The Late Show with Stephen Colbert  S11E16 - Jimmy Kimmel, Sam Smith - Video Dailymotion

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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert - Season 11 Episode 16 - Jimmy Kimmel, Sam Smith

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05:09To our enemies, F-A-F-O.

05:16Oh.

05:20Oh, no.

05:22I know that feeling.

05:24I've been there.

05:25I can commit.

05:26When you think it's gonna land, that quiet crowd really hurts.

05:31And it happens to a lot of people.

05:32It reminds me of when Queen played Wembley.

05:34Hey-oh.

05:44Hey-oh.

05:47Hegseth went all in on what he calls his warrior ethos.

05:52Today is another Liberation Day.

05:54The liberation of America's warriors in name, in deed,

05:58and in authorities.

06:01You kill people and break things for a living.

06:03I'll say it, the Democrats have got to turn down the temperature

06:06on their violent rhetoric.

06:10Now, I know, I know.

06:15Hey-oh.

06:18Hey-oh.

06:20Hey-oh.

06:22Hey-oh.

06:23Yeah.

06:26You guys are great, thank you.

06:29Hey-oh.

06:32Hey-oh.

06:33Hey-oh.

06:34Uh, Sec Def Hegseth

06:37gathered our most important generals for a good reason,

06:39and one day we'll find out what that was.

06:41Because, mostly, he said stuff like this.

06:45No more climate change worship.

06:47No more division, distraction, or gender delusions.

06:50No more debris.

06:52As I've said before, and will say again,

06:56we are done with that .

06:58Whoa.

06:59Gosh, did you hear that, five-star generals?

07:04Pete did a swear.

07:05He is cool.

07:07You know, I hear he has, like, ten Playboys

07:09under his mattress.

07:12It's awfully lumpy.

07:16For Pete, for, uh, Sec Def Pete,

07:19it's all about plain-spoken shoot-from-the-hip

07:22man guy doing.

07:23We just have to be honest.

07:25We have to say with our mouths what we see with our eyes,

07:29to just tell it like it is in plain English,

07:32to point out the obvious things right in front of us.

07:37Okay.

07:38You suck monkey butt.

07:43Right in front of us.

07:45It's obvious.

07:47A big part of Hegs' warrior ethos is about image.

08:01Frankly, it's tiring to look out at combat formations,

08:05or really any formation, and see fat troops.

08:09Likewise, it's completely unacceptable to see fat generals

08:12and admirals in the halls of the Pentagon.

08:14It all starts with physical fitness and appearance.

08:17If the Secretary of War can do regular hard P.T.,

08:21so can every member of our joint force.

08:23Damn straight.

08:24In fact, let's see Pete do some of his regular P.T.

08:28Guys, K-board Academy, John Hall, thank you.

08:30And...

08:32Technically.

08:38In that case, in that case,

08:39P.T. stands for pound testicle.

08:41And I will say, I will say this for Hegseth,

08:45he never skips nut day.

08:46Then, it was time for the officers to hear from a true paragon

08:52of masculine fitness, Donald Trump.

08:56Fat generals, no!

09:03Fat generals, meet Captain Cankles.

09:06By the way, I don't know if you noticed how he was walking there,

09:11but that shamble up to the mic was about as high as his energy got

09:15for the whole day.

09:17The president is so anti-woke, he's barely conscious.

09:20He loves a rally crowd, though.

09:24He loves a rally crowd, though.

09:26Hey-o!

09:28Hey-o!

09:29But...

09:30He loves a rally crowd, but traditionally, the senior leadership

09:35of the U.S. military never claps for political speeches.

09:38That's the tradition.

09:39They're supposed to be nonpartisan and sit there stone-faced.

09:42It's like doing stand-up for Easter Island heads.

09:44So Trump didn't love the crowd.

09:47I've never walked into a room so silent before.

09:50You know what, just have a good time.

09:52And if you want to applaud, you applaud.

09:54And if you want to do anything you want,

09:56you can do anything you want.

09:57And if you don't like what I'm saying, you can leave the room.

10:00ROGER THAT!

10:09I'M SORRY.

10:11OH, YOU MEAN THE GENERALS.

