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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert - Season 11 Episode 16 -
Jimmy Kimmel, Sam Smith
Jimmy Kimmel, Sam Smith
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00:01Top commanders from all over the world heard from the president and defense secretary, Pete Hegseth.
00:06No more beards and railing against fat generals.
00:10It's completely unacceptable to see fat generals and admirals in the halls of the Pentagon.
00:14The era of unprofessional appearance is over.
00:18No more beardos.
00:20The Trump administration is reshaping the military.
00:24No fear, no surrender, no fatties.
00:28Sure, you're willing to die for your country, but are you willing to diet for your country?
00:34Beardos need not apply.
00:36We only want hot whipped bodies straight off the meat rack, shaved from eyebrows to toes, smooth as a dolphin and oiled up.
00:44We're talking Eel Team 6, the new military.
00:48Brought to you by the warrior ethos.
00:50Just hairless slabs of hot beef who will kick your ass.
00:56It's the election!
00:58It's Stephen Colbert!
01:02Tonight, shut down for what?
01:05Plus, Stephen welcomes Jimmy Killoy and Sam Smith.
01:14Featured Louie Kata and the Late Show Band.
01:18And now, live on tape from the Ed Sullivan Theater in New York City, it's Stephen Colbert!
01:32Welcome.
01:34Welcome.
01:34Welcome, one and all, to the Late Show.
01:38Welcome, one and all, to the Late Show.
01:53I'm your host, Stephen Colbert.
01:54Ladies and gentlemen.
01:58Folks, you know this.
01:59Yeah.
01:59I'm sure you know this.
02:01With Donald Trump as president, there are days that make you go, whoa.
02:06And there are days that make you go, oh, my God.
02:09Today was one of those days.
02:10Yeah.
02:11In fact, the lighthearted story to start our monologue tonight is that it looks like the
02:21federal government, which is entirely controlled by the Republican Party, is going to shut down
02:25in about 20 minutes.
02:27Anything?
02:28Anything?
02:29Anything?
02:30Let me know.
02:31Let me know if anything changes, okay?
02:33If so, it will cut a lot of important services and put a lot of people out of work.
02:37But not everyone.
02:38Air traffic controllers and most TSA employees are considered essential workers and have to
02:44stay on the job, even if that means working without pay.
02:48Which, of course, which is perfect for anyone who's ever said, I just wish this TSA worker
02:55groping my drunk was also angry.
03:02Like plucking an orange.
03:08Now, the darker story this evening involves Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth.
03:15Today, Hegseth gathered our top generals.
03:18That was a little late.
03:24Today, he gathered our top generals down to Quantico for an unusual speech.
03:29Here's how one military analyst described it.
03:35Here's what happened.
03:38I like the new uniforms.
03:39Here's what happened.
03:41Last Thursday, Hegseth called hundreds of generals and admirals from all over the world,
03:45from their very important jobs, in for a meeting in Virginia.
03:49The event was livestreamed, but Hegseth was dead set on getting everyone in the same room.
03:54According to one source, it's meant to be an eyeball-to-eyeball kind of conversation.
03:59He wants to see the generals.
04:01Okay, that's it.
04:02The male loneliness epidemic has gone too far.
04:06Join a bowling league, for Pete's sake.
04:10Once the meeting started, Hegseth emphasized that our leaders needed a hyper-serious,
04:15no-nonsense approach to war-fightin'.
04:17Take a look.
04:19It's a good thing.
04:20I'm not doing this.
04:21I'm sorry.
04:22I'm sorry, was that the wrong tape?
04:27Is that the wrong tape?
04:29My fault.
04:30I'm sorry, we had the wrong tape.
04:31That's actually Hegseth slamming his nards with a skateboard when he hosted a weekend morning
04:38show this year.
04:41Still, still more dignified than what he did today, because in the actual speech, Hegseth
04:47went five-star douche, and at one point pegged the camera with what he was sure was going
04:53to be an applause line.
04:54Should our enemies choose foolishly to challenge us, they will be crushed by the violence, precision,
05:03and ferocity of the War Department.
