- 2 days ago
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00:00Oh
00:02No
00:18Nothing's ever straight forward in this stupid house
00:30Yes, hello! Welcome to Taskmaster, a show that is as meaningful as an old man sweeping up autumnal leaves, only to have them blown across the garden overnight, and yet five people want to take part. Why?
00:47Ego? A competitive streak? Well, according to a chat I just had in the green room with one of the competitors, it's no more complicated than an unhappy home life.
00:57Let's play on and welcome them!
01:00Anya Magliano!
01:02CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:04Macy Edda!
01:05Phil Edda!
01:07CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:08Rhys Shearsman!
01:10CHEERING AND FENJI BOSCO!
01:16And next to me, a man who once told me that there isn't a single presenter in the ITV daytime schedule that he hasn't thought about when having solo fun time.
01:26LAUGHTER
01:28LAUGHTER
01:30Here's a little Alex Hall!
01:32Oh, yes.
01:33CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
01:38Let's have a look at the prize task.
01:40What an outstanding idea from the opulent orca, and this time they brought in the present that would most make you say this if you received it on your birthday.
01:49Oh, that's just the most gorgeous gift ever.
01:52Greg will give five points for the best one and they will all go home with the episode winner, whether they like it or not. Over to you, Greg.
01:58First, then...
01:59Rhys.
02:01What do you think I think is gorgeous?
02:03I fashioned, from an old doll's house, a haunted house. So, if you want to see what it was when I initially got it off eBay.
02:13And this is what Rhys made.
02:14Wow!
02:15Oh, that is gorgeous.
02:17APPLAUSE
02:18It's gorgeous and opulent.
02:21This is Rhys in action.
02:22So, you actually did do it as well.
02:24Yeah.
02:25Pump... I made the pumpkins.
02:26Yeah.
02:27Put the glass in the windows, broke the windows, curtains...
02:30And also, it lights up. I put lights in it.
02:33Look at that.
02:34Oh! Look at that!
02:35I mean, we're looking at, what, a day's work there?
02:39Two weeks, Greg.
02:41Non-stop, up in the mornings.
02:43Getting up, setting the alarm, going downstairs.
02:46Spraying, painting.
02:47You got up, then set the alarm?
02:49No, no, that was...
02:51..all the way around.
02:5214 days?
02:53Yes!
02:54Wow!
02:55Gorgeous.
02:56It's gorgeous.
02:57What a disappointingly positive start.
02:59Don't worry.
03:00Phil.
03:01It's a picture of Phil with a mare.
03:03There we are.
03:04There we are.
03:05No.
03:10That's not just any mayor.
03:11No.
03:12That's the mayor of Preston.
03:13Ooh!
03:14The big one!
03:15Speaking of big ones, what's that behind him?
03:18Well, it's the biggest bus station in Europe.
03:20Wow.
03:21It's Preston bus.
03:22And I'm wearing a Preston North End shirt,
03:24holding a Preston Guild plate.
03:26Is it a plate?
03:27Yeah.
03:28And I had to find a way to meet the mayor,
03:30and it's a lot easier than you think.
03:32Yeah.
03:33Very good.
03:34Anya?
03:35I wrote a book.
03:37Ooh!
03:38And I wrote a book of all the gossip I've heard in my life.
03:41It's a lovely book.
03:42It's a big book.
03:43It's a gorgeous-looking book.
03:44It's a gorgeous book, and I wrote a title for it as well.
03:49So you genuinely did do this?
03:51Yep.
03:52There's a hundred pages...
03:53Of just malicious chit-chat.
03:56Great, look at this.
03:57Ooh, it's like a serial killer's diary.
03:59That is insane.
04:00Is...
04:01I don't really know what the Magna Carta is.
04:05Is that gossipy?
04:07It's the...
04:08This is the introduction page.
04:10Is gossipy gorgeous?
04:11Yeah.
04:12Not according to the points I've just given you.
04:13LAUGHTER
04:14Maisie?
04:15I've got you, Greg, a ball on the end of a string.
04:16OK.
04:17No, no, no, no, no.
04:18You might be back in the game.
04:19No.
04:20No, no, no, no, no, no.
04:21I did some digging, and I found a chat forum of people
04:23who had encountered Greg Davis throughout their life.
04:25It's very personal, because I found on this chat forum someone
04:27who was taught by you when you were a teacher.
04:28Oh, God.
04:29I had him as a drama teacher for a year.
04:31I don't remember him doing a lot of teaching,
04:33and we mostly pissed around in class.
04:34His warning is, when I first read it,
04:35you know what that meant.
04:36You know how to learn how to learn how to learn how to learn,
04:37where he's at the end of a string.
04:38OK.
04:39No, no, no, no, no, no.
04:40You might be back in the game.
04:41No.
04:42No.
04:43No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
04:44I did some digging, and I found a chat forum
04:46of people who had encountered Greg Davis throughout their life.
04:48It's very personal, because I found on this chat form
04:49someone who, who was taught by you
04:50And we mostly pissed around in class
04:53His warm-up exercise was swinging a ball
04:59That you had to jump over and duck under
05:07The 90s were a different time
05:11Only one left now great. Hello, Sanjeev. Have you bought something gorgeous?
