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Gogglebox (2013) Season 26 Episode 9
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FunTranscript
00:00I am dying.
00:01Nah, this is...
00:02I think that might be outfit of the century.
00:08I'm doing the haircut, I'm going to get the trim,
00:11and then I need to get the fangs.
00:14Fangs.
00:15But, yeah.
00:16That is spot on.
00:18The boots.
00:21I'm speechless, I don't know what to say.
00:30Her flabbers have been gasted.
00:33You want some of this?
00:35Oh, that is!
00:36Look out!
00:37No, Steve!
00:39Oh, now there's a controversial statement.
00:41The gravy.
00:44Yeah!
00:45Do you like this music?
00:47No, not particularly.
00:48So suck on that.
00:49Oh, wow!
00:51He's been a bad boy!
00:53Don't ever take me to a restaurant like that.
00:55Not a chance, Julie.
00:56Oh!
00:57Yes, look at that.
00:58That's a McAllen.
00:59She's got taste.
01:01Whoa!
01:02For a banana?
01:03This is insane!
01:05Well, thank God that's over, I've got it out.
01:07Come on.
01:08It is like putting chicken in a vodka tonic, this.
01:12That's very modern, isn't it?
01:13Now, if no one saw that coming.
01:15No.
01:17In the week we bid a fond farewell to Fawlty Tower's icon,
01:20Grunella Scales, we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:24Famous faces were showcasing their niche knowledge on BBC One.
01:29And Jill Scott on Hot Drinks.
01:33Hot drinks?
01:34How could that be a specialist subject?
01:37I can think of three.
01:39Tea, coffee and hot chocolate.
01:41That's what I was going to say, Mary.
01:44Great minds.
01:45Things were heating up in the Bake Off tent on Channel 4.
01:48I wing it.
01:49Just Wednesday.
01:50Hope the best.
01:51And drink some coffee.
01:52I'm a bit of a guesser, chucking this, chucking that, chucking the next thing.
01:55I don't really use scales because you just use the spoon.
01:58Oh, no.
01:59Cannae be arse.
02:00The serving spoon, that's about an ounce, so there you go.
02:02I know.
02:03I know.
02:04Yes, I'm the same.
02:05I've got an old serving spoon that's announced.
02:07Because you cannae be arse cut...
02:09Oh, good grief.
02:10You've got to clean the scales and all that after.
02:12Away you go.
02:13No, no, no.
02:14Anyway, I avoid scales of any sort, like the bloody plague.
02:18Anyway.
02:19And all eyes were on telly's most famous round table.
02:23Faithful.
02:24So far, the traitors have got away with murder.
02:29In this room, right now, you can change that.
02:34I can't wait to give Bobby's birthday card.
02:36I've got him a traitor's birthday card.
02:38I've ordered him the traitor's cloak, the traitor's chalkboard
02:42and the traitor's, you have been murdered wax letter.
02:45Well, you know what?
02:46I'm going to have to be playing every five minutes now, don't you?
02:48Yeah.
02:57In Wiltshire...
02:58I found something, Mary, in the cottage.
03:01Oh, let me see it.
03:02Looks very much like some Halloween witch's brew.
03:05It's not a witch's brew, it's a...
03:07Can I take the top off?
03:08No, it's my project.
03:09What is it?
03:10Giles and his wife, Mary.
03:12Well, it was my loaf of bread.
03:15What's happened to it?
03:16Well, it hasn't risen for some reason.
03:18Oh, no, don't say someone in the village has cursed it.
03:21Right, you're going to an asylum if you honestly think that's likely.
03:26If the bread doesn't rise, Natty, in the old days, it could have been there's a witch in the village cursing.
03:31There's certainly a warlock in the village.
03:34Oh.
03:35On Saturday night, BBC One spun into action with the return of this.
03:41Ellie, what were you thinking when you poured this?
03:44Is it half a bottle each in one glass?
03:47Is it so you don't have to get off your arse and top us up?
03:50I was thinking it's Saturday night.
03:54The wheel!
03:55I'd be unbelievable at this.
03:56I'd be proper good.
03:58Cos I'd go and do a pub quiz.
04:00Yeah, but isn't it true that the one you wasn't there, they actually won?
04:08Yeah.
04:09In the programme, someone popped up to play Michael's game.
04:13Oh, she's excited, Sally.
04:16Ooh, she's full of it.
04:17Oh, Sal.
04:18I was going to be called Sally.
04:20Erm, I don't know if we could have been friends.
04:22Sally, tell us about yourself.
04:23Erm, I'm from Gateshead.
04:25Ooh!
04:27And I'm a lollipop lady.
04:29Come on!
04:31Oh, salt of the earth, Mary.
04:34Do you know that I once failed one of my driving tests
04:37because I didn't stop for a lollipop lady?
04:40Why doesn't that surprise me?
04:41Here we go!
04:42Whoa!
04:46This has been my favourite part of being on this programme.
04:49Yeah, the jamming in between.
04:55I hate things that rotate.
04:57Apart from rotisserie chicken, that's nice.
05:01The UK Tea and Infusions Association...
05:05Why am I not a member of that?
05:07..recommends what process for making tea
05:10with a tea bag in a mug?
05:12Oh, here we go.
05:13I know this. I know this.
05:14This is the most British question I've ever seen
05:17on any game show.
05:19Water, milk, bag in, bag out.
05:21No.
05:22No.
05:23Definitely not.
05:24Oh, watery milk. Yuck.
05:25Milk, bag in, water, bag out.
05:27Seriously?
05:28Absolutely not.
05:29No, you're a psychopath if you're doing that, I'm sorry.
05:31Milk in first?
05:32If I catch anyone doing milk, bag in, water, bag out,
05:35they'd get a slap around the chops.
05:37No.
05:38Bag in, water, milk, bag out.
05:40I had a friend called Don who used to put the milk in first.
05:44It's not right, is it?
05:45No, it's not right.
