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GUTFELD! (FULL EPISODE) | OCTOBER 14, 2025

#GUTFELD #FOX NEWS #COMEDY

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00:00Yes, yes, yes, I know, oh, yeah, over you, yes, you, please remember on the way out,
00:24leave your wet towels with Brigham.
00:26Happy Tuesday, everyone.
00:30Reportedly, former President Joe Biden is having trouble adjusting to civilian life after more than 50 years in politics.
00:39True.
00:40Now when he calls a lid, it's to go coffin shopping.
00:48Hard to believe it's already the third week of the government shutdown.
00:52Things have gotten so rough out there that Ilhan Omar just told her brother that he has to pay for dinner.
00:59Or she won't put out.
01:03The trash.
01:06After they have sex.
01:09With different people.
01:10In the family.
01:18Adopted family.
01:20Last year, View co-host Alyssa Farrah Griffin promised to wear a MAGA hat if Trump got the hostages out.
01:29But Trump said he's willing to forget the promise if the others swear to wear MAGA paper bags.
01:43Speaking of, on today's show, Joy Behar said, quote, Republicans are afraid of us.
01:50Come on.
01:51Come on.
01:52It's not like being a stupid bitch is contagious.
01:58It was actually worse.
02:02The original draft.
02:04I'm not kidding.
02:05Secretary of War Pete Hegseth says he's removed fat National Guard soldiers that were deployed to Chicago.
02:12But if other soldiers start purposely gaining weight, they will be charged with deserting.
02:27I'm ashamed of that.
02:31President Trump called his picture on Time Magazine's cover the worst.
02:36But hey, he's not the only person who's mad at Time.
02:42Yeah, that was a good one.
02:48Kamala Harris claims Trump is using the military to attack American cities and the people who live there.
02:54It's true.
02:54She recently got bombed in San Francisco.
02:59Whereas she was assaulted by Captain Morgan.
03:05Can't win them all.
03:06Nobel Prize winner John Gurdon, known for his expertise in cloning, has died at the age of 92.
03:14He's survived by his sons, John Gurdon, John Gurdon, John Gurdon, and John Gurdon.
03:23And finally, photos emerged of Katy Perry making out with Justin Trudeau on a yacht.
03:28I know.
03:29I didn't know Katy was into black dudes.
03:36All right.
03:38So after 738 days, Hamas handed the last living Israeli hostages over,
03:43and the region took the first real step towards something that looks like peace.
03:47A peace where two sides that hate each other can agree to coexist.
03:51So, there is hope for others.
03:58But that's not Trump fan fiction.
04:01That's the reality from the world's headlines.
04:03But not everyone rejoiced, of course.
04:05Because nothing makes douchebags sadder than a peace deal that Donald Trump brokered.
04:10Because they can't let go of the past.
04:12It's like hating the doctor who saves your life just because he once banged your mom over spring break.
04:18Let it go, Steve.
04:23But the professionally miserable are never happy unless they're right.
04:29On cue, New York Times dropped these headlines.
04:31Quote, as Trump takes a victory lap, he avoids questions about what's next.
04:36And even amid celebrations, a sense of gloom pervades Gaza.
04:42You know, I wonder what these dopes tell their kids on Christmas morning.
04:45Remember, kids, while you're playing Operation, millions go without adequate health coverage.
04:51Oh, did you know sliding down that chimney gives Santa increased risk of mesothelioma?
04:59And also, elves are slave labor.
05:03They even fretted, quote,
05:06What happened to campus activism against the war in Gaza?
05:10In other words, remember the good old days when Jews were afraid to attend class?
05:15The Times even suggests Trump went too slow on the deal.
05:19So after decades and decades of war, they blamed the guy who just showed up and stopped it.
05:26You can feel the Times' disappointment.
05:29Sure, there's peace.
05:30But it's not worth it if we look dumb.
05:33Antony Blinken claims the deal was based on Biden's groundwork.
05:36No, the only groundwork Biden did was pressing the life alert after falling on the ground.
05:45So take those sour grapes and make wine for Kamala.
05:49Blinken was part of the foreign policy that brought us October 7th, the Afghan pullout,
05:53a resurgence in Iran, and Russia's incursion into Ukraine.
05:56Him showing up now for a victory lap is the diplomatic equivalent of the water boy
06:01flashing his championship ring to strangers.
06:04Then there's CNN's queen, bonkers herself, who said this.
06:10It's been a terrible, terrible two years for them because not only are they there,
06:15you know, they're probably being treated better than the average Gazan
06:18because they are the pawns and the chips that Hamas had.
