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A View from the Terrace - Season 8 Episode 1
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00:01The greatest show on earth is about to begin.
00:07That is outrageous!
00:09And scores!
00:19I think I'm just gonna go
00:21Oh dear, oh dear
00:23Oh dear
00:36That's a howler!
00:41Is this what Scottish football is about?
00:43Delicious!
00:44Oh!
00:50Champions!
00:51This has been an absolute barnstormer!
01:01Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages,
01:05it is my pleasure to welcome you for the very first time this season
01:09to A View from the Terrace.
01:11It's a brand new campaign, it's a brand new studio
01:14and it's a brand new haircut
01:16but my name is still Craig Gordon Telfer
01:18and I am still here ranking, rating and reviewing
01:21every single atom of Scottish football
01:24from the superstars at the very top
01:26all the way through the pyramid.
01:28It's a very big job
01:29but helping me out are two very big boys.
01:32Up first, it's a man who was once described online as a swagless oath
01:37and what would happen to a hairy dog tangled in a fence
01:40if it was given human life for 24 hours.
01:43It's Craig Fowler.
01:44Oh, I just had two insults to kick us off.
01:47There's plenty more where that came from.
01:49I know!
01:50And up next, this man has one of the most distinctive voices
01:53in sports broadcasting.
01:55Imagine Murray Walker and Gerry the King Lawler had a child
01:58and fed it nothing but cabbage and ribs.
02:01It's Tony Anderson.
02:02Hello mate, how are we doing?
02:03Oh, I'm very well and it's great to get the opportunity
02:06to kick off this show with you both.
02:08How are you doing, Fowler?
02:09How's things been?
02:10Aye, tremendous.
02:11I had an excellent summer.
02:12Went to South America for three weeks
02:14and then I came back
02:15and for the first time in over a decade
02:17I got a season ticket
02:18and what a time to get it
02:20because my team are flying.
02:21Three weeks in South America, was it?
02:23Yes, it was.
02:24Somebody is doing alright.
02:27And you?
02:28Your team's doing no bad.
02:29Yes, Dennis Muir.
02:30Aye, doing really, really well
02:31but outside of that I just waited here for four months
02:34until we got the chance to...
02:35Did you build it up for us?
02:37Yeah, pretty much.
02:38I gave it a wee bit of finish and touch,
02:39polish some of the edge there
02:40but it's looking good
02:41and you know what?
02:42It's great to get the chance
02:43to spend the time with you.
02:44Three very insufferable people
02:45whose teams are doing well.
02:47Enjoy the show.
02:53Right, let's not muck around here lads.
02:55We are almost three months into the new season.
02:57So much has happened.
02:58There has been so much action
03:00and I would like to review everything that's happened
03:03in its binary form.
03:04Let's talk about the good and the bad,
03:06the winners and the losers
03:08from Scottish football so far this season.
03:10And it's more fun to talk about the losers
03:12so let's go to the biggest losers of them all, Tony.
03:14Aberdeen Football Club.
03:15It is absolutely mind-bending watching how Aberdeen's
03:21whole existence is playing out.
03:25Going into last season and this season we're now at five league wins in 32 games
03:29but with this random anomaly of winning the Scottish Cup in the mixer.
03:33But the bad part of last season has bled into this season
03:37and we're now six games in.
03:39And I saw this graphic kicking about the other day
03:41and it's just a list of the scores, pretty self-explanatory.
03:45As you would imagine after what I just said, none of them have scored.
03:48That is the only bleeding point in getting on the puck.
03:52Aberdeen's squad has scored more league goals for hearts this season
03:55than they have Aberdeen.
03:57What are we putting this down to?
03:59I think it must be some sort of satanic pact that was made last season
04:03that when they went to win the Scottish Cup
04:05you will have the time of your life
04:07but then after that it will be completely joyless.
04:09It is mad because the attacking talent in that squad is brilliant
04:13and yet they're not scoring any goals
04:15and they're not even like a defensive team.
04:17It's not like a manager who's just sitting to draw every game 0-0
04:20and if you get a goal all brilliant.
04:22They actually go out to try and attack teams.
04:23They just can't get the ball over the line.
04:25But that's the thing, if the attacking unit isn't working
04:27then neither is the defensive unit at the moment
04:29because you saw Dimitar Mitov who is the hero of that Scottish Cup win over Celtic
04:33saving penalties from Callum McGaigert and Alistair Johnson.
04:36He makes an inexplicable error in that defeat to Motherwell on Saturday.
04:41That was like the most unbelievable and yet believable thing
04:44that when Aberdeen missed all these opportunities to score
04:47he's like, well, at the very least they'll leave with a point
04:49and then Johnny Katrumbus cutting inside, shooting with his weaker foot
04:53and meet off with the worst mistake he's made in Scottish football so far.
04:57It was just, again, like I say, unbelievable but believable.
05:01Aberdeen are a really proud club.
05:02They're very, and rightly so, very proud of their heritage
05:05and they should be delighted with that Scottish Cup win back in May over Celtic
05:08but the more this goes on, it actually looks like Celtic lost the cup
05:12rather than Aberdeen won it.
05:14Yeah, I mean, it's hard to not look at it now and think that
05:16that Aberdeen team is the worst team that's ever won a major trophy in Scottish football history.
05:21But listen, if Aberdeen are the big losers so far this season,
05:25Craig Fowler, who are the big winners?
05:28It's got to be Tony Bloom's Heart of Midlothian.
05:30And we're only five minutes in and already we've become Hearts Fan TV.
05:33Well, to be fair, to be fair, yes, we say the word Hearts quite a lot on this show
05:37but come on, we have to talk about the team that's top of the Scottish Premiers
05:40that's statistically the best team in Scottish football at this point in time
05:43if we're forgetting about the League Cup.
05:45I mean, it's been an absolutely remarkable season.
05:47Not only are Hearts playing this really super high-tempo, aggressive brand of football,
05:52they're getting big wins.
05:53You know, they won at Ibrox for the first time in years.