05:14I well something that would make you say this is the most gorgeous thing ever
05:18I kind of made something that was practical
05:23It is a tea towel
05:27But it's this tea towel Greg
05:35Clever clever clever clever clever clever clever clever clever clever clever
05:37He tricked me into saying it's the most gorgeous gift ever let me trick you nobody made you do anything
05:41You've just read that and then you said that out loud you said the thing that was in the task
05:44All right. All right. I'll drop the lawsuit
05:48I
05:50Okay, let's go right. I thought the stones on the outside of the book were truly gorgeous, but then inside. It was just horrible
05:58Spiteful malicious gossip. Okay, one point to Anja one point to Anja got it
06:02Is it gorgeous me being reminded what a terrible teacher?
06:06It was it was nice and fun
06:08No
06:10Two points to Anja
06:12Three points to Sanjeev. I enjoyed the trick, but it wasn't an especially gorgeous item
06:16I don't know why I found Phil standing next to a man gorgeous
06:20Four points and of course
06:22And of course, you know any man who isolates himself for a fortnight
06:26Painting a ghost house gorgeous five dollars
06:28Thank you
06:30Thank you
06:32Let's crack on
06:34Yes, I think we should Greg and just like when I go to a trendy nightclub in any capital city
06:38This one involves everyone trying to get my number
06:40One
06:42Two
06:44Three
06:45Four
06:46Two
06:47Two
06:48Three
06:49Four
06:50Start
06:51You all right?
06:52Yep, I've decided to have a seat
06:54You look a bit pensive worried everything okay?
06:58Yeah, they're pretty accurate
07:00Oh hi
07:01When are you gonna learn?
07:02Keep dragging back in here to do things
07:04Yeah, well I've got to be here
07:06What have you been up to?
07:08It's not that sort of situation
07:10Okay, let's crack on then
07:11Should I go into the task?
07:13Yes
07:14Happy birthday is it?
07:16Is it your birthday?
07:18Well
07:19Ah
07:20Hmm
07:21It is this year
07:22Capricorn?
07:26This?
07:27That's for you?
07:28Yeah?
07:29These are mine
07:3220 beads
07:33Yeah, nice
07:34You know I come from a hinterland of culture which contains many beads
07:37In fact people go there to buy beads
07:40Where are you from?
07:42I was born in West London
07:43Yeah
07:44Yeah
07:45Cool if you wanna open the task?
07:47Yeah
07:48What number has Alex written down?
07:50You may ask no more than 20 questions
07:54Alex may only say yes or no
07:56And you must be increasingly surprised by every answer
08:00Your time starts now and ends when you say the correct number or ask your 20th question
08:07Okay, and you can only answer yes or no?
08:11Yes
08:12Oh
08:13Yes
08:14Oh
08:15Oh
08:16Oh
08:17Oh
08:18Oh
08:20Oh
08:21Oh
08:22Interesting
08:23Very much so
08:24You've gone in pretty surprised early doors there, haven't you?
08:29Yeah
08:30Yeah, I pitched it far too well much, yeah
08:31Oh my god, by the end you're gonna just be screaming, aren't you?
08:35Oh
08:37Great, let's crack on with it
08:39Right, well first to become increasingly surprised whilst guessing my number are Maisie, Reesy and Philly
08:47Is your number between 1 and 10?
08:51No
08:52Hmm
08:53Single digits
08:54No
08:55Hmm
08:56Higher than 50?
08:57Yes
08:58Oh
08:59Is the number by any chance a prime number?
09:02No
09:03Wish I knew what a prime number was
09:06That is a good question
09:08Is your number...
09:10Lower than 50?
09:12Three numbers
09:13Is it between 1 and 100?
09:14No
09:15No
09:16Oh
09:18Is your number, er...
09:2063?
09:21No
09:22Are you kidding?
09:23It's not under 100?
09:24No
09:25Is it over 100?
09:26Yes
09:27If you were playing for this number in pounds, would it be higher than the £64,000 question on who wants to be a millionaire?
09:42Yes
09:43Yes
09:44Yes
09:45I've lost track of where the numbers are
09:47I know
09:48I've lost track of the numbers it is and isn't beginning with
09:51I know
09:52I've wasted so many questions, haven't I?
09:54Yes
09:55I don't think I care what the number is
09:57That's the tricky thing, you know
09:59Hmm
10:00Is your number on the end of that telephone?
10:05No
10:06Right
10:07Right
10:08I'm just going to take this call
10:13Hello Lil Wayne, Maisie speaking
10:15360
10:17BUZZER
10:18BUZZER
10:19BUZZER
10:20BUZZER
10:22Is your number 360?
10:24No
10:26That's insane!
10:28Is the number in this room?
10:31Yes, I've written it down
10:32Yes, I've written it down
10:33I could just find the number, couldn't I?
10:35Yes
10:36Right
10:37Come on, Mac
10:38Try not to ask me any more questions, I would say
10:40Why's that?
10:41Oh
10:42Did you remember, um...
10:45What do you know about my number at this stage, Rhys?
10:47It's higher than 50
10:48BUZZER
10:49I think you're 11 questions
10:50Wait a minute, what the fuck's this?
10:54Is the number you've written down the answer to this?
10:58Yes
11:00Well, don't we have a conundrum?
11:03Is that a question?
11:05Has your number got a one in it?
11:07Yes
11:08No
11:09Is the one in the number, your number, at the beginning of the number?
11:12Yes
11:13No, we're getting somewhere
11:14Is the second number, a number between one and ten?
11:18No
11:19Is your number, a second number, a zero?