05:07In other words, to our enemies, F-A-F-O.
05:15Oh.
05:16Oh, no.
05:21I know that feeling.
05:23I've been there.
05:24I can commit.
05:25When you think it's going to land, that quiet crowd really hurts.
05:29And it happens to a lot of people.
05:31It reminds me of when Queen played Wembley.
05:34Hey-oh.
05:35Hey-oh.
05:36Hey-oh.
05:37Hey-oh.
05:38Hey-oh.
05:39Hey-oh.
05:40Hey-oh.
05:41Hey-oh.
05:42Hey-oh.
05:43Hey-oh.
05:44Hey-oh.
05:47Hegseth went all in on what he calls his warrior ethos.
05:52Today is another liberation day.
05:54The liberation of America's warriors in name, in deed, and in authorities.
06:00You kill people and break things for a living.
06:03I'll say it.
06:04The Democrats have got to turn down the temperature on their violent rhetoric.
06:10Now, I know.
06:12I know.
06:15Hey-oh.
06:16Hey-oh.
06:17Hey-oh.
06:18Hey-oh.
06:19Hey-oh.
06:20Hey-oh.
06:21Hey-oh.
06:22Hey-oh.
06:23Yeah.
06:25Good job.
06:26You guys are great.
06:30Uh, SecDef Hegseth gathered our most important generals for a good reason, and one day, we'll
06:39find out what that was.
06:41Cuz, mostly, he said stuff like this.
06:44No more climate change worship.
06:46No more division, distraction, or gender delusions.
06:49No more debris.
06:51as I've said before
06:53and will say again
06:55we are done with that
06:57whoa
06:59gosh did you hear that five star generals
07:04Pete did a swear
07:05he is cool
07:07you know I hear he has like ten playboys under his mattress
07:10it's awfully lumpy
07:14for Pete
07:17for sec dev Pete
07:19it's all about plain spoken shoot from the hip man guy doing
07:23we just have to be honest
07:25we have to say with our mouths what we see with our eyes
07:28to just tell it like it is in plain English
07:31to point out the obvious things
07:34right in front of us
07:37okay
07:37you suck monkey butt
07:39a big part of Hegs's warrior ethos is about image
08:01frankly it's tiring to look out at combat formations
08:05or really any formation
08:06and see fat troops
08:08likewise it's completely unacceptable to see
08:11fat generals and admirals in the halls of the pentagon
08:13it all starts with physical fitness and appearance
08:16if the secretary of war can do regular hard PT
08:20so can every member of our joint force
08:23damn straight
08:24in fact let's see Pete do some of his regular PT
08:27guys skateboard academy
08:29John Hahn thank you
08:30technically
08:32in that case
08:38in that case PT stands for pound testicle
08:41and I will say I will say this for Hegseth
08:45he never skips nut day
08:46then it was time for the officers
08:50to hear from a true paragon of masculine fitness
08:53Donald Trump
08:55fat generals
08:57no
08:57fat generals
09:04meet Captain Cankles
09:06by the way
09:09I don't know if you noticed how he was walking there
09:11but that shamble up to the mic
09:13was about as high as his energy got
09:16for the whole day
09:17the president is so anti-woke
09:19he's barely conscious
09:20he loves a rally crowd though
09:24he loves a rally crowd though
09:26he loves a rally crowd
09:30he loves a rally crowd
09:33but traditionally
09:34the senior leadership of the U.S. military
09:36never claps for political speeches
09:38that's the tradition
09:39they're supposed to be non-partisan
09:41and sit there stone-faced
09:42it's like doing stand-up for Easter Island heads
09:44so Trump didn't love the crowd
09:47I've never walked into a room so silent before
09:50you know what just have a good time
09:52and if you want to applaud you applaud
09:54and if you want to do anything you want
09:56you can do anything you want
09:58and if you don't like what I'm saying
09:59you can leave the room
10:00roger that
10:01I'm sorry
10:10oh you mean the generals
10:12you mean the generals
10:14I forgot
10:15I have
10:15I have to
10:16till May
10:17I forgot
10:17okay yeah
10:18okay now
10:18look I know what you're saying
10:20you're saying
10:20Steve
10:21Trump may have no sense of discipline
10:23or decorum
10:24but at least he didn't assemble
10:25every general in the world
10:26to bring up the N-word
10:28there's that to hold on to
10:30right
10:31wrong
10:33here he is talking about
10:36the nuclear
10:37we can't
10:38let people throw around
10:40that word
10:42I call it the N-word
