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Unlocked Family Secrets Season 1 Episode 4
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FunTranscript
00:00People often thought I had the perfect life, four beautiful children, a Hollywood actor
00:12for a husband, and a thriving career as a psychotherapist. But I was hiding a secret,
00:18something that happened to me when I was 16, a secret I hid from the world for more than 20
00:25years. To me, they are black excellence at its finest, the perfect family. In our family,
00:32you didn't talk about the secret. I can't imagine having to live that life. Zoe was gone. What's going
00:41on? That was a secret you took to your grave. I had done something so devastating that I needed to be put
00:48away. This is a common work or an interview. All right. So where does this story begin?
01:05I actually start my story at a transition part for me.
01:12When my daughter Sullivan was born, she was just the most gorgeous little girl I've ever seen.
01:21But I already knew the second she was born that something was wrong.
01:26First, it was just, can we keep this baby alive? Okay, now that we got this baby alive,
01:35what the heck is going on? And then the weeks of spending in the NICU and yet no answers at all.
01:42It was a big unknown. And then when she found out what was going on, she was heartbroken.
01:50Ultimately, Sully was diagnosed with a rare and incurable genetic disorder called
01:55Prader-Willi syndrome. I was told her development would be severely impacted.
02:00She would need 24-7 in-home care and she might not live past the age of 30.
02:06Part of me felt that God was punishing me, but the worst part was feeling like Sully was punished as
02:15a result of what I had done as a 16-year-old girl.
02:18Okay, who's going to be what?
02:25I'm going to be yellow.
02:26Kai's yellow, Sage is blue, I'm red.
02:29I'm Dr. Zoe.
02:31I have five children. My day-to-day life is busy. One, two, right now I have two kids at home.
02:40My 11-year-old daughter, Siggy, and my 18-year-old daughter, Sully.
02:44You're green, Sully. We have soccer on weekends and I'm a scout leader.
02:50The word is dreamland. Dreamland.
02:54I'm a psychotherapist, author, speaker, podcaster.
02:59Today, we're going to be talking about what do you do when life hits you out of the blue
03:06was something devastating. To come from where I was,
03:12keeping the secret for so long and being so ashamed, it's been hard work.
03:25To understand my secrets, you have to understand how I was raised
03:29in a prominent black family, the only black family, in rural Smithsburg, Maryland.
03:37So we're all about 18 months apart. Edward is the oldest. Zoe's the middle. And then I'm the baby.
03:46My mom was the most beautiful woman. She was a stay-at-home mom. She dedicated her life to us.
03:54My dad, Robert W. Hunt, he was the third generation of doctors in his family.
03:59My dad loved my mom so much. They met when my mom was 16. They got married when my mom was 18.
04:07I think by the time my mom was 21, she'd had all three of us.
04:16It was very strict growing up. We were only allowed to listen to Christian music in the home.
04:21We started going to a small church called Emanuel Chapel. There my parents transitioned into more
04:31fundamental Christianity. And so Christianity and morality and right and wrong became not just
04:39something that, you know, you did on Sunday for two hours. It was pretty much 24-7.
04:43In my family, being a good Christian was the foundation, but equally important was achievement
04:52because we come from a long lineage of black excellence.
04:56My great-grandfather, Gurney Holloway, he went to Harvard. He was an MD. And then Josephine,
05:05his wife. She was such a pioneer. At the time, they didn't allow black Girl Scout troops, so she
05:11started her own. Now they have a street named after her in Nashville, Tennessee.
05:17On my mom's side, the grandfather I'm named after was head of the biochemistry department at Meharry
05:22Medical College. One of my mom's sisters did some of the pioneering research on aspirin.
05:26My parents went to HBCU, and so I very much grew up in a prominent black family. Appearances,
05:35of course, were super important. It's always trying to dispel the myth of all these negative
05:42connotations of what blackness means in this country. 1989, I made the track team, ninth grade year.
05:57So I was smart and I was athletic, but when it came to my father, if I got a B, he'd be like,
06:04why wasn't it an A? If I won a track meet, you know, did you break a record? There was just an
06:10expectation of excellence. And then ninth grade was also when I met Vinny.
06:18Vinny was a baseball player. He had this barrel chest and engaging smile. And Vinny had also grown
06:29up in a fundamental Christian home. The way my parents received anybody in our lives was they
06:36didn't matter unless they helped us be better or didn't get in our way. And so he was just the
06:42boyfriend, you know, be good to her, make her happier. It's not going to be pretty.