11:21Yes, but you've only got one question left
11:23Right, okay
11:24Is your number...
11:25This is the final question
11:26Right, yes, of course, I know
11:31Is your number ten?
11:37No
11:38The answer is 8,500
11:41Okay
11:42Is your number three?
11:43But that's...
11:44And that's...
11:45I'm fine with that, honestly
11:46Yes, three?
11:47Yeah
11:48No, right
11:49See ya
11:50See ya
11:51Have a nice day
11:56One of your questions, I'm just interested in your thinking here, was
12:00Is the number above 64,000?
12:03Yeah
12:04Well, I knew that it was a big net, right?
12:07So I was like, it's somewhere between one and a million
12:09What else is between one and a million?
12:11The prizes on who wants to be a millionaire
12:13What's around halfway?
12:1564,000
12:16Yeah
12:17I did say halfway to a million
12:19Yeah
12:20No, no, fuck off
12:21Halfway through the process of the show is around 64,000 when you...
12:30Yeah, but I said yes, it's over that and your final answer was three
12:33Do you think this is going to be your angry episode?
12:37Yeah, I do
12:38Do you think you'll come up with a decent task?
12:40And I think you were the only one who got more surprised every time
12:45I know
12:46I'm glad you noticed that, Mr Taskmaster
12:48Phil, I don't think you showed any expression of surprise throughout
12:53And largely...
12:54I cannot believe!
12:56LAUGHTER
12:57Well, you taught drama by him
12:59LAUGHTER
13:06We're going to nip off for a break now
13:08But not before Alex has tried out his new joke
13:10Oh, great
13:11OK, thank you, Greg
13:12Pan-Asian?
13:13I just call it a wok
13:19Wok's the time
13:20It's time for a break
13:21APPLAUSE
13:23Well, hello!
13:35Thank you
13:36Welcome back to part two of Taskmaster
13:38Where we are in the thick of a numerical task
13:41Yes, they're trying to work out what number I've written down
13:44They have 20 questions and must be increasingly surprised by every answer
13:48Without giving too much away, Maisie, Rhys and Phil were awful
13:51Now, let's see if Anya and Sanjeev can do any better
13:56I'm going to be very strict about what is the question
13:59OK
14:00Well, the question is one that goes up the end, doesn't it?
14:03Yeah
14:04Er...
14:05There's one
14:06Excellent
14:07Is the number somewhere I can see in this room?
14:11No
14:12Have you looked?
14:14Was that a have you looked?
14:17That was a question, yeah
14:18Yes
14:19But you asked me a question then, so maybe I get one back
14:24No
14:28Where are you taking them?
14:29Oh no, that was a question
14:31Is the number you've written down between zero and a hundred?
14:35A hundred and a thousand between a thousand and ten thousand?
14:38No, no, no
14:39No
14:40OK
14:42There's a phone!
14:45Will Wade
14:46He's always calling
14:50Is the number that you've written down a telephone number?
14:53No
14:54Then that is even more stupid, that ringing, than I first thought it was
14:58OK
14:59Hello
15:00One hundred and twenty
15:02Have you actually written down a number?
15:04Yes
15:05I need you to be more surprised
15:07Fucking hell
15:09I am losing the world to live here
15:11Is the number one twenty?
15:13No
15:14No
15:15Have you written down the number in this room?
15:17Yes
15:19Right
15:23Does the number have emotional significance to you?
15:26Yes
15:28Is the number your birthday?
15:30Yes
15:40Mum?
15:41No, that's my wife
15:42Let me don't hang up
15:44I don't call her mum
15:45But my children do
15:46I don't want to know what goes on in that relationship
15:53I'm going to ask your wife for some details about you
15:58You're telling me, nor asking me
15:59I'm telling you
16:00OK
16:01It's got a full stop at the end
16:02Hello
16:03Hi, this isn't Alex
16:05Can I ask you a question?
16:06I've managed to get hold of his phone
16:07That's a question
16:08I've got a mallet, I could just smash through this
16:11You don't need a mallet for this task
16:13Yes, of course
16:14When's his birthday?
16:16His birthday
16:20His birthday
16:21I always get this wrong
16:25It's the 10th of September, 78
16:29Is the answer 100978
16:31Is the number 100978?
16:33Yes
16:36Thank you, Sanjeev
16:37Thank you very much
16:42Sanjeev did pretty well, though
16:44Pretty forensic in his hunt for the numbers
16:46Yeah
16:47And then we saw a crack in his calmness
16:48When he threatened to take a lump hammer to the wall
16:51But pretty good, I thought
16:53Yeah
16:54Working out that it was written somewhere in the room
16:55You can always find out
16:56I mean, it was just in my pocket
16:57You could have got that at any point
16:58Were you as surprised as me
16:59That Alex's own wife doesn't know his birthday?
17:03It really felt like I'd got a key to the task
17:05And then it became something quite sad about their marriage
17:10Yeah, aren't they?
17:11It was an accidental key to the task
17:12She rang to check I'd had my sandwiches
17:14And you seized on the opportunity
17:17Isn't mum kind?
17:21I sense Anya was fast, though
17:23I could be wrong
17:24They were the only two that got it right
17:25Sanjeev, you got it in 9 minutes 43
17:28Good
17:29Anya, 9 minutes 40
17:31Oh!
