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00:00Night! Sandwich Night!
00:10Sandwich Night!
00:17Hey everybody, this is the Chris Getner Show!
00:47It's frickin' Sandwich Night!
00:50One, two, three, four!
01:17One, two, three, four!
01:47I'd like to welcome everyone, both in the studio and watching across the world, to Sandwich
01:51Night!
01:52Sandwich Night!
01:53Woo!
01:54Okay.
01:58Wow.
01:59So let me explain a little about Sandwich Night, which I think is fair to at this point say,
02:03the first annual Sandwich Night.
02:04There you go.
02:05There you go.
02:06So as everyone knows, it's the night before Thanksgiving.
02:10Most of our crew has gone home.
02:11So we were brainstorming the show.
02:12We said we don't have a crew.
02:13We're only going to have one person operating a camera.
02:15He's usually the guy directing the entire show.
02:16So what should we do?
02:17Something real low key, laid back.
02:18Let's just give everybody food.
02:19And we'll just take some calls, see what happens.
02:20Then last night, I'm talking to my good friend Shannon O'Neal.
02:23I'm like, well, what can you do?
02:24Oh, my God.
02:25He's the guy who's going to have a crew.
02:26We're all going to have a crew.
02:27And he's the guy directing the entire show.
02:28So as everyone knows, it's the night before Thanksgiving.
02:33Most of our crew has gone home.
02:34So we were brainstorming the show.
02:35We said we don't have a crew.
02:36We're only going to have one person operating a camera.
02:39He's usually the guy directing the entire show.
02:41So what should we do?
02:42Something real low key, laid back.
02:44Let's just give everybody food, and we'll just take some calls, see what happens.
02:48Then last night, I'm talking to my good friend, Shannon O'Neal.
02:50I'm like, what kind of food should we get?
02:51She's like, sandwiches.
02:52I'm like, sandwich night.
02:55We thought it was going to be a real laid-back thing, but we went on Twitter and talked about it.
02:59Now all these people are here.
03:05So to everybody at home, we want you to call in 212-757-1393.
03:11That's 212-757-1393.
03:14Call us up.
03:21All right, so I want to invite everybody who's here.
03:28Let's be orderly about it.
03:29But everybody, there's juice and drinks over here.
03:32There's sandwiches over here.
03:34If anybody needs suggestions on what ingredients, the human fish is right there.
03:37Ask them this.
03:38You know how he works.
03:40Human fish, right now, for me, turkey versus roast beef.
03:44Who wins?
03:46Wow, you were wrong.
03:48Whoever yelled turkey, you were just wrong.
03:50So let's get it.
03:51Everybody, let's get some sandwiches going.
03:53And let's see how sandwich night works.
03:56Here's another thing I want to say.
03:58This is the extent of the planning that we have done for this show.
04:02We are 90 seconds in.
04:03This is all we know about this show.
04:07So let's go ahead and see.
04:08Do we have any callers on the air?
04:11Caller, you're on the air.
04:12Welcome to the show.
04:14No calls.
04:15212-757-1393.
04:18Call us up.
04:19Talk about anything you want.
04:21Matt Mayer is just wandering directly in front of me while I talk directly to the camera.
04:26That's okay.
04:27People are allowed to go wherever they want, do whatever they want.
04:29Is there anybody who wants to come up here and talk to me about sandwich philosophy?
04:33You, sir.
04:34Hi.
04:34What's your name?
04:34Greg.
04:35Greg, how are you?
04:36Let's just face the camera.
04:37I'm Chris.
04:38How are you, buddy?
04:38So what kind of sandwich do you think you're going to go for a little later in the show?
04:41I'm going to go for something with salami, a lot of meat, you know, get some mayonnaise in there.
04:48Okay, let's come back and talk under the microphone, Greg.
04:50So you're a meat guy.
04:52You're going salami meat.
04:53What kind of bread?
04:55I see.
04:57You know, it's all good.
05:00Just no seeds.
05:01I don't like seeds.
05:01No seeds.
05:02It pisses me off.
05:02Now, are you a condom butter?
05:04Yeah.
05:04I got some cracked peanuts and I smoothed it over with some real peanut butter.
05:07Peanuts, peanut butter, marshmallow, banana, agave, nectar.
05:10How's that first bite?
05:11Oh, my God.
05:11Straight to camera.
05:12How is that?
05:12Oh, my fucking God.
05:13It's so good.
05:14Say whatever you want.
05:15That's another thing.
05:16You guys can curse all you want.
05:18All you want.
05:20I just became a man right now.
05:21You did.
05:21Oh, yeah.
05:22You did.
05:22You just grew a mustache.
05:23I'm just dressed.
05:24Well, congratulations.
05:25That sandwich, I would say, so far, my favorite.
05:27Who else wants to talk sandwiches?
05:29Lee?
05:31Okay, yeah.
05:31We'll get over to you, Shannon.
05:33You're up next.
05:34Lee, how are you?
05:34Welcome to the show.
05:35Friend of the show, Lee.
05:36Very good.
05:37So what do you have there?
05:37That's a weird-looking sandwich.
05:39I just kept it simple.
05:40I just took a roll, busted it open, put three slices of cheese in there.
05:43It's a cheese on a roll.
05:44And this is the first roll sandwich I've seen tonight.
05:46So we are breaking new ground.
05:47We have gotten to the rolls.
05:49There was no knives.
05:49There's nothing to handle the cheese.
05:50It was just like peeling it off a deck of cards.