06:47So I was, you know, now dating this 18-year-old college baseball player.
06:54And I was really excelling academically and in athletics. Colleges were already starting to reach
07:01out. I think my family and I had a lot of expectations that I would continue to do well.
07:09Until all of a sudden the train jumped off the rails.
07:15I was 15. All of my friends were very smart, academic, athletes. We were all going places. And
07:25I was pregnant.
07:32I started coming up here this summer between my freshman and sophomore year.
07:37I was able to cry. I was able to yell and nobody would hear me.
07:44I just felt like I needed to get away.
07:52My mom definitely warned me not to be that kind of girl who, you know, had sex before marriage.
07:59I was just so embarrassed and ashamed that I had made such a bad choice getting pregnant.
08:11And so I had the conversation with Vinny and his response was, well, you know, we can't keep it.
08:18It was an early fall morning. I was skipping school for the first time. Vinny drove up near the gym.
08:32And I came out of those doors and hopped in the car and we turned around and drove away.
08:43He was like, are you okay? I'm like, yeah, I'm okay. I wasn't okay.
08:46But what do you say when you're getting ready to, to, you know, have an abortion?
08:54I was taught that having an abortion was killing a child. But I went inside.
09:07There were other girls who were getting abortions.
09:11And there was a woman that gave us all these little blue pills.
09:15And she said it would just relax us before the procedure.
09:26Then she took me into the examination room.
09:33I laid on the table.
09:37The doctor came in and proceeded to do the ultrasound.
09:45And there was just something inside of me that just revolted.
10:02I just jumped off the table, put my clothes on, and I walked out.
10:06After that, I remember asking Vinny, are you mad at me? And he said, no, but you know, you have to tell your parents.
10:24I couldn't see a world where I could tell my parents.
10:28And so I didn't.
10:31I just continued on with my life.
10:32I started wearing baggy clothes and I had to hide my morning sickness.
10:39No clue.
10:40No clue whatsoever. Didn't know anything was different.
10:43I remember I was almost found out because track had started.
10:48And I took my sweatshirt off and my coach said, you're kind of out of shape, but we'll be fine, you know.
10:55And then my mom started seeing the different behavior.
10:58And one day she said, Zoe, are you pregnant?
11:05Even with her directly asking me, I could not tell her.
11:11And so my mom found this doctor.
11:13We had to drive far, someplace where no one knew us.
11:17And the doctor confirmed the pregnancy.
11:22And I remember my mom telling me, you can't stay home.
11:29This is a bad example to Yolanda.
11:33I had done something so devastating that I needed to be put away.
11:38The Liberty Godparent Home.
11:42Jerry Falwell founded this life-giving ministry that offers an alternative to the profit-motivated
11:48abortion industry.
11:49What type of girl comes here?
11:51We've had girls as young as 10 years old, up to 47.
11:57My parents donated heavily to Jerry Falwell.
12:00And so they devised this plan.
12:02I was going to have to go to this unwed pregnancy home in Virginia.
12:10This plan would be our secret, my parents and mine.
12:14And to keep it, they told everyone else a different story.
12:18My teachers, my track coach, even my brother and sister.
12:21It was Christmas break.
12:27My mom came up to my room and said, meet me in the car in five minutes.
12:35We leave the house.
12:37Edward's in the car, and we're just like, what, what is going on?
12:41So he's not coming?
12:42No, okay.
12:45We go to Hardee's.
12:47We were sitting in a booth, and my dad says that Zoe was having psychological problems.
12:58And that she needed to go away to deal with them.
13:03And if other people asked where she went, we were told to say that she decided to go to boarding
13:08school, and then that was that.
13:09I remember saying, can we visit her?
13:12And he said no, that it would interfere with her treatment.
13:17Growing up, you know, whatever my parents said was what was happening.
13:21So I didn't question it.
13:24The next morning, Zoe left.
13:29Walking into the home was like being transported back to the 1950s.
13:37I was terrified.
13:40I'd never seen so many pregnant girls at one time before.
13:44There were probably about 20 of us.
13:48We were housed in the same building, essentially, as the adoption agency that would take our children.
13:54We are an adoption agency.
13:56We have 100 applications from solid Christian families for every baby we have.
14:02Call that toll-free number.
14:06People back home thought that I was at boarding school.
