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S01E05 >>> https://dai.ly/x9s55a4
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00:00THE END
00:11Say what you like about England, but, er, she has very fresh breath.
00:19Wales, too. And, er, if Scotland could, er, be persuaded to finally bend the ciggies,
00:26I'm sure her breath will be just as fresh.
00:30I'm Alan Partridge, and in this series, sponsored by Flench & Son Tanning Centre,
00:35Feel Down, Get Brown, I'm exploring the mental health of the nation.
00:39This week, I'll be finding out what the great outdoors can do for our noggins,
00:43as I once again ask, how are you?
00:46It's Alan Partridge.
00:50I love to be outdoors.
00:52Back in Norwich, I'm often found pottering around making short videos for the tourist board
00:57using a 365-degree stick camera given to me during my time in Saudi Arabia
01:02by His Excellency the Crown Prince's chauffeur.
01:06I like to see, er, wattle and daub buildings.
01:08To me, there's just something about the fresh air and the exercise.
01:11Hello. See you later. I hate these flowers.
01:13Seems to be good for the soul.
01:15Visited only upon terrorist suspects.
01:18And while the tourist board reserves the right to edit down my videos,
01:22He's my favourite.
01:23Being out and about centres and settles me.
01:26He's definitely my favourite. You know who isn't? Er.
01:30But in this episode, I'm going to experiment on a bigger canvas,
01:34and have come to the Peak District alone with nothing more than my stick camera,
01:38and obviously clothes,
01:39to explore the mental health benefits of surrounding yourself in nature.
01:43Studies show that the great outdoors can do wonders for your mental health.
01:54As much as 84%.
01:56Today, I'm climbing Mam Tor,
02:00a 17-foot-hundred high hill in the Peak District,
02:05which, according to the guidebook, boasts incredible views.
02:10And on a clear day, it says you can see as far as Manchester.
02:14Although it doesn't explain why you'd want to.
02:18Starting at Castleton, day one will see me climb the mighty Mam Tor,
02:23and walk the Great Bridge.
02:25After a good sleep and wash,
02:27I'll spend a second day scaling the district's highest peak, Kinder Scout.
02:31Hello. Fellow aviators.
02:34How you doing?
02:35Good. Have you ever flown on a jetpack?
02:38I know a guy who has.
02:41You're looking at him.
02:43Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
02:45Up, up, up, up, up and away, like my beautiful balloon.
02:51Do you think that's good for mental health?
02:55Do you think flying's good for mental health?
02:59Enjoy the freedom of flight,
03:01but try not to worry the sheep they'll miscarry.
03:05I'm so glad I came here.
03:11My partner, Katrina, was dead right.
03:13She said, go away for the weekend.
03:15Climb a big mountain by yourself.
03:17I guess she just gets me.
03:20Yeah, so I've come away on my own,
03:22and she's gone away to Paris with my best friend, Daryl.
03:26Yeah, there's friends, there's friends.
03:29They're badminton partners.
03:31And I've said myself, you know,
03:33he covers a lot of ground by the baseline.
03:35She's got a wicked drop shot.
03:36It just works.
03:38There's supposed to be four of them,
03:39but two of them had to pull out because of very, very long Covid.
03:43So it's just Daryl and Katrina in Paris.
03:47The city of lovers, my hairdresser says.
03:51It's such a stupid thing to say.
03:53It's not just for lovers.
03:55You get school trips go there.
03:57They're not all having sex with each other.
03:59I mean, occasionally a line will be crossed.
04:02You get some bearded sixth formers these days,
04:05and some very busty students.
04:07But this assumption that every couple that goes to Paris
04:11is going to be banging the bejesus out of each other
04:13is just childish.
04:18Daryl and Katrina are badminton partners,
04:21and they wanted to try out some different courts.
04:23And that's the end of it.
04:28Spending time alone in nature, though boring,
04:31allows our minds the freedom to roam,
04:33to dwell on anything from your daughter being gay
04:36to whether you'd have been good at presenting natural history shows.
04:39A million billion years ago,
04:42this was probably bits of dinosaur.
04:45Now, though, just horrible soil.
04:49We all come from it, and we all go back to it.
04:52This is nature's ring road.
04:59The end of the first morning's walking,
05:01and though I'd only been out in nature for a couple of hours,
05:03already there was a definite sense of tension easing,
05:06as I absorbed the majesty and infinite variety
05:09of the natural world.