05:52Yes, it was a poorly planned sandwich night, but I think we were having fun nonetheless.
05:56I love it.
05:56All right.
05:56Lee, thank you very much for your contribution.
05:58I'm going to go ahead and walk.
06:00I'm going to walk.
06:00We need a camera operator.
06:02So I would like to walk to Shannon.
06:03Shannon, I can't walk.
06:05I can't leave.
06:06If I walk, we are just off.
06:09Shannon, you can't come to us.
06:11Your sandwich is too big.
06:12So, J.D., follow me over here.
06:13Welcome.
06:14We've got this table set up.
06:16Shannon, let's talk about this because you brought your own ingredients and you kind of
06:18put them on the big boy table.
06:20Yeah.
06:20I went to Trader Joe's because I didn't want to eat any $2 pickle loaf.
06:24And I bought a nice focaccini bread with a little cheese on it.
06:29And under there is apple, Fuji apple, brie cheese, smoked turkey, and some organic mayonnaise.
06:38Now, there's a guy back there yelling, make me one.
06:39So, sir, sir, stand up.
06:41Stand up.
06:43Shannon, what does this guy have to do to get you to make him a sandwich?
06:47You have to fuck my mom.
06:50It's your first time at the show, sir, right?
06:52No, it's not.
06:53Okay.
06:53So you're familiar with Shannon.
06:55All right.
06:56Who else wants to talk?
06:57Sarah, let's head.
06:58You know what?
06:58We haven't even headed back to the sandwich table yet.
07:01Let's do it.
07:02Yeah, random, Andrew, if you could turn.
07:04Let's step aside a little bit.
07:05I don't know if I can be seen.
07:07Can I be seen?
07:08Because I want to make sure we get some shots of this beautiful spread.
07:11Is there anyone tonight who has eaten the pickle loaf?
07:14No one.
07:15Has anyone eaten pickle loaf?
07:16I'm so curious.
07:18Wait, the first ingredient of pickle loaf is mechanically engineered chicken or something like that.
07:23Who is willing to eat the pickle loaf on camera?
07:25You couldn't pay me money to eat pickle loaf.
07:28Where is it?
07:29Let's find the pickle loaf.
07:31What's that?
07:32Okay, this guy will eat pickle loaf.
07:34Anybody who wants to eat pickle loaf, come meet me up here.
07:38Don, find me the pickle loaf.
07:39No, I'll find you the pickle loaf.
07:40Random, Andrew.
07:40This is my high state.
07:42What does it look like?
07:45It's in one.
07:45It's like pink and green.
07:48It's buried in.
07:49Let's go ahead.
07:50Find that pickle loaf.
07:52Wow.
07:53Okay.
07:54So, who wants to meet?
07:56Yeah.
07:56Do you have any onions?
07:58No, I do not see any onions.
08:00Do you have any onions?
08:01No.
08:02I do not.
08:02I do not know.
08:03Do we have any onions?
08:05Pickle loaf.
08:05Thank you, Andrew.
08:06I don't know.
08:08Ladies and gentlemen, I did not know they were coming.
08:11Welcome back to the show.
08:13The Dolce & O'Conn Brigade.
08:15One of our greatest musical guests of all time has returned.
08:23Welcome back to the show.
08:24Dolce & O'Conn Brigade.
08:26Polo Vich.
08:28Polo Vich.
08:30Polo Vich.
08:32In the name.
08:33In the name.
08:34Of the Polo Vich Revolution.
08:36Of the Polo Vich Revolution.
08:39And the Dolce & O'Conn Brigade.
08:41And the Dolce & O'Conn Brigade.
08:43We are taking over the Chris Gazzard Show.
08:47Do not spread that on the crowd.
08:56We will get in trouble.
08:57This is not planned.
08:59The Dolce & O'Conn Brigade is staging a hostile takeover of Sandwich Night.
09:04Sandwich Night.
09:05Sandwich Night.
09:06Sandwich Night.
09:07Sandwich Night.
09:09Sandwich Night.
09:10Sandwich Night.
09:11Go.
09:11Sandwich Night.
09:12Sandwich Night.
09:14Sandwich Night.
09:17Sandwich Night.
09:24Sandwich Night.
09:41Hello everybody.
09:45It's Wednesday.
09:47November 23rd, 2011, the Chris Gavard Show.
09:58Fuck yeah.
09:59Onion, it's the underdog.
10:18Onion, it's the underdog.
10:23Onion, it's the underdog.
10:27Onion, it's the underdog.
10:33Onion, it's the underdog.
10:36Onion, it's the underdog.
10:39Onion, it's the underdog.
10:48Onion, it's the underdog.
11:00Onion, it's the underdog.
11:03Onion, it's the underdog.
11:09Onion, it's the underdog.
11:15Onion, it's the underdog.
11:18Onion, it's the underdog.
11:26This message does not apply to Lieutenant John Pike,
11:29the guy who pepper sprayed all those people at UC Davis last week.
11:33I hope that guy never has a happy Thanksgiving as long as he draws breath.
11:38He's a monster.
11:39All right, ladies and gentlemen, presidential candidate Conor Atlet checking in.
11:51We really hope he pulls some electoral votes.
11:55I want to apologize before we continue.
11:57I've been informed that our live stream is really spotty tonight, going up and down.
12:00We'll try to have that fixed for next time.
12:02What can we say?
12:03Sandwiches are very popular, and apparently the stream is crashing.