10:45there are two N-words
10:47and you can't use either of them
10:49yep
10:49no that's right folks
10:51there's two N-words
10:52one you can never use
10:56and the other you can only use
10:57if you're doing karaoke
10:58she take me money
11:03now
11:05that's my impression of Trump
11:12during his impression of Jamie Fox
11:14his impression of Ray Charles
11:17thank you very much
11:18Trump talked about how America
11:20is respected again
11:21we were not respected with Biden
11:23they looked at him falling
11:25downstairs every day
11:26every day the guy's falling
11:27downstairs
11:28I'm very careful
11:29you know when I walk downstairs
11:30like I'm on stairs
11:33like these stairs
11:34I'm very
11:34I walk very slowly
11:36you don't have to set any record
11:38be cool
11:38be cool when you walk down
11:41but don't
11:41don't bop down the stairs
11:43so one thing with Obama
11:45I had zero respect for him
11:47as a president
11:47but he would bop down those stairs
11:49I've never seen
11:50da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da da
12:20of course when you call in generals from every corner of the world you don't just
12:27talk about stairs you talk about office supplies when I have a general and I
12:32have to sign for general because we have beautiful paper the gorgeous paper I
12:36said throw a little more gold on it they deserve it I want to use the big
12:41beautiful firm paper what what what is and why is the paper like this what is
12:48I don't understand what paper what paper goes like this can we see I'm sorry can
12:57we what is this can we see the big beautiful firm paper he's talking about
13:01there you go
13:13Trump then turned his attention to modernizing the Navy
13:17those ships some people would say no that's old technology I don't know I
13:21don't think it's old technology when you look at those guns but it's something
13:26we're actually considering the concept of battleship battleship we're also
13:31considering the concept of twister the notion of hungry hungry hippo and of
13:39course Yahtzee or in my case neo Yahtzee
13:43so far so nuts but Trump also went very dark at times warning the military brass about America's number
14:02one enemy Americans last month I signed an executive order to provide training for a quick reaction force that can help quell civil disturbances this is going to be a big thing for the people in this room because it's the enemy from within and we have to handle it before it gets out of control
14:09what are you a quick reaction force to handle the enemy within how would we even know who that enemy is do we expect them to just come out and identify themselves you knew damn well
14:16I was a snake before you took me in
14:43I guess so we got a great show tonight
14:47Grammy award-winning artist Sam Smith is here but when we come back
14:51it's our friend Jimmy Kimmel
14:53stick around
15:13give it up for Lewis Tateau and the Late Show Band everybody
15:24there you go
15:26you know Lewis here's the thing here's the thing about doing one of these shows it's such a privilege
15:36so few people know what it's like to do one of these shows on a nightly basis the privilege of it the grind of it and all that kind of stuff
15:43well I'm happy to say ladies and gentlemen my first guest tonight knows what it's like he's a very funny comedian who is the host of Jimmy Kimmel Live
15:50please welcome back to the Late Show my friend of yours Jimmy Kimmel
15:57thanks for being here thank you for having me I am so honored to be here with my
16:01fellow no talent late night loser
16:08that's right to have you here thank you for having me I am so honored to be here with my
16:24fellow no talent late night loser
16:30it's great to have to stick together you know
16:32well we're honored we're honored here because this is the first interview you've done since September 17th when you found out that you had been indefinitely suspended
16:41that's right
16:43thankfully and as you said you got back on the air a week later and I'm curious what have you recovered from that emotional rollercoaster yet?
16:51it was an emotional rollercoaster
16:54I know you hear that a lot and it really was it was very strange you want to hear the whole thing?
