- 5 months ago
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00:00Yeah, yeah, nasty, uh, told her my 10 was 10 inches, she told me cap, I don't lie to none of these bitches, I told her to check out the strap, man's not joking, when the men them say I'ma blot her back, snap her in half like a pencil, let her blam out so she can relax, send me the OnlyFans link, play me the vid of the pink, if you DM and you're gay, I don't want none of that sting.
00:30Honestly, I think these bitches, my bad, I mean shorties, want man's to be sweet and all that, but then they go on IG showing off they bodies and shit, and I'm like, y'all wanna be hoes? I bet, then I'ma treat y'all like hoes.
00:41So that's the inspiration for the song Strapped Up by your boy looking nasty out Thursday, ah, ah, ah, ah, run that, run that.
00:48None of that gay shit, none of that gay shit, bro, man's don't fuck with it.
01:00Ah, I slept in!
01:25Oh, why didn't you wake me up for work? Why aren't you at work? Are you cooking?
01:30Breakfast in bed!
01:31Oh my gosh, did you turn off the alarm? Regina is going to kill me.
01:35No, she's not gonna kill you, because I called in for you, okay?
01:39Your childhood dog just died, and you are inconsolable.
01:43You're scaring me.
01:45Look, I can't, um, set up a nice, beautiful little stay-kay for my hubby?
01:50Am I being romanced?
01:55Not yet, but soon I'm about to romance you harder than a mosquito at a blood bank.
02:01I'm serious, look, I'm here, all right? I know I've been absent, but I'm just trying.
02:09Aw.
02:10Aw.
02:13I can't remember the last time you closed the office on a weekday.
02:16Well, it's not closed, but I did hire someone new. Devin's over there right now training him.
02:23Finally, your girl is done with that barista life!
02:27I'm ready to get my millionaire matchmaker on.
02:29Oh, no. I will take on most of the clients to lighten Mason's load, and you will be on phone scheduling and coffee.
02:36Coffee?
02:36Me? Damn.
02:38Look, Georgia, this is an important role, and there's a proper way to do it.
02:42Now, you and I will get along fine if you can respect that and do exactly what I tell you, okay?
02:46Mm-hmm. Whatever qualifies me for dental coverage.
02:49That's nice.
02:50Okay, um, our scheduling system.
02:53The green slots are for consultations. The pink ones are for client dates.
02:57Now, today's blocked off, so you and I...
02:59What's the yellow one mean?
03:00MVPs.
03:01Mm-hmm.
03:01Actors, singers, reality stars. It's not often.
03:05But we do get some pretty cool people up in here sometimes.
03:07It's not synced.
03:09What?
03:10What? How do you...
03:11No, it should be.
03:12Oh, no.
03:14Oh, no.
03:15No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
03:17That's not today, is it?
03:18Who's the craziest person to walk in here?
03:21Is it Troye Sivan?
03:23That twink is thirsty.
03:24You see him shaking his little ass cheeks in the music video?
03:26It was all...
03:27Hey, yo, man's ready for the goddamn...
03:33Oh, my God.
03:39You are my problematic favorite.
03:44Yo, yo, who's this?
03:45This is a private tink fan on a DL. No fans.
03:47No, no, no. This is Georgia.
03:49She works here, apparently.
03:49Um, I promise, everything is still on the down-low.
03:53It's down there.
03:53Can't...
03:54Where is it? I don't know.
03:55Wait, down-low? Hold up.
03:56Who's he here to see?
03:58Sorry, hold on.
04:00Oh, my God.
04:02Oh, okay.
04:02Nasty?
04:03Yo, what the fuck?
04:05Oh, my God!
04:06Wade Gomez in the house!
04:08Baby, I got you a new album on loop.
04:10You are on a home.
04:13Out of that knees, baby!
04:14Yo, yo, yo, yo, nah, nah.
04:15This shit ain't it.
04:16I'm about to pass out.
04:18Mr. Nasty, sir.
04:19Nasty, sorry.
04:20There's something...
04:21There's a glitch in the scheduling system.
04:23I don't actually have you in here.
