- 3 months ago
Big Cat | Barstool Sports Advisors
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00:00Music
00:21So what's on your mind, Tommy? You've seemed a little stressed.
00:24It's a lot on my mind, Annika.
00:26I mean, first of all, the Lions have covered 15 of the last 18 road games,
00:30but the Packers cover 71% of the time in September.
00:33Wait, what the fuck are you talking about?
00:34Advisor stats.
00:36It's almost that time of the year again, but...
00:39I don't know. I don't know if my heart's still in it, guys.
00:41What do you mean? Are you hanging up the fedora?
00:44I don't know. I mean, listen.
00:46I've got a busy life right now.
00:48I'm busy on a reality show, being America's sweetheart.
00:51I'm basically an A-list actor.
00:53I'm about to go on tour for mascots for a month,
00:56do stand-up comedy for the first time, launch that career.
00:59I don't know if there's still room in my life for stats.
01:01You're the perfect stats guy you've done for the last seven years.
01:04And you look so hot in that outfit.
01:07Thank you. Yeah, I know.
01:08I mean, listen.
01:09Maybe one day I'll come back and don this fedora again,
01:13but...
01:15In the meantime,
01:17I think I've got the perfect replacement.
01:20Welcome to the Barstool Sports Advisory,
01:31America's premier sports information program
01:35with Dave Elprez Portnoy,
01:38Dan Big Cat Caps,
01:42and the source, Stu Finer.
01:54Barstool Sports Advisors,
01:56we are back, back, back, back, back, back!
01:59Back!
02:00Week one, and we've got a very special guest with us.
02:04El Presidente, Dave Portnoy.
02:06He's back with us for week one.
02:08I'm joined by Dave, Stu, Ashley.
02:12And wait a second.
02:14You're not Tommy.
02:16No, not Tommy.
02:17You're not Tommy.
02:18Jersey Jerry is here on the stats.
02:20Tommy RIP gone.
02:21Bye.
02:22See ya.
02:23Are you a mascot of Tommy,
02:25or you're really Jersey Jerry?
02:26Really Jersey Jerry.
02:27Really Jersey Jerry.
02:28Really him.
02:29Okay.
02:30It's him.
02:31And you'll be back here when Dave is not here.
02:32Dave.
02:33Yep.
02:34This is your first time on the advisor's desk in a while.
02:36How you feel?
02:37How's it going?
02:38Give us a lay of the land.
02:40Hank had to bribe me with Adderall to come on the set.
02:44I really didn't have any desire to do it, to be honest.
02:47I don't want to be Debbie Downer.
02:48No.
02:49But I'm out of this show.
02:50So I was surprised when I was asked to be in it.
02:53We miss you.
02:54Yeah.
02:55And it's your seat when you...
02:56The seat is always warm.
02:58Right.
02:59You are the show.
03:00You are the show.
03:01Even though you're not here.
03:02Even though you've, you know, onto bigger and greener pastures.
03:05So I took an extended release.
03:07Mm-hmm.
03:08I'm so tired that it's...
03:09My body is actually like repelling it.
03:11But I can feel the battle going on.
03:13So you're fighting.
03:14So it's a little mini Dave fighting against a little Adderall.
03:17Because I don't take Adderall anymore.
03:19Right.
03:20So then it should actually pop you.
03:21Yeah, I stopped doing Adderall.
03:22You should be...
03:23I'm proud of you.
03:24Noah, that's amazing.
03:25God bless you.
03:26Did you go to rehab?
03:27No, I just...
03:28Play it, Dave.
03:29I was getting a little more sleep.
03:30But now, whatever.
03:32So Hank gave me...
03:33He said he'd give me 50.
03:34He gave me six.
03:35So here I am.
03:37Okay.
03:38He said you'd give me 50.
03:39Year eight.
03:40Season one.
03:41It's an honor, Dave.
03:42It's great.
03:43You had a vision in 2017.
03:45You wanted to bring back the show.
03:47It's been one of your biggest successes.
03:49Like everything you touch turns to golden life.
03:51And just from the bottom of my heart, I just want to say thank you.
03:54Thank you, Steve.
03:55Because you really...
03:56You ingratiated me onto multi-millions of...
03:59Dan was...
04:00You know, 18 to 30 year olds.
04:01So thank you.
04:02Dan was what?
04:0315 minutes late.
04:0410 minutes late, yeah.
04:05So me and Stu were just sitting at the desk for 10 minutes by ourselves.
04:08Listen.
04:09Uh, I apologize.
04:19I didn't annoy you to death right now.
04:21I held back.
04:22We had to tape everything.
04:23I held back.
04:24Listen.
04:25I had so much more.
04:26I'm not going to point fingers, but I'll...
04:27I don't even play poker and they...
04:28I have to go play poker tonight.
04:29We had to fit everything into the morning before we leave.
04:34I'm just saying, it was me and Stu alone at the desk.
04:36I apologize.
04:37I actually...
04:38I was trying to hold back.
04:39Hold on, Stu.
04:40From the bottom of my heart, I don't wish that on any...
04:42My worst enemy.
04:43Yes.
04:44So I apologize.
04:45Can I say something to you?
04:46Yes, yes.
04:47I love you.
04:48You have to cover the boss's ass.
04:49Yeah.
04:50He's playing Nate.
04:51Who?
04:52Nate, I love you.
04:53Tomorrow, that's tomorrow.
04:54Right.
04:55But that scumbag cannot beat him.
04:56So what I told Jersey Jerry.
04:57Mm-hmm.
04:58Slip something in his drink.
04:59Either to make him have diarrhea or to make him have...
05:00Wait, what was that?
05:01What was that?
05:02You have to slip something in his drink.
05:03What was the word?
05:04Slip.
05:05Hold on, hold on.
05:06Hold on, hold on.
05:07What is it?
05:09Somebody's mic's got myself thrown away.
05:12Oh, no.
05:13Oh, God.
05:14Oh, no.
05:16Is this a bit that we have going on?
05:18No.
05:19Oh, no.
05:20Oh, no.
05:21Oh, no.
05:22Oh, there's no bit.
05:23Sorry.
05:24You've had enough of me already and the show hasn't even started.
05:27I mean, I'm on eggshells right now.
05:29He's trying to tell me, Stu, that he's basically on the announcer's panel for the Ryder Cup.
05:35Mm-hmm.
05:36Yeah.
05:37Keep all this in if we can keep it in.
05:38Wait a second.
05:39Can we just...
05:40No.
05:41Jon Hamm has to die first.
05:42No, no, no.
05:43There is a hype video, a voiceover that they do at every major sporting event.
05:49You've seen it a million times.
05:51Tom Brady's done it.
05:52So Jon Hamm has been asked by the Ryder Cup to do it.
05:56If he says no, I'm doing it.
05:58That's what we got.
05:59We got a Nancy Kerrigan, Jeff Gulley, whatever.
06:03Well, because of the names you've said.
06:05Tom Brady, Jon Hamm.
06:07Like, it's the guy from Star Wars.
06:11It's very famous people.
06:14Stu, listen.
06:15I might be a D minus personality, but to a lot of people, I'm even bigger than you.
06:19I'm A plus plus.
06:20Stu, you...
06:22But just, I would never voice over one of those things.
06:27Like, these are...
06:28It's James Earl Jones.
06:31It's...
06:32I'm in that category.
06:33Are we fine or are we not?
06:35God, I was so nervous.