05:46Bag in, water, bag out, milk.
05:49This is an excellent question.
05:50Water, milk, bag in, bag out.
05:52Milk, bag in, water, bag out.
05:53Bag in, water, bag out.
05:54Bag in, water, milk, bag out.
05:55Bag in, water, bag out, milk.
05:58That's me there.
05:59Bag in, water, bag out, milk.
06:00Bag in, water, bag out, milk.
06:03No!
06:04That's how I do it.
06:05No, because...
06:06So I put the bag in, put the water in.
06:07You can't be confident with your bag coming out
06:09until you've put the milk in.
06:10No.
06:11If you put too much milk in, you're fucked.
06:13I do bag in, water, milk, bag out.
06:16Yes!
06:17No!
06:18It's bag in, water, bag out, milk.
06:21Oh, she goes the same as you, does Sally.
06:23Well, she's wrong and all.
06:25Leaving the bag in with the milk.
06:26Yeah.
06:27No.
06:28Wrong.
06:29I do do that, but I don't think the association will say that.
06:32But I also squeeze the teabag, which you shouldn't do either.
06:34That's right.
06:35Why?
06:36Yeah, I do.
06:37Yeah, I do.
06:38Well, you do, because you give me the second dippings.
06:40I hate a teabag.
06:41I don't like a teabag.
06:42What do you do with it?
06:43It just hangs a boot.
06:44I don't like them.
06:45So maybe bag in, water, bag out, milk.
06:49Yes.
06:50No, that's wrong.
06:51Absolutely fucking not.
06:52I'm telling you.
06:53No.
06:54I go for bag in, water, milk, bag out.
06:57Oh, no, no, no.
06:58I take the bag out before the milk.
07:00I'm bag in, water.
07:02Bag out, milk.
07:03That's what I've done.
07:04Oh, no.
07:05That's the way I would make a cup of tea personally.
07:07Yeah.
07:08I don't make it like that, but I think that is what you're meant to do.
07:10That's what I do.
07:11Number four.
07:12Why are we still deliberating this?
07:13I know they've deliberated this loads and I'm like, this is the most straightforward question I've ever seen.
07:16Even the frigging tea's gone cold.
07:18Nat leaves his bag in.
07:20You've locked in bag in, water.
07:22Bag out.
07:23No.
07:24That's it.
07:25If you want the best cup of tea, that's the way to do it.
07:29If you want to do it wrong, Sally, crack on.
07:31I make my mum and dad a cup of tea every night and they always say our abs makes the best cup of tea.
07:37They feel sorry for you.
07:38It's your parents.
07:39No, they don't.
07:40They're going to say that.
07:41They're going to back everything you do.
07:43Is this the right answer?
07:44No.
07:45Come on.
07:46It's got to be right there.
07:47It has to be right.
07:48If this is right, Julie, you're wrong.
07:50Yes, it is!
07:52Yes!
07:53You're wrong.
07:55You're wrong.
07:56Woo-hoo!
07:57Well, seeing as I've been doing it wrong, you can make me a-brew in a bit there.
08:00You need to go and practise how to do it the right way.
08:02I'll have a coffee.
08:03No.
08:04I don't like your cup of tea's.
08:05Liar!
08:06Every time you drink my cup, you say, ooh, this is a lovely cup of tea.
08:10But I made this one and, for me, it's perfect.
08:12For me, it's too strong.
08:13Make your own next time, then.
08:15And it's for getting a sweetener.
08:16I didn't forget.
08:17I purposely didn't put it in.
08:22So, what are we getting from Chinese tonight?
08:25Hang on a minute.
08:26Me and Toby are getting a Chinese.
08:29You're not including the Chinese plans.
08:31How dare you one invite me to your Chinese?
08:34You were never invited.
08:36Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
08:37So you're going to send me home on my own to an empty house while you lot are stuffing your faces with Chinese?
08:43I don't think so.
08:44Do some lovely meals for one at that Chinese.
08:47You can piss off.
08:48I'm staying here.
08:49I was the one.
08:50I had the idea.
08:51And now you're saying that I can't even have a Chinese with you.
08:56Because you know Nat won't eat Chinese.
08:58Well, let me speak to Toby about it.
09:01Toby knows what's good for him.
09:03He'll do what I tell him.
09:05On Tuesday night, the bakers were fighting to make it to the final on Channel 4.
09:12Look at all these, Jenny.
09:13Look at all them.
09:14You've never baked a cake in your life.
09:17Why have I got all these then?
09:18Look at that.
09:19Look.
09:20Yeah, two of them a man!
09:26I was baking in my bright other day when I made that pie.
09:29Because I didn't want my clothes to stink.
09:32You couldn't do that on Bake Off.
09:34So for your technical challenge, Paul Hollywood would love you to make his take on the exquisite French framboisier.
09:41What?
09:42A framboisier?
09:43What's a framboisier?
09:45It's raspberries.
09:46Well, obviously, yes, but...
09:48Ooh!
09:49Well, obviously, said madam.
09:51Now, the judges are looking for a light Genoese sponge.
09:55You love a Genoese sponge.
09:57I love a Genoese sponge.
09:58You've never made a Genoese in your life, but you just love saying Genoese.
10:02Genoese.
10:03Imagine Paul whispering to your ear, Genoese.
10:08It'd be enough to make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up.
10:12Ooh, go in our cold shower, you mucky bitch.
10:15Filled with a pistachio creme musseline.
10:18Creme musseline.
10:19That sounds gorgeous.
10:22Everything seems to be a pistachio at the moment.
10:25Is that a nut?
10:26Yes, a green nut.
10:28Paul would also like you to make an exquisite sugar glass dome to house your dessert.
10:34Get out of here!
10:35Oh!
10:36Fucking hell!
10:37God!
10:38How do you do that then?
10:39It's bake-off!
10:40Not glassblowers!
10:43Paul, I know it's semi-final week, but...
10:47This is perfect French patisserie.
10:49Oh!
