- 5 months ago
DOUBLE DATE with CARLY LAWRENCE and JOEY JOY interview / podcast
Category
😹
FunTranscript
00:00Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Pillow Talk!
00:09I can't sing, but welcome to the show, babies.
00:12Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to your favorite podcast.
00:14I'm your host, Ryan Poundell.
00:15This is Pillow Talk, and today we are joined by probably the biggest and best live interview of all time.
00:22Old friend of mine.
00:23Her name is Carly Lawrence.
00:25She's also joined by Joey Joy.
00:26But before I introduce you and let you guys speak, I must say, also Mr. Quickie's here.
00:31But I must say, Carly and I were best friends years ago.
00:35We got in a huge fight.
00:37We'd stopped speaking for a year.
00:38And now that she's famous, I have to be her friend again.
00:40So, now we're here, and we're doing Pillow Talk.
00:44And so, this is Carly Lawrence.
00:45This is Joey Joy.
00:46Welcome to the show.
00:47What's poppin'?
00:47We're excited.
00:48Okay, welcome.
00:49You guys just went to the bathroom.
00:50Did you guys fuck?
00:53Hi.
00:53If you thought that wasn't the first question, you have come to the wrong podcast.
00:59Did we?
00:59No.
00:59We actually fought.
01:01We fought.
01:01It got physical for a second.
01:03We love to fist fight, though.
01:05Yeah.
01:05We fist fight.
01:06That's like our love language.
01:07Not in front of people, though, because people take it the wrong way.
01:09But like, yeah.
01:09We fist fight.
01:10In the middle of fucking or non-fuck.
01:11No, we just fist fight.
01:12Like, that's our love language.
01:14We were like, he's like, fist fight.
01:15That's our love language?
01:16I don't know.
01:16Is it?
01:17It's a new one.
01:18I mean, you're not love.
01:19When's the last time you guys fucked?
01:20Hours ago, days ago, weeks ago, months ago.
01:26I'm guessing hours.
01:27Like 12 hours?
01:28Oh, you pumped.
01:29You put it down last night.
01:31Okay, great.
01:31Well, that's good.
01:32She seduced me.
01:33She makes me.
01:33She peer pressures me.
01:35I was trying to be a good boy.
01:37Okay, Joey.
01:38We heard about your fucking Rogers cable remote of a cock.
01:42Okay?
01:44So, we heard about that.
01:45Is that some Canada shit?
01:47Yeah.
01:48Rogers cable.
01:48What is that?
01:49AT&T cable remote.
01:50Sorry, Mr. Pittsburgh.
01:52Tell us.
01:52Sorry, Mac Miller.
01:53Okay.
01:54Carly, how much of his dick is involved in why you keep coming back to Mr. Joey?
01:59Oh, my God.
02:00That's a good question.
02:01I actually don't know.
02:02We're starting off hot.
02:03Go ahead.
02:03I think I'm just like, I think I'm just like, I'm used to him.
02:06Not sexually.
02:07Just like, I don't know.
02:09I think I'm just used to having him in my life.
02:10So, Carly, who puts it down better?
02:11Joey or Chase?
02:13I never fuck Chase.
02:14How come?
02:15Because we just only kissed twice on the show.
02:17We didn't talk in the house.
02:19Oh, it was Fugazi.
02:20It was just for the show.
02:22It was just for the show.
02:23Yeah.
02:23Okay.
02:24You know what?
02:24I don't like Chase either.
02:26Oh, he doesn't either.
02:27Just kidding.
02:28Just kidding.
02:29Actually, you know what?
02:30No, we don't have beef.
02:31He's just a loser.
02:32No, you have beef.
02:33Because he's…
02:34Wait, Chase is a loser?
02:36Bro, you knew that before I even said it.
02:39I said it first.
02:40Just so you know.
02:41And you and I are best friends over it.
02:43So, we got to stop bringing him up.
02:45We're like bringing light into his life.
02:47You're right.
02:47You're right.
02:47Okay.
02:47Fuck that.
02:48Who's a…
02:49Oh, am I not allowed to swear in this pocket?
02:51No, you can swear.
02:52Fuck shit.
02:53Cunt balls.
02:54But I'm shocked that you went at Chase so hard.
02:58Because he's really good looking and I'm…
03:00He's a former guest.
03:01Show him a little bit of love.
03:03I love you, Chase.
03:03Why do you hate Chase?
03:04Because honestly, he didn't fucking repost your reel.
03:08Oh, thank you, Joey Joey.
03:10That's why I have…
03:11Oh, shut it down.
03:13No, true that.
03:14Okay.
03:14You're such a kiss-ass.
03:16Okay, so Carly, in Hollywood…
03:18Now you're a big star in Hollywood.
03:19All the guys want to have sex with your vagina.
03:21And girls.
03:22Hey.
03:23Thanks.
03:24Best friends.
03:26Including big celebrities I won't mention unless you bring them up.
03:28Okay.
03:29I won't.
03:29Sure.
03:29We cannot.
03:30No problem.
03:31So, who eats the pussy better?
03:33Baby boy Joey or baby girl who I can't name?
03:35Should I expose you right now?
03:36Do it.
03:36Joey has never eaten fussy in his life.
03:38Oh my god!
03:40I'm allergic.
03:42It's not like a choice like I was born and got tested.
03:45Can't do it.
03:46No, my god.
03:46Yeah, he does not eat fussy.
03:47Joey, you don't eat vagina?
03:50Yeah.
03:50He doesn't eat fussy.
03:51How come?
03:52My wife will get it.
03:54Well, we're going to get married, so what's the point?
03:55Then that day, you'll get it.