16:59yeah of course
17:00how did you find out?
17:02okay so it was around it was about 3 o'clock we tape our show at 4 30
17:06I'm in my office typing away as I usually do I get a phone call
17:11it's ABC they say they want to talk to me this is unusual
17:15they as far as I knew they didn't even know I was doing a show
17:19previous to this so I have a lot of people I have like 5 people who work in my office with me so the only private place to go is the bathroom
17:29so I go into the bathroom and I'm on the phone with the ABC executives and they say listen we want to take the temperature down
17:38we're concerned about what you're going to say tonight and we decided that the best route is to take the show off the air tonight
17:45and that's what I said I started booing
17:50I said I don't think that's a good idea and they said well we think it's a good idea and then there was a vote
17:58I lost the vote and I lost the vote and so I had I put my pants back on and I walked out to my office and I called in some of the executive producers and there were about nine people in there and I said they're pulling the show off the air and I was my wife said I was white
18:20it's whiter than Jim Gaffigan when I came out of it
18:23well but like what's the first thing that occurred to you I thought that's it it's over it is over
18:28I that I was like this is I'm never coming back on the air that's really what I thought and and so we told our staff
18:36now meanwhile there's the whole audience is they're in their seats
18:39oh wait I didn't know that your audience was already loaded
18:42they're loaded and in their seats ready for the show
18:45we had a chef a guy named Christian Petrino on the show who up Troni sorry on the show who was making meatballs and polenta that night he'd been cooking all day
18:57then we had Howard Jones was taping a performance Howard Jones like no one ever is to blame yes yes but there was someone to blame in this
19:09case the fact it's funny you mentioned that because the song he was doing was
19:15with the song he did do because we decided to tape it anyway even though we sent the audience home was in front of our disappointed employees was things can only get better
19:26which you could take two ways right exactly so
19:32so then I uh you know we we we said oh we sent the audience home we need the the staff to go in and listen to Howard Jones and pretend to be the audience and then the staff went and ate polenta and meatballs after
19:51well you don't have jobs but there's plenty of wet cornmeal there you go we figure might as well eat
19:57while we still can put it in your pockets so then I go home yeah and I stayed at the show for a couple of hours
20:03and I go home I'm followed by 20 paparazzi cars TMZ people jumping in front of me on the way home we're just
20:11trying to get to the house and we're like should we be going to our house do we want there are two helicopters
20:16flying over two helicopters following us home meanwhile I hadn't had makeup on yet so
20:22my bald spot was not painted in this is something I did not want America to see
20:28yes we get to the house and we're shaking you know and the kids are up and I got two kids and uh
20:34our daughter who's uh 11 years old says um I can sell my labooboos
20:40it was very it was actually very sweet well that's lovely our son just got naked and started
20:45running around the house also lovely and um and then there were then it was like um it was like uh
20:53a DUI in LA three days in jail where I couldn't say anything I just had to sit quiet and make a lot of
21:00phone calls and take a lot of phone calls you were very kind to call me and um we we spoke about
21:06about this you know certainly you know well and um and uh who was the most unusual person that he got
21:14a text from because I got some fun ones I got my high school girlfriend uh I gave my phone to evie
21:20and I said as soon as I was cancelled basically I heard from the strike force people and and I heard
21:24from uh Jon Stewart and then I handed my phone to evie and I said just don't give this back to me for
21:29several days yeah when I finally went through it high school girlfriend James Taylor and George R.R.
