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BRITCOM I
  • 2 days ago

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00:01Just a few more steps and...
00:05Ta-da!
00:08It's an old motel.
00:10An amazing way.
00:11And it's a steal.
00:12I'm not surprised.
00:13Real estate is all about vision, Portia.
00:15And your little lady right here has so much, it's scary.
00:18Emphasis on this here.
00:20But with a paint job, cosmetic landscaping,
00:23and a snappy neon selfie wall.
00:25Hello, selfies.
00:27Trippy cow skulls.
00:29Okay, okay, that all sounds beautiful.
00:32But why would anybody want to stay here in the middle of nowhere?
00:37Because...
00:39One of the most infamous mass murders happened at this very spot.
00:44Hey, hear me out.
00:45The picture crime industry brings in millions here.
00:48And people will travel around the world just to break into a place like this.
00:51Just imagine how much they would pay to legit stay in one.
00:54Little sickos like you.
00:56Thousands.
00:58Throw in the non-themed diner.
01:00Serving a trapped market.
01:01You can't get pizza or Chinese food delivered all the way out here.
01:04You want to eat, you gotta hunt.
01:06Yeah, or I could spend that kind of money on a beautiful winter home in Palm Springs for us with the pool.
01:13Let me think on it.
01:18Of course.
01:19But I know that once you've done your usual market research, and you see how famous this place is, you'll agree we're looking at a true crime goal of mine.
01:29Murders?
01:30Murders?
01:31Where the money's at, girl?
01:35So people would pay to come and stay at a place where a massacre took place?
01:40Oh, big bucks.
01:41Oodles of it.
01:42Guaranteed.
01:43Hey hey hey hey!
01:44Hey hey hey hey!
01:45Hey hey hey!
01:46Hey hey hey!
01:47Hey hey hey hey hey!
01:48Hey hey hey hey!
01:49Everything we owned is in there!
01:50Everything!
01:51Hey hey hey hey!
01:52Hey hey hey!
01:53What are we gonna do?
01:55We're on the way out.
01:56What the hell is the car?
01:57It's in the shop!
01:58We don't bring up the SUV until Monday.
01:59Are you kidding me?
02:00Are you kidding me? You insisted that we come in the goddamn hearse!
02:03This time is serious! We weren't for seeing somebody who would murder a gasp!
02:08Who are they gonna kill next?
02:09We didn't kill anyone! So let's go in the motel now!
02:14Well, someone's dead in the air! And I for one ain't dying today!
02:18Do you want to figure out what's going on? And what we need to do? Then get inside now!
02:24Yeah.
02:25I'm driving in the back.
02:26Okay. Okay.
02:28Let's just get out of here.
02:30All I'm asking is for everybody to keep their heads about them.
02:48Portia and I are handling this.
02:49How do we know you didn't kill Hemingway?
02:51And burn the RV?
02:53You strand us here and then you pick us off one by one?
02:56In what worlds would that make sense?
02:58We are businesswomen.
03:00We have spent $700,000 renovating this place. Not to mention what it cost to buy the motel.
03:07So we're not going to piss away our life savings and ruin our lives in the process.
03:13Maybe not you.
03:13But you. But you. I'm not so sure.
03:18Yeah, me neither.
03:19Why me? Oh, right. Let me guess. My makeup, how I dress.
03:24No, because you're obsessed with the murders that happen.
03:26Yeah. Girl, I'm a connoisseur in slaughter. You're a wannabe.
03:30It's all a little too much and with yourself at the center.
03:33And none of you wanted?
03:35Really?
03:37Every single one of you wanted a piece of true crime history.
03:41And that is what we delivered. Total access to the most famous murder site in history. On our dime.
03:49I can't believe how ungrateful you are.
03:52The bullying. The finger pointing.
03:54What if your guest was cooked to death on your watch?
03:56Exactly.
03:57So thank you so much for the invite, but I want to check out.
04:00Yeah, and if they're going, I'm going to.
04:01Yeah, me too.
04:02Sounds like a good plan.
04:03Okay, I just want to put this in people's heads.
04:06I've hunted this state the last 10 years, and it's serious.
04:10There's black bear all over. And around here you've got gray wolf and mountain lion.
04:14And this weather's no joke. Five minutes out there and you'll be soaked to your skin.