17:32Yeah, genuinely
17:34So, yeah
17:35Anya gets the five points
17:39The other three didn't get it right
17:40But I guess they get points for how close they got
17:42Built in within this task was that stupid phone ringing in the theme
17:46And then there was a real one that happened
17:48And it gave her an advantage
17:51Her?
17:52Her?
17:53I'm not going to factor in the luck afforded that to anyone who heard the mum called
18:01Well, now we have clarity
18:04You're welcome
18:07So we're saying that Anya gets the five points for being the quickest and getting the right number
18:09Correct
18:10Sanjeev gets four
18:11Correct
18:12And are the other three getting according to how close they were to the number?
18:15Yes, they did according to how close they were to the number
18:16Phil, you get three points
18:17You were...
18:18And can I say, Phil, you do not deserve them
18:21Two points
18:22And Maisie, you were just 100,975 away
18:25You get one point
18:27But the winner is Anya Magriano
18:29APPLAUSE
18:34Well, pull my shorts down and smack my bottom
18:38What's next?
18:40What's next, little Alex?
18:42Well, Greg, we're mixing it up now in an alternative teams task
18:46And this one's got a whole lot of heart
18:49Ooh
19:03Hello
19:04Hi
19:05Hey
19:06Hey
19:07Hmm
19:11Nice shoes
19:17Too close to you?
19:18Oh
19:23Hello
19:24You all right?
19:25Mm-hmm
19:26What's that?
19:27Chicken soup
19:32Thank you
19:33Pleasure
19:34Oh, it's a heart
19:35Hmm
19:36Is this a romantic task?
19:38Make a love heart
19:40Using your body
19:42The body of your teammates
19:45The body of your teammates
19:46And any other items of your choosing
19:49The body of my teammate?
19:50Mm-hmm
19:51You must make up half of the heart
19:53You must make up half of the heart
19:54Your teammate has made up the other half
19:55You have ten minutes to make your half
19:57During which you also have one chance to record a ten second voice note with instructions for your teammate
20:03You must make up a third of the heart
20:04You must make up a third of the heart
20:05Your teammates will make up the other two thirds
20:08Who's the teammates?
20:10One of your teammates
20:11What?
20:12Has made up the first third and has provided you with instructions
20:16Oh
20:17Your teammates have made up the other two thirds
20:20And one has provided you with instructions
20:23The most affecting heart wins
20:25Yeah
20:26An affecting heart
20:27What it's got to beat
20:28Yeah
20:29It's got to move Greg the taskmaster
20:30Emotionally
20:31Oh, yeah
20:32Right
20:33Is he a romantic?
20:34So I'm going to be half of the love heart
20:37With your teammate
20:38APPLAUSE
20:39So I suppose the obvious question is
20:45Why were you eating chicken soup?
20:48I like it, you know when you see a task and someone comes in drinking a cup of tea
20:52Because they're just dead cash and the like
20:54Yeah, yeah
20:55I thought I'd up that
20:56Yeah, it's not quite as acceptable as it to come and eat a bowl of soup
20:59I mean, seeing it on the big screen now, I realise my mistake yet
21:04So these aren't their standard team members as you'll see
21:07We're mixing it up
21:08We're mixing it up
21:09Let's get some romance on the go
21:11OK, well, let's see how normally mortal enemies, Anya and Rhys, work together as a team
21:20I have my supplies
21:25I'm going to be the top
21:26Like this
21:28But then, to make it affecting, it will say mum in it
21:33Hmm
21:34Like when you have a tattoo of mum
21:35And I'm going to pulse
21:37I'm going to be beating
21:39You're going to get across this information in ten seconds
21:41Yep
21:42I'm a really accomplished voice noter
21:44I usually do them in like seven minutes
21:47Oh, the voice note isn't ten minutes, the voice notes
21:49Ten seconds
21:51OK
21:52I'm going to do it in order of importance of what they need to know
21:56We're doing the heart from above
21:57I'm the left side, it's pink
21:58It's got mum written on it
21:59But I've done M and half of the U
22:01My body is the top
22:02The side is the umbrellas
22:03It's pulsing
22:04It's filled with pink fabric
22:05But you have to pulse to make it
22:06Why is she gabbling?
22:08Is she at gunpoint?
22:10Play it again
22:11I think that what I've done is incredible
22:15The side is the umbrellas
22:16It's pulsing
22:17It's filled with pink fabric
22:18But you have to pulse to make it
22:19The side is the umbrellas
22:21The side is the umbrellas
22:23I need to go again and just hear about the umbrella
22:25My body is the top
22:26The side is the umbrellas
22:27Again?
22:28Yeah, I need to because that was an absolute gobbledygook gobble
22:31My body is the top
22:32The side is the umbrellas
22:34Go again with the umbrella
22:36If they get it wrong, it's like that's on them completely
22:39Okay, so she said she is the left side
22:42I think she's doing this
22:43Something about mum written in it
22:45And full of pink
22:50Right?
22:51Right
22:52She's left hand side
22:53Right
22:54Right, okay
22:55And now I'm going to be right hand side
22:56Yeah
22:57Four and a half minutes
22:58Oh no!
