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Gogglebox Season 26 Episode 8
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FunTranscript
00:00I'll play a little tune for you now, if you know it, sing along.
00:05Going to the chapel and we're going to get military.
00:13Going to the chapel and we're going to get military.
00:17Have anybody say that you're milking this?
00:23Well, it's not every day you get engaged.
00:27Well, that's the idea.
00:30What's the world?
00:34Her flabbers have been gassed.
00:36You want some of this?
00:38Oh, that is!
00:39Look out!
00:41Oh, Steve!
00:42Oh, now there's a controversial statement, the gravy.
00:47Yeah!
00:48Do you like this music?
00:49No, not particularly.
00:50So suck on that!
00:52Oh, wow!
00:53He's been a bad boy!
00:55Don't ever take me to a restaurant like that.
00:57Not a chance, Julie.
00:58Ooh!
00:59Yes!
01:00Look at that!
01:01That's a McAllen.
01:02She's got taste.
01:04Whoa!
01:05For a banana?
01:06This is insane!
01:08Well, thank God that's over.
01:09I've got a headache on.
01:10It is like putting chicken in a vodka tonic, this.
01:14That's very modern, isn't it?
01:16Nothing. No one saw that coming.
01:17No.
01:19In the week Claudia and Tess announced they were leaving Strictly, we enjoyed lots of great
01:25telly.
01:27Celebrity fingers were being pointed on BBC One.
01:30Who are the initiators of the discussions that lead to people getting five, six, seven votes
01:37around this table?
01:38And the person who seems to be most skilled at that is you, Joe.
01:44The spiel, what some of these are saying, it's just like, you're 100% far away from your
01:50own arse.
01:51Yeah.
01:52Than picking a traitor.
01:53You're miles off.
01:54We've got more idea all the traitors are than they have.
01:57Well, yeah, because we know the bastard are.
01:59Oh, yeah.
02:03A major member of the royal family was in the hot seat again.
02:06Tonight's announcement is a further punishment for him.
02:09He will have been under intense pressure from the king.
02:12Have you seen how many legs that horse has got?
02:16They're two horses, aren't they?
02:17Oh, are they?
02:18How did the royals just get up to some weird shit?
02:20Yeah, yeah.
02:21That's how much privilege they have.
02:23They ride eight legged horses, bastard.
02:26And there were more spooks and ghouls and freaks and fools on Discovery+.
02:31There's a male's energy here.
02:33It makes me feel really uncomfortable.
02:35I feel quite sick, if I'm honest.
02:39I feel there would have been...
02:42One of my ghosts, do you think I'm just going to be a happy ghost?
02:45No.
02:46Mira, I'm scared.
02:47I'm really concerned.
02:48Wait.
02:49When you become a ghost, you're just going to be there, like...
02:52Yeah, I'll be reading my Kindle.
02:54As a ghost?
02:55Yeah.
02:57Like, you're such a bo...
02:58Even as a ghost, you're boring.
03:00Even in the afterlife.
03:01If I was to haunt someone, it'd be you.
03:02You have no character.
03:03You'd be the only person at home.
03:05How do you have no character in the afterlife as well?
03:07In Durham.
03:08It's beautiful.
03:09Isn't it stunning?
03:10It's gorgeous.
03:11How does it feel to be engaged?
03:12It feels phenomenal.
03:13Best friends Abby and Georgia.
03:14I'm actually a fiancé.
03:15Is Josh a fiancé too?
03:16We are.
03:17Are you both fiancés?
03:18Like, that's my fiancé.
03:19Or is there a boy and girl version of it?
03:20I think they're both the same.
03:21Are they?
03:22Fiancés.
03:23You got engaged and I went and got a violeta mop.
03:24For me kitchen floor.
03:25On Saturday night, it was business as usual back in the ballroom of Georgia.
03:27I'm actually a fiancé.
03:28Is Josh a fiancé too?
03:29We are.
03:30Are you both fiancés?
03:31Like, that's my fiancé.
03:32Or is there a boy and girl version of it?
03:35I think they're both the same.
03:37Are they?
03:38Fiancés.
03:39You got engaged and I went and got a violeta mop.
03:43For me kitchen floor.
03:50On Saturday night, it was business as usual back in the ballroom on BBC One.
03:55Ready for Strictly?
03:57Ooh.
04:00Ah, let's go.
04:03Right, sit down, otherwise you're going to knock them lines over.
04:06I can firmly say Strictly's in my top three TV programmes.
04:11Is it?
04:12Yep.
04:14Da, da, da, da, da.
04:16Oh my God.
04:17No!
04:18Da, da, da, da, da.
04:20What?
04:21I don't like fresh orange in mine.
04:23It's a bellini.
04:25Shut up.
04:26You get what you're giving.
04:30Dancing the Rumble, Harry Akins Arete and Karen Howe.
04:34Harry Akins Arete, a.k.a. Nitro from Gladiators.
04:38He's my favourite.
04:39I bet he is.
04:40Bet he got his chest out.
04:42No, no, no.
04:43Sleeves are definitely off.
04:44APPLAUSE
04:45Here we go.
04:47Come on.
04:48It's going to be very touchy-feely, this is.
04:50It's going to be a lot of this going on.
04:52Yeah.
04:53What a song Nitro's dancing to.
04:54Must have been love but it's over now, Roxette.
04:55I bloody love this song.
04:56Oh, look at Harry.
04:59Oh, fucking hell.
05:00Ah.
05:01He got sleeves but no buttons.