12:05So, we do apologize for that.
12:08In the meantime, Pickle Loaf, Rob Malone, world's greatest dancer, great friend of the show.
12:14In some ways, the heart and soul of the Chris Gethardt Show is embodied purely by your physical movements while dancing.
12:18That means a lot to me.
12:20Well, you say you're willing to eat Pickle Loaf.
12:22Well, what are you eating already?
12:24There's a lot of bread in this sandwich.
12:25This is just bread for the Pickle Loaf because it got into the sandwich.
12:28Okay.
12:29So, this is a baguette with noble ox and mozzarella cheese.
12:33Oh, that's good.
12:34This is, uh, I don't really know.
12:36I just threw a lot of stuff together when it started.
12:38Okay.
12:38So, are you a guy who eats stuff like Pickle Loaf?
12:40This is an ice cream sandwich.
12:41Oh, an ice cream sandwich.
12:42Great, great, great.
12:43A new layer to the sandwich night.
12:45So, let's go ahead.
12:46Have you ever eaten Pickle Loaf before?
12:48Never heard of it.
12:49Never heard of it.
12:50It does not look good.
12:51The first ingredient is listed as mechanically separated chicken.
12:56Let's just get a whole bunch on there.
12:57I think, yeah, feel free to just touch it with your fingers.
12:59I don't think anybody else is clamoring.
13:01I don't think anybody else wants Pickle Loaf.
13:03Let's just get as much as we can.
13:05Let's just grab a big hunk.
13:07Pickle Loaf.
13:07There we go.
13:08I think that's enough, right?
13:09Ladies and gentlemen, Rob Malone eats Pickle Loaf.
13:14I would eat it.
13:16You would eat it?
13:16Yeah, it tastes kind of like a special bologna.
13:19Special bologna.
13:20All right.
13:21All right.
13:22A rousing endorsement from world's greatest dancer, Rob Malone.
13:26Pickle Loaf is special bologna.
13:28Rob, thank you so much.
13:29Let's get rid of this.
13:30Let's go ahead.
13:31Noah Garfinkel and Joe Mandy are here, co-hosts of Totally JK every Thursday.
13:35Great stand-up night down at UCB Theater East.
13:38Welcome to the show, fellas.
13:40Joe, how are you doing?
13:40I'm all right.
13:41You're all right.
13:42Noah, I've noticed you sitting back there shivering, sweating.
13:45What's happening to you on sandwich night?
13:46I've never figured out what I'm allergic to food-wise, but I'm definitely allergic to something
13:50because every once in a while when I eat, I just start sweating.
13:53That's happening now.
13:54Well, all he eats is sandwiches, so I think you're allergic to sandwiches.
13:56So you're currently having, because you are, I can see up close now, profoundly sweaty.
14:02Yeah, yeah, I'm sweating a lot.
14:03Like, I don't feel good.
14:04Yeah.
14:06I feel bad, but the sandwich was really good.
14:10What was your sandwich?
14:10I just picked up things and put it on there.
14:14It tasted good.
14:15I think there was bologna.
14:16Okay.
14:17That's fair.
14:18I would guess salami.
14:19Definitely cheese.
14:23Now, Joe, at what point during your meal did you notice that Noah was reacting this poorly
14:28to a sandwich?
14:28It takes about seven or eight minutes before he just starts sweating on his face and asking
14:31me to help him out with a napkin.
14:33I want a napkin.
14:34I know Chipotle always does it.
14:36That's not a sandwich.
14:37No, it's not.
14:37We're figuring it out.
14:38Chipotle always makes you react like this.
14:40Yeah, oh, every time.
14:40So it's either meat or cheese.
14:43Welcome to the show.
14:44How can we help you?
14:46Hello.
14:47Yes, welcome to Sandwich Night.
14:48Who's this?
14:49Peter from Montreal, Montreal.
14:51Peter from Montreal.
14:53International caller.
14:55Welcome.
14:55They got smoked meat sandwiches.
14:58Safe to say I'm your most Canadian fan.
15:00Okay.
15:01And lamest fan.
15:02Well, what kind of sandwiches do you eat up in Canada?
15:06Mostly smoked meat.
15:08I've had those.
15:08Yeah, it's really disconcerting because I'm hearing myself, so I sound like a dart.
15:13Well, I apologize for that.
15:15I think the sound of your voice is very soothing and pleasant.
15:17You shouldn't be self-conscious about it.
15:20Well, yeah, thanks.
15:22Hey.
15:22Yeah, so pastrami, which is like smoked meat, except kind of better, I hear.
15:26Okay, well, I do enjoy smoked meat.
15:28I've had it.
15:29I endorse it.
15:29Good job, Montreal, on that sandwich.
15:30Now, how long did we make you sit on a hold?
15:35Around 40 minutes.
15:36And that's, you're paying international rates.
15:41Yeah, just about, yeah.
15:42So you just waited 40 minutes on an international phone call to tell us that pastrami is similar
15:48to smoked meat.
15:49That's dedication.
15:50We really appreciate it.
15:51Is there anything else we can help you with tonight?
15:53Yeah, I'd like to ask the human fish what's on his mind.
15:56Human fish!
15:56What is on your mind?
16:03Thanksgiving meals versus thank God it's Friday.
16:08Thanksgiving meals versus thank God it's Friday.
16:11Who wins?
16:13Thanksgiving meals.
16:14Thanksgiving meals.
16:17Human fish.
