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00:00The Card Shark, starting Monday at 7.30.
00:30The Card Shark, starting Monday at 7.30.
01:00The Card Shark, starting Monday at 7.30.
01:30The Card Shark, starting Monday at 7.30.
01:32The Card Shark, starting Monday at 7.30.
01:34The Card Shark, starting Monday at 7.30.
01:36The Card Shark, starting Monday at 7.30.
01:40The Card Shark, starting Monday at 7.30.
01:42The Card Shark, starting Monday at 7.30.
01:46The Card Shark, starting Monday at 7.30.
01:50The Card Shark, starting Monday at 7.30.
01:52The Card Shark, starting Monday at 7.30.
01:54The Card Shark, starting Monday at 7.30.
01:56The Card Shark, starting Monday at 7.30.
01:58The Card Shark, starting Monday at 7.30.
02:00the Card Shark, starting Monday at 7.30.
02:02The Card Shark, starting Monday at 7.30.
02:04The Card Shark, starting Monday at 7.30.
02:05The Card Shark, starting Monday at 7.30.
02:06I'm all wound up this morning, aren't I?
02:08Sorry, beginning to sound like one of the seven dwarfs.
02:10Speedy.
02:12You know, Roxy, I got an aunt just like you.
02:15Yeah?
02:15Yeah, about six years ago, they nabbed her on a Staten Island ferry.
02:18She was standing on the bow beside the Gettysburg Address
02:20in a rain hat and boxer shorts.
02:22What a wacko.
02:24It wasn't even raining.
02:28Roxy, Chef Nakahura called.
02:30He can't go on today.
02:32Oh, no.
02:33Now I'm going to have to replace a few new sushi.
02:36Oh, what's the problem?
02:38His cat ate the show.
02:42Let's see.
02:43I think I'll just move up the magic butcher a half an hour
02:46and plug in a rerun of Trout Fishing with Earl.
02:51Live commercial.
02:52Roxy, you're up.
02:52Just a second.
02:53In nine, eight, seven, two, three.
02:58The second half of Exercise with the Plotniks
03:16has been brought to you by
03:18Plotniks,
03:20the first kosher French pastry shop
03:23where Estelle Plotnik says
03:25Our blintzes melt your boosh.
03:34And now that, too,
03:36Exercise with the Plotniks.
03:38Get physical, physical,
03:41Get physical, physical,
03:47Let me hear your body talk.
03:51Hello, WNYV, Roxanne Brinkerhoff.
03:55Yeah, this is Roxy.
03:57Who?
03:59You're kidding.
04:01I don't believe you.
04:03I don't believe you.
04:06I don't believe you.
04:09I don't believe you.
04:11Who's she talking to, the president?
04:13Heather Brown, how on earth did you find me?
04:22It's my best friend from high school.
04:24I haven't talked to her in 15 years.
04:26Heather!
04:28Well, I'm married.
04:32Yeah.
04:35He's a teacher.
04:37Uh-huh.
04:37No, no kids.
04:38How about you?
04:39Three kids?
04:41What?
04:42She said one of each.
04:48I mean, show business?
04:50Well, I guess you could call it that.
04:52Yeah.
04:53W-N-Y-V-T-V.
04:55Pictures that fly through the air.
04:57That's our slogan.
05:00On the program director here.
05:02No, it's no big deal.
05:03I run the place.
05:08No, no, really.
05:09No, it's not that glamorous, honestly.
05:11Really.
05:12Oh, Heather, I'm just a hard-working girl with a vision.
05:17Oh, Heather, I don't know.
05:19Well, I guess I am single-handedly changing the direction of television today.
05:24Yeah.
05:25Well, I'd love to see you, too.
05:27Well, how about tomorrow?
05:29Here.
05:29At 11 o'clock?
05:30Okay, we'll have lunch.
05:32Oh, Heather, it's great to talk to you.
05:34Okay, bye.
05:37I can't believe it.
05:39Heather Brown.
05:41Valedictorian, prom queen, class president.
05:43Boy, she sounds terrific.
05:44What's she doing now?
05:45Oh, I didn't dare to ask.
05:47She's probably a doctor, lawyer, astronaut, ballet dancer.
05:52Well, how'd you ever lose track of her?
05:53I don't know.
05:54I guess we just sort of went our separate ways.