10:50Look at that, look!
10:51Is that what it's going to look like?
10:52I wonder where Paul bought that from?
10:55The issue is going to be the musseline.
10:57Could have told you that.
10:58What are you dictating?
11:00I think that dome is going to be a problem, too.
11:03That looks impossible.
11:04That looks literally impossible.
11:05Yeah.
11:06I've seen those videos where people put cling film over something.
11:09You pour it on and, like, the heat of the caramel forces the cling film up, I think.
11:12Oh, really?
11:13What?
11:14Oh, that sounds good.
11:15That's what I would have done as well, yeah.
11:17Not to brag, but I knew they would do that.
11:20Going to drizzle quite slowly.
11:22Ooh.
11:23Oh, here we go.
11:24Don't know how to do this.
11:27This is so tricky.
11:28You should have no idea.
11:29Oh, there's a dome, Lee.
11:30There's a dome.
11:31Oh, wow!
11:32Oh!
11:33Fantastic!
11:34Oh, my goodness me.
11:36Oh!
11:37Oh, my God!
11:38That's like alchemy.
11:41Oh!
11:42Oh!
11:43Oh!
11:44Oh, it popped.
11:46I think it's a bit too domey.
11:47Oh, that's looking lovely.
11:49Domey.
11:50Oh, domey.
11:51Susan.
11:53Can someone open my freezer?
11:55No, I'm not helping you.
11:56No.
11:57I want to sabotage you.
11:59Oh, no!
12:00He smashed it.
12:01Oh, he smashed it, the tit.
12:03What were we thinking?
12:04Why were we ramming it in the freezer?
12:06That were a beautiful dome.
12:08That's a typical man rushing at something, Mary, isn't it?
12:11Yeah.
12:12That's what it's...
12:13Oh!
12:14Oh, here we go.
12:18Oh, oh!
12:19They always rush.
12:20They're always going,
12:21moop, moop, moop.
12:22It's awful.
12:23Ooh!
12:24Oh, look.
12:25Bleeding Mousseline.
12:26Oh, no.
12:27That's a bleeding Mousseline.
12:28But I ever saw one.
12:31Film's coming off.
12:36Toby's actually don't look half bad to...
12:38Oh!
12:39Oh!
12:40Oh, it's not set.
12:42Look at this.
12:43Oh, no!
12:44Paul and Pru are looking for a perfectly set Pistachio Mousseline.
12:45Oh, no.
12:46Freaking hell.
12:47Oh!
12:48Oh, this is why I love this programme.
12:49No way!
12:50Did it just melt out?
12:51I better think, hurry up, judge mine before it disappears.
12:52What is this?
12:53Are they even going to eat it?
12:54There is a sponge there.
12:55I think the Mousseline's been the issue.
12:56I think the Mousseline's been the issue.
12:57I still think it looks tasty, you know.
12:58Can you put that all into a bowl?
12:59It's a trifle.
13:00A very good trifle.
13:01A very good trifle.
13:02Oh, no.
13:03Oh, no.
13:04Oh, no.
13:05Freaking hell.
13:06Oh, this is why I love this programme.
13:07No way!
13:08Did it just melt out?
13:09I better think, hurry up, judge mine before it disappears.
13:12What is this?
13:15Are they even going to eat it?
13:17There is a sponge there.
13:18I think the Mousseline's been the issue.
13:20I still think it looks tasty, you know.
13:22Can you put that all into a bowl?
13:24It's a trifle.
13:25Very good trifle.
13:26Very good trifle.
13:27It's a very nice trifle, but it's not what they asked for, Mary.
13:31Well, that is a very good point, though.
13:33Your mother made a nice trifle.
13:34She's never...
13:35Giles!
13:36On our wedding day, Mary, there were three separate trifles.
13:40She didn't, in her whole life of 91 years, ever once make trifle.
13:45Never mind.
13:46The wedding feast was a whole table of trifles, Mary.
13:50I'm sure.
13:51Well, if you persist with that, I'll have to take you to court for defamation.
13:55In Blackpool...
13:56I do love how all my in-laws are southern.
14:07And they're all about 20 foot tall.
14:09I had a picture with them the other day, right?
14:11And I'm stood there, and me and Jimmy look like we're the same age,
14:16compared to all of them.
14:18Pete and his little sister Sophie.
14:20It is quite a nice picture.
14:24You look about three foot.
14:26Even the grandad Charlie's taller than you.
14:30Yeah, well, he's six foot four, this is what I'm saying.
14:33All her family are six foot four, and I'm with the kids.
14:37I'm in the kids' section.
14:39You are down the...
14:40If that were a football squad, you'd be on your knees.
14:43Lucky me.
14:49In the Cotswolds...
14:51Don't know, I've got a surprise.
14:52You know, I was trying to buy things for Halloween.
14:54Oh, my God, stop it.
14:55I've got this for Perkins for Halloween.
14:58Oh, my God.
14:59He's going to look so sick.
15:00Andrew and his husband Alfie.
15:02Put it on.
15:03Would you like to try your little Halloween outfit?
15:05Come on.
15:06Look.
15:07How do you like it, Perk?
15:09Oh, a little baby spider.
15:12There you go.
15:13Look, there you go.
15:15With your little Halloween-y outfit.
15:18He's got ten, twelve eggs.
15:21There he is.
15:22How do you like it, Perks?
15:24Are you enjoying that?
15:25I don't think you are, actually, at the moment.
15:27On Wednesday night, there was only one place to be on the BBC
15:32as the Faithfuls continued to be kept in the dark.
15:36Is he any need?
15:37Really?
15:38No.
15:39I'm getting the ambience.
15:40What do you think?
15:42People all think I've had a power coat.
15:43I haven't paid the electric.
15:45Not a single traitor has been caught.
15:47It's literally, like, laughable.
15:49How can they not see it's Jonathan?
15:52They keep talking about him.
15:54Why are they not voting for him?