16:18Well, I'm glad to see that you guys like the human fish up in Canada.
16:21I think that means a lot to me and him.
16:23Yeah, we definitely do.
16:25Also Shannon.
16:26Shannon's pretty rad.
16:28All right.
16:28Well, is there anything else that we can help you with tonight?
16:31No, I'd just like to wish all of you Southerners happy Thanksgiving.
16:36That's what you call us?
16:38Do Canadians call Americans Southerners?
16:43Yeah.
16:43Yeah, we do.
16:47I've never heard that shit in my entire life.
16:50But thank you for the call.
16:51We all just learned something.
16:55All right.
16:56The LLC, our house man, is here tonight.
16:59Have you guys gotten sandwiches yet?
17:00You have.
17:01Now, how were they?
17:02Excellent.
17:03Okay.
17:03Excellent all across the board.
17:05Joe, what sandwich do you have right here?
17:06I just have a poppin' lemonade high C.
17:08A poppin' lemonade high C.
17:10You know, the LLC, I don't often make it all the way back to where you dwell in the show.
17:14I think you guys are the best.
17:16You don't get recognized enough on this show.
17:17Thank you for being here in the middle of this celebration known as sandwich night.
17:21I want to make that very clear.
17:22You guys are the, I think metaphorically, you are the bread of the show.
17:28You hold it together.
17:30All right.
17:31I'm going to head to the back corner.
17:33Ladies and gentlemen, I do want to reiterate.
17:35Horatio Sanz is operating a camera right now, which is amazing.
17:39It's amazing.
17:40Let's, yeah.
17:41After that, we need that.
17:42Right after that.
17:43Oh, should we go to that now?
17:45No, you can do this for me.
17:46Okay, because I want to talk.
17:47We all know Mimi, who's usually on the hula hoops.
17:50Now, Mimi, you are here in the back corner tonight.
17:54You are in our healthy food station.
17:56You brought all the healthy food.
17:57Yes.
17:57Have people been coming back here and visiting you and taking you up on that?
17:59Yes, they have.
18:00That's good.
18:00I have a whole, actually, I have a fan club on this side of it.
18:03Okay.
18:04All right.
18:04So what kind of things did you bring and why did you, you, you made it very clear.
18:08You were like, I don't want my shit anywhere near that shit.
18:10Yeah, what's up?
18:12So what's up with your stuff?
18:13Why is it better than that stuff?
18:15Well, I'm vegetarian, but that's not really why.
18:17If I were meat eating, I would be the same.
18:19Because the thing is, I made a lot of this stuff out of real food that you would get at
18:24a farmer's market.
18:26Okay.
18:26Or I bought things and I made them a little better.
18:28I bought bread from a bakery that you have to cut with a bread knife.
18:32I mean, you can.
18:32Wow.
18:33It's semolina, lizen, fennel bread.
18:36These concepts are all foreign to me.
18:38Well, why don't you just take a bite?
18:42Oh, no, you're going to make me eat health food.
18:45This is not, is this a sandwich?
18:48Yeah, just, just bite into it and bite it and chew it.
18:55Mimi, that's pretty good.
18:57I'll take it.
18:58I'll take it.
18:59All right.
19:01Well, right now we got a very special surprise.
19:03We have a very quick turnaround on something I'm quite happy about.
19:06Right there in the middle, you can see Mr. Random Andrew sitting there at that desk.
19:12Wow.
19:14Lukewarm applause, but at least it's applause now and not hatred.
19:17Now, Andrew, last week a girl called you up.
19:20Very nice girl named Rachel.
19:21She said she thought you were cute.
19:22She wanted to go out on a date with you.
19:24Our man Lee Kay, who's here at the show, big supporter of the show, great filmmaker,
19:28shouted out, take him to Pizza Hut.
19:29But I'm very happy to say that me, you, and Lee took, me and Lee took you on a blind date
19:35on Monday, took you to a Pizza Hut in New Jersey, and we have already edited the video.
19:41Let's everybody go ahead together, check out Random Andrew's blind date.
19:44Yay!
19:44We're taking Random Andrew and his date to New Jersey tonight, and here's why.
19:54I'm from New Jersey, and Andrew's from New Jersey.
19:58He'll have a little bit more comfort, a little more swagger.
20:01Random Andrew, he might mess up and say something off-putting.
20:04He might get nervous.
20:04And if we were in the city, she'd just go like, oh, I'm feeling tired, jump on the subway.
20:10We're in New Jersey, she can't leave.
20:13I know that sounds creepy, but it's true.
20:17Sync, please say a command.
20:19Call Random Andrew.
20:23Calling Random Andrew.
20:25Hell yeah.
20:28Hello?
20:29Hey, is this Random Andrew?
20:30Is this Random Andrew?
20:31I'm on my way.
20:33All right, sounds good.
20:34Now, how are you feeling?
20:35Are you nervous?
20:35Anything I can help you out?
20:36Because I'm here for you tonight, man.
20:38I'm your wingman.
20:39Yeah, I am pretty nervous.
20:41When you need me, I'll be there.
20:43Like, you're Frodo, and I'm Gandalf.
20:47This guy over there looks real good.
20:48Hi, everybody.
20:49You know, I've been on dates.
20:51I think I'm all right at it.
20:53Never a blind date.
20:55Well, I'm telling you, man.
20:56You roll with me, you listen to my advice,
20:58you're going to get significantly better at dating.
21:01Yeah, I really hope so.