04:24And Wade, you, buddy.
04:26Um, I have you here with a Terrence Stanley.
04:32Hey, Terrence.
04:35Yeah, I'm Terrence.
04:36But only my mama called me Terrence.
04:38The one time you had to fuck up the schedule.
04:42I wanted to get a selfie with Wade.
04:45How's it going?
04:46Sick joke.
04:46I ain't about your stupid-ass Batsy boy shit.
04:49Bro, I fucking knew you were gay, dude.
04:50Everyone and their moms at the label knew.
04:52They're fighting.
04:55Okay, um...
04:57Well, if I go, Jared's just gonna stonewall me for weeks.
05:00Um, just, just tell them to go,
05:02and, um, I'll just...
05:04I'll set them up with a few people, okay?
05:05Yeah, Nasty says he's going to sue you.
05:07He may have said...
05:08Shoot, he's got a Toronto man's accent.
05:11It's pretty thick and hard to understand,
05:12but don't worry, I'm gonna take it.
05:14Hello?
05:14Yeah, yeah, yeah.
05:27Ah, damn it!
05:31What's wrong?
05:32You okay?
05:34Yeah, I just, you know,
05:36missed the plate.
05:39Baby, it's fine, really.
05:41No, no, it's not, okay?
05:42I want this all to be perfect,
05:44so I'm making you another omelet.
05:47I'm gonna go down to the corner store,
05:49and I'm gonna get some more eggs.
05:50What?
05:51No, Mason, you don't have to go, really.
05:53Yes, I do.
05:55Because we're gonna need...
05:56Yeah.
05:57Protein.
05:58For later.
05:59Oh!
06:01Okay, protein for later.
06:03Well, in that case...
06:04Okay.
06:04Mason, there's...
06:08You Frank-Goshy-roop-off-ass bitch!
06:15At least people understand my lyrics, Mumbles.
06:17Hey.
06:18Hey.
06:18What's going on here?
06:19Hey, God, man.
06:20Is this some kind of sick joke?
06:22When I asked to be set up with another gay artist,
06:24I wasn't talking about...
06:24I'm not gay!
06:25Yo, I told you I needed this on the down low, bro!
06:27You know what?
06:28Enough.
06:29All right?
06:29You get what I give you.
06:30You want to swipe left,
06:31you download Raya.
06:32What's the deal here?
06:34You wanted someone low-key,
06:36who's fit and attractive and queer,
06:38who...
06:38Not queer!
06:39All right.
06:40Who understands your industry.
06:42Right?
06:43And you...
06:45are not gay.
06:47We all get that you're not gay,
06:48but you did want someone open-minded,
06:51romantic,
06:52and a versatile bottom.
06:54And I gave you an R&B singer
06:56that checks every box.
06:57Oh, I should've came with my fucking ski mask!
06:59What is the deal?
07:01Is there some sort of industry view
07:03that I don't know about?
07:04I mean...
07:05This guy is homophobic as fuck.
07:07He uses gay slurs in all his records,
07:09and he's mad misogyny.
07:10Cat.
07:11Cat.
07:11Is that not supposed to be ironic?
07:13I mean, isn't it an open secret
07:14that you're, you know...
07:15I'm what?
07:18Half Italian.
07:19Yeah, yeah.
07:20It's like when a closeted guy says
07:21tits or rack,
07:22and I'm like,
07:23dude,
07:23you ain't never touched a titty
07:24in your life.
07:25Like...
07:26Okay.
07:33You two clearly have a lot to talk about,
07:35right?
07:36Lots in common,
07:37so I think you guys should just sit here
07:39and get to know each other a little bit,
07:40and Devin and Georgia
07:41will be here to keep things
07:42very, very discreet.
07:45And if you don't like each other,
07:46you can go home
07:47and never talk again, okay?
07:49Sure, whatever.
07:50All right.
07:51Good.
07:51But yo,
07:52if anyone finds out I'm here,
07:54I'm coming back here for you.
07:55It's charming.
07:58Um,
07:59um,
08:01so here's the deal.
08:02Mm-hmm.