21:37Martin wow he sent me the winds of winter wow oh that's nice yeah I did not have a girlfriend in
21:45high school so I didn't hear from her I did hear from a girl that I would have liked to have been my
21:54girlfriend in high school uh I heard from the usual the Pope uh solid guy he's a solid guy I did hear from
22:04literally everyone I have ever met I heard from like the guy who picked me up at the airport in
22:09Nashville 15 years ago I heard from a lot of people get people who've been guests on the show
22:15I got a very beautiful note from James Taylor I'd love to compare those because did you really get one
22:21from JT I want to see if JT did a cut and paste on us you know can we get our phones can we get our phones oh
22:30I have to say probably the most beautiful text I got was from James Taylor wow
22:36I got an amazing one too yeah well I don't want to get in a competition with you about it
22:40exactly um we have to take a quick break we'll be right back with more Jimmy Kimmel everybody stick around
22:45hey everybody we're back with the national treasure Mr. James Kimmel from the ABC broadcasting company you've been hosting uh the the Jimmy Kimmel lives for for 22 years premiered in 2003 we had a short break
22:50in the middle yes yes okay after everything happens do you does it do you find yourself appreciating
22:56the Jimmy Kimmel lives for for 22 years premiered in 2003 we had a short break in the middle yes yes okay
23:02after everything happens does it do you find yourself appreciating it more I mean I I do yes I definitely not just I mean not just the job the job is great and being able to put a show on every day is something that I think I did radio
23:17for 12 years before that so I've kind of always been in this daily show world where you do something every day and also nobody at home listens to anything I say so that became a parent like day 2 that that
23:44That became apparent, like, day two,
23:46that there was going to be no listening to me anymore.
23:49I will say, though, like, the whole staff,
23:52everybody was really scared and very bummed, like your staff.
23:55And it's terrible what happened to your staff.
23:57I mean, it really, I just think that it's just such a shame.
24:01You guys do such a great show and such a...
24:03And people love this show.
24:05And to WSA, no.
24:07To me...
24:08To me, and I'm sure you feel the same way,
24:12is that I will miss doing the show,
24:14but this is the greatest group of people I've ever worked with.
24:16We took 20 years to put this team together,
24:19and I'm so honored to be one of them.
24:21Let me ask you...
24:22Can I tell you something about your staff,
24:23which you have a great staff, and your writers,
24:25and your show is absolutely fantastic.
24:28And I mean that.
24:28I'm not just saying that because we're on TV,
24:30and I hope you know that.
24:31And I think you are a great person.
24:32But I will say, the first 10 members of your staff
24:35came right up to me and said,
24:37I will leave today if you hire me.
24:39As well they should.
24:40They said that.
24:41Matter of fact, are you hiring?
24:43I will give you that.
24:44Because I'm available in June if you need...
24:46I'll be Guillermo's sidekick, if that's okay.
24:50Happy to do that.
24:52Now, you started as a radio, you know, disc jockey.
24:55As you said, when you were, you know,
24:56spinning platters and making with the banter,
24:59did you ever think the president of the United States
25:01would be celebrating your unemployment?
25:03I mean, that son of a bitch, you know?
25:09It's really unbelievable.
25:12Mr. Son of a Bitch.
25:13I mean, Mr. Son of a Bitch.
25:15His royal...
25:16Yeah, see, no, I never imagined that we'd ever have
25:19a president like this.
25:21And I hope we don't ever have another president
25:24like this again.
25:26I mean, I never imagined...
25:28I never even imagined there would ever be a situation
25:31in which the president of our country
25:33was celebrating hundreds of Americans losing their jobs.
25:37But somebody who took pleasure in that,
25:39that, to me, is the absolute opposite
25:42of what a leader of this country is supposed to be.
25:46Hear, hear.
25:47Hear, hear.
25:49Do you have to take another break?
25:50We'll be right back with more Jimmy Kimmel, everybody.
25:52Stick around.
25:52Hey, everybody.
26:07I'm happy to see that you are joining us
26:11for another lovely segment with Jimmy Kimmel.
26:14By the way, people, people, some people may not know this.
26:18I'm on your show tonight, and should we wave to ourselves?
26:23Yes, let's do it.
26:24Over on ABC, which, with the listener, hi!
26:28Have a great show.
26:29Love those guys.
26:30Good guys.
26:31Handsome.
26:32Very handsome.
26:34I want to thank you for something that you did.
26:36This was just, this just shows you what kind of fellow you are.
26:38As soon, as soon as we got canceled,
26:41you put up this billboard in Los Angeles.
26:44I am voting for Steven.
26:46Well, I like you.
26:46I did vote for you.
26:50And everyone on our staff voted for you.