06:21Now Hamas has given up all its leverage, by the way, by giving them all up.
06:25So that is a victory for the Israeli side.
06:28Oh my God. First lady, Greta Thunberg called. She wants her bangs back.
06:34But you'd think hostages freed would be a layup.
06:37Instead, we get a lecture from this asshole, Amanpour, whose name I believe is Farsi,
06:42for head up your ass.
06:43Meanwhile, on the day actual human beings left Hamas prisons, George Conway, remember him,
06:51hyped the upcoming No Kings protest with a video depicting Comey, Letitia James,
06:58John Bolton, and Jimmy Kimmel as heroes.
07:02Yeah, if that were a movie, they'd call it Three Men and a Baby.
07:05All right, you can, they see the joke.
07:16Meanwhile, the male Liz Cheney, i.e. Adam Kinzinger, says one sees fire doesn't make him a peacemaker,
07:24which is like saying you're not a firefighter if you don't put out every fire,
07:28or you're not a Clinton if you don't murder every political foe.
07:32But I get it.
07:35It's got to hurt to admit the obvious through clenched teeth.
07:38After calling everyday Americans who suck with Trump rubes and threats to democracy.
07:44So what's next for the never-Trumpers?
07:46They'll say the peace isn't permanent, that who deserves credit is complicated.
07:50No, it's not.
07:52It's as plain as the smiles on the hostages and their families' faces.
07:56No, not this time.
07:57It's simple.
07:58Yeah, it's not about Trump.
08:00It's about you and your self-doubt.
08:04You realize that if you're wrong on this, you are likely wrong about a lot of things.
08:10And there goes your identity.
08:12One firmly rooted in Trump derangement.
08:15Your derangement was scaffolding for your ego, and it's collapsing before your very eyes.
08:21But for many, that should mean freedom to finally get on with your life and think about
08:25things and people without this distorted filter, surely there's still some time to come back
08:31to sanity, where men are men, women are women, and peace deals are worth celebrating.
08:36But for those still lost in the sea of Trump hate, that's a fate worse than death.
08:41Let's welcome, here he is, tonight's guest, she's always outspoken and leaves liberals broken,
08:53Republican strategist, Harry Maguire.
08:57Like Preparation H, his jokes are meant to be topical, writer and comedian, Joe DeVito.
09:03She always has a lot on her plate, because she forgets to eat.
09:09New York Times bestselling author, and he makes his female fans feel like they're 80 again.
09:19Former NWA World Champion, Elsa Planet Dyer.
09:21So, Aaron, it's interesting to see how quickly they're already kind of shifting.
09:31But do you get a sense that even they don't believe in their Trump derangement anymore,
09:35that there might be, like, it might be kind of deflating?
09:38No.
09:39No.
09:39Hard no.
09:40I don't think they've learned anything from this, because you're already seeing that they
09:43haven't learned anything from this, right?
09:45They continue to try to undermine, right?
09:47The question is, what happens next to those with Trump derangement syndrome?
09:50Any number of things.
09:51One, they're going to continue to lie about the president's success.
09:54Two, for those pieces of it that they want to try and take credit for, you see Blinken out
09:58there trying to take credit for it.
10:00They will do everything to try and undermine the fact that Donald Trump did the exact opposite
10:05of what they thought he would do.
10:07They were all out there saying if he became president, it would be World War III, that
10:12we would be looking at global catastrophe.
10:14Instead, we see a geopolitical brilliance.
10:17We see a man who has ended, what, seven, eight conflicts in the, what, nine, ten months
10:22he's been back in office?
10:23This is a man who hasn't played by D.C.'s rules, and that's what upsets them the most.
10:28He took their power when he didn't take their nonsense from them, and that's why the American
10:32people are so supportive of him even now.
10:35It's why his numbers don't move, is because they know they're getting the God-honest truth
10:38from a man who's unafraid to punch the bully back.
10:41A lot of people, I mean, you're hearing from a lot of people who want to give me the credit
10:53for all of this.
10:54Yes.
10:54And you know I won't take it.
10:55No.
10:56Too hard.
10:57I'm not that kind of guy.
10:58What is your take on the response to this whole amazing achievement in the mainstream media class?
11:05Well, it's amazing, you see, they're already saying, sure, peace in Gaza, but what happens
11:09next?
11:09It's been a week.
11:10Yeah.
11:11Let's see what's happening now.
11:12Yes.