05:02Yeah.
05:03Yep.
05:04Look at her with hands all over his abs.
05:05She's getting too tactile now with Nitro, isn't she?
05:06I suppose she's finding it difficult not to.
05:07Keep her hands off him.
05:08Oh, hello.
05:09Look at his footwork, not his top half, Jane.
05:10Okay, look further down.
05:11Nope.
05:15Make sure we're right down.
05:16And all you're wrong, I don't like the footwork.
05:17Look at, look at the footwork.
05:18Look at the footwork.
05:19He's looking for the footwork, not his top half, Jane.
05:20And all you're wrong, I don't like the footwork.
05:21This is the footwork.
05:22This is the footwork, I think.
05:23That's the footwork, don't I think.
05:24And then I'm...
05:25He's got sleeves but no buttons.
05:26Yeah.
05:27Yep.
05:28Look at her with hands all over his abs.
05:31Look at his footwork. Not his top half Jane. Okay, I'll look further down. No make sure right down
05:42Oh my god, I wondered where we're going then. Bloody hell
05:48You wouldn't come up
05:51What time is it seven o'clock just gonna have a sip of my chilled wine Simon
05:55Oh
06:00Very good very sensual indeed. It's just sexy sex on legs a sex on legs
06:11Oh, but it's over
06:18God he picked her up like she was nothing nothing. Oh yoi yoi
06:23Steady Eddie. It's just so powerful, isn't it? He's probably not used to treating
06:31Things with delicacy because he's in gladiators. He's used to being brutal
06:36And now he's been given a sort of piece of Ming China to handle with care
06:49Well Nigel to do that for me
06:53And it's over now
06:55And it's over now
06:57And it's over now
06:59It's over now
07:01Golden Dennett
07:03Unnecessary
07:05I mean this is a couple of wrong moves away from an Ofcom meltdown
07:09Oh
07:17I'm gonna pretend this cushions nitro's chest
07:19They're new get your muggy face off it
07:21I'd be a bit lower down if I was a
07:23Shirley
07:25What?
07:27Oh
07:29Face well
07:31Come on men
07:33I'm not the only woman that thinks that
07:35You don't know it's not even after watershed you know this
07:37I know
07:39Parading around like that with half the clothes undone
07:41You're only jealous
07:42I know
07:43He leads
07:47Right are you up for the next paddle match?
07:49I am up for the next paddle match
07:51What are you gonna play again? For real?
07:53Yeah
07:54When we're playing
07:55Oh my gosh
07:57Best friends Danielle and Daniella
07:59I feel like we could make a really good pair for paddle
08:01I feel like we could
08:03Because we're both competitive
08:04We both like to win
08:05And we've got power
08:07And like just call us Serena and Venus
08:10Do you know what I mean?
08:11I'm Serena
08:12I'm Serena
08:13No I'm Serena
08:14No I'm Serena
08:15No I'm Serena
08:16I think I'm Serena
08:17No
08:18You're definitely Venus
08:19I'm Serena
08:25On Sunday night Bradley Walsh's collection of clever clogs were back on ITV
08:30The Vincent
08:32I wouldn't like to verse her
08:35Vixen
08:36She gives us really bad vibes
08:38They're not Vixen
08:39Vixen
08:40I'm usually cooking tea
08:42And I can hear it
08:43Because Steve watches it
08:44And I'm cooking tea
08:45And I shout at the houses and he goes
08:46How did you know that?
08:47And I go
08:48I just don't know
08:49I know because you're watching the repeat
08:55That is
08:57First quiz show engaged
08:59Is it?
09:01Fucking hell
09:02A lot of firsts today
09:04Oh here they are
09:06The Dark Destroyer
09:09You could be the static
09:10Your name
09:12The static?
09:13Why?
09:14The static caravan
09:15Shag Mario
09:17Shag Mario
09:18And how you say
09:19The Vixen
09:20The beast
09:21Shag shag shag
09:22And
09:27Whoa whoa whoa whoa
09:28What do we have here?
09:29Oh we got a mystery
09:30Who's that?
09:31Boy George
09:32My name
09:34Is Maverick
09:35Listen Tom Cruise's career is taking a different turn now
09:38British television
09:39You don't think
09:40Suppose it's at Schofield
09:41Do you think?
09:42Phil Schofield
09:43Phil Schofield
09:44And why are you called Maverick?
09:45Because I'm a lone wolf
09:47Can you talk in your gimp mask?
09:49No
09:50I don't have to
09:51And I was named after my nan and grandad
09:56Maeve and Rick
09:58I know it is
10:00It's a cricketer
10:01Oh
10:02Flintoff
10:03Yeah
10:04That's all it is
10:05Flintoff
10:06It does look like the guy that used to be in the bill
10:08How can you tell that's a guy in the bill
10:09He's got a face like that
10:10I can tell by his eyes
10:11By his eyes
10:12Are you mental?
10:13No
10:14Do that
10:15Do that
10:16You've got to know it's me
10:17I'm sat here
10:18Do that
10:19In the episode
10:20We join one of the contestants
10:22Who was about to face down a few chasers
10:24Good luck
10:25Good luck
10:28Oh God I hope they're easy questions Simon
10:31Come on Jane
10:32Come on chasers
10:33No Rose
10:34Don't root for the chasers
10:35I'm not watching it if you're going to root for the chasers
10:37Boksy
10:38Your clock starts counting down
10:40Now
10:41What is the female equivalent of an uncle?