21:02So, Andrew, I'm going to call her.
21:05Tell her to come down.
21:06You're going to go in my trunk.
21:08There's something there, a present I bought for you to give her.
21:11So, I'll call her right now.
21:13Call Andrew's future wife.
21:15Please indicate who to call by saying call and a name.
21:18Call Andrew's future wife.
21:21Call.
21:21Is that correct?
21:23Yes.
21:23Please indicate who to call by saying call and a name.
21:29Call Andrew's future wife.
21:31Please indicate who to call by saying call and a name.
21:35Call Andrew's future wife.
21:37Please indicate who to call by saying call and a name.
21:40Call Andrew's fu...
21:42Please indicate who...
21:43Redial.
21:51Hello.
21:53Are you Rachel?
21:53I'm Rachel.
21:54Hi, Rachel.
21:55I'm Andy.
21:55Alright, we're heading into New Jersey.
21:57Have you ever been there before?
21:58I have been to go to Newark.
22:00Been to go to Newark?
22:01Yeah.
22:01What was in Newark?
22:02Uh, for the airport.
22:03Oh, that makes a lot of sense.
22:04Where are you from?
22:05Texas.
22:06Oh, so Cowboys fan?
22:07I mean, it comes on the TV.
22:09That makes sense.
22:10That's fair.
22:11I mean, that's how I feel about the Giants.
22:12You know?
22:13I'm more of a Steelers fan.
22:15Yeah?
22:15Yeah.
22:15Why?
22:16Do you have any, like, connections?
22:17Uh, because my brother used to play for the Steelers.
22:20Really?
22:20Yeah.
22:21Wow.
22:22Yeah.
22:22My brother is a sign maker, so.
22:25Oh, a sign maker.
22:26Yeah, he makes signs.
22:27Okay.
22:27He doesn't play football, so it doesn't really compare.
22:30Oh.
22:30They say if you are BFA, right?
22:32Yeah.
22:32Yeah, they say if you're BFA, then you're fine to, uh, like, you don't need like a master's.
22:37Oh, that smells like money.
22:38Yeah, that's a lot of money.
22:40Hopefully it'll be a good Pizza Hut establishment.
22:42I'm pretty sure I've been to this one before.
22:43Actually, I think the last time I was there, and there was this big motorcycle accident
22:51that we saw happen.
22:52This guy was turning to get off an exit, and he just slid off.
22:55How are you?
22:56How do you feel up, man?
22:58Good.
22:58I mean, I was making good conversation, right?
23:02No.
23:02No, man.
23:02I got some advice for you.
23:04You're yapping like a crazy person.
23:06Yeah, right.
23:06I talk so much.
23:07You talk so much, bro.
23:09No one's talking for a bit.
23:10Is that okay?
23:11That hasn't happened one time.
23:13Stop bringing up death so much, man.
23:15Yeah.
23:15I don't know how that keeps happening.
23:16Why did you do that?
23:17I just, because I remember...
23:18You told her I had been to this Pizza Hut.
23:20I saw a man die here.
23:21No, I said he didn't die.
23:23You get her the breadsticks.
23:24You get her the large drink.
23:26You get her sides whenever she wants, man.
23:28We won't tell her that I'm paying, but you go to town, man.
23:30You keep this lady right.
23:31All right.
23:32Okay, great.
23:35This whole campaign is based on people can't afford their rent, and it's called The Rent
23:39Is Too Damn High, Cartier.
23:41It's fun.
23:42It'd be nice.
23:43Yeah, it'd just be convenient, too.
23:44Yeah, just be able to bust out another language.
23:47Yeah.
23:48Okay.
23:49Then we'll do...
23:50All right, we're going to do a medium pizza.
23:53We would like pepperoni vegetables that we chose.
23:58When you get nervous, do you know you do this?
24:02Touch your face.
24:03You keep touching your face every time you get nervous.
24:05Yeah, let's just have it, I guess.
24:06Yeah, it's okay, man.
24:07We've all got those things, but I would kill you at poker.
24:09We're on your own turf, man.
24:11This is Jersey, okay?
24:13So you've grown up here, too.
24:15You know what I mean?
24:16Right down this road is this blah, blah, blah, blah, blah that we used to blah, blah, blah.
24:20That's what it was like growing up around here.
24:22I can't imagine what it was like growing up in Texas.
24:24Oh, really?
24:25Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
24:26Yeah, yeah.
24:27You're really funny.
24:30Yeah.
24:32When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore.
24:46When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine, that's amore.
24:51Okay, so, Random Andrew, Rachel, I want to thank you for going along on this date, this adventure.
25:01From afar, it looked like you probably had a good time.
25:04I hope you did.
25:05Random Andrew, I'm going to ask you to walk Rachel to her door.
25:09I know, this might be awkward, I'm just going to put it on the table.
25:12It's been a very friendly, platonic date so far, and that's great.
25:15That's all this is, that's perfectly fine.
25:18Random Andrew, if you're going to pull the trigger, the trigger got to get pulled soon.
25:22It's fucking weak.
25:33It's a fucking weak ending.
25:37What the fuck happened there, man?
25:38What do you mean?
25:39I had you all set up for the fucking smooching.
25:42But first of all, there's a camera.
25:45Yeah.
25:45And it's just the first date.
25:47Random Andrew.
25:48I know that, you also got to think as a cast member of this show, man.
25:54That would have been a great ending to this video, and now the ending's just me yelling at you.
25:58I guess that's true, you're a very nice boy.