06:36I said something that made us cut.
06:38I swear to God.
06:39I almost fainted right now.
06:411, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
06:45Stu, one more time.
06:4610, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 15, 15, 30.
06:50Ashley?
06:511, 2, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
06:53Good.
06:54All right.
06:55Here we go.
06:57Stu, what did you just say?
06:58Um, if I was Dave's right-hand man or working in the company, barring breaking his leg, which
07:10is what I would do because that's how I work.
07:12Yeah.
07:13Um, you have to slip something in his drink.
07:14Make him have diarrhea.
07:15Make him have a headache.
07:16Make his eyes flurry.
07:18Or literally, you know, knock him out.
07:21He can't beat Dave.
07:22No matter what.
07:23I...
07:24Um, no.
07:25We're gonna play straight up.
07:26I...
07:27We've been talking about this poker match for years.
07:29So, uh, we're gonna play straight up.
07:31Give him hell, Dave.
07:33All right.
07:34That's like...
07:35That's like having, like, a making love contest.
07:37Nate and you.
07:38You're one million.
07:39Nate is a zero.
07:40He's a professional poker player.
07:41I don't think it's fair.
07:43Nate is a professional poker player?
07:44That's news to me.
07:45Yeah, he's a...
07:46He is a professional...
07:47Listen, he might suck, but he's a professional.
07:48Self-proclaimed?
07:49No, no.
07:50What does that mean?
07:51He's a pro.
07:52He's a pro player.
07:53No, I don't think you can just say you're a pro poker player.
07:54He's a pro player.
07:55I think you have to, like, make it a lot.
07:56He's an elite player.
07:57Why?
07:58Why?
07:59Because he can read cards.
08:00He can read people.
08:01According to who?
08:02He's been...
08:03Nate has no chance to read Nate.
08:04He's been playing for a decade.
08:06And he still works for us because, trust me, if Nate made enough money professionally
08:11playing poker, he would not be Barstow's whipping boy.
08:14He would be long gone.
08:16The guy hasn't rubbed two nickels together playing poker.
08:18Just because you play poker doesn't make you a pro poker player.
08:22Well, I would say compared to the competition, he's...
08:24Why?
08:25He's the best there.
08:26Who's smarter?
08:27Me and Nate.
08:28Dave.
08:29That's not even a question.
08:30But who's a better poker player, Nate?
08:32100 out of 100.
08:33Why?
08:34Because he is.
08:35He does it for a living.
08:36He plays...
08:37He doesn't do it for a living.
08:39He doesn't have any hobbies.
08:40He has no hobbies.
08:41He works for Barstow.
08:42That's his living.
08:43That's...
08:44But he has no hobbies.
08:45Poker's his hobby.
08:46He's very good.
08:47He's a hobbyist.
08:48No, he's very good.
08:49He's a poker hobbyist.
08:50My son has played poker with him in Vegas.
08:51He's good.
08:52Okay.
08:53He's good.
08:54Now, they're not Phil Ivey good.
08:55Okay.
08:56Again, it's the losers and dorks who have no lives who play.
09:00Like, Mincy is some genius.
09:01He's a good poker player.
09:02He actually is, actually.
09:03No, he is.
09:04He's...
09:05Numbers, he's a weirdo.
09:06He's almost autistic smart.
09:07Yeah, yeah.
09:08All right.
09:09Okay.
09:10Well, either way, we got Dave back.
09:11Let's use Dave.
09:12Let's win some games.
09:13I don't want to piss him off, although I have.
09:14Let's have a great time.
09:15Let's win some games.
09:16It's a pick show.
09:17Dave, are you ready for the NFL season?
09:19Are you ready to gamble on the NFL?
09:20You have a lot of work this football season.
09:22Yeah.
09:23I'm ready.
09:24Are you feeling it?
09:25Are you ready to go?
09:26Yeah, I'm feeling it.
09:27I've been making my bones with the Red Sox lately in baseball, to be honest.
09:30So, you've been winning money that way.
09:31Yeah, they've been good to me lately.
09:33But, yeah, I'm ready to go.
09:34Obviously, it's football season.
09:35Love betting on football.
09:36All right.
09:37Let's go, then.
09:38Barstool Sports Advisors.
09:39Week one.
09:40Let's get into the card.
09:41We have a Friday night kickoff in Brazil.
09:46Chiefs at Chargers.
09:47I thought the season started Thursday.
09:49It does start Thursday.
09:50There's an extra game on Friday.
09:51Yeah.
09:52So, we're going to actually air Barstool Sports Advisors a couple hours early on Friday
09:56so people can watch this.
09:57This game is in Brazil.
09:58Chiefs at Chargers.
09:59I understood that.
10:00Oh, I'm sorry.
10:01David.
10:02Chiefs minus three.
10:03Over-unders 45 and a half.
10:05The game's being played in Brazil.
10:07Ashley, do you have weather for us in Brazil?
10:10I do have the weather.
10:11It's going to be 60 degrees and cloudy.
10:13Okay.
10:14Okay.
10:15Jerry, stats.
10:16Yeah, I got a couple here.
10:18I got a couple here.
10:19Since 2000, teams that lost last year's Super Bowl are six and 19 against the spread in
10:26week one.
10:27And I'll say this.
10:28Big night in Brazil.
10:29Big night in front of a huge audience.
10:32These after dark shows are a huge success.
10:35If I was Justin Herbert, I'd ask for a big raise and then I'd never do late night again.
10:40Hmm.
10:42That happened.
10:43Remember?
10:45Yes.
10:46Jerry.
10:47Yeah.
10:48Yeah.
10:49Big raise.
10:50Then took it away.
10:51Yeah.
10:52Yeah.
10:53But you're here now.
10:54But I'm here now.
10:55Yeah.
10:56Got a couple things I'm working on.
10:57Oh, okay.
10:58We'll get to that later.
10:59Okay.
11:00A couple things.
11:01I told him he should throw his kid up for adoption.
11:03Why?
11:04Ruining his life.
11:05Which one?
11:06He's got two now.
11:07The new kid.
11:08The new kid?
11:09Yes.
11:10It's over.
11:11Maybe before the new kid's smell wears off.
11:12Throw it up.
11:13The new kid will have no idea.
11:14That's a good point.
11:15That's a good point.
11:16That's a good point.
11:17He wouldn't be like.
11:18I still got the heart to do it.
11:19I would have done it.
11:20How old is she?
11:21Two weeks.
11:22You got like maybe another month and a half before you start.
11:25Sender.
11:26Oh.
11:27I mean.
11:28Sender.
11:29I'm getting close.
11:30This is dark here.
11:31I mean, we're going dark.
11:32Sender.
11:33You were yelling at me about you and Nate.
11:35I mean, that was dark.
11:36You told him to sell his kid, Dave.
11:38Not sell.
11:39Did you really lose your raise?
11:41No.
11:42Oh.
11:43So what are we talking about?
11:44I'd lose my house if I lost my raise.
11:45Oh, fair enough.
11:46Yeah.
11:47No, the reason he got the raise, that disappeared.
11:49Yes.
11:50He got, he did Barstool after dark, got a raise and then said, I'm not doing Barstool after
11:54dark anymore.
11:55Comment.
11:56That was premeditated.
11:57Yes.
11:58Yes.
11:59He said he's going to build up Barstool after dark, get a raise and then stop doing it.
12:03Yeah.
12:04Comment.