05:56They've also managed to do it by signing these, like, unheralded, no-name players
06:00that have been sourced from various outposts around the continent.
06:02This is the point. This is Jamestown Analytics.
06:04This is what it is. You unearth the gems.
06:06So we're signing guys for the fourth tier of Italian football,
06:09the second tier of Norwegian football for the Slovakian top flight.
06:12There's somebody coming in from Kazakhstan in January.
06:15It all sounds so simple.
06:17Yes, aye.
06:18How does Jamestown work? Do you just go on it and go like that?
06:21Cheap, good, send, massive list.
06:25Just sign them all, aye.
06:27Mr. McInnes, are you sure? Sign them all.
06:30It seems so simple that why aren't other teams doing this?
06:33Whatever that magic algorithm is that Tony Bloom keeps so secret,
06:37we might never know.
06:38One day we might find out actually exactly what it is.
06:40Maybe it is, Tony says, maybe it's just cheap and good
06:42and everybody else is just over-complicating things.
06:44I don't know how secret he makes it.
06:45He came and handed hearts ten million pounds so they could use it.
06:49Oh, what secret? Please, use it.
06:51I know you're quite a pragmatic guy, quite a depressing guy at times,
06:55quite difficult to be around, but surely, Fowler,
06:57you must be getting a wee bit carried away at the moment.
07:00Celtic aren't very good, Rangers, even worse.
07:03That leaves it wide open for Hart and Midlovian to win the Premiership title 25-26.
07:08Do you think that?
07:09No, I don't, for obvious reasons.
07:11Warren!
07:12I think it's come maybe a little bit too early,
07:14but do you know what, when Tony Bloom spoke to the Hearts fans today,
07:17he says, I'll be surprised if we don't win a league in ten years.
07:20Right!
07:21Initially I was like, oh, don't do this, don't do this.
07:23But now I'm kind of like, well, I can actually see how this model could work.
07:26You bring these guys that are cheap, and then guys like Braga,
07:29guys like Kizaridis, have them maintain their form next summer,
07:32sell them on for a few million, reinvest it.
07:34Now I'm thinking, hmm, a title in the next ten years could be possible.
07:38You'd be saying that's the model that he's just come up with.
07:41Sign players cheap, sell them for more.
07:44I thought, oh God, Tony Bloom!
07:46I think it's more aggressive, I think it strips out the emotion of it,
07:49that you don't just hold on to guys because they're fan favourites.
07:51Fans are going to get their hearts broken every single season
07:53because these guys are just going to be moved on as soon as somebody comes out.
07:56As long as they're at the peak value.
07:58Yes, and as long as they keep doing it and keep winning season upon season,
08:01then it could happen.
08:02Now listen, that's what's been going on in the Scottish Premiership.
08:05I would like to talk about the big winners from the Scottish Championship,
08:09and that is St Johnson Football Club.
08:11Top of the table, flying high, an enormous gap between themselves in second place.
08:15Everything is going in their favour.
08:17I just think that St Johnson are basically, I already feel like that's done.
08:20They've already won the league.
08:22And with Simo Valakari there, it just seems they were quite brave keeping them on.
08:25It's really easy to get rid of a manager of relegation,
08:27but with his style, the way he wants to play football,
08:30it really suits playing a team at the top end of a league.
08:33And then on top of that, you've got a guy like Josh McPake,
08:35who has been revitalised, re-energised,
08:38and is arguably the best player outside the top flight at the moment.
08:41And a club should always be looking to play at the highest level possible,
08:44but when they do get relegated, you want to see them being revitalised.
08:48Yeah, you're going to see it.
08:49But that's been the case.
08:50Relegation's been good at St Johnson,
08:52and when they go back to the Premiership,
08:54and I think it is a matter of time,
08:55they will go back a far better club than the one who left.
08:57I never thought I'd say this, but St Johnson have got a bit of an aura about them.
09:01I'm stuck with this aura thing.
09:03I'm just imagining all the farmers coming up,
09:05having a big aura with the tractor, with the suspension going up like that.
09:10Here they go.
09:12Not every season can be plain sailing.
09:14There has to be Grumbles somewhere,
09:16and it came in the form, weirdly enough,
09:18of a competition, ostensibly for children,
09:20to design a Halloween-themed T-shirt that would go on sale in the club store.
09:24And there are a couple of designs submitted,
09:26including one by a professional cartoonist called Steve Bright.
09:29But it does give me the vibe that maybe they were like,
09:31the stuff that was coming in was rubbish.
09:33Yeah.
09:34We need to have to sell this.
09:35We want to make a few quid.
09:36Steve-o, you still doing that?
09:38You doing a bit of that old painting still, son?
09:40It's like Adam Webb going through all these things.
09:42These are terrible. These will never sell.
09:44Get me the number of the cartoonist.
09:46Now, St Johnson are the winners in the Scottish Championship.
09:50Who are the losers?
09:51The pre-season favourites, Ross County.
09:54They have been stinking to start the campaign,
09:56and they're already in a new manager.
09:58Who's now brought in another manager alongside him.
10:01Tony Doherty replacing Downcowie,
10:03and then got Callum Davidson as his assistant slash defensive coordinator.
10:07But if you said at the beginning of the season
10:09that Ross County would begin the campaign with four points from eight matches,
10:13and have yet to actually win a game,
10:15I don't think anyone would have believed you.
10:17It was funny, because everybody praised their recruitment,
10:18and then St Johnson's initial signings,
10:20everybody was like, hmm, not sure about them.
10:22But I think maybe in hindsight we got a bit wrong in the fact
10:25that County went for these guys who are experienced players,
10:28played for many years at the highest level,
10:30and now they're dropping down a level.
10:31Don't necessarily have a point to prove.
10:33Yes.
10:34On paper, they made a number of good signings,
10:35like Ross Doherty, former Dundee United captain,
10:37and Declan Gallagher, former Scotland international.
10:40Yeah, now he's been made captain by Tony Doherty,
10:42but he has had an appalling season so far,
10:45and it's best summed up by the game against Queen's Park.