26:52Oh, thank you.
26:53And I'm going to be honest.
26:54Usually, I vote for myself.
26:56Yes.
26:57This year, I voted for you.
26:59I was originally, the billboard originally
27:01was supposed to say, um, it was supposed to say,
27:05would you vote for me if I told you I was dying?
27:08We were going to put out, you know, a rumor
27:10that I was dying to try to cheat.
27:13But then this terrible thing happened,
27:15and I was like, you know what?
27:16We got, I think it would be a great statement
27:19if Stephen Colbert won the Emmy this year.
27:21And sure enough, you did.
27:22And I think that was a lot of fun.
27:23Thank you for that.
27:24The only billboard I got.
27:28Well, is that really the only billboard I got?
27:30This is the only billboard I got.
27:33I'm wondering when you are going to, I mean, you have what?
27:36Is it seven, eight months?
27:37Eight months.
27:37Eight months left.
27:38Yeah.
27:39When are you going to, like, go nuts?
27:41When are you going to come?
27:43When are those glasses going to come off?
27:45When are you going to shake your hair out?
27:47Like, like the Hot for Teacher video?
27:51Maybe do some, like, ayahuasca on set?
27:55Sure.
27:55Go on a journey?
27:56Do you bring enough for both of us?
27:58I actually did bring you a gift.
27:59Did you want it?
28:00I would love a gift.
28:01I have something for you.
28:02You have a gift for me?
28:02Okay.
28:02I do have a gift.
28:03Is that it back there?
28:04There's something back there.
28:05I think it probably is back there.
28:06Everyone, nobody look at my ass while I'm doing this.
28:08Okay?
28:10All right.
28:10Okay.
28:12All right.
28:12So I think this is something that you could use,
28:16you could start using now or you could wait
28:18until the show is over or whatever.
28:20But I think you're going to like it a lot.
28:21I give it a lot of thought.
28:22I think you're going to love it.
28:24Okay.
28:24It represents New York and also...
28:28Now, this is...
28:33I'm trying to figure out what's been mashed together here.
28:42It's Lady Liberty.
28:44Uh-huh.
28:44It is.
28:44But the flames on top of her head along with a mouthpiece.
28:50It's a chemistry set.
28:51Oh, it is.
28:54It is.
28:56Easy cleaning.
28:57Yeah, yeah.
28:57After you finish the experiment, shall we say.
29:00And I don't know if you've...
29:01Very kind.
29:02I know you like to read.
29:03I do love to read.
29:04I don't know if you have read this,
29:07but I think you're really...
29:08I hear good things.
29:09Yeah, I think you're really going to like it.
29:11I think...
29:11I hear good things.
29:12But I would love to see this.
29:15I want...
29:18I will put this to good use.
29:21You also...
29:22Let me ask them here.
29:24They're telling me I only got a minute,
29:25but...
29:25that.
29:26Now...
29:26What are they going to do?
29:31Cancel me?
29:32Yeah, that's right.
29:33This is you getting wild.
29:34I like it.
29:35This is it.
29:35This is as wild as I get.
29:36Hold on.
29:37Ready?
29:37Ready?
29:38Hold on.
29:44You do something that I can't...
29:46Guillermo!
29:46Guillermo!
29:48This is...
29:49How's it going?
29:51Guillermo.
29:53All right.
29:54All right.
29:54All right.
29:56To good friends,
30:22great jobs,
30:24and
30:24late-night TV.
30:27Yeah.
30:27There you go.
30:28Yeah!
30:30Thanks, Guillermo.
30:32To Steve and Goldberg.
30:36Wow.
30:43So...
30:44Oh, yeah!
30:48Wait.
30:50Guillermo.
30:51Guillermo,
30:51this is how you pour.
30:52Oh, yeah.
30:52Oh, yeah.
30:52Oh, yeah.
30:53Oh, yeah.
30:54Let's go wild.
30:55Wow.
30:56Let's go wild.
30:56Yeah.
30:58I like that.
30:59I like that.
31:00Yeah.
31:03Thank you very much.
31:03Yeah.
