This episode of Unlocked - Family Secrets delves into a new set of hidden family revelations. The series explores the intricate and often surprising truths that lie within families.
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unlocked family-secrets secrets family unlocked-family-secrets full-episode streaming watch-online
#FullEpisode #Streaming #TVSeries #FamilySecrets
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00:00As a child, the three most important people were my mother, my father, and my
00:10grandmother. And even though we were not a traditional family, it all worked for
00:16us until it didn't. The hidden truths everyone tried to protect me from nearly
00:25destroyed me. Who is she? Who's this woman I'm hidden from? Heather cried for her dad.
00:32She'd always ask, like, where's my dad? She confessed to me, mommy, I think I might be in danger.
00:41In my rear view, there's a guy with an Uzi. If I get killed, then what happens to my son?
00:50This is a secret that I've been holding since I was a kid.
00:53It was all my fault.
01:09I was in the ninth grade. I was 15. I was just trying to hold it together. But I felt like
01:17I couldn't be who I truly was because a lot of my identity was in my family, was in who
01:25my father was, who my mother was. Heather was a happy child. Whatever she wanted, her father
01:33gave it to her.
01:34My parents, they didn't really know that I was hurt until it was brought to the surface. I just wanted
01:40to go. If I was gone, it would fix everything.
01:45Now there's no secret to keep.
01:58My name is Heather James Miller. I'm a mother of three, an entrepreneur and an author. I live
02:06in southern New Jersey, just across the river from Philadelphia in the same home that I was raised.
02:14I was born in 78. My mother, Tommy, was very determined, bullheaded sometimes, but she was
02:20caring. She would give you the shirt off her back. She's a sweet soul. My father is Columbus James. He
02:30went by Earl. Before I was born, he was in the Air Force. My dad had a great personality. He was, oh,
02:40charismatic. Before she started dating my father, my mother already had one daughter, Danielle, from a
02:47previous marriage. She was five when I was born. I recall my mom found Earl and he was the one that was
02:57going to be able to care for myself and my sister. Then when my mother did give birth, I was really
03:04excited at home. I remember looking over in the crib at her, asking my mom, can I hold her? Please, can I hold
03:11her? Growing up in our house, it was just me, my mom, and Danielle. My parents were not married, but they
03:21were a happy couple, even though my dad was rarely there. Earl, I don't recall seeing him there a lot.
03:28Probably like twice a month, if that.
03:35Heather cried for her dad. She'd always ask, like, where's my dad? Is he coming? We both questioned my
03:42mom about that, but she just found a way to avoid the conversation. Answering, oh, he's not feeling good,
03:49or he'll be over tomorrow. I know my dad loved me. One hundred percent. But my mom was a single mom,
03:58and she would go to work. My sister wasn't old enough to watch me. So during the summer months,
04:04my mom thought the best idea was for me to stay with Freshie.
04:10That's my father's mother. Every summer, I was in Philadelphia with her. My grandmother's real name
04:20was Marie Davis. She had a nickname for me. She would say, Fresh Pot, get over here. It was just a nickname
04:26we had between the two of us. The memories I made at my grandmother's are still fresh in my mind.
04:36She was always cooking something. Fried chicken, collard greens, and the best cakes.
04:46I had one friend, Selena, and that was my grandmother's really good friend, Miss Janie's granddaughter.
04:54We played all those games on the street. Hopscotch, tag, and red light, green light.
05:01And so the street lights came on, having a ball.
05:10The last time I was in my grandmother's neighborhood was more than 30 years ago.
05:15But I'm finally ready to go back. There are so many good memories, but also some not so good memories.
05:25Lots of emotions. We're getting close.
05:40Oh, my God.
05:45It looks exactly the same. And this is so crazy.
05:50I specifically remember the photos in the hallway. Extravagant vacations.
06:01My father with other kids. A light-skinned woman at a college graduation.
06:07I'd always ask my grandma, who are these people?
06:12Freshie told me they were my family, but I didn't know any of them.
06:16And there weren't any photos of me around.
06:23I didn't understand why.
06:28And there's also this one incident from 1986 that is burnt in my brain.
06:35I was seven.
06:37Freshie had just got off the phone, and she looked troubled.
06:42She said she had some errands. She had to go out. And she said, I'm going to send you over to Miss Janie's.
06:50She never let me out of her sight. So that was strange.
06:56I get over to Miss Janie's.
06:59Selena had met me halfway. She was so excited.