12:05He played you.
12:06Yeah.
12:07Can I explain something to you?
12:08If he can play, you know what Nate's going to do?
12:09He's going to murder you.
12:11Cancel the Nate thing.
12:12I don't want to see it happen.
12:14I would never want him to be embarrassed.
12:16If he folds, this is one of the worst folds I've ever seen in my life.
12:20Oh.
12:21That's the worst.
12:22How?
12:23How do you?
12:25And Dave takes the lead.
12:27There's just no reason for me to gamble here.
12:29Oh, dude.
12:30That's what, we're here to gamble.
12:32Boom.
12:33Again.
12:34He could have won and he just throws away a winner.
12:37Again.
12:38You would have won.
12:39A dominant performance by Dave Portnoy.
12:43Ugh.
12:45Just crushes Barstool Nate.
12:48Nate.
12:49Throw the fucking game or I'll beat your fucking face in and you're never going to Fort Charles.
12:54Never, Nate.
12:55Okay.
12:56Never.
12:57You're never going.
12:58Pick.
12:59Gabe.
13:00I do think the Chiefs, that's that of Super Bowl losers coming off.
13:05I also think, maybe I'm overblowing it.
13:08I'm a Swifty.
13:09Everybody knows that.
13:10It's just a lot of hoopla.
13:11And Kelsey's old, but there's just a lot of hoopla surrounding that team.
13:14Harbaugh is probably hard at work.
13:17I'll take the Chargers here.
13:19I'll take the points.
13:20I think this is a close game.
13:22And I do think the Chiefs are going to regress.
13:24Almost like the Patriots dynasty.
13:27There were two eras of it.
13:29They won a bunch of Super Bowls, were okay for a while, came back.
13:33I think it's time for the Chiefs.
13:34I mean, they still have Mahomes, so they're always the threat.
13:36But they're going to have to rejigger, re-get new players and have a new dynasty appear to complete.
13:41But I think this version of the Chiefs are done for a while.
13:44I'll take the Chargers.
13:45Okay.
13:46Stewart.
13:47I think Chargers are going to be a surprise team in the NFL.
13:49I think Coach did a great job last year in his first year with them.
13:54They got an embarrassing playoff game.
13:57I think this game could be a route.
13:59For the Chargers.
14:00I think Chargers are going to run the ball down their throat.
14:02It could be a dominating route.
14:04And I hate to do this because I'm going to sell this game on Friday night for a lot of money.
14:07And I've just given it for free.
14:09So I'm in a box.
14:10I've done a quandary.
14:11But for the integrity of this show and the integrity of you being here with everything you've got going on.
14:18You're being pulled in a hundred directions.
14:20I have to just give my best because you are the best.
14:25Thanks, Stu.
14:26Love the Chargers in this game.
14:27Listen, boys.
14:28Love them.
14:29And I love Brazilians, by the way.
14:31Yeah.
14:32I love the Brazilians.
14:33Shout out Brazil.
14:35Woo!
14:37Be careful, Stu.
14:38That's how Jerry ended up with a second baby little penis.
14:41Yep.
14:42He loves a penis.
14:43You don't pull out.
14:44Now he has two babies and his life's ruined.
14:45Well, I mean, push comes to trouble.
14:46We're talking now.
14:47I love Irish Catholic.
14:48Okay.
14:49That's how I roll.
14:50That's a wild one.
14:51The only people you trust in the world are Irish Catholics.
14:52You're like a good, like, married, pink, Aaron.
14:54Shut up, Sandy!
14:55I got you back, Sandy.
14:56I have no prenup.
14:57I got you back.
14:58Boys, this is an earthquake.
15:04Stu?
15:05No.
15:06Dave said no.
15:07So, everyone would have to tune into season eight, week two, to see anything broken.
15:12Okay.
15:13He asked.
15:14He asked.
15:15I said, you do you.
15:16He's like, well...
15:17No, no, no.
15:18I have respect for you.
15:19I barely see you.
15:20You know, how many times does somebody have to break something?
15:21Exactly.
15:22It's stupid.
15:23Let's stop.
15:24We're above that.
15:25All right.
15:26So, I have the Chargers as well.
15:27I just think the division game, plus three.
15:28I hate these Brazil games.
15:29I hate any game that's played abroad, but we've got to bet it because it's a Friday night game.
15:32All right, next up.
15:33Also, I mean, the quarterback's having a hot, right?
15:35He's having a hot off season.
15:36Madison Beer.
15:37Very pretty.
15:38Madison Beer.
15:39All right.
15:40Bucks minus two and a half at Falcons.
15:42Anytime TD score.
15:43Love it.
15:44You want to add it to the card?
15:45No.
15:46Add to the card.
15:47But it's on here.
15:48This is the DraftKings.
15:49I'm trying to help our boys.
15:50They love the TD scores.
15:51And I bet on Lad a lot last year for TD scores.
15:53He's very good.
15:54Yes.
15:55I just want to agree with you about your Pick'Em show and this show.
16:00Whatever the games are, we live and die with them.
16:02And that's it.
16:03I don't care if he bets a million on a game and his integrity's on the line and his heart's
16:07on the line and he's the nicest guy in the world in a really rough business.
16:11You're fucked.
16:12It's gotten away from him a little bit.
16:14Nope.
16:15What do you mean?
16:16I am the only person on this show on Pick'Em that gambles on every single pick he gives
16:30out.
16:31That is a fact.
16:32I am the last true honest gambler out there.
16:35That's all I'm going to say.
16:36You see all the ads?
16:37I bet them all.
16:38The rest of these guys, they give you picks and they don't fucking touch it.
16:41Okay?
16:42Well, that's what I'm going to say.
16:44I have to.
16:45I have 10,000 to 200,000.
16:46You don't bet games.
16:47You don't bet every game you give out.
16:49You don't bet games.
16:50My cost of his money is on the line and I get paid for the game.
16:53That's betting.
16:54I have like a 20, 25 game card.
16:56Hank, your fly is down.
16:57It's distracting.
16:59And I bet 100 grand a game.
17:01Congrats on the game.
17:02I understand.
17:03I have a hard time.
17:04I need 100 million in my account to bet all those games.
17:08The point remains.
17:09I'm betting as many of my games as I can.
17:10When I say a pick, like I don't have a really strong opinion about the Chargers game.
17:14I gave you Chargers plus three.
17:16I will bet on that game.
17:18I will not just pass.
17:19Well, yeah.
17:20But no, that's...
17:21We'll get into it in the other show.
17:22No.
17:23No, but that's what I do.
17:24I bet every single game.
17:25Friday night if something Brazilian flies up your ass, then you're going to be on the Chiefs.
17:29And there's points.
17:30But if I flip, I say I flip.
17:32No.
17:33No.
17:34But then people have watched this show.
17:35No.
17:36The big difference is I don't fucking bet against the pick that I'm giving out.
17:39If I have to flip, I will let you know that I'm flipping.
17:42You're never wrong, but you're wrong.
17:44They're going to flip.
17:45You can't flip.
17:46Then you lose a lot of VIG.
17:47Okay.
17:48All right.
17:49Fine.
17:50Fine.
17:51What you guys want me to do, and what Stu actually said that I should do last night when
17:54you were in the game.
17:55Yes.
17:56I said it.
17:57Is give out a pick and just bet against it.
17:58Who cares?
17:59No.
18:00I'd never do that to people.
18:01But...