05:56You know, it happens to everybody.
05:57Well, not to me.
05:59I still hear from all my old friends.
06:00Except for Jimmy O'Brien.
06:02He's in a monastery, vow of silence.
06:04Oh.
06:05Well, if you ever do see him again, say, for me.
06:12Roxy.
06:13Yes, sir.
06:14Would you mind telling me what this says?
06:17I'm trying to, sir, but Evelyn Wood couldn't read that fast.
06:21Unless you have an incredibly good reason for okaying this invoice, which you don't,
06:25you're going to be paying for this bill out of your own pocket.
06:27Mr. Buchanan, before you get too upset, I'd like to explain.
06:30You see, sir, I had an idea about doing a piece, dealing with the plight of...
06:34Roxy, I don't want any more socially relevant programming.
06:38We keep trying to change the philosophy of this station,
06:40which is and always will be average programming for the average viewer.
06:47I know, but I think we owe something to our public.
06:49We owe more to our bank.
06:51Sir, the cost of producing this segment is roughly, Marcy?
06:55$756.22.
06:58I don't do roughly.
07:01Where is that money supposed to come from?
07:03I convinced a small business to sponsor this segment.
07:06That's $275 per minute.
07:08Yeah, for six local commercial spots.
07:10That's $1,650 for a net profit of $893.78.
07:16You're very good with figures.
07:18I should be.
07:19I've been keeping the books here for 18 months, three weeks, and four days.
07:24Mr. Buchanan, I'm scheduled to go out and do this tomorrow morning.
07:28It says to our public, we care.
07:31It also represents a sizable profit to our struggling station.
07:34However, if you want me to cancel it, just say so.
07:42You're the boss.
07:44You don't have to get snotty about it.
07:48I was just asking a question.
07:50Then you approve?
07:51Of course I approve.
07:53I'll have you know that I'm as socially minded as the next person.
07:55The welfare of the human condition is of paramount importance to me as well.
07:59Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
08:01Would you like to hear what I plan to do?
08:04Not particularly.
08:15And then I went on and on like an idiot to Heather.
08:18I practically told her I invented television.
08:21Thank God she's not coming while I'm playing Miss Mosey on the Larry the Lizard show.
08:27She's really your friend.
08:28What difference would that make?
08:29Michael, I want her to know that I've done something with my life,
08:32that I've accomplished something.
08:34Any chance I could become mayor of New York by tomorrow?
08:38Roxy, you're making yourself a little crazy.
08:41Yeah?
08:42Guess I'm not doing you any favors either.
08:44Okay, I'm being selfish.
08:46I haven't even asked how your day was.
08:49You can read all about it in tomorrow's New York Times.
08:51Yeah?
08:51Yeah.
08:52School teacher Michael Brinkerhoff single-handedly prevented Danny Wasserman, age seven,
08:57from force-feeding an eraser to Jennifer Ortega, age with help.
09:02Mr. Wasserman stated his justification for the attack was,
09:05she made a face at me.
09:06You deserve a reward.
09:10Mm-hmm.
09:11Mm-hmm.
09:13What do you think I ought to wear tomorrow?
09:15How about your, uh, white and blue thing?
09:17You mean my oyster and aquamarine silk and rammy coordinate?
09:22Yeah, that's what I said.
09:23I don't know.
09:24It's a little too upscale, isn't it?
09:25A little too nice looking.
09:26Mm-hmm.
09:26Then I suggest you wear your ugly lime green polyester jumpsuit.
09:31You know, the one you say makes you look like a tennis ball.
09:33Michael, I want to look nice tomorrow.
09:38I just don't want Heather to think I'm trying to impress her.
09:41Well, aren't you?
09:43Yes.
09:44I just don't want her to think that.
09:48And, of course, there's something else here you haven't considered.
09:50Yeah?
09:50Yeah, what if she's rich?
09:52I mean, rich, rich.
09:53I'm talking a check from Ed McMahon rich.
09:56And there I am looking like a bum?
09:58Mm-hmm.
09:59You mind if I give you a little advice?
10:01Depends on what it is.
10:02Wear what you'd normally wear to the office
10:04and forget about trying to impress Heather?
10:08You're absolutely right.
10:11Of course.
10:12Can you believe I'm going on and on about this?
10:14Of course I'm going to wear the white and blue thing.
10:16I just hope it's nice enough.