07:02So we get in the house, and we're playing in the living room.
07:06And I could hear Miss Janie and Miss Virginia. Miss Virginia lived a couple doors down, and he was talking and smoking.
07:14I heard a car. So I went to the door.
07:18And I could see this woman coming out this car.
07:23I remember her having heels on.
07:25I just see the back of her walking towards my grandma.
07:30I wondered, who is she? Who's this woman I'm hidden from?
07:37And Miss Janie said, oh, her daughter-in-law coming.
07:44I didn't know why my grandmother had lied to me.
07:47Or why I couldn't be around when she met with this woman.
07:50After this woman was gone.
07:55When I got back to Freshie, she looked relieved.
08:02But I didn't ask Freshie who this woman was.
08:08I didn't understand, but I knew I wasn't supposed to know.
08:11And that no one could know.
08:14I was suddenly now hiding a secret too.
08:19I wanted to tell, but I can't tell.
08:22My dad, I felt like if I told, I was going to be in trouble.
08:34As my childhood went on, I always felt there was more going on around me than I was being told.
08:40When I was around age 12, I realized that my parents were no longer together.
08:47My relationship with my father had changed.
08:49We saw each other less and less as time went on.
08:54It then became hurtful to me that I didn't see my dad that often.
09:00As I grew older and I asked questions, I was told it's complicated.
09:06You wouldn't understand.
09:09Heather realized that her relationship with her dad was different than, of course,
09:14what she would see at my house.
09:15My dad lived there with us, so I know that she knew that her situation was different
09:20and maybe didn't always feel like it was fair to her.
09:25Then in 1993, I was in the ninth grade.
09:29My father took me school shopping.
09:32He told me to get a car and he was very fast moving.
09:36Let's be in and out.
09:39My dad goes to check out and he's rushing.
09:43Goes in front of this woman.
09:44I'm like, oh, he's really moving fast.
09:50We're out in the parking lot and this guy is calling him.
09:54Mr. James, Mr. James.
09:58So I'm like, okay, somebody's calling you.
10:01He's, you know, come on, come on, let's go.
10:03So the guy runs up and he asked my father, oh, who's this?
10:12My dad's like, this is Heather.
10:15That's it.
10:19Just Heather.
10:22My heart sank.
10:24In this moment, I was just Heather.
10:30It was so loaded.
10:31It was as if he said, I'm not going to tell anyone who you are.
10:38I didn't understand why no one could know about me.
10:40It all hit me.
10:46The memories of what my mother had told me as a small child came crashing back.
10:53The conversation was 1983 and I was five.
10:58My mother explained, you know, there's just this one little thing, this one little thing.
11:05Just have to keep it, you know, you can't tell people who your dad is.
11:10Your father has another family.
11:15My mother explained to me I was a gift from God.
11:19She said, we wanted you.
11:22Okay.
11:23So it was an agreement that took place.
11:27But there's just this dynamic that we can't tell people.
11:33I realized besides Freshie, his family doesn't know about me.
11:37I don't want to be my father's secret.
11:43After this situation with my father, I was really upset and I wanted to tell the guy I was dating.
11:49But before I could do that, he was telling me he was breaking up with me.
11:52I was breaking.
11:56I had rejection from my father and then this boy telling me I don't want to be in a relationship anymore.
12:03So it was double.
12:05There was a change in Heather's behavior.
12:08She began to write me letters.
12:10She was always a little chatterbox, but she wouldn't talk.
12:14And I knew something was wrong.
12:16I noticed like a heaviness for her.
12:19Like I definitely knew that there was something that felt like heavier than you see in the average young person.
12:26It was a lot going on mentally.
12:31And I just, I felt like I didn't want to be here anymore.
12:37I want to go.
12:42I was 15 in the ninth grade and the pain of being my father's secret had become too much to bear.
12:50I took a bottle of aspirin and my mom, she knew something was wrong.
13:00And she came in the room and she said, Heather, it's going to be okay.
13:05What's ever going on?
13:07Let's pray about it.
13:09And I was like, God was going to do something.
13:12He would have did it by now.
13:13She confessed to me, Mommy, I took a large amount of aspirins and I think I might be in danger.
13:28And she just instantly, let's go.
13:31Let's go to the hospital.
13:33In the middle of the night, they took her to emergency room.
13:38I was praying that the Lord wouldn't allow her to die.
13:48I'm looking at my mom and dad and they both had looks of, this is a reflection on me.