18:02I would never do that to people.
18:03That's the point.
18:04I would never bet against a pick I gave out.
18:06No, but no.
18:07I will tell you that I flipped.
18:08No, but no.
18:09That's the honest opinion.
18:10But if I'm...
18:11I know.
18:12I'm not going to do that to the people.
18:13No, you'll bet the game.
18:14If I'm following...
18:15If you don't like...
18:16I have to bet the game.
18:17I have to bet the game.
18:18You have to bet every game.
18:19If I'm following your picks, and I bet a hundred grand, and you flip, and I flip,
18:23I just lost ten grand.
18:25I...
18:26Do you think anyone's betting a hundred grand?
18:27I'm just saying, but it's all for the units.
18:29Yes, but I would...
18:30If you're following my pick, I'm not going to just bet against myself.
18:33I'm not going to give out the chargers, and then be like, you know what?
18:36I don't like the chargers.
18:37I'm going to bet the Chiefs.
18:38I would not do that to people.
18:39I have...
18:40Well, this is a pick of hypotheses, but I just don't think you'd take enough time
18:45before pick them to look at the whole card.
18:47We do the show on fucking Wednesday morning.
18:50I don't like the whole thing.
18:51That's a theory.
18:52I also got a million shows I'm doing.
18:53That's just a theory.
18:54Yeah.
18:55Then the ads come late.
18:56It's a different show.
18:57I don't like gambling.
18:58I don't like doing this show on Wednesday either, because it's too early.
19:01I used this argument year one and year two of sports devices, and Dave said, well,
19:06if you feel like that, then don't go.
19:08I like to gamble.
19:09And I conformed.
19:10I like to gamble.
19:11I conformed.
19:1230 minutes before kickoff.
19:14That's what I like to do.
19:15I like to do.
19:16I like to do that.
19:17That's exactly what I like to do.
19:18I've always been that way.
19:19All right.
19:20Bucs, Falcons.
19:21Falcons, plus two and a half.
19:22At home, over-unders, 47 and a half.
19:24I'm high on the Bucs this year.
19:25I'm very high on the Bucs this year.
19:27I think Baker, maybe MVP.
19:29Wow.
19:30I kind of like Bucs, 25 to 1, Super Bowl, long shot.
19:34If you're looking for a long shot.
19:35I'll start here, boys.
19:37I'm going to take the Bucs in this game.
19:39I think there's just enough offense continuity.
19:42I know they lost Duval guy to the Jaguars, but Baker's a dog.
19:47Michael Penix, I don't really trust him yet.
19:50I'm taking the Bucs.
19:51Dave, what do you got?
19:53I have no stats to back this up.
19:56I feel like the Bucs struggle at Atlanta.
19:59I'm taking the Falcons.
20:00This is just going strictly.
20:01Last year, the overtime game, Kirk Cousins.
20:04I could be totally wrong.
20:05I just feel like the Bucs in a dome, I don't like it.
20:08Okay.
20:09I'm taking the Falcons.
20:10This is all memory that could, at this point, maybe it's all wrong,
20:14but that's, I don't see that helmet playing well in a dome.
20:18No, last year, Kirk Cousins had through for like 550 yards against the Bucs.
20:22I don't see him playing well at the Saints.
20:24I don't see him in my head playing well at Atlanta.
20:27I'm taking the Falcons.
20:28Still.
20:29I do think Penix is good.
20:30Where's the Adderall right now?
20:32Is it kicked?
20:33I took extended release.
20:34No, has it kicked in?
20:35I feel it.
20:36Okay, good.
20:37I was up at five in the morning.
20:39I feel it.
20:40Okay, I was on the treadmill at five.
20:41Wow.
20:42I was praying for you.
20:43Congratulations.
20:44You did a show, by the way, which you did fabulous.
20:45You wouldn't say we did shitty if we did do shitty.
20:48I would say you did shitty because I would want to bump one of the people on it for
20:53a spot.
20:54Well, yeah, you'll do that week two.
20:55Week one, you were always going to say you did great.
20:57No, no, no.
20:58Listen, it's extremely hard to do a two-hour show.
21:00It wasn't.
21:01I've done two-hour shows my whole life.
21:02It wasn't.
21:03We don't do commercial breaks, so it's a whole new thing.
21:05It's easy.
21:06Hard to do a two-hour show with no commercial breaks.
21:07Everything for you is easy.
21:08We do.
21:09Everything for you is easy.
21:10Oh, it was quick.
21:11It went quick.
21:12For some reason, the shops and the public are on Atlanta in this game.
21:18And it makes no sense to me because I analyze the game just like you.
21:21I think Tampa Bay is going to blow them out.
21:23I think Tampa Bay is much better.
21:25I don't like Penix.
21:26I don't like Atlanta.
21:28Anything about them.
21:29And early in the season, I'm going to lay this small number on the road,
21:33and I think Tampa wins by, you know, 14.
21:35Can anyone look up my stats?
21:36I'm trying to see if I'm right.
21:37About Tampa in Atlanta?
21:39Well, that's the Jersey Jerry.
21:41I got a good stat.
21:42I mean, it's not really.
21:44Does it pertain to the history of Tampa Bay playing against Atlanta?
21:48No.
21:49It's different.
21:50Well, I mean, if you're sitting in that spot, I would say that.
21:52We're going to find that stat.
21:53Ashley.
21:54What?
21:5510 and 12 all time.
21:56Tampa is.
21:57All time.
21:58That doesn't do much for my.
21:59No.
22:00Nothing, really.
22:01No.
22:02Last year.
22:03You were right.
22:04You just weren't.
22:05You were right.
22:06They don't play well.
22:0710 and 12.
22:08You lose money.
22:09Uh, it's in a dome.
22:11How was your off season?
22:12Good?
22:13Oh, it was well done.
22:14You know, I went out with the pals, had some vodka crayons with the pals.
22:18Wait, what?
22:19With my friends, my off season.
22:20Vodka crayons.
22:21But I was also thinking about clouds and sunshine and precipitation too, though.
22:25Okay.
22:26Nice.
22:27Wild.
22:28Nice.
22:29Urology.
22:30Yeah.
22:31One divisional home underdogs are 18 and four against the spread since 2012.
22:36Is that the whole stat?
22:38It's a good stat.
22:39Okay.
22:40Nothing else?
22:41Yeah.
22:42I don't want to say it, though.
22:43Okay.
22:44What?
22:45It's about me?
22:46Mm-mm.
22:47Say it!
22:48Say it!
22:49Seems like everybody's taking the bucks.
22:52I get it, but there's no way to guarantee a win with anything unless you demand that
22:59movie be a part of it and ruin the integrity of the game.
23:02It wasn't bad.
23:04That was a funny joke.
23:06Yeah.
23:07That was a funny joke.
23:08Yeah.
23:09I don't care about it.
23:10I didn't think it was funny.
23:11I'm not being like...
23:12I didn't think it was funny either, Dave.
23:13I'm not being like a jerk.
23:14Like, oh, you made a movie.
23:15Like, I just didn't think it was funny.
23:16I didn't think so.
23:17That's why I didn't want to say it.
23:18Yeah.
23:19I left that one out.
23:20The next one is good.
23:21Okay.
23:22The next one is good.
23:23But the next one is going to get me fired.
23:24Okay.
23:25Steelers and Jets.
23:26Steelers and Jets.
23:27Jets are plus three, over under 38 and a half.