10:13YOU MEAN THE GENERALS.

10:14I FORGOT.

10:15I HAVE TO TILL MAY.

10:17I FORGOT.

10:18OKAY, YEAH.

10:19OKAY, NOW, LOOK, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.

10:20YOU'RE SAYING, STEVE, TRUMP MAY HAVE NO SENSE OF DISCIPLINE OR

10:23DECORUM, BUT AT LEAST HE DIDN'T ASSEMBLE EVERY GENERAL IN THE

10:26WORLD TO BRING UP THE N-WORD.

10:29THERE'S THAT TO HOLD ON TO, RIGHT?

10:32WRONG.

10:34HERE HE IS TALKING ABOUT THE NUCLEAR.

10:37WE CAN'T LET PEOPLE THROW AROUND THAT WORD.

10:44I CALL IT THE N-WORD.

10:46THERE ARE TWO N-WORDS AND YOU CAN'T USE EITHER OF THEM.

10:49YEAH, NO, THAT'S RIGHT, FOLKS.

10:51THERE'S TWO N-WORDS.

10:54ONE YOU CAN NEVER USE AND THE OTHER YOU CAN ONLY USE IF

10:57YOU'RE DOING KARAOKE.

10:59SHE'D TAKE ME MONEY.

11:04NOW, THAT'S MY IMPRESSION OF TRUMP

11:12AND HIS IMPRESSION OF DAMIE FOX AND HIS IMPRESSION OF

11:16RAY CHARLES.

11:17THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

11:18TRUMP TALKED ABOUT HOW AMERICA IS RESPECTED AGAIN.

11:21WE WERE NOT RESPECTED WITH BIDEN.

11:24THEY LOOKED AT HIM FALLING DOWN STAIRS EVERY DAY.

11:26EVERY DAY THE GUYS FALLING DOWN STAIRS.

11:28I'M VERY CAREFUL.

11:29YOU KNOW, WHEN I WALK DOWN STAIRS, LIKE I'M ON STAIRS,

11:32LIKE THESE STAIRS, I'M VERY, I WALK VERY SLOWLY.

11:36YOU DON'T HAVE TO SET ANY RECORD.

11:38BE COOL.

11:39BE COOL WHEN YOU WALK DOWN, BUT DON'T, DON'T BOP DOWN THE STAIRS.

11:43SO ONE THING WITH OBAMA, I HAVE ZERO RESPECT FOR HIM AS A PRESIDENT,

11:47BUT HE WOULD BOP DOWN THOSE STAIRS, I'VE NEVER SEEN.

12:03WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

12:07OBAMA, OBAMA, CAN WE SEE FOOTAGE OF OBAMA GOING DOWN THE STAIRS?

12:13OKAY, I STAND CORRECTED.

12:15I WAS WRONG.

12:17I'M SORRY.

12:22OF COURSE, WHEN YOU CALL IN GENERALS FROM EVERY CORNER OF THE WORLD,

12:25YOU DON'T JUST TALK ABOUT STAIRS.

12:28YOU TALK ABOUT OFFICE SUPPLIES.

12:30WHEN I HAVE A GENERAL, AND I HAVE TO SIGN FOR GENERAL,

12:32BECAUSE WE HAVE BEAUTIFUL PAPER, THE GORGEOUS PAPER,

12:35I SAID, THROW A LITTLE MORE GOLD ON IT, THEY DESERVE IT.

12:38I WANT TO USE THE BIG, BEAUTIFUL, FIRM PAPER.

12:42WHAT?

12:44WHAT IS, AND WHY IS THE PAPER LIKE THIS?

12:47WHAT IS, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

12:49WHAT PAPER, WHAT PAPER GOES LIKE THIS?

12:53CAN WE SEE, I'M SORRY, CAN WE, WHAT IS THIS?

12:57CAN WE SEE THE BIG, BEAUTIFUL, FIRM PAPER HE'S TALKING ABOUT?

13:01THERE YOU GO.

13:05OKAY, THAT MAKES SENSE.

13:07THERE YOU GO.

13:09WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

13:10TRUMP THEN TURNED HIS ATTENTION TO MODERNIZING THE NAVY.