11:13That they won't give him the credit for it.
11:15I think what's amazing is that he was able to bring peace to Gaza before they could bring
11:20it to Chicago, which, it tells you Hamas, Hamas is easier to deal with than J.B. Pritzker.
11:29Yeah.
11:30Okay?
11:30And you don't see a lot of terrorists who look like him because you're not fitting him in a
11:34tunnel.
11:34Yeah, it's true.
11:36Yeah.
11:37And to Aaron's point about Biden trying to take credit for this, he even tweeted out,
11:41and I try not to get upset about Biden's tweets because I know he is not operating the phone.
11:46Yes.
11:46He has an iPhone that is set to, it has nine and one pressed, and then when he keels over,
11:52he presses the one.
11:53Yes.
11:53And they notice in the ambulance.
11:55Yes.
11:56But what drives him nuts is they keep saying he's crazy and he keeps getting things done
12:00because he is like, he's like a pilot, okay?
12:03And the world is crazy, but he sticks the landing.
12:06So he's Captain Sully, and the Democrats now are a bunch of drunks at the Spirit Air counter.
12:11Are you really trying to?
12:12Kat, what say you?
12:22Excellent question, Kat.
12:24I wanted to keep it open-ended because there's so many things to talk about.
12:27I do have a thought that whoever Hamas is now isn't the Hamas of a year ago or two years.
12:37My guess is everybody's dead, but like the four guys named Steve.
12:42Well, I hope, right?
12:46I mean, look, so you said the whole theme of your monologue is what are the never-Trumpers
12:51going to do?
12:53I would like to present some advice, actually, to Adam Kissinger specifically, which how he
13:00said that just because you make this deal doesn't make you a peacemaker.
13:03I wonder if he's ever considered that saying one nice thing about President Trump wouldn't
13:11mean anyone would think he was suddenly super ultra MAGA guy.
13:15Like, there's such a difference between, you don't have to be a Trump supporter to say you
13:19think peace in the Middle East is good.
13:22It is absolutely nuts that he can't not say that.
13:26Like, he can't stop himself from saying, it's like, it's almost as if it isn't about,
13:30because at first there was these people coming out acting like, oh, this is just what my values
13:34are telling me to do.
13:35And that's fine if you want to find things to criticize him on.
13:38But if you're going to do this, you can't just say this is a great thing, then it's
13:42clearly not about that for you anymore.
13:43You clearly enjoy the kind of attention from people that maybe ignored you for all these
13:47years because you were a Republican and suddenly liberals were being nice to you and you got
13:50addicted to it.
13:51Right.
13:52So he doesn't want to get rid of that.
13:53It's more about the brand that he's built for himself than the actual values.
13:56And this proves that.
13:57Again, I said it yesterday, I'll say it again.
13:58If Hillary Clinton can commend him on this after he ruined her life, then certainly you
14:05can just say, good job on this one.
14:08It shouldn't be that hard.
14:09It is amazing.
14:13I just got to add, the person that's probably worse than Kinzinger is Bill Kristol, because
14:19he's a well-known Jewish conservative.
14:22He won't even talk about what happened because Trump hate is now his career.
14:29He can't let go of it.
14:31Do you think it's ego or do you think it is like, this is my brand now?
14:35No, I think it's jealousy.
14:37Yeah.
14:37I think it's usually it always is.
14:40No one watches you closer than the people who hate you.
14:43Yes.
14:43Tell me about it.
14:44You know, so and they're watching and they're waiting for the fumble.
14:48And we've heard amazing depictions and descriptions of how this went down.
14:54I think my favorite one was, oh, now they think it's peace because Gaza is nothing but
14:59rumble.
14:59Whose fault was that?
15:01Yeah.
15:01It was Hamas's.
15:02Yeah.
15:03They decided whenever he came, he said, hey, take this deal.
15:07If you don't, there'll be consequences.
15:08And they're like, yeah, right.
15:10Lo and behold, consequences, which happened to be giant missiles.
15:15Blow them all to hell.
15:16Come on again.
15:17Hey, guys, there's another chance for you to save some kind of face and keep your, speaking
15:21of face, keep your face on your shoulders.
15:23Yeah.
15:24Sign the deal and we're good.
15:26Now, then lo and behold, guess what?
15:29More bombs and missiles.
15:30Now, they have nothing left.
15:33They can't hide all their vacation homes every time they go to Kuwait or Qatar or somewhere.
15:37Lo and behold, Israel's there waiting on them.
15:39Yeah.