23:29Go ahead, Jerry.
23:30Yeah.
23:31All right.
23:32This is the one that's going to get me fired.
23:33TJ Watt.
23:34Who is this kid laughing hysterically?
23:36The young kid over here.
23:37I don't know.
23:38What?
23:39Does he know the joke?
23:40No.
23:41No.
23:42Nobody knows the joke.
23:43Okay.
23:44He was laughing a little too hard for my liking.
23:45Okay.
23:46TJ Watt.
23:47I can't.
23:48I can't.
23:49TJ Watt had the most strip sacks last year with six force fumbles.
23:54You don't have to watch a Theo Vaughn podcast to learn about that fact about the strip.
23:59Right, Dave?
24:01Delivery was a little clunky there.
24:04But, uh.
24:05Gaza Strip.
24:06Yeah.
24:07This is a Gaza Strip joke.
24:08Got it.
24:09That was a chicken fry joke.
24:10Yeah.
24:11Disguised, wrapped up.
24:12But it was a, yeah, yeah, it was a, it was a chicken fry joke, I think.
24:18Yeah.
24:19But, uh.
24:20Israel versus Palestine.
24:21Correct.
24:22Mm-hmm.
24:23Because chicken fries said she washed the Theo Vaughn.
24:25Yeah, exactly.
24:26Yeah.
24:27But I'm not, I'm either pro Jerusalem or pro.
24:30Who's writing these jokes?
24:31Because those two haven't been great.
24:33The worst.
24:34No, no.
24:35Forget about great.
24:36Forget about the worst.
24:37Yeah, those.
24:38Jerry, what do you think about this game, Jet Steelers?
24:40Oh, listen.
24:41Um.
24:42This is, this is easy.
24:43I mean, you could take this to the bank.
24:44The Steelers last four week one games, they're 4-0 straight up and against the spread.
24:48Okay.
24:49Week one.
24:50No brainer.
24:51Aaron Rodgers going to the Jets.
24:54Who's the quarterback for the Jets?
24:55Uh.
24:56Justin Fields.
24:57Sucks, Dave.
24:58So does Rodgers.
24:59No, he doesn't.
25:00Yes, he does.
25:01Rodgers is horrible.
25:02Yes, he does.
25:03I think the Jets are going to win this game.
25:05I think the Jets are going to win this game, too.
25:07I really, I'm surprised the Steelers waited and kind of let Rodgers dictate their off season.
25:14Maybe we're wrong.
25:15Maybe we'll see, see the Aaron Rodgers of old.
25:17I think that guy is long gone.
25:19He's, you know, doing the drugs and whatever he did, the hospital loss and the, whatever he's
25:23doing.
25:24He's married.
25:25Is he married?
25:26Have we seen his?
25:27He said he was married.
25:28We haven't seen.
25:29We haven't seen.
25:30There's just a lot going on there.
25:31I think the Jets is kind of a revenge game.
25:33They probably all hate his guts.
25:34Yeah.
25:35I'm surprised the Steelers took this quarterback for such a kind of proud franchise.
25:40I'm going to take the Jets here.
25:41Okay.
25:42I agree.
25:43I'm taking the Jets plus three.
25:44Wow.
25:45Sorry, Jerry.
25:46No, it's okay.
25:47I didn't expect it.
25:48I just don't think he's focused on football.
25:49It's not what the locker room says.
25:50It's not what the coaches say.
25:51I also just think, like, are the Steelers going to run the ball?
25:54Do they have an offensive line to run the ball?
25:56Their offensive line got a lot better.
25:57Okay.
25:58They did.
25:59Okay.
26:00Defense, they added Jalen Ramsey.
26:01Okay.
26:02I mean, he's really good still.
26:03Yeah, but they got rid of...
26:04Minka.
26:05Yeah, who might have been the problem.
26:06He sucked.
26:07Okay, yeah.
26:08His last two years were terrible.
26:09Yeah.
26:10Stu, you got a pick?
26:11I'm so happy Aaron Rodgers is not on the Jets.
26:14Because now, as a Jet fan, I can, like Aaron Rodgers' mother, father, brother, sister, entire
26:22family, hate him again.
26:24I hate you, Aaron Rodgers.
26:25I always have.
26:27I always will.
26:29And I'm so going to enjoy your last year in the NFL being a dud.
26:34You're going to ruin the Steelers' playoff string.
26:37You're not making the playoffs.
26:39I would say your team this year, 7-10 at best, and they get blown out at MetLife Stadium.
26:46Mason Rudolph.
26:47Mason Rudolph.
26:48Blown out!
26:49Very huge.
26:50And Will Howard.
26:51Will Howard, too, is on the team.
26:52You like him, Dave?
26:53Will Howard, yeah.
26:54Met Will Howard.
26:55He took a joke nicely.
26:56Yeah, he did.
26:57I like him, too.
26:58He did.
26:59This is all J-E-T-S.
27:00Jets.
27:01Jets.
27:02Jets.
27:03Ashley, weather.
27:04In New York, it's going to be 71 degrees and partly cloudy.
27:06Okay.
27:07That's another earthquake, by the way.
27:08Oh, yeah, it is.
27:09All right, will we come back?
27:14No, we're not breaking anything.
27:15We're not.
27:16Oh!
27:17Oh, my God.
27:18No, Dave said no, and I'm, we're not.
27:22Credit to you, you didn't break anything.
27:23We're just not.
27:24We're not breaking anything.
27:25All right, when we come back, we will do the last two games, and then our mortals, back
27:30right after this, Barstool Sports.
27:32I'm just cutting him.
27:33Nothing.
27:34Nothing.
27:35Literally nothing.
27:36Nothing.
27:37But he's...
27:38Jacob, shout out Jacob.
27:39You have insurance.
27:40Because I checked that day one.
27:41You have great insurance.
27:42If I slice Hank's ear off, you're covered.
27:44Jacob's in the, in the Pasoli camp, where it's like, my health is not important.
27:49He's the one, he's a ride or die soldier.
27:51Got it.
27:52Love you.
27:53May God be with you.
27:54God bless you.
27:55I'll put you in my will.
27:56Jacob would actually want to get hurt, just so he could be like, I don't care.
28:01We're back.
28:02We're back.
28:03We're back.
28:04We're back.
28:05We're back.
28:06We're back.
28:07Season eight.
28:08Week one.
28:09And I'm firing as hard as I've ever fired in my life.
28:13Three best bets.
28:14Three best bets.
28:15Three best bets.
28:16Three best bets.
28:17Three best bets.
28:18$69.
28:19Favorite number.
28:20Favorite position.
28:21And I love these games.
28:22I absolutely love them.
28:24Responsibly for everything you own.
28:26Go three and oh.
28:27Three and oh, three and oh.
28:28Three best bets.
28:29Only $69.
28:30StuFinder.com.
28:31StuFinder.com.
28:32StuFinder.com.
28:33StuFinder.com.
28:34All right.
28:35So who are you guys?
28:36Well, I am Henry Houlihan.
28:37Three best bets, only $69, stewfighter.com, stewfighter.com, stewfighter.com.
28:50All right, so who are you guys?
28:52Well, I am Henry Houlihan, and my name is Marlon Nerfee.
28:55I really wish I had the alliteration like you do.
28:57But anyway, we are off-off-Broadway actors.
29:07Dustin.
29:15Who's Dustin?
29:15I guess he wants to make, like, a documentary film about us.