10:17But not too nice.
10:20Michael, am I too schizophrenic for you?
10:26Yes and no.
10:27Yo, Einstein.
10:39I found yesterday's sweet roll order on the floor.
10:42Hey, I read the stuff on the back.
10:44Yeah?
10:45What is that garbage?
10:47It's sample copy for the midday movie.
10:49Roxy thought it'd be good practice for me.
10:51Sort of a learning experience.
10:53You know, so I'd learn.
10:54Tomas, you tell me what this movie is.
10:58A classic film which explores the innate conflict
11:01between impulsive life choices
11:02and their ultimate consequences.
11:05Crime and Punishment.
11:07Close.
11:08Gidja goes Hawaiian.
11:10See, I was trying to make it a little more intriguing.
11:12Oh, sure.
11:13Hey, hey, I could describe that movie in three words.
11:16Bikinis.
11:17Bouncing.
11:18Bouncing.
11:19Oh, here, let me give you a hand.
11:22Oh, wait.
11:22Forget him, honey.
11:23I'm killing myself over here.
11:25Geez.
11:25Here you go.
11:26Thanks, babe.
11:27Oh, thank you.
11:28Thanks.
11:29Oh.
11:30Don't tell me.
11:31You've done something different with your hair.
11:36What the hell are you dressed like that for?
11:38It's for my feature story, Vito.
11:40I have just been out on the streets
11:42experiencing firsthand the problems
11:45that overweight people have in everyday life.
11:47Why tell me?
11:55Can't believe what I've just been through.
11:58These people are so discriminated against.
12:01First, I get stuck in a subway turnstile.
12:04Then I go into an all-you-can-eat-for-5.95 restaurant.
12:08And the cook looks at me in front of everybody
12:10and says, great, now how am I supposed
12:12to send my kids to college?
12:13Roxy, Heather Brown is here to see you.
12:19Heather Brown?
12:20Oh, gosh.
12:21Can you keep her entertained for a few minutes
12:22while I get into something else?
12:23What are you doing?
12:24She's an old friend of yours with a sense of humor.
12:27Let her see you like this.
12:28No.
12:29Really?
12:30Yeah.
12:31Well, all right.
12:34Should I send her in?
12:35Or get her a hotel room?
12:36You can send her in.
12:39Heather Brown?
12:40Heather Brown?
12:41Heather?
12:55Roxy?
12:56Roxy?
12:56hey what a plan for building a perfect cheeseburger start with cheese glorious cheese
13:16a plank of swiss over here a perfect swiss burger cut that cheddar for a bacon cheddar
13:23burger haul in to monterey jack a perfect mexican burger to get your plans hurry to your
13:29grocer's meat or dairy case and enter the build the perfect cheeseburger sweepstakes you could
13:33win a perfect patio and barbecue set with real cheese every cheeseburger you build will be perfect
13:39maybelline creates color wand powder eyeshadow twist
13:47release color new color wand powder eyeshadow from maybelline 12 elegant wands of rich color that
13:59let you shadow shape line and define for the most beautiful eyes you've ever seen just twist
14:05release and color with new color wand by maybelline
14:11when respect is a thing of the past well excuse me if i don't bow down and kiss the floor
14:17it's time to take five starring george siegel premiering next
14:22thursday a rock video star meets a tragic fate he's paralyzed i'm a wizard she's a dancer and the
14:29wizard must choreograph a plan to trap her would-be killer then the going gets rough for guess who as
14:37rick and aj get in over their heads fighting their latest competition the best investigator win
14:42and on nuts lending are we on for tonight business is business nobody can know about this seductive
14:50deception you can be okay painful choices
14:53would you know an addict if you saw one if you double or triple the dosage of your doctor's
15:02prescription you're not on the road to recovery you're on the road to addiction
15:06roxy uh want to split a tongue and swiss oh no thank you heather i couldn't eat another bite
15:15oh who are you kidding we didn't get this big on perrier and rice cake
15:19here no thank you heather really i'm not hungry oh just keep eating the feeling will pass
15:26so uh how long has it been since you two last saw each other let's see uh i figure we haven't
15:34seen each other in over 200 pounds would you believe the two of us used to be skinny little
15:41cheerleaders look at us now we look like minneapolis saint paul
15:45how about if we give marcy a little uh demonstration oh gosh not in this lifetime