04:18Walk through the woods at night. If the wildlife don't kill you, hypothermia will.
04:23You're a hunter?
04:24Yep. My whole life.
04:28Normally I would bow to you letting your primal impulse loose, but given the circumstances...
04:33I never boiled my prey to death.
04:35How are we supposed to know that?
04:36Listen, fella. Where I come from, if you call someone a murderer, you better back it up.
04:43Prove me wrong, big guy.
04:45Okay, let's all just... let's all just cook. Let's calm down.
04:50Okay? Everybody go back to your rooms.
04:53Lock your doors.
04:54Put that down for the night, and by the morning portion I will have a plan for how we can get help.
04:58That sounds sensible.
04:59I'm going to the kitchen.
05:01Get myself some food.
05:02Yeah, help yourself to whatever you want.
05:04Yeah, I'm also going to help myself to a knife.
05:07I suggest everybody else do the same thing.
05:09I don't think arming everyone will make anybody safer.
05:12Look, if I've learned one thing from personal experience,
05:15crazy murders like these, they never stop at just one.
05:26What the hell?
05:26I know.
05:28You didn't stew that chef, did you?
05:30It's not my handiwork.
05:31But someone beat us to him.
05:33Good news is, they'll pin the RV on whoever killed that prick.
05:36Nice work on your talk about the wilderness and the weather.
05:39Yeah, well, you gotta explain it to these city-bred morons that they can't just, you know,
05:43saunter 45 miles to safety.
05:45One of those people killed the chef.
05:50It's hard to believe that anyone from that pack of spoiled pussies pulled it off.
05:54Pro or Hawaiian might be capable.
05:57What, the wacky spiritual guy and the artist?
06:00So I wouldn't put it past that freak Ruby who runs the place?
06:03I don't know.
06:05Portia seems too put together to be shacked up with a killer.
06:08Someone did it.
06:09And the bigger question is why?
06:10The kids have been dressing up as us for Halloween for years.
06:16Maybe we have a copycat.
06:18Or, maybe we have a real satanist in our midst.
06:23Do you really think so?
06:26Someone who understands the portents behind the timing of all this
06:31and wants to complete the ritual for Baphomet.
06:34A ritual we started.
06:37Whoever it is, we have to flush them out.
06:39We cannot fail again.
06:42The gateway must be open to release Baphomet.
06:45We should just go and kill them all right now.
06:48Patience.
06:49Patience, my love.
06:51The blood must be spilled as we move along Saturn's orbital period,
06:54marking its path.
06:55Yeah?
06:56You spill it all at once or too soon,
06:59and the blood loses its magic.
07:01It won't have the power to open the gate.
07:03We don't have another 30 years to wait for Saturn's return, so...
07:10This must be perfect.
07:14Okay.
07:16We'll figure out who's trying to steal our thunder, then.
07:19We'll make them pay with their life.
07:20Yeah.
07:20Slow.
07:31Someone knows how to use a knife.
07:33Someone had to.
07:34Right.
07:35You already popped your mass murder cherry.
07:38Yeah, it's not a joke.
07:39I never joke about serial killers.
07:46Why don't we room together?
07:50Why would we do that?
07:51Safety in numbers.
07:53Do you trust me?
07:56I trust you.
07:57I mean, it couldn't hurt rooming with someone who has already survived something like this.
08:01I just, I figure I have a better chance of making it out alive with you by my side.
08:26It was a crime scene, so I guess we should lock up down here.
08:32Right.
08:35Do you think the murderer, like, the original murderer has come back?
08:39And finish what he started?
08:41I don't know.
08:42I mean, did we make this happen by reopening the motel?
08:48No.
08:49I promise you.
08:51Let's get this done fast.
08:53We'll go back to our room, lock our doors.
08:55We'll cuddle our way to tomorrow.
08:57Okay?
09:01Oh god.
09:04We can't just leave him like that.
09:05We need to at least try and get him someplace cool.
09:09Maybe the walk-in fridge?
09:11I don't think I can.
09:14We got this.
09:14And we can do anything together.
09:20Okay, uh, how are we going to get him into the kitchen?
09:23I guess we pull him out of here.
09:26Maybe put him on like a yoga mat and carry him the rest of the way.
09:32Sure.