15:56Alan Carr sat there sniggering at every round table
15:59and no-one's even said his name.
16:05It is all going down in Trader Town.
16:11Isn't that just normally called the green room?
16:13Today's plan is get round the Faithfuls, see where they're at.
16:19So far, all they've done is vote Faithfuls out.
16:21What is he talking about?
16:23And then get at least three others to vote in the same way
16:29and catch our first traitor.
16:31Jonathan Ross looks like a traitor.
16:33As it's gone on, he looks more and more treacherous.
16:35Yeah.
16:36But he defends himself very well, you know.
16:38That traitor is Jonathan in my eyes.
16:41You've nailed it.
16:42Yes.
16:43Joe, that's all you need to do now is convince a few of the others.
16:46Yeah.
16:47Joe and Kat.
16:48Yeah.
16:49Will you come with me if I vote for Jonathan tonight?
16:51Now, Celia's always thought it was Jonathan.
16:53Yeah, but look who was there when she said that.
16:56Kat.
16:57Yeah.
16:58Oh!
16:59Kat's going to say.
17:00Let's make a pact because the thing is, I think we don't talk about it too much
17:04because I don't want the traitors to warn each other.
17:06What's Kat going to do?
17:07She can't get in a pact and vote off a fellow traitor.
17:09Nope.
17:10Oh!
17:11She's going to have to sacrifice Jonathan to save her own.
17:13Like a lamb.
17:14Sh!
17:15Hear the bird.
17:16Do you think we're closer now to getting a traitor to bib in a traitor?
17:19Oh, look!
17:20Here's next two of them!
17:21No.
17:22You know why?
17:23Why?
17:24Why would they?
17:25We haven't got any of them.
17:26But Kate is in a traitor sandwich.
17:27How can she not realise?
17:28She's the filling.
17:29Here's a way of looking at it.
17:30Who have we been strong on that we've been either steered away from or persuaded away from?
17:33The only one I was strong on last night was Joe.
17:36Oh, I see.
17:37He's playing tit for tat.
17:39They're trying to get Kate to vote for Joe now.
17:42And I have problems for Joe.
17:43And I was steered away from him.
17:44Did you vote for Joe as well?
17:45I voted for Joe.
17:46Oh, Alan Clark is so adorable to me these days.
17:49I just want to kiss him.
17:51Do you want to marry him then?
17:52No, no, no.
17:53He's not interested in women.
17:55Well, you might swing it.
17:57Always beware of someone who keeps pushing someone else forward strongly.
18:02Why are you doing that when you've got no proof?
18:05Alan!
18:06The brass neck!
18:07Yeah.
18:08Unbelievable.
18:09Yes!
18:10Kate!
18:11Wake up!
18:12She can't see Woodford Tresa.
18:13She can't see Woodford Tresa.
18:15Honest to God.
18:19Round table.
18:20There's eight left.
18:21And there's still three traitors.
18:23Yeah.
18:24Faithful.
18:25So far, the traitors have got away with murder.
18:28They have!
18:29The floor is yours.
18:31This is going to be carnage.
18:33Come on, go where you get the ceiling now.
18:35Jonathan.
18:36Jonathan.
18:37The thing is, it's make or break tonight.
18:39Seriously.
18:40Yeah.
18:41If you don't get one tonight, it's going to be shocking.
18:43I'd like to speak.
18:44Please.
18:45Ooh!
18:46Go on, Kat!
18:47I just wanted to just be honest in that I'm a bit suspicious of you, Jonathan.
18:54Ooh!
18:55Ooh!
18:56Ooh!
18:57Oh!
18:58The double bluff!
18:59Oh, the double bluff!
19:00Love that!
19:01Now it's every man for themselves!
19:02Oh, God!
19:03That's right!
19:04You see?
19:05Do you see what he's doing?
19:06Alan can't believe.
19:07What are you watching?
19:08Alan's like, this is ridiculous.
19:09Whose side are you on?
19:10But I mean, if that's what you're feeling is, I'm telling you, you're not going to be pleased
19:14with the end results.
19:15You're not going to be happy with the end results.
19:17You're not going to be happy with the end results.
19:19There will be!
19:20Getting voted!
19:21Did you see Joe's face?
19:22And Joe's looking at him as if to say, it's you, mate.
19:25Players, the time for talk is over.
19:29Ooh, here we are.
19:30Beautiful.
19:31Come on.
19:32Ooh!
19:33What's going to happen?
19:34I can't call it, Jane.
19:35Nor can I.
19:36Joe, we'll start with you.
19:38Who do you believe is a traitor?
19:39Jonathan.
19:40Jonathan.
19:41Wave to ask Joe.
19:43Big dog.
19:44I can't shake my gut, mate.
19:46I've come with you.
19:48Right, so he's definitely gone for Jonathan.
19:52Defos.
19:53Cat.
19:55Look at Alan.
19:56This is telling.
19:57What's she going to do?
19:58Is it traitor on traitor?
20:00I bet it's for you, Jonathan.
20:03Betrayal!
20:04She's a traitor.
20:05Wow, what chutzpah.
20:06What a great piece of play.
20:11Look at his face.
20:12Jonathan can't believe it, can he?
20:14Fantastic.
20:15Go yourself, doll.
20:16I'm going for Jonathan.
20:18Oh, no.
20:19Yes, yes, yes.
20:21Finally.
20:22Nick, who do you believe is a traitor?
20:24If it's Jonathan, he's gone.
20:25Jonathan, I've reluctantly voted for you.
20:28Oh, that's four.
20:29Four for Jonathan now.
20:31Alan.
20:33Oh, what's he put in?
20:35Alan's going to go for Joe, surely.
20:37Oh, is Alan going to throw his mate under the bus?
20:40I'm so sorry, Jonathan.
20:41Oh!
20:42Oh, no!
20:44Bloody hell!
20:47Oh!
20:48You know your friends are, don't you, like?
20:50And for the final vote, Kate.
20:52Kate Garroway's pork chicken teriyaki.