10:48They were beating 2-1 at home.
10:49Gallagher was at fault for the first goal,
10:51and then he was sent off, hauling down Matty Shields,
10:53and you could just see it written all over him
10:56as he lay there, face down on the turf,
10:59just taking it all in, this disaster of a season,
11:02as the referee's standing there patiently waiting to send them off.
11:04I actually felt as the referee is like, I feel really bad to him.
11:07I feel really bad I'm going to have to show him this.
11:09Cos he's lying motionless on the board,
11:11like a dead body, and the referee's like,
11:13Declan, Declan, Declan, and then eventually just has to slide the red card.
11:21There's something not quite right at Ross County,
11:23and it'll be very interesting to see how Tony Doherty
11:27extricates the club from their current position.
11:30Tony, let's talk about winners, let's talk about silly season,
11:34and let's talk about Scottish clubs having a good laugh on the continent.
11:37What a time to see Hibs and Dundee United go to some, like,
11:41massive heritage European clubs, going to Rapid Vienna,
11:44Partizan, Belgrade, Legia Warsaw.
11:46I mean, that's the most successful club in Polish history.
11:49And just cause absolute havoc. I mean, like, seven goals were scored.
11:52And even if you take away the away side of it,
11:55we saw Kieran Bowie probably score the greatest goal
11:58a Scottish player's ever scored in European competition.
12:02And it's just, it was so much fun to be a part of.
12:06The videos that we saw from the time in Europe,
12:09particularly saying Hibs away, aha, aha, I like it,
12:11are absolutely fantastic.
12:12Yeah, the one in Denmark where you can see the whole stand,
12:14cause Hibs got the whole stand at the back there going right along.
12:17And even, like, people, even outside the stands,
12:26people driving around the airports, doing like that.
12:29There was something so amazing about it,
12:34cause you were going to, like, some of the,
12:36well, the most intimidating atmospheres in Europe.
12:39In Europe, Belgrade, Warsaw, famous across Europe.
12:42But then when the goals are going in,
12:44and you're playing these,
12:45they've got the huge flares going everywhere.
12:47Absolute mad.
12:48And everyone's like, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh, duh.
12:51As always with Scottish football, it was so close, but yet so far.
12:55Yeah, how do you sum that up then?
12:56The fact that you did come within touch and distance
12:58to getting the Europa League football?
13:00It was an absolute gut punch.
13:01And like, now it's like, with all that,
13:03it was like, the six, the six games,
13:05it was like, Thursday, Thursday, Thursday.
13:07Then the league season comes in,
13:09Thursday, Thursday, Thursday.
13:10And then by the time you're out,
13:11I'm absolutely, I was absolutely knackered.
13:13The travelling was mental trying to get back.
13:15And then you've got, and then by the time,
13:17I'm footballed out.
13:18And then you're like, alright, there's an entire season.
13:20Now, there are some stories in Scottish football
13:23that are a bit more complex and require a deeper analysis.
13:27So I think this is the perfect opportunity
13:29to talk about the hottest topic
13:31that's in Scottish football right now.
13:33And that is fan protests.
13:35There are three clubs in the SPFL,
13:37all of varying levels.
13:38They're all going through their own additions
13:40of existential crisis.
13:41So I think it's a good idea to examine them,
13:43talk about them, and try to understand
13:45what is going wrong at those teams.
13:47And we'll start with yourself first, Craig Fowler.
13:49Let's talk about Rangers Football Club.
13:51I think it is best summed up by
13:53the game against Livingston last weekend
13:55where Rangers score a 94th minute winner.
13:57And within about five seconds of that ball hitting the back of it,
14:01you can hear the Rangers fans chanting,
14:03Martin, Martin, get to fuck.
14:05Alright.
14:06Russell Martin really can't do right for doing wrong, can he?
14:09No, they never really liked him from the start.
14:11They didn't really think he had necessarily had the pedigree
14:13to manage Rangers, and they just didn't like him as a person, really.
14:17Yeah, you can remove all the pedigree stuff.
14:19They don't like the fact that he puts his hair around like that.
14:21They don't like what he eats for his dinner.
14:23When he was previewing the Livingston game
14:26with a pair of glasses, I saw people commenting on him
14:28saying, he's doing this just to wind us up.
14:31A man wants to see better, and it annoys you.
14:34That's just, when you're in that sort of position,
14:36you really are, it's no one.
14:38You're fighting a losing battle.
14:39Yeah, and you saw it as well with the League Cup game against Hibbs,
14:42one of his, again, like the Living game,
14:44one of his rare high points in domestic football so far,
14:47where, during the match, they've got the big banners
14:50with Martin's face and the no-smoking sign over the top of it.
14:53And it was that, Patrick Stewart as well, the chief executive as well,
14:56who they're obviously blaming for hiring Martin in the first place.
14:59Because, obviously, if you make a mistake of manager,
15:01you have to go yourself.
15:03Straight away.
15:04Now, while Rangers are unhappy that their manager is a vegan,
15:06I'm going to talk about a club who are fighting for the very existence.
15:10And that is Hamilton Academico.
15:12You know, the last couple of years have been really difficult for Aki's fans,
15:16but I think the six months especially have been incredibly testing.
15:19For breaching a number of SPFL rules,
15:21they were deducted 15 points at the tail end of last season.
15:24That ultimately led to the relegation into League One.
15:27And then, the day after that, it was announced
15:29that the club were moving from New Douglas Park in Hamilton
15:31to Broadwood in Cumbernauld, 14 miles away.
15:34A stadium that no one wants to use.
15:35A stadium that no one wants to use at all.
15:37And then it was revealed a couple of weeks left will be placed under a transfer embargo
15:42for the breach of these rules.
15:44Now, they took on Montrose on the opening game of the season at Broadwood
15:47and before the match, a number of fans were protesting outside the ground.
15:50The footage is actually captured there by a vlogger.