03:57Carly, when you were…
03:58You guys had a lot of intercourse together.
04:00Probably over 15 times.
04:0120.
04:02More, maybe?
04:03Yeah, more or less.
04:0310.
04:0410 times?
04:05Okay.
04:05How many times did you give him a blowjob?
04:10Not that…
04:10Go to not.
04:12Anybody else repulse how Ryan shows how to give…
04:14Can you do that again?
04:15He's nice with it.
04:16Yeah, Ryan, maybe you should just suck the stick.
04:17I don't even know.
04:18Not if he doesn't eat me out.
04:22That was good.
04:23That was good.
04:23Oh god.
04:24So what happened?
04:25Okay, so you guys were dating, not on the show, but after the show.
04:28You were kind of, you know, chased on the show.
04:30You guys started dating together.
04:31And then, apparently, you announced to the whole world that you cheated.
04:35And then I watched YouTube videos saying you didn't cheat.
04:37So what happened, Joey?
04:38I didn't physically cheat.
04:39Don't even…
04:40Okay, shut up.
04:41Shut up.
04:41Well, to me, if my girl even, like, breathes another guy's air, she's a fucking whore.
04:46I love you.
04:46Fucking cock.
04:47So he was…
04:48Don't hurt a death.
04:48He was Snapchatting girls the whole time we were dating and answering girls on Instagram,
04:54Snapchat, stuff like that.
04:56Yeah, you were.
04:56Poor guy had a torn ACL.
04:58Maybe there were nurses.
04:58Which is fine.
04:59I get it.
04:59Exactly, exactly.
05:00And this is the thing.
05:01I get it because you're not used to that.
05:02So I get it.
05:03Like, you're like…
05:04It's like new.
05:05But I just, like, didn't respect it because I would never do that.
05:08I could be dating Kim Kardashian if I came fresh off of a Netflix show.
05:12I'd be doing more than…
05:13It's interesting.
05:14I'm a little bit drunk, eh?
05:14It's interesting.
05:15Oh, yeah.
05:15I'm loving it.
05:15Netflix show?
05:17Netflix show.
05:17Uh-huh.
05:18Why do you think I'm wearing sunglasses?
05:20Okay, Carly, you're getting hit on by big celebrities.
05:23I've been hit on my whole life.
05:24So this is the thing.
05:25This is the difference.
05:26My pool of dating didn't change when I got famous.
05:29Like, I hate saying that.
05:30My pool of dating did not change when I, like, started getting a following.
05:33Okay.
05:34But his did.
05:34Jurasically?
05:35Jurasically?
05:36Sarasically?
05:37Jurassic Park.
05:37Jurasically or dramatically?
05:39So, Joey, pre-Netflix, were you, like, a little virgin or what's going on?
05:43Like, were you putting it down?
05:43I mean, he hasn't eaten pussy, so he's definitely a virgin.
05:48Joey, you must have put it down.
05:49You're a stud.
05:50No, he hasn't.
05:51No, he means it when he says he's not lying.
05:53Oh, he was talking about having sex.
05:55Oh, sorry.
05:56He just doesn't eat pussy.
05:58That's what…
05:58But he's got a fucking, you know, his dick looks like…
06:01Okay, and?
06:03Guys, it's a really big…
06:04No, I did okay.
06:05I did, like…
06:06Views from the Pittsburgh, you know what I mean?
06:08We're in Toronto.
06:09That's sick.
06:10Yeah.
06:10Toronto.
06:10Shut up, Toronto.
06:11Yeah, welcome to Toronto.
06:12You're a tourist today.
06:13Like, when did you lose your virginity?
06:14What age?
06:15High school, yeah.
06:17Okay.
06:17I was a late bloomer.
06:18Carly, when did you lose it?
06:19When did you lose it?
06:20I was, like, prom night shit.
06:22Like, last chance.
06:23I'm not saying.
06:23What do you mean?
06:24Like, 18?
06:24Yeah.
06:25I was 18 also.
06:26So, I went through a thing where, like…
06:28I had, like, a girlfriend in high school and she didn't want to have sex.
06:31So, like…
06:32I was, like…
06:33Then, like, broke up, whatever.
06:35But I wasn't going to have sex until I, like, did it with her.
06:36I was getting ahead from, like, what the fuck ever.
06:39Me too.
06:39I was a blowjob bandit.
06:40Okay.
06:40So, we were the same thing.
06:41Why do we even need to do anything with our bodies?
06:43It's fine.
06:43Yeah.
06:45Blowjob bandit.
06:46But then, I was a senior in high school.
06:48And then, I, like, forked somewhere.
06:50And it was history.
06:51So, how's the sex with Carly?
06:53You're fantastic.
06:54She's a little batty.
06:55She puts it down.
06:56What do you think…
06:57What would you rate us compared to your…
07:00Compared to what?
07:01Your…
07:01I don't know.
07:02Your…
07:02What?
07:03Your journey.
07:03What journey?
07:04Your sexual journey.
07:04What journey?
07:05What sexual journey?
07:06She's never had a sexual journey.
07:07Carly, in Hollywood, you've definitely fucked your boy, Joey.
07:10Obviously.
07:11Have you fucked anyone else?
07:12One person.
07:13Who?
07:13One.
07:14One.
07:14I've only sexed with one person since we broke up.
07:16Who?
07:17I refuse.
07:18Jamie Fox.
07:19I'm just kidding.
07:20I don't know.
07:21He loves me, though.
07:21Wow.
07:22Jamie Fox loves me.
07:23He's sliding in your DMs.
07:24More than that.
07:26Okay, Carly, let me ask you this.
07:28Since you've become very…
07:30We're going to say A-list famous celebrity.