14:09I wasn't aware of any rumors that were circulating about me.
14:15There was this girl saying that my sister was pregnant.
14:19And my mom told me to confront the girl for telling lies about my sister.
14:24So, on my 16th birthday, I was about six months pregnant.
14:33I found out that I was having a girl.
14:35And I came up with the name Kaya Embriel.
14:41I had a lot of fantasies.
14:44But I did get some letters from my mom.
14:48She indicated to me, if I were to keep my baby, that our relationship would change and I would lose my mom.
15:03My mother would have never picked a babysitter for me by looking at some pictures and an album.
15:09But here I am, eight months pregnant, picking parents for my child by looking at some pictures and an album.
15:23I remember one day, my mom was talking to somebody on the phone, frenzied.
15:30She gets off the phone.
15:32Zoe's ready to be discharged.
15:33I have to go pick her up.
15:36She left immediately.
15:39I was very relieved to see my mom.
15:48But I remember I had asked the nurse if I could have some, you know, medication.
15:55And my mom, she, she shook her head.
16:00Like, I deserve to experience this pain.
16:04But my Kaya.
16:06I birthed her.
16:11May 9th, 1991.
16:15It was late evening by the time I had her.
16:17And in the morning, it was time to go.
16:23I remember telling her that I couldn't keep her and that I remember, I'm sorry, I'm going to need to take a break.
16:31I told her she would have a good life and that that's what I wanted for her.
16:41And please don't hate me.
16:44I just left my baby upstairs.
16:50And I come down and my mom pulls around and it was a two-seater Pontiac Fiero red.
16:57Like, surprise, here's your new car.
16:59The license plate said Sprinter, which for me was just a reminder.
17:12Like, you're not a mother, you're a sprinter.
17:15And it just kind of hit me like it's, it's a two-seater.
17:19Like, there's no option of bringing Kaya home.
17:26I knew that my mom's main goal was to return me to my prior unburdened teenage life.
17:33These are pictures of me when I was at the birth home.
17:37We couldn't go home because I still looked pregnant.
17:41And so we went to a hotel and I remember in the middle of the night I woke up
17:49and I heard moaning and crying and it took me a few seconds before I realized that it was me.
17:58And that's the blanket that I crocheted for her.
18:00And the next day, my mom took me to go get some corsets, something to hold in my stomach.
18:13And my parents sent me back to high school.
18:21Basically, it was Zoe's back. I was like, oh, okay, great. Business as usual.
18:26Oh my God!
18:28Finny and I continued to go out and I pretended nothing had ever happened.
18:36I understood this is a very big secret that I have to keep.
18:42Maybe a couple days, a week later,
18:46Zoe literally just called me in the room and said, hey, I got to tell you something.
18:50And she showed me pictures of her, you know, big belly.
18:54She said, I had a baby.
18:56It was a big shock.
19:00At some point, I was snooping around in her room.
19:04I found pictures of her pregnant.
19:07I was just like, oh, I never said anything to her about it at all.
19:19In our family, you didn't talk about the secret.
19:22These are pictures that the adopted family sent to me.
19:30Vinny and I got letters the first year.
19:32And then they sent me this one, it says, dear birth mother, our baby is doing fine.
19:41She can say about five words, hi, bye-bye, mommy, daddy, and uh-oh.
19:46And closed are the last set of pictures we will be sending.
19:53Basically, we're going on with our life, you go on with your life.
19:56Getting that last letter was hard.
20:03I didn't realize the effect that it would have on me.
20:09Wow, I can't believe that my name is still here.
20:14100-meter hurdles, long jump, triple jump.
20:19That's cool.
20:22I poured everything I had into track.
20:26And it really helped with my grieving.
20:31What I learned to do was put up the facade of Zoe, local track star.
20:38Because what I wasn't was a mother.
20:51My relationship with Vinny was the only remaining connection that I had with my secret daughter.
20:58After I graduated, I made the hard choice to break up with him.
21:02I kind of wanted him to ask me to marry him.
21:05And I had wished that maybe he had, you know, done something to help me keep Kaya.
21:13But he didn't.
21:16What I didn't know at that time was that my father had confronted Vinny before Kaya was born.
21:24My dad basically told him, you know, look, we're not gonna mess up Zoe's life.
21:30And if you try to help her keep the baby, I'll get you prosecuted for statutory rape.
21:39That's why he never pushed it all to try to keep Kaya.