13:16THOSE SHIPS, UH, SOME PEOPLE WOULD SAY, NO, THAT'S OLD TECHNOLOGY.

13:20I DON'T KNOW.

13:21I DON'T THINK IT'S OLD TECHNOLOGY WHEN YOU LOOK AT THOSE GUNS.

13:24BUT IT'S SOMETHING WE'RE ACTUALLY CONSIDERING, THE CONCEPT OF BATTLESHIP.

13:28WE'RE ALSO CONSIDERING THE CONCEPT OF TWISTER, THE NOTION OF HUNGRY, HUNGRY HIPPO, AND,

13:38OF COURSE, YAZI, OR, IN MY CASE, NEO-YAZI.

13:55SO FAR, SO NUTS.

13:56BUT TRUMP ALSO WENT VERY DARK AT TIMES, WARNING THE MILITARY BRASS ABOUT AMERICA'S NUMBER ONE ENEMY, AMERICANS.

14:03LAST MONTH, I SIGNED AN EXECUTIVE ORDER TO PROVIDE TRAINING FOR QUICK REACTION FORCE THAT CAN HELP QUELL CIVIL DISTURBANCES.

14:12THIS IS GOING TO BE A BIG THING FOR THE PEOPLE IN THIS ROOM BECAUSE IT'S THE ENEMY FROM WITHIN,

14:18AND WE HAVE TO HANDLE IT BEFORE IT GETS OUT OF CONTROL.

14:21WHAT DO YOU...

14:22A QUICK REACTION FORCE TO HANDLE THE ENEMY WITHIN?

14:29HOW WOULD WE EVEN KNOW WHO THAT ENEMY IS?

14:32DO WE EXPECT THEM TO JUST COME OUT AND IDENTIFY THEMSELVES?

14:36YOU KNEW DAMN WELL I WAS A SNAKE BEFORE YOU TOOK ME IN.

14:43I GUESS SO.

14:45WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.

14:47GRAMMY AWARD-WINNING ARTIST SAM SPIN IS HERE.

14:49BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, IT'S OUR FRIEND JIMMY KIMMEL.

14:53STICK AROUND.

14:55STICK AROUND.

14:57STICK AROUND.

15:09ESPECIALLY A SOLE GOLD TAYTON TAYTON C.

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22:52Hey everybody, we're back with the national treasure, Mr. James Kimmel from the ABC Broadcasting Company

23:07You've been hosting the Jimmy Kimmel Lives for 22 years, premiered in 2003

23:14We had a short break in the middle, yes

23:15Okay, after everything that happens, do you find yourself appreciating it more?

23:20I mean, I do

23:21Yes, I definitely

23:23Not just, I mean, not just the job

23:25The job is great

23:26And being able to put a show on every day is something that I think

23:30I did radio for 12 years before that

23:33So I've kind of always been in this daily show world

23:37Where you do something every day

23:38And also nobody at home listens to anything I say

23:43So that became apparent like day two that there was going to be no listening to me anymore

23:49I will say though, like the whole staff, everybody was really scared and very bummed

23:54Like you, like your staff

23:55And it's terrible what happened to your staff

23:57I mean, it really, I just think that it's just such a shame

24:01You guys do such a great show and such a, and people love this show

24:05And to WSA, no, to me

24:08To me, and I'm sure you feel the same way

24:12Is that I will miss doing the show

24:14But this is the greatest group of people I've ever worked with

24:16We took 20 years to put this team together

24:18And I'm so honored to be one of them

24:20Let me ask you

24:22Can I tell you something about your staff

24:23Which you have a great staff

24:25And your writers and your show is absolutely fantastic

24:27And I mean that

24:28I'm not just saying that because we're on TV

24:30And I hope you know that

24:31And I think you are a great person

24:32But I will say

24:33The first 10 members of your staff

24:35Came right up to me and said

24:36I will leave today if you hire me

24:38As well they should

24:40They said that

24:41Matter of fact

24:42Are you hiring?

