00:00I'm in love with a trans man.
00:02I didn't start dating guys until about five years
00:06into my transition.
00:07I've heard that, like, I'm the devil.
00:10I'm spitting image of him.
00:12People can have a different belief system than you.
00:15And that's just how it is.
00:16And you just got to accept it.
00:18Somebody said, why not just stay a female and date a male?
00:24What do you say to that?
00:26I'm LaDamian.
00:27I'm Trent.
00:28And we're married and happily in love.
00:32I'm in love with a trans man.
00:34I had never dated a trans man before Trent.
00:37So he's the first trans man I've ever been with.
00:40When we met, I had not fully transitioned.
00:42I was about halfway in the middle.
00:44I had my name changed.
00:45Mostly he had dated females.
00:47So this was, like, totally new for him.
00:50It was totally new for me.
00:51People can't understand why I transitioned to be a man
00:54to marry a man.
00:56So we actually met on Tinder.
00:58He swiped right on me.
01:00I don't think he read my bio for real.
01:02I had read his profile, so I knew that he was trans.
01:05But I didn't even know what that would look like for me.
01:10I'm glad, though.
01:11I'm glad I downloaded Tinder because I wasn't going to download it.
01:13I'm listening.
01:14I got my birth certificate changed with you.
01:16Yeah.
01:17My social changed.
01:18I got my top surgery changed with you.
01:19Yeah.
01:20Or changed.
01:21I got my top surgery with you.
01:22Yeah, it's a lot of monuments, I guess.
01:23I threw him a little surprise dinner and got a case made
01:26with his birth certificate on it because they changed his gender
01:29and his name on there.
01:30Damien backs me up on pretty much anything
01:33when it comes to my life, my transition.
01:35So we've been married for a year now, and we've been together
01:38going on four.
01:39So I didn't start dating guys until about five years
01:44into my transition.
01:45That's when I kind of started dealing with guys and going
01:48from there.
01:48But yeah, it was all female.
01:51We balance each other out.
01:52So there is no person who wears the pants over the other.
01:56In certain things, he's more masculine.
01:58And in certain areas, I'm more masculine.
02:00So we've definitely had some speed bumps when it comes to me
02:04being a trans man and him being a cis man because more so
02:07interpretation, like you said, in a sense of I might take
02:10something because I'm wired off emotion a certain way.
02:14And he's wired off logic.
02:16When you're gay and like in our community,
02:18it's just kind of hard to like find somebody who's actually
02:21willing and ready to do the work.
02:23Even if you don't know what it takes, you're willing to try to
02:25learn what it takes to be in a healthy relationship.
02:30At the beginning of my transition, when it came to my friends,
02:33there was 100% support.
02:34When it came to my family in regards to the transition, I can
02:38say my parents were a little bit not keen to it.
02:42You know, we didn't speak for a while on that.
02:44I feel like once I started posting like heavy on my TikTok,
02:48then more of the negative comments started to come in.
02:50I feel like when we came out as dating, I would get ridiculed from
02:54outsiders, insiders.
02:55However, I feel like it wasn't until we actually got married and I
02:59started posting more that they actually came out the woodworks with
03:03everything.
03:04Definitely, we get a lot of backlash in our own community as well as
03:09outsiders.
03:10Of course, outsiders, they don't get it in general.
03:12For one, I'm trans and then we're gay.
03:15You would think it's rocket science to them.
03:16The reaction is definitely 100% way worse online.
03:20Someone said, I guess he attracted to the feminine side of him.
03:24Wait, who's on top?
03:25And someone said, this made my stomach hurt.
03:28Somebody said, why not just stay a female and date a male?
03:34What do you say to that?
03:36People are dumb.
03:38He'll ignore it.
03:39I won't.
03:40I'm petty.
03:42So I fight back.
03:43He just kind of like ignore it, like whatever.
03:46It doesn't bother him.
03:46He's used to that.
03:47I'm not.
03:48When I was younger and I first started transitioning,
03:51I couldn't find people who look like me within the community.