13:58What have I done?
14:00I said, it's because I don't want to be a secret.
14:04I had a relationship with the married man.
14:08I knew that it was a mortal sin, but I really needed him.
14:13My first husband was abusive and Earl was very supportive.
14:19But after 12 years with Earl, there was a change in me.
14:23I just wanted to end all the lies and deception.
14:27And then I promised God, I said, if you get me out of this mess, then I will never see him again.
14:40I thought that I really was in control of this whole situation.
14:48It just pierced my heart that my child would want to take her life.
14:59I was a secret child.
15:01It hurt.
15:02It hurt a lot.
15:06I think any child expects, like, loyalty from their mother.
15:10Like, you expect them to prioritize, like, your needs and your feelings.
15:14And I think it was hurtful when she felt like she wasn't getting that support.
15:20I realized that I have failed her.
15:24I can't put it in words what I felt.
15:29It was all my fault.
15:31When you get involved with a married man, it affects everyone you love.
15:40And I was wrong.
15:46My mom said, Earl, you got to get this together.
15:49You got to make this right.
15:51Earl was a great man in many ways, but he was a coward.
15:56I begged him to please tell his wife about Heather.
16:05I was mad that his wife doesn't know about me.
16:09I wanted to know my family.
16:12I wanted acceptance.
16:15After my suicide attempt, I was hopeful that my dad would introduce me to his family.
16:20He told me I had a sister, but he didn't introduce me.
16:26And fell back into old patterns of secrecy and rejection.
16:32I found myself desperate again.
16:37Heather would say it wouldn't hurt to meet the other family.
16:40I know it definitely bothered her a lot.
16:44Two years later, I saw there was no progress being made.
16:48So I took it around myself.
16:50Everybody had something in their closet.
16:52One day, I was watching Oprah.
16:54And I remember saying, we're going to get this out.
16:57And Oprah's the one that's going to do it.
17:00So I waited to the credits, roll it at the bottom.
17:03And I said, okay, Arvo Studios, you know.
17:08And I wrote that letter and I mailed it.
17:14Then around Christmas in 1995,
17:17right after I turned 17,
17:19I got a phone call.
17:21It was a producer from the Oprah Winfrey show.
17:24The producer is saying,
17:26well, you think your dad would be willing to come on the show?
17:28I said, oh, absolutely.
17:29I remember sitting at the dinner table and then my mom listening.
17:34And I looked at my sister and she kind of looked at me.
17:39And then I remember my mom calling Earl, saying, you know, Heather wrote this show.
17:45And he's like, you called this?
17:48And I was like, Dad, we're going to go on the show.
17:49We're going to Chicago.
17:51Like, pack your bags.
17:53This is happening.
17:54So he said, no, this is not happening.
17:57And I'm like, why not?
17:58Like, why can't we go on Oprah?
18:00He said, we're not putting our business on TV.
18:04And then Heather's like, yeah, I just want to talk to Oprah.
18:08I want Oprah to, you know, tell my dad and tell you.
18:13Let her tell it all.
18:14If y'all can't tell it, then let her tell it.
18:17And I had just went upstairs and was like, wow.
18:23Heather was heartbroken.
18:24She said, he won't tell his wife.
18:27She's got to know.
18:28I said, that's not the way you handle this.
18:33I said to my dad, well, how else am I going to meet my family?
18:37You know, this is me saying either you make a move or I'm going to make a move.
18:43So my father tells me, if you want to meet your family,
18:47you can meet your sister and I'll send her to you today.
18:52My state of mind was all over the place.
18:55I was excited.
18:56I was nervous.
18:59I got a box of pictures I had over the years, birthday cards.
19:04I was prepared to defend myself for some reason,
19:08just in case she wants to act like I'm not his child.
19:13When I opened the door and I saw her,
19:20she looked exactly how she did in that graduation photo in my grandmother's hallway.
19:27Light skin, curly hair, and so I knew it was real.
19:30She's here.
19:31My dad kept his promise.
19:34He really does love me.
19:40We're talking and I realized she had a lot of things that I did not have growing up.
19:46She had my dad in the house with her.
19:50This is the first time someone else is calling my dad their dad.
19:53And I didn't use daddy that often, but for her it was coming natural. Daddy this and daddy that.
20:00And I'm like, I'm, I'm my daddy's girl. But she was, she was my dad's girl too.
20:09It was so many emotions and I started to feel defensive.