20:54She thought she was writing what she wanted for tea.
20:57Yeah.
20:58She's not with it, is she?
20:59Bless her.
21:00In for a penny, in for a pound.
21:01I've gone for you, Jonathan.
21:03Oh!
21:04Oh!
21:08Jonathan is gone-a-thon.
21:10No.
21:11Jonathan, you have received the most votes.
21:13Please come up here and join me.
21:15Oh!
21:16Oh, my God!
21:17The mask is coming off!
21:19Holy shit!
21:20Jonathan's already smirking!
21:21Go on, Jonathan, tell them all the news.
21:24Tell them all!
21:25I've got no idea what everyone's doing wrong.
21:28I cannot believe you've done it again.
21:30Oh!
21:31He's winding them up.
21:32I cannot believe that...
21:34Look at Joe's like, what?
21:35No, Joe's thinking, no!
21:39I am now, and I have been all through the game completely faithful.
21:43What?
21:44No!
21:45Why are you saying that?
21:46Please, don't you!
21:47It's lying!
21:48Am I missing somebody yet?
21:57To the traitors!
22:02Yeah!
22:03Yeah!
22:04Oh!
22:05I love Jonathan!
22:06But I think now, that will firm Joe Mahler's position as a faithful.
22:13About bloody time!
22:14I know!
22:15What has this been going on for?
22:16Oh!
22:17Didn't they start in the summer?
22:18Yeah!
22:19Yeah, but you dubbed me in as well, so I don't know what you're saying.
22:22Jenny!
22:23Because if we were sat round the table, you'd say it's Jenny.
22:26I wouldn't!
22:27I wouldn't!
22:28You lying get!
22:29You look at me in my face and tell me you would do it!
22:32The second night, yeah!
22:33Yeah!
22:34Yeah!
22:44In Suri...
22:45Look at your dad's eyebrow!
22:46Jay, can you cut it off?
22:47Every week I sit here and it frustrates me so much!
22:51Sarah, her husband Andre, and their daughter Shay.
22:55It's part of me, innit?
22:56Leave it alone!
22:57Look, it's gone from here, so I've got to have it here!
22:59Wait!
23:02Leave it, man!
23:03Wait!
23:04Leave it now!
23:05It won't hurt, I promise!
23:06Yeah!
23:07Listen, leave it.
23:08It doesn't hurt!
23:09Leave it alone, it's fine.
23:10Thank you very much.
23:11Leave it alone.
23:12You need tweezers for that, mate.
23:14You can't pull it.
23:15Ah!
23:16Got it!
23:18On Friday night, there were more tools, timber and tiers on BBC One.
23:23Just put this all together, Jane.
23:25Ready for DIY SOS.
23:28I need DIY SOS to get me a downstairs toilet.
23:31No, cos the people on DIY SOS really deserve it, don't they?
23:35You are not deserving of DIY SOS just for a downstairs loom.
23:40Would you ever, you know, offer your building trades up to DIY SOS?
23:51Yeah, why not?
23:54I've come to Eltham in South London.
23:56Eltham?
23:57Oh!
23:58Eltham in South London?
24:00Yeah, they want to give a sign with this.
24:03Where almost two years ago to the day, mum of five, Zoe,
24:06had a terrible accident at home and died.
24:09Oh, God.
24:10Oh, that is awful.
24:12Ooh, that's deep.
24:13The children had to come to terms with the loss of their mother
24:16and, against all the odds, have rallied together to stay together.
24:20The trouble is, with all of them living in the house,
24:22there just isn't enough room.
24:24Just like in our house.
24:25Feels like I'm in HMP prison.
24:28Their rooms are probably bigger.
24:30Sadie?
24:31You ready?
24:32I'm coming.
24:33Have you done your homework?
24:35Aww.
24:36Was that the big brother?
24:37He looks so young.
24:38He'd be having to be, like, the parent.
24:41She?
24:42Oh, is he cutting the cupboard?
24:43You want a coffee?
24:44I don't drink coffee anymore.
24:45He's one of those, like, houses, like how we were having, like, flipping...
24:49Mummy having nine of us, you know what I mean?
24:51And, like, everyone's just flipping packed in one room
24:53or that room or whatever, you know?
24:55I'm not up to the standard that my mum was doing.
24:58She was just a superwoman.
25:00Oh, bless you.
25:02She'd be so proud of you, lad.
25:04Happy birthday, dear Mummy.
25:08Oh, God, this is where it starts.
25:12So, February 18th, 2023.
25:14Yay!
25:17I'd had a few phone calls with my mum.
25:19All of a sudden, the phone cut out.
25:21Wow.
25:22And then, probably about 15 minutes later,
25:25Shay called me and just literally was like, Mum's dead.
25:29Mum's dead.
25:30Oh, my God.
25:31Oh, my God.
25:32Just like that, life changed.
25:34She fell down the stairs and she broke her neck.
25:36Oh, wow.
25:38Determined to keep the family together,
25:41Summer and Samuel became the legal guardians
25:43for 17-year-old Shay, 11-year-old Sadie
25:46and seven-year-old Seth,
25:48who's blind, autistic and has chronic kidney disease.
25:51Oh, the only young as well.
25:54Oh, that's a big responsibility.
25:56So, Samuel does everything during the week,
25:59all of the housework stuff,
26:01just keeping everything together.
26:04That's what family's about, isn't it?
26:05Yeah.
26:06Pull it together.
26:07That's what family's about.
26:08I'd love for him to just go,
26:10right, get on right move and pick whichever house you want.
26:14We'll pay for it.
26:15It does kind of semi-defeat the point of DIY SOS, though.
26:19It wasn't long before Nick discovered just how cramped
26:22the family home was.
26:24The loft?
26:25Yeah, that's Samuel's room.
26:26Oh, Sam's in the loft?
26:27Yeah.
26:28Yeah.
26:29Oh!
26:30So, Sam's in the loft.