15:40And they usually don't know it until the little red dot hits their forehead.
15:43Yeah.
15:44So they had every opportunity in the world to do this the easy way.
15:47They chose the hard way.
15:49And President Trump never, ever wavered.
15:51He gave them a few days.
15:52He gave you.
15:52You have 21 days.
15:53You have 91 days.
15:54And the hilarious thing to me is when somebody in the Biden administration had the temerity,
15:58the mitigated gall to say, we laid the ground.
16:01Yeah.
16:01That's like my great, great, great-grandsester said, well, I wrote the date on the Constitution.
16:04So they were poor.
16:06He wasn't in office yet and they had already handed it off to him.
16:10He was already making deals.
16:11He was always putting dates out there.
16:13You cannot negotiate hostages with an auto pen.
16:16It's impossible.
16:16Right.
16:17So the fact that they're even trying to take credit for this is laughing.
16:21Amen.
16:22All right.
16:24Hold your applause until later when we dance.
16:29Up next, Trump's comedy act.
16:32Donald Trump.
16:33Donald dishes on pretty ladies and whether he'll go to heaven or Hades.
16:46Aboard Air Force One, the press was asked about his prospects of getting into heaven in light
16:50of the Israel-Gaza peace deal he brokered.
16:52I wonder, how does this help?
16:54Does this help?
16:56How does this help?
16:58Does this help?
16:59I mean, you know, I'm being a little cute.
17:01I don't think there's anything going to get me in heaven.
17:05Okay.
17:05I think I'm not maybe heaven bound.
17:09I may be in heaven right now as we fly an Air Force One.
17:12I'm not sure I'm going to be able to make heaven.
17:15Oh.
17:17If there's a God in heaven, you'll be there, Mr. P.
17:20I know some people.
17:23Once on solid ground, he spoke about many of you he's known for so long.
17:28I've known so many of you for so long.
17:30You're friends of mine.
17:31You're great people.
17:32I have a couple I don't like in particular, but I won't tell you who.
17:36I have actually a few of them I don't like at all.
17:39But you'll never find out who they are.
17:42Well, maybe you will come to think of it.
17:45He always keeps him guessing.
17:48But it's like those lady boys I put through barber college.
17:57And finally, do we have a woman, a young woman,
18:01a beautiful young woman?
18:04We have a woman, a young woman who's,
18:07I'm not allowed to say it because usually it's the end of your political career if you say it.
18:12She's a beautiful young woman.
18:13Now, if you use the word beautiful in the United States about a woman,
18:17that's the end of your political career.
18:19But I'll take my chances.
18:21Where is she?
18:22There she is.
18:22You don't mind being called beautiful, right?
18:24Because you are.
18:25Joe, what Trump realizes is there's no HR department in the White House.
18:39It's like he can say this.
18:41We can't, but he can, so he does.
18:44He does.
18:45Especially with Maloney.
18:47I love her.
18:47And of course, an Italian woman is not going to get mad about calling her beautiful.
18:51No one loves beautiful women like Italians do.
18:53She was this close to pinching her own ass.
18:55What I love about her is she cannot control her facial expression.
19:05Yes.
19:06And whenever Macron or somebody, the eye rolling, it looks like she's blacking out.
19:10Yeah.
19:11It's not just the eyes.
19:13Her whole, she does all full body.
19:16Like, you're so stupid, it's giving her neurological issues.
19:21She just like Macron.
19:23She just wants to be like, you know, like, case, do not.
19:26He married his schoolteacher.
19:27Like, I can't.
19:28But yeah, I thought that was brilliant.
19:30And it's so much better than, you know, with Biden, she has to worry about him grabbing
19:33her hair and sniffing.
19:34And with Trump, she'll take the compliment.
19:36Yeah.
19:37You know, Kat, I want to show you this clip.
19:43It was like, when Trump is with these people, they all just become like supporting actors.
19:49Like world leaders become supporting actors.
19:51This is like how he treats Starmer, this UK dude, where he calls him up and then he sends
19:58him back.
20:00And like, Starmer doesn't even think he's going to talk.
20:03Wait, you got to just see this.
20:04United Kingdom.
20:06Where's United Kingdom?
20:07Where's my friend?
20:09Where?
20:09Come here.
20:11Is everything going good?
20:13Very good.
20:13It's very nice of you here.
20:15These people all came on like 20 minute notice.
20:20And I think it's fantastic.
20:22And we have so many others.
20:23And it's just so many others.
20:24What was that?
20:30I don't know.
20:32But that hurts.