22:59I'm going to spell
23:01Um
23:02The other half of mum
23:03With flowers
23:04Get rid of that
23:06Sorry
23:10There's a creature on me
23:12Give me the M of that
23:13Please
23:17What I've got to do now is fashion a U
23:19Half of the U
23:21I love you mum
23:25Thank you, Rhys
23:26I thought it was quite good that
23:29I mean, from what I've seen so far
23:34You're an incredible team
23:35I thought, to be honest
23:36Yeah
23:37It does feel like an exercise
23:38That you'd make a couple that's about to break up do
23:40To try and save their marriage
23:42Yeah, and it looks like you guys are going to last
23:45Often a clip gets thrown up
23:47That we can use out of context throughout a series
23:49Right
23:50And I think probably this is
23:51Yeah, the brave boy dealing with a little bug
23:53Yeah
23:56There's a creature on me
23:57There's a creature on me
23:59No one comes running in to help, though, does it?
24:01One of those things is going to keep being funny as well
24:03Yeah
24:04Show it again, no?
24:05Show it again, yeah
24:06Still get a laugh, watch
24:08There's a creature on me
24:12OK, we're halfway through the show
24:13And as Alex's wife slash mum said to me
24:16When she discovered his subscription to Greedy Butter Babes
24:20It's time for a break
24:32Hello!
24:34Welcome!
24:36It's the start of part three
24:38Where we've mixed up the team to create two patchwork hearts
24:41Oh, just a bit
24:42Yes, they're using their bodies to create the most affecting heart
24:46Following instructions from their team members via a voice note
24:49Now for the other team, it's Maisie, it's Phil and Sanjeev
24:53OK, we need to do it on the floor
24:56I think one third is the round bit here
25:00Second third, which I can instruct someone to do, is the other bit
25:04I'll do the point and I will compliment Greg's top half
25:08Then the next person must compliment his, like, torso
25:12And then the last person, compliment his lovely legs
25:15In a not objectifying way
25:16You know, like, those legs are great for swimming
25:19So, I'll go, I'll be the point
25:22There, look
25:23Oh, I'll also let them know I'm wearing black
25:25Then we can all be the same colour
25:27Right, Alex, I'm ready for my voice note
25:29I'm not going to look at you because you will put me off, no offence
25:32Here we go
25:34Bump to the floor
25:36I'm the point of the heart
25:37One of you needs to be the left side, the round side
25:39One of you needs to be the right round side
25:41Wear black and pay a compliment to Greg
25:44Genuinely, chicken soup is really good
25:47I can't recommend it enough
25:49I don't want to tempt fate, but there's no way they can cock that up
25:55Found some black stuff
25:57How long have I got Alex?
25:59Seven minutes
26:00Seems like too long, doesn't it?
26:02OK, now where would Maisie point?
26:05I reckon she's gone point like that
26:08How long have I got?
26:10One and a half minutes
26:12Do I have to stay in this position?
26:13Yes, ready?
26:15I'm going to play you some instructions from one of your two teammates
26:20OK, fingers crossed
26:22Hey, May, um, Maisie's the point of the heart
26:25With a bum to the floor, there's a V shape
26:27I'm the left hand curve of the heart, you need to be the right hand
26:31Can I hear it again?
26:33Yes, please
26:35Hey, May, um, Maisie's the point of the heart
26:38So if she was doing a V shape, she might be doing that
26:41As the bottom of the heart
26:42He was the left hand, so I'd be the right
26:46Here
26:48It's
26:50That
26:52There you go
26:54OK
26:56You think you obeyed the instructions?
26:58Uh, hi, May, uh, yeah, I think I did, but I might have just got...
27:03Lovely work
27:05I mean, Maisie and Sanjeev were incredibly effective heart makers
27:17Straight to the point, clear instructions
27:20And then there's Phil
27:22I looked like a reverse stripper, didn't I?
27:24Came in and just got dressed
27:26You've certainly upset the two incredibly efficient parts of the heart
27:30But maybe it won't matter, maybe the heart will still be a thing of beauty
27:33Can I, um, see the team of two first?
27:36Why not? Let's save the team of three
27:38Here is Anya and Rhys' heart
27:40And remember, the sad is the umbrella
27:42Here we go
27:44Oh, that's good
27:46That's pretty good!
27:48Oh!
27:50On the ball set!
27:52Yeah, morning, Brent!
27:56I think it's very good
27:58It's a very lovely tribute to someone's mother
28:01And it was animated
28:03I mean, I've got nothing negative to say
28:06I think it's really brought us back together
28:08Absolutely, yeah
28:10We're all right now, aren't we?
28:11Yeah
28:12Let's have a look at the other half
28:13Okay, the team of three, harder with three people, arguably
28:15This is what they came up with
28:17Greg has a lovely beard that is complemented by his glasses
28:23Always been a big fan, Greg
28:24I never used to like people taller than me
28:28But you're the first person that I could genuinely have to look after my children
28:33Of which I have none
28:35LAUGHTER
28:40LAUGHTER
28:42There we go
28:44Sorry, there seems to be something wrong with the tape there
28:47I wasn't told to make your compliment
28:50LAUGHTER
28:52I mean, if you just look at Maisie and Sanjeev and that heart, it is perfect
28:56Look at Sanjeev
28:57What a curve
28:58What a curve
29:00He looks the most peaceful I've ever seen
29:03It looks like you're trying to post a letter in my arse
29:07LAUGHTER
29:09The letter starts with, hey mate
29:11LAUGHTER
29:13APPLAUSE
29:21Five points to the mum heart
29:22Congratulations
29:23Say that now
29:24Congratulations on the other half
29:26Let's have a look at the other heart
29:28It's impressive in a way
29:29I'll give them three points
29:30They deserve three
29:31OK, three points and five points
29:35One more please
29:36Yes please
29:37And giddy up
29:38Or hold on to your horses
29:39And that is because
29:40We're off to our horse-based location
29:41For a horse-based task
29:42And I'm not even jockeying
29:44LAUGHTER
29:45MUSIC PLAYS
30:02Hi Alex Horne, this is exciting
30:04It's the viewing deck
30:06Is that a trot?