29:19I'm sorry, but you fucking suck at this job.
29:22Man, I came here to, you know, hopefully save my grades by getting, like, some celebrity cameos.
29:28But it's like, at this point, it's like, I don't even know if I can use any of this, man.
29:31I brought you here in a false pre-sentence, but there is a story here.
29:34There's a story with the two of us.
29:35You can see that.
29:37So what's, like, the, uh, what's the big plan?
29:40What's the big, uh, dream scenario?
29:43We've poured our being into a little old play.
29:45Oh, please, Henry.
29:47Would you call this misery balls, a little old play?
29:49It's our magnum opus.
29:54And what's holding you back?
29:56Since we've clearly established there's no lack of talent.
29:59Barstool Sports Advisors, we are back.
30:18We've got two more games.
30:19Lions at Packers.
30:21Lions at Packers.
30:22Packers minus two and a half.
30:23Micah Parsons now a Packer.
30:25That's a problem.
30:26Over-under is 46 and a half.
30:28Lions lost both coordinators.
30:32Defense, obviously, injured down the stretch.
30:34They get healthy going into the new season.
30:37This is going to be a tough game.
30:38Jerry, your stat.
30:39Jared Goff, 8-0 against the spread in week one in his career.
30:44Whoa.
30:45Any joke?
30:46Never lost.
30:46No joke for that one.
30:47Nope.
30:48That's a great stat.
30:49Nothing.
30:49Really, nothing for that.
30:50Nice job.
30:51Never lost.
30:51Nice job, JJ.
30:52I don't have a stat.
30:53Nice job.
30:54I don't.
30:54That one, I don't.
30:55I didn't.
30:55I didn't even write it down.
30:57I promise.
30:57Next.
30:57All right.
30:58Say something.
30:59Stop.
30:59I don't have to.
31:00There's no joke for that one.
31:01Well, make a joke.
31:02There's no joke.
31:02We go to Plains, guys.
31:04Give us the joke.
31:04There's no joke.
31:05All right.
31:05All right.
31:06Ashley, what's in Green Bay?
31:08It will be 61 degrees and partly cloudy.
31:10Okay.
31:11Boys, let's talk about this game.
31:13Great game.
31:14Unbelievable.
31:15Great game.
31:16Unbelievable.
31:17What's going to be your setup for Sundays in the cave?
31:20Are you coming for the whole Sunday?
31:21Are you coming for one?
31:22Yeah, I haven't decided yet.
31:24The cave, it's too close on my eyes, so I got to get a back row seat.
31:29I also get claustrophobic and feel gross in there, but we'll see.
31:33We'll play it by ear.
31:34It's a tight cave.
31:36It is a tight cave.
31:38I like the Lions here on the road.
31:41The Lions, I think, have a bounce back year.
31:42I don't care about the coordinators.
31:44Coordinators don't go on the field and play the plays.
31:46I said this before.
31:47I work for a franchise that assists Super Bowl rings,
31:51and we were losing coordinator after coordinator after coordinator
31:54and kept winning, stacking.
31:56I think Lions are going to bounce back.
31:57They're decimated by injuries.
31:59Two very good teams.
32:00Two teams.
32:01I think there's probably six to eight teams that can win the Super Bowl this year
32:04that I wouldn't be surprised.
32:06These are two of them, so I think it's a very good game.
32:08I'm going to take the Lions.
32:09Stu.
32:10I mean, Packers defense was going to come back this year and be amazing.
32:15So now you add Parsons, and if he can roam, and if he can do whatever he wants,
32:19I mean, they're going to destroy the Lions.
32:21I mean, Lions' offensive line is like a sieve, and I think this will be a rout.
32:26They, two years ago, had the best offensive line in football.
32:29Last year, you saw that they couldn't protect their quarterback,
32:32and they got bounced out of the playoffs uncharacteristically against the commanders,
32:37and this year, mark my words, their offensive line will be dog shit,
32:41and the Packers will blow them the fuck out.
32:44Okay.
32:46I'm going to take my first over on the card.
32:48I'm going to take over 46 and a half.
32:49Listen, this is one of those games.
32:53Overs in week one are always tricky.
32:56You hate both of these teams, though.
32:57I hate both of these teams, but I want the over just because I'm rooting for a good game.
33:02And I would like, you know, I could see Jordan Love having a big week one.
33:06Their new receiver, Golden, seems like he's really good.
33:09Kind of surprised people.
33:10Their offense is better than people realize.
33:12Maybe Micah Parsons doesn't play.
33:13I think Micah Parsons is only going to play like 10 or 15 snaps.
33:16Yeah, he's going to.
33:16Yeah, so he's hurt.
33:17He's taking a shot.
33:17So maybe there's a chance to get, like, when they play again later in the year, this number could be like 52.
33:23I don't think they need Parsons.
33:24We're getting six points of value on my numbers.
33:26They don't even need Parsons.
33:27That's how good the Packers day is.
33:28Packers day is very scary.
33:29Micah Parsons is pretty good.
33:30Can I just interject for a second?
33:32Bears over under on wins is what?
33:35I think it's eight and a half in Vegas.
33:36And what are you doing?
33:37I think they're going to win about, I would take, I don't know.
33:43I was watching local news.
33:45It's very depressing because they.
33:47I think they could win nine games.
33:48Yeah, and they were saying that would be like a Super Bowl.
33:50It would be pretty.
33:51I mean, listen, you got to rebuild.
33:52We're rebuilding everything back up.
33:54Can I just say something?
33:55I think the Bears are going to have a shockingly good year.
34:01And over eight and a half is such a human.
34:04It is like.
34:06I think the Bears are going to shock the world and win between 11 and 13 games.
34:11Wow.
34:11Hey.
34:1211 and 13 games.
34:14Whoa.
34:15Not with that quarterback there.
34:16Whoa.
34:1711 and 13 games.
34:18Okay.
34:19Listen, I don't see it, but that would be great.
34:22I could just see it.
34:22It's so pumped.
34:23Yeah, no, I know.
34:24No one has seen it.
34:24The Bears have not gotten.
34:25It hasn't happened.
34:26The Bears have not gotten over 500 since 2018.
34:30A long time.
34:31I was at the Super Bowl when Rex Grossman played against Peyton Manning
34:34and Devin Hester ran the kickoff back for the touchdown in Miami.
34:37Prince.
34:37It was one of the most electric moments ever.
34:40Shout out Devin Hester Jr.
34:41Shout out halftime.
34:43Purple rain.
34:45You don't know.
34:47That's not Devin Hester's son.
34:51What do you mean?
34:53There's a different Devin Hester Jr.
34:54No kidding.
34:55Yes.
34:56How insane is that?
34:58I don't think the people who reported that news knew it wasn't his son.
34:59How insane is that there's a...
35:01Why would you report it if it wasn't his son?
35:03I don't know.
35:04Devin Hester Jr. plays for Furman, returns kicks, is electric, has no relation to Devin
35:12Hester, the Bears, and Hall of Famer.
35:15That's crazy.
35:15Crazy.
35:16Why would you report it?
35:17The relation might be that the father or the mother were big fans of the Devin Hester,
35:21and they named the kid after him.
35:23No, they named the kid after his dad.
35:25He's Devin Hester Jr.
35:27Maybe he changed his name because he loved Devin Hester.
35:29Maybe he bet on that Super Bowl that Devin Hester was going to run the kickoff back,
35:34change his name, add a kid, and that's where it is.