10:43Anne
10:44Aunt
10:45Correct
10:46I got one right
10:47Well done Dan
10:48Well done
10:49Boksy
10:50Pre-nuptial means before what ceremony?
10:51Oh one for you there
10:53What first name linked British comedians Clifton and Winters?
10:56Don't know
10:57Bernie
10:58Bill
10:59Bernie
11:00Bernie
11:01Bernie Winters yeah
11:02Bernie Clifton
11:03You're not as quick as me lad
11:04You're not as quick as me
11:05Bernie
11:06Correct
11:07She's good isn't she?
11:08She's really good she's smashing it
11:09What disease is also called Scarlatina?
11:10Scarlat Fever
11:11Scarlatina Scarlat Fever
11:12Scarlatina Scarlat Fever
11:13Yeah
11:14Malaria
11:15German measles
11:16Scarlet Fever
11:17It's called Scarlatina the name's the clue's in the name
11:20Has she ever seen Goodnight Mr Tom?
11:22Scarlet Fever I was going to say that
11:24Oh you didn't
11:25Chasers
11:26Which Black Panther features in The Jungle Book?
11:28Morghly
11:29No no no no no no
11:30Bagheera
11:31Bagheera
11:32Bagheera
11:33Bagheera
11:34Jenny
11:35Bagheera
11:36Correct
11:37Wow
11:38Come on this is going to go down to the wire this
11:40Chasers who created the sock puppet lamb chop in the 50s?
11:43Oh
11:44Sherry Dixon, Sherry Dyson, Sherry Nixon, Sherry somebody or other
11:50Sherry Lewis
11:51Sherry Lewis
11:52Maverick
11:53Sherry Lewis
11:54Correct
11:55Good knowledge
11:56I'm doing it for them
11:58I don't want them to win
11:59Correct
12:00What the hell did he say?
12:01Horrors
12:02Bokesy what fashion brand makes boss one underwear?
12:05Hugo Boss
12:06Hugo
12:07More
12:08Oh my god
12:09Come on you gotta give it to her
12:10Boss
12:11Correct
12:12Oh
12:13Oh
12:14Chasers
12:15One other time
12:16Oh
12:17She done it so
12:18She's got
12:19Ah
12:20She's got it
12:21Before we go
12:22The biggest question on everyone's lips is who is behind the mask?
12:28Get the mask off
12:29Get it all off
12:30No just the mask
12:31Gordon Ramsay
12:33Why is everything to you always Gordon Ramsay?
12:36I know
12:37I know it's him
12:38Freddie Flintoff
12:39Freddie Flintoff
12:40Yeah I know it is
12:41Oh
12:44Hang on who is it?
12:45It's Freddie
12:49Oh I don't know
12:50It looks familiar
12:51Is it Bear Grylls?
12:52Oh
12:53That's Joe Pasquale
12:56How can you work out that's Joe Pasquale?
13:01It is Joe Pasquale
13:02No way
13:03Fucking Joe Pasquale
13:04I could have sworn it was Freddie Flintoff
13:06Bloody Freddie Flintoff
13:08Oh well
13:09You can't get it right every time
13:11Yeah
13:13Joe Pasquale everybody
13:15Well obviously everyone else but ass knows who he is
13:18Everyone under 25 saying who?
13:19Who?
13:20I mean I now have another big question on my lips
13:24Why?
13:25Yeah
13:26In hall
13:35No Jenny just pour it in a little bit
13:37What?
13:38Oh no don't go too far Jenny
13:39No I won't
13:40I won't
13:41Oh
13:42Best friends Jenny and Lee
13:43What are you on about?
13:44Oh
13:45Oh no you're going too far in
13:50Oh that's oh that's quite nice that
13:53Oh have you got them all?
13:55Yeah
13:56Yeah
13:57Do the other ear then
14:02In Surrey
14:03Oh do you know what?
14:04I'm so happy to be back
14:05As much as I love the sunshine and the rum punch and the food
14:11I'm happy to be back with my mum and dad
14:15Sarah her husband Andre and their daughter Shay
14:19No boys
14:20Oh plenty
14:21Oh mum you shouldn't eat
14:23We haven't got up on that level yet
14:26What?
14:29Mum
14:30Listen I'm going to phone your grandma
14:32I want to know how come your grandma never told me about boys
14:35Because Nana set me up with them
14:37Oh didn't she?
14:38Yes
14:40Nana was like go girl
14:42Oh really?
14:43Yeah
14:45You are never going to see your grandma ever again
14:49On Wednesday night there was only one place to be
14:52As the hoodwinking in the Highlands continued on BBC One
14:56Come on you traitor
14:57Oh
14:59I'd make a good traitor
15:01More trollop
15:03No I'd make a good one of them I know
15:06All exciting news
15:07First time I've watched a traitor's engaged
15:09What you're engaged?
15:12Previously
15:13Oh
15:14Six faithful have fallen
15:17Six faithfuls you know
15:18That's terrible
15:19I'm a faithful
15:20Faithful, faithful
15:22Oh look at Mark
15:23He gets really upset
15:25People have been suspicious of Mark
15:26Because Mark's having all these big dramatic reactions
15:29And he's an actor
15:30So they think it's all an act
15:31Is it me or is this getting a lot easier?
15:34Look at them lolling
15:37They're absolutely lolling their heads off
15:39Because they've not been caught
15:44Have you ever been a traitor in life?
15:47Have you ever betrayed anyone?