09:32Oh god.
09:49Oh god.
09:50Oh god.
09:51Oh god.
09:52Oh god.
09:52No.
09:53No.
09:53Portia!
10:08Andy.
10:10Shouldn't you be in your room?
10:12I mean, I guess you could say the same for me, but I will not starve to death.
10:15You okay?
10:24Ah.
10:26I guess, uh, writing about true crime isn't the same as being in it, right?
10:31You think we're going to make it?
10:34I can't answer that.
10:36No one can.
10:37I know this feels really far away from your regular life.
10:41But Andy, you were built for this.
10:45It's in your ancestral bones.
10:47You are the son of generations of survivors.
10:53Yeah.
10:54Take a breath with me.
10:58Yeah, that's it.
10:59And what I want you to do is I want you to breathe in your ancestors who fought and who struggled
11:07and who survived to get us to this point.
11:11Their genes made us the men we are today.
11:15We're lucky to be here.
11:17We're lucky to have survived to this point.
11:19And honestly, even in all this madness and challenge,
11:28I'm glad I'm here with you right now.
11:30Thanks.
11:35Cool.
11:37You have, uh, what gift?
11:40How are you so calm? I mean, are you even a little afraid?
11:49Of course.
11:50But I'm deeply interested in things that we look away from.
11:54That includes fear.
11:56Helps in moments like this.
11:58Whenever life gets scary, I walk purposefully towards it.
12:06I hope some of whatever you have is rubbing off on me, Crow.
12:10This is probably the best sandwich I've ever had.
12:18It's soy sauce. It turns mayo into super mayo.
12:23Wow.
12:24Okay, yeah.
12:26So, now that you're feeling all full and happy and appreciating my culinary secrets,
12:33do you think you could tell me a little bit about the Sigmund I killer?
12:41The murder you're part of now, it's not enough for you.
12:43Okay.
12:45Fine. I had to ask, but I get it.
12:49Okay, so why don't you ask me something?
12:52Anything you want.
12:53You really travel all over the world just to bang these guys behind bars?
13:03I do.
13:06It's one of the perks of being a flight attendant.
13:07I can bang a killer on every continent.
13:12Like this one time, I was on a way over in Berlin.
13:16And I met up with this guy, Roland Lucas.
13:24He's a murderer who just got out.
13:26And this guy, like the German cliche, which as far as I can tell is 100% accurate,
13:33he was kinky.
13:35He had me all chained up.
13:39Wait, like actual chains?
13:41Oh yeah, they're way better than ropes, there's no get.
13:43So, he had me all chained up, arms in the air, totally exposed.
13:49And you weren't like scared or anything like that?
13:53I don't know, I was fucking terrified.
13:55But you know what?
13:57It turned on.
13:59Yeah?
13:59A lot of fear and sex.
14:05We're not so far apart.
14:13Hey, um, thanks for that pep talk.
14:28Hey, it's brave to be vulnerable.
14:30And thank you for trusting me enough to share what you're going through.
14:34You want to hang out?
14:35I, uh, swiped a big bag of almonds that I probably shouldn't eat alone.
14:41And I mean, it would pair really, really well with this, uh, bottle of red.
14:50Andy, I'm gonna make a run for it into town.
14:54I'm gonna get us some help.
14:55Okay, but in this storm, it doesn't sound like a good idea.
14:59I think I can make it.
15:00With the work I do, I've logged many hours in extreme weather.
15:04Heat, cold, I'm used to suffering.
15:07Okay, but, I mean, you heard that guy.
15:10There's bears, there's mountain lions.
15:12I can't just sit here and do nothing.
15:15I will go crazy.
15:19I don't know.
15:25Says it's the most waterproof coat on the market.
15:32Stay safe.
15:50Who is that?
15:55I can't see who it is exactly.
15:59One of our little lambs is getting away.
16:01Like hell they are.
16:10We need nine sacrifices to open that portal.
16:13Can I kill this asshole?
16:16And I'll do some reconnaissance on my own.
16:21Be careful.
16:23For all we know, this could be our killer.
16:25I've never bagged me a killer before.
16:27It's a big offering for Baphomet.
16:55It's a big offering for Baphomet.
17:06That was...
17:07Owl.
17:09Sad.