21:46In June 1993, just weeks after breaking up with Vinny,
21:50I was in Los Angeles competing for the junior national track team.
21:54My mom and I were walking along the city walk, Universal, and I saw this actor.
22:05His name was Stan Shaw.
22:07He was probably 41 at that time.
22:11I asked him for his autograph.
22:13We started talking and he asked me out to dinner.
22:16We went to eat and we really connected.
22:25And he asked me to marry him that night.
22:29I said yes.
22:30You know, it was one of those romantic moments where you get caught up.
22:39Ultimately, my parents were supportive.
22:42This marriage could bring stability to my life.
22:45Besides, I felt like I was damaged goods.
22:49And this would exonerate me.
22:50But I knew that I had to tell him the secret.
23:03I now present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Stan Shaw.
23:12Stan and I got married about a year after we met.
23:15June 1994.
23:17It was the wedding of the century in Hagerstown.
23:22Tom Luke was one of the groomsmen.
23:26Part of growing up in a very strict Christian home is shame over premarital sex.
23:33And, you know, the fix to that is to get married.
23:36So there was a sense of my past is behind me.
23:41You can go on and have a normal life despite the scarlet letter.
23:47But being married to this Hollywood actor,
23:53it was pretty overwhelming for a 19-year-old girl.
23:57I had to reconcile my secrets with Stan and figure out how they would impact our marriage.
24:03We had a conversation about Kaya before we actually got married.
24:09And he was just like, oh yeah, I'm fine with it.
24:12But our entire marriage, there was that unspoken, we're going to pretend like that didn't happen.
24:18I definitely worked on trying to be a perfect wife and that meant keeping the secret.
24:28Zoe, keep being yourself.
24:31I know you'll be a great wife and eventually a great mother.
24:42I spent my late teens and early 20s as a scholarship athlete at UCLA by day
24:47and a wife to actor Stan Shaw by night.
24:50I hope you enjoy your husband's film.
24:52From the outside looking in, everything seemed perfect.
24:56Especially after I got pregnant with our first child.
24:59I can remember thinking, she's going to have a baby that she can keep.
25:05We first met in birthing class.
25:08It was my first child and, you know, I thought it was Zoe's first child too.
25:13Sakiya was born in 2001.
25:19I remember feeling the irony of everybody being so excited and all the celebration.
25:27I was absolutely thinking about Kaya, who I had lost.
25:33Zoe was very attached to her baby.
25:36Nobody watched her baby, just her.
25:38And I even asked, like, do you need a break?
25:40And she goes, no, I just want to be with them all the time.
25:44Then I had Sage in 2004 and we had our two boys.
25:51But I didn't realize that I had such a deep-seated shame.
25:56And it wasn't until I had Sully that it all just kind of, kind of bubbled up.
26:02At 31, here I was with a daughter who would face incredible struggles for the rest of her life.
26:08On top of that, I had also never come to terms with the trauma of giving up my firstborn Kaya for adoption.
26:17So I had, for years, my Kaya suitcase.
26:21I kept the gown that I wore in the hospital.
26:24I kept the little onesie, her little cap, the pacifier, and her first bottle.
26:31It was my little shrine.
26:33What I didn't know was that at the same time I was grieving my lost daughter,
26:38she was out there pining for me.
26:46I play the what-if game all the time.
26:50I know my parents love me, but my life would be completely different.
26:55Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you.
27:05I was born May 9, 1991.
27:10You know, Sarah means princess, and I ran with that my whole life.
27:16Go, girl.
27:16I was the light of everyone's life.
27:19Just throw him a kiss.
27:20I was spoiled.
27:22Will you guys bail?
27:25Then probably around fourth grade, I remember my parents sitting me down and telling me I was adopted.
27:33They said that my birth parents loved me and, you know, they were just too young.
27:40But I always wanted to know more.
27:43So I am about 13, 14, being curious, being sneaky.
27:53I'm going into my mom's room and she had a box.
27:59And in the box, I see a bunch of letters.
28:06It's Zoe and Vinny writing me letters.
28:11I just sat for hours just reading these letters.
28:17There were some pictures of Zoe and her kids.
28:21And then I found a locket.
28:25Zoe wanted me to have the locket on my, like, 16th birthday.
28:31It said, I love you.
28:34It meant everything.
28:35I hid the letters.
28:40I just kept them.
28:41I felt closer, you know, to her just reading her letters.