15:49Well I work in HR
15:50See ya
15:52Gravel in the treads of my shoes
15:54The leader of the faithfuls
15:56Thank you for trusting me
15:58They don't think Stephen's a traitor
16:00No they don't
16:02He doesn't look like a traitor though does he?
16:05Who looks like a traitor?
16:07I'll be straight with both of you
16:09I'm suspicious of all the actors today
16:11Oh
16:12Yeah
16:13To be honest I've always been cautious around thespians
16:15I've been suspicious of bloody everybody actually
16:18Never mind just the actors
16:19You're suspect number one for me
16:21I'm suspect number one?
16:22Yeah
16:23Suspect number one?
16:24Your jaw comes straight up with it
16:25Oh Christ
16:26You're best suited to slip into that role
16:28Well I tell you what
16:29For me
16:31Here comes the real traitor
16:33Speak of the devil
16:34He literally has walked in like the devil hasn't he though?
16:38I'm going to suspect everyone a day
16:39That's the only way I think you can do it
16:41That's what he keeps saying
16:42And do you know what?
16:44Jonathan Ross has planted seeds, seeds, seeds, seeds, seeds everywhere
16:49I'm pretty convinced that Jonathan is the leader of the traitors
16:53You know why Joe's got it?
16:55Because Joe plays rugby
16:57He plays a strategic game
16:59But I want to go after Mark first
17:02Joe, go after Mark, not Jonathan
17:04Because I love Jonathan as a traitor
17:09Here we go
17:10Okay
17:11Claudio has arrived
17:13Players, welcome back to the round table
17:16Oh for you
17:17She's got extra eyeliner on today
17:19Extra eyeliner, extra shine spray
17:22Is tonight the night?
17:24Can you finally catch a traitor?
17:27They've got no fucking chance
17:28They don't even know what day it is
17:29Never mind find a traitor
17:30We want to catch a traitor
17:31We want to catch a traitor
17:32My first candidate is Sir Stephen Fye
17:35Oh!
17:36Of all of you, we listen to you the most
17:38Yeah
17:39Look how disappointed he looks
17:40We can't vote off our faithful leader
17:43Oh, go on Joe
17:44I think it's more important we vote off a traitor
17:47Jonathan, Jonathan, Jonathan, Jonathan
17:49I think so too, that's my point
17:50Who are they, don't you?
17:51It's Mark
17:53He's just said it
17:55Mark's nearly got wind lashed it
17:58Sorry
17:59Give me a cut
18:01I know you want to start to
18:02Yeah, but I've got suspicions of you
18:04Ah
18:06Alan!
18:08You throw yourself into every task, every mission with such enthusiasm
18:13Oh Alan, you cheeky monkey
18:16He's dead good at this
18:18Here's my fear
18:19Is that we are being manipulated in a way that we have been repeatedly
18:25Oh yes
18:26Oh, that's right David
18:27That's right
18:28He's got that right
18:29Who are the initiators of the discussions that lead to people getting five, six, seven votes around this table
18:36Oh
18:37Oh
18:38His reasoning's sound but I think you'll get the wrong conclusion
18:41Oh dear
18:42And the person who seems to be most skilled at that is you
18:46Oh yeah
18:48Oh wow
18:49How are they all so bloody wrong?
18:51Nobody's pointing the finger at Alan, Jonathan or Kat
18:55At least one traitor or maybe two
18:57Will try and stay under the radar for as long as possible
19:01And then start popping their head up
19:03And I feel that's the pattern that you're doing at the moment
19:07Oh what?
19:08They're all great theories that they're coming up with
19:11Like, you know, they're really plausible but they're all fucking wrong
19:13Absolutely wrong
19:15Players, the time for talk is over
19:19Oh God, I think Mark might be going
19:22Oh well, that's got a note of it
19:25Stephen, we'll start with you
19:26Who do you believe is a traitor and why?
19:29Well, I've put David
19:31Oh, David
19:33Joe Wilkinson
19:34I've said you, David
19:36Oh my God
19:39Freaking hell
19:41Jonathan
19:42I've changed my vote
19:43I'm sorry, David
19:44I voted for you
19:46Freaking hell
19:48David's put his head above the parapet
19:50And it's now going to get shot off
19:51Yeah, he's had his head blown off, eh?
19:53Bless him
19:54Alan
19:56Mark
19:57Mark
19:59That's another thing
20:00Joe Marley
20:01I'm sticking with my gut
20:03And I think it's you, Mark
20:04Your gut is wrong
20:06So wrong
20:07You're so far off the mark
20:09Mark
20:10He's very nice to look at as well, Mark, isn't he?
20:13Kat
20:14You have the deciding vote
20:18Who you got?
20:19Who's Kat gone for?