24:43I will give you that

24:44Because I'm available in June

24:45If you need

24:46I'll be Guillermo's sidekick

24:48If that's okay

24:49Happy to do that

24:51Now you started as a radio

24:53You know, a disc jockey

24:54As you said

24:55When you were, you know

24:56Spinning platters

24:57And making with the banter

24:59Yeah

25:00Did you ever think

25:00The president of the United States

25:01Would be celebrating your unemployment

25:03I mean that son of a bitch

25:09You know

25:09Is

25:10Really unbelievable

25:12Mr. Son of a bitch

25:13I mean

25:13Mr. Son of a bitch

25:15His royal

25:16Yes

25:17No, I never imagined that

25:18We'd ever have a president like this

25:21And I hope we don't ever have

25:23Another president like this again

25:25I mean, I never imagined

25:27I never even imagined

25:29There would ever be a situation

25:31In which the president of our country

25:33Was celebrating hundreds of Americans

25:35Losing their jobs

25:37But somebody who took pleasure in that

25:39That to me is the absolute opposite

25:42Of what a leader of this country

25:44Is supposed to be

25:45Hear, hear

25:47Hear, hear

25:48You have to take another break

25:50We'll be right back with more

25:51Jimmy Kimmel, everybody

25:52Stick around

25:52Hey, everybody

26:06I'm happy to see

26:08That you are joining us

26:11For another lovely segment

26:12With Jimmy Kimmel

26:13By the way

26:15People, people

26:17Some people may not know this

26:18I'm on your show tonight

26:20And, um

26:21Should we wave to ourselves?