15:52And you can see the fans really unhappy with the move to Cumbernauld,
15:56the mismanagement in the club.
15:58So, they're in a real sad place.
16:00The fact that the club has been moved 14 miles down the road.
16:03The fact that they are under a transfer embargo.
16:05There is talk of a takeover.
16:07It's yet to materialise.
16:08But Hamilton's position is pretty perilous.
16:11I kind of found it hard to even try to have a laugh about it.
16:14Because it's just really sad.
16:15Like, imagine that happening to your club.
16:17It's like systematic destruction from the people who are supposed to be custodians.
16:21If you're a custodian, you're supposed to be looking after the club.
16:24And it's clear that they're not doing that.
16:25Yeah, definitely.
16:26The idea of financial mismanagement.
16:28I think the director of football, Gerry Strain, particularly disliked at the club.
16:32Wait till they find out he's vegan.
16:33They're going to be absolutely furious with it.
16:36But it just shows the contrast in what's going on at the clubs.
16:39And if we're talking about a big club and a smaller club,
16:42let's finish up by looking at a bigger club.
16:44And that's Celtic.
16:45What, the biggest club?
16:46Is that what you're saying to me?
16:47Oh!
16:48The big team found!
16:49Yeah, with Celtic, it's more of an existential thing.
16:54I mean, last year, after years and years of not moving forward at all in Europe,
16:59they finally sort of break through that.
17:01They finally seem to have found their place in it.
17:03And they were really, really unlucky against Bayern Munich to get knocked out at that stage.
17:07But from then, it was like that moment.
17:09It was like a switch went off.
17:10And it's like, right, we give up.
17:11They started drawing all the games in the Scottish Premiership.
17:14And now when we've come to the summer, it's like the transfer window just snuck up on them.
17:18Not everyone just completely forgot about it.
17:21And then they had one of their most embarrassing results in Europe ever.
17:24And they...
17:25They had Almaty.
17:26Yeah.
17:27The classic champions.
17:28Yeah.
17:29And they went, what, 210 minutes without scoring a goal against them.
17:32So, for the Celtic fans, for them, the context is everything.
17:36They put so much into Celtic.
17:38They understand that they have probably one of the most unique situations in football,
17:42which is perfect for maybe making a speculative signing or two, getting yourself ready.
17:47This season, for example, the Champions League, that's not going to be as easy to get from now on.
17:51So, it seemed sensible this time, from even a business perspective, never tell you a sporting perspective,
17:56to really get ready and make sure that we make that so we can push forward.
17:59But they say, no, do it.
18:00It just always feels like Celtic are run like a tiny club, despite being one of the biggest clubs on the planet.
18:05It's not quite a scale of Hamilton, but Celtic fans have got the right to be very angry at their board.
18:10The fans want to feel when they invest so much time, money and enthusiasm, right,
18:14that they're going to try and break into other parts of it.
18:16I think, as well, the fan protest, everyone needs to be united in order to make them work.
18:21I mean, Celtic protesting at Rugby Park at their away game against Kilmarnock,
18:25where the fans were going to enter the ground after 12 minutes to make the point they are the 12th man
18:29and without them, Celtic won't have a support.
18:32In theory, it's a good idea, but in practice, I mean, half their away stand was full by the time they came in.
18:38So, when these fans did turn up, it looked like a supporters bus had broken down on the way to the ground
18:42and these guys had just made it. It did not have the impact that it should have done,
18:45because not everyone was pulling in the same direction.
18:47I think a problem with that, as well, is that you need to vote more with your feet, like in general.
18:52Rather than doing these things, making a protest of coming in 15 minutes late
18:56or leaving 15 minutes from the end or whatever, you're still giving the club money.
19:00I think the only way that it ever makes boards sit up and pay attention is to withdraw your funds.
19:05Protests can work as well. I mean, and Tony Hibernian, they've probably had one of the most famous
19:09fan movements in Scottish football.
19:11Yeah, I mean, we take you back to 1990. I was four years old. This is actually my earliest memory of football.
19:18It was Wallace Mercer. He tried to make an aggressive takeover. Hibbs, I mean, he called it a merger,
19:23but he was going to use the football club of Hibernian and Heart of Midlothian.
19:26It was an incredible time, because to see, like, they unified the whole Hibbs fan base, and it was like military precision.
19:36They'd done a six-week campaign where there are buses going through Edinburgh.
19:40Like, this is when Sunshine and Leaf became the unofficial anthem of the club.
19:44The Proclaimers were there. They were hosting gigs at the Usher Hall in Edinburgh.
19:49And it all ended with David Duff, who was the chairman at Hibbs there.
19:52And he wasn't very popular, because, obviously, his financial mismanagement is what led to this situation.
19:57Wallace Mercer needed his shares to get over there.
19:59He actually sat in Wallace Mercer's office and set fire to his shares in front of them.
20:04So, I mean, this is, it was such a cultural movement, and the T-shirts were really, really cool.
20:09So, it's like the memory of...
20:10Hands off Hibbs. It's a good name as well, yeah.
20:12Hands off Hibbs. It all really worked.
20:14So, now you can look back at a difficult time.
20:16It's now probably one of the most romanticised periods.
20:18And managing to get Tom Farmer to come forward and save the club like his grandfather done a hundred years earlier.
20:25Done the exact same thing, despite not being involved in football.
20:27It now looks as actually quite a magical time.
20:30Hibbs went on and won the Skull Cup that season.
20:32I think in every instance, though, the protest, they can be justified.
20:35Yes, the barrier for entry might have reduced in recent years.
20:38And yes, if you're just unhappy with the fact your manager's got a middle parting, then...
20:43You need to have...
20:44And glasses.
20:45You need to have slightly higher standards.
20:46But I always think that it's all relative to the football club.
20:49The fact that people think Celtic are the most successful football club in the country are just unhappy that they're not winning.
20:55Yeah.
20:56They don't have as good a squad as they think.
20:58That's all relative to the fans.
20:59The fact that Rangers fans are not happy with the direction of the club, it's all relative to them.