07:32Oh, shit.
07:33No, C-famous.
07:34Okay.
07:34Which Toronto guy has been trying to fuck the most?
07:38You.
07:40You set yourself up for this one.
07:42This is your fault.
07:42I'm just kidding.
07:43I'm totally fucking with you.
07:44Who?
07:47Air it out, Cuts.
07:48Oh.
07:49Oh.
07:52Did we catch that, Terry?
07:53No.
07:54Boys?
07:55He said…
07:56We were going to blank.
07:57I didn't hear it.
07:58I don't know who that is.
07:58Okay, let's keep moving on then.
08:00Keep it moving.
08:01Yeah, we're going to keep it moving.
08:02I need a shot.
08:03Can I have one?
08:03Sure.
08:04Let's do a shot.
08:04Can we do a shot, please?
08:05Ronnie made me a triple.
08:06Aaron, can you bring a shot for everyone, please?
08:07Ronnie, you're the fuck tequila, though, please.
08:08Okay, perfect.
08:09You tried the last straw.
08:09I do vodka.
08:10If I'm doing one, I'm doing vodka.
08:11Tequila making…
08:13I live in Miami.
08:13There's too much of that shit.
08:15Let's get back to…
08:16I think we skipped a step here.
08:18We skipped many steps.
08:19I need another cup.
08:19Thank you so much.
08:20Everyone wants to hear about…
08:22Joey, after Carly,
08:24I want to hear about what girl you were involved in.
08:26Yeah, I'm very excited to actually hear this.
08:28Yes.
08:29Pick your words wisely.
08:31I'm just kidding.
08:32Wait, what do you mean?
08:32I don't care.
08:33Did you have a regular sexual…
08:35He gave him the whole bottle.
08:36No, you did not?
08:37Nah.
08:37Cheers.
08:38Okay, cheers.
08:39Love you.
08:39Cheers to Carly Lawrence.
08:40It's funny because me and I weren't friends for a very long time.
08:42Do you want to talk about that?
08:44No.
08:44We can talk about…
08:45Actually, I'll say it now.
08:46I'll walk out.
08:47Because I didn't say it before.
08:48Carly told me like…
08:50A long time ago.
08:51Like, don't do his podcast.
08:53Like, he just wants to…
08:54She told me not to do that with you either.
08:56Carly's a jealous.
08:56She gets jealous.
08:57She does get jealous.
08:59She gets mad jealous.
09:00What if I would have came on here without you?
09:01She would have been tight, right?
09:03Oh.
09:04You would have been fuming.
09:06I probably wouldn't have known.
09:08I wouldn't have.
09:09You don't watch his podcast?
09:10That's fucked up.
09:12True dot.
09:13Do you want me to be honest?
09:14Can I have that?
09:14What?
09:15Okay.
09:15So, let's talk about what's next for you guys.
09:18No, we're going to get out of the sexual stuff for a sec because you guys just got a big career.
09:22Okay.
09:23Too hot to handle.
09:23You guys chase the more…
09:26A lot of big…
09:26A lot of big stuff.
09:27Who?
09:29Okay.
09:30So, Carly, what's going on with you?
09:31What's going on with you right now?
09:32Where are we at?
09:33Just hanging out, making my brands.
09:35Okay.
09:36Making my life.
09:36Making my brand.
09:37You're on OnlyFans now.
09:38You're doing college tours.
09:43He didn't hear that.
09:44That's good.
09:45Say it again.
09:47Whatever.
09:50What I miss?
09:51Nothing.
09:52No.
09:52So, Carly, you're on OnlyFans now.
09:53What kind of content can we see on your page?
09:55No nudes.
09:56No nips?
09:57Maybe.
09:58In the future.
09:59Are we going to see Vagina?
10:01Never.
10:01Because I'm getting into acting.
10:03Okay.
10:03So, my girlfriend…
10:04Okay.
10:04Her sister doesn't…
10:05She's an acting coach.
10:06Okay.
10:07So, she's putting me in acting classes.
10:09What kind of acting?
10:10Like, we're going to do like cute fun or we're going to do like drama?
10:12Drama.
10:13You know me.
10:14You want me in Titanic.
10:15For sure.
10:16Okay.
10:16I'm ready.
10:17But no, I love it all.
10:18I want to do everything.
10:19Okay.
10:19I've never been in an acting class in my life, so I'm excited.
10:21Fucking right.
10:22Yeah.
10:23Okay, great.
10:23And Joey, like, what's up with you?
10:25What's going on now?
10:26He's going to…
10:27I'll tell.
10:28I'll tell him.
10:29Uh-oh.
10:29He's going to…
10:30He's going to go to U Miami and he's going to do another college tour?
10:34Yeah.
10:35Honestly?
10:36With chicken fried rice?
10:38We're on a chicken fried.
10:39It's my girl.
10:40Don't talk shit.
10:41She's dope.
10:41I'm not.
10:42It's just funny to me.
10:43What do you mean?
10:43Okay.
10:44You guys have a lot of tension.
10:45Okay.
10:45It's just funny.
10:46Let's cancel all my questions.
10:47We're going to have to go to the bathroom.
10:48I want you guys to do…
10:49Yes.
10:50I want you guys to tell us what's going on.
10:53Why do you hate him so much?
10:54Why are you beefing her?
10:55You're here with her in Canada for her Canadian Thanksgiving that you didn't even know
10:58existed.
10:59Yeah, I didn't.
10:59What's going on?
11:00You guys are here together beefing.
11:02What's going on?
11:03Did you fuck on the plane?
11:04Did you not fuck on the plane?
11:05Did you fight on the plane?
11:06We fought on the plane.