20:14And then she said she wasn't going to say anything to her mom, but she couldn't keep
20:20a relationship with me because it felt like a betrayal to her mother.
20:24And then she left. It wasn't long at all.
20:30I felt so relieved that someone knows about me.
20:35Now I'm a little less of a secret, but it was just a band-aid.
20:41Now when are you going to tell your wife?
20:44I also wondered, my father's wife, was she white? Because how did they make this
20:49light skin, curly hair daughter?
20:54I asked my mom and my mom said, oh, well she was adopted.
20:59And I was like, what?
21:05The revelation that I was my father's only biological daughter gave me new perspective.
21:16When I found out my father and his wife didn't have a biological child together,
21:22I understood that my existence could do damage.
21:27That's traumatic to know that your husband had a child with someone else.
21:32So now I understand why it'll hurt.
21:42Out of love, I agreed to remain hidden. But then at 17, I got unexpected news.
21:50I was pregnant.
21:54I said, I can't have this baby.
21:57It wasn't with a boyfriend. I wasn't ready to be a mom.
22:04I felt so alone.
22:06I wish I could talk to Freshie, but by then she was dealing with dementia.
22:11I started to feel like I had no options.
22:13I begged her. I said, you don't want to have any regrets. So she decided to have Devin.
22:23She had a concern, you know, how is Earl going to be a grandfather to Devin?
22:32He came to the hospital with enough diapers for like six months to a year.
22:40He saw my son and he was like, he's got my hands. He's got them fighter hands.
22:46I saw the pride. You know, this was his grandson.
22:50The sense of peace I settled into with my son and his grandfather didn't last.
23:03In December of 1997, I was at college and my mom asked me to come home.
23:12My dad was here and my dad told me that Freshie had passed.
23:22I cried and cried and cried. I was just devastated.
23:26And then I get a call from my dad that there's just going to be a viewing, no funeral.
23:37I'm like, I'll be there.
23:42The viewing was on Friday and I couldn't leave school in time.
23:53And by the time I get there, it's closed. And I'm like, I missed it. I missed saying goodbye.
24:03But I hadn't missed anything. A worker at the funeral home opened the door and explained that
24:10the funeral was scheduled for Monday. So I'm like, what?
24:16You plan a funeral without me for my grandmother.
24:23I was devastated. I was in disbelief.
24:27Thought we made a little progress. So here we go back to these secrets.
24:31Oh, I'm about to show up. This is my moment. I'm really going to show up.
24:42On Monday, December 8th, 1997, I attended my beloved grandmother's funeral.
24:55Uninvited, but undeterred. That my father and his family will finally see me.
25:01No more secrets. Walking through those doors.
25:12I had my shades on. I had my scarf wrapped around my neck. You know, I was ready to make a scene.
25:19But I get inside and I'm humbled instantly.
25:27There's a lot of people inside this parlor. My father saw me in the back.
25:35And so my father comes to the back. He was a loss for words. Like, I can't believe you're here.
25:40But you're here. So we're going to deal with this. And he said, come on. Come sit up front.
25:51It was like, this is happening. This is real. Here's my moment to finally meet his wife.
25:59Here's my acknowledgement. Here's my acceptance.
26:02My father's wife asked, who's that? And he said, that's Heather. And that was it.
26:19Still no acknowledgement. It was rejection. Again.
26:25My father didn't introduce me to anyone at the funeral or explain who I was.
26:30His wife had no idea I was his daughter. But I was grieving too much to make a scene.
26:39I wondered if she would ever know who I was.
26:42I saw their daughter again. But she did not acknowledge me.
26:51My grandmother's casket was open. And I got up. I took my scarf off. I stood at her casket.
26:59And I just talked to her for a moment. Put my scarf on her. I kissed her.
27:06Told her I love her. And I knew in that moment, nothing else mattered.
27:13That with her death, a part of me was leaving.
27:17She was gone. And I walked out.
27:23She saw herself having to still be the secret, even as she's mourning the loss of somebody that
27:32was so important in her life. I think that was a pivotal moment where the gravity and her frustration
27:37with her situation started to increase.
27:39I spent so long imagining this reunion with my dad's other family.
27:46Once I realized I wasn't going to get it, I was crushed and wanted to forget all of them,
27:53including my own parents.
27:54So I took my son to college with me. And I shut it out. You know, I wasn't talking to my mom. And I wasn't
28:01talking to my sister. And I wasn't talking to my dad.