35:37That is crazy.
35:38It's not his kid.
35:39Also, Devin Hester, the Hall of Famer, has a son named Devin Hester Jr.
35:45Equally confusing.
35:46Different person.
35:47Isn't that insane?
35:48I guarantee you the person who reported that because it was like, oh, Devin Hester Jr.
35:52Yes, yes.
35:52Ran one back.
35:53I almost think they said like his dad on the broadcast.
35:56Yeah, yeah, but just not.
35:58There's a Devin Hester Jr.
36:00That's crazy.
36:00And I was saying.
36:02You're positive about that?
36:03I'm 100% positive.
36:04I looked it up.
36:05The craziest part is if it was like Devin Hester Jr. pancake block someone, we wouldn't think
36:09about it.
36:10Correct.
36:10He's doing the exact same thing as his not dad but namesake.
36:15AI had it confused as well.
36:17So that's why our people got a little confused.
36:18But Sports Illustrated wrote an article.
36:20They're like, this Devin Hester Jr. is from Tennessee.
36:23Yeah, crazy.
36:24Right?
36:25Yeah.
36:26That's crazy.
36:27Crazy.
36:28Yeah, they're not related.
36:28I just Googled it.
36:29All right.
36:30Ravens at Bills to finish off the card.
36:34Bills minus one and a half over under is 50 and a half.
36:37This is a great game.
36:38Amazing.
36:39This is a great game.
36:39Wow.
36:39Sunday night football.
36:40Wow.
36:41Stu, you're a pussy.
36:42You're not going to give a pick.
36:42But tell everyone where they can get yours.
36:44Well, basically, I have to earn a living and I'm the only person probably in the world
36:49that still has a paywall for their picks.
36:52I've had a paywall since 1980.
36:54I will have a paywall till the day I die.
36:58Right now, you're going to get this Sunday night.
37:00Saw it in total.
37:01Plus three best bets.
37:02StuFinder.com.
37:04StuFinder.com.
37:05Pay me.
37:05It's a paywall.
37:06I'm worth paying since 1980.
37:09I invented the sports gambling handicapping industry.
37:12StuFinder.com.
37:14Okay.
37:15Thank you, Stu.
37:16Thank you, Big Cat.
37:17I love you.
37:17I love you so much.
37:18And Dave, thank you for allowing me to do that.
37:19Ashley.
37:20It means the world.
37:21What's the weather in Buffalo?
37:22In Buffalo, it's going to be 59 degrees and partly cloudy.
37:25Okay.
37:26And then Jerry?
37:27Julie.
37:28Ravens and Lamar, 7-1 straight up and against the spread in primetime since 2022.
37:35Not including the playoffs.
37:37Not including the playoffs.
37:38This is a regular season game.
37:41I love the Bills.
37:42Love them.
37:43I do, too.
37:43But is it?
37:44Too easy?
37:45Yeah.
37:45I mean, Bills at home at night?
37:48It seems like they're pretty good in those.
37:50I don't know what the stats would be.
37:51I'm not a Lamar guy.
37:52He's a regular season Lamar to me.
37:54But this is just a Bills game in Buffalo.
37:56If this game was in Baltimore, I'd take Baltimore.
37:58It's not.
37:59I'm taking the Bills.
38:00The thing that makes me nervous about this game, because I'm going to have the Bills as well,
38:03is it like the Lamar revenge for Josh Allen winning the MVP?
38:07That would be very Lamar revenge-ish.
38:09Right.
38:10Right.
38:10Where he's like, oh, he should have won.
38:12You know, where it's almost the MVP was decided that this is going to be the 13th round.
38:17Right.
38:18The boxing match.
38:18I just, at Buffalo at night, tough place to play.
38:21Okay.
38:21So we've both had the Bills.
38:23When we come back, we're going to do our mortals, and we'll finish off Barstool Sports Advisor.
38:26We'll finish off Barstool Sports Advisor.
38:56This September, 16 Barstool employees will leave their keyboards and microphones to settle
39:03the score with a different kind of approach.
39:06What's the ruling on that, Riggs?
39:07It might be loss of a hole.
39:08That's bull****.
39:09I knew this was going to be a problem.
39:10We have contestants ready to throw down.
39:13Took some.
39:14Gave more.
39:14And others ready to feast.
39:16People!
39:17People!
39:17People!
39:17People!
39:18People!
39:18Some have grudges to settle.
39:20You don't respect me.
39:21It has nothing to do with why I would respect you.
39:23The front play guys are dead to me.
39:25They're dead.
39:25I would say I'm the only...
39:26I think they suck.
39:27While others have reputations to uphold.
39:30Oh my God!
39:30Yeah!
39:32In the end, this won't be child's play.
39:34It's a sad day.
39:35It's a bad day.
39:36Get in the hole.
39:37Jerry!
39:38Jerry has it right now.
39:40Did you just see what happened to PFT?
39:42Ah!
39:42When it comes out, that will be controversial.
39:45Oh!
39:46No way!
39:48Yes!
39:49Oh my God!
39:50This is easily my most embarrassing moment.
39:54With you at the worst drive of the bunch.
39:55Is there a chance I don't find this ball?
39:57Go!
39:58Oh my God.
39:59Oh my God.
40:0016 contestants, two teams, and $80,000 on the line.
40:06This is professional golf.
40:07Woo!
40:08This is the Barstool Sports Writer Cup.
40:11Presented by Body Armor.
40:15All right.
40:16Fantasy football is over.
40:19But there's so many opportunities for you to make somebody's life so, so special.
40:26And you know who's the number one in the world to deliver this message?
40:30Me, your source, Stu Finder.
40:32Whether it's a birthday, whether it's an anniversary, whether it's a bachelor party,
40:38how about a graduation?
40:40How about a pick-me-up?
40:41How about you want to shred someone?
40:43How about you want to get engaged, but you don't got the balls to do it?
40:48Let me send a cameo.
40:49Let me send that message.
40:51I'll shred someone.
40:53I'll build someone up.
40:54Hey, maybe they got a new job.
40:56Maybe somebody just broke up with their guy or their girl.
40:59They need to be picked up.
41:01I'll do it.
41:02Cameo.com slash Stu Finder.
41:07Cameo.com slash Stu Finder.
41:11Cameo.com slash Stu Finder.
41:15Barstool Sports Advisors, it is time for our mortals presented by DraftKings Sportsbook.
41:25Game on.
41:25Week one starts now, and every touchdown can bring you closer to a payout with DraftKings Sportsbook,
41:29an official sports betting partner of the NFL.
41:31Every touchdown could hit big.
41:33Don't just watch the game when you can win with it.
41:35DraftKings Sportsbook brings the unmatched intensity of the NFL straight to your fingertips,
41:41whether you're backing the first touchdown score, hitting anytime TD props,
41:45or riding the thrills of live in-game betting.
41:48Every play is packed with possibility.
41:50New customers, this one's for you.
41:53Bet just $5 and get $300 in bonus bets instantly.
41:56Plus, grab over $200 off NFL Sunday ticket from YouTube and YouTube TV.
42:01Your season starts now.
42:02Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app.
42:04Use code BEADVISED.
42:06That's code BEADVISED to get $300 in bonus bets instantly when you bet $5.
42:10Plus, over $200 off NFL Sunday ticket from YouTube and YouTube TV.