15:53as a fellow member of the capo zeta sorority you cannot refuse oh heather that's not fair
15:59you took the oath get up
16:02okay ready no here we go
16:08did i push him oh relax take it easy
16:38what happened to that fun-loving teenager i used to know heather i guess i'm just uncomfortable
16:43with all these jokes about being overweight overweight we're not overweight we're fat
16:49if we set fire to our hair we'd burn for a month
16:54stand by two minutes tilari the lizard show let's move it be back in a flash
17:01all right come on come on come on okay
17:09all right go bring in the kids
17:14show time
17:20roxy
17:26mr buchanan she really thinks i look like this don't give me away and i'll polish your claws for
17:33a month two months six weeks deal
17:36i'd like you to meet my boss leon buchanan well it's uh very nice to meet you i'm also the star of
17:44the larry the lizard show oh i don't think we get that in denver don't worry it's not your fault
17:48lizard time
17:53doesn't leon remind you a little bit of gilbert schindler
18:00gilbert schindler
18:02right marching band played the tuba
18:04he kissed me once and almost blew my eyes out
18:07oh heather i missed you
18:12how can you miss me i'm like the good you're blimp in a dress
18:15and all she did until the minute she left was tell jokes about being fat
18:27roxy did you know i was the only human being ever to be awarded her own personal zip code
18:33roxy you know what size dress i wear a hippo three
18:38why didn't you just tell you a dress like that for your feature story i think she would have understood
18:43michael you didn't see her face when she laid eyes on me
18:47it was as if we were in some elite club together
18:49like we were two peas trapped in the same very large pod
18:53what am i gonna do
18:55honey i know you unless you're honest with her
18:57you're not gonna be happy
18:58no what's so important about being happy my parents aren't happy
19:02and listen they've learned to enjoy their misery
19:04oh michael
19:05i have deceived an old very dear friend
19:08i feel so two-faced
19:10and have a talk with her
19:14face to face
19:15to face
19:17it's too late she's leaving tomorrow anyway
19:21call her
19:22tell her to come by the office on her way to the airport
19:24okay
19:27i'll do it
19:30roxy
19:32yeah
19:32i don't know what you'd do without me
19:34me either
19:35heather brown please
19:42you're gonna feel a lot better doing this
19:45she's not in her room
19:48try the restaurant
19:50roxy
20:00yeah
20:00i just finished the copy to the midday movie
20:03oh great
20:04gidget goes hawaiian
20:06okay
20:07bouncing beauties abound in this cocoa butter romp
20:11as a handful of bikini clad coeds
20:14surf their way through a hurricane of trouble
20:17to help gidget search for moondoggy
20:21what do you think
20:25well it's a lot more than i expected
20:27thanks
20:28yeah
20:28i think you might be able to thin it out a little bit though
20:32you know just make it lean no fat
20:34right
20:35okay thanks
20:35yeah
20:36still thinking about heather
20:37what do you mean
20:38thin this out i want it lean no fat
20:41oh marcy
20:44what am i gonna do
20:45heather's gonna come up here any minute
20:47i know i'm gonna chicken out
20:49oh no no no
20:49you're gonna do fine
20:50just try it one more time
20:52uh
20:52heather
20:54something's been bothering me
20:57i've made a big mistake
20:59better not say big
21:00right
21:02okay
21:03heather something's been bothering me
21:05i've made a mistake
21:05i've made a mistake
21:06good okay good
21:08i feel good
21:08yeah
21:09heather's here
21:11oh
21:11i can't see her today
21:13tell her i'm busy
21:15tell her
21:15well no
21:16tell her something came up
21:17tell her i was dragged off by a big dog
21:19i can't lie
21:23don't lie
21:23just don't tell her the truth
21:25look steve wait
21:26sorry
21:28send her in
21:29hi
21:35hi heather
21:36is roxy here
21:37yes
21:38but she can't come out here now
21:40oh that's okay
21:41my plane isn't for a couple hours
21:43well i don't think roxy will be able to come out here until after you've left
21:47oh i'll wait
21:49she asked me to stop by
21:51i'm sure she wouldn't want you to miss your plane
21:53well if i have to i can just take a later plane
21:55she's very busy today
21:56let me go see what i can do
22:00hi there
22:06oh hello
22:07where's everybody
22:08roxy's busy doing something