28:07That drove her dad mad. He would call and say, tell your daughter to answer the phone.
28:13But of course, you know, I didn't get involved because that was between the two of them. And
28:20she wasn't talking to me anyway.
28:25I was a single mother at college. It was a lot. I was spiraling. There was a part of me is like,
28:31I'm going to show you another side of me. And I'm going to take it to the streets.
28:38In 1998, I dropped out of college. And me and Devin moved in with my boyfriend at the time,
28:50Ron, and his mom in Philadelphia. I wasn't getting child support from my son's father. I needed diapers.
29:00I needed milk. Then that summer, I had a friend introduce me to exotic dancing.
29:08She's like, you can make some money. So I started dancing.
29:17Working in the strip club, clearly Heather was affected by everything that she was having to
29:23carry, like just being a secret, having to carry the secret, not being able to like
29:27have access to her father in the way that most people do. I think she wanted to feel loved and accepted.
29:33It felt good to be doing things I wasn't supposed to be doing. But I also never wanted my parents
29:42to find out. Secrets led to more secrets. And I was hiding my pain and more and more bad choices.
29:52We need a house. We need cars. And we're not making enough. So we have to do something to make enough.
29:58Then the next thing I knew, my boyfriend and I, we got caught up in it.
30:06We were selling drugs together.
30:08And then the scene just got really bad. I was the ride along and my boyfriend jumps in the car and he's like, go.
30:18And I'm driving. He's like, press on the gas, press on the gas. In my rear view, there's a guy with an Uzi.
30:29And I'm like shaking like crazy. I'm thinking, if I get killed, then what happens to my son?
30:41I was spiraling into a deep, dark place.
30:46And somehow my parents found out. I'm at my boyfriend's house and I hear like this,
30:51boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. It was like hard knock at the door.
30:57It's my dad. And my dad's like, you're going home now. And I'm like, I'm not ready.
31:06Because I'm still hurt. You still got conversations to have.
31:11He grabbed her hands and thought, come on out now. And I mean, come out.
31:17As much as I didn't want to leave, it felt good to be rescued.
31:25Because in that moment that he came to get me, I felt validated.
31:30So I'm like, let's go.
31:32Her dad put her in the car and took her home.
31:36He said to her, if you get a steady job, I'll buy all your clothes, help you get a car.
31:47And I started becoming the woman I felt like I wanted to be.
31:55The first step, I started a career in hospitality.
31:59In the meantime, I met a man and we set to marry in October 2006.
32:07I was getting excited. Working in the hotel industry, you see tons of weddings.
32:13So I just imagined like what it was going to be like.
32:17And I said to my dad, are you going to walk me down the aisle?
32:21It was just that fear, that fear of rejection. But he said, Heather, I'm going to be there.
32:26So I said, okay, dad. And he was there.
32:32He showed up.
32:32And he walked me down the aisle.
32:37And I was very shocked that Earl was there.
32:40Very shocked.
32:41But it gave me comfort and understanding that this was going to be a great wedding.
32:47We had our first dance.
32:50But he rushed through the dance. He said, how long is this on?
32:53And he cut out shortly after.
32:58It was bittersweet. My dad showed up. But even then, at 27, I was still his secret.
33:06And I remained that way for four more years.
33:13I'm 32 years old.
33:14I'm working at a hotel in Maryland. And my phone kept ringing with this weird number.
33:27And I didn't answer it because I'm at work.
33:29Then my father calls. And he says, if an unknown number calls you, don't answer it.
33:37So I'm like, a number has been calling me, like, all morning.
33:44Then he said, she knows.
33:53Earl was panicking. He said, Verna found out about Heather. And I want you to tell her
34:00that it was a one-night stand. I know that's not true. But just tell her that. And I said,
34:05I certainly am not. And he says, she knows. But now I have to separate from you.
34:14I've thought of this moment my whole life and what it would be like. And I've never expected that.
34:21I was expecting, she's left me. You know, I'm headed for divorce. I was expecting that all these
34:28years. Never, I'm going to have to separate from you.
34:32And I'm like, you've got to be kidding me.
34:38You chose her over me.
34:42I felt like I was going to lose my mind.
34:46After the constant trauma that came from this, that rejection, I reached a point that I was done,
34:54done with my dad.
35:00My father and I had very little contact for two years.
35:05But then he reached out to tell me his health had taken a turn for the worse.
35:11When my father got sick, I said to him, if we're going to continue our relationship,
35:16it's going to be on my terms. I'm not keeping any more secrets. And he said, okay.