21:02The fact that Hamilton fans are not happy with the very existence of their club...
21:05Everyone would be angry about that.
21:07It's all relative to them.
21:08So, yeah, I think that in most instances, protests are correct.
21:12Yeah, everybody in football should have the right, as a fan, to hold accountable the people who are in charge of their club.
21:18Because without that, then things could get a lot worse.
21:21And nowadays in Scottish football, we have so much foreign investment.
21:24The clubs have now been further away from their communities, let's be honest.
21:27Especially in Hamilton's case.
21:29And we have to treat that with suspicion.
21:34People have to prove their reasons for being involved, and protests is the quickest way to do that.
21:38MUSIC PLAYS
21:59With them.
22:00That ball.
22:01This side.
22:02I suppose it's like a first love that you can't let go of.
22:06It doesn't actually feel like we've been away.
22:08It seems like we've been more like an exile or something.
22:11We're waiting to come back.
22:15Our journey to our new home takes us past the stadium.
22:28Which is quite ironic.
22:30We finish our game.
22:32We cross down the bridge.
22:35And there they are.
22:37And this Caledonian Thessalon.
22:39It's almost comical.
22:42We wish them all the worst.
22:44And home we go.
22:47I just wish that they took our Thistle part away.
22:51So as not to confuse anybody with what we have going.
22:54Which is the rebirth of Evernest Thistle.
22:59My name is Russell Hepburn.
23:00Evernest Thistle is obviously my club.
23:02We were formed in 1885 and were the inaugural champions of the Highland League.
23:09I was taken to Thistle Park from the age of four.
23:11Onwards with family and relatives.
23:13It's always been in my blood.
23:16Growing up as a Thistle fan was a great experience.
23:18Because in those days we had brilliant derby matches.
23:23So local rival were called Caledonian or Cali.
23:26And that was a brilliant occasion.
23:28Something to really look forward to.
23:31Previous team, our last ever competitive fixture versus Lossiemouth.
23:34That's 93-94.
23:38In 92-93 I think it was.
23:40There seemed to be a groundswell of opinion that Thistle and Cali would have to merge as one team.
23:46The merger of Inverness clubs Caledonian and Thistle became an on-field reality at the weekend.
23:52It's not hard to see why the Thistle fans are so blue.
23:56Dead set against it, as all Ardent fans were.
24:00The new team's strip is almost a carbon copy of the old blue Cali shirt.
24:04The team's playing in Cali Park with Cali's former manager and most of Cali's players.
24:09It was never a question of would I ever attend and follow that club.
24:14It was never a question.
24:15So basically that was my Saturdays and the football capacity had gone.
24:18And that was it finished.
24:20To me Thistle were the first and last.
24:22And once they went, I would never have a passion to support another club.
24:27I kind of lost a lot of love for football.
24:31It's been indifference every other Saturday for 31 years.
24:39I got a phone call saying that there was a small group floating the idea of bringing Thistle back.
24:46And obviously I just jumped onto that.
24:49It was a no-brainer, absolutely.
25:01I mean, this Thistle FC, founded in 2024, gained admittance into the North Caledonian League.
25:08And that's the sixth tier of Scottish football.
25:11Ah, brilliant, mate.
25:13They've even got the wonky touchlines.
25:16It's exciting.
25:17They've been playing well.
25:18It's a good concept and people are buying into it.
25:21Ah, it's a cracker, innit?
25:23So now you have us playing in much lesser league outside of town.
25:40You've got to start somewhere.
25:43It's kind of funny coming here because obviously it's not a stadium as such.
25:46We don't have the main stand, the tin shed and whatnot.
25:48There's no admittance fee.
25:49You come for a gate, you're on the sidelines, you're behind this piece of rope and whatnot.
25:54But it's a great hope.
25:57The Jags usually play in the red and black vertical stripes, as in AC Milan.
26:00Today we're playing the waist strip, which has always been the sky blue with the purple trim.
26:04I keep saying I'm never going to wear it again because it sounds like 31 years of age.
26:08Can't help it.
26:22I've not seen these guys for years and I know it means as much to them as it means to me.
26:27The memories and everything just comes flooding back.
26:29It's like a huge reunion on the sidelines.
26:34This is the Temporal Hotel.
26:36It's a beautiful asset over here.
26:37That's a beautiful situation.
26:45CAR COME ON THE WEEK.
26:46Could you reverse Genesis Hotel so that they're marketing?
26:52Let's set La Celle she knows him.
26:56We won the bus, we won the bus.
26:57There you go!
27:02Yes!
27:03Come on!
27:05Yes!
27:11Our ultimate aim is to get back into playing in the Highland League.
27:17For me, just getting our club, our colours and my Saturdays back,
27:21it's incredible.
27:23Miracles do not.
27:34So, as autumn rolls in, we are well and truly in the midst of the season.
27:39Every team's squad is settled,
27:41and we know the difference from our great white hopes
27:43to our great big hoodies.
27:45And I want to discuss this magical time in a bit more depth,
27:49that magical time known as the summer transfer window.
27:52Now, every nation that's involved with FIFA and UEFA has a summer transfer window,
27:57but no one does it quite as good as Scotland.
28:00Craig Fowler, what does the transfer window mean to you?
28:03The transfer window is a special and unique time of the year.
28:07Especially the summer transfer window.
28:09Because in January, there's still a lot of moving parts going on.
28:11Summer, there's no football.
28:13And you've drawn a line under what's come before.
28:15Usually crushing disappointment.
28:17But the summer offers hope.
28:19It offers the ability that anybody you bring in can be the next club hero.
28:24The next player to lead you to, like, cup victory or a league title
28:28and forever be somebody that's going to be within your heart.
28:31Even when they're signed from a low level and some fans are like,
28:34well, I'm not sure about this.
28:36There's always an instance of somebody you can fall back on.
28:38Well, he came from that level and he was brilliant.
28:41So it's just the time of the year where everybody's at their most happiest
28:44because anything is possible.