20:21My vote
20:23Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, come on
20:26I need to look
20:28It's for you, David
20:29AHHHHH
20:30Aye aye aye aye aye
20:31All right
20:32Right, it's a draw
20:33You must fight until one of you is dead
20:36And after another round of voting
20:38It was five votes for Mark
20:40And four votes for David
20:43Celia, you have the final vote
20:46Oh
20:47If you vote for Mark
20:49He will be banished
20:51you vote for David it will be a tie and their fate will be decided by chance oh
21:00no this has never happened on traitors I've never seen it actually go to chance
21:05so then Celia who do you believe is a traitor
21:12come on Celia
21:15Julie oh Julie what's she voting what's she voting for I voted for you David
21:22oh it's got a chance first time on UK traitors oh my god therefore we will now leave this
21:32banishment to the hands of fate how does that happen Paloma fight I think she's come back
21:38what why did she go what happens who chooses want to see the hand of fate where's the hand of fate
21:47oh I'm not going to be able to sleep tonight now of course you will you be snoring like a trooper
21:58in half an hour's time whose fate is it like a really big guy comes in and just like waterboards
22:03them are you a traitor tell me the truth and if your trousers are wet you are you're a traitor
22:10yeah what's waterboard what boy where they choke like water and they keep choking you till you um
22:15oh you've been waterboarding no really no yeah what's motorboating then no motorboating is
22:22in Wiltshire I got my head under water I think I've still got some water you didn't put your head
22:37under water again I warned you not to I washed my hair Mary but it doesn't did you rinse it properly
22:43Giles and his wife Mary honestly Charles you mustn't wash your hair in the bath because you can't rinse
22:50it properly then why do you keep making the same mistakes you need a personal attendant with you
23:01at all times yelling at you to say you can't afford a nurse in the nursing home matron will look after
23:10me on Wednesday night e4 was celebrating a milestone that took us on a trip down memory lane your life
23:18could be a soap like we could like we could write your life into storylines on a soap quite regularly
23:25I know it's just a cliffhanger every day because nothing's ever resolved
23:27yeah this is a lot goes on do you know what I mean
23:31did you know me and Hollyoaks are the same age both turning 30 this year remember you used to watch
23:41the on your bus on Sundays on your bus on whose bus on my bus on you bus is that what it's called
23:48omnibus omnibus I don't know what the hell you look was talking about there
23:55what's the matter with her she's looking shifty Ellie she's the Hollyoaks villain who's been
24:04causing loads of trouble so police are after her no wonder she's shifty talk to some witnesses
24:09donnie the copper has been trying to track claire down for ages what was he in the fire brooksade
24:19brooksade oh he spotted her right donnie get on your radio eyes on eyes on I've got it first hand
24:28the granddaddy's not done with you what is it is she gonna get her granddad to knock him out
24:33oh she's threatening isn't she claire is that a threat yes it is you've been a very naughty boy
24:39oh yeah really oh no never say that in public why is she talking like that for jen yeah she got the
24:45voice and the bad guy yeah and he's got in mind a revenge here oh oh has claire got something on
24:52donnie she's got something on him she's gonna blackmail him aiming straight for your other life
24:57other life what does she mean oh look at his face he's worried oh dear he looks as though he's
25:12shook to the core now as well my other life my other life all right it's me it's all come on top
25:20so come on top he's up to sammy donnie i need you up no no who is he called there oh what who needs
25:30who i hate when i talk cryptically
25:32who's this i hate to tell you and i told you so he's sinbad the window cleaner yeah
25:41i warned you 20 years ago nothing good would ever come of this oh what's he done 20 years ago dirty dog
25:49always comes out in the wash
25:51wait wait wait wait wait wait this is brookside music in it what the hell's going on oh my god
26:01are you sure about this i've got to it's hardly changed whoa we're on the close it's brookside what so are they going to merge them both is it going to become like broly oaks or something
26:03they're going to be digging up bodies from under the patio there's going to be two women kissing before we know it
26:10you sure about this i've got to it's hardly changed whoa we're on the close it's brookside what so are they going to merge them both is it going to become like broly oaks or something
26:21they're going to be digging up bodies from under the patio there's going to be two women kissing before we know it
26:28so who is he now is he johnny of holly oaks or is he mick from brookside you've got some explaining to deal oh there she is sheila sheila fucking hell this is amazing how have they managed to do this i read the eulogy at your funeral 20 years ago mick johnson is it going to be a
26:56mick johnson it's come back from the dead she called his whole name the whole easy trouble johnson it would only 30 seconds ago now he's mick johnson other life patterns you are not seeing gemma
27:10what's this my daughter sheila that girl stopped being your daughter the minute that you faked your own death oh he faked his own death that's what claire's on the boat so he's faked his own death in brookside
27:22and then started a new life on holly oaks as policeman donny thinking that her dad had died in a fire he's taking the mick
27:30no wonder i bloody fight my own death get a bit of peace and quiet from you gbh to the ears
27:36i don't care what kind of a mess you've got yourself into do you know she was in grief therapy
27:42oh hang on it's billy and barry billy and barry where they dug all these lot up from you're looking really
27:49well for the dead man long story billy i'll bet you remember him i remember him billy corkill yeah
27:56well softland thinks he's going to have a reunion with his daughter that's the daughter oh here she is
28:03oh god gemma looks like she's literally seen a ghost oh well thank god somebody's actually looking
28:13surprised i've thought recently of faking my own death oh no no well yes because then you all would
28:21appreciate me more if you thought i was dead and then i could come back after 20 years like him
28:26yeah but so many things would go wrong exactly admin wise i know
28:34in glasgow happy birthday to you happy birthday to thank you so much best mates jake and callum
