- 3 months ago
During World War II, a commander finds himself stuck with a decrepit (and pink) submarine, a con man executive officer, and a group of army nurses.
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00The
00:30¶¶
00:59It was the morning of June 3rd, and life aboard the Sea Tiger was just as always, snug.
01:06I can't breathe!
01:07Estoy volviendo loca.
01:09Me ahogo, Major.
01:10Me ahogo.
01:12Major, you're speaking Spanish again.
01:14Oh, yes.
01:18I've got to get out of this underwater broom closet.
01:22We're not mermaids, we're nurses.
01:24The sardines have it better.
01:25Of course, as submariners, we were used to close quarters, but it was quite a hardship
01:30for the nurses, and their nerves got more frazzled each day.
01:41The next sailor that pinches me is going to get clobbered.
01:44It is not natural to live like this.
01:46I need more room to move around.
01:48Has anybody seen my hairbrush?
01:53I need sky, air, trees.
01:58The new shirt.
02:04Oh, we've got to get off this submarine.
02:07I'm going to go speak to the captain.
02:08Good idea.
02:09I'll put this laundry up and join you.
02:10Oh, uh, Captain, could we have a moment alone?
02:15Excuse me.
02:16Excuse me.
02:18Excuse me, Captain.
02:19It's all right.
02:22Yes, of course.
02:24My quarters be all right?
02:25Fine.
02:28Captain Kahn, sonar reports ship noises.
02:3115,000 yards and closing.
02:32Mr. Watson, take her up to periscope depth.
02:37Sorry, Lieutenant, can I have a rain check?
02:39Sure.
02:45All right, what do you have, Mr. Watson?
02:47They're over a dozen ships, sir.
02:48All right.
02:52It's a Japanese task force.
02:56Down scope, left full runner, hold periscope depth.
02:59Aye, aye, sir, down scope, left full runner, hold it.
03:02Periscope depth.
03:04Radio, Kahn, message to SYNC-PAC fleet.
03:08Have sighted enemy force and give our position.
03:12Aye, aye, sir.
03:17Mr. Watson, take over.
03:20Let us know when cylinder has us clear.
03:22Aye, aye, sir.
03:25Oh, Captain, I would like to...
03:27I would like to also, but later.
03:28What's wrong, guys, sir?
03:33Uh, wires are wet, sir.
03:34Everything blue.
03:34We must have sprung a leak somewhere.
03:38Control room, this is the captain.
03:40Have all compartments checked for leaks.
03:42We're...
03:42Soap?
03:47Later.
03:57Later.
03:57Lieutenant, next time you wash your clothes, I suggest you take them off first.
04:21I can't believe I did that.
04:22Oh, sir, please help me.
04:25I must have put too much soap in the laundry machine, and I can't turn it off.
04:38Who is soft-soaping whom?
04:41Captain, Kahn.
04:42Sonar report's all clear.
04:44The radio is still out, sir.
04:47Oh, Mr. Watson, this is the captain.
04:50Take her up and set our course for the nearest transmitting station.
04:53We must get this information to fleet headquarters.
04:56Yes.
04:59Oh, Captain, I'm awfully sorry.
05:03Later.
05:04Later.
05:06Oh, what happened?
05:07Don't ask, just mop.
05:09Oh, I didn't get to speak to the captain yet, did you?
05:11Oh, Lord.
05:13Broad daylight, sir.
05:14It's a big chance.
05:16Well, it's a chance we'll have to take, Mr. Watson.
05:18Our batteries are drained.
05:19Oh, Nick, you've got to help us.
05:20We can't stand up being cooped up like this.
05:22We've got to get off.
05:24Mr. Holden, why don't you talk to the captain?
05:26You're so good at convincing him into things.
05:29Talk him into taking us somewhere.
05:30Well, no.
05:30Anywhere.
05:31I'm not real sure this is the right moment to talk him into anything.
05:34For one hour.
05:34Okay.
05:35One hour.
05:35I'll try.
05:36Yeah.
05:36I'll try.
05:37I'll try.
05:37I will try.
05:38Now, just relax, okay?
05:39Okay, please.
05:40Please.
05:40Okay, take a pill.
05:41Please.
05:41Relax.
05:43You too.
