
01:05:10those emotions.
01:05:11OK, I can see
01:05:12what's happening here.
01:05:14You've had trauma
01:05:15and you bring that
01:05:16into the relationship.
01:05:19And that counts to a point,
01:05:22but it doesn't excuse it.
01:05:24Because the bottom line here
01:05:26is you've said something
01:05:27that's really hurt Nellie.
01:05:30Are you understanding
01:05:32the impact of your words
01:05:34and behaviour this week
01:05:35on Nellie?
01:05:37Yeah, absolutely.
01:05:38I think this week
01:05:39my marriage hadn't been
01:05:40a priority.
01:05:41Getting the news
01:05:42my stepdad,
01:05:43who's basically raised me,
01:05:44is in hospital.
01:05:45So, for me...
01:05:50It's OK.
01:05:57So, for me,
01:05:58this week,
01:06:00I've just not been able
01:06:01to think of
01:06:02the marriage.
01:06:04When you've
01:06:05potentially broken your rib,
01:06:07I didn't come home
01:06:08because I was with the guys.
01:06:09That was my outlet.
01:06:10Are you saying then
01:06:12that the events
01:06:13of this week
01:06:14and the way that you've
01:06:15responded
01:06:16are purely a function
01:06:19of you having
01:06:20a lot of stress
01:06:21in your life
01:06:21outside of the experiment?
01:06:23A million percent
01:06:23is our character for me.
01:06:25It's certainly surprising
01:06:26to us.
01:06:27And it's been really hard
01:06:29to watch this week.
01:06:31And now,
01:06:32you know,
01:06:32seeing how much pain
01:06:33you're in,
01:06:33I think it does help us
01:06:36understand a little bit,
01:06:37you know,
01:06:37this is not the Stephen
01:06:38that we know.
01:06:40And Nellie,
01:06:41you're probably thinking
01:06:41this is not the man
01:06:42I married.
01:06:43Yeah.
01:06:44I think I'm just thinking,
01:06:45well,
01:06:45which one are you?
01:06:46Is this you?
01:06:47Because if it is,
01:06:48then we can shake hands
01:06:49and we can go,
01:06:50we can split from here.
01:06:51Or are you the Stephen
01:06:53on the honeymoon
01:06:53because we were so happy?
01:06:55My concern here
01:06:56is that Stephen,
01:06:57your behaviour this week
01:06:59has fed into Nellie's
01:07:00existing insecurities.
01:07:02Yeah.
01:07:06Yeah.
01:07:06Is that right, Nellie?
01:07:07Yeah, it is.
01:07:08I just feel like,
01:07:09I don't know
01:07:12whether I can open up
01:07:12like how I was
01:07:14on the honeymoon
01:07:14because I did
01:07:16and I feel like
01:07:17I've got burned.
01:07:18So it's the same story.
01:07:20What's the point?
01:07:21This week has been awful.
01:07:22It's been hell.
01:07:24Just,
01:07:24I don't know who you are.
01:07:27Stephen,
01:07:27you're the one
01:07:28with the answers here.
01:07:31It is that stress.
01:07:33What you saw
01:07:34on the honeymoon,
01:07:35what you saw
01:07:35on the wedding day,
01:07:36that's me.
01:07:37It's been so long
01:07:38since I've actually
01:07:39met someone
01:07:40who I've connected
01:07:41with and vibed with
01:07:42to the point
01:07:42where I'm like,
01:07:43oh, shit.
01:07:44This is a great feeling.
01:07:46I've not heard that before.
01:07:48I know,
01:07:48because I'm allowing myself
01:07:50to be vulnerable
01:07:50and emotional
01:07:51for a change.
01:07:51Thank you.
01:07:52This is not
01:07:52something I'm used to.
01:07:55Nellie,
01:07:55I'm curious about
01:07:56what you need
01:07:56from Stephen
01:07:57to start to feel
01:07:59that things are back on track.
01:08:01I just need the words
01:08:02that he said this week.
01:08:03He needs to put them
01:08:04into action.
01:08:05I just need to feel
01:08:06like you care.
01:08:09It's very clear
01:08:10that this week,
01:08:11Stephen,
01:08:12through your actions,
01:08:14you've communicated
01:08:15to Nellie
01:08:16that you don't care.
01:08:18How do you actually
01:08:19feel about her?
01:08:22I like you.
01:08:24I really like you.
01:08:25Of course,
01:08:25my actions this week
01:08:26would suggest otherwise.
01:08:28But the like is there
01:08:29because I wouldn't be here.
01:08:31This is real.
01:08:32I'm in it.
01:08:33I would love
01:08:34to be on that path
01:08:35of the love.
01:08:36That's what I'm here for.
01:08:37I'm still willing
01:08:37to fight for this
01:08:38because that honeymoon
01:08:39thing that we had,
01:08:41that's me.
01:08:42That's us.
01:08:43This week is not me.