26:01Yeah.
26:02Yeah, mom says don't do that on the first date.
26:05Now stop bringing up your mom on dates as well, by the way.
26:08Did I bring her up on this one?
26:09You brought her up at least six times.
26:12I'm sure we could do a little mini montage of you bringing up your mom.
26:15Probably that could be the ending of our video right there.
26:18Yeah, my mother's mostly depending on me for the children, because no one else in our family wants them.
26:22My mom needs to be a grandmother.
26:24Yeah.
26:26But, um...
26:27So what are you studying?
26:30What's your major?
26:30Acting.
26:31Oh, you're an acting major?
26:32Yeah.
26:32Oh, excellent.
26:39Random Andrew, thanks for going on that date.
26:41Did you enjoy it?
26:42Did you learn?
26:43It was a really nice night.
26:44I learned a lot.
26:44I've never been on a blind date.
26:46I've never been on a film-recorded date.
26:49Now, seeing yourself on a date, are you going to change some of your dating habits?
26:52Yeah.
26:53Yeah.
26:54I'd get to work on that, bro.
26:55I'm going to talk more about dad.
26:58I'm going to balance...
26:59No?
27:00I don't think that's the solution.
27:01Ladies and gentlemen, random Andrew.
27:03And thank you very much.
27:05Let's go ahead.
27:06How are you doing tonight?
27:07I'm doing great.
27:08How are you?
27:08I'm good.
27:09Now, did you have a sandwich?
27:10I did have a sandwich.
27:11Now, what was on your sandwich?
27:12My sandwich was a whole wheat bread with Nutella and bananas.
27:16That's a great sandwich.
27:17Did you enjoy it?
27:18It was a delicious sandwich.
27:20I saw the Nutella, and I knew I was going to go for it the minute I sat down.
27:24Okay.
27:24That's great.
27:25Congratulations.
27:26Thank you for coming to the show.
27:27No problem.
27:28Hi.
27:29Did you have a sandwich tonight?
27:30I did.
27:32Same with her with the Nutella.
27:34I saw it.
27:34I made a beeline.
27:35How many people had Nutella tonight?
27:37All right.
27:38Okay.
27:38All right.
27:39I'm going to do a little dessert.
27:40A reasonable, reasonable question.
27:41A dessert-type sandwich.
27:42So, I just had some Nutella on white bread because it was the closest thing to me.
27:46Okay.
27:46And I had a little marshmallows on the side.
27:49Okay.
27:49That sounds good.
27:50Let's go to the phones.
27:51Do we have a caller on the air?
27:53Hi.
27:54Who's this?
27:55This is Jess.
27:56How are you?
27:57What did you want to talk about tonight?
27:58Um, I guess sandwiches.
28:02Yeah, that seems reasonable.
28:03So, what did you want to say about sandwiches?
28:05I think that sandwiches are pretty great and that I think what you guys are doing is really cool.
28:11This is my second episode of the Christmas art show.
28:14Okay.
28:15And I think it's really funny.
28:17Well, thank you.
28:17A few more episodes and you'll learn how to pronounce my name.
28:22Could have been worse.
28:23Could have been a lot worse.
28:24Thank you for watching the show.
28:25I had to, I had to.
28:26It was just sitting there for the taking.
28:28We really appreciate it.
28:28Where are you from?
28:33Sorry.
28:33Sorry I made that joke.
28:34We have another call.
28:36Caller, you're on the air.
28:36Welcome to the show.
28:38Hi.
28:39It's Alyssa.
28:40Alyssa!
28:42Checking in with Alyssa.
28:45Checking in with Alyssa.
28:46Alyssa, what's up?
28:48So, Alyssa, welcome back to the show.
28:50You're our 16-year-old fan.
28:51You call in.
28:52You let us know what it's like being 16.
28:54How are you doing?
28:54What did you want to talk about tonight?
28:55Before you say a word, Shannon O'Neill is all the way on the other side of the studio for me.
29:00Shannon, if you say anything inappropriate to Alyssa, I don't even think there's a mic there.
29:04No one can even hear it, so just don't do it.
29:06Alyssa, what's up?
29:08Um, well, first of all, I've never wanted to be at one of the shows more than this one tonight.
29:14Wow.
29:14Because that, uh, it just looks so much like so much fun.
29:17And also, I think that one of the sandwiches that is most underrated is the breakfast sandwich.
29:23And that is my favorite type of sandwich.
29:26Fantastic call.
29:27Call of the night.
29:28You're right.
29:29What kind of breakfast sandwiches do you go for?
29:32Um, either a hard roll or an English muffin with egg, cheese, and either bacon or ham.
29:39Woo!
29:40Woo!
29:45Alyssa, Shannon's making her way over here.
29:47She wants to make, she wants to ask you a question about sandwiches.
29:49Shannon, as long as you promise me that this is actually about sandwiches and only sandwiches,
29:53you can ask a question.
29:55Alyssa, is that okay with you?
29:57Yes.
29:59Alyssa, have you ever had a sandwich, a sylph sandwich?
30:03A sandwich I'd like to fuck.
30:04Okay, okay.
30:06Alyssa, I apologize.
30:08I really apologize for that.
30:10That should not have happened.
30:11I should have been smarter.
30:13I knew better.
30:14To be fair, stop high-fiving Shannon, everyone.
30:17To be fair, I kind of knew that was going to happen, but that one was grotesque, even particularly
30:22for...