05:11This good egg.
05:15What a charming village church.
05:19Oh, it's wonderful.
05:32Respectful, of course, in the house of God,
05:35to lower your voice,
05:38just as you would in a library or a museum.
05:42The same volume one might begin at
05:45while having a late-night row with your wife in a tent.
05:50Where are you?
05:53Where are you, eh?
05:55I know he's up there.
05:57Oh, yes.
05:58I'm sure he's looking down on you right now.
06:00He hears everything.
06:01Yeah.
06:02And I know he's in here.
06:03That faint smell of ammonia.
06:05That's from his excrement.
06:09God?
06:10The bat.
06:11I see!
06:12Right.
06:13Counting bats.
06:14Right, of course, yes.
06:15I was going to say, I'm not sure God excretes anything.
06:18Only love.
06:22So why are you counting bats?
06:23The roof needs repair,
06:24but there's a maternity colony up there.
06:26And they're protected under UK law,
06:28so the work will have to wait.
06:29It's funny, isn't it,
06:30how the church has to go to Rack and Ruin
06:32just so some bats can make more bats.
06:34I just saw one there.
06:35Winter Cross.
06:36They are awful.
06:37They are easily my least favourite bird.
06:39Skin for wings, but no feathers. Why?
06:41I've studied bats for 20 years,
06:42and I...
06:43I believe there's as much God's creatures as you or me.
06:46It's like the song says, isn't it?
06:47The Lord God made them all.
06:49All creatures great and small.
06:50It's my favourite hymn.
06:52Yeah, it is nice hymn.
06:54Goes on a bit, though, I find.
06:56I mean, all things bright and beautiful,
06:58all creatures great and small,
06:59all things wise and wonderful.
07:00The Lord God made them all,
07:01and the verse goes on to list individually
07:03all the things that the Course tells you
07:05you're made all of,
07:06so I just think it's just over-egged.
07:07Yeah.
07:08Have you ever thought of it like that?
07:09It's a bit like Ross Kemp, isn't it?
07:10It's telling you you've seen
07:11all the Batman films,
07:12and then listing them all
07:13on a long car journey.
07:14Batman.
07:15Batman Returns.
07:16Batman Forever.
07:17Yeah, I know, Ross.
07:18You've seen them all.
07:19Batman and Robin.
07:20Batman Begins.
07:21The Dark Knight.
07:22The Dark Knight Rises.
07:23Yeah, yeah, yeah, Ross.
07:24I know, we get it.
07:25I know it's a Superman.
07:26The Batman.
07:27Yeah.
07:28Lego Batman.
07:29For Christ's sakes, Ross,
07:30stop saying Batman.
07:31You know, grow up.
07:32Sometimes tell the kids that I'm Batman.
07:34Yeah, but you only say it once, right?
07:35Just at the start.
07:36Yeah, that's fine.
07:38You can hold one if you want.
07:40A bat?
07:42Yeah.
07:43Why would I want to hold a bat?
07:45He broke its wing.
07:46Good.
07:47So it can't fly and drink blood from a cow,
07:49or drink the blood from the neck of a woman,
07:51if it's Dracula.
07:52That's totally different.
07:53Okay.
07:54You know, a lot of the children,
07:55they're scared at first,
07:56but they get over it.
07:57Yeah, oh, I'll get over it.
07:58Yeah, fine.
07:59Yeah, hold your hands out then.
08:01No, like a book.
08:03Sorry.
08:04For some reason,
08:05I thought you meant like Jesus.
08:06Got any concerns,
08:07you can ask me a question.
08:08Yeah, okay.
08:09Could it give me rabies?
08:10No.
08:11Could it give me TB?
08:12No.
08:13Could it give me,
08:14I want to say botulism?
08:15No.
08:16Could it give me any,
08:17and I mean any form of AIDS?
08:19No.
08:20Will it bite me?
08:21No.
08:22Could it bite me?
08:23It's unlikely.
08:24Will it lick me?
08:25No.
08:26Could it lick me?
08:27In theory, yes.
08:28Is it tongue rough?
08:29No.
08:30Is it tongue hot?
08:31Honestly, I don't know.
08:32Is it heavy?
08:33No.
08:34Does it stink?