17:17I will get one of the others to help me tomorrow.
17:19Are you going to be okay?
17:23I just want to sleep.
17:25I'm going to sleep until this is over and until the police get here.
17:31You should.
17:32I took a bent.
17:39Good.
17:43I'm sorry for making you do that.
17:47You didn't want to and I should have.
17:49We should have never bought this place.
17:52Portia.
17:54Come on, this was our dream.
17:55No.
17:56No.
17:58No.
17:59This was your dream.
18:01And I never should have bankrolled your sick and perverted nightmare.
18:06This is an awful moment, but it is one tiny stumbling block.
18:15Stumbling block?
18:16Well, his arm fell off like an overcooked joint of meat.
18:24And that is what this place is about, right?
18:26And you love it for it.
18:27I love this story.
18:28No, you love all of it.
18:31Your grotesque obsession with murder and the poor people who died here.
18:36I think that you're happy that they died.
18:38Of course I'm not.
18:39And now you have some new victim to fangirl over.
18:42It's just your obsessions, Ruby.
18:45They repulse me.
18:46Like, you repulse me.
19:07I'm sorry.
19:07Okay, I shouldn't have said that.
19:09It's not you.
19:09It's just, it's this place.
19:11No.
19:13You meant every last word.
19:15And you don't get to try and smooth that over now.
19:18You don't get to pretend that everything we have been building is suddenly perverted and disgusting.
19:24I am so tired.
19:27I'm being here and I'm such a project.
19:29I'm so tired.
19:30I'm never living up here.
19:32You're all here to now.
19:34So you can go screw yourself, Portia.
19:36You know what?
19:42Better yet, paint a target on your chest.
19:46He let that murdering bastard try and find your heart.
19:50Then rip it straight out of you.
20:00I feel the people are all here.
20:01And that you don't have to find your heart.
20:12I'm so tired.
20:14I'm not tired.
20:16I'm trying to find your heart for another one.
20:18I've been克意.
20:20I'm fine, but I'm so tired.
20:21I'm so tired.
20:22Nothing.
20:23I'm so tired.
20:24you run that beast they'll run you down they'll be eating you living before you get back up the
20:35top of this road you must stand your ground and scare it off move on you bastard get out of here
20:54thank you
20:57you just keep that jumpy bugger aren't you
21:12what are you doing out here that's the same about you
21:18I'm going to get us help you're going to become a chew toy
21:21which is why I told everyone else to wait till at least sunrise
21:25I guess I forgot the part where I take orders from you
21:29what's your real name don't say crow because that is a made-up indian old caca
21:41I only got your first name
21:43Floyd Dantry
21:45what's yours
21:47you got ID Floyd Dantry
21:49I lost it in the RV fire
21:54that's convenient
21:56you suspecting of something
21:58I suspect everybody
22:01except Hemingway
22:03so you and your wife you just
22:06show up
22:08that's some out of the way hole in the wall motel that you apparently don't know about
22:13and some mysterious fire destroys your RV
22:16yeah I suspect that a bunch and you would too
22:20so why don't you tell me what you're really doing here
22:22how about I show you
22:27where are you
22:31where are you
22:34yes I didn't have to worry
22:36didn't know you'd have company
22:38yeah no there's nothing to worry about
22:41well the wolf he just ran into said otherwise
22:44mother nature
22:45she could be one mean dangerous bitch
22:49okay wait you saw
22:50one wolf
22:51there'll probably be others nearby
22:54we should go
22:55no no no
22:56I'm not I'm not gonna sit on my hands in that motel Andy
22:58could you talk some sense into him Floyd
23:00that's what he came out here to do
23:01he insists on this foolishness
23:04I just
23:05wow
23:05can't let him go on this track alone
23:08I ain't that kind of guy
23:11oh yeah I guess I can't wait till morning
23:20good man
23:22sane man
23:23whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa I just uh
23:42you don't want to
23:43I do I do I just
23:45it feels like we're moving maybe a little bit too fast
23:47don't you think
23:48but like Hemingway
23:51oh Hemingway just reminds me that life is short
23:53you're a little bit better than anyone right
23:55I mean you know what you want
23:57why should you wait for it
23:59I mean I really
24:01I really
24:02I think I'm not what you want
24:05is to see
24:07what's
24:07huh
24:10well um
24:12you don't have to be embarrassed
24:13you don't have to hide anything
24:14I'm not I'm not I'm not I just I
24:16why do you want to see them
24:18oh
24:19oh my gosh
24:23I'm gonna take this off
24:28okay
24:29oh my god
24:42you were sliced and diced
24:48you were sliced and diced
24:48exactly
24:54yeah it's a poker fireplace poker
24:58now back to both of the other thing that I want
25:01I've got a feeling you want it to know
25:05oh
25:09no way
25:12no no no
25:14I
25:14I don't think so
25:17I don't I also
25:17I don't know if
25:18now's the the right time
25:20for something like that
25:23there's a murderer
25:25out in the halls
25:27and
25:28really
25:30oh
25:33Jesus
25:34okay
25:41look
25:44locked
25:51okay
25:53locked
25:59okay
26:00locked
26:01locked
26:02you're safe
26:05well
26:06safe as you want to be
26:23okay
26:36okay
26:50Okay.