05:53Captain, we can talk to you.
05:54It's about the nurses.
05:55Not now, Mr. Holden.
05:57Engine room.
05:58This is the captain.
05:59Chief, we're going to have to make better time.
06:01With the radio out, it's up to you.
06:03Aye, aye, sir.
06:04I'll give her all she's got.
06:05Very well.
06:07Really, sir, the nurses are beginning to show severe signs of claustrophobia, and I feel
06:11that it is imperative that they get off this boat, even if it's only for a short time,
06:15perhaps on some passing island, saying it.
06:17Strictly for therapeutic reasons, I assure you.
06:20Thank you, Dr. Holden.
06:21And I guess you'd like to be in charge of this therapeutic mission?
06:25Well, once again, sir, you made another fine guess.
06:28Sir, really, I mean it.
06:29Now, if you don't do something about those girls, there's going to be a big blow-up.
06:35What'd I tell you?
06:36Engine room, bridge, report.
06:39This is Dooley, sir.
06:40The engine exploded.
06:41The chief's hurt bad.
06:42Nurses to the engine room on the devil.
06:45We're dead in the water, sir.
06:48Don't worry, chief.
06:49Maybe Major Hayward can fix it.
06:51Major Hayward?
06:53I'm here, chief.
06:54Let me through.
06:55Let me through.
06:56He needs me.
06:57Oh, watch him.
06:59I'm sorry, Sam.
07:00Just relax.
07:01How you doing, Sam?
07:02I'll be doing fine as soon as this lead-fingered female gets out of my engine room.
07:06It'll be all right.
07:08His head is hurt and his hands are burnt, but his tongue survived.
07:13Any idea what the damage is, chief?
07:16I don't know.
07:16Do I have a chance to take a closer look, captain?
07:18Looks like a charcoal briquette with a thyroid condition.
07:22Okay, let's get him to sick bay right away, girls.
07:25Watch your hands.
07:26Okay, slow.
07:27Watch his hands.
07:29He'll be out of commission for a while.
07:31Uh, let me take a look at the engines.
07:32Maybe I can help.
07:34Oh, no.
07:34No, not her, skipper.
07:35Don't let her look at the engines.
07:37Easy does it, chief.
07:37I'll keep an eye on him.
07:39Just keep this she-major away from my engines.
07:41I told you, women on board are bad luck.
07:45I think he loves me.
07:50Bridge, engine room.
07:51This is the captain.
07:52Uh, what's our position?
07:54We're drifting, sir.
07:55Thank you, Mr. Watson.
07:57Where?
08:00East, sir.
08:01We're drifting east.
08:03Oh, that's great.
08:03We should make California just in time for the next war.
08:06I'm sorry, Captain, but we're not going anywhere without a new fuel pump.
08:15It's shattered.
08:16I could have, uh, Hunkle put in a requisition board, sir.
08:18Sorry, Dewey.
08:19Oh, I'll just pick one up in Los Angeles.
08:21It'll be faster.
08:22Well, you are the supply officer, Mr. Holden.
08:26Hey, now, wait just a second here.
08:28Now, I am a procurement artist, not a magician.
08:31You get me to land, and maybe I can cook up something, but out here in the middle of
08:34the Pacific?
08:35Forget it.
08:36Captain!
08:37Captain, it's land!
08:38We've sighted land!
08:42Divine providence, Mr. Holden.
08:44You're on.
08:45Thanks, Major.
08:52Dooley, you don't think we're bad luck on board, do you?
08:57Ha, of course not.
08:58Let her go ashore?
09:06That's my job, Captain.
09:08And I'm not letting her fix my engine.
09:10It's the way she fixed me up.
09:11All right, Sam, take it easy.
09:13I'll get us a fuel pump, and I'll get us...
09:15Watch out!
09:17Okay, come on.
09:18I'm sorry, Sam, you're grounded.
09:19Major, may I talk to you for a moment, please?
09:21Yes, sir.
09:22All right, look, I'd like to ask you a favor.
09:24I'd be glad to go with Mr. Holden, Commander.
09:26Oh, great.
09:27But I have a small favor to ask of you.
09:29What's that?
09:30I would like my girls to come along.
09:33Oh, come on.