08:35No.
08:36Does it stink a little bit?
08:37Maybe.
08:38Will it do this?
08:39It won't do that.
08:40Um...
08:41Do you want to hold the bat?
08:42All right, all right.
08:43You hold the stick,
08:44I'll stroke the bird.
08:45What's his name?
08:46Kieran.
08:47What's your name?
08:48Kieran.
08:50I've got to go now, Kieran.
08:55Bye.
08:56Bye!
08:59Now, walls,
09:00not ice cream or sausages,
09:02but actual walls,
09:03I think would be a great topic
09:04for a documentary.
09:06The BBC wouldn't commission it
09:07because it doesn't have trans drug addicts,
09:08but as a topic for a phone-in,
09:10I think it would be second to none.
09:11What's your favourite wall?
09:12Dry stone?
09:14Post and rail?
09:16Partition?
09:17Load-bearing?
09:18Great of China?
09:19Wailing?
09:20Berlin?
09:22And Adrian's?
09:23What's your favourite type of wall?
09:24A crinkle-crankle wall.
09:26The shape of it provides lateral stability
09:28without the need for buttresses.
09:30Got it.
09:31So, why doesn't your girlfriend
09:33play badminton in Paris with you?
09:35Because I like to play squash.
09:37Look up crinkle-crankle wall.
09:45I think the tavern I'm supposed to be staying at
09:47is in that direction,
09:48but it's very hard to tell.
09:50Excuse me,
09:53I wonder if you could help me out.
09:55I'm trying to locate a pub,
09:58and I know it's over there,
10:00but everywhere looks the same.
10:01I've heard of going snow-blind,
10:02well, I think I'm going green-blind.
10:04Do you mind if I borrow your binoculars?
10:06Yeah.
10:08As in, yeah, I mind.
10:09What, so I can't borrow them?
10:11Well, I don't know you.
10:12Look, it's a personal item that I put on my face.
10:16Aha.
10:18And a man comes up to me,
10:20making noises,
10:21wanting to smear his eyes and fingers on them first.
10:23It's basic hygiene, mate.
10:32What an odd man.
10:35What a cross man.
10:39What a shit man.
10:41It's funny.
10:42If someone had done that to me in ordinary life,
10:44I'd follow them,
10:45wait until they were having a wee,
10:47and then push them over.
10:48But out here, in nature,
10:50it just didn't seem to matter.
10:52And whilst it's easy to get a bit lost
10:54if your phone dies
10:55because your assistant didn't charge it,
10:57the vantage point I reached
10:58revealed the quiet grandeur
11:00of the Derbyshire Hills.
11:01Each with its own story,
11:03its own history,
11:05and together an enduring testament
11:07to the power of nature
11:08to inspire and uplift.
11:10I told her to fucking charge it.
11:126pm,
11:13and with a slightly dirty bottom,
11:15I've reached the Hind and Harrow
11:17in Upper Booth,
11:18my digs for the night.
11:20Step through this door
11:21and you step back in time.
11:24The unisex toilets
11:25and genderfluid bar staff,
11:27the alcohol-free gin,
11:29baffling,
11:30and generally humorless attitude
11:32of the clientele
11:33are all very well for a city bar.
11:35But if you want to knees up
11:36round the old Joanna,
11:37don't go there.
11:38Hear, hear.
11:39Give me a warm fire,
11:42warm beer,
11:43the warm smell of dog
11:44and a warm welcome
11:45from the regulars.
11:46Trevor here has offered
11:47to buy a pint
11:48for this weary traveller.
11:50Sadly, in a city bar,
11:51the offer of a free drink
11:52would come with the subtext of sex.
11:54But here,
11:55it's just two regular fellas
11:57having a chin mug over a pint.
11:58Same again, Trevor.
11:59Why not?
12:00Trevor here is an amateur historian
12:03and I believe this place
12:05was once a popular haunt
12:06for highwaymen.
12:07Oh, very much so.
12:08There were rich pickings
12:09along these roads
12:10for the unscrupulous thief.
12:12It's incredible, isn't it,
12:13that someone looking for people
12:15with a few bob
12:16would come to what is effectively Derby.
12:18Yeah, the Peak District
12:19is steeped in stories,
12:21myths and monsters.
12:23Legend has it
12:24that the spirits come out at night.