26:23Yes, let's do it

26:24Over on ABC

26:24Which, with the listener

26:25Hi

26:26Have a great show

26:29Love those guys

26:29Good guys

26:31Handsome

26:31Very handsome

26:33Um, I want to thank you

26:35For something that you did

26:36This was just

26:36This just shows you

26:37What kind of fellow you are

26:38As soon

26:39As soon as we got cancelled

26:41You put up this billboard

26:42In Los Angeles

26:43I am voting for Stephen

26:45Well, I did

26:46I did vote for you

26:49And everyone on our staff voted for you

26:52Oh, thank you

26:53And I'm going to be honest

26:54Usually I vote for myself

26:56Yes

26:56This year I voted for you

26:59I was originally

26:59The billboard originally

27:01Was supposed to say

27:02Um, it was supposed to say

27:05Would you vote for me

27:07If I told you I was dying

27:08We were going to put out

27:10You know, a rumor

27:10That I was dying

27:11To try to

27:11Sheep

27:12But

27:13Then light

27:14This terrible thing happened

27:15And I was like

27:16You know what

27:16We got

27:17I think it would be

27:17A great statement

27:19If Stephen Colbert

27:20Won the Emmy this year

27:21And sure enough

27:22You did

27:22And I think

27:22Thank you for that

27:24This is the only billboard I got

27:26Well

27:28Is that really the only billboard

27:30This is the only billboard

27:32This is the only billboard I got

27:33I'm wondering

27:34When you are gonna

27:35I mean, you have what

27:36Seven, eight months

27:37Eight months

27:37Eight months left

27:38Yeah

27:39When are you gonna like

27:40Go nuts

27:41When are you gonna

27:42When are those glasses

27:44Gonna come off

27:45When are you gonna

27:46Shake your hair out

27:47Like

27:48Like the Hot for Teacher video

27:50Maybe do some like

27:52Ayahuasca on set

27:54Sure

27:55Go on a journey

27:56Are you

27:56Do you bring enough

27:57For both of us

27:58I actually did bring you a gift

27:59Did you want it

28:00I would love a gift

28:01I have something for you

28:02Okay

28:02I do have a gift

28:03Is that it back there

28:04There's something back there

28:05I think it probably is back there

28:06Everyone

28:06Nobody look at my ass

28:08While I'm doing this

28:08Okay

28:08Alright

28:10Okay

28:10Alright

28:12So

28:13I think this is something

28:14That

28:15You can use

28:16You can start using now

28:17Or you can wait

28:18Until the show is over

28:19Whatever

28:20But

28:20Thank you very much

28:21I think you're gonna like it a lot

28:21I give it a lot of thought

28:22I think you're gonna love it

28:24Okay

28:24It represents New York

28:26And also

28:27Now this is

28:31It's

28:33I'm trying to

28:40I'm trying to figure out

28:41What's been mashed together here

28:42It's Lady Liberty

28:43Uh-huh

28:44It is

28:44But the flames on top of her head

28:46Along with

28:48A mouthpiece

28:50It's a chemistry set

28:51Oh it is

28:54Easy cleaning

28:57Yeah

28:57After you finish the experiment

28:59Shall we say

29:00And I don't know if you've

29:01Thank you very kind

29:02I know you like to read

29:03And I

29:03I do love to read

29:04I don't know if you

29:06Have read this

29:06But I think you're really

29:08I hear good things

29:09Yeah

29:09I think you're really gonna like it

29:10I think

29:11I hear good things

29:12But I would love to see this

29:15I want

29:16Thank you

29:18I'll put this to good use

29:20You also

29:22Let me

29:23They're telling me

29:24I only got a minute

29:24But

29:25F*** that

29:26Now

29:26We uh

29:29What are they gonna do

29:30Cancel me

29:32Yeah that's right

29:33This is you getting wild

29:34I like it

29:35This is it

29:35This is as wild as I get

29:36Hold on

29:37Ready

29:38Hold on

29:38I use you something

29:45That I can't

29:46Guillermo

29:46This is

29:48How you doing

29:49Thank you

29:51Guillermo

29:51Come on

29:53Another one

29:55See you later

29:58To good friends

30:22Great jobs

30:23And

30:24Late night TV

30:27Yeah

30:27There you go

30:28Yeah

30:28Thanks

30:31Thank you

30:31Guillermo

30:31To Steve

30:32Go

30:33Go

30:33Wow

30:36Thank you

30:39Oh yeah

30:46Wait

30:49Guillermo

30:50Guillermo

30:51This is how you pour

30:52Wow

30:54Let's go wild

30:55Yeah

30:57I like that

30:59I like that

31:00Yeah

31:01Thank you very much

31:03I just gotta put that

31:05Down there with the hobbit

31:06One more to Stephen

31:07Colbert

31:07Yeah

31:08Yeah

31:08Wow

31:22All right

31:24All right

31:27All right

31:28All right

31:32All right

31:33James

31:36Thank you my friend

31:37Guillermo

31:37Thank you

31:38Thank you

31:38Thank you for being here

31:39Jimmy Kimmel Live airs weeknights on ABC

31:42The one, the only, the beloved Jimmy Kimmel, everybody

31:45And Guillermo

31:47We'll be right back with Sam Smith

31:49Everybody, welcome back

31:51Ladies and gentlemen, friends and neighbors, Romans countrymen, my next guest tonight is

32:19A musical artist who's won five Grammys and an Academy Award

32:23Next week they begin their To Be Free New York City residency right here in Brooklyn

32:29Please welcome back to The Late Show, Sam Smith

32:32Nice to have you back again

32:34Thank you

32:35First time we've had a chance to sit down and talk

32:39First time on these couches, yeah

32:40We're very happy to have you here. I understand that you have just been New York many times but now you have moved here.

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34:36Loved so many of your outfits

34:39Th governance này, anh ấy vào để fer lberona

34:41như là gì đó

34:43?

34:44Vài

34:45với bi bản của chi liên thống

34:46Tường theme af

34:48Thu trat với có lardan nhiều

34:49Oh my...

34:52Cụi

34:52Và Cameron

34:54Nhưng nhưng cũng như v barre

34:54Như thế là h Tut

34:56Thấy lại Gaza

34:57Hỏa

34:58Quâng

34:59Dường тысяч

34:59Is

35:00The admits

35:00là

35:01Chris

35:01oste något

35:02Đến

35:05Chi

35:06Nhưng mà khi I wore that everyone was calling me fat so I was like, let's be really, really fat.

35:14And it was amazing.

35:16I had to lube myself up when I wore it.

35:19Yes.

35:20All right.

35:21It's a family show.

35:22And then here we go.

35:24This is it.

35:25It's all this performance.

35:28I had a fun few years.

35:30It was nice to add some color into the wardrobe.

35:33When did you fall in love with music?