26:31She's in the cupboard.
26:33Wow.
26:34Do you know they definitely deserve this makeover for sure.
26:38Justice Bill, I don't live in a place like this.
26:41I can barely get through the hole.
26:42Typical boy's room.
26:43Just picking his undies up off the floor
26:45as Nick knows he's coming up the ladder.
26:47You're actually living in a space that you shouldn't really be living in.
26:50Right, Nick, you need to work some magic and more here
26:53because we need to get Samuel out of that room.
26:56Garden, how big is it?
26:57It's actually a very long garden
26:59and at the end there was a really dilapidated garage
27:02but it all had a load of asbestos in
27:04so we had to have that cleared out.
27:05Ah, fair.
27:06What's that sounding like, darling?
27:07Oh, little bit of an outbuilding.
27:09Oh, yeah.
27:10I think that's a good idea, isn't it?
27:11Put one in the garden.
27:12Garden!
27:13Anything!
27:14Right on schedule, the four and a half ton garden pod has also arrived.
27:18A pod?
27:19Are they going to have like a little separate annex?
27:22That'd be good for summer, wouldn't it?
27:24Look at the reach on that crane.
27:27Wow!
27:28Look at the crane!
27:29Look at that!
27:30Why are we excited about a crane?
27:32Because you don't see that every day.
27:34I know, I know.
27:35But do you see that?
27:36Another three or four inches makes all the difference.
27:38He said that before.
27:42Boom!
27:43Perfect!
27:44Oh, that's it. It's staying there.
27:45Yay!
27:46Well done!
27:47Look at that.
27:48Well done, boys.
27:51I thought you were going to see it.
27:52Oh, hands over there.
27:53Oh, here we go.
27:54The big reveal, sure.
27:55I love this.
27:56Oh, this is going to be emotional.
27:58I hope it's beautiful for them
28:01because they deserve it.
28:02I'm going to cry again now.
28:03But everything has changed.
28:06Oh, wait till we see that lake!
28:08Oh, my God!
28:09This house is now a proper, functional family home.
28:13Wow!
28:15Look at that!
28:16It's like the Tardis.
28:17Wow!
28:18I'm so happy for them.
28:23Oh, look at Samuel's bedroom!
28:28This is mad!
28:29Sounds buzzing!
28:30Look!
28:31He was living in the loft, wasn't he?
28:32Yeah.
28:33This is the best.
28:34This is the happiest I've ever been.
28:36Oh!
28:37Oh, that's so sweet.
28:38It's the happiest I've ever been.
28:41Oh, my God!
28:42This is sick!
28:44Yeah, sick!
28:46Look at size of that!
28:47He had that tiny cupboard before.
28:49This is so new, bro.
28:51This is so cool.
28:52Sick!
28:54It is quality, isn't he?
28:55They have done a mega job.
28:57I don't quite have the words to convey the gratitude that I have for every single person here.
29:03But what I can say is that we will give our thanks by thriving off of the opportunity that you all have bestowed upon us.
29:13What a family.
29:14The love that runs through that house that the mum provided is still there.
29:19So, from the bottom of my heart, genuinely, thank you for changing our lives.
29:24They're so nice and so humble.
29:28And so humble.
29:29Yeah.
29:30You deserve it, Samuel.
29:31Aw!
29:32You all do.
29:33That was the best thing I've ever watched.
29:36Do you know what?
29:37We might see those kids in the high street.
29:40Mightn't we?
29:41Well, you might.
29:42And if we do, I'm going to talk to them and say, do you know what?
29:45I think you're all a fricking lovely family.
29:49Oh.
29:50And well done.
29:51And your mum did a good job bringing you up.
29:53In Surrey.
29:58I had a nightmare this week, Simon.
30:00What happened?
30:01Went to bed.
30:02Nine o'clock-ish.
30:03Went to sleep.
30:04Simon and his sister Jane.
30:06Heard my alarm.
30:08I woke up.
30:09I jumped out of bed.
30:10I was like, oh, my God.
30:11I'm so tired.
30:12Oh, my God.
30:13This feels ridiculous.
30:15Surely this can't be right.
30:16I came down, put the kettle on.
30:18I thought, that's weird.
30:20My neighbour's up.
30:21She's never up at five past six.
30:23I came in here.
30:25Five past twelve.
30:26At night?
30:27Yes.
30:28I'd been asleep three hours.
30:30I thought, what the bloody hell?
30:33On Friday, BBC News had something for the weekend.
30:38Grace, what are you doing?
30:40What did the news on?
30:42Huh?
30:43What was you looking then?
30:45What's the matter?
30:47Grace, have you got some weird habits?
30:50A bit liquid, but salt will stick to it.
30:53Oh, I see.
30:54Oh, I couldn't eat it like that.
30:56Oh, lovely mum.
30:57Fresh tomato.
30:58Now, in case you've forgotten, the clocks go back this weekend.
31:01So we lose an hour.
31:03We gain an hour, Jane.
31:05It's beautiful.
31:06Offering an opportunity for an extra hour in bed.
31:09Oh, an extra hour in bed.
31:11Extra hour in bed?
31:12You know.
31:13How can you have an extra hour in bed?
31:15You get up whenever you want, anyway.
31:16Right?
31:17Like, you haven't got kids.
31:18Well...
31:19So you're a lazy bastard, you know.
31:20Well...
31:21The people who it impacts the most are the people who've got kids.
31:24You know, I feel sorry for Paige.
31:26Awful it is.
31:27But daylight saving time doesn't work for everyone.
31:33Do you actually know why they do the clocks going forwards and backwards?
31:36It's something to do with the farmers, isn't it?
31:38That's right.
31:39For some, changing the clocks twice a year disrupts sleep patterns,
31:42potentially contributing to health problems.
31:45Ooh, there we are.
31:46I never knew that.
31:48What, by an hour, however?
31:49What's the real time?
31:51I don't know.
31:53Is it dinner time?
31:56It's the weekend to change the clocks.