28:46Everyone's at their happiest, but everyone's also at their most curious, Tony.
28:50And it turns some people into detectives.
28:52Oh, man, this new thing.
28:54People are so desperate to know who's coming into their club.
28:57You can't wait for the tweet to drop.
28:59Everybody wants to be ITK.
29:01Yeah, everyone wants to have that.
29:03And my favourite part of this genre that I've seen in recent years is
29:07there was a guy on Hibs.net called Saul Goodman.
29:10All right?
29:11And he, through, like, scouring social media profiles,
29:15for this player it was specifically Stefano Mionga,
29:18he managed to figure out that he was leaving at a specific time on us flight
29:23and he managed to look at the flight times and work here.
29:25Well, that was four hours ago.
29:26So that means he might have been on the flight from Milan
29:29that was at 6 a.m. landing at 10 past 8 in Edinburgh.
29:33So he's figuring all this out.
29:34And then Omionga posts something on his social media with the sun.
29:38And I quote,
29:39You can see the reflection of the sun in the wingtip of the plane.
29:42The sun is rising on the opposite side of the plane to him.
29:45Ergo, the plane is flying north over the Swiss Alps.
29:47And not south.
29:48And yes, it might be insane, but he was absolutely spot on.
29:52That's just an incredible level of detail just to find out
29:56whether or not a fairly ordinary midfielder was going to be joining the football club.
30:01Every summer transferendo, that's a time when squads are turned over
30:04and you might see that, like, to a real big extent
30:06where sometimes 20 players leave, 20 players come in,
30:09but it's normally done over a period of several months.
30:12It's very rare that clubs will turn over the entire teams all on the same day.
30:17But that's exactly what happened to Kilmarnock in the summer of 2016.
30:21On the 30th of June 2016, the then manager, Lee Clark,
30:26brought 11 players into his club at the one time.
30:30As we can see with this incredible photograph that was posted on Kilmarnock's Twitter page.
30:35Now, I'm going to do my best Norm MacDonald at the YouTube Awards voice here
30:39when I list all 11 players.
30:41Callum McFadgen, Josh Webb, Jamie Cobain, Jonathan Byrne, Mark Waddington,
30:47William Boyle, Jordan Jones, Martin Smith, Oliver Davis, Solomon Coulibaly, and Flo Bojaj is here.
30:56The true stars of this period of time at Kilmarnock is the admin staff.
31:00Like, that is an absolute... What a job!
31:03Yeah, yeah, they're all the people, guys are all the same.
31:05We need pensions, we need HR, we need all sorts, cheers lads, all the best.
31:10They not only had the infamous photo, but they also had a press conference
31:13where the journalists spoke to every single one of them at the same time.
31:16How long's the desk, just imagine?
31:19And that's what, again, what makes it so magical,
31:21is anything that happened last season, it doesn't matter.
31:24Here's a brand new team, they've been entirely signed,
31:26everything you knew doesn't matter.
31:28A lot of the time when we see new players coming in
31:30in the summer transfer window, there's a lot of hype created about them,
31:32you know, they get absolutely fantastic graphics, incredible photographs,
31:35you know, there's like a real team of people involved,
31:38you know, Photoshop, After Effects, the works, they hype up these players
31:42and make them look as magnificent as possible.
31:45Wasn't quite the case in the summer of 2017,
31:48when Stennis Muir signed Ross Dunlop and Mick Dunlop from Albain Rovers,
31:52and rather than putting them in a glitzy studio
31:54and giving them a lot of pizzazz and razzmatazz,
31:56they basically took photographs of them in McDonald's restaurant,
31:58signing their contracts.
32:00As Fowler mentioned earlier, everyone wants to be ITK
32:03about the summer transfer window, but some people like to play pranks,
32:07and our very own Joel Sked fell foul of one of these pranks recently.
32:12Oh, this one.
32:13From Handsome Flacco Jodoye,
32:16are we looking at Anderlecht striker Haywood Jablomi?
32:19I need to double it, I need to see if this is actually a real person.
32:23It's like you're getting Bart Simpson.
32:25Yeah.
32:27Haywood Jablomi.
32:30Ah, okay, I see what's happened here.
32:32I've just read that about it.
32:35Oh, dear.
32:36I bet that will live as easy.
32:38Try to put it in a video.
32:39Haywood Jablomi.
32:41That will stay with me forever.
32:44Just the same time mouthing the words out,
32:46pennies drop.
32:48I've just been made a fool of.
32:50Just another day at the office.
32:53There's been a lot of players that have come in over the summer.
32:56Tony, who has been your favourite so far?
32:58Actually, this is really easy.
33:00Emmanuel Longelo.
33:02Alright, thank you.
33:03That's signed for Motherwell.
33:04He's signed from Birmingham.
33:05For a reported like a six-figure fee.
33:07But this guy is liquid Scottish football.
33:10You cannot miss him on the pitch.
33:12His engine up and down left-hand side.
33:14He's really good at dribbling.
33:15He drops through a slalom in three players.
33:16But always when it gets to the NBA,
33:18he just crosses the ball out the pitch.
33:20It's mesmerising.
33:22But on top of that,
33:24he might not have brought his crossing boots,
33:25but he's absolutely brought his shooting boots.
33:27He's already got four goals from other well from full back.
33:31Right now, I think he's been involved in 44% of their league goals.
33:35This guy is pure Scottish football,
33:37and I hope it just continues to rattle on this way.
33:40There is a lot of football taking place over the weekend,
33:44and I think we owe it to ourselves and to our viewers
33:46to select the very best games.
33:48The connoisseur's choice of where to go at the weekend.
33:51And we've got a hearts fan,
33:53and we've got a house fan,
33:54and I think in the Scottish Premiership,
33:56there is only one game we can discuss.
33:58The Edinburgh Derby.
33:59Yeah, the pissed-up derby as it'll be this weekend,
34:01because this game is live on the telly at 5.45 kick-off on a Saturday.
34:06All police leave cancelled.