30:07Or a gallop?
30:09That was sprint
30:10That was 100 miles per hour
30:12OK
30:13Interesting
30:15Strange
30:16Darts
30:17Hedgehog darts
30:18Mm-hmm
30:20Binoculars if you need them
30:22I buried a hedgehog once
30:24Why?
30:25Well I found it dead in the road
30:26And I thought I'll give it a dignified funeral
30:31Win the horse race
30:33Win the horse race
30:35Have you spotted your horse?
30:36Yes
30:37Oh, has he got my faith?
30:38Oh God!
30:39Oh my God, that's terrifying
30:40You must do one of the following things
30:53Eat something without looking at the food
30:55Spin the wheel at least 720 degrees
30:57Twice
31:01Throw a dart at the dart board
31:04That one there
31:06If you eat an olive, your horse will advance two steps
31:09If you eat a grape, your horse will retreat three steps
31:14I've never eaten an olive in my life
31:18This is going to be a nightmare
31:20If you throw a dart in an olive, your horse will advance five steps
31:25If you throw a dart in a grape, your horse will retreat eight steps
31:29If the wheel lands on an olive, your horse will advance ten steps
31:37You couldn't have done it with chips
31:40If the wheel lands on a grape, your horse will retreat 15 steps
31:44You must stay on the spot and you must not move the spot
31:49First horse past the post wins
31:52You have a maximum of 30 minutes, your time starts on the whistle
31:56You're riding a horse, what is your horse called?
31:58Dr. Magic
32:01Called Mashing Niblick
32:02Mashing Niblick
32:03Yeah, it's a golf term
32:05Old Pip
32:07George Clooney
32:09Okay, so you're riding George Clooney today
32:10The Envy of Many
32:12What do they write on the door in The Shining?
32:15It's Mashing Niblick on the left-hand side, followed by Red Rump
32:19That's what they do in horse racing, isn't it?
32:21Red Rune
32:22Your horse is called Red Rune, okay
32:24I'm still sort of dumbstruck by the mask of me
32:29I can't stand it, it looks like some sort of...
32:31It's like Hannibal...
32:32Oh, Christ
32:34Starts with orders
32:43Do you think the impact in the film The Shining...
32:46Oh, for God's sake
32:48Do you think it would have lost some of its impact if they'd gone,
32:51Ooh, murder
32:55I will walk out
32:59Anyway, back to horses
33:00Yeah
33:01Can't wait to see these jockeys in action
33:02Yes, they control the horses
33:03Olives good, grapes bad
33:05The first jockeys to the starting stalls are Sanjeev, Maisie and Rhys
33:09With their horses George Clooney, Red Room and Mashing Niblick
33:13Do you know, I don't think I've ever concentrated on the feel of an olive
33:16Well, now's your chance
33:17Oh, you think you can tell olives from grapes
33:21Okay
33:22It's an olive
33:24George Clooney, you may advance two steps
33:29Right in a grape
33:30Oh
33:33Come on, Red Rune
33:35That's an olive
33:36That's an olive
33:37You hit an olive
33:40Yes!
33:41That's an olive, the horse will advance
33:42Congratulations
33:44What's the next time?
33:49Ooh, which one, was it that one?
33:50Yep
33:51It's a granite
33:55With a grape
33:56Yeah
33:57It's a granite
33:58It's a granite
33:59Great
34:01That's ridiculous
34:06That's an olive all day long
34:09Okay
34:14Olive, forwards ten
34:15Oh no, because that's sorry
34:17But that's good for you
34:18Great
34:27Oh, they're sprinting now
34:30Feeling a bit sick
34:32That's a fucking olive
34:33Well done Maisie
34:34That's not worth two steps
34:38Oh
34:39The horse will advance ten steps
34:40You're gonna will it to be an olive
34:42It is
34:43He has crossed the finish line
34:45Come on, George
34:46Well done, Red Rune
34:47And Mashing Niblick
34:48Has crossed the finish line
34:49Expressionless
34:50Dead-eyed
34:53Why would you ever have that before your meal?
34:56It's minging
34:58Oh?
35:00Oh, gross
35:02No, no
35:04No
35:06I don't like to be regionally prejudiced
35:08But
35:10You hate olives as well
35:11Yeah, I'd had one before
35:13Oh
35:14The hell is going on?
35:15What's going on?
35:16I would also point out, yes
35:17Anya just asked
35:18Did you know there was a camera in the bin?
35:19And I don't
35:20I think I would have made more of an effort not to drool into the bin
35:22Yeah
35:24Okay
35:25We're stopping once again
35:26In the final part of the show
35:27We'll witness our very own Taskmaster Derby
35:30Plus, someone will take home a tea towel
35:33And a ball attached to some string
35:35So highs, lows
35:37Highs, real lows
35:38Highs, real lows
35:48Hello
35:49And welcome back to the final part of the show
35:51And our own Grand National of sorts at Sandown Racecourse
35:56Yes, but before the race
35:57We need to see how Anya and Phil did at progressing their horses
36:01Dr Magic and Old Pip towards the post
36:05Let's have a look
36:07I don't know how to play this game because I'm not an old man
36:11Start first
36:12Think olive
36:13That's a grape
36:14Oh, come on, Old Pip
36:15I didn't know horses could go backwards
36:20Miss
36:23Shall I try this?