11:07You're about to be your mom, Big Tip Bar?
11:09We fought on the plane twice.
11:10Okay.
11:11So what's going on?
11:12Tell me about the drama.
11:13Let's go.
11:14Let it loose.
11:15People are tuning in for the good shit.
11:16I want to hear everything.
11:18Let's go.
11:18What are you guys beefing about?
11:19I wish it was juicier than a what.
11:22It's like…
11:22Yeah.
11:22Is it not?
11:23Guys, give us something fucking juicy.
11:26We fought on the plane.
11:27About what?
11:28I thought she said we fucked on the plane.
11:30I was like, what?
11:31Give us something juicy.
11:32Look, I need something.
11:33You come inside of her when you fuck her.
11:35Like, what's going on?
11:36She begs for it.
11:37Oh, God.
11:38Does she?
11:39Get over yourself.
11:40And where do you bust?
11:43Give us something.
11:44Are you wrapping it up?
11:45Sure.
11:46You going to fuck that up?
11:46No.
11:47No, we don't wrap it.
11:48We don't wrap it.
11:49Okay.
11:50So we don't wrap it up.
11:51That's as juicy as we got.
11:52What else?
11:53Have you guys involved another girl?
11:55Like, would you guys play with toys?
11:56Like, give me something, man.
11:58We play with toys.
11:58Yeah.
11:59No, Carly's in love with her vibrator.
12:01Oh.
12:02Okay.
12:03Let's talk about that.
12:03It's made many appearances in her stories.
12:05Like, on Instagram on accident.
12:07Adam and Eve.
12:09Shout out.
12:11Is it made in China or Taiwan?
12:12And cocoa rum.
12:13How long do the batteries last?
12:15Not long enough.
12:16Okay.
12:17So let me…
12:17Can I take a little while, Gus?
12:19Yeah, what's up?
12:20Okay.
12:20So you're putting it down doggy.
12:22And then you got like a wand on the clay.
12:24Is that…
12:24That's the go-to?
12:25It's like a…
12:26Is that a wand?
12:26I don't know.
12:27I don't know.
12:27I'm not like very versed in…
12:28I think that's become the 2021 way of girls having orgasms.
12:31And girls are telling me now…
12:33Look, when they stand sex isn't as…
12:36Because you got to do a whole bunch of things.
12:37Yeah.
12:37Whereas when you have a girlfriend…
12:39I can't.
12:40You get to do the…
12:40I can't deal with this right now.
12:42You know what I mean?
12:43You're making me giggle.
12:44Okay.
12:44You grow…
12:44Okay.
12:45We use a vibrator.
12:47You girls, you guys…
12:48You guys got to give us something to work with here.
12:50What's going on?
12:51Why did you guys break up?
12:52Like what…
12:53How are you back together?
12:55Whose friend did you fuck with his?
12:55We're not back together.
12:56We're not back together.
12:57No.
12:57So what's going on?
12:58Why are you here?
12:58Like you going to put it down this weekend or what?
13:00No, we're…
13:01We're cool.
13:02Okay.
13:03I hate it, but we're cool.
13:06You know what?
13:07I think it's time for Mr. Quickie.
13:10And this segment of Mr. Quickie is a very special one.
13:13He doesn't look warmed up.
13:14Yeah.
13:15Yeah.
13:15What's going on here?
13:16No, no, no.
13:16I've been canceled.
13:17Oh, no.
13:18Me too, babe.
13:19Because I'm too drunk.
13:21Oh.
13:23Yes, you're canceled.
13:23Get out of here.
13:24Let's get in Mrs. Quickie.
13:26We have a special guest here.
13:28Oh, gosh.
13:28Wait.
13:28Who's the questions going to me?
13:30No, it's both.
13:31It's both.
13:31It's me.
13:32I already know.
13:32Oh, wait.
13:33She's doing it?
13:33No, it's both of you.
13:34I don't know, but…
13:35Yes.
13:36She's Miss Quickie?
13:37Mrs. Quickie.
13:38Mrs. Quickie.
13:38Mr. Quickie's not doing it?
13:39No, it's Mrs. Quickie.
13:41Oh, shit.
13:41This is the first time ever.
13:42Is it yes or no?
13:43What's the premise?
13:44Well…
13:45There's a bunch of different ones.
13:46She'll explain.
13:46No, am I saying yes or no?
13:47Yeah, give us the rules in the rundown.
13:49I've never seen Quickie segments.
13:51So, basically, we're going to do everything as quickly as possible.
13:54I'm going to ask you a bunch of questions in 60 seconds.
13:57You have to answer as many as possible.
13:58All right.
13:59Starting now.
13:59At the same time?
14:00Different.
14:01Joey, is it true you tore your ACL not because you partied too hard,
14:05but because Carly is crazy and pushed you down a flight of stairs?
14:08That's a fact.
14:09No, it's not a fact.
14:11No, it's not a fact.
14:12Fuck off.
14:13Carly, outside of Joey, if you were to have a threesome with two other cast members from season two,
14:17who would it be?
14:18Nobody.
14:20Okay.
14:21Joey, give me a number of how many girls you slept with that you think Ryan follows on Instagram.
14:2550.
14:26Like…
14:28Eight.
14:29Joey, fuck, marry, kill.
14:31Megan Fox, Bella Hadid, Carly Lawrence.
14:36Probably marry Megan Fox.
14:37Probably fuck Carly and kill Bella Hadid.
14:40Good answer.
14:40You're going to not marry me?
14:43Carly, he didn't kill you.
14:44That's good.
14:45Carly.
14:46On a scale of one to ten, how do you rate Joey in the bedroom?
14:49One.
14:50Okay.
14:50Don't lie.