31:04I'll just put that down there
31:05with The Hobbit.
31:06One more to Stephen Colbert.
31:07Yeah.
31:08Yeah.
31:08Yeah.
31:16Ah!
31:17James, Guillermo, thank you so much for being here.
31:30James, Guillermo, thank you so much for being here.
31:39Jimmy Kimmel Live airs weeknights on ABC.
31:42The one, the only, the beloved Jimmy Kimmel, everybody.
31:45And Guillermo.
31:47We'll be right back with Sam Smith.
31:49We'll be right back with Sam Smith.
31:56Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
32:04Everybody, welcome back.
32:11Ladies and gentlemen, friends and neighbors,
32:16Romans countrymen, my next guest tonight
32:19is a musical artist who's won five Grammys
32:22and an Academy Award.
32:24Next week, they begin their to-be-free
32:26New York City residency right here in Brooklyn.
32:30Please welcome back to The Late Show, Sam Smith.
32:32Yes, I can bounce around
32:35That makes me, yeah
32:40That's me, oh
32:42My dream
32:44Nice to have you back again.
33:00First time we've had a chance to sit down and talk.
33:02I'm on these couches, yeah.
33:03Very happy to have you here.
33:04I understand that you, I've just been in New York many times,
33:08but now you have moved here.
33:09I have moved here.
33:10Oh, welcome.
33:11Yeah, yeah, it's crazy.
33:13And it's the best, it's the greatest city in the world.
33:16Oh my God, it's amazing.
33:17So I'm just curious, so as a new resident here,
33:21I'm just curious, what are your impressions
33:23lately of our country and our city?
33:25It's a strange time to move to America, for sure.
33:31Yes.
33:32It's very strange.
33:33It's a strange time to stay in America.
33:35Yeah, I know, I know.
33:36But weirdly, for me, well, not weirdly, but being in New York, I feel the most free I've ever felt in the city.
33:44You're lovely.
33:45You're an extraordinarily talented musician, beloved, for your music, but also for your fashion choices.
33:51This is how a lot of people first got to know you.
33:54This was when you were first hitting, this was the look that you were rocking there.
33:57Now, was this your natural sort of state?
34:00Was this your natural look?
34:01That was more, this was more like drag for me.
34:04You were straight drag, straight suit, like that, yeah?
34:09When I was in school, I used to wear, like, full makeup and, like, wild clothing.
34:14I was known in my school for wearing wild clothing.
34:15I have this. Is this what you're talking about?
34:16Yeah, this is wild.
34:18There you go.
34:19Wow.
34:19So this is you in high school, what we would call high school.
34:21This is a teenager.
34:23Where'd you go to school?
34:24I went to school in a place called Bishop Stortford in the U.K., just outside of London.
34:30But as you can see, I was very in the closet.
34:33Yes.
34:35Well, now, people have loved, loved, loved so many of your outfits.
34:38This fabulous number right there in 2022.
34:44Lovely, lovely floating piece of coral.
34:46There you are.
34:47This, this turned a lot of heads.
34:50This made the impression.
34:53This is, it's beautiful, but it looks like perhaps a terrible scuba diving accident or something.
34:58The tank backed up.
34:59Tell me about this.
34:59What was this?
35:00That was the funnest thing I've ever worn in my life.
35:03It was amazing.
35:03Was it hot?
35:05It was, it was, no, it was really, really like cushiony and great.
35:08But my, basically, everyone being, at the time when I wore that, everyone was calling me fat.
35:12So I was just like, let's be really, really fat.
35:15And it was, and it was amazing.
35:17I had to lube myself up when I wore it.
35:19Yes.
35:19All right.
35:21It's a family show.
35:21Family show.
35:23And then, here we go.
35:24This is it.
35:25There it is.
35:25It's all this performance.
35:29I had a fun, I had a fun, it was a fun few years.
35:31Yeah.
35:31It was nice to add some color into the wardrobe.
35:34When did you fall in love with music?
35:35When did you say, oh, this is what I would like to do with my life?
35:38I don't know.