42:15In partnership with DraftKings, the crown is yours.
42:18Okay, Stu.
42:20Mano y mano.
42:21Last year, what did we decide?
42:22Did you end up winning?
42:23Yeah, you did.
42:24You ended up winning the...
42:26The mortal a**s have I ever lost m*****s?
42:28Yeah, you went like 0 for one year.
42:30Yeah.
42:30No, that's not true.
42:31I went 0-9 week one, season one.
42:33I had the 0-9 flu.
42:34I had the 0-9 flu, but I did not.
42:36Never went 0 for him.
42:37My mortalists have always been great, Dave.
42:39I hate correcting you, but you're dead wrong.
42:40No, he is.
42:41You just said you were 0-9.
42:42No, no, no.
42:43That was week one, regular picks.
42:45Yeah.
42:45My m*****s have been phenomenal.
42:47Yeah, m*****s.
42:47Including three years ago, 15-4-2, 78.8%.
42:50Yeah.
42:51And I think I've won the last five years in a row the mortal a*****.
42:54I am a mortal a*****.
42:55Let's go!
42:56Stop saying a*****.
42:58Don't say L.
42:59Say mortals.
43:00Mortals.
43:01Yes.
43:01No.
43:03Mortals only.
43:03All right.
43:07I think the Jacksonville Jaguars are going to be a great bet the entire year.
43:11I think the Carolina Panthers are going to be a great bet the entire year.
43:15I would like both of those teams to be bet every single week, no matter what.
43:19But they're playing each other this week.
43:21So what are you going to do, Stu?
43:22What are you going to do?
43:23What are you going to do?
43:23My mortal!
43:26Jacksonville Jaguars!
43:27That's my mortal!
43:31David?
43:32Shouldn't be surprising for people who know me, but for the first time in maybe post-Belichick,
43:37post-Brady era, I think Patriots fans have a legitimate reason to be excited this year.
43:41I think they're a playoff team.
43:43We're starting at home against the Raiders.
43:46Two and a half?
43:47That, to me, says that maybe the rest of the world or Vegas is not thinking the same as the Patriots.
43:53That's also the Raiders.
43:55Gino?
43:56Yeah, I'm not.
43:56Pete Carroll?
43:57Yeah, I'm not.
43:58Chenty?
43:58Yeah, none of these guys scare me at all.
44:00Bowers?
44:00Pete Carroll's where they get the respect.
44:02Max Crosby?
44:03I agree.
44:04None of these guys scare me.
44:06Vrabel, Drake May, we've got a good defense.
44:09I think the Patriots are going to be a 10-plus win team this year.
44:13So if I think that, they've got to win this game.
44:15At home, field goal gets you the cover.
44:17I'm taking the Patriots.
44:18Do the Patriots play the Chargers this year?
44:23Why?
44:23They should really make a rule that, like, one game a year, the coaches should get to play.
44:28Because Jim Harbaugh and Mike Vrabel would absolutely play if they were given the chance.
44:31Don't you agree?
44:32Yeah, 100%.
44:33Like, they get 12 guys?
44:36Like, that would be ratings through the roof.
44:38And you know they would do it.
44:39As a linebacker, how many touchdowns did Mike Vrabel have?
44:42They showed it in that, in the 12?
44:44He had eight.
44:45I mean, that's unbelievable, though.
44:47Yeah.
44:47That's just amazing.
44:48They don't play.
44:49All right.
44:49Maybe next year.
44:49Great hand.
44:50Maybe next year.
44:51All right.
44:51Well, they weren't the most ridiculous catches, but.
44:54No, true.
44:55Jerry, do you have a mortal for us?
44:56Because you'll be back in this seat, so we're going to track your mortals all year.
44:59Do you have a mortal?
44:59Oh, yeah.
44:59You're going to track the Steelers.
45:00Okay.
45:01Steelers.
45:01Yeah.
45:01I mean, Rodgers, revenge game.
45:04I don't agree with you guys on the Jets-Steelers thing.
45:06I think field is really fucking bad.
45:08Steelers defense is top three defense in the league.
45:10Easily.
45:11Easily.
45:12Seven and ten.
45:13You were never a Jussie guy.
45:15No, I never liked it.
45:16Seven and ten.
45:17That's how Rum denied me the autograph.
45:19He's a piece of shit.
45:20Okay.
45:20Did he deny you an autograph?
45:22Yes.
45:22See, if I knew that, I might not use the Jets.
45:24But it was like an autograph hunter situation.
45:26No, it was not.
45:27Yes, it was.
45:28Was he a bitch?
45:29No, no.
45:29Yes, it was.
45:29Was he a bitch?
45:30Saquon paid for me to be there.
45:32But your sugar daddy paid for you to be there.
45:35With Saquon.
45:35Okay.
45:36Gave me access.
45:36What happened was.
45:37Shout out, Saquon.
45:38You're the best ever.
45:39He brings the little kid that he doesn't even like to be like, oh, my kid needs an autograph,
45:43and then throws him away.
45:44And he also was like, hey, can you autograph 75 things?
45:47And he's got the eBay auction already off.
45:49Jason already agreed.
45:51What?
45:51Jason Williams.
45:52He already agreed to start selling autographs?
45:54Black Kings jersey, yeah.
45:55Okay.
45:56No, Jerry, it was, Stu, it was one of those autograph conventions.
46:02Jerry didn't go up to Justin Fields where he was doing his job signing autographs.
46:07He went up to him afterwards when probably the last thing he wants to do is sign an autograph.
46:12And ask for an autograph.
46:12Autograph hunters are tough, too.
46:14Yeah.
46:14All right.
46:14My pick is Stinky.
46:16Hold your nose.
46:18This is our Colts.
46:19Daniel Jones, minus one and a half, in Indianapolis against the Dolphins.
46:23I am selling on the Dolphins this year.
46:25I've been selling on that too cool for school coach got to go.
46:29Yeah.
46:29I've been selling on the Dolphins this year.
46:31Daniel Jones.
46:32It's always scary to bet on Daniel Jones as a favorite.
46:35Wouldn't you guys not agree?
46:36Agree.
46:37A very, very scary proposition.
46:38Agree.
46:38Agree.
46:39But I think there's going to be a little magic there.
46:41Jim Irsay.
46:41A little magic.
46:42Roof open.
46:43Death game.
46:43He's going to watch the game.
46:44Death game.
46:44You know I play a death game.
46:46Jim Irsay.
46:47Legacy game.
46:48He gave us that Pacers.
46:49Remember?
46:50The day he died, the Pacers, I think it was the game that Hal Burton hit that crazy shot
46:55against the Knicks.
46:56So he's there.
46:58Colts, minus one and a half.
46:59That is my mortal for week one.
47:01Barstool Sports Advisors.
47:03It is great to be back.
47:05So great.
47:05Stu, it's great to have you back.
47:07I love you, Dan.
47:08We'll be doing the whole season.
47:09Dave, I love you.
47:09Jersey, I love you.
47:10Ashley, I love you.
47:11Dave.
47:11It's an honor.
47:12Thank you so much for being here.
47:13We've been so busy.
47:13It's an honor.
47:14You're welcome.
47:14Yes.
47:15Shake hands.
47:15Seat's always warm for you.
47:17I don't miss the show.
47:18His hands are new on this.
47:18No, I know you don't.
47:19It was clear.
47:21Don't miss it.
47:22All right.
47:22We'll see everyone next week.
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