01:08:46It's not us.
01:08:53With that,
01:08:53we're going to go
01:08:54to a decision
01:08:54and we're going
01:08:55to start with Stephen.
01:08:56So for me,
01:08:58as hard as this
01:08:59week has been emotionally,
01:09:02after this morning,
01:09:04I thought I'd push
01:09:04Nellie back even further
01:09:06because of me
01:09:07being an idiot.
01:09:08But I'm not going
01:09:10to give up on something
01:09:11over the first
01:09:13real hurdle we've had.
01:09:14And this time next week,
01:09:15it won't be me
01:09:16being an absolute
01:09:17a-hole
01:09:18to this person
01:09:19next to me.
01:09:20It'll be back
01:09:21to what you saw
01:09:21last week.
01:09:22and I think
01:09:24hopefully
01:09:24going forward
01:09:26to what we want
01:09:27for the future
01:09:28because that's
01:09:28what I want.
01:09:30So I'm going to stay.
01:09:37Thank you.
01:09:38And to you, Nellie.
01:09:41So obviously
01:09:42this week has been
01:09:43really, really difficult
01:09:43for me.
01:09:45Everything in my body
01:09:46was telling me to run.
01:09:50Honestly,
01:09:51if I'm honest with you,
01:09:51I've been 50-50
01:09:52for like the whole
01:09:53special year after today.
01:09:55It's been really,
01:09:55really hard for me.
01:10:00I would just feel like
01:10:01I would be doing
01:10:02a disservice to both of us
01:10:03if I've not given you
01:10:04a chance to show me
01:10:05that you do care.
01:10:08So I've said
01:10:09I want to stay for now.
01:10:10Stephen,
01:10:21you've got some heavy lifting
01:10:23to do this week.
01:10:25This is all about
01:10:26showing up for Nellie,
01:10:28showing her
01:10:29who you really are,
01:10:30showing her
01:10:31how much she matters,
01:10:33supporting her.
01:10:34Yeah.
01:10:34Spotlight is on you,
01:10:36my friend.
01:10:37I appreciate it.
01:10:37Thank you very much.
01:10:38Thanks, guys.
01:10:39Thank you.
01:10:40Thank you so much.
01:10:41Well done.
01:10:41Well done.
01:10:41Well done.
01:10:42Well done.
01:10:43Thank you.
01:10:51Stephen's obviously
01:10:52going through a lot.
01:10:53It's really sad
01:10:54and his dad's a priority
01:10:55at the moment.
01:10:56But I'm sorry,
01:10:56this week has been awful.
01:10:58It's been hellish.
01:10:59I need to see Stephen
01:11:00affirm me,
01:11:02support me,
01:11:03show up for me.
01:11:04He really needs to show me
01:11:05that he cares
01:11:06because if he doesn't,
01:11:08then it's just words
01:11:09and he's not backing up
01:11:10with action.
01:11:11I just need a bit more.
01:11:15Next time...
01:11:16I'm not going to tell
01:11:17the story your way.
01:11:19Grace and Ashley
01:11:20continue to clash.
01:11:21It's like talking
01:11:22to a brick wall, Ash.
01:11:23And as the experiment
01:11:24hits its next phase...
01:11:25It's in Lars' week.
01:11:27Brilliant.
01:11:27Will hard truths
01:11:31from loved ones...
01:11:32This has probably
01:11:32been the hardest week.
01:11:33...spell more trouble
01:11:34for the couple?
01:11:35I just don't want you
01:11:36to tell me how to look,
01:11:36how to be.
01:11:37I don't need it.
01:11:38I would agree.
01:11:39Don't tell me what to wear.
01:11:41And it's time
01:11:42for six more
01:11:42courageous singles...
01:11:44I want to have
01:11:44my happily ever after.
01:11:46...to take the ultimate
01:11:47gamble on love.
01:11:48Today is now or never.
01:11:50Everything is riding on this.
01:11:52But will an overprotective mum...
01:11:54Here's my abby.
01:11:55I will not see her hurt again.
01:11:57derail the first
01:11:58new couple's big day.
01:12:00The last thing I want
01:12:01is to be upset
01:12:01by some arrogant person
01:12:04that comes along.
01:12:05I am the one
01:12:06that vets everybody.
01:12:07I'm the bad guy.
01:12:09Beware.
01:12:10To apply for future series
01:12:12of Married at First Sight,
01:12:13go to
01:12:14channel4.com
01:12:15forward slash
01:12:16take part.
01:12:16The last thing I want
01:12:18to do is stay
01:12:19back to the first
01:12:21of the first
01:12:21and the third
01:12:21the first
01:12:22to be
01:12:22the first
01:12:23of the first
01:12:24and the second
01:12:26the third
01:12:26is to be
01:12:26the best
01:12:28of the first
01:12:28and the third
01:12:28of the first
01:12:29Sous-titrage MFP.
Recommandations
42:21
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