30:22That one, we can all agree, that one wasn't even, like, the most well-crafted.
30:27Yeah.
30:28Well, Alyssa, thank you for the call about breakfast sandwiches.
30:31How's everything else?
30:32How's school?
30:33You psyched to have a couple days off?
30:35Um, yeah.
30:36Actually, I only had a half day today, but my mom let me stay home, so I didn't even go
30:39in today.
30:39Hell yeah.
30:40That's a good mom.
30:41That's a good mom.
30:42Your mom lets you take half days, lets you stay up and call this nonsense show.
30:45That's a good mom.
30:47Yeah.
30:47Great.
30:48Well, anything else you want to talk about?
30:49Um, not really.
30:51All right.
30:52Well, thanks.
30:53Thanks for the call.
30:54Enjoy your Thanksgiving.
30:55I hope you have a sandwich and think of us.
30:57Happy Thanksgiving.
30:58Yeah, you too.
30:59Let's get back here.
30:59Let's stand up, sir.
31:00What's your name?
31:02Ben.
31:02Ben, welcome to the show.
31:03Did you have a sandwich tonight?
31:04I did.
31:05How was it?
31:06What kind of sandwich did you have?
31:07It was good.
31:07I had some...
31:08I also had some Nutella.
31:09It was my first time having Nutella in my life.
31:11Wow.
31:12Look at that.
31:15Cherry's night.
31:16Cherry's night.
31:17Cherry's night.
31:18Cherry's night.
31:19Cherry's night.
31:21Cherry's night.
31:22So we popped your Nutella cherry tonight.
31:25Now, how'd you like it?
31:27Well, there's been so much hype, like, throughout my whole life.
31:30You've heard all about it.
31:32It's been built up so much, but I did like it.
31:34Okay.
31:35It's like chocolate.
31:36All right.
31:37It is.
31:37It is.
31:38I'm glad you had that new horizon.
31:40Let's go ahead, sir.
31:40What's your name?
31:41My name's Evan.
31:42Hey, this is Gene.
31:45Evan, hold on.
31:46Random Gene just decided to just interrupt you.
31:48Random Gene, welcome to the show.
31:49How are you?
31:50I'm good.
31:51I'm in Hollywood right now.
31:52I just missed a barn.
31:54I'm about to see Morrissey.
31:55You're going to see my favorite artist, Morrissey, and you're calling to rub it in.
31:59Thank you for...
32:00Thank you for...
32:01It's really...
32:02It's awesome.
32:03I can't wait.
32:03Well, he's about to go on maybe like 10, 15 minutes.
32:06That sounds good, Gene.
32:07Thank you for calling and rubbing it in.
32:09I know what you're up to.
32:10The point is proven.
32:14Hello?
32:15Yeah.
32:17Hey, how are you guys?
32:18Happy Thanksgiving.
32:19Hey, happy Thanksgiving to you too, Gene.
32:21So did you have anything you wanted to say about sandwiches?
32:23What did I say?
32:25All right, Gene.
32:26It was really great talking to you.
32:27I'm sure I'll talk to you on Twitter and email, and we'll talk to you soon.
32:32Okay, we'll talk to you later.
32:33Yeah, it's really loud where you are, and we got all these people amped up about sandwiches,
32:37so we got to move on, but thank you for the call.
32:39All right, bye.
32:40Bye.
32:41So, Evan, I apologize.
32:42You're going to fill us in on what sandwich you had tonight?
32:44Yeah, well, I saw like a huge crowd over there, and I didn't really want to go through
32:48that, so I just went over there to Hula Hoos.
32:51So you went with Mimi?
32:52Yeah, I went with Mimi.
32:53Okay.
32:53And I didn't even know what was in the sandwich.
32:55It was just so fucking delicious.
32:56Delicious.
32:57Nice.
32:57Kudos to the chef.
32:59Kudos to the chef.
33:00Well, thank you.
33:01All right.
33:02You didn't let me make it.
33:03Like, you had all these sharp knives, so like, I didn't want to get near there, but...
33:05So, Mimi, you make the sandwiches for people.
33:07Yeah.
33:08It's not like this, like, feeding frenzy of people just like...
33:11That's scary.
33:12I didn't want to be near that.
33:12Yeah, yeah.
33:13I'm making sandwiches for people.
33:15All right.
33:15Well, Evan, thank you so much.
33:16Let's go ahead.
33:17What's your name?
33:18Welcome to the show.
33:18I'm Nick.
33:19Nick, what kind of sandwich did you have tonight?
33:21I had a peanut butter and jelly.
33:22It's my favorite.
33:23A classic.
33:23What kind of bread?
33:25Whole wheat.
33:25Whole wheat bread, peanut butter and jelly.
33:26Can't go wrong.
33:27Absolutely not.
33:27How was it?
33:28It was delicious.
33:29All right.
33:30I piled it in.
33:30It was great.
33:31All right.
33:31Do you like more peanut butter or more jelly?
33:33More peanut butter.
33:34Absolutely.
33:34Wow.
33:34Absolutely.
33:35Okay.
33:36There was no milk, though, so that was too bad.
33:37No milk.
33:38I made it with Capri Sun.
33:40Well, there is eggnog.
33:42Eggnog's a little...
33:43I'm kind of with you on that, man.
33:45I'm kind of with you on that.
33:47All right.
33:47Is there anyone who has...
33:48Right now, I'm just randomly going up to people.