36:24Do I have to eat the whole olive?
36:26They're not in here
36:30They look rank, don't they?
36:31What is that for?
36:33Grape
36:34Oh, they're salty
36:36It's a salty grape, yeah
36:38Oh, my God
36:39Oh, my God
36:40This is my Everest
36:43Old Pip, you can advance two steps
36:44Two
36:45Come on, mate
36:50Olive
36:51Grape
36:52Are you kidding me?
36:5315 steps
36:5415?
36:55When's that happened?
36:56Come on, Old Pip
36:58Dr Magic
37:00She's gonna be in a different country soon
37:04Stop
37:05Fuck
37:07This is rigged
37:08Is this rigged?
37:09Olive
37:10Grape
37:11Arrgh
37:12Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on
37:14Oh, come on
37:1615 is insane
37:21Can I change these?
37:22Can I just take these off?
37:23That would make more sense, wouldn't it?
37:25Well, fingers crossed
37:29Hey
37:31Come on, boy
37:32I've got a new idea
37:33I think it was about to land on an olive
37:35Ready?
37:36Uh-huh
37:38Please advance ten steps
37:47Let's just pull that short
37:48What's it landed on?
37:49Olive
37:50Please advance ten steps
37:52That's an olive
37:53Come on, boy
37:54Advance ten steps
37:55Yes
37:56Five
37:57Four
37:58Three
37:59Two
38:00One
38:01Five
38:02Five
38:03Four
38:04Three
38:05Two
38:06One
38:07We've finished the race
38:08Blast off
38:09Let me get him
38:11Yeah, baby
38:12He's a good boy
38:13Yes
38:14He's a good boy
38:15Yes
38:16He's a good boy
38:17Yes
38:18He's a good boy
38:19Yes
38:20He's a good boy
38:21Yes
38:22Was he gorgeous
38:23Yes
38:24What a victory
38:25Come on, let's get you to the glue factory
38:31So nice to see a man running excitedly to hug a member of production crew
38:35You know, they played a blinder, didn't they?
38:38Well, was it too little too late?
38:39They did get very unlucky with the spinning wheel
38:41There were more olives and grapes, but we're going to see them all race as one, Greg, and we can see who wins
38:45Ready?
38:46Oh, my God, I genuinely don't know
38:47Yeah
38:48OK, they're under starter orders, but Phil and Maisie's starter orders are definitely not olives
38:52It's a little joke, let's get down to the track
38:54Good luck, everyone
39:01Ah
39:02Come on, George
39:03Come on, Red Room
39:04Get up
39:05Come on, George
39:06Giddy up
39:07Giddy up, come on
39:08Good old George
39:09Yes
39:10Right, here we go
39:11Mashiniblick
39:12Dr. Magic
39:13Blast off
39:14Is Mashiniblick on the air down side pole?
39:17Come on, old Pip, you bastard
39:19Oh, no
39:20Come on, old Pip
39:21Come on, old Pip
39:22Oh, God
39:23I must have won
39:25And the tragedy is, it was only old Pip that had to be put down
39:37Yeah, Sanjeev won 3 minutes 56, just six seconds quicker than Maisie's Red Room
39:42Phil took as long to eat one olive as Sanjeev did
39:46Never again
39:47Never again
39:48So, yeah, five to Sanjeev, four to Maisie, three to Anya, two to Phil and one point to Rhys Shearsmith
39:53Well done indeed
39:54There it is
39:57Can we have one more look at the scores then?
39:59It's tight, Greg, it's the tightest episode so far, there are just four points between the top four
40:03At the top of the pile, it's Sanjeev with 15 points
40:06Amazing
40:10OK, everyone, make your way to the stage, please
40:12Why? I'll tell you why
40:13The final task of the show!
40:20Hello, my tender friends
40:22Who will be reading the task?
40:24I think Anya should read it
40:25Anya?
40:26Yes
40:27OK
40:28What?
40:31This one's mad
40:34Fill out your form
40:36Ugh
40:37Fill out your form?
40:38Yep, they've got big forms in front of them
40:40There are ten flaps on your form
40:42Open the flap
40:43Fill in the form
40:44Start
40:52They've done it
40:53Give Greg a nice big smile
40:54They've completed the form
40:55Thank you
40:57OK
41:00I would now ask you to display your forms and stand beside them
41:03There's a little flap on the back of the desk
41:05And then Anya's going to read part two of the task
41:07Oh!
41:09Oh no
41:10Either convince the taskmaster that you have written something other than what you have written
41:15Or exactly what you have written
41:17If you fail to deceive the taskmaster, you are eliminated
41:22Last person standing wins
41:25So, Greg's going to call out one at a time
41:27A number and a category
41:28OK
41:29So you have to either say what you've written
41:31Or something you haven't written
41:32If he gets it right, you're out
41:34He'll start with you, Anya
41:35Number three in the category is
41:37A motorway
41:38Ooh, which motorway did you write, Anya?
41:40I wrote the M40
41:42Hmm
41:43You did not
41:44Let's see what you've written, Anya
41:47She
41:48Oh!