28:48So it was April 2010.
28:51That's when I got the call.
28:54It was Vinny who rarely called me.
28:58He said, I have our daughter on the phone.
29:06When I got the call, I literally just dropped on the floor.
29:09And I was like, hi, like, I'm nervous.
29:14And she was like, oh, my gosh.
29:16We exchanged numbers.
29:18And we talked, texted.
29:21It was literally Zoe's kid found her.
29:23Her name is Sarah now.
29:25And she's in Hagerstown, Maryland.
29:28It was just like, oh, wow.
29:30I get a call from my sister.
29:33Up until then, Zoe had never told me about Sarah.
29:40I remember Zoe calling me out of the blue.
29:43I had a baby at 16 and gave her up for adoption.
29:46And now she's reached out.
29:48And I'm going to go to Vegas to meet her.
29:50Okay.
29:52Like, what?
29:55Up until that moment, I had acquiesced
29:58to all of the stories and secrets, right?
30:03That was my first moment of defiance.
30:10April 6, 2010, I was in the airport.
30:15And I was terrified.
30:17How do you prepare to meet your child,
30:19your adult child, for the first time?
30:22So I'm on an escalator going down.
30:25And instantly, I see her.
30:28And I'm like, oh, my God.
30:30I saw her at the top of the escalator.
30:32We just hug each other.
30:34It was like, it was just the two of us in the airport.
30:38I wanted to feel all these things.
30:41And I saw her tear up.
30:42And as beautiful and amazing as that experience was,
30:47I couldn't even cry.
30:49It was like a block.
30:52I felt that emotional shutdown that's been a survival skill for me.
30:57But we had a weekend together.
31:03And we'd shared 18 years of, you know, time that we'd been apart.
31:10I told Zoe, you know, I do forgive you.
31:13I understand.
31:16Life happens.
31:17And that's when I broke down.
31:21That's when I started crying.
31:24That fear that I had, she would hate me.
31:27None of that existed.
31:29She forgave me.
31:30There was a part of me that was worried that you wouldn't want to see me.
31:44Did you think about seeing me over the years?
31:49Of course.
31:50I mean, I was looking.
31:51I knew Vinny's last name.
31:53He put all the information in the letter.
31:56Last name.
31:57And they didn't cross that out?
31:59They did, but they didn't cross it out good.
32:00Yes.
32:04So I was at Morgan State in my dorm room.
32:07It was March, 2010.
32:10I was 18.
32:13So I hold the letter up to the light and instantly, clear as day, it said Brown.
32:20Immediately, I'm on Facebook looking up Vincent Brown.
32:25I click add friend.
32:26And then he instantly messaged me back.
32:29He was like, I think you're my daughter.
32:33Wow.
32:35The next day, we hung out for a little.
32:38And he was like, I have to call Zoe.
32:41I have to let her know.
32:42And then I heard your voice.
32:48Hi.
32:50It was like an angel.
32:52I fantasized about it for 18 years.
32:55I posted our trip on Facebook.
33:00And my mom was like, so you met Zoe?
33:05Like, but she wasn't mad.
33:08They weren't upset at all.
33:11After Vegas,
33:12I went back home and put that relationship in a box.
33:21She was still a secret.
33:24Once Sarah found Zoe, my mom wanted to just keep it within our nuclear family and not let all the aunts
33:31and uncles and cousins know, you know, hi, we've been living a life for the last 20 years.
33:37Over the next four years, my parents met Sarah and they developed a relationship of their own.
33:46My dad and I never had a conversation about Sarah.
33:50But my mom and dad would go visit her sometimes where she worked.
33:55One night, it was 2014.
33:59My grandparents came out to Texas Roadhouse in Hagerstown.
34:03My grandfather loved Texas Roadhouse.
34:05I was their server, so we sat and talked a little bit.
34:12They went home that night and he had a heart attack.
34:21The world shifted and everything changed when my dad died.
34:25The whole family was coming to the funeral and Zoe did not feel like she could continue to deny Sarah.
34:33I'm not going to keep this a secret anymore.
34:42When my dad died in 2014, immediately my thought was, well, Sarah's got to be there.
34:52I need to tell everybody about Sarah.
34:59And I remember saying to my husband, I didn't ask him.
35:02I made it very clear.
35:04I am telling my kids.
35:05I sat them on the bed and I said, you have a sister that I had a long time ago.
35:13And my kids' mouths dropped open.