20:34It hurt me.
20:36He had to do the face.
20:37He had to do that face of like.
20:41I honestly probably would have stood up there awkwardly for several more minutes.
20:45That's probably one of the reasons why a president's concerned about getting into heaven.
20:53I don't.
20:54What did you think of this?
20:57What of he said?
20:58Did you?
20:59What of he said?
21:00Wow.
21:02Oh, I can take it from here.
21:05I love what he said to the Italian prime minister.
21:07He called her a beautiful young woman.
21:09She's 48.
21:10Yeah.
21:11Makes me feel like I got a lot of juice left.
21:13Tyrus, basically, all the leaders have to stand there and he can do whatever he wants.
21:27Yes.
21:27Remember how we were told that he was the laughing stock and that they talked?
21:31No, they treat him like he is the hood ornament of America.
21:39It's a way we're supposed to be looked at.
21:43No, they he treats them like the law of the jungle.
21:46He lets him know he's the lion and they're all sheep and they can get mauled at any time,
21:51as we saw.
21:52Yeah.
21:54There is nothing worse than to be called forward on the world stage to be whispered to.
22:00And then he didn't say go back.
22:01He said he turned and he was like, the only thing would have been better if he would have
22:05said, are you still here?
22:07Yeah.
22:09You know, like, that's that's but that's dominance, because guess what?
22:13Everyone else behind there was like, oh, I'm glad that wasn't me.
22:18And the one woman on the stage is like, I don't know what y'all talking about.
22:21He said I was beautiful.
22:22So, like, he knows how to play the game.
22:25But I will say this, if solving the war in the Middle East does not get you in heaven,
22:31I am.
22:32Do you, Eric, do you love, do you love the fact, like, you can, when he, you know, he
22:45says there's some people I like and some people I don't.
22:48That's kind of part of his persuasion is that it's just much better to get along with him
22:53than upset him.
22:54Like, he makes the divide pretty vast.
22:56It's like if you piss him off, he's going to make your life hell.
22:58But if you do the right thing by his judgment, he's going to be great.
23:02But you can kind of know what he's talking about.
23:05Like, who is he talking about?
23:06Oh, he makes it very obvious.
23:08No one ever wonders what Donald Trump is thinking, as he will tell you that exact thing at the
23:12exact moment he thinks it.
23:14And I love that, though.
23:15It felt very Seinfeld Festivus to me.
23:17Like, I got a problem with all of you, and we're about to have it out right now.
23:20I always appreciate that.
23:22And him stepping in front of him that way, in front of Starmer, it reminds me of the United
23:26Nations General Assembly, his first time in office, where he just, like, pushes through
23:30all the world leaders and just stops dead in front of them.
23:34I mean, he commands the presidents not only because of the work he did to bring the end
23:38to this war, but also because he has no problem making himself physically very known in a space
23:44to be like, I am the leader of the free world.
23:46GTFO.
23:47Always delightful.
23:56Up next, the male gaze returns.
24:00In five words.
24:05The male gaze is back.
24:09Kat, this is great.
24:10According to CNN, after years of progress towards gender equality in media, there's been a cultural
24:16shift back to the, quote, male gaze.
24:19That's a feminist concept, if you're not aware of it, Kat, of how the media objectifies women
24:25for a man's viewing pleasure.
24:27Did it really ever go away?
24:30Of course not.
24:33And also, men will find things that are not sexual incredibly sexual anyway.
24:40Yes.
24:40Like, I mean, and I love men.
24:43I don't mean this as an insult, but you're all disgusting perverts.
24:48Like, it's not like what's in the media that's making men horny idiots.
24:56It's just men, like, men want to have sex with most women and many objects.
25:01Like, that's what we're dealing with.
25:04And if you're thinking, like, oh, no, like, there's, like, the guys are, like, oh, no,
25:08I'm, like, a nice guy.
25:09I'm a nice, clean man.
25:10I'm a pure...
25:11Those are the biggest pervs of all.
25:13Yes.
25:14Those are the sickest ones that you really got to watch out for.
25:17It is.
25:18There's literally nothing you can do.
25:20You can walk out looking like you were dragged out of a sewer, and you will still have men
25:24who see you and think about you.
25:26You know, Tyrus, I feel like this article could have been written at any period in time the
25:44last 30 years.
25:45They're kind of, like, written to justify the gender studies programs that churn out these
25:52articles.
25:53It's, like, almost like it's AI at this point.
25:57I'm never getting into heaven.