35:23I felt like this time, he knew that I wasn't playing anymore. Because now I'm grown. Now,
35:31I'm not holding on to this. I have children that are relying on my emotional well-being.
35:40And then in 2016, my dad went into the nursing home. He was having a hard time walking where his
35:49legs would just give out. So he would fall.
35:54He apologized for the way things had gone over the years. He was happy to see me.
36:02He looked fine. So I'm like, we'll come back again.
36:07Two weeks later, my father passed.
36:09She fell on the floor and she said, my heart is broken into a million pieces. I can't bear this.
36:23When my dad passed away, I was just devastated. I asked my father so many times,
36:29am I going to be able to come to your funeral? Then my father's first cousin reached out to me
36:35and she said, you don't have to worry. You're going to be at that funeral.
36:43I walked into church. My father's wife taps me on the shoulder. You know, she's like, oh, you,
36:49are you Heather? And I'm like, I'm Heather. You know who I am.
36:54She says, he never mentioned you to me. If, if, if he loved you, he, he would have mentioned you to me.
37:03And I said, I know my father loved me. He was there for me since I was a baby.
37:13I know him and I know him very well. Did it offend me? Absolutely.
37:21But I was no longer this child that wasn't going to say anything.
37:25You have pain. I have pain. This man that we both love, he calls us both pain. So I'm being
37:32sympathetic to you because you've lost a husband. You can't extend empathy because I've lost a father.
37:41And I could tell it bothered her.
37:42I never saw my father's wife or my half sister again.
38:00After the funeral, I learned that while my father was in high school,
38:04before he ever married, he had a son named Doug.
38:12Doug had a son named Calvin, who is my age.
38:18We never met until now.
38:25Hi, Calvin.
38:26I was shocked. I had an aunt I did not know about for 30 years. So it was very cool when we finally
38:32connected. Today was a really special day, but also sad that it was a secret for that long.
38:37It's almost as if we're cousins, right? Because we're the same age.
38:41I think it's really unfortunate because Heather was really isolated more than anyone else in our family.
38:46Meeting your dad in person for the first time, my brother, that was big. And now meeting you,
38:54this is huge. My father knew Earl had other kids. He just didn't know who all of them were. So,
39:02Heather is the secret that we know about. There might be others, and my money would be on others.
39:08She had a brother, she had nephews and nieces, and none of us knew that she existed.
39:15Hey, so good to see you. What's going on?
39:20I'm sad that I missed out on so many years with my family. Hey, mamas!
39:28But I'm happy that we now have this opportunity to get to be with each other.
39:32All right. This is my nephew, Calvin.
39:34Hi, Calvin. Hi, Calvin.
39:37Although my father's wife and daughter never chose to become a part of my life,
39:41his son and grandson and so many others did. Mommy's here. And I cherish that.
39:48I'm excited for my sister. Because, uh, it's definitely a healing. That's her focus. Healing,
39:56healing, healing. It's still a journey. But I told her all the time I'm proud of her.
40:04You make me feel like you're the big sister. And I'm the little sister.
40:07I hope my story helped people that have been born in adultery. There's still families out there
40:17that have this dynamic. And there's still a child that is a secret.
40:23Got some bubbly for us. It's our first drink together. I know. Ever.
40:42The secret pushed us away. But now that everything's out in the open,
40:48we can be closer than ever before.
40:55My memories of my childhood are very spotty. But this thing happening. My grandmother and
41:01my grandfather would tell me that the reason my skin was darker was that I tanned very easily. But
41:05I knew it had something to do with blackness. You put this hatred in his blood. I had no idea that
41:14anybody would be that evil. As a father, I felt that I failed him. I knew I would have to deal with this
41:20trauma that defines every aspect of my life. I had to confront it.
41:31You do not want to. I had to wait a little bit longer. But the time of my suffering is
41:36the one who was still alive. The pain is the same for the rest of my heart.
41:36I have to wait for you to get it. I did not do it anymore.
41:39I am not sure if I ate any of my heart since I was sick.
41:41I have to wait for you to take it. I know that you could be sick.
41:43I am sorry to take it. But the time I have to wait for you to be saying
41:44the most. I don't know when that happens.
41:45But the time I get the money I sell. I know. I would have to do it.
41:46But I see that. I don't know when I don't know. I don't know what's on my own
41:56in the way. I'm sorry. I've been thinking about my religion.
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