34:08Yeah, I have no idea how the police actually agreed to this,
34:11but do you know what?
34:12Hopefully, everybody behaves themselves to an extent.
34:14You still want the tribalism, you still want the hatred,
34:17but it should lead, at the very least,
34:19to an absolutely cracking atmosphere,
34:20and hopefully, almost expectantly,
34:23surely, surely, with everything going on with both teams,
34:26we should have a good game of football between the two for a change.
34:29How are you feeling about it, Phil? Are you feeling confident?
34:32I'm actually confident,
34:33especially since Hibs have won the last two matches.
34:36One defeat and eight?
34:38Aye, still stings.
34:39I feel like we're due.
34:40Hibs are doing reasonably well at the moment.
34:41Maybe they would have hoped to be doing a little bit better than this,
34:44considering how good they were last season,
34:45and how good they looked in the European games.
34:48But they're still undefeated in the league,
34:50and Hearts obviously spoke about them earlier,
34:52absolutely flying at the top of the table,
34:53Hearts at home.
34:54So, yeah, I do have confidence that Hearts will use that momentum,
34:57going into this game,
34:58to be able to get the better of their rivals.
35:00I'm buzzing about the fact that,
35:02obviously, because Hibs are still undefeated,
35:04but not in as a cool way as possibly Hearts,
35:06and the hand-wringing that's going on,
35:08as always, about Hearts being good,
35:09it always just hits the stratosphere.
35:11So, to do it this time,
35:13go to Tyne Castle and beat them,
35:15and actually be the only undefeated team left in Edinburgh,
35:18I think will be very, very sweet.
35:20You're pretty confident in this one, Tony.
35:21You're pretty juiced up for it.
35:23All these guys that have come for these lower-league teams,
35:26have they ever played in the real stuff?
35:28Where it's like poison?
35:29Everyone's like,
35:30how are they going to cup a lot?
35:31Well, that's fine now.
35:33Well, you know it's something,
35:34that's a very compelling argument to go to Tyne Castle for this one,
35:37but I suggest that you can maybe make a double-header of this.
35:40I'm going to talk about the real Edinburgh Derby.
35:43It's taking place at Ainslie Park at 3 o'clock
35:45between the Spartans and Edinburgh City.
35:48This is going to be a fantastic game.
35:50It's top of League 2 versus the bottom of League 2,
35:52and I think there's a lot riding in this one.
35:54But really, the teams are pretty evenly matched,
35:56because we're talking about a points deduction
35:57that's really making it like this, isn't it?
35:59Aye, I think it's important to talk about Edinburgh's current situation.
36:02They were deducted 15 points at the beginning of the season,
36:04which really scuppered any hopes they had of challenging for the title.
36:07They triggered an insolvency event for owing a small bit of money to a creditor,
36:12and even though it was only for such a short period,
36:14that comes with a 15-point deduction.
36:16However, it has had a galvanising effect on the club.
36:19They have been chipping away at that 15-point deduction.
36:22They've been playing some pretty good football at the process,
36:24and if they can win on Saturday, it takes them to zero points.
36:27That might not sound like a particularly great achievement,
36:29but I think psychologically it's enormous for them,
36:32and I think that can give them the platform to go and kick up the table.
36:35It's not out with the realms of possibility,
36:37but I think Edinburgh could actually finish in the playoffs this season,
36:39even with that points deduction.
36:41Well, I mean, you are quite literally the mouthpiece of Edinburgh City football.
36:45Oh, yeah! I don't mind saying that.
36:48I think Edinburgh City could take on Real Madrid,
36:51and I think Michael McAdoo's team have got a wee bit of a chance here.
36:54But it's also still going to be a really tough game,
36:57because the Spartans are flying at the top of the table.
37:00A four-point lead over East Coast Round.
37:01Yeah.
37:02Not many people saw that coming out of this season.
37:03The teams don't like each other.
37:04That goes back a number of years,
37:06but the Spartans do have the edge here.
37:08Last season they won both encounters at Ainsley Park.
37:11They've got a lot riding on this one.
37:13So, aye, make it a double-header.
37:14Ainsley Park in the afternoon.
37:16Tyne Castle later in the evening.
37:18Well, that all sounds exceptional.
37:20Yeah.
37:21It'll be a wonderful day out, and you're expecting some great football,
37:24but it's all a bit mainstream, is it not?
37:26Well, I mean, it's all a bit like...
37:28Spartans versus Edinburgh City, yeah.
37:29LAUGHTER
37:30That's certainly right, Tony.
37:31That is too mainstream.
37:32I'm sorry.
37:33Did you get a ticket for the Oasis game?
37:35Did you enjoy it?
37:36LAUGHTER
37:37But to know things that are going to be good,
37:39you need things that are bad to have that yin and yang.
37:43So, I want to take you to quite literally the worst full-time team in Scotland,
37:50and that is up the north-east once again, where football is going to die this year,
37:54and Cove Rangers are away at East Fife.
37:57Yeah, it's not been a good season at all for Cove Rangers.
38:00They lost to Kelty Harts the weekend, beating 2-0,
38:02and they're actually adrift at the bottom of League One.
38:06It's not been a good season at all for Paul Hartley.
38:08I think there's been, like, cutbacks at the club.
38:10Yeah, they don't seem to have any players.
38:11No, cutbacks at the club doesn't necessarily be able to recruit the players that you want.
38:15A lot of key players are missing.
38:17Mikey Doyle, one of the most reliable players in the squad.
38:19He's out injured, Fraser Fivey, Declan Glass.
38:21It's effectively a lot of young, inexperienced players
38:24taking their first steps in the game,
38:26smattered with a bit of experience there.
38:27It's not going well.
38:28It's good that you've given, like, a bit of context to people,
38:31because for me, when I was looking at it, I was like,
38:33did they not finish second last season
38:35and were, like, on the brink of being promoted to the Championship?
38:38So, I was a bit, that's the reason I wanted to go.
38:40Like, what the hell is going on in there?