26:03Something pretty about a woman when she comes out of the sewer.
26:10You know.
26:14I misread this entire story.
26:17Really?
26:17I saw male gays, and I thought they were walking in herds now.
26:21I didn't know.
26:23This is stupid.
26:24I hate these articles.
26:26Yeah.
26:27We're all dumber, and thanks for outing us, Kat.
26:31But the male, we're genetically predisposed to find women attractive.
26:37We're more visually.
26:38Unless our genetics are changed and we'll find someone else attractive, and it doesn't matter
26:42whether you're gay or straight, you're still a man, and you're going to want to diddle
26:45things because that's your drive.
26:48The only thing you hope is that you get enough knowledge or know your wife has a strong enough
26:54divorce lawyer that you don't do those things.
26:56But you have to work at it.
26:57You have to work hard to be a respectable, non-primate man.
27:02It's not easy, but, you know, but give us a break.
27:04You don't need to, it went back.
27:06It never left.
27:07Yeah, but also.
27:08We just got clever.
27:08But also, this story is so, like, 2001.
27:13Yeah.
27:13And it tells you something about CNN that they're basically just kind of like a headless horseman.
27:18If they're doing stories on the male gaze, that was a phrase literally from, like, 25 years ago.
27:24It is.
27:25To your point, this story could have been written any time in the last 40 years.
27:29It would sound the same and be the same.
27:31Although I really need to say this to Democrats.
27:33I don't understand what the left lunacy media's obsession is with the war on hotness in America.
27:39There is nothing wrong with putting a little effort in or coming straight out of the gutter.
27:44It doesn't matter.
27:45If that's how you feel you look good, there's nothing wrong with doing your hair and makeup
27:48that shouldn't be attacked.
27:49If you want to look nice, you should.
27:51If you feel your best in your sweatpants, rolling around with, you know, the rats in New York City, that works, too.
27:57But the war on hotness is something that Democrats do time and again.
28:00They want this to be a joyless, sexless society.
28:03And so if you're good looking, they think that if they can take you out,
28:06they'll continue to keep everybody miserable and under their control.
28:08Yeah, you know, thank you.
28:13Often, as somebody who often feels like he's a target in this war, I agree completely.
28:19You get it, Greg.
28:20You know what the war on hotness is in America.
28:22Yeah, I mean, I'm tired of it, actually.
28:25Joe, is it less about the male gaze and more about when you use it, Joe?
28:30Well, I was confused when I first heard this because I thought, well, aren't all the gays male?
28:34And then I thought, oh.
28:38Disunderstood.
28:39But I'm glad to hear the ladies on the panel.
28:43But still, you have no idea what's going on in our minds.
28:46Because if you did, you just would always be pepper spraying.
28:50If you knew the way, you just would walk out the front door, you'd never stop.
28:57So, yeah, I think this shows the death of the fat acceptance movement.
29:01Yes.
29:01Although, I don't think there wasn't a whole lot of movement, let's be honest.
29:04Yes.
29:04There was some jiggling that was going on.
29:07But the male gaze, that's one of the things where I enjoy now that I'm older, is that I don't have to do that thing where it used to be.
29:14It took me decades to learn that if I can see a woman's boobs, she can see that I'm looking at her boobs.
29:20It took me decades.
29:21And having to talk to some women, like I had a nosebleed because I couldn't stop my eyes from doing that.
29:28But I'm better now at the gym.
29:29I used to go to the gym and look at the hot girls in her outfits.
29:32And now I'm like, Miss, please get your ass out of my face.
29:35I will be done with the abductor, adductor machine momentarily.
29:40Yeah, it's like Tyra said, it's tough to control yourself.
29:45But at least they're acknowledging this is how the species propagates itself.
29:48Yeah.
29:49Stop fighting against it.
29:50Exactly.
29:51Amen.
29:54Coming up, who will take the Marilyn dad?
29:58Oh, what a guy in the blink of an eye.
30:05He's a star who won't lead us astray.
30:09From El Salvador, always striving for more.
30:12He's who we all want to be someday.
30:15Don't believe the news.
30:17He's got real cool tattoos.
30:19No way this dude is in our gang.
30:21No way.
30:22He's the father that we all wish we had.
30:25In his arms, you will never be sad.
30:28He's a flawless and fabulous Marilyn dad.
30:40No one wants Marilyn dad.
30:43Tyra's a sad new report says that three African nations, Uganda, Ghana, and Eswatini,
30:48refuse to take in Kilmar Obrego Garcia as a deportee.