12:26And that's not just Bill
12:28when he starts on the gin.
12:30Despite a habit
12:31of passing off pre-prepared sentences
12:33as spontaneous thought,
12:34Trevor proved to be genial company.
12:36There you go.
12:37Keep the change.
12:38Oh, thanks.
12:39Right, how much was it?
12:4010.80.
12:41He gave me 20.
12:42Oh.
12:43Er...
12:44Don't worry about it.
12:45Do you know what?
12:46Keep it.
12:47Yeah.
12:48Right, you could do a lot worse
12:49and stay here.
12:50A tavern like this
12:51would be beyond the means
12:52of most travellers.
12:53Many would stay in a bothy.
12:55That's a stone hut
12:57without warmth, light or comfort.
13:00Reminds me of living with the ex-wife.
13:02Ha ha ha.
13:03Yes.
13:04My ex-wife kept a good home.
13:05She was just emotionally toxic.
13:07I could cheese and onion crisps.
13:09Oh, yes.
13:10A bothy is not of the calibre
13:11of a place you'd find on Airbnb.
13:13Yeah.
13:14Although some of those aren't
13:15all they're cracked up to be.
13:16I once stayed at an Airbnb
13:17that had no knives.
13:18Spent all evening
13:19trying to cut up lamb chops
13:21with the side of a spoon.
13:22My God, I gave it a bad review.
13:24And the next day they texted me
13:25saying there's a tray
13:26of knives under the bed.
13:27And I'm supposed to know.
13:28Er, it's £1.10 for crisps.
13:30Right.
13:31Er...
13:32Haven't got the 10p.
13:34They're £1.10 though,
13:35that's the thing.
13:36Okay, erm...
13:37Right.
13:38Oh, it's £5 minimum car payment.
13:40Okay, well...
13:42I mean, it's 10p.
13:43I can just put them back.
13:45Okay, fine.
13:48And are the bar staff
13:50normally this friendly?
13:51Is this still about the crisps?
13:52I find it incredible
13:53that you were gifted
13:54nearly £10
13:55and you act like nothing happened.
13:57I said thank you.
13:58Yeah, when I needed a favour
13:59I get zilch.
14:00You want me to pay
14:01for your crisps
14:02with my money?
14:0310p out of the £9.20
14:05I gave you.
14:06Yeah, gave.
14:07It belongs to me.
14:08Sir, money them tips.
14:09Sorry.
14:10Don't remember asking you.
14:11Do you know how much
14:12your barmaid earned?
14:13She's got three kids to support.
14:14I've got three grandchildren to support
14:16and she's taken the Christmas money.
14:18Yeah?
14:19You want to play that game?
14:20You give them three quid each?
14:21It's a WH Smith gift token.
14:23Three quid?
14:24Yeah, you can get a couple of pencils for that.
14:26After a frank exchange of views
14:28I enjoyed an early night.
14:30Albeit with an open penknife in my hand.
14:37Day two of my mental health hike
14:39in the Peak District
14:41and today I'll be scaling its highest hill
14:43Kinderscout.
14:46Sometimes think about how my life
14:48might have turned out
14:50had I taken a different path.
14:54I can imagine myself up here
14:56up here as a shepherd
14:58perhaps dressed in a
15:01woolen jerkin
15:03salvaged from the carcass of a dead sheep
15:06because I wouldn't want to waste the wool.
15:09A woolen hat
15:11trousers
15:13also made of wool
15:14and perhaps some sheepskin boots
15:17taken from a different part of the sheep
15:20so that I would be dressed
15:23almost completely
15:25not as a sheep
15:27not as a sheep
15:28but in sheep.
15:29Those clouds look a bit like sheep.
15:35God, I'm bored.
15:38The last time I came to the Peak District
15:40was as a presenter of Tea Time magazine show
15:42This Time
15:43where I reported on blacksmith Ron Eccles' fight
15:45to keep his ancient craft alive.
15:48There's something wonderfully elemental
15:49about watching a blacksmith at work
15:52if you see Sean Bean or Liam Neeson
15:55hammering an anvil in a drama
15:56you know you're in for a treat
15:57even on ITV
15:58but traditional craftsmanship
16:00is something that we don't see very often.
16:02Now everything's done for you.