28:45i know i know it was where's the 28 days ago yeah yeah yeah shop ran out thanks very much it's all good
28:54oh god go on yeah your lungs got the capacity they do thankfully good oh that's amazing thank
29:02you you're away for a couple of days so that's my ford birthday cake is it yeah right then well we'll
29:07take this away shall we on thursday the business bigwigs were flashing their cash again on bbc one
29:15if you don't know your numbers you can't go to the dragon's dip that sounds a bit like me when i
29:19ask you for money to be honest no dad's like i want a return on my investment why why do you need
29:26so much did it i don't think it's as bad as that that can have 20 quid dad wants a whole business
29:32plan no it's not just give me the 20 quid it's not that bad you see i'm not scared of the dragons
29:43they don't scare me i'm not scared of them you're not scared of anything are you really i love deborah
29:47meeting to be fair yeah i like deborah i think she'd be a real good crap to go out with you know
29:51get her sloshed i don't think she drinks does she she would if she was with me
29:58i'm andrew i'm 39 years old what's this oh what have we got here i thought that
30:03man was wearing a t-shirt that was shiny but it's his body
30:06yo yo yo dragons i want you all to make some noise oh no no don't make noise is he a wrestler
30:17that's put me off straight off oh look they do it this is incredible sake my name is man like
30:26de reese can we call you a man for sure i'm in take my money and i'm a wrestler at north wrestling
30:32and i am the champion of who north wrestling what's that even i wouldn't mind being wrestled
30:39by him just you know i wouldn't want him to hurt me but just to see what it was like
30:46deborah's thinking it's not my birthday till december but i'll take it absolutely and i'm here
30:51to offer oh hello what's going on something going on yeah yeah who the hell is this now oh
31:01oh my god not another wrestler no are they about to wrestle oh my god please wrestle i'm all in
31:11i'm rory coyle and i'm here for the biggest prize in pro wrestling that north wrestling
31:17championship this is a pitch this is what do you think he's trying to pitch here simon i've got
31:22no idea i don't mind i just want deborah meadon to get up there and start wrestling so what do you
31:27say on dragon stand let's go power bombing yeah come on making it real though do you know what i mean
31:34oh what we're selling medical insurance did you do that on purpose or was it an accident i don't
31:50never know what's real and what's not in wrestling how we're gonna drill down into the numbers after
31:54this i do not know yeah i'm andrew i'm the owner of north wrestling i thought of doing this you know
32:00starting a wrestling business i'm here to ask you for 60 000 pounds of investment that's not a lot
32:05for 25 of my business 60 grand for 25 that's not bad is it how much is that the vision for north
32:12wrestling is the ultimate variety show i mean some people must like it you know what it was very very
32:18popular when it was saturday and wrestling was on our next door neighbor mrs higginbottom
32:24god rest her soul because it was years ago all you could hear was her screaming and shouting
32:29old ladies love it i might be wrong but i think i might be the only dragon who's actually ever put
32:35on wrestling matches oh interesting fact about deborah she was a wrestler wasn't she
32:43mad lady meaden i think i think her name was um so in my holiday parks pick that up we used to put
32:50on wrestling matches every week um for many many years what happened and but they slowly dwindled oh
32:58right brace yourself for these words this is old-fashioned yeah see that's what i think yeah
33:03but it's not now it's coming back it's not it is listen to deborah oh what's she not she's a
33:10multimillionaire s it's a business of passion and love and community but it's not an investment for me
33:19oh this is i've never been so disappointed at hearing i'm out on dragon's den he would be better
33:26off swapping the wrestlers out for strippers male strippers sell those tickets
33:34it's in it do you know any wrestling modes no no no i don't you go go oh one two three
33:44Are you in?
34:05In Leeds...
34:07Look at my autumn basket and my autumn wreath,
34:11which I made.
34:14Really? I thought it looked not B&M bargains.
34:17Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
34:19Are you not impressed?
34:21I can't believe you said it looks like it's from B&M bargains.
34:24Because our Louise came round on Saturday and I was saying to her,
34:27ooh, what do you think of my wreath?
34:29She went, ooh, I absolutely love it.
34:30It looks like that you've paid at least £15 for that.
34:34And I thought, 15 quid?
34:35Cost you more than my material.
34:37Yeah!
34:41He's really purring, he's really purring.
34:45He doesn't bite me as much as he used to, Dad.
34:47He doesn't, actually.
34:48No, he's not a biter anymore. I think he's gotten used to.
34:50He's always been the swiper. It's Tashi who's the biter.
34:53The Siddiquis.
34:55The best thing is when you do that underneath the chin.
34:57I don't do that.
34:58Dad wants you to get bit. You said that on purpose.
35:01Look at him.
35:01Do it in a way that you mean it or not.
35:04Do it in a way that you're going to get bit.
35:08Look, he's chomping at the bit.
35:09No, seriously.
35:11Because sometimes I do it.
35:12Oh, son of a bit.
35:13Did he get you?
35:14Yeah.
35:15He got me there.
35:16He drew blood and he's leaving.
35:19On Friday, a prince falling on his sword made the headlines on the BBC.
35:27I saw that old man groaning.
35:30You're doing it.
35:31What?
35:32Do you think it'll...
35:32Do you want to do it?
35:33Do you think the news will work if a woman does it?
35:36After years of scrutiny and further revelations in recent months...
35:40Oh, there you are.
35:42There he is. What's he done now?
35:43Prince Andrew has given up his royal titles and will no longer be called Duke of York.
35:49That's it, Andrew. Just give them all up before they take them off, yeah?
35:52Make yourself look a bit better.
35:54Is that it?
35:55You can't call me Duke anymore.
35:57It's just Andrew now.
35:58That Virginia Jew phrase book's coming out in a couple of days, so it's weird how he's
36:04had to give his title up before that's published. It's almost like there's an iceberg.
36:09No, it'll just be coincidence, Padded.
36:12Do you reckon?
36:12Yeah.
36:12The king's younger brother said he'd concluded that continuing accusations about him were
36:18a distraction from the work of the king and the wider royal family.
36:22He is a distraction.
36:23So he's still a prince?