38:42And East Fife, they're mid-table,
38:44but they've been, like, their games have been really exciting.
38:47I mean, they've averaged three goals a game this year.
38:49So, even though we're talking about everything that's going to be bad,
38:52we're doing it in a world where I think there's going to be loads of goals
38:55and loads of excitement.
38:56Well, gentlemen, I think that'll do us for the time being.
38:59But, before we head up the road,
39:01can I ask you both to take me on a little game known as The Banker.
39:06Yes, it is back for season number eight.
39:10You know how it works by now.
39:12It's me versus The Stink.
39:14Every week we guess the outcome of Scottish football matches
39:18and we get points for every correct prediction we make.
39:22This week, just like every other week, we are competing for this.
39:26The Eamon Brophy Lone Wolf Trophy.
39:30Bigger, better and more beautiful than it was last year.
39:34You can barely look at it, it's so sparkly.
39:36And it's something that's got wings as well.
39:38Where did they come from?
39:40To fly away from you when you're trying to win it.
39:44No more, Tony. No more.
39:46That trophy is going to be mine.
39:48And now, Scotland men's team have got two enormous games
39:52coming up next week in their World Cup qualifying campaign.
39:55And to celebrate that fact, the stipulation this week is
39:59you can pick from any team in the SPFL to win,
40:03but they must be managed by a former Scotland international
40:06or a former Scotland B international.
40:09So, limited options, but options all the same.
40:14Not as many as you'd think.
40:15But Craig Fowler, we'll come to you first.
40:17What are you going for?
40:18I'm going to ignore Derek McInnesy's humble Scotland career.
40:20Come on.
40:21And instead, I'm going to go for Partick Thistle and Mark Wilson
40:26to beat our both at home.
40:28It's a tricky game.
40:30Our both are doing a lot better in the Championship
40:31than I think many expected coming out of this season.
40:34So, I wouldn't be surprised if this is a bit of a banana skin.
40:37But Thistle are just flying at this point in time.
40:39They're winning every single week.
40:40They're playing some really nice football.
40:42And a lot of Thistle fans who, in the summer,
40:44were really unsure about how it happened,
40:47how Wilson got the job.
40:48Felt it was kind of like a cheaper option or kind of lazy option.
40:50And he didn't have the best of managerial careers before that.
40:54But fair play to him.
40:55He's really getting a tune out of this team.
40:57He's absolutely cooking at the moment.
40:58And I'm really annoyed because that was exactly the game
41:01that I was going to go for.
41:03Yes.
41:04But nevertheless, still plenty to pick from.
41:05So, I'm going to look very close to home.
41:07And I am going to back Stennis Bure manager Gary Naismith,
41:10one of the best left backs this country has ever produced.
41:13I'm going to back his team to beat Montrose.
41:16Now, Montrose are in really good form at the moment.
41:18Really good form, actually.
41:19Six wins and undefeated in seven in all competitions.
41:22And Stennis Bure, yes, they lost against Hamilton Academical
41:24at the weekend.
41:25But prior to that, they were absolutely flying.
41:27And I think it's a really good opportunity for Stennis Bure
41:29to bounce back.
41:30Stennis Bure to win.
41:31And a point to me.
41:33Tony Anderson, what's his second pick?
41:35Let's go to Pataudry, where Aberdeen are playing Dundee
41:39with Steven Presley, of course, having a pretty big Scotland career
41:44in the past.
41:45And this seems like two teams.
41:48It's the two teams at the bottom of the division.
41:51And we were talking about Russell Martin earlier.
41:54Another manager who came in and everyone was already unhappy
41:57about Steven Presley, man.
41:58They were not impressed.
42:00And again, we've got to the same thing.
42:02They don't like the way he sits.
42:03They don't like the way that his hair lies.
42:06They don't like the fact that maybe he's aged since the last song.
42:12But it feels like such a massive game.
42:15I mean, it's huge.
42:16For both clubs, it could be huge.
42:18Because suddenly it could change the whole narrative about him.
42:21He's got a big win away from home.
42:23And like I said, for Aberdeen, it would really be
42:25we are kicking around end of days.
42:27So that's Steven Presley's Dundee to get the win at Pataudry.
42:30Why not?
42:31Now, for my final pick, I'm going to go to the capital city.
42:34There's a very, very big game taking place.
42:37And I'm back in Edinburgh city to beat the Spartans.
42:40It's simple.
42:41Michael McIndoe, a Scotland B cap.
42:44Listen, I would run through brick walls for that man.
42:47I know.
42:48And I'm not one of his players.
42:49I just think it's a great opportunity for the Spartans
42:53to extend their lead at the top of the table.
42:55But there's so much riding in it for Edinburgh city.
42:57And if they can get to zero points, particularly against the Spartans,
43:01I think it's going to be enormous for them.
43:02So I am backing the citizens for this one.
43:04Did sign off a very good record in the derby last year as well.
43:07They won two games where they were both at home.
43:09They lost both games away.
43:10Ah, right, OK.
43:11The Law of Averages.
43:12The Law of Averages face back.
43:14Listen, that's the best thing to put your faith in.
43:17The Law of Averages.
43:18Because if you can't think of any rational or analytical reason
43:21to pick someone, just go over the Law of Averages.
43:23Eight seasons of doing this and that's what you become your...
43:26..become your tagline, cos it's just easier.
43:28Yeah, that's...
43:29Law of Averages, cheers.
43:31A view from the terrace.
43:32The Law of Averages.
43:33The Law of Averages.
43:34LAUGHTER
43:35Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick...
43:37..tock, tick, tick...
43:38..tock, tick, tick, tick, tick...
43:39..tock, tick, tick, tick, tick, tick...
43:40..one.
43:41What was that?
43:42It's true, say, say, is it gonna be the same?
43:44Do you remember the man who used to say it?
43:47Never been with him.
43:48I wasn't feeling someone from the seventies.
43:50I had all the sins, but now it made me all the sound.
43:53And you never can't, and this can know where else,
43:55and now I say it.
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