16:04We're losing the skills
16:05that have been handed down to us over centuries
16:08and I tell you
16:09once it's gone
16:10it's gone.
16:11Yeah, you see these people don't you
16:12queuing round the block
16:13for the latest trainers
16:14or working in an Apple store
16:16and yet if Britain came under a cyber attack
16:18from China
16:19the EU
16:20or Ireland
16:21you think they would come a cropper?
16:22They'd starve to death.
16:23Yeah, good.
16:24I thought a blacksmith would be more like Liam Neeson
16:26but you're quite chatty aren't you?
16:28So are you.
16:29Yeah, well the survivors are going to need someone
16:31to man the airwaves.
16:32I'm Alan Partridge.
16:33Don't forget
16:34if a relative or loved one has just died
16:36to burn the corpse immediately
16:38before decomposition
16:39because if those maggots
16:40hatch into blue bottles
16:41and the plague becomes airborne
16:43then we're all for it.
16:44This is Shania Twain
16:46and you're still the one I want.
16:47I wonder if she made it.
16:48I believe she had a ranch with some horses.
16:50I'm sure she'll be fine.
16:51But even without a primetime TV show
16:54there's always the chance to meet new people
16:56and learn new skills.
16:57This morning I've happened across a farmer
17:00who spent the last half hour telling me about
17:02the ancient craft of sheep herding
17:04which he says takes decades to master.
17:07So it's settled, steady and what?
17:09Come by.
17:10Got it. Give me the whistle.
17:11Come by.
17:14Come by.
17:15Walk on.
17:20Have you done this before?
17:21No.
17:22Walk on.
17:24Steady.
17:25Steady.
17:26Walk on.
17:27Are you sure you've never done this before?
17:29Yep.
17:30Steady.
17:31There we go.
17:32OK.
17:33Settle, settle, settle.
17:34Very good.
17:35I found that quite easy.
17:37Really?
17:38Yeah.
17:39Do you ever use any part-time herders or shepherds?
17:43You know?
17:44Yeah, if you've got a day off or something, you know,
17:47I can just talk more about it later.
17:50Yeah, yeah.
17:51Yeah, I found that quite easy.
17:53A fun morning.
17:55And while I was later upbraided for strapping a camera to a sheep,
17:58as far as I could tell, the sheep liked it.
18:03I'm walking along a sheep trail as opposed to a human path.
18:07I think it was a Chinese man who once said,
18:09if you follow in the footsteps of a sheep,
18:11eventually it will lead you to a sheep.
18:14A Chinese man said that to me outside the O2,
18:19after a Coldplay concert.
18:21And he had a camper van.
18:23Asked me to pop inside.
18:25Er, popped inside.
18:27Erm, and then immediately regretted it, because...
18:31I know.
18:33I think it was just as a very early reminder.
18:35That was a good time.
18:37Yeah.
18:38Of course.
18:39Yeah, it was a good time.
18:40I think it was a good time,
18:42that was a good time for the cat.
18:44I'm not the only one,
18:45I think I had to do a small town.
18:46I think it was a good time.
18:47God for all the stars, young, joyless, and desolate,
19:00God for all the stars, young, joyless, and desolate,
19:30God for all the stars, young, joyless, and desolate,
20:00she was right about my wife cheating on me.
20:03You must be proud as punch of this lot.
20:06Well, you should tell them then.
20:08They could be out there sniffing glue, but they're not.
20:11I mean, they might do later, but right now they're here lifting people's spirits.
20:14They certainly lifted mine because I didn't have a very nice breakfast.
20:19And all the parents, they know you bring their kids here?
20:24Yes.
20:24Yeah, good, good.
20:28When people talk about Stonehenge as if it's the only henge,
20:33I allow myself a quiet chuckle.
20:36I mean, throw a stick in Derbyshire and you hit a henge.
20:39I once threw a stick at a goat.
20:41Excuse me!
20:42Can you help?
20:43Oh!
20:43Okay, my name's Alan.
20:46What's your name?
20:47Jeff.
20:47Jeff.
20:48Am I all right to call you Jeff, Jeff?
20:49Yeah.
20:50Thanks, Jeff.
20:51Are you a paramedic?
20:52I'm not a paramedic, but I'm using the intonation of a paramedic.
20:54Is that okay, Jeff?
20:55Er...
20:56Thanks, Jeff.