31:58An extra hour in bed.
32:00Oh, God.
32:01What?
32:02The microwave and the oven.
32:04You've never even had it close to the real time.
32:06I wouldn't worry about changing an hour.
32:08My oven is.
32:09My oven's close to the real time.
32:10I rely on...
32:11Well, I do look at the oven, I do look at the kitchen clock,
32:13and then I look at my echo.
32:15Then I know the correct time.
32:18But also, for some, a disruption to sleep patterns,
32:21a topic that's of increasing concern.
32:24No, it isn't.
32:25Talk about a monger creation scheme.
32:28This will be the next thing that reform dive on.
32:31The UK did abolish the clock change in the 60s.
32:35Did they?
32:36Don't you remember that?
32:37No.
32:38You must have been in your 20s.
32:39Must have been in bed.
32:40But the effects, such as going to school in the dark in the north,
32:44led to us reverting back in the 70s.
32:47Course it'd be the north.
32:48Course it'd be the north.
32:4950 years on, it's sleep health experts leading the campaign against it.
32:54Sleep experts?
32:55That's a made-up job.
32:56Yeah.
32:57Well, then maybe, because it's been 50 years since we scrapped it,
33:01we should give it another go and see how it goes.
33:03No!
33:04I like that extra hour in bed.
33:06I don't want it scrappy.
33:07I'm always proud when I wake up and it's wake up to money,
33:11because that means I'm up way before seven o'clock.
33:13Wake up to money?
33:14Yeah.
33:15A radio show.
33:16Oh.
33:17And that means I'm up proper.
33:19Why on earth would you listen to it?
33:24Wake up to money?
33:25Is this telling you how to manage your money every day?
33:27We're talking about finances and the financial world and stuff.
33:30Extra hour.
33:31Extra hour.
33:32Bloody hell!
33:33Do you not wake up casually with a bit of wham and...
33:36It's not for everyone.
33:38Clearly!
33:39I mean...
33:40Made you full straight into business before seven.
33:41It's good stuff, Jane.
33:42Oh, I get a big of the bell if you're, you know,
33:45up before seven on the school run.
33:47Bloody hell.
33:49Wake up to money.
33:50Do you change that when you have girlfriends over for the night?
33:54Yeah.
33:55Wake up, darling.
33:56Yeah.
34:01In home...
34:06Hey, don't forget to put your clock back tonight.
34:08Tomorrow.
34:09No, it's tonight.
34:10Tomorrow!
34:11Saturday.
34:12Put your clocks back an hour.
34:13Tomorrow.
34:14Best friends Jenny and Lee.
34:16Years ago, because I used to think when we was in nightclubs was open.
34:19Yeah.
34:20I used to go, ooh, so what happens then at two o'clock?
34:22Yeah.
34:23Do they go back to one o'clock?
34:24So we've got an extra hour, so we leave at three.
34:26Yeah.
34:27Really, but you're leaving at two, really, because you put the hour back four back.
34:30Yeah.
34:31So then, instead of leaving at two, you're going at one, but you're having more time in
34:34the bar, because you're having another extra hour.
34:36So you're not really leaving at three, you're leaving at two.
34:39Do you know what I mean?
34:40Yeah, I'd have gone by 12.
34:41I didn't get any of that.
34:44This week, another load of lovebirds were on the last leg of their dating journey on Netflix.
34:50We're quite a bit on in Love is Blind now.
34:52We're at the weddings.
34:54Yes.
34:55The amount of love...
34:57Did I mention I'm engaged?
34:59Now that we're going to be watching the weddings, you're going to get all the inspo for your wedding?
35:04Probably not, I'm a picky bitch.
35:05Well, I've got to remind Nat of the ten-year deadline.
35:10You do?
35:11What'll you do if I get engaged before your ten-year deadline?
35:15Oh, I wouldn't be bothered.
35:16I'd be happy for you.
35:18In the program, we caught up with couple Calibra and Edmund, who were getting ready to tie the knot.
35:29Hey, okay, it's the pad.
35:32Yes, my man, looking down.
35:34Wow, look.
35:36He's smiling, he's looking happy.
35:38I made it.
35:39I've never had a love like this.
35:41It's everything I prayed for.
35:43Everything he's prayed for, bless him.
35:46He seems smitten with her, doesn't he?
35:48I hope it works out for you, Edmund.
35:51How long have they known each other? Five minutes?
35:53Five minutes.
35:54When I look at Edmund, I see a loving man.
35:56I see a trying man.
35:59I see a healing man.
36:01She's saying all the right things, she's making all the right noises.
36:04They're both so emotional towards each other, this is a good sign.
36:08Very good sign, that's how it's supposed to be.
36:10I am minutes away from my wedding.
36:15He is keen.
36:16So he's obviously going to be chomping at the bit to say yes.
36:19Yes.
36:20I can't imagine.
36:21I'm feeling so good.
36:23Woo!
36:25Woo!
36:26He's living in your old Edmund there.
36:28It's very good noise.
36:29You can do that, Natty.
36:31You can go, whoa!
36:33Whoa!
36:34You're doing it, Natty.
36:35Yeah.
36:36You do it very well.
36:37You do it.
36:38No, I've got a frog in my throat.
36:40Whoa!
36:41He's so happy!
36:42Oh, no, you see.
36:43I think this is going to be a match made in heaven.
36:44Yeah.
36:45He looks at her like he really loves her.
36:46Can I get her?
36:47Yeah.
36:48It's so beautiful.
36:49This is going to be the best day of their lives, isn't it?
36:50Yeah.
36:51It's going to be.
36:52Well, let's hope it is.
36:53I love you so much.
36:54Yeah.
36:55I wish you'd be a bit more clear about how he felt, don't you?
36:57Everything we talked about, like our future, the kids, I'm really ready for it all, hold
37:18me accountable.
37:19It's quite turbo, isn't it?