09:35Now, Commander, if they don't get off this sub and breathe some fresh air, they're going
09:39to go bonkers.
09:40I didn't have anything to do with this.
09:44All right.
09:47Get moving.
09:49Come on.
09:49Landing party leaves immediately.
09:55We'll be back soon, Sam.
09:58Come on, girl.
10:00Sky, trees, air.
10:02Women.
10:03The way they're taking over, soon they'll be running the war.
10:06Who knows, Sam?
10:08They've been running things that might never have started.
10:10Look, look.
10:27Is it?
10:29Yeah, okay.
10:30Excuse me.
10:37Excuse me.
10:38Okay, Major.
10:39Tell us.
10:40What do you got?
10:40Well, I think we're in luck.
10:42One fuel pump coming up.
10:45Beautiful.
10:46Beautiful.
10:46Okay, Major.
10:47Go to work.
10:48The rest of us are going to scout the area, see if there's anything else we need.
10:50All right?
10:51Okay.
10:52Let's go, ladies.
10:53Good luck.
10:53Uh, wrench.
11:01Wrench.
11:03Flyers.
11:04Flyers.
11:05Wipe.
11:06Wipe.
11:07Screwdriver.
11:08How long will it take?
11:09That depends.
11:10On what?
11:11On when I get the screwdriver.
11:13Screwdriver.
11:16Fresh air.
11:18Oh, trees.
11:19Sky.
11:20Oh.
11:23As they say in the movies, alone at last.
11:28I'm all getting in.
11:29Oh, yeah.
11:45Girls!
11:46Come on, girls!
11:47Girls!
11:47Come on, girls!
11:53Well, hi.
11:59Hi!
12:00Going our way?
12:01Yeah!
12:02Where'd you all come from?
12:03U.S. Army Corps.
12:04Oh, this is up.
12:05Ladies, ladies, ladies.
12:06Ladies.
12:07Ladies, first things first.
12:09You got a radio on this thing?
12:10Well, sorry, pal.
12:11I conked out when I sat her down.
12:12It was a pretty rough landing.
12:13What happened?
12:14Well, the stabilizer was acting up.
12:16I had to fix it before I could go on.
12:18This looked like as good a place as any.
12:19I didn't expect hitchhikers.
12:21Oh, where are you headed?
12:22I'm ferrying this crate to Fort Moresby.
12:24Fort Moresby?
12:25Oh, could you fly us out of here?
12:27We're Army nurses stationed on a pink submarine.
12:30Yeah.
12:30Pink what?
12:31Well, it's a long story.
12:34Now, ladies, I'm sure the lieutenant is long overdue and has to be on his way, so let's just...
12:38Oh, but we'll only take a minute.
12:41Please?
12:42Oh, come on.
12:44Well, it will be a little tight, but I think if we all squeeze together, we might make it.
12:50Oh, please!
12:51Well, look at this!
12:53We've got a fuel pump!
12:56And we've got a ride!
12:57Major, the lieutenant is going to fly us out of here!
12:59Oh, how wonderful, lieutenant!
13:01It's like you've come down from heaven.
13:03And I've got to be getting back up.
13:05Let's go, ladies.
13:06Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute.
13:08Didn't they tell you we've got some unfinished business?
13:10I've got to jury-rig this fuel pump.
13:11I've got to pack!
13:12And we've got to go back to the house.
13:13We can't leave.
13:14Can I have to say goodbye to the captain?
13:16Okay, okay, but you'll have to hurry.
13:18I've got vital information, and I'm due at zero to 200 hours.
13:20We'll hurry, okay?
13:21Girls, ladies, nurses.
13:23No, wait, wait.
13:25Let's talk about this.
13:26Hey!
13:28Well, Malumfrey, we didn't do too well.
13:30We won one and lost five.
13:40Any sign, Mr. Watson?
13:42Uh, yes, sir.
13:43Here comes the raft now.
13:44Malumfrey is holding up something.
13:46Sir, I think we've got ourselves a fuel pump.
13:49That's not all we have.
13:50Who's that with him?
13:51Looks like a fly voice, sir.
13:54Well, either Mr. Holden's going to have to stop going ashore,
13:57or I'm going to have to start building a guest wing.