20:57I've broken my leg.
20:58Hey, hey, hey, look at me.
20:59No one's broken any legs, all right?
21:01No, I have.
21:02Look.
21:02Oh, that's a broken leg.
21:04Jeff, I want you to look at me.
21:06Whatever you do, keep your head as still as possible.
21:09Why?
21:09Do you think I've broken my neck?
21:10Oh, no, you've got a nugget of sheepship by your ear.
21:12Right, let's take a look.
21:13Pulse, good.
21:15Temp, good.
21:16Open mouth.
21:17Mouth, good.
21:18Say R.
21:19R.
21:20R, good.
21:20Stick your tongue out.
21:21Bit further, bit further.
21:23Fucking hell, you've got a long tongue.
21:25How many fingers am I holding up?
21:27Two.
21:28Four.
21:29Two.
21:29One.
21:30Shit, I'm just giving you my pen number.
21:31Can you call Mountain Rescue?
21:33Here, use my Blue Harbour gilet as a cushion.
21:36And you can use my fleece, also Blue Harbour,
21:39as a blanket.
21:41There we go.
21:42You look like you've got four arms now.
21:44In case you lack energy,
21:46I've stripped a Kit Kat to the waist,
21:48placed into the palm of your hands.
21:49If you can't chew it, suck it.
21:51If you need more energy,
21:53take your trousers off and suck him some more.
21:55And you wouldn't know it because of how helpful I'm being,
21:58but just to confirm,
22:01I think you and I both know
22:03that you're the person who wouldn't lend me the binoculars yesterday.
22:07It wasn't anything personal.
22:09I just have an anxiety regarding my face.
22:11It's all right.
22:11I don't hold a grudge.
22:12I don't hold a grudge.
22:14Pardon?
22:15I didn't say anything.
22:15I thought I heard a thank you.
22:17If I'd known it was you,
22:18I would have lent you my binoculars.
22:20Why?
22:20Because celebrities don't have dirty eyes.
22:23I'll leave you with that, Jeff.
22:25This is when a proper hiking shoe is essential.
22:28If I was wearing a fashion trainer,
22:30I wouldn't be as half as able to gallop
22:33as I am here.
22:35I'm zigzagging
22:37to minimise the downward trajectory.
22:40So, it's a...
22:46Recovered.
22:50Nice one, Alan.
22:55Which service do you require?
22:57Helicopter, please.
22:58Injured man located.
23:00Is this an ambulance you need?
23:01A flying one, yes.
23:03Where are you?
23:04Peak District National Park,
23:05two clicks north of Castleton.
23:07That's Castleton, Charlie, Alpha,
23:10Sausage, Tango, Lima.
23:12Right, I've got it.
23:13Can you tell me exactly what happened?
23:15I can, but I've just realised
23:16I used the word sausage
23:17instead of Sierra for the phonetic alphabet.
23:19But that's because I'm hungry
23:21and I had sausage for breakfast.
23:22Just in the helicopter.
23:23Scramble, scramble.
23:24Sorry, I'm thinking about breakfast again.
23:28I injured my knee playing rugby.
23:29She was my physio.
23:30My girlfriend's in Paris.
23:32My best friend.
23:33Oh, good.
23:34No, it's fine.
23:35They play badminton together
23:36and they'd never played
23:37on any French courts before
23:39so I think they wanted to go over
23:40and check out a few of those.
23:41You want some water, Walter?
23:43No, you're all right.
23:44It's the hygiene thing again.
23:46Like with the binoculars yesterday.
23:48You knew how many germs
23:49were in your saliva.
23:50I don't dribble down the spout
23:51when I drink from it.
23:52If your lips have touched it,
23:53your saliva will be in it.
23:54Yes, but not sufficient
23:55to carry a viral load.
23:57Oh, right, okay.
23:57So I must have imagined
23:58the COVID epidemic
23:59that killed over 7 million people.
24:00You've got more chance
24:01of catching germs
24:02when you touch a doorknob,
24:04but I'll bet you still do that.
24:05Cutting a doorknob is unavoidable risk.
24:06Sharing a bottle is not.
24:07I'm doing a documentary
24:08on mental health,
24:09but I'll tell you something, mate.
24:10You're potty.
24:11French badminton courts
24:11are no different to British ones.
24:13A badminton court is a badminton court.