35:38I mean, I had this amazing singing teacher growing up who taught me how to sing when I was like
35:43eight years old.
35:44And then she also released music and wrote albums herself.
35:47Her name is Joanna Eden.
35:48And she, watching her do it, I was just like, that's what I want to do.
35:52I want to travel and I want to sing stories from my life, and I just aim to do that.
36:00I understand.
36:02I heard that your dad had a big influence on your music and your musical taste.
36:08Yeah, my dad was a huge supporter.
36:11He also worked me hard every time I came home from school.
36:15We'd do an hour of singing while he cooked the food, and I'd sing in the kitchen.
36:19And then if I hit a bum note, he would stop cooking and he'd make me start the song again.
36:25And he really enjoyed it.
36:27It was amazing because he also sat there and he cried when I sang.
36:30And he was such a tender man.
36:32Oh, that's lovely.
36:33When, you know, so people struggle for many years before they make it.
36:36When did you think to yourself, oh, I've hit a level that I hadn't expected
36:43or that I'd wanted to achieve?
36:45It was pretty, it was much later in my career, actually, because I,
36:49the first three, four years of my career was so crazy.
36:52And I just, I have this one memory of this arena in Montreal.
36:56It's called the Bell Centre.
36:58And my first time I performed there, I sold it out, and I was just, I can't believe this.
37:03And, but going back there seven, eight years later, and, you know, in my blow-up outfits and stuff,
37:09fully being myself and still being able to sell out that room, that was my moment where I was like.
37:13Well, talk about, talking about selling out the room, you've got new music coming
37:21and a residency in Brooklyn starting next week as part of you to be free New York City.
37:28What can people expect?
37:30Are we going to cry?
37:30Are we going to dance?
37:31Are we going to dance till we cry?
37:33What do we do?
37:34Well, first of all, please come. It's in a place, it's, it's in, um, it's in a place called
37:39the Warsaw in Brooklyn, and, um, it's a thousand capacity venue, and it's, it's smaller than my
37:44shows I've done over the past six, seven years. And, um, it's just me and friends, and they're
37:50banging wood, and I'm singing. It's very simple.
37:52And then you've also got a residency. You're going to San Francisco, too, after that, aren't you?
37:56Yes. I'm going to San Francisco and opening up the incredible Castro Theater in San Francisco,
38:00which is, um, really amazing.
38:03Some of, some of your most popular music are very emotional ballads. Do you ever get emotional
38:09listening to your own music? Do you ever cry?
38:12I, I have in the past, but this, I've been working on a project right now, and for the first time,
38:17I'm in love, like, fully in love with someone.
38:22And so, you know, I, I cry even talking about it, but I, singing love songs for the first time
38:29and actually meaning it, it's, that makes me cry.
38:31That was extraordinary. You've worked, you've worked with some legends, uh, Streisand,
38:37Madonna, keys, okay. Who's still on the dream collaboration list?
38:42Oh, my God. I, I, I mean, after Streisand and Madonna, where do you go? It's insane.
38:49Mm-hmm. And Mary J. Blige, when I sang with her,
38:51that was just insane. Um, okay. My, every single year, um, it's like a religious experience for me.
39:00I go and see Mariah Carey sing Christmas songs in New York.
39:03And so, to sing with Mariah Carey and to sing a Christmas song with her, I would, I would, I would die.
39:11Well, you know, she, I know, I think she watches every one of these shows. And so,
39:17Mariah, you know what you need to do. I don't call in favors often. I don't ask for much.
39:21But come on the show and sing with Sam.
39:25This show, A Christmas Carol, this year.
39:27That'd be fabulous.
39:28Wouldn't that be fantastic? That'd be fabulous.
39:31So lovely to see you. Thank you so much for being here.
39:33Tickets for To Be Free New York City are available now.
39:37And you can see Sam perform on this show tomorrow night.
39:40Sam Smith, everybody. We'll be right back.
39:47That's it for The Late Show, everybody. Tune in tomorrow.
39:59And my guest will be Julia Roberts. Good night.
40:17Tickets for To Be Free New York City are available now.
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