33:49Is there anyone who has something burning that they want to get off their chest regarding
33:52sandwiches?
33:54What's that?
33:55Okay.
33:55Alex, welcome.
33:57Good to see you again.
33:58Old pal of mine.
33:59Welcome to the show.
34:00Sorry about the chaotic set tonight.
34:02I'm glad.
34:03Let's go ahead.
34:03Let's get down to the nitty-gritty.
34:05So, my friend Jack and I brought two ingredients.
34:07Yeah.
34:08The first was Nutella.
34:09We went around and asked, and almost everyone in the room had it.
34:12We were wondering if anyone had our second ingredient, which was a can of sardines.
34:17Sardines.
34:17Did anybody have sardines?
34:19No.
34:20If I could comment...
34:21Yes, please.
34:22Come here.
34:22Come here.
34:23So, do you know this man?
34:24I don't.
34:24You don't know this guy, but he has something he wants to say about your sardine.
34:28Sir, what's your name?
34:29Peyton.
34:30Peyton.
34:30So, you take issue with the sardines.
34:32Right.
34:32I kind of got an idea of what kind of spread was going to be on this table coming in here.
34:37And I was getting excited.
34:38Then all of a sudden, almost like from on high, I had a vision of what my sandwich was
34:43going to be.
34:44Okay.
34:44And it was going to be a bologna and sardine sandwich.
34:49Yeah?
34:49And I was over there for 20 freaking minutes, and I couldn't find the sardines.
34:53Let's find some bologna.
34:54Let's find some sardines.
34:55Because Peyton needs to eat.
34:57We don't have much time left.
34:59I don't know how much time we have left, but it's my mission, Peyton, that you have
35:02a bologna and sardine sandwich before this happens.
35:06Three minutes?
35:06We've got three minutes.
35:07We've got the sardines.
35:08Peyton, let's get over there.
35:09Noah Garfinkel, are you okay?
35:11Seriously.
35:12You feel better?
35:13Okay.
35:15All right.
35:15Hello.
35:16While they're making that sandwich, how are you guys tonight?
35:18Yes.
35:18All right.
35:19What kind of sandwiches did you have?
35:20I had potato chips.
35:24You had potato chips on the sandwich?
35:26Yes.
35:26Now, how was that?
35:27It was really good.
35:28It was, like, savory and sweet.
35:30Okay.
35:30And there was, like, a little richness from the Swiss, like a thing.
35:33Is that a standard move of yours, potato chips on the sandwich?
35:34No, I just thought I would go for it.
35:36It was what was in the area.
35:37Well done.
35:38And what kind of sandwiches did you have tonight?
35:40I'm a vegetarian, so I had cucumber and cheese sandwiches.
35:42From over there?
35:43Yeah.
35:43Or did you go back to the room?
35:44No, I didn't know she was doing it.
35:45Yeah, I wish I had done that.
35:46Look at that.
35:46Yeah.
35:47We've got less than 90 seconds.
35:48Let's get those sardines in Peyton's mouth.
35:52Ladies and gentlemen, can we blow it up?
35:54Can we blow it up?
35:55Sandwich night!
35:56Sandwich night!
35:57Sandwich night!
35:59Sandwich night!
36:00Sandwich night!
36:01Sandwich night!
36:01I want to thank everybody.
36:03We have Sarah.
36:04Payton, Payton, Payton!
36:05Oh, my God.
36:13Your breath smells like fucking shit, bro.
36:1630 seconds?
36:17I want to thank everybody for watching the show.
36:19I want to thank everybody in this room tonight.
36:21We did it!
36:23We did it!
36:24We made Sandwich night happen.
36:28Everybody, check out thechriskeathershow.com.
36:30Thank you, M&S.
36:31Thank you, LLC.
36:31Thanks, Marquette.
36:34Everybody, it smells all.
36:35Well, thank you, Peyton.
36:36Say goodnight to the people.
36:38Good night.
36:38I love you all.
36:39I love you.
36:40Peyton, I've never met you.
36:41Who are you?
36:42I'm a man.
36:43You're just a man.
36:45That's fair.
36:46That's fair.
36:47I'm a man.
36:48You smell so bad right now.
36:49I'll never wash his mouth again.
36:51How was that?
36:52How are the sardines?
36:53You know, they're all good.
36:55All right.
36:55I'm a big fan of, like, salt and sick of fish.
36:59You're going to be a good old man.
37:00I will.
37:01One day.
37:01You're going to be a good old man.
37:03I can't get a lot of experience.
37:05I think that's good.
37:06All right.
37:07Come to the show.
37:08Thank you for doing that.
37:10All right.
37:11Hey, Brent, a.k.a.
37:13Swaggout, what kind of sandwich did you have tonight?
37:14I didn't have a sandwich.
37:15What?
37:16Yeah.
37:16Why not?
37:17I ate earlier.
37:20Oh!
37:23Oh!
37:23You ate before you came to sandwich night?
37:29Yeah.
37:29What did you think this was?
37:32Fucked up.
37:37Good night.
37:38Live stream.
37:39Sorry that the stream was up and down tonight.
37:41Sorry about the stream going up and down.
37:43We'll fix it.
37:43I promise we'll fix it.
37:45We love you guys.
37:46Have a great night.
37:47Happy Thanksgiving.
37:48Enjoy the holiday.
37:49Your families.
37:58Happy Thanksgiving.
37:59Happy Thanksgiving.
38:04Happy Thanksgiving.
38:06Happy Thanksgiving.