35:34When did you say, oh, this is what I would like to do with my life?

35:37I don't know.

35:38I mean, I had this amazing singing teacher growing up who taught me how to sing when I was like eight years old.

35:43And then she also released music and wrote albums herself.

35:46Her name is Joanna Eden.

35:47And she, watching her do it, I was just like, that's what I want to do.

35:51I want to travel and I want to sing stories from my life.

35:54And I just aim to do that.

35:59I understand.

36:01I heard that your dad had a big influence on your music and your musical taste.

36:08Yeah.

36:09My dad was a huge supporter.

36:11He also worked me hard.

36:12Every time I came home from school, we'd do an hour of singing while he cooked the food.

36:17And I'd sing in the kitchen.

36:19And then if I hit a bum note, he would stop cooking and he'd make me start the song again.

36:24And he really enjoyed it.

36:26It was amazing because he also sat there and he cried when I sang and he was such a tender man.

36:31Oh, that's lovely.

36:32When, you know, so people struggle for many years before they make it.

36:36When did you think to yourself, oh, I've hit a level that I hadn't expected or that I'd wanted to achieve?

36:44It was pretty, it was much later in my career, actually, because I, the first three, four years of my career was so crazy.

36:51And I just, I have this one memory of this arena in Montreal, it's called the Bell Centre.

36:57And my first time I performed there, I sold it out and I was just like, I can't believe this.

37:02And, but going back there, seven, eight years later, and, you know, in my blow-up outfits and stuff,

37:08fully being myself and still being able to sell out that room, that was my moment where I was like...

37:14Well, talk about, talking about selling out the room, you've got new music coming and a residency in Brooklyn

37:22starting next week as part of you, To Be Free New York City.

37:27What can people expect? Are we going to cry? Are we going to dance?

37:30Are we going to dance till we cry? What do we do?

37:33Well, first of all, please come. It's in a place, it's in, it's in a place called the Warsaw in Brooklyn.

37:40And it's a thousand capacity venue and it's, it's smaller than my shows I've done over the past six, seven years.

37:46And it's just me and friends and they're banging wood and I'm singing. It's very simple.

37:51Exactly. And then you've also got a residency going to San Francisco, too, after that, aren't you?

37:55Yes, I'm going to San Francisco and opening up the incredible Castro Theatre in San Francisco, which is, um...

38:02Some of, some of your most popular music are very emotional ballads.

38:07Do you ever get emotional listening to your own music? Do you ever cry?

38:11I, I have in the past, but this, I've been working on a project right now and for the first time I'm in love,

38:17like fully in love with someone. And so, I, I cry even talking about it, but I, singing love songs for the first time and actually meaning it, it's, that makes me cry.

38:32You've worked, you've worked with some legends, uh, Streisand, Madonna, keys, okay.

38:40Who's still on the dream collaboration list?

38:42Oh, my God. I, I, I mean, after Streisand and Madonna, where do you go?

38:47It's insane. And Mary J. Blige, when I sang with her, that was just insane.

38:52Um, okay. My, every single year, um, it's like a religious experience for me.

38:59I go and see Mariah Carey sing Christmas songs in New York.

39:02And, so, to sing with Mariah Carey and to sing a Christmas song with her, I would, I would, I would die.

39:10Well, you know, she, I know, I think she watches every one of these shows.

39:14And so, Mariah, you know what you need to do. I don't call in favors often.

39:19I don't ask for much, but come on the show and sing with Sam.

39:24This show, a Christmas carol this year.

39:27That'd be fabulous.

39:28Wouldn't that be fantastic? That'd be fabulous.

39:30So lovely to see you. Thank you so much for being here.

39:32Tickets for To Be Free New York City are available now,

39:36and you can see Sam perform on this show tomorrow night.

39:39Sam Smith, everybody. We'll be right back.

39:42That's it for The Late Show, everybody. Tune in tomorrow, and my guest will be Julia Roberts.

40:01Good night.

40:12I'll see you in the next episode.

40:14All right.

40:33Cảm ơn các bạn đã theo dõi và hẹn gặp lại.

The Late Show with Stephen Colbert S11E16 - Jimmy Kimmel, Sam Smith

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