14:51Joey.
14:52You said you won't marry me, so fuck off.
14:53I said I'd fuck you.
14:54I don't care.
14:55Rebuttal your answer right now.
14:56Cable remote.
14:57One.
14:57What was your least favorite part about living with Carly?
15:01She's a mess.
15:03Time is up.
15:04Thank you, Mrs. Quickie.
15:05Do you have one more encore question?
15:08Joey, why don't you eat pussy?
15:11I said I'm late.
15:13That was the last question?
15:14Yes.
15:15Yes.
15:16I don't agree with that one.
15:17Yes.
15:18I love you.
15:20Stay for a sec.
15:20Stay for a sec.
15:21You're a fucking bitch.
15:22Hold on.
15:22I mean, wait.
15:23She asked you a question.
15:24I'm going to let you guys wrap this up.
15:25Yes.
15:26I think that's…
15:26Liv, I fucking love you.
15:28I think at this point, I got to save it, right?
15:30Ew.
15:31You're such a fucking pussy.
15:32Maybe save like anal, not like…
15:33No, you save it.
15:35I don't really get…
15:36I don't really get all…
15:37I fucking love her.
15:38I don't really get the like physics of anal either.
15:42Okay.
15:43You put it on your wife.
15:44But eating out is like…
15:45It's like a pre-having sex.
15:46Like you got to do it.
15:47Like hook up.
15:48Like random hook up.
15:49I should be eating bitches out.
15:50But you expect her to go down on you?
15:51Not expect, but like…
15:52Yes, you do.
15:54Okay.
15:54You do.
15:55Mr. Quickie.
15:56Are you good at fingering?
15:57No.
16:01Am I not?
16:02I don't know.
16:02Is that a thing?
16:03I don't even know what's going on.
16:04Last night you were like, will you finger me, please?
16:06Will you finger me?
16:07Okay.
16:07Put your mic to speak.
16:08Okay.
16:09Well, I'm listening.
16:10Okay.
16:11What do you mean you're listening?
16:12Put the mic closer to your mouth.
16:13The mic's right there.
16:14What do you mean by my fucking…
16:15They said it's not.
16:16Everybody give it up for Mrs. Quickie.
16:17Mrs. Quickie.
16:18Mrs. Quickie.
16:21Okay.
16:21Let's talk about fingering for a sec because it's a subject that never gets brought up.
16:24No, he does finger very well.
16:25You're absolutely right, Ryan.
16:26He does.
16:27I like where you're going with this.
16:28He does finger very well.
16:29He just has never eaten me up, so, you know.
16:32Oh, 9-0 Shooter.
16:33Yeah, that is.
16:33Is that 9-0 Shooter?
16:34Yes, it is.
16:359-0.
16:36Is that who that is?
16:369-0.
16:37Come here.
16:37Yo, come say hi.
16:38Come say hi, 9-0.
16:39This isn't 9-0 Shooter.
16:40Yes, it is.
16:41Do you know him?
16:42What?
16:42I mean, I don't know him, but that's lit, bro.
16:44Nice to meet you.
16:45I tell you every day.
16:47You're the most famous guy in Toronto.
16:48You're a legend.
16:49Yo, I have those shoes.
16:49Yo, he has wearing the shoes.
16:51You won't mail back to my apartment.
16:52No one…
16:52Shut it down.
16:55Hey, 9-0.
16:56Here, come in the mic for a sec, dude.
16:57This is not 9-0 Shooter.
16:58Yo, sit on my lap, bro.
16:59Yes, it is.
17:00It is.
17:019-0.
17:02Here, just get in here for a sec.
17:03There's your mic.
17:049-0, we just saw you at Queen's Homecoming.
17:07Did you have sex?
17:07No, that was Mac Homecoming.
17:09You were the coolest I've ever seen you on Instagram.
17:12At that fucking guy.
17:13Yeah, you were cool, man.
17:14What happened here now?
17:16I can't disclose.
17:17You got to watch my YouTube video.
17:18Hey.
17:20Do you know Joey and Carly?
17:22I just met them now.
17:23What the heck is going on?
17:25Too Hot to Handle Season 2?
17:26Do you know who that is or not?
17:27I've heard of it.
17:30Get out of here.
17:31Joey wasn't in it.
17:32Beat it.
17:33Let's get back.
17:33Scrump off.
17:36And everyone…
17:37Hey, how do you know 9-0?
17:39From Nelk Boys?
17:40He sucked him off.
17:41I'm a Nelk fan.
17:42He sucked him off.
17:43It's fine.
17:43Yes.
17:449-0 is one of the most famous people in Toronto.
17:46Nice to meet you, bro.
17:47Just as awkward as I would imagine.
17:50It goes…
17:50You got Ryan wheezing.
18:00That was funny, man.
18:02Okay.
18:02Let's talk about fingerings.
18:04So…
18:04Yes, back to that.
18:06Yes.
18:06I feel like fingerings is a subject that's never in memes, brought up on podcasts.
18:11And it's one of those things that always happens during sex at some point.
18:15Every time.
18:16Yes.
18:16Like…
18:17Like…
18:17Why are hand jobs not really disgusting?
18:19Guys have been doing this for…
18:21Forever.
18:22Do you do that?
18:23Yes.
18:23Do you smell my pussy?
18:24Yo, I did it, dude.
18:25Do you smell my pussy last night?
18:26Let me smell.
18:27That's Abby Fawcett.
18:28Oh my god.
18:30Did you sniff my pussy last night?
18:32Did I what?
18:32Did you sniff my pussy last night?
18:34Did you sniff my pussy?
18:34You were fresh out of the shower though.
18:35You're good.