22:10marcy just went to get her
22:11ah
22:12so
22:13i suppose you're wondering how the station manager got to be
22:16larry the lizard huh
22:17well actually i just was sitting here
22:19no bother
22:19most people are curious
22:21it was on a friday
22:22the previous larry
22:24his name's not important
22:25had an accident
22:26he accidentally drank a fifth of vodka before the show
22:29i couldn't let the poor kids down
22:32the suit fit
22:34the rest is show business history
22:37heather
22:44heather hi
22:46thanks for coming by
22:48gee something came up at the last minute
22:50and i've got tons of work
22:51i mean lots of work
22:53it was great seeing you again
22:55have a great trip home
22:56and i'll call you in a couple of days
22:58well could you just come out for a minute
22:59there's something i have to say to you
23:01oh heather could this wait and let us do it on the phone
23:04no i i just can't leave without talking to you
23:07it's about friends being honest with each other
23:11heather
23:22before you begin i got something to tell you
23:25no
23:26can it wait until after i'm finished
23:27no i've got to get this off my chest
23:29okay i'm gonna let you say it after i'm finished
23:31heather this is very important
23:33please
23:33listen to me okay
23:35yesterday when you said that you missed me
23:38well i missed you too
23:41there's somebody very special to me
23:44and i realize we haven't been very honest with each other
23:48i mean beneath these two rather large exteriors
23:53are a couple of
23:54pretty miserable out of control people
23:57constantly feeding our faces
24:00because inside we feel so empty
24:01i just haven't had whatever it takes to lose weight
24:06even though i know how unhealthy it is to be like this
24:10i suppose i just got used to it
24:13but when i sit here and
24:16look at you
24:18it breaks my heart
24:22i just wanted to be honest with you
24:27now
24:30what do you want to say to me
24:33oh nothing
24:39no
24:40you said it was important
24:42did i
24:43yes you did
24:44oh heather
24:47i haven't been very honest with you
24:50and i'm not very proud of that
24:53oh
24:56so
24:57i'm gonna try to be as honest as i can
25:01yesterday when i saw you
25:05it broke my heart too
25:08and i'd really like to be able to help you
25:12but
25:12i just don't see how i can
25:14maybe there is a way
25:20i'm gonna make you a deal
25:24i promise you
25:27that next year at this time
25:30i am gonna be so trim and healthy
25:32that you won't recognize me
25:34if you promise to do the same
25:35i'm really serious about this
25:39you bet
25:40is it a deal
25:42sure
25:43what have we got to lose
25:45oh
25:46i don't know
25:48about 250 pounds between us
25:51let's celebrate
25:59yeah
26:00let's see
26:01have you had lunch
26:02no
26:03no
26:03let's go split a carrot
26:05mom's magic meatloaf
26:21is weighing on you
26:22like a ton of bricks
26:23send the bubbles of alka-seltzer to the rescue
26:30because speed is what you need
26:32to lift the heaviness off your stomach
26:33and relieve your heartburn and pounding headache fast
26:36so for fast relief
26:37let the bubbles rise to the occasion
26:39alka-seltzer to the rescue
26:42try new extra strength alka-seltzer
26:46more of what you take alka-seltzer for
26:48hello
26:52hello
26:53hello
26:54hello
26:54hello
26:55how do you like the way i'm looking now
27:02the new
27:04boll's cutlass sierra coupe
27:06as different as day and night
27:09it's you and i
27:10it's you and i
27:10it's your first home
27:13boll's mobile quality
27:17feel it
27:19friday mom's got her first date
27:22you are not leaving the house in this dress
27:24but is she ready for the single scene
27:27when are you gonna come out
27:28never
27:29nothing is easy
27:30then the popcorn kid
27:32the critics love it
27:34and so will you
27:35the popcorn kid
27:37friday on cbs
27:39a note about the neighborhood
27:42starting saturday april 11th
27:44the hammer comes down on a new night
27:46at 8 7 central and mountain
27:48next time i'll knock
27:50his wife left him
28:03fired from his job
28:04and his best friend turned on him
28:06but he doesn't get mad
28:07he gets funny
28:08george siegel stars in the premiere of
28:10take five
28:11next
28:11on dallas
28:23just don't ask me to give up the one thing
28:25a weekend update
28:27with a weekend update
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