08:02We're going to keep this
08:04very light and romantic
08:05and very, very private.
08:07Mm-hmm.
08:07And unless someone is
08:09being murdered,
08:10you cannot contact me again.
08:12Okay?
08:13Mm-hmm.
08:13You know,
08:14I've been working on some bars myself.
08:15If you're looking for a good feature artist,
08:18let me put you on.
08:18Let me put you on.
08:19It's going to be fine.
08:20Okay.
08:20You have help.
08:21Mm-hmm.
08:22I'm going to get you in your G-spot.
08:23It's anterior.
08:25Make you scream,
08:26I'm superior.
08:28It's like Usher and Skrillex
08:29mixed together.
08:30Use a double helix.
08:30Do you see it?
08:31You just got to...
08:32Give me your LinkedIn, man.
08:33Hello, sir.
08:41How are you today?
08:42Yeah.
08:43Oh, you know,
08:44could be better.
08:46My glutes are killing me.
08:47Oh, no.
08:49Can't have that.
08:51Let's get you a...
08:53oil tap.
08:53You know,
08:58we offer
08:58happy endings.
09:00Mm-hmm.
09:01I'll take two.
09:02Mm-hmm.
09:10Is that
09:11Wade Gomez?
09:12Smooth track, eh?
09:14Yeah.
09:15You know,
09:16I'm so grateful for today.
09:17We really...
09:18Shh.
09:19Just...
09:20Stay in character.
09:23Mm-hmm.
09:24Your hands feel
09:25far less callous
09:26than my Russian wives.
09:27Whoa.
09:29Huh?
09:30I said,
09:31your hands feel
09:31far less callous
09:32than my Russian wives.
09:33Right, yeah.
09:34Yes.
09:34Russian calluses.
09:36I bet you mad confused.
09:59Not really,
10:00to be honest.
10:01Why not?
10:03Yo,
10:03who's been saying shit about me?
10:05Look,
10:05if Kevin Abstract
10:06said that we messed around,
10:07he's a liar.
10:08That boy only fuck
10:09a white dudes.
10:10No one said shit, bro.
10:12It's you.
10:13Always on some posh
10:14shit in all your records.
10:16Bitches this,
10:17whos that,
10:17miss me with that gay shit.
10:19Bro,
10:19that's the rap game.
10:20No, it's not.
10:20You think straight dudes
10:21are this loud
10:22about gay people?
10:23It's weird.
10:23Yo, what'd you say?
10:24Yo, say that shit again,
10:25I dare you.
10:25So what is it?
10:26Do something.
10:27What?
10:29This is going south fast.
10:30Yeah,
10:30we gotta lighten the mood.
10:32Maybe give them an icebreaker?
10:33You got Uno?
10:34No.
10:35Yeah, you're right.
10:36You're right.
10:36Asshole,
10:37take your phone off.
10:38Do not disturb.
10:38What is happening?
10:39Are we too nasty getting along?
10:40Am I getting sued?
10:41Call me back.
10:44I gotta get to that office.
10:46Catching your breath?
10:48Hey.
10:49Hey.
10:51I got my happy ending.
10:52Now it's time
10:53to give you my tip.
10:54Oh, okay.
10:55Well, you know,
10:56don't tip me yet.
10:58We're not done with your treatment.
11:00You are going method
11:03on this whole role play thing.
11:04Yeah, well, you know,
11:05it's your day.
11:07Check this out.
11:09Nice,
11:09hydrating facial mask.
11:11You put that on
11:11for 10,
11:1220,
11:1340 minutes.
11:1540 minutes?
11:15That seems really long.
11:16Jared,
11:16put the goddamn mask on.
11:18Yeah, so relax
11:21and meditate
11:23and don't move
11:25because it's a
11:27pricey mask
11:29and I don't want you
11:30dropping it on the floor.
11:32Oh, it do smell good, though.
11:35Eucalyptus.
11:38Is it supposed to be tingling?
11:42It's actually kind of burning a bit.
11:45Mason?
11:47Babe?
11:48Get that ass over.
11:52How's Nancy gonna say
11:53he's not gay
11:54and then do homoerotic shit
11:55like this?