41:49A40
41:50That's...
41:51That is what I meant
41:52Did you...
41:53She meant the M40 clearly
41:54Oh
41:55The A40...
41:56The A40 becomes the M40, you're fine
41:57You've survived
41:58Right
41:59APPLAUSE
42:00OK, Maisie, I would like you to do number four
42:06Best kitchen appliance
42:08I put a kettle
42:10Have you?
42:11She did put a kettle
42:18Did you put a kettle?
42:19Yes
42:20Kettle, yeah
42:21Maisie, please sit down and take your form with you
42:24Thank you
42:25Oh my God!
42:26Thank you
42:28Alright, Maisie's out in round one
42:30OK, on we go
42:32Now I'm terrified
42:33Phil, number seven
42:34Oh
42:35Something quite big
42:36Tell me what you've written and I'll tell you whether you're telling me the truth or not
42:39I've written
42:40You know
42:41LAUGHTER
42:43What have you written?
42:45I've written
42:46You know
42:47You've just written the words you know
42:49Yeah, like something quite big and I've gone
42:51You say
42:52In your end
42:53He means his cock
42:54And I've gone
42:55LAUGHTER
42:56OK
42:57I think
42:58You know
42:59I think that's true, he has written that
43:01Oh, fuck
43:02Number seven, Phil, what have you written?
43:03Number seven
43:04Oh, fuck
43:05LAUGHTER
43:06Good answer
43:07Good answer
43:08Good answer
43:09APPLAUSE
43:10Thank you
43:13Rhys, I would like you to read out number five, which is a new band name
43:20I said Style Lemon
43:22LAUGHTER
43:24LAUGHTER
43:25LAUGHTER
43:26LAUGHTER
43:27LAUGHTER
43:28I don't think Rhys did put Style Lemon
43:30Rhys?
43:31Show us what you write
43:32Style Bomb
43:33Oh!
43:34Rhys, you have to sit down
43:35You're angry
43:36No, it's fucking disgrace
43:37LAUGHTER
43:38Please take your form with you
43:39Right, well, there's only two left
43:40Let's have number ten
43:41A quite scary animal
43:43Leopard
43:45I think he's double bluffing me with the doubt in his voice
43:58I think you did write Leopard
44:04We have a winner!
44:06CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:08That's not right
44:09Come down and join me!
44:19Well, well, well
44:20Yeah, it was shorter than I expected
44:22Not as high-octane as we imagine
44:24No
44:25You were very good at not being deceived, Craig
44:27Oh, thank you
44:28Oh
44:29Only one person deceived you
44:30So the full five points goes to Anya
44:32CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:34However
44:36In joint second with everyone else
44:38So they all get four points
44:39Lovely
44:40Four, four, four, four
44:45OK, so, final scoreboard
44:46It's interesting
44:47There's not one winner
44:48There's two winners
44:49There's joint winners
44:50With 19 points
44:51Anya and Sanjee
44:52CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
44:57Oh, no!
44:58We've got a tie!
44:59We do
45:00So we need a tie break
45:01And this one is fun
45:02And made them look really cool
45:03Because they had to remove their shower cap
45:06By inflating a balloon
45:07Fastest winds
45:08Here's how they both got on
45:12I don't mind that everyone's laughing at me
45:16WHISTLE BLOWS
45:18It's off
45:19Yeah, it's off
45:20APPLAUSE
45:21Yeah, it's off
45:33APPLAUSE
45:34Oh, God, it's...
45:35It's neck and neck
45:36Yeah, it is
45:37Yeah
45:38The winner is Anya Magliano!
45:39CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:40And your wings!
45:41Please go up and gather up
45:42All of your gorgeous gear!
45:43CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
45:44So, what have we learnt today?
45:45Well, we've learnt that no matter what happens, no matter who it ha...
45:49BUZZLE BLOWS
45:50So, what have we learnt today?
45:51Well, we've learnt that no matter what happens, no matter who it ha...
46:05BUZZLE BLOWS
46:06BUZZLE BLOWS
46:07BUZZLE BLOWS
46:08BUZZLE BLOWS
46:09So sorry
46:10BUZZLE BLOWS
46:11Hello?
46:12Yeah, yeah
46:13Oh...
46:14Oh, yeah, yeah
46:16Oh, Duffo
46:17Absolutely, yeah
46:18Later, though
46:19I'm at work
46:20I told you
46:21You can't make me at work
46:23BUZZLE BLOWS
46:26Alex's mum
46:27APPLAUSE
46:29But more importantly, let's celebrate our winner!
46:41It's Anya!
46:42CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
46:44APPLAUSE
46:45You are a great winner!
46:46Yeah!
46:47I'm happy to have you ever vaccinated!
46:48Well done!
46:49I'm happy to have you ever schaut up!
46:50Thank you!
46:51Thank you, darling, thank you!
46:52Thank you!
46:53Thank you, dear!
46:54That's so sweet!
46:55Your favourite jersey!
46:56We've seen...
46:57You drawn a song!
46:58I will!
46:59This is my favourite tennis!
47:00With the instruments...
47:01You are a favourite!
47:02We've seen...
47:03We will try...
47:04We will try to have a lucky star...
47:05We will try to...
47:06We'll try to have a key star...
47:08We'll try to have a key star!
47:10We will try to...
47:11We'll try...
47:12We'll try...
47:13you
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