14:02I soon found out, however, that instead of a guest wing,
14:05I was going to need a vacancy sign.
14:07As Mr. Stovall took the pilot below to get something to eat,
14:11I was surprised to discover
14:12I had mixed emotions about the nurses leaving.
14:15Well, we'll be installing this fuel pump as soon as possible.
14:21Good.
14:22Sooner the better.
14:22And, uh, I understand that you're leaving.
14:24Yes, Captain.
14:26I thought you'd be happy.
14:27Oh, yeah.
14:28I am.
14:28I am.
14:29It's, uh, it's just that, well, uh,
14:31I, uh, was so sudden,
14:32I didn't have a chance to, uh, prepare myself.
14:35But we're not dead, Captain.
14:37Just leaving.
14:39Sir, you can't let him leave.
14:41I mean, what if the fuel pump goes out again?
14:43Oh, Captain, the Major's going to teach Chief Malumfrey
14:46all he needs to know until Chief Tostin is on his feet again.
14:50What about Chief Tostin?
14:51Who is going to get him back on his feet, huh?
14:53We've taken care of that, Captain.
14:55The acting pharmacist mate, Williams.
14:57Williams?
14:58Sir, you've got to be kidding.
14:59The other day I told him I had a headache
15:01and he asked me where it hurt.
15:02Oh, the Major's making sure he knows what he's doing, sir.
15:07Sorry, Nick.
15:10Well, Mr. Holden, it looks like they've taken care of everything.
15:13Well, sir, no.
15:14There is one more point to consider here.
15:16What's that?
15:17Their safety.
15:19Safety?
15:20Yes.
15:21Now, I thought we had problems.
15:23You ought to see that plane.
15:24It is a beat-up, broken-down old wreck.
15:27And I really think that for their own good,
15:28you ought to consider...
15:29Now, look, the nurses are going to leave.
15:31We know they have to leave.
15:33We're all going to miss them,
15:33but we just have to get used to it.
15:35To accept it, that's all.
15:37Do you see what I just said to you?
15:48Yeah.
15:48You hooked that gizmo there
15:50to that whatchamacallit.
15:52Right.
15:52How much longer, Major?
15:53Oh, we're almost through.
15:55All we have to do is add this doodad
15:56to that thingamajig there.
15:58Let me know when you're finished.
15:59I'll be up on the who's it.
15:59Yeah.
16:00Here you go, Lieutenant.
16:03Oh, thanks.
16:06And those girls are about ready, Lieutenant,
16:07and I've got to be going.
16:08I'm way overdue.
16:09Oh, yeah.
16:09They're going to be here pretty soon.
16:11Now, I just need you to sign this paper.
16:13Sign right there, there, and there.
16:16Okay.
16:17What, uh...
16:18Oh, no, really.
16:18No, this is just routine.
16:19This is transfer papers here.
16:20Just sign them there, there, and there.
16:23All right.
16:23Now, come on.
16:24There's no need for that.
16:24You don't have to...
16:25These aren't transfer papers.
16:30These are custody papers.
16:33What?
16:34For five psychiatric patients.
16:40Whoa.
16:41So they are.
16:42Look at that.
16:44I'll be...
16:44It must be a misprint.
16:46Yeah, well, I'll just have Hunkle type it up later.
16:48He'll fix it up.
16:49But if you'll just go ahead and sign it right there, there, and there.
16:51Look, I know.
16:52Lieutenant, I'm not signing anything
16:53until I find out what's going on here.
16:57I told the captain it wouldn't work.
17:00What wouldn't work?
17:04Trying to hide the truth about the girls.
17:05He was afraid he wouldn't want to take them.
17:08But they're nurses.
17:11They were nurses.
17:13In their minds, they still think they're nurses.
17:16The fact is, they cracked up.
17:17They couldn't take it anymore, you know.
17:19It happens, the war.
17:21You see, we were on our way to the hospital at Port Moresby.
17:26And since I was going to Port Moresby,
17:28you thought you could pawn them off on me.
17:31Look, the captain would kill me
17:33if he found out I told you about this.
17:35But frankly, they're driving us bananas.
17:38You don't know what it's like.
17:39I mean, most of the time, they act pretty normal, right?
17:41But sometimes...