26:52Okay.
27:05Yeah.
27:14Who's my good boy?
27:20Oh, shit.
27:51Uh...
27:52Put that away.
27:53But I like it.
27:55No, put it away.
27:56Put it away.
27:57But it's funny. What is that for you?
27:58No, no, no. Unlock the cups.
27:59Shh, shh, shh.
28:00Calm down.
28:01Don't worry about it.
28:02You're asleep.
28:03No, no, no. Unlock the cups.
28:04Unlock the cups.
28:05Unlock the fucking cups!
28:06Oh, my goodness.
28:22Gah!
28:24I thought this was an art installation, not a performance art piece.
28:39This? This is all shit.
28:42I thought it looked pretty damn good.
28:46Soda?
28:54Cheers.
28:56Cheers.
29:01Isn't this just part of that artistic process we all hear about?
29:05You try to make something great, you doubt it.
29:10No. I've spent my entire career translating these horrors into visual visceral media.
29:17But all this time I've been nothing but a hack.
29:20Come on. Why are you saying that?
29:22Seeing actual murder? I'm close and personal.
29:25What I was doing was just play acting.
29:27You're being too hard on yourself.
29:29No way. You saw Hemingway. You saw his body.
29:32That's what murder is. That was the real deal.
29:36Everything I do is just a photocopy.
29:40Maybe you need to try your hand at murder.
29:45Murder.
29:49What I'm saying is if you need to invest yourself in your art, that might be your only option.
29:59Or you can just try changing your oeuvre to something less bloody.
30:04Bloody.
30:06Do you think you can do that? Kill someone?
30:11In the heat of the moment, sure.
30:14We all have a kennel hiding within us.
30:17Jesus, you gave me a heart attack.
30:20Well, it could have been a lot worse.
30:21You should be in your room. Doors locked.
30:22Yeah, look who's talking.
30:24For 지금, we all have to train.
30:25desperate.
30:27I'm good for you.
30:28I'm not.
30:29I'm not.
30:30I'm not.
30:31I'm not.
30:32Now.
30:33I'm not.
30:34What the hell?
30:35I'm not.
30:36I'm not.
30:37No, I'm.
30:38You're not.
30:39No, no.
30:40This is not.
30:41No, no.
30:42No.
30:43No, no, no.
30:44No, no, no.
30:46Crow here thought he could walk 12-plus hours to get help.
30:56Come on, save your complex, this guy.
30:58I'm going to bed.
30:59Yeah, me too, I'm beat.
31:01And Cheryl's probably worried.
31:02Good night.
31:03And sleep with the angels.
31:13I trust that guy about as far as I can throw him.
31:17Who, that good old boy?
31:18And his machete.
31:19We're all carrying weapons.
31:21I get that.
31:24I'm a very good reader of people, Andy.
31:26And that guy, with his glaring eyes and his tough-guy stance.
31:31That guy's a killer.
31:33Trust me.
31:34Ultimately, he gives off weird vibes.
31:36But he could have killed us both out there if he wanted.
31:38Return back to the motel, no one the wiser.
31:41He's biding his time until he can pull off something Hemingway-level awful.
31:45And you know what that means.
31:49The rest of us, we have to stay on guard.
31:52We have to stick together.
31:53Lloyd.