35:19And I tried to broach the situation with my mom.
35:22And there was just no reaction at all.
35:25Obviously, my mom had an atomic bomb dropped in her life with her husband dying.
35:32And then she has to deal with, Zoe's going to tell the secret.
35:37That was a secret you took to your grave.
35:39And that was not going to be an option once Sarah came to the funeral.
35:43Zoe prepared me.
35:45She was like, nobody knows who you are.
35:47But you know, here we go.
35:59After the funeral, everybody came back to my house for the repass.
36:04And I brought her into the main living room where the entire family was.
36:08And I said, hey, everyone.
36:12I had a daughter when I was 16.
36:16I placed her for adoption.
36:19And this is my daughter, Sarah.
36:20I want all of you guys to meet her.
36:30Me being the secret, I never really processed it until I had to experience it firsthand.
36:35Like, oh, okay.
36:37I didn't know Zoe had a daughter, you know, your age.
36:41Yep.
36:43It was awkward, definitely.
36:45It was so overwhelming for me, I left the room.
36:49Everybody was enamored by, you know, the story of our family.
36:54And so the idea that one of us did anything that wasn't perfect was like, what?
37:00Huge shock.
37:07Huge shock.
37:08Huge shock.
37:08Huge shock.
37:11When you've hidden the truth for so long, once you start sharing it, it's hard to not continue.
37:19And the more I shared it, I healed.
37:23I've now written a memoir called Stronger in the Difficult Places.
37:27It's the same name as my podcast.
37:31In 2023, Stan and I got divorced.
37:36The beginning of the downfall of my marriage was me speaking my truth.
37:41But I'm convinced that the ramifications of not speaking are way, way more damaging.
37:49As for my children,
37:50Sully, you have one.
37:51Put it down so no one sees it.
37:53All five of them are doing well.
37:57I want to show you something real quick.
37:58Okay.
38:06I did not know that you had this picture.
38:12How did, did I give this to you?
38:13That was in the letter.
38:14Wow.
38:15Yeah.
38:16Wow.
38:16That was the last time I fed you.
38:20And right after that, that's when I, when I left you.
38:25So fast forward, I've been married to my husband for 11 years.
38:31I am a proud mother of four.
38:35Zoe named me Kaya Ambriel.
38:38So my first born daughter, I named her Kaya Ambriel.
38:42Oh, when you named her Kaya, it meant so much to me.
38:48How do you feel about our relationship today?
38:52I'm so thankful, but I want, I want more.
38:56I agree.
38:57I want more.
39:00Even though
39:03I didn't get to raise you, I'm so very proud of you.
39:13This is one of my favorite pictures of us.
39:14Yeah.
39:15Goodness, I look so young.
39:16Yeah.
39:18What a happy family we were.
39:22It was a sweet time.
39:23My babies.
39:28My family, all of us, continue to work hard to repair the intergenerational trauma
39:34that we've all suffered because of this secret.
39:37Mom, does this thing work?
39:39Especially myself, my mom, and Sarah.
39:44Do I need to have a deep conversation with my mom about it to fully heal?
39:50No, I don't.
39:55All behavior makes sense in its context.
39:57I fully understand the choices that my mom made, the choices that I made.
40:12I have thought about the decisions that my grandmother made.
40:15I'm going to stop it now or it will go forever.
40:17But she makes the effort to check on me and the kids.
40:23So I give her grace in that aspect.
40:27I'm happy with the way everything turned out.
40:30Regardless of how it happened, I'm okay.
40:35It was a very, very long journey.
40:38I went through some dark periods, but found myself and figured out how to
40:44really understand shame and heal myself and heal other women as well.
40:56I was told it's complicated.
40:58You wouldn't understand.
40:59Heather always asks, where's my dad?
41:01I think any child expects loyalty from their mother.
41:07I can't put it in words, but I failed.
41:09It was on my phone.
41:11I failed her.
41:12My father calls and he says, if an unknown number calls you, don't answer it.
41:17This is a secret I've been holding since I was a kid.
41:20Heather is the secret that we know about.
41:23There might be others.
41:24My money would be on others.
41:31Martin Martin
41:44I asked my mother for another.
41:46I don't know.
41:49extraordinaries
41:50Iron Man
41:50I haven't had mice on others.
41:51I had some Noob
41:53I haven't had any message afternoon.
41:53I don't know.
41:55astics
41:55time
41:56things
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