24:18I don't accept that.
24:29Patients this way!
24:30I want to show you guys
24:32that are going to cover
24:32an EC-15 or an AS-355.
24:35355, where is he?
24:36You can tell that
24:37by the lack of vertical stabiliser
24:38on the tailbone,
24:39which means it will
24:40struggle with crosswind.
24:42Patients this way,
24:43but on the plus side,
24:44much more aerodynamic.
24:46But you'll know that already.
24:49Did you know that already?
24:50Yeah!
24:52Roughly when did it happen, Jeff?
24:53Patient was found at 1,400 hours.
24:56About 2 o'clock, Jeff.
24:57Yeah, I think so, yeah.
24:58Kept the patient still.
24:59Administered two fingers
25:00of a chocolate wafer bar.
25:01Orally.
25:02And have you been sick, Jeff?
25:03No, I didn't think so.
25:04Cream of chicken soup.
25:05Administered for hydration.
25:06Patient was unreceptive.
25:07Okay, we're going to get you out of here.
25:08Jeff, get you on a stretcher, all right?
25:10Okay.
25:11Get him on the whirlybird.
25:11Releasing Blue Harbour,
25:121, 2, 3.
25:13Ah!
25:16You want me in the front of the back?
25:17You can't come in there.
25:19Happy night, sucker.
25:20No, you can't come.
25:21Happy night, you have the toll.
25:23It's funny.
25:28I came to the great outdoors to fix a head.
25:30I left having fixed a leg,
25:32although I'm told the chap will need to use a cane.
25:36And, of course, we couldn't do what we do
25:38if it weren't for the help of ordinary people
25:40doing extraordinary things.
25:43And that's why we award Citizen Bravery Awards.
25:46First, Daniel Allison.
25:47In January, Daniel's dad had a heart attack.
25:51Daniel managed to perform CPR
25:53whilst waiting for the air ambulance.
25:57Daniel.
26:05Next, Alan Partridge.
26:08Just this month, Alan ran for half a mile
26:11to Core Mountain Rescue after finding an injured hiker.
26:15Alan.
26:17Members of the press,
26:29Lord Mayor Robert, Lady Mayor Janine,
26:32and our WPC lady here.
26:37People ask me,
26:39why is Britain great?
26:41I tell them,
26:42it's the heroes.
26:44Me,
26:44I am not a hero.
26:47Any big, strong man would have done what I did.
26:51The real heroes are the brave men and women
26:53of Mountain Rescue and their patron,
26:56His Royal Highness, the Prince of Wales,
26:58himself a former helicopter rescue man.
27:01I know Prince Andrew also takes an interest,
27:04having once been a helicopter pilot himself,
27:06although he takes more of a backseat role these days.
27:09Still, a consummate pilot.
27:13He knows how to handle an unruly bird,
27:15even when taking heavy flack during turbulence.
27:18Trick is to get as far away from the storm as possible.
27:20I'm sorry about that.
27:23Someone said that would be funny.
27:24I don't think it is.
27:24I think it's awful what he did.
27:27That simply salutes a gifted pilot and a world-class trade envoy.
27:32His friendship with a rich, dead, bad man notwithstanding.
27:35As for Geoff, the chap whose life I saved, it's funny.
27:41He thinks I helped him, but he's healed something in me.
27:46So I don't want to hear any more of this Alan Partridge is a hero.
27:51Alan Partridge puts his life on the line nonsense.
27:54They're just empty words.
27:57The words that really meant something aren't on a certificate.
28:01They come from my ten-year-old godson, Chris Tarver,
28:04who, when asked what he wanted to be when he grew up,
28:06said, I want to be like Alan, a hero.
28:10His dad said to him,
28:11but I only told you Alan had found an injured man.
28:14You didn't hear the end of the story.
28:16I didn't need to, replied the boy,
28:19because I knew as soon as Alan found him...
28:21because I knew as soon as Alan found him,
28:30he was going to be all right.
28:33I want this helicopter.
28:43And if you're feeling kind of sad,
28:47come over to my house.
28:49I'll make you some chicken soup
28:52and I'll be asking
28:53these simple questions.
28:56How are you?
28:58How am I?
28:59How is he?
29:01How is she?
29:03How are they?
29:05How?
29:05How?
29:06How are you?
29:27How is she?
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