32:03What are you doing out there?
32:20and in your outdoor things.
32:22Hope you wiped off all that mud.
32:24Cause if you damage any of the wood,
32:26you'll be charged for it.
32:36Our soul must be dispatched to hell.
32:38Not in the middle of the goddamn hallway, Floyd.
32:42I swear.
32:44Left to your own devices.
32:50Portia, sweetheart.
32:52Can we talk?
33:02I'm not the only one that said things she shouldn't have.
33:06I'm sorry for all of it.
33:08I'm sorry for all of it.
33:12I'm sorry for all of it.
33:16I'm sorry for all of it.
33:20Where's that?
33:23Left?
33:50Right?
33:52all the things she knows can be gone
33:54Stupid
33:58Stupid.
34:02Stupid's stupid.
34:06Idiot!
34:08stupid stupid idiot ah you did not drink viker phantom eat
34:17not stay here i cannot stay here cooped up
34:25tell me that wasn't amazing tell me that wasn't the hottest craziest sex you've ever had in your
34:35entire life that was something that was everything
34:42can you do the other hand i guess since you've been such a good boy
34:50thank you
34:54i'm free now here's a question that's definitely on my mind
35:01who do you think is going to bite the bullet next
35:03uh really rather not think about that you should because if we don't figure out who the killer is
35:13he or she will strike again and we want to make sure we're out of here safe before they call our
35:18number so what do you think it's gonna be i don't know oh i have a better question who do you want
35:26to be no one look i know after everything you've been through that life is precious
35:36and all that but come on you're human there's gotta be someone who you wish meets the chewing
35:43end of a chainsaw you could totally kill someone here and get away with it i mean you could just do
35:49and then blame the psycho murderer right so who would that be okay so for me i think it would be prissy page yeah i did kind of
35:59kind of like the first doom service and she was okay in it but if i'm honest each sequel was worse than the last and that was because of how
36:07grating she was always running and crying and being all self-righteous i mean it's boring
36:13and her sex scenes my god she screws like someone who's never seen a dick
36:18yeah yeah we kill her and then once we're out of here safe and sound we translate all the fame and
36:28fortune into another book for you an acting career for me i could play caitlin in the next doom service
36:35or actually no i should just play myself i'm more badass definitely sexier people would eat me up
36:40what do you think want to be famous
36:47that was messed up oh come on i'm just playing what if yeah about murdering an innocent woman who
36:56hasn't done a thing to you okay it doesn't have to be her we could save her for laughs
37:01yeah page's death would have to be poetic a has-been actor how do we kill them
37:09replace a prop knife for the real life oh no i know i know blake we cram all our bad reviews down her throats
37:19what blake i'm joking jesus
37:26are you yes oh blake jesus oh i'm not a monster i'm misunderstood
37:39that was fun
37:42pussy
37:50pussy
38:02pussy
38:04pussy
38:06pussy
38:10pussy
38:12pussy
38:14Oh
38:44Do we even need that? I mean, I can just set us up on a texting system instead
38:51It's the actual bell they had here the night of the murders
38:54Ah, you didn't tell me that
38:56No, because you'd get all freaked out
39:00We want you to be happy and enjoy what we're doing
39:04Because what we're doing, babe, is starting the next chapter of our lives together
39:10Together
39:12I would just enjoy the weekend so much more if our closest neighbors weren't hours away
39:16All the best horror takes place in isolation
39:19Evil Dead, Cabin in the Woods
39:21The Shining
39:22Wow
39:24The Portia I met and fell in love with would have thought The Shining was just some kind of yoga retreat
39:31Trust me
39:33This is good
39:35I trust you with my life
39:40I guess they're here
39:45Come here
39:48birds
39:49They're in the woods
39:50Oh
39:52Of course
39:53They said they were just likeiße
39:54You're on theалы
39:55Just the rain
39:57Ye're here
39:58You're here
39:59Come here
40:00They gave it up
40:01They gave me
40:02And they were just like this
40:04They gave it up
40:05They gave it up
40:06They gave it up
40:07They gave it up
40:08They gave it up
40:09And they gave it up
40:10They gave it up
40:11And they gave it up
40:11They gave it up
40:14Where should you hear that?
40:44It's raining like cats and dogs.
41:10There must be a week somewhere.
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