17:44Violent?
17:46Very.
17:47Thanks for the tip, pal.
17:49I owe you one.
17:51So long.
17:53Hey, wait a minute.
17:53You're not going to leave me with a certain problem.
17:54No, no, you can't do that.
17:55They're driving us crazy.
17:56Lieutenant, I got...
17:57Lieutenant, please, I got...
17:58Uh, sorry, Captain, but I've got to take off right now.
18:01Well, the nurses are ready, Lieutenant.
18:03Oh, yeah.
18:03Well, uh, about the nurses, sir, uh,
18:05I sympathize with your problem,
18:07but I just can't take five psychos on an airplane.
18:10What?
18:10I mean, what if they...
18:11You know...
18:13What are you talking about?
18:14What's going on here, Mr. Holden?
18:16Well, sir, uh, the word must be out.
18:19I mean, it must be Lieutenant Crandall.
18:20You can't blame him, can you?
18:21I'm sure the blame will find its way back to you, Lieutenant,
18:24where it usually belongs.
18:25Me, sir?
18:26I'm surprised.
18:26What do you have here?
18:27That's nothing.
18:28It's nothing.
18:28It's just...
18:29It's somebody's idea of a joke.
18:31Mr. Holden.
18:32My, oh, my, oh, my.
18:34Here we go again.
18:36Lieutenant, I'm afraid there's a misunderstanding here.
18:39No one is unbalanced on board my boat,
18:41with the possible exception of Mr. Holden here.
18:44The nurses, I can assure you,
18:45are as sane as you or I.
18:48Are you absolutely sure, Captain?
18:49Trust me, Lieutenant.
18:50We're all set, Lieutenant.
18:52Major, you don't have to have an extra girdle for me, do you?
18:56You think I'd forget you?
18:58Oh, thank you very much.
18:59Just in case the other one wears out.
19:01I really appreciate this.
19:02Sure.
19:03He's a wonderful person.
19:04Hi.
19:07Sir, can you use me, Captain?
19:08Oh, yeah.
19:09Hey, thanks.
19:10Ah!
19:13Hey, wait a minute.
19:14Captain, I'll...
19:16Well, Captain, this is it.
19:34Well, Major, I can't say it hasn't been interesting.
19:39Take care, Captain.
19:40You too, Major.
19:41Good luck.
19:42Thanks.
19:46Engine room, bridge, report.
19:53It blew up, sir.
19:54What, the fuel pump?
19:56No, sir.
19:56I think it was a piston.
19:58A piston?
20:02Can you fix it, Malumfrey?
20:04No, sir.
20:05I don't know anything about pistons, just fuel pumps.
20:08Well, try.
20:10Try, Malumfrey.
20:11Why did it have to happen now?
20:19Why?
20:19Can he fix it?
20:20I don't know.
20:22Maybe.
20:22Maybe Williams left Austin well soon.
20:24It'll all work out.
20:25They'll get by somehow.
20:27Right.
20:28They're big boys.
20:30Maybe if I just take a quick look.
20:34Yeah!
20:36Ave Maria Burisima!
20:37I can't believe I'm doing this!
20:39Oh, my God.
20:41Sorry, girls, but I gotta go now.
20:44Sir, the pilot's taking off without the nurses.
20:46Does this mean we're gonna be stuck with the nurses again, sir?
20:50Mr. Watson, how are you at fixing pistons?
20:59Captain, don't you think it's just a little too convenient that a piston happened to go out just like that?
21:04You know, Mr. Holden, I was about to ask you the same thing.
21:07Finally, the Sea Tiger was once again underway.
21:15The piston was fixed, the radio was fixed, and our information had been sent to fleet headquarters.
21:20The only problem remaining was the nurses' claustrophobia.
21:24You ready, Mr. Holden?
21:25Oui, I am ready.
21:26Ladies, you may enter.
21:31Come on!
21:32What is it?
21:33What is it?
21:34Come on.
21:37Voila!
21:38I am finished!
21:41Now I can do something I've always wanted to do on a submarine.
21:45What's that?
21:46Sleep with the window open!
21:47Du Pont.
22:07I am finished!
22:10Bye!
22:11Bye!
22:11Bye!
22:11Bye!
Comments