30:53Are you shocked that no one wants such a fine young gentleman, a pillar of the community,
30:59such as the Marilyn dad?
31:00I'm shocked because those countries don't f*** around.
31:04So I would've thought...
31:05You know what, though?
31:06Why are they shopping him around?
31:08Yeah.
31:09Like, he has a home.
31:11He can go stay with the senators that were visiting him and checking on him and having margaritas.
31:16Like, no one's too old to be a foster kid.
31:21You know what I'm...
31:22We're the Democrats now to take him in.
31:24You know what they should do?
31:25They should go with him.
31:27They should go and talk to the African countries and see they can set up a little place and
31:32they promise to visit and all that kind of stuff.
31:35But again, this is what makes me...
31:36Where are they now?
31:37They're never there.
31:38Where are they coming out now?
31:39Where is the Democratic speeches condemning those...
31:42We need to put sanctions on the African...
31:44Because they won't even let a dad in.
31:45Like, this is ridiculous.
31:46They're nowhere to be found.
31:48So they need to go...
31:49They need to come pick their dad up.
31:50Yeah, you know what, Aaron?
31:52I believe that our Maryland dad didn't try very hard to get into these countries.
31:58Because for some reason, we believe that illegals that come over have a choice of the countries
32:03they get to go to because they don't seek asylum right next door.
32:07They, like, leapfrog over countries to America because that's the one they want.
32:12Yeah, and his lawyer in this has said that he would be okay being extradited or sent over
32:17to Costa Rica.
32:17So he's trying to order where he's going.
32:20This man has had an adjudication process and an order of deportation since 2019 in the
32:25United States.
32:26This is a multi-presidential failure of getting this man out of the country.
32:30And if there's ever a reason that maybe we should update our immigration laws, it's to
32:34be able to get someone like this gangbanger out of the country who has violence against
32:39his spouse on his record, who has multiple arrests, who has been accused of human trafficking,
32:44some of the worst stuff.
32:45And the fact that we can't get this man out of the country as the United States like
32:49that is a problem.
32:50He's been adjudicated.
32:51He's had his process.
32:53Democrats have tried to make it ultra-adjudication and get more process, more due process for
32:57him.
32:57And even in all of that, we need to be able to get these people, these criminals, out
33:01of the country.
33:02We have to fix that problem.
33:03It really says something when Uganda doesn't want you.
33:11I mean, that's not like, whoa, that place is crazy.
33:14DeVito, did you follow this whole New York driver's license thing?
33:17Yeah.
33:18Where they were, like, actually issuing licenses to illegals with no name given?
33:25Yeah.
33:25Where do they find these chill DMV offices?
33:28Every time I go in, I'm terrified that they're going to throw me out.
33:33I never have the right paperwork.
33:35Yeah, back of the line.
33:36This guy showed up, his passport's on a cocktail napkin.
33:38They're like, yeah, you're good.
33:40You're good.
33:41But what Aaron said about Kilmer, it's so funny that he said he'll consider Costa Rica like
33:45he's picking, you know, which all-inclusive resort he's going to.
33:49But he was rejected by Rwanda, Uganda, and what was that?
33:53Eswatini.
33:54Which, you've got to admit, does sound like three WNBA all-star names.
33:58But he, I think we know what we need to do with him.
34:02Who else is having trouble with some of her travel?
34:04Greta Thunberg.
34:05Put the two of them together.
34:06That's the ultimate buddy comedy.
34:08Yes.
34:08She's 13, he's MS-13.
34:11You put them together, you call the show, how dare you?
34:14That's a big hit.
34:18Kat, you've been following this issue closely.
34:21Yeah.
34:21I just wonder how they're pitching this guy.
34:23They're like, hey, we got a dad for you.
34:25And then they can say all the stuff he's accused of and all the, they'd be like, well, but did
34:30you hear that he's a dad?
34:32And then when it doesn't work, they're probably like, damn it, that works on cable news.
34:37That has worked for so many people as a talking point, which is truly insane to me that maybe
34:42they're surprised by it.
34:44I don't know.
34:44That is such an interesting point that the arguments that are made on cable news do not
34:49survive reality.
34:51It's like, we don't care.
34:52But on MSNBC, they said.
34:54But he's a dad.
34:54He's a dad.
34:56You must have not heard me when I said he's a dad.
34:58It's not like he's a good dad.
35:00Yeah.
35:00All right.
35:03We must move on up next.
35:04Did The View wear MAGA hats?
35:09Our View on The View.