36:25He is still a prince. It's his dukedom that he's given up and his membership of the garter
36:30that he's given up.
36:31I don't even know what a fucking garter is.
36:33Well, he ain't member of it anymore.
36:34Prince Andrew, who retains the title prince, stopped being a working royal more than five
36:40years ago.
36:41He'll still be Prince Andrew because his mother was queen.
36:44I can't take prince away because he was born a prince.
36:47I've got to change the law to do that.
36:49The royal family member formerly known as Prince.
36:52That'll come.
36:53Despite his status as a non-working royal, at times he took a prominent position.
37:01Fuck off.
37:03Look, Charles is like, listen, bread dark, go over there.
37:06Go over there, rude boy, don't talk to me.
37:08Yeah.
37:09Alongside the king and prince of Wales.
37:11Did the king just say to him then, I think that's your car?
37:13You're in the wrong place, you need to be a bit further up there, as far as you can get.
37:19Who at times looked distinctly uncomfortable in the presence of his uncle.
37:23You don't want that guy near you.
37:25William's looking everywhere but at his uncle.
37:27Yeah, he's kept a bit of distance there, haven't he?
37:29In a statement from the prince, he said,
37:32God, you know, you just dread a family meeting in this family.
37:38You know, if somebody called a family meeting, you'd be like, oh, what now?
37:41Oh, Jesus.
37:43I have decided.
37:44He's decided nothing.
37:45As I always have, to put my duty to my family and country first.
37:50Oh, how noble.
37:51To put my duty to my family and country first, if that was the case, it would have severed all ties with Epstein.
37:59As I have said previously, I vigorously deny the accusations against me.
38:03It's not looking good though, is it, pal?
38:05Prince Andrew will no longer use the title Duke of York.
38:09Oh.
38:10I remember this day.
38:12It was given to him on his wedding day by his mother, Queen Elizabeth II.
38:16I think he was her favourite son.
38:19Well, it doesn't matter whether he was or not.
38:21The point is, he was a chump.
38:23Technically, he has not been stripped of the dukedom.
38:27It's become inactive.
38:28Let's fuck all the technicalities off.
38:30He ain't the duke anymore.
38:32And his ex-wife will no longer use the title Duchess of York.
38:35She will now just be known as Sarah Ferguson.
38:38Oh, I bet she's filming Fergie.
38:40She's lost everything I know through him.
38:41Well, she's just bad.
38:43Also lying dormant will be his membership of the Order of the Garter.
38:47Oh, I bet he likes the garter, Andy, don't he?
38:50An ancient order of chivalry.
38:52Chivalry?
38:53That's a fucking laugh.
38:55Chivalry.
38:56Losing the titles and honours now.
38:59I get uncomfortable when he's on screen, you know.
39:02I don't want to see his face ever again.
39:05Is a response to a continued drip feed of allegations
39:08around the prince's relationship with convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.
39:13You lay down with dogs, you catch fleas.
39:15You do.
39:16This will live with him for the rest of his life now, isn't it?
39:19And right now so.
39:20His BBC Newsnight interview in 2019.
39:23This was a disaster.
39:24Beyond a disaster.
39:26As he was questioned about his relationship with Virginia Dufresne.
39:29They say pictures don't lie.
39:31Pictures speak a thousand words.
39:33This young girl's dead now, ain't she?
39:34Yeah.
39:34Tonight's announcement is a further punishment for him.
39:38He will have been under intense pressure from the king
39:40and the wider royal family.
39:42He won't be going to Sunderingham for his Christmas dinner.
39:44Oh, no, he won't.
39:45He'll be having Christmas with fucking Pugh in.
39:47You watch.
39:49Oh, my God.
39:50I can imagine him in the jungle this time next year.
39:54Oh, no.
39:55So embarrassing.
39:57With Fergie.
39:58And strictly the year after.
40:00Oh.
40:01Oh.
40:01Oh.
40:01Oh.
40:01Oh.
40:01Oh.
40:02Oh.
40:02Oh.
40:03Oh.
40:03Oh.
40:03Oh.
40:04In Manchester.
40:06Looked on me and Virabell.
40:08And Virabell?
40:09Yeah.
40:10It won't happen in here because there's no spirits in here.
40:12But when you get on a ghost hunt and a ghost goes near it, it pings.
40:18The Malones.
40:20Like a ghost rings for attention.
40:21Yeah.
40:22Yeah.
40:22You can say, if there's any spirits around, can you ring the bell, please?
40:28What have you brought that in here for?
40:30To show you.
40:31Yeah.
40:31No.
40:32Because what if a ghost goes and rings it now?
40:34There isn't any ghosts in here.
40:35Well, they've not rang yet, have they?
40:37But there might be one coming through.
40:38Turn it off.
40:39Get out.
40:39You don't bring gold.
40:41Oh.
40:42Fucking hell.
40:42Sorry.
40:43Fucking hell.
40:44Oh my God.
40:45Get out.
40:46Get out.
40:46On Thursday night, famous faces were finding things freaky on Discovery+.
40:52You ready to have the willies put up, you Pedro?
40:55Am I?
40:55I like watching this wheel because I know you're by yourself tonight.
40:59Oh, don't be wrong.
41:04Suzanne Shaw from here, see?
41:07Celebrities are no different from the rest of us, are they?
41:09Do I mean, they get haunted too.
41:10What I would do to be part of their team, genuinely, is just be like, oh my God, I feel a presence.
41:15No, you'd do the most.
41:16You'd actually do the most.
41:17Yeah, you'd do all that.