11:55Shut up.
11:56I'm kind of cute.
11:57Oh, you're so gay.
11:59Rip his clothes off, boy.
12:00Screw it.
12:01I'm calling Mason back.
12:02You do yoga?
12:03I know you guys do yoga.
12:05That's why you're so flexible.
12:06Chill, chill, chill, chill.
12:07Musicians are just like
12:08big-ass tacos.
12:09They secretly love being spanked.
12:10Do you think babies
12:12love getting spanked?
12:13This is how you like it all.
12:15Your arms are so nice.
12:16It's kind of hot.
12:17Eucity!
12:27Asshole.
12:29I will be leaving
12:30a very, very serious customer review
12:32on my next TikTok.
12:34You don't...
12:35You don't...
12:35Spank the baby devil.
12:38Sit down!
12:40Did you just...
12:41You paid for a private
12:42three-hour blind date
12:43and that's what you're gonna get
12:44because we don't give refunds.
12:46So sit down, relax,
12:48and stop acting like dicks.
12:50Or what?
12:50Or...
12:51Or we leak your date.
12:55Hold up, what?
12:56That's messed up.
12:57Bam!
12:57Don't gotta be an ally
12:59if I'm on crew, bitch.
13:01Yeah.
13:03Come on.
13:04Yeah.
13:04Up to it!
13:05Think about what you do.
13:11Oh my God, you're right.
13:11They're totally listening.
13:12I meant spank metaphorically.
13:14Oh, no.
13:14Like, with your words.
13:15But damn!
13:15That was...
13:17hot.
13:33Look, I'll be cool
13:34if you admit that you overcompensate.
13:36Yeah, I stay getting paid, dog.
13:37Not compensation, Terrence.
13:40I want you to own up to the fact
13:41that you mess around with dudes
13:43and you turn around
13:44and use the F-slur in your songs
13:45like it's fine.
13:46Bro, it's just lyrics.
13:48What, your songs don't have
13:48no cussing in it?
13:49Bro, I can't deal with someone
13:50that's this uncomfortable
13:52with who they are.
13:53Bro, sorry,
13:54I'm not some fucking
13:56R&B flower boy, Wade.
13:58It's not my brand.
13:59My label expects me
14:01to be a kind of way.
14:02People expect me
14:03to be a kind of way.
14:04Oh, gosh, nigga,
14:05change the brand!
14:09Not to interject,
14:11but gay shit is in right now.
14:13Tyler, the creator,
14:13was on some mad homophobic shit,
14:15and now he is the flower boy.
14:17There's Sid,
14:18Steve Lacey,
14:19even Beyoncé cashed in
14:20on that shit.
14:21Right.
14:22Gay tunes go hard,
14:23okay?
14:26Look, I've been out.
14:28I ain't been doing too bad.
14:30But I'd be starting from scratch.
14:32I'd lose my fans.
14:34Right, but
14:34if we collabed on something,
14:38you'd earn mine.
14:39Plus, I've been looking for someone
14:42to feature on the remix
14:43of my new single, so.
14:46See?
14:47Shit, bro.
14:48I knew you fucked with me
14:49a little bit.
14:52Fuck, all right.
14:53I guess it can go
14:54with something like,
14:55trapped in a cage
14:57with a songbird.
14:59Bars be tight,
15:00but it's the best I ever heard.
15:01Told me to take a seat,
15:02got comfy in my suite,
15:04so I could hear my suite
15:05tweet his symphonic suite.
15:09That was, um...
15:11Wait, ow.
15:12Was that the bird?
15:23No.
15:25No.
15:26No, it's happening.
15:28It's happening.
15:29Okay.
15:29It's...
15:30Oh.
15:32Fuck.
15:34Hey.
15:35Hey.
15:35You look great.
15:38I
15:38bought the wrong
15:40bath bombs,
15:41you know,
15:41for our
15:42little romantic bath
15:43later,
15:44so I just thought
15:45I'd go
15:45back out
15:47to the
15:48store
15:49and then
15:51just stop by the office
15:52just very
15:53quickly.