35:19Well, one of the views heard, really keep her word.
35:24Now that President Trump successfully brokered a deal to end the war in Gaza and free all
35:28the Israeli hostages, we can't help but be reminded of all the losers who didn't believe
35:33in him.
35:34And when we say all the losers, we mean daytime TV, longtime festering wound, The View, where
35:41Trump-hating conservative Alyssa Farrah Griffin once said this about Trump freeing the hostages.
35:46If he gets the Israeli hostages out, I promise I will wear a MAGA hat for one day on the
35:51show and say, thank you for doing it.
35:53Oh, really?
35:55Yeah.
35:56She promised to wear a MAGA hat and say, thank you.
35:59Peace in the Middle East.
36:00And The View host humiliated, we really are entering a golden age.
36:05But she still didn't wear the hat on today's episode.
36:10But maybe she will tomorrow.
36:11And while they're at it, maybe the rest of the hosts can wear burkas.
36:16Just as an act of kindness to the rest of us.
36:19Joe, do you think she will?
36:22No, I don't think they can find a MAGA hat that will go over her dunce cap, which is what
36:25she should be wearing on every show.
36:28I don't think she'll do it, but that's not the promise I hope they keep.
36:31I remember Whoopi Goldberg saying that they were going to deny sex to conservative men.
36:35That's the promise I hope they keep in case any of my brethren has a moment of weakness.
36:40I want to make sure that they don't accidentally have sex with any of the women of The View.
36:43Do you know what?
36:44Yeah, because if you have sex with women of The View, you are not getting into heaven.
36:47Yeah.
36:49You're already in hell.
36:51By the way, I think you just disproved everything Kat said.
36:55The View is one area where there is no male gaze.
36:59Yeah.
37:00Greg, stop it.
37:01They have a gaze.
37:02It's the Gutfeld gaze.
37:04You give meaning to their lives.
37:08Yes.
37:09You are the wind beneath their wings.
37:17Every time they close their eyes at night, they say, oh, man, I thought we were going to
37:21get canceled this week, but thank God for my little Gutfeld.
37:24I get dressed up for the male gaze, but it's G-A-Y-S.
37:28I like it when they tell me I look pretty.
37:33And I feel like right now, if you're watching The View, it's like watching a public group
37:39therapy.
37:40Like, they are trying to wrestle with all of the things that they've said not coming true.
37:45This guy was supposed to be an authoritarian.
37:47He was supposed to start World War III.
37:49And instead, like you said, he didn't.
37:51He's actually bringing peace.
37:53It's kind of fun to watch.
37:54It's true.
37:55And full disclosure, I've known Alyssa for years.
37:57We worked on the Hill together at the same time.
37:59She was the hardcore conservative who worked in the Freedom Caucus when I worked in leadership
38:03for Kevin McCarthy.
38:04So I've known Alyssa for a long time now.
38:06And this is one thing I've got to tell you.
38:08Anybody who's worked in politics knows you don't say something like, I'll wear this.
38:12I'll eat that.
38:13I'll do this if this thing happens.
38:15Because you will end up wearing a MAGA hat, eating your tie, eating your underwear, eating
38:19your shoe, eating a belt.
38:21Everybody knows.
38:21Never play in the definitives like that because you're going to end up doing the thing you
38:25said you didn't want to do.
38:26That is so true.
38:27That always happens.
38:28Yes, Kat, you were going to make me do something, aren't you?
38:30No.
38:31You're right, Greg.
38:31I mean, obviously, she meant it as a figure of speech is probably what she would say.
38:37But the figure of speech that she meant it as was akin to, I'll eat my tie, I'll eat
38:41my foot, whatever, which just proves how truly impressive it is that Trump was actually
38:48able to do this, that she said, I'll wear a MAGA hat.
38:51Because she never, she thought that this was so difficult to do that it could not be done.
38:57Yes.
38:57It was actually now the ultimate compliment.
39:00Yeah.
39:01Well, to quote the great Beulah Ballbreaker from Porky's, moral turpitude, Greg.
39:07Yeah.
39:08They lack moral turpitude, okay?
39:12They have no integrity because I myself put myself in that very position.
39:19I said if President Trump didn't win, I would shave my beard off.
39:22That's right.
39:23And I'm happy to report I didn't have to shave it off.
39:25But had he...
39:26So you know that Joy Behar made the same dare.
39:31Yes.
39:32But to be fair, that man did not deserve to have his beard cut off.
39:36Yeah.
39:38Are we done?
39:43I think so.
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