37:21this isn't it she's like she's having to have a deep breath here yeah i am so happy that it's
37:26you that i fell in love with you've shaped me you've helped me grow oh that's good they're
37:31both on the same page thank god for that i love the hell out of you i love the hell out of you
37:36all right we get the gist oh this is getting tiresome okay after saying you love the hell
37:41out of someone there is no way this to go south in my opinion will you get married and commit to
37:48face life together as husband and wife right here we go like this is it i do he said i do
37:55well of course he kind of saw it coming
37:57calabria oh the music the music change why did the music change what was that tolling of a bell noise
38:09what does that mean do you take edmund to be your lawfully wedded husband to happen to hold from
38:15this day forward to love honor and cherish in sickness and health nah okay with me eye contact
38:24now oh no doubtful she's looking doubtful she's looking doubtful not down calabria for as long
38:30as you both shall live
38:31it's just not giving the right vibe at the moment you're anxiety what's going on why am i
38:41feeling weird jane why am i asking what's going on why am i feeling weird oh shit oh say yes
38:52you silly woman
38:53i actually felt that i felt that forever now oh my god fuck i'm so sorry
39:11oh my edmund man my heart's breaking for him what sort of a television program is this jane
39:21this is horrible this is like a puppy getting kicked
39:24the house was going to die oh friggin he's like a stick to his heart well hey she
39:32waltzed him up the garden path didn't she oh now she's let him down like a sack of shit
39:39what the fuck oh don't laugh lee oh don't please you are a bad bastard you
39:48in blackpool that candle in there's fucking made my head go away home bargains fellas
39:57cheap cheese no it was 12 quid pete and his little sister sophie who spends 12 pound on a candle
40:06that's a nice one i don't get it there's no there's nothing like that i would spend 12 pound on
40:13there's pomegranate the wall i couldn't give a fuck pomegranate nice one yeah well tuna salad yeah
40:19well it's not the one upstairs on sunday night vicky mcclure was fiddling about with explosives
40:29gain on itv oh trigger point oh i love that gets the heart going oh it does oh is he come on give
40:37us a bicky mcclure here i've got you a bicky mcclure see does it trigger fine i'm actually
40:42excited that this is back last time we watched it was it was going off it was nail baiting in it
40:46yeah it was going off in the episode we saw vicky and her bomb squad getting another call out
40:56what we got call came in half an hour ago witness saw the vehicle park driver get out face covered
41:02is that a taxi yeah bit of a random place to put a device in a black cab what's the latest on inside
41:09the vehicle we've gone as far as we can with the drone we can't see anyone sir right there's no one
41:13in the vehicle mm-hmm god drones do not come in handy don't they hold positions
41:22what's she saying what is it she's sensing something shush
41:25someone's in there someone is in there oh friggin hell he frightened me to death
41:37help help what are you doing in there you silly old git he's a hostage mary maybe
41:44oh confess to what confess or die is he done something he must have done
41:57this is just the beginning steve wow and it's already got me grit
42:01she's got a full bomb gear on there oh look at her oh look at she's she can hardly walk
42:16wow man she doesn't give a shit does she i'm sorry but it always seems like she's on a mission to
42:20end herself yeah don't be a hero vicky why not that's her job oh okay
42:32that's good drill what did you mumble dad did you say that's a good drill yeah
42:41oh be careful please oh no no no no no i can't die here please you're not gonna die
42:48i mean you might die i wouldn't promise him that yeah he's in there with a bomb okay what's your name
42:54um ned quick question ned how have you ended up here then yeah
42:58i'll end up in a cab in the middle of a field with a bomb inside it
43:06oh the clock's going up why is it going up ned please if you can just stay as still as you can
43:12for me so i can work okay yeah stay right in that cab until i give you the code okay you're sitting on a
43:18very sensitive set of scales oh it's based on weight you're joking so if he leaves he's dead have you
43:26got any family ned no no is that the bombing ned oh my god look at the size of that bastard that looks
43:34very sophisticated don't it oh my god oh my god what when a bomb disposal expert goes oh my god
43:44yeah yeah there's something going that high on the graph that's a little bit worrying
43:48bronze command expo one we have a gray flag a gray flag well i wonder what that is there is a chemical
43:56weapon in the cab oh oh my days oh i'm frightened to death of chemical weapons ellie i don't want
44:02another trucking no i'm gonna level with you nad okay part of the device is designed to release gas
44:07into the cab oh lord it just gets worse doesn't it that is a brutal death oh my god he said he'd blow
44:15it up at midday if i don't if you don't want confess the clock oh she's got less than four minutes
44:28right the weight can go up but can't go below make it heavier i need to increase the weight do you know
44:35how much you weigh uh 12 12 and a half stone is that the confession oh that was handy being there
44:49wasn't it yeah now if she'd have asked me if i was in that taxi how much do you weigh i'd have
44:53shaved off a cup of stone there's not enough breeze blocks in that park to help me
44:57oh oh my god got 30 seconds get out the cab i can't just get out of the car you dick it won't
45:13trigger the device getting out the cab but i can't stop the timer oh no just go quick oh oh you silly
45:19man let's get out run 57 go back go back 58 uh-oh uh-oh right addy up you haven't got a long list
45:33jesus here we go here we go he's gonna blow
45:41what oh well that's a load of shit is that fucking it a bit boring really i like a bank
45:49yeah gas gas get up no vicky absolutely smashed that didn't she if i'm ever in a situation i want
46:01i want vicky mcclure you see if i was the guy in the taxi you know cool as a cucumber i would be
46:07asking loads of questions to vicky yeah how long have you been in the bomb disposal game love what time
46:13you're on sale you've been busy what time you're on in the back of a standard back of the taxi chat
46:31well it's the final of bake off next week but there is still time to catch up with any of the new series
46:37you've missed it's streaming now and join tom daly as he swaps the diving board for the yarn barn to find
46:43britain's best knitter the game of wool begins sunday at eight here on channel four stay with us for the
46:49last leg live next
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