03:54Yes, there were lots of like white trans presenting people,
03:58but even how I heal, you know, I'm going to heal differently
04:01than a white person.
04:03So I didn't have that much representation of people who
04:05look like me.
04:06Once I actually posted my top surgery results and everything,
04:10it's like, because I cried in the video as well.
04:13So people are like, oh, you're still a woman.
04:15You're just crying.
04:16I'm looked at as I'm mutilating my body.
04:19My scars is going to scare kids.
04:21And I've heard that like I'm the devil.
04:23Like I'm spitting image of him.
04:26Somebody said scary.
04:28It'd be a lot of just emoji comments as well.
04:30And they just be like the sad face emoji or the disgusted
04:33emojis.
04:34To be honest, half the comments, the grammar's off.
04:37So I can't even get past the first sentence.
04:39We can't even understand what you're saying.
04:41What?
04:42It definitely was a relief when I started transitioning.
04:44I was 18 when I just started my transition and it felt like
04:47I was a trans man.
04:49Honestly, I don't know how old I was in this picture,
04:51but no, look, this picture is my favorite picture.
04:53I had a little question mark ponytail.
04:57I used to have to fake these braids.
04:59My family used to make me get braids to be a little bit more
05:02feminine presenting.
05:04When I was about 18, the person I was dating at the time,
05:08they knew some trans people and things.
05:09And we kind of started hanging.
05:10I'm like, I started asking them about their lifestyle.
05:13Once I started doing research and everything,
05:14and I was like, oh, yeah.
05:16I didn't know there was a word for what I've been feeling.
05:18And that's how I actually got started.
05:20And I've just been there ever since.
05:22I've been happy as hell.
05:24I can't lie.
05:26I'm trying to sag and be some thug.
05:29With some girl clothes on looking like this.
05:31You can definitely tell I'm way more.
05:34I mean, I was definitely comfortable in this picture.
05:36My transition journey is complete.
05:38I don't want for bottom surgery at the moment.
05:41However, I got my top surgery.
05:43My name is changed.
05:45Pretty much everything aligns with Trent.
05:48So I don't really have anything else
05:50besides continuing my testosterone.
05:52And that's pretty much it.
05:54We are getting ready for church.
05:56We're about to get dressed.
05:58Usually I have him iron my clothes because I hate ironing.
06:02But we're out there today.
06:03Let him go wrinkle today.
06:06Got all our fine jewelry and stuff here.
06:10Louisiana is in the south.
06:11So it is pretty much a Bible Belt community.
06:15Louisiana really hasn't progressed a whole lot.
06:20Probably especially being in the LGBTQ community.
06:25We don't go to church every Sunday.
06:27But whenever we're together, we try to make sure we go.
06:30At the beginning of our relationship,
06:32I was a little standoffish when it came to religion.
06:35But I told him that and he was always there for me and still would educate me on things.
06:40We pray.
06:40We go to church.
06:41We try to, like you said, do better and live right how we should.
06:45Even though some people may try to stray us away or tell us.
06:49We're not living the right way is the way the people think.
06:53People can have a different belief system than you.
06:56And that's just how it is.
06:58And you just got to accept it.
07:00You know, it is what it is.
07:01But not everybody is going to practice the same religion and not everybody is going to abide by the next person's belief.
07:10I'm the type of person that I am.
07:13I'm going to let you be who you are and who you want to be.
07:17I would always make him feel comfortable in his body because I love his body.
07:23I'm always supporting him.
07:24And so if he wants to make a change, then I'm going to be with him on the journey to make the changes he wants to make.
07:29I love how he treats me.
07:31That's, like, I've never been with a person that has done and that treats me like he treats me.
07:40So what I want to say to anybody who has a problem with something that's a little different than what you're used to,
07:46you probably should be worried about yourself.
07:48Nothing's wrong with me loving my husband.
07:52If I didn't have him in my life, I genuinely don't know where I would be.
07:55I love you, honey.
07:56Love you, too.
07:59Love you, too.
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