18:37Okay.
18:37So you're saying you smell check.
18:38You know what, Joey?
18:39Of course.
18:39Let's talk about that.
18:40Of course I do.
18:41That's like the big…
18:42That's like the one thing where it's like…
18:43But he likes me because this is the thing.
18:44He does not like unclean girls.
18:46That's why you like me because I'm very clean.
18:48Yeah.
18:48I get turned off like so easy.
18:49He gets very turned off by…
18:50Like so quick.
18:51So let's talk about smelling vaginas for a second.
18:52He likes me because I'm very clean.
18:54So smelling vaginas is also a subject that doesn't get discussed that much.
18:57But it happens every single time.
18:58It's in every guy's group chat.
19:00It's in every day like…
19:00Okay, should I leave?
19:01Girls want to chirp dicks and sex game.
19:04They make me come this, that all the time.
19:06But guys have their own shit, ladies.
19:08Just so you know.
19:09And we discuss vaginas.
19:11And look, girls…
19:11I have a 10 out of 10.
19:12So don't worry.
19:14Yeah, guys talk about it in the group chat.
19:15It's just like…
19:16So how was it?
19:17It's like…
19:17Well, her butt tasted like water.
19:19They say that.
19:20That's a good thing.
19:20Which is a big factor.
19:22That's a good thing.
19:23But I feel like younger girls don't know that when you get home from a club…
19:26You got to baby bird your vagina a little bit.
19:28You know, you got to give it a little bit of…
19:29I thought baby bird was like spitting your food into someone's mouth.
19:33Whatever it takes to clean it up.
19:34You said baby bird bath.
19:36Bird bath.
19:36Bird bath.
19:37Bird bath.
19:38That's what I'm going for.
19:40Bird bath.
19:40Baby bird.
19:40Because a lot of girls don't know this.
19:42But, you know, after a night of doing yeah by usher on the D floor, it's…
19:47Okay, well, I'm going to stand up for a woman here and say that even if I fucking
19:51stink, I'm going to fuck you.
19:52Shut the fuck up.
19:53So fuck off.
19:55If a woman is going to fuck you after a night of clubbing, shut the fuck up and take it.
19:59You're welcome.
20:00If I go down on a girl that smells like my hand soap that came from my washer…
20:03Get over it.
20:04I'm clapping.
20:04I'm very happy.
20:06You're lucky to be fucked.
20:07You're lucky to be fucked.
20:08I appreciate the effort.
20:09Do not make fun of a woman's smell ever.
20:12Women have very many things going on down there.
20:14I feel like it's a double standard though a bit.
20:15Okay, well, there's three against one right now.
20:18And I'm going to speak for the woman.
20:19Your pussy's always not going to smell amazing.
20:22Okay?
20:22So shut it down.
20:23True that.
20:23Don't be rude.
20:24True that.
20:25Okay?
20:25Hey, let me ask you this, Carly.
20:26I'm fucked by a girl.
20:27Do penises ever stink?
20:29A hundred percent.
20:30They do, right?
20:31But women don't talk about it like little men do.
20:32Do I ever smell bad ever?
20:35How's his dick smell?
20:36No, she shoves her face in my armpits.
20:39Don't lie.
20:40Do I ever smell bad?
20:41No.
20:42Huh?
20:43No.
20:44She gets mad.
20:44She wants me to smell bad.
20:46So why did you guys break up?
20:47It seems like you like the smell of his armpits.
20:49What's going on?
20:52I don't know.
20:53Does her vagina ever smell bad?
20:54You have no idea.
20:55Never.
20:56You don't know.
20:58Why are you giggling?
20:59You can be giggling.
21:00What's her pH level?
21:03Like a 7.
21:04Very acidic.
21:06I was like a fist pump you.
21:08I was like, yeah, a 7.
21:10No, like a 5.
21:11Oh, that's like…
21:12Well, a 7 is very acidic.
21:14I feel fine.
21:14Is it?
21:15No, I don't remember.
21:16I don't remember.
21:17I just said that.
21:18Okay.
21:18So let's move on here about everything.
21:21So you guys are…
21:22He's coming to your family's Thanksgiving dinner.
21:25You guys are kind of back together.
21:26But you've been fucking another dude on the side.
21:27How are you going to play this out?
21:31I'd go after Big Tip Barb if I were you.
21:33Bold move, Cotton.
21:37He's dodgeball.
21:38This is very confusing for me.
21:41This is very confusing for me.
21:43So what are you going to say to Big Tip Barb?
21:44Which is your mom.
21:45So I am seeing someone.
21:47Okay.
21:48You're seeing another guy.
21:50What's his name?
21:52You won't say.
21:53That's fine.
21:53So he thinks he's seeing you but you're like…
21:56You're saying him.
21:57Yeah.
21:57Okay.
21:58She.
21:58You're seeing a guy but…
22:00I'm seeing a girl.
22:00Girl.
22:02I'm a girl.
22:02You're saying guy.
22:03I'm trying to tell you.
22:04You're seeing a guy.
22:05You're seeing a girl.
22:05And now you're pumping Joey.
22:06She's like girls like girls where I'm from.
22:09She's going to be tight if she watches this.
22:11You're not supposed to be having sex.
22:12Yeah.
22:13I mean…
22:14Because verbatim, Dark and I just gave Joey his first Cialis.
22:18People get famous and go gay.
22:20That's what happens.
22:21That's what I'm saying.
22:23Do you know guys that have done that?
22:25Him.
22:28Joey, have you…
22:29I can't say that.
22:30People are going to be like, Joey's gay.
22:32I'm not gay.
22:33I don't know.
22:33It's questionable.
22:34But 20 bucks was 20 bucks.