15:56Oh, because,
15:57get this.
15:58Lickle Nasty,
16:00the rapper,
16:01is in the closet.
16:03And he's over there
16:05at the office
16:05right now
16:06at a little secret date
16:07with Wade Gomez.
16:09Gomez.
16:11Wait,
16:11Gomez.
16:12You are
16:13a boy and a
16:15won't.
16:16And, you know,
16:18God, is that why
16:19you've been acting weird
16:19all day?
16:20Have you been sneaking
16:21off to go to work?
16:22Okay, don't,
16:24don't make this
16:25about, you know,
16:26me not giving a shit
16:27about you
16:28because that's not true
16:28because if I didn't,
16:30then Devin wouldn't
16:30be over there
16:31handling a,
16:32a walking
16:34lawsuit,
16:34lawsuit,
16:36you know,
16:37and I wouldn't
16:37be here
16:38rubbing baby oil
16:40all over you
16:41as good as that was.
16:43Okay,
16:43you were the one
16:44who planned today,
16:45Mason.
16:46Because I'm trying,
16:48okay?
16:49Look,
16:50people pay me
16:51to help them
16:52be happy
16:53and you knew
16:54this was gonna be
16:55really demanding
16:56when we got married,
16:57right?
16:57Yeah, I know that,
16:58but that's not
16:59why I'm pissed.
17:00Okay, well,
17:01then,
17:01fine,
17:02be supportive.
17:03I'm going through
17:03a job crisis
17:05right now.
17:06God!
17:07Okay,
17:07why don't you just
17:08tell me that you
17:09had to go to the office?
17:10So you could tell me
17:11no?
17:12Okay.
17:14Wow.
17:16What?
17:16Wow.
17:17What's wow?
17:17What am I missing here?
17:18Okay,
17:19oh my God,
17:19nothing, Mason.
17:20Okay,
17:21if you have to go,
17:22go.
17:23But you trusted
17:24Devin to cover for you,
17:26so I think you should
17:27let her handle it.
17:28And you could stay here
17:29and we could
17:31salvage this
17:32stay,
17:32Kay.
17:35Hmm.
17:38So I can go
17:39if it's life or death?
17:42If it's life or death,
17:43yeah.
17:44Okay, yes.
17:49Get that ass over here.
17:52Mason!
17:53It's just great.
17:54It's great.
17:55They're all over the
17:56internet, huh?
17:56Who squealed?
17:57Are they in there?
17:59Why are you out here?
17:59Why aren't you in there
18:00begging them not to sue us?
18:02Are they killing each other?
18:04Should I be killing you
18:05right now?
18:06Is he okay?
18:08Yeah,
18:08he gets stressed,
18:09nausea.
18:09Here,
18:10ease your mind.
18:12Yo,
18:13mans are in love
18:14still.
18:15And if any of y'all
18:16got a problem with that,
18:17y'all can go kick rocks
18:18for real,
18:18hop off.
18:19And to my real fans,
18:20to them day ones,
18:22me and bae
18:23got something fresh
18:24for y'all dropping soon.
18:25You don't have to do
18:25something live,
18:26chill.
18:26This boy calling me
18:28Terry.
18:29He went full
18:30little Nas.
18:31So you guys
18:31had it covered?
18:33Oh yeah,
18:34my first clients
18:34were friggin' celebrities
18:35and we handled it.
18:37Because you're what?
18:38The queen?
18:39No,
18:40I'm a fucking king.
18:42And Georgia
18:43really had my back.
18:46Oof.
18:47So nobody's getting
18:48sued?
18:49I mean,
18:50somebody's getting
18:50murdered.
18:51They fucking
18:52on your couch.
18:57Damn,
18:58so big.
18:59That sofa's custom.
19:01Ooh,
19:02I'm on a desk.
19:04Psst,
19:04hey,
19:05what's Devin's deal?
19:07She's single.
19:08Oh,
19:08you're so limbered.
19:11Okay,
19:12it was a false alarm.
19:14You can say
19:15I told you so.
19:19Jared?
19:22Oh,
19:51asshole.
19:51Oh.
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