41:19Act like you got possessed on the spot.
41:21The team have been called in to investigate this country farmhouse.
41:26You can see the hearsay, money's been spent well.
41:29For ten months, it's been the home of singer and actor Suzanne Shaw.
41:33Suzanne looks like she's been spooked already.
41:35Yeah.
41:36She looks terrified, Blattson.
41:38I know.
41:39I've always been really spiritual.
41:41As a little girl, I would see people sat at the end of my bed.
41:44Oh, I've had that, haven't I?
41:46I haven't seen them.
41:46Oh, here we go.
41:47I felt them.
41:48Oh, we know.
41:49I would feel people's presence beside me.
41:52I'd always see people over my shoulder.
41:54Ooh.
41:55I do, and then it turns out it's like a cult.
41:58Oh, George.
41:59Yeah.
41:59Oh, George.
42:01Wherever I go, whatever house I've lived in, I feel something.
42:05Ah, so she is haunted.
42:06It sounds to me as if she's got an attachment.
42:09Because Suzanne's emotions are constantly being affected, we're concerned she could have an attachment.
42:16What did I say?
42:17What did I say?
42:18I said straight away, she has an attachment.
42:22So something might be occupying her.
42:25This experiment is one that's going to allow Ian to try and tap into your subconscious.
42:30All right, here we go.
42:31Barry Guy's my favourite, you know.
42:32Just because he's got all the tech, he's got all the gear and a little bit of an idea.
42:36These are some goggles.
42:38No way!
42:39Did he make it himself?
42:41They look homemade, look at them.
42:43They emit a red light.
42:46That's going to put you into a more relaxed state of mind.
42:49Right.
42:50You know what it's going to put me into?
42:51It fits with giggles.
42:55In front of you is a doorway.
43:00Look at this!
43:01So what he's doing now is he's taking her back to when she was younger
43:07to see if he can find when the attachment started.
43:10Tell me what you see.
43:12Tell me what you see.
43:13Fuck all, you've got these goggles on me.
43:16I'm in my bedroom from childhood.
43:21How old are you?
43:22Four.
43:23Oh, she's four.
43:24The bogeyman's there.
43:26The bogeyman?
43:28The bogeyman?
43:28Yeah, that's what she said, Simon.
43:30What does he want with you?
43:33He doesn't want anyone else to have me.
43:35Oh.
43:36I belong to him.
43:39He wants my soul.
43:44Darkness descends, and Suzanne leaves us for the night.
43:49Okay, why is she so dramatic about it?
43:53Ain't the bogeyman going to follow her?
43:54It's hurting, isn't it?
43:55He's going to go over there?
43:56Yeah.
43:56I want to talk to whoever makes this place feel so heavy.
44:03Oh, he said, fuck off to her.
44:07That's a feisty ghost, man.
44:10Are you telling me to fuck off?
44:12Well, I'd have to tell him to fuck off as well.
44:14Do you know, the other week, on my spirit box, they called me a slut.
44:19Fucking hell.
44:21Honestly.
44:21We're back on the landing, and this time we're using necrophonic.
44:26Necrophonics, Mary.
44:27Hilarious.
44:27I want to know who told me to piss off and fuck.
44:31I said devil.
44:32Huh?
44:32Are you sure, Barry?
44:33No, Barry.
44:34Don't laugh at Barry.
44:38Did it?
44:38That actually just said devil.
44:40They've pissed the devil off now.
44:42Did you come with Suzanne, or are you from the land?
44:49What do you say?
44:50What were I?
44:51Leave.
44:52You're going to leave.
44:54Fuck.
44:54Fuck off.
44:56Is it a fuck off?
44:57To you?
44:57To you?
44:58Are they just talking to Alexa?
45:00I think they are, you know.
45:02Is Alexa just really pissed off?
45:03Yeah.
45:06Ah, this is the problem.
45:07We left Alexa in evil mode, didn't we?
45:09Let's clicker back into nice mode.
45:14Suzanne returns.
45:16And through exorcism prayer, I'm going to try and sever this attachment.
45:21You're going to do an exorcism?
45:23Yeah.
45:23Of Suzanne from hearsay.
45:25Hallowed be thy name.
45:27Thy kingdom come.
45:29Thy will be done in earth as it is in heaven.
45:32What's she doing?
45:33What?
45:33What's she going like that for?
45:35We ask of you, dear God, to come down.
45:37It's starting to budge now.
45:38It's starting to go.
45:40To give us love.
45:42Oh, shit.
45:43It's a brick, man.
45:44What the fuck?
45:45In the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.
45:49She's crying.
45:49I'll tell you what, she's earning her money, isn't she?
45:52In the name of Jesus Christ, our Lord.
45:54Oh, my gosh.
45:58Oh, is he out?
46:00Brilliant, brilliant.
46:01Actually, that was the beginning of one of their songs, wasn't it?
46:03Probably.
46:04I've often said that you need an exorcism, but I would go to somebody, I think, more.
46:08I wonder if you can have a Harley Street exorcism rather than those people.
46:13I would prefer to go private, Natty.
46:17National Health might botch it.
46:19Two titans of Channel 4 drama collide in Cheshire.
46:25Brookside meets Hollyoaks at 30, stream and celebrate timeless moments right now.
46:30Shrill screeches aren't reserved for Mercedes McQueen either, you know.
46:34Intergenerational travelers in Japan scramble for big cash in Competition World Depart, streaming now too.
46:40Next tonight, Richard Ayoade's on his last leg, live.
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