22:3520 bucks.
22:36I'm going to fucking…
22:39I'm going to sip my coconut…
22:41Whatever the fuck this is.
22:43Okay.
22:44Have you hooked up with a dude before?
22:45Never.
22:46Have you had a threesome with a guy?
22:47You should try it.
22:47Actually, no.
22:48Have you had a threesome with two girls?
22:49Yes.
22:50Have you had a threesome with two guys, Carly?
22:52No.
22:52Never.
22:53You know that.
22:53Have you had a threesome with two girls?
22:54Of course.
22:55Excluding Matt?
22:55With your girlfriend.
22:58With your girlfriend, baby.
23:00Terry has a budget on how many times he can bleep names at.
23:03Carly.
23:04Yo, 90 Shooter's not scarfing.
23:06I'm going to die on a chicken sandwich right now.
23:16My bad.
23:17Bring it back.
23:17Bring it back.
23:18Where are you going?
23:19I'm sorry.
23:22He's a legend.
23:23He's such a legend.
23:24I can't laugh.
23:25You don't even know how much of a legend I think you are.
23:27Oh, my God.
23:28That was the funniest thing I've ever heard of in my life.
23:31I got it.
23:32Okay, Carly.
23:32When I had a girlfriend last summer, names out.
23:35Did you have a threesome with her and another guy?
23:39Yes.
23:40Say it.
23:41You're fucking dead.
23:42Did you encourage my girlfriend to cheat?
23:44Oh, wait.
23:44You were dating at the time?
23:45Other way around, baby.
23:47Wait, what?
23:47I had a girlfriend.
23:48Was that the beef?
23:49Other way around.
23:49Yes.
23:50Wait, no.
23:50Other way around.
23:52Other way around.
23:52She encouraged you to cheat with her?
23:55Wait, that was the beef?
23:57Yeah.
23:57Damn.
23:58Can you believe it?
23:58That sucks.
23:59And my girl lied to me and Carly told me the truth and I believed my girl.
24:02But I'm very honest.
24:03I believe my girl.
24:03No, you believed your girl.
24:05I did.
24:05Which was not a good one.
24:07Well, I mean, man's game.
24:08I had to believe baby girl.
24:09She's like, oh, my mom's life.
24:11You were probably blind.
24:12Who do you believe now?
24:13Carly Lawrence.
24:14Obviously.
24:14Yeah, but who is he supposed to believe?
24:16You or the one he was pumping?
24:17Why would you not believe me?
24:17I don't give a fuck.
24:18But the one I was believing my girl first.
24:20I wouldn't give a fuck.
24:21I don't lie.
24:22That's the thing.
24:22People hate me for it, but I'm so honest.
24:24I don't care.
24:25So everything you said to me while I was dating that girl was true.
24:29Your name came up once.
24:30Don't bring me into this.
24:32I'm not even kidding.
24:32I heard dark.
24:33You told me.
24:34You said dark in the bathroom one night.
24:36You did.
24:38Sorry.
24:38I'm so sorry.
24:39And I said dark.
24:40I've done it again.
24:41I said dark.
24:41What do you want me to do?
24:42Lie.
24:43I don't lie.
24:43Oh, my God.
24:44I like that you don't lie.
24:44So everything you said was true?
24:46What did you hear about me?
24:46Austin Matthews?
24:48Wait, what?
24:49Who's that?
24:52What did Carly say to you about me?
24:56No, I heard that…
24:57No, Carly didn't say anything.
24:59I heard you always take Ryan's bitches though.
25:02No, it was Archie.
25:05Wait, what?
25:08I heard he uses like astrology and shit.
25:11He does his research.
25:12He's like one of those…
25:13Thank you, Joey.
25:13Actually, you do…
25:14Well, I find it odd that there's two cancers and two Geminis here.
25:17Let's team up on them.
25:19We are funnier.
25:19You just want to show me anyways.
25:20Better looking.
25:21Better at sex.
25:23What do we know?
25:23We don't lie.
25:24What do we know?
25:26We know everything.
25:27It's facts.
25:27No, Joey brought up a good point.
25:29And that was a good try to misdirect, but I caught it.
25:31Let's talk about how you try to steal every girl I've ever talked to in my whole life.
25:34Let's go back on that.
25:35Joey, thank you for bringing that up.
25:36Because before we even started filming, I heard the tension about that shit.
25:39So like…
25:40It's getting fucking…
25:40Let's get the heat off us and like back onto your like whatever situation we got going on.
25:43Joey, I was your tour guide today.
25:45I've been nice to you this morning.
25:46No, you haven't.
25:46Yeah, fuck him.
25:47No, Joey, I…
25:48Mucho appreciate him.
25:49We can air it out.
25:50This is going to be your most viewed podcast.
25:52So you guys can air it out right now.
25:53And you know who DMs all the girls I've ever spoken to or tagged in a picture ever?
25:57Who?
25:57905 Shooter.
25:59Joey, Joey.
26:01905 Shooter.
26:02Yeah.
26:03Oh, man.
26:03Yo, what the fuck?
26:04Your ass is not here right now.
26:06He still can't believe it.
26:08That's the best part.
26:09Okay.
26:09He's eating a chicken ranch trap.
26:10Leave him alone.
26:10Okay, we're hitting time soon.
26:12We're going to finish this on a couple of last questions.
26:15Carly Lawrence, first, I love you.
26:16And I'm happy…
26:16I love you too.
26:17I'm really happy we reconnected.
26:18And Toronto misses you, first of all.
26:20Second of all…
26:21So how are you liking Hollywood?
26:22What's next for Carly Lawrence?
26:23We're going to get serious.
26:24We're going to get serious.
26:25No, I love Hollywood.
26:26I love LA.
26:27Okay.
26:27I'm building my life out there for sure.
26:29Yeah.
26:29But I love Toronto.
26:30I miss it.
26:30When I come back, I feel like…
26:32Your family's still here, no?
26:33I feel like you guys are my family.
26:35Y'all hate me.
26:36It's fine.
26:37No, no, no.
26:37Big Tip Barber is here.
26:39We love your mom.
26:40We love Big Tip Barber.
26:41We love your dog, Benji.
26:42There we go.
26:43You met Benji.
26:44Ryan, you met Benji.
26:46He's never met Benji.
26:47Tell them how good Benji is.
26:48Good dog.
26:49Cute dog.
26:49Is it a good dog?
26:50She hypes it up like no.
26:51It's like my girl, Mrs. Quickie, bought a dog.
26:55But the mom takes care of it.
26:56Sends stories of the dog.
26:57Isn't Benji the best?
26:59Ryan, I love Benji.
27:00Pisses and shits on the ground.
27:01It's fine.
27:01Are you kidding me?
27:02Benji is fully trained and squirt.
27:04It's fucking shits on your face.
27:05There's a crew here.
27:06No, that's right.
27:08Shut up the crew right now.
27:12This is my first like this.
27:14Like usually it's just like two people in a studio.
27:16It's usually just me and you.
27:17This is lit.
27:18You guys have a dope thing going on.
27:19We found them on LinkedIn.
27:20They don't know us.
27:21I want to end it with this.
27:22I really want to end it with this.
27:23Carly, can you show us your boobs and we'll blur it out.
27:26And then can you show us that fucking 14-inch cock of your ass?
27:29Are you on fucking crack?
27:30You got to subscribe.
27:31$14,900.
27:31$15,000, baby.
27:34We are all about clickbait here, folks.
27:35That's it.
27:36OnlyFans.com slash Mr. Quickie.
27:39There we go.
27:39He's actually getting OnlyFans next week.
27:41And I'm going to be fucking rich, okay?
27:43Call her at your boy.
27:44I feel like shorted right now.
27:45We didn't even get the Mr. Quickie 60 cent.
27:47We had a substitute and we had the car on the bench.
27:50And she came at me.
27:52She's different in salt.
27:53Look, she's with 9-0.
27:55Snapping chicken burgers.
27:56She likes to have her vagina eaten.
27:58Oh.
27:58Well, he doesn't do that.
28:00Someone asked that.
28:00You know, that's true.
28:01Someone asked that and I actually heard.
28:02A trick I learned, actually, about eating vagina…
28:04Carly, tell me if this is right or wrong.
28:06But I heard this from grade 9.
28:08I did it until probably second year of college.
28:09So I want to say six years.
28:10And they said, do the alphabet with your tongue.
28:12In capital letters.
28:13And I went…
28:14A, B, C, B…
28:14Yeah, you know what?
28:15The first time I learned how to grind…
28:16They're like, you're going to fuck it up sometimes…
28:17Listen!
28:18The first time I learned how to grind was…
28:20He told me to cursive my name.
28:22So I cursive my name on his butt.
28:24Oh, that's like…
28:24On his butt.
28:25No, that makes sense.
28:26C-A-R-L-Y.
28:27What's the first sex tip you've received?
28:29Curse of what?
28:30What's the first sex tip you've received?
28:33First sex tip?
28:35Yeah.
28:36None.
28:37Yeah, what?
28:38A tip?
28:38I don't know.
28:39Like…
28:40I don't know.
28:41What's the first sex tip you received?
28:43What kind of person is that?
28:44When your dick looks like a Jenga box…
28:46You don't have to…
28:46You don't need tips.
28:48My name is Ryan Powell.
28:49My name is Ryan Powell.
28:49This is Mr. Quickie.
28:51Thank you so much for tuning in to Pillow Talk.
28:52We love you all.
28:53Thank you so much.
28:54Carly Lawrence and Joy Joy, the most fucking…
28:57The…
28:57The…
28:58The…
28:58The drunkenest…
28:59The most…
29:00I was going to say that!
29:01…season two cast members ever to survive.
29:03We're the latest from the corniest fucking reality show on.
29:05I was going to say the most fucked up.
29:07What camera am I looking at?
29:09That one does not look like…
29:11905 Shooter, where are those?
29:13905, come here.
29:15905, get it.
29:15305, 305 Shooter.
29:17Come sit on my lap real quick.
29:19Yo, I'll fucking…
29:20You guys can just eat chants.
29:22Like it's Christmas.
29:24Get in here.
29:25This is…
29:25Me and my boy…
29:2790 Shooter…
29:28Yo, this is the thumbnail.
29:30Just call me Jason too, but…
29:31Oh, Jason?
29:32You don't…
29:33You don't say Jason?
29:34Oh, Jason.
29:35This is Jason.
29:37I'm not going to be able to call you Jason.
29:38Jason has a cock like a Coke can.
29:41Do you?
29:42Cock like a…
29:42Thick, caffeinated, and filled with sugar.
29:44Who wants to go to EFS, baby, because I'm ready.
29:47Let's go to EFS.
29:48I love you, Ryan.
29:49Thank you so much.
29:50I love you, Carly Lawrence.
29:51We love you so much.
29:52Thank you for having me.
29:52I appreciate it.
29:52Thank you for tuning in, and we will see you next Tuesday.
29:55See you next Tuesday.
29:56See you on T.
29:57Cunt.
29:57Hey, LinkedIn guests.
29:59You're the only one that's ever caught that.
30:00Let's go.
